From: Lola <lolabeegood@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 2009 17:31:11 -0400
Subject: Condoms by Lolabeegood
Source: direct

Title: Condoms 

Author: Lolabeegood
E-mail: lolabeegood@gmail.com
Distribution: Archive freely with my name attached, just
let me know where

Rating: R
Categories: S, R
Keywords: Mulder/Scully romance, Missing Scenes, Post-
Episode, Post-Series
Spoilers: The entire series, IWTB
Summary: Mulder hates condoms for more than the obvious 
reasons


I do not own the characters.  I do not make any money from 
this.Thank you to the Bee Gees for the use of their Lyrics 
to"How Deep Is Your Love". 


Enjoy!

**

Mulder was sitting in the SUV outside of a third store and 
getting more and more nervous each time they stopped.  
Scully's plan was a good one but it didn't make it make it 
any easier to sit and wait while she was inside. The radio 
hummed softly in the background as he sat and watched.  
Watched the store, the parking lot, the people entering for 
any sign of danger.  Until Scully was back in the truck 
with him he almost held his breath.  

Then he saw her emerge.  Arms laden with plastic bags 
filled with supplies and clothes.  Things she had packed 
for them only to be left in another SUV in the desert. 
Mulder felt very grateful for Scully's paranoia at that 
moment.  Had she not stuffed some vital documents and a 
wad of cash into her pant pockets they would have been 
toast.   

Since then she had been meticulously making a list of needs 
while he drove:  first aid kit, medical supplies, clothing, 
backpacks, camping gear, food, toiletries, etc.  Everything 
they would need for the next few weeks or possibly months.  


The plan was to get to the house in Virginia, eventually.  
Mulder had purchased it under a pseudonym many years ago and 
it was sitting, waiting for them with fake ID and safety 
deposit keys to boxes with money that would last them many 
years.  They couldn't go there until it was safe.  Until 
they were sure the trail had gone cold.  Until they could 
live there in peace.

The trunk hatch lifted.  Mulder didn't dare get out of the 
vehicle.  He was not sure what alerts were out for him.

'That's it' she said with a note of exhaustion in her voice


'No more stops?' he inquired hoping for the right answer

'None, we are done and if I forgot anything we'll just have 
to do without it' she said as she slammed the hatch shut

Moments later she hoisted herself into the passenger seat 
and he turned the key and started the engine.  

Looking at her weary face as she buckled her belt he wanted 
to give her once last chance.  One more chance to live a 
normal life, without him.

'You know Scully.  I could live alone for many months on 
the supplies you bought. You could stay here and say I 
let you go'

'You plan on wearing the clothes I bought for myself too?' 
she huffed, obviously peeved

'Well...' he snickered trying to lighten the mood

'Mulder, I'm sick and tired of hearing Wal-Mart and Target 
greetings over a loudspeaker.  I am sick of bright florescent 
overhead lighting, I am tired of being tied up in knots 
thinking we'll be found out, what I not am is sick of you, 
but that is starting to change rapidly.  I am going with 
you.  End of conversation.  Please stop guiltily bringing 
it up again and again.  It's my decision, and it is a 
decision Mulder, not something I feel I'm being forced into. 
Now, can we please drive to a motel?'

'I won't mention it again' he responded in a defeated manner

'Mulder, it's just...' she started to respond feeling guilty 
for the snap that accompanied her words

'No, thank you Scully.  I needed to hear that you decided to 
do this.  Not that you are doing it out of some loyalty to 

me.  And, to be perfectly honest I wouldn't want to do this 
without you.  But I would if I had to'

'You don't have to' she said softening her words and 
touching his cheek in the darkness of the truck 'you'll 
never have to be alone again'

'I love you Scully' he said as he leaned into her touch 
and closed his eyes

'I know Mulder.  I love you too.  We'll make it through 
this together, ok?'

'Ok' he muttered as he kissed her palm and leaned away 
about to drive 

'And Mulder' she started

'Hmm?'

'I'm sorry for my tone.  I need to take it down a notch 
and relax a bit'

He reached over and placed a hand on her thigh, squeezing 
it gently 'Hey Scully it's not everyday that you're on the 
run with a wanted felon who faces lethal injection.  A 
little tension is called for'

With that she snickered 'Oh Mulder, take me to a bed'

'Your wish...' he started and drove out of the lot.

