From: Star Fire Date: Wed, 24 Nov 1999 11:43:49 -0800 (PST) Subject: Story Submission Source: direct Reply To: Starfire@frodo.net TITLE: Concert Fun AUTHORS: Muldy & Sculler CATEGORY: SHR KEYWORDS: Crossover (sort of) SUMMARY: Mulder and Scully get an interesting assignment with interesting consequences. RATING: PG-13 Disclaimer: We, the humble authors, have composed this little story with only the intent of entertaining. We are not trying to profit off of this in any shape or form, like two great greedy jerkoffs. I must say, that we are not two great greedy jerkoffs, and therefore, we are not trying to profit off of this. Oh, just shoot me out of this misery!! Concert Fun by Muldy & Sculler One day Mulder was sitting peacefully in his office when Skinner slided in wearing a g-string. Mulder's mouth fell open and he croaked, "Wow, you're hot, dude!" Then Scully runs in wearing her new little red bikini. Mulder's mouth fell open again but somehow found the control to gasp out, "Wow Scully! I never knew you wanted it that way!" She started doing an exotic dance, "So what do you think, Mulder?" "I like!" Mulder giggled fiendishly. Skinner began cart-wheeling in a possessed manner around their tiny basement office. "Gimme candy!! I want candy!! Mommy! Make FBI Man give candy!!" Then he opened his mouth and out spewed "I want it thata way!" by the Backstreet Boys. He continued through the rest of the song in a slightly off key voice. Scully jumped into Mulder's lap and started doing a lap dance. Mulder's mind was reeling...this could be the best day of his life! Even better than all his tapes...more giggling... Skinner pulled two tickets out of his ear. "You two are going undercover to an 'Nsync concert...going as two teens on a date," he said with a cheesy grin. Mulder giggled some more. "Yay! Concerts are fun! 'Yes, yes, here we go! Nsync has got the flow!" Scully gave Mulder a big smack on the lips and pranced around the room. "Yah! I wanna go concert!! I wanna go concert!! 'Nsync has got the flow!" Skinner barked at them, "You two stop this nonsense now and go get some appropriate clothing for the concert!!" They saluted him briskly and ran off. Skinner lay back with a smile of content and put a 'Nsync CD on. Life was good. Now if only he could find that stash of magazines Mulder had... ******* "So whaddya wanna wear?" Scully asked Mulder, who was hunting for one last seed in the depths of his trenchcoat pocket. "I don't know. Could I please go in a suit?" He put on his best puppy dog face. Scully found it difficult to resist that particularly endearing look but somehow forced herself to say, "Nope." "Okay then. Here we go!" They drove off to the mall, where they were swamped by swarms of girls wearing 'Nsync t-shirts. Mulder looked with approval at them. "Hey, I like! Gimme one of those!" Scully raised an eyebrow at his strange taste but decided it might be fun. "Alright, but I want the black one!" "Fine, then I get the baby blue one!" Soon they came out of the mall wearing 'Nsync t-shirts & baggy cargo pants. Scully sported a nose ring while Mulder had a little tattoo of an alien with 'Nsync written beneath it on his biceps. Actually, there was another tattoo in a place where nobody usually looked,it happened to be Scully's name encircled by a heart. ******* The place was unusually crowded. In their new attire, Scully and Mulder fought through the crowd to reach their seats up front. As they struggled through the crowd, suddenly Mulder caught side of a familiar little man. "Hey Frohike!" he yelled, "Over here!" Frohike popped up, with Langley and Byers in tow. They were all dressed in matching 'Nsync tank tops. Byers even shaved his beard. Frohike started singing "God Must Have Spent a Little More Time on You" while gazing soulfully at Scully. Mulder was torn between thoughts of punching dear old 'hike or bursting out loud in laughter. As if reading his mind, Frohike turned and glared at him. "My kung fu is better!" The five of them proceeded to their seats, Frohike still singing in his *sexy* voice. As they sat down, the stage darkened, and the screaming stopped. Anticipation hung in the air like anticipation in the air. Smoke issued from the wings and everything was obscured. Then, the lights flashed on and 'Nsync appeared on stage. Behind them were five more people, whom Justin Timberlake introduced as their back up dancers, amid screams of "I love you!" and "Marry me!" from the crowd. Then they started dancing and singing "Here we go". Mulder, taking a close look at the backup dancers, commented to Scully, "Hey don't those two look familiar?" Scully frowned. "I don't know Mulder, many people look like that. Besides, we're supposed to be enjoying the concert." She started waving her arms in sync with the music and started screaming as loud as some of those girls. Mulder stared at her, not quite sure whether it was Scully or not, then he decided, oh what the hell, he had nothing to lose anyway, so he too started waving and screaming and being 'N sync as much as the other fans. A slow song came on and the backup dancers disappeared. "I bring you love..." sang J.C. happening to gaze at Scully. Justin joined him. They stood on the edge of the stage directly in front of her, and stayed there for the rest of song. J.C. wished that she would reach out her hand or something like the other fans but she only smiled."For the girl who has everything..." they sang. Mulder felt a growl arise at the back of his throat. He felt a primal urge to throw himself at those little punks for looking at her that way. Scully was *his*, dammit. But then thankfully the song ended and Justin and J.C. left without any bodily damage, unaware that they had just narrowly missed death or serious injury by a heartbeat. Scully smiled at Mulder. "Wasn't that fun?" Mulder stared at her, wondering if this was *his* Scully. Onstage, Justin was speaking. "Okay, now we have something special for you guys. Last month you guys voted for Best Backup Dancer. Now here are the results of that vote!" The crowd burst into screaming. Justin smiled and half the girls in the crowd fainted. "First up, our runner-up for Best Backup" Justin drawled. "Everybody say hi to....Jeffrey Spender!!" The crowd erupted into cheers, for in their mind, anybody who dances for 'Nsync must be a saint. Besides, in the word of a certain friend, he was "sorta cute". Spender bowed and smiled what he imagined to be his most charming grin. However, Scully managed to shut her mouth and mutter, "Little weasel..." under her breath. Beside her, his mouth still hanging open, Mulder nodded wholeheartedly. "And now what y'all have been waiting for...Best Backup Dancer!!! Here is our beloved Smoking Man!!" Justin enthused happily. Scully and Mulder fainted into a little bundle at the foot of the stage, one falling on top of the other, as Smoking Man strutted onto the stage. "Somebody help the beautiful lady!" J.C. yelled. He & Justin leapt off the stage to see to the condition of their fans. J.C. immediately began giving Scully mouth-to-mouth. J ustin, not wanting to do the same, emptied a bottle of ice-cold Dr. Pepper onto Mulder's face. He burst out into incoherent splutters as he tried to get the liquid out of his nose and mouth. However, when he saw J.C. & Scully he immediately conked out again, convinced that this was all a very bad dream, but it only earned him another douse of soda. When he finally did regain consciousness, he managed to pull J.C. away & put him back where he belonged. Then, tenderly, he pulled Scully up to a sitting position and helped her up. Gently, "Are you alright?" She smiled up at him. "Yeah, I'm fine." A little disgruntled, both Justin and J.C. went back onto the stage, only to find that Lance and Spender were entertaining the crowd with an improtu break dancing session. Many people were laughing uncontrollably as they slid across the floor on their heads, but many girls were looking over in Scully's direction with both envy and hatred in their eyes. Mulder mumbled, "If that little bastard comes near you again, I'll smack him so hard, he's gonna be able to visit with little green men." Scully grinned to herself, but said seriously, "What's he doing here?" Mulder had gotten over his initial shock and had come to terms with seeing Smoking Man here. "Maybe the old man finally found his wild side." "Yeah, sure, and happened to become a backup dancer for one of the hottest music groups country." "Could happen." "Wow! That Spender really can dance!" "Yup. Lance isn't so bad either." Mulder shot Scully a strange look. Lance? He was ugly, as well as fat. "You have odd tastes," he observed. She smirked at him. "Yup, that's why I like you!" Onstage, Justin Timberlake, with the help of his friend & fellow singer Chris Kirkpatrick, was getting everything back under control. The break dancers were coaxed to stop, although Chris felt a great urge to join them. He thought to himself, Man, Justin needs to lighten up. Chris stepped up to the mike. "Okay, everybody, as y'all know, I have a clothing line, called Fumanskito. As part of the promotion process, we're showing brief models during our concerts. So y'know, if you like anything, just give me a call." Then the lights dimmed to leave only one spotlight illuminating our very own and dearly beloved Jeffrey Spender, wearing a ghetto-type baggy shirt and loose baggy grunge jeans. Next to parade out was his dear father, wearing a sleeveless vest, a see-through mesh-shirt, and dark baggy pants. Mulder & Scully both raised their eyebrows and said in unison, "That is one sight I did *not* want to see." They looked at each other and laughed. The fans seemed to enjoy it though. Frohike looked like he wanted to throw up. Suddenly, Scully looked around, to find that Mulder had disappeared. Where had that psycho gone? She shook her head. Oh well, he'll turn up sooner or later. He always did. Cancer Man & Jeffrey made their rounds & "catwalked" backstage. Chris's voice boomed out again. "And now our special model, chosen especially for his fine looks and handsome body. Everybody welcome Fox Mulder!!" "And boy, is he a *fox*!!" quipped Lance from the side. Everybody gave him strange stares. Scully's mouth fell open. There seemed to be a lot of that lately. What was going on? First Skinner, then Frohike, Spender, Smoking Man, now even *Mulder*?!?! Mulder came out, in a black tank top that did show off his biceps quite nicely, Scully thought. The tight-fitting black jeans were even nicer, as they showed off his tight ass. The girls began to howl. And he's *mine*, Scully thought with an wicked grin. None of you can get your dirty little hands on his butt, he's *all* mine. So dream on, you suckers. Mulder looked over at her, as if knowing exactly what she was thinking, and gave her a big wink. The girls around Scully started screaming. But Scully smiled smugly, because she knew who that wink was *really* for. Mulder made one more round of the stage, then went over to Justin and spoke quietly to him. The music started up, the intro to what every die-hard 'Nsync fan would know as "I Drive Myself Crazy". Mulder took up the mike and started singing solo. "Lying in your arms, so close together. Didn't notice what I had" He smiled deeply at Scully, wanting her to know that he meant every single word. She read it in his eyes, and her eyes told him that she knew. He continued to sing, still smiling and swaying to the music a little. "Now I cry alone in the dark I like awake I drive myself crazy, Thinking of you" He reached out his hand to Scully and pulled he onto the stage. He took her into his arms and together they danced on stage in the full view of everybody. Overhead, the stars shown down, and perhas a few little green men saw their long, sweet, kiss. Ending disclaimers: I am not an 'nsync fan!! NO! never will i bow to that brainwashing force! It just so happened that Muldy was a fan, so they appeared in this joinly authored story. Comments to laterose6@hotmail.com