****************

They arrived at the motel outside of town and were pleased 
to see it had parking around back.  Mulder knew they 
wouldn't catch on to the missing SUV they had escaped in 
for a few days but you can never be too careful. Tomorrow 
they would ditch it in a lake after sweeping it for all 
evidence.  It would be a long time before the SUV was 
located.  Scully had purchased a couple of big backpacks 
and, for a while, they would be camping and staying 
off the radar.  Tonight was their last sleep in a bed for 
a while, a sleep both of them were looking forward to.  

Again Mulder found himself waiting in the cab of the van 
while Scully went inside to book the room.  Instead of 
returning to the truck she walked along the path outside 
the motel and veered into the back of the building.  Mulder 
followed her in the truck knowing she was leading him to 
their room.  He backed into a spot in front of it and hopped 
out to unload the gear.  Scully reached for a bag.

'I got it' he said 'go inside and relax.  It's been a long 
day'

'Mulder, if I help we'll get in quicker' she replied 
hastily while looking around

He relented knowing she was right.  They threw all their 
equipment inside the room on the floor and Mulder turned 
toward the door.  

'I saw a path about a 1/2 mile back in the woods.  Looked 
like an old road long abandoned.  I'm going to drive the 
truck up it a bit and leave it there.  I don't want anything 
outside this room that would draw attention to us'

Scully leaned over to grab her coat 'I'll come with you'

'No, it's dark now and I'll just hike through the woods along 
the road back here.  You stay, take a shower, relax. Order us 
a pizza.  I'll only be 20 minutes'

'Sounds nice.  Please stay off the road though'

'I will' he said as he advanced toward her bowing to give her 
a quick kiss

'And Mulder..' she started, pulling away to look in his eyes

'Yes' he replied looking down 

'You'll need a shower too.  I'm not waking up naked in a bed 
filled with sand tomorrow morning' she snickered as she wiped 
sand off his shoulder

'Ok, we'll get a different kind of dirty' he whispered as he 
turned to leave

With that, he was off to hide the truck.  Mulder knew exactly 
what Scully was doing.  He had known her too long to not know 
her this well.  She wanted to make sure he didn't run off and 
she was using the promise of sex as a lure to bring him back 
to her.  He knew he wasn't going anywhere.  They had decided 
to do this together and that was how it was going to be. 

The path was exactly as he thought it would be rough, filled 
with ruts and very overgrown.  Mulder didn't give a shit about 
the paint job or the struts of the SUV so he plowed through, 
hoping it would not rain and that he would not have to dig this 
out tomorrow.   He locked it up and headed toward the road, 
careful to keep a good 30 feet in the brush.  As he walked along 
the rain started.

'Shit' he cursed to himself knowing the mud pie that would 
surround the truck in the morning.  

He could go back and move it before it got worse but he was 
tired, hungry and more willing at this point to dig it out 
then go back.  Scully would be pissed but that was another 
day.  By the time he got back to the motel it was pissing 
rain and he was soaked through.  

As he entered their room he could still hear the shower going 
and was happy Scully was taking some time for herself.  She 
deserved it after what they had been through in the last 48 
hours.  

'Hello?' Scully called from the open bathroom door

'It's just me' he replied as he grabbed a towel of the rack 
next to the bathroom door and rubbed his hair dry, peeled off 
his sopping clothes and rooted through the bags for new ones. 

He would have a shower later but he wanted to eat first and 
didn't want to greet the pizza guy naked.  On que a knock 
banged on the door. Mulder quickly pulled on a pair of jeans 
and grabbed a t-shirt to pull over his head.

'That's the pizza' Scully called from the shower. 'Give me 
second and I'll answer the door'

'I got it' Mulder replied knowing that it was probably safe 
to get it.

He paid the kid who didn't even take out his ear buds 
through the whole transaction and locked the door as he 
shut it.  

'Smells great!  Come and eat.  I'm starving!'


The shower stopped.  

'You go ahead.  I want to dry my hair first before it goes 
all kinky'

'I like it when you're kinky' he muttered

'I heard that' she replied as he heard the hair dryer 
start up

'My stomach can't wait' he guiltily admitted as he reached 
into the box and grabbed his first slice.

The pizza was delicious and before he knew it Mulder had 
eaten 4 slices.  Scully emerged from the washroom all clean 
and dry reaching immediately into the box for a slice.  She 
was just as hungry as he was.  He looked at her and noticed 
the raised eyebrow.  Half the pizza was gone. 

'What? I was hungry' was his only reply.  She sat on the bed, 
he on the floor as she ate in quiet.  3 slices later she went 
to wash her hands and came back to lay on the bed.


'What are you thinking?' she asked from her perch lying on top 
of the bed

'I'm thinking, that I'm a guilty man.  I've failed in every 
respect I deserve the harshest punishment' he began the 
conversation

*****************************

They talked a lot about hope and what the truth meant to them 
and ended asleep in each others arms on the bed.  Too exhausted 
to think anymore, to drained to unpack all their stuff and get 
it ready for the long journey ahead. They lay facing each other, 
his leg slung over her hips, their arms embracing each other 
as they slept for several hours foreheads touching as the rain 
pelted down outside their window. 

The light of the morning woke her first. It peeked out from 
under the drawn curtains calling her to move, stretch, get 
some stuff organized.  The man who tightly held her to him 
had different ideas.  As she tried to roll out of his embrace 
he tightened the grip his leg held over her hip.  

'Where are you going?' he groaned behind closed eyes as his 
hands started to run up and down her back


'We have lots to do Mulder and it's morning already' she 
groggily muttered while pressing a kiss to his eyelids

He shifted his body closer to hers so it was pressed tight 
against her frame and she could feel the bulge under his 
jeans.  He had other ideas that did involve movement but did 
not involve getting off the bed.

'Mulder' she whimpered 'I don't think we have time for this'

'Oh contraire Scully, we make time for this'

'May I remind you that you are a wanted man...'

'Am I?' he countered with a smile on his face

'...wanted by the authorities' 

'That's not as fun' he groaned and released his grip on her 
hip

'I would like to do this as much as you Mulder but really, 
we need to get things moving and you still have not had a 
shower'

'So, it's the sand is it?'

'It's the death penalty that's really putting a damper on 
things this morning' she countered as she raised herself on 
an elbow

'Way to kill the mood Scully' he joked as he got off the 
bed

'Sorry' she replied and seemed genuinely sad that the morning 
started this badly

'No, you are right.  How about I grab a shower and you catch 
a few more minutes sleep'

Mulder knew that she would not lay down for another minute 
but he wanted to at least suggest she enjoy the last bed she 
may see for a while.

He quickly stripped of his clothes and walked bare-assed into 
the bathroom for a nice cold shower.  As he shut the door he 
could already hear Scully opening packaging.

The cool water hitting his back was not exactly what he needed 
but it would do nicely for now.  As he scrubbed his body he 
noticed for the first time his weight loss.  There was loose 
skin that hung from his thighs and ribs he could feel as he ran 
the soap over his body.  All the months he had been away had been 
hard on him physically and emotionally.  Some days he had eaten 
very little and when he was being held by the military a 
well-balanced diet was not high on their priority list.  As his 
thoughts drifted through the days he spent in the military jail he 
felt a shudder.  It wasn't from the memories but from the cool 

breeze that wafted into the shower as Scully, naked as a jay 
bird, entered.  

'Hey' he said eagerly.  The shower was looking much more 
promising

'Hey yourself' 

'Nice of you to join me' he commented as he stepped closer to her 
and ran his hands along her bare hips

'Can we make the water a little warmer Mulder?  I don't think 
you'll need that cold shower'

In seconds he had turned on some more warm water and was moving 
toward her when he felt her hand wrap around his engorged shaft.  

'I thought the least I could do was help you with your predicament' 
she said as she pumped with a hand and started to run her tongue 
along his breast bone

'Thanks' he gasped as he grabbed her ass and pulled her toward him.

He was surprised at her stance.  Keeping herself slightly back from 
him, when all he wanted to do was crush up to her, into her, feel 
her wrapped around him.  

Her hand slowly and methodically pumped his shaft as her other 
hand grasped his balls and cupped them.  She was quickly sending 
him over the edge and he didn't want to arrive there so quickly.  
Her sucking on his nipples and tenderly pinching them with her 
teeth was also making him go just a little crazy.  All these months 
of separation, all these months of only pleasuring himself made 
him want to savor this encounter all the more.  

Trying to take hold of the situation he bent to her breasts and 
started lazily tracing them with his tongue and sucking at them 
with his lips.  The water that trickled down them from the shower 
helped serve as an enticement for more licking.  The arch that 
formed in her back was exactly as he had pictured it time and time 
again over the many months they were apart. His hands soon found her 
vagina and his fingers her opening.  She again pulled back slightly 
and Mulder thought maybe she just wanted this to be about him.  
He wanted those thoughts to end.

'God Scully.  For almost a year I have been dreaming about this' 
he managed through raspy breaths 'I want to feel you around me so 
badly.  I need you Scully, I really need you.'

'Mulder...' she started but was quickly silenced by his mouth 
covering hers and drinking all of her in

'It's been soo long' he groaned as she continued to pump 'I need to 
be inside you.  Our first time back can't be just about me'

He moved his hand from her mound to his shaft and grasped her 
hand to remove it.  She slowly released him and seemed nervous as 
he grabbed her behind the knee to open her to him even more.

'Is this okay?' he breathlessly asked as he hitched her leg up

'It's...it's...' she looked deeply into his dancing eyes and 
smiled 'it's wonderful Mulder'

In a moment she relaxed and he crouched slightly to get his shaft 
in front of her.  She slowly guided him inside and he felt her hot 
wet insides pull on him as he entered.  Turning so she could place 
her back against the shower wall Mulder pumped slowly and 
methodically into her watching her face soften and her mouth 
open wider with each press into her core.  She was even more 
beautiful than he remembered when she shuttered and her nails 
grabbed at his back.  Her orgasm was silent as usual but not 
without the mind-blowing effect of a million emotions passing 
over her face in an instant. He loved that in a moment 
she felt everything all at once and it was because of him, 
because of what he was doing to her, in her.  

'Oh god Mulder' was all she could strain to say as he started to 
wildly pump into her, seeking his own release, hoping he wasn't 
hurting her tailbone as he pushed her up against the shower wall.  
Thinking of her well-being he moved his hand lower down her back to 
cushion her from the wall, hoping he could minimize the impact.  
When he came it was almost unnerving.  He had not come inside her 
in so long it was such an all-encompassing feeling of happiness and 
fulfillment he almost lost his balance and brought the two of them 
to the ground.  

His groan of 'Sc...Sc...Scullllyyyy' was all his body would allow 
as all his other energy was being drained from his body.  

He slowly lowered her feet into the tub and released his death-grip 
that he was sure was now going to leave bruises. Slowly placing 
kissed on her shoulder he lazily rubbed circles on her hip.

'Way to surprise a guy Scully' he snickered half out of breath

'I aim to please' she countered as he ran her hands over his 
chest

He lunged in for a kiss and was greeted by a tender, soft smooch 
that almost made him dizzy again.


'I just need one final rinse and this is all yours' he said as he 
turned toward the shower spray reaching for a bar of soap

He quickly did a final scrub and rinse and stepped out of the 
shower to allow Scully the time to clean up.

As he exited the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist 
he felt like the luckiest man alive.  Not only did he have a woman 
he loved who surprised him in the shower with mind-blowing sex 
but she was also willing to go on the run with him and give up 
everything to be with him.  Yes, Mulder felt like a lucky man.  
A lucky man who needed to locate clean underwear in one of the 
many bags that littered the floor of their room.  

The night prior the pizza delivery guy had arrived so quickly he 
hadn't time to do anything but go commando but now underwear 
was in order.  He started to riffle through the various Wal-Mart 
and Target bags when he spotted it.  A sight that sucked all the 
breath out of his body and caused him to feel sick to his stomach 
all at once.  

Like a flash of lightening he now knew why Scully had reacted 
by staying away in the shower as he advanced upon her.  That 
her intention as she hopped into the shower was not intercourse 
but to pleasure him.  Why in this moment he felt like the biggest 
asshole on the face of the earth.  Why she was probably in the 
shower right now rinsing herself out for all she was worth hoping 
that this time was not the time.  Not again.  As Mulder stared 
at the large box of condoms he now held in his hand he wanted 
to go back in time and take back what they had just done.  He 
wanted to give her peace of mind that, for the next month, he 
knew she would not have.  He threw the box of condoms across 
the room and it bounced off the wall with a smack.

**********************************

Scully emerged from her shower wrapped tightly in a towel to find 
Mulder sitting on the bed holding his face in his hands.  Before 
opening her mouth to ask what was the matter she glanced around 
to see a large box of dented condoms sitting on the floor by 
the door.

'Why didn't you stop me?' he asked from behind his hands

'You talk as if I had no say Mulder.  Please remember that I 
was there too' she countered as she crossed toward him and 
placed a gentle hand on his head

'Why didn't we stop? I forgot.  I honestly did Scully' he said 
from behind pleading eyes as he raised his face to her

'Maybe I wanted to forget for a moment too Mulder' she replied 
as she sat next to him and took one of his hands into her lap

'I don't understand Scully'

'Mulder, I got into that shower to help you...relieve some 
tension' she bowed her head as she spoke 'but once things got 
going I found it harder and harder to resist.  I really 
wanted you as much as you wanted me.  I missed having you 
inside me as much as you missed being there.  When you 
started to talk about how much you wanted me, needed me, 
dreamt about this moment all the months we were away from 
each other well...how could I?  How could I stop it? How 
could remind you of ...' she couldn't finish the sentence.

'William'

'Yes'


'You wanted to forget?'

'Just for a moment.  I wanted to not think about why we had 
to use birth control---to prevent what I wanted  more than 
anything in the world, had, and gave up.  We can't ever get 
pregnant again Mulder.  I can't go through that, I won't.  
But in that moment with you I just wanted to forget'

'What do we do now Scully?'

'I'm going to look and see if there is a free clinic in the 
phone book.  I'll see if I can anonymously get a morning after 
pill or even a package of birth control pills.  I can give 
myself a double dose and it'll have the affect of a morning 
after pill.  If those aren't available we'll just have to see.  
But it's not my ovulation time so I really don't think there 
is much risk.' she looked at him sincerely 'Honestly, I don't.  
But if I turn out to be pregnant I won't have that baby' 

Mulder placed his other hand on top of Scully's and squarely 
looked her in the eye. 'I support whatever you want to do 
Scully.  But you are right, we need to use birth control 
from now on.  It's not worth the risk'

'For an MD I've been pretty stupid about birth control' she 
chastised herself

'Before...' he started 'before William we didn't know it 
could happen.  That's not stupid, it's just a fact.  Then, 
when I came back and you were pregnant why would we need 
birth control?  The deed was done'

Scully chuckled at the remembrance of the few times they 
had engaged in awkward late stage pregnancy 
sex.

'Now, we screwed up in the heat of the moment, but I promise 
you we won't screw up again.  I'd say, compared to most people 
we have taken far fewer risks' he ended with a pat on her hand

'Thanks for the pep talk Mulder' she said as she shoved her 
shoulder into the side of his.

With the talk came forgiveness.  Forgiveness of themselves, 
forgiveness of each other.  Mulder stood to get dressed and 
walked over to pick up the box.  

'Large enough pack Scully? How much action do you expect?' 
he commented trying to lighten the mood.

'That's just one box.  You haven't found the others?' she 
asked as she rose from the bed and padded into the bathroom to 
brush her hair

Mulder smiled to himself.  She had prepared a very thorough 
list while in the truck.

They were dressed quickly and spent the next hour in companionable 
silence unpacking all the gear and packing it in the backpacks.  
Mulder took all the wrapping to the dumpster behind the motel and 
they swept the room for anything left behind.  Scully had located 
a free clinic where she could anonymously get the morning after 
pill and they left the room in search of the truck.  While walking 
there Mulder remembered the rain and hoped it wasn't sunk into 
the mud.  His wish was granted when the truck easily pulled out of 
the mud and along the rough trail scratching up the windows and cab 
as it emerged.  

Again he waited and held his breath as Scully went into the clinic.  
He hoped the wait was short, the questions were scarce, and the 
remedy easy to get.  He let out the breath he didn't realize he 
was holding two hours later when she emerged from the building.

'Everything okay?' he quickly asked as she got into the cab

'Fine' she mumbled as she reached for her belt


'What do you mean fine?  I'm going to need more than that Scully' 
he countered, anxious for news

'I got a long lecture on safe sex, had to demonstrate how to pull 
a condom onto a wooden shaft, and was bombarded with pamphlets 
about STDs.  It was fine Mulder'

'And?'

'And the nurse thinks I got drunk and had an unprotected encounter 
with a guy from a bar who was gone by morning.' she paused 
'I feel dirty all over just saying it again.' 

'Sorry about that' he apologized for the awkwardness she had to 
endure

'It's okay.' she conceded 'I took the morning after pill in her 
office and promised to come in for STD tests in a couple of 
days'

'Did you have to fill out any forms or give any ID?'

'Nope, that's why it's anonymous Mulder'

'That makes me a very happy man'

'I'm glad.  Now can we find a lake to dump this truck into?'

'Ahh, you're sweet-talking me again Scully'

*******************************

They found the perfect lake.  Deserted and remote.  The 
hike back to civilization would be hard, but it wasn't one 
they planned on doing for a while.  According to the 
cartography maps Scully picked up, the lake's depth was 
about 30 metres off a northern ridge so the SUV would be 
nice and deep with no chance of peeking up over the crest.  
Mulder figured at a good rolling speed the truck would 
launch 20 feet, enough to clear the embankment.  

After clearing the SUV off all signs of themselves Scully 
and Mulder piled the camping gear under a tree and started 
the arduous task of loading the truck with rocks.  A little 
extra weight would keep it sunk.  As would the slowly 
leaking tires they were going to put holes into just before 
the launch. 

By dusk the SUV was ready, Mulder and Scully were sweaty, 
and if they didn't launch the truck now they would have 
to wait until first light. Mulder backed it up the 
embankment and Scully punctured the tires.  They had already 
drained the truck of gasoline so the water they were going 
to be using for the next few weeks wouldn't get polluted.  
He stepped from the SUV, threw it in drive and they watched 
as it rolled down the hill and hit the water with a whoosh!

Mulder walked over and put his sweaty arm around Scully's 
equally sweaty waist.  They watched as the truck floated 
for a minute and then started to take in water from its 

open windows.  The rocks caused it to sink quickly and as 
the sun set a burp rose from the water as the roof went 
under the surface.

"Who says you don't learn anything from the Duke boys?" 
Mulder quipped as Scully started to walk down the hill 
stripping off her sweaty shirt and carrying it in her hand

"I feel disgusting Mulder," she said as she got to the 
water's edge. "I need a bath." she huffed as she started 
to remove her shoes.

"Sounds like a plan," he stated as he walked toward her 
"but it better be quick. It'll get cold now that the 

sun has dropped.  We haven't even set up out tent yet"

"I know.  I just really need to get clean first.  Can you 
grab the camping soap from the small backpack?"

Mulder watched her strip down to her naked beauty and wade 
into the water before he moved again.  He was not going to 
give up that sight for any soap.  Once she was submerged 
and the show was over, he quickly moved into action and 
joined her in the water.

Scully swam over to him once he entered and grabbed for 
the soap.

"Ah, Ah Ah." he tisked "the pleasure is all mine" he 
added as he soaped up his hands

"Mulder, this is supposed to be a quick bath" Scully 
groaned as she turned her back to him ready to be 
scrubbed

Instead he reached around and soaped up her breasts "We 
must be thorough, Scully" he grinned 

She snickered at his comments and allowed her breasts to be 
thoroughly cleaned, along with her stomach, her thighs and 
her ass.  When he took his time on her lower back a chill 
ran over her body.

"Chilly Scully?" he whispered in her ear

"Just a little," she said in all seriousness "Can I finish 
the rest?  I really need to get some clothes on.  I think 
I got too much sun today"

"Sure" he said handing over the soap. " I'll enjoy the view" 
he commented as he paddled around on his back

"I think I'm the one who's getting more of a view Mulder" she 
said while averting her eyes.

"Who knew there would be a full moon?  It really does light 
up the water.  I can see you blushing from here" he quipped 
as he paddled past her again

Scully looked down and quickly finished her scrub.

"Here you go Mulder" she said as she handed him the soap and 
paddled to shore

He looked back at the sky full of stars and smiled.  There would 
be two full moons in a minute.  He turned his eyes to the shore 
and was greeted with an emerging white ass coming from the water 
walking away from him.

"Don't be too long" she called over her shoulder

"Not with you that far away and that naked" he muttered and 
quickly finished his bath.

When he arrived to 'camp' Scully was fully clothed in sweats, taking 
a tent out of the bag and muttering to herself.

"I'm going to hoist the food bag up a tree 20 yards from here and 
then I'll help you with that" Mulder told 
her as he pulled on some clothes

"It's supposed to be colour-coded.  Insert blue to blue, yellow 
to yellow etc.  But I can't seem to find another yellow piece" 
she said as she sorted through the tent bag with a flashlight

Mulder grabbed the food bag and some rope and walked away looking 
for just the right tree.

"Found it!" she said rather loudly, obviously happy with herself.

After securing the bag her returned to find Scully with a pitched 
tent.  She was just securing the final tie as 
he approached.

"Wow!" he commented "you are good, Scully"

"Thanks" she said with an air of satisfaction "it'll do for 
the night, in the morning we can scout out a better spot and 
really secure it to the ground"

"I'm beat" he said, suddenly feeling all the work he had put 
in today.

"So am I, let's get these mats and sleeping bags set up 
before I fall asleep right here on the ground"

Scully placed two thick foam mats inside and started to haul camping 
gear in to place around the tent.  

While she did that, Mulder zipped the two sleeping bags together.  

He was wondering how long it would take before he was caught.  

"I am really happy I got the more expensive tent" Scully commented 
as she emerged from the opening "it is lighter to carry, easy to 
set up, and much roomier"

"Yeah, great tent" Mulder commented as he tried to squish the 
conjoined sleeping bags past her into the tent and lay them flat

"Especially considering how much time we could be using this as our 
home" Scully continued

"Great moon roof" Mulder commented from inside the tent

Scully stuck her head inside to find Mulder lying in the joined 
sleeping bags starring at the stars.

"I see you have been a busy boy" she noted with her raised eyebrow 
to the two sleeping bags zippered together

"Body heat Scully.  We don't have a fire so we need to keep each 
other warm.  Get your mind out of the gutter" he countered with 
a grin on his face

"Oh, I don't think it was my mind that was in the gutter, Mulder.  
Seriously though, I really need a full nights sleep, I think I 
have a little sun stroke"

"I'm just joking.  Come to bed Scully.  I'll be a good boy"

With that she crawled into the tent, zippered it shut, and cuddled 
up to him.

"Jesus, you are nice a toasty Mulder"

"I aim to please" he smiled in the darkness

And with one arm firmly wrapped around her they fell asleep in their 
new home, in their new life, together.

**************

Mulder and Scully had spent the last 3 weeks camping in 
New Mexico.  After finding a better place to place 
'base camp' they had settled into a routine of hiking, 
swimming, reading, building fires and sleeping.  If it 
was a vacation it would have been quite enjoyable, but 
it was not.  They were always aware of dangers, one bad 
fall and one of them could end up in serious condition, 
one rattle snake bite had dire consequences.  Although 
they were both very careful, and had not encountered a 
single person the entire time they were there, Mulder 
still felt uneasy and was leery of all odd noises.  
Now, was one of those times.  

They were asleep in the tent and Scully was curled around 
him drooling on his chest, soaking his T-shirt through.  
Mulder had been awoken by the snap of a twig.  He heard 
what he thought could have been a 'beep' or possibly a 
shrill 'eek'.  Immediately he was alert.  His ears were 
suddenly in tune with all other noises around him.  He 
quietly removed himself from under Scully and grabbed for 
the ax he kept holstered by their feet.  There was another 
twig breaking and what sounded like air being let out of 
a tire.  Something or someone was outside their tent.  
Mulder hoped it was an animal.  

He grabbed the flashlight, quickly unzipped the tent 
opening and jumped from the tent hoping to surprise anything 
or anyone nearby.  There was nothing.  He scanned the 
immediate area. No one.  He walked around the tent, no 
prints of any kind except their own.  

He was standing with his back to the tent trying to see 
better into the brush when a hand fell on his shoulder. 
Instantly he swiveled and knocked the person down with his 
flashlight.

"Mulder, what the hell!" Scully yelled from the ground

He looked down and saw her laying on the ground holding her 
hands over her head to prevent further attack.

"Oh shit!  Scully" he said as he dropped the flashlight 
and reached for her

Yanking her to her feet he immediately started to run his 

hands over her, looking for any sign that he had hurt her. 
She brushed him away and stepped sideways, away from him 
and his probing hands.

"Just leave me alone for a second" she muttered as she 
turned from him

"Are you hurt?  Did I get you with the flashlight?" he 
asked as he leaned in her direction not wanting any distance 

between them

"I'm fine, and yes, you did hit me with the flashlight.  
Right in the chest" she said matter-of-factly

"I'm sorry Scully." he offered again "do you want me to 
get the cold pack from the water?"

"What I want right now is to go back to sleep.  What 
were you doing out here anyways?" she asked brushing 
herself off

"I thought I heard a noise" he offered

"Every morning you give me the low-down on all the noises 
you think you hear throughout the night.  Are you telling 
me that you get up to investigate them all?"

"Not all of them" he shrugged looking at his shoes.

"Not all of them..." she mutters, obviously exasperated by 
him "Mulder have you ever thought that it was your mind 
playing tricks on you.  That what you most fear, being 
caught, is haunting you at night?"

"Logically I know this but, it's so quiet out here.  I 
guess my imagination gets the better of me most nights"

She looks at him in wonder knowing that this will not be 
the last night she is awoken with him searching for noises.

"Mulder, let's go to bed"

With this she crawls into the tent and Mulder notes she is 
favoring her right side, being cautious with it.  He 
immediately feels worse than before.  He crawls in after 
her hoping to do something to make her feel better tomorrow 
but is unsure of what that is.

They settle next to each other again and Mulder wraps his 
arm around her, hoping to reassure her that he will always 
love and protect her (even from himself).

They lay in silence for 10 minutes and he can tell she's 
not asleep because her breathing has not slowed.

"Scully?"

"Hmm?"

"You still awake"

"Wide"

"I guess all this excitement tonight does not make for a 
good bedtime routine" he chuckles trying to lighten the mood

"No," she sighs "it does not Mulder"

"How about I try and help you relax?" he asks

"I don't really feel like a backrub" she counters honestly

"That's not what I had in mind" he admits as his hand roams 
to the inside of her thighs "you just need to lay back and 
relax" 

"Ohh... that sounds nice" she purrs as his hand moves to her 
mound

He slips his left hand under her yoga pants to discover she 
is commando. 

"You been holding out on me tonight, Scully?"

"They are all wet.  I did a bunch of laundry today, remember?"

"Ahhh, yes.  It is all coming back now...the panty tree..."

"It was the best I could do for a clothes line" she countered 
slurring her words as he drew circles in her folds

"Scully, I don't really care about the clothesline, I'm just 
happy you are soo...accessible" he hums into her ear and nips 
at her lobe

He unzips their sleeping bag with his free hand and the cool 
night air snaps towards them.  Slowly he slides the yoga pants 
down and removes them from her legs.  The smooth silkiness of 
her calves causes him to catch his breath.  

He parts her thighs and goes back to drawing slow circles with 
his finger while he kisses her thigh.  When he sees her start 
to grind against him he knows it's time to enter her.  With one 
smooth stroke he slides two fingers inside her, arching them 
upwards as he enters.  He starts to kiss her pubic hair and 
stroke that spot where her thigh meets her pubic bone.  Scully 
has always turned to mush whenever he stimulated that particular 
region of her body.  

Mulder was right in his assessment as she starts to grind 
harder against his hand.  

"Ohhhhh...." she sighs soft and slow, obviously happy with 
his work

"Just relax and let go Scully" he coaxes as he continues to 
slide fingers and out while his mouth works her clit nipping 
at it with soft teeth.  For almost ten minutes Mulder keeps 
up the gentle pace of warming her up. Nipping, sucking, 
driving his fingers in and out.

He knows it will take her a while to come but he's happy to 
take a nice long ride there. He gently slips his fingers out 
and covers her with his entire mouth.  The heat from him is 
overwhelming to her.

"Oh, God Mulder" she utters through gasps


His tongue circles her and his lips suck at her folds.  She is 
trying not to buck against him too hard but her body is 
betraying her.  His licking and sucking is making her wet 
and causing her entire vagina to flex in and out.  Her face 
is contorted in ecstasy and her hands are clutching at the 
sleeping bag below her.  Mulder thinks that he is a very lucky 
man to see this sight time and time again.  He knows she is 
now close.  Then suddenly she stills.

"Huuhhh..." she breathlessly releases her air and with that 
comes into his mouth squirting her juices all over him

He takes her juices inside his mouth, surprised at the result, 
but happy with the outcome.

Time passes as she pants her way back to reality and then 
raises her head to look at him as his head still bobs against 
her, sucking her engorged folds.

"Oh my God Mulder" she says as she looks at him with her 
mouth wide open  

He lifts his head and smiles at her as he takes a hand to 
wipe his mouth, "that has never happened before" 

"I know" she stammers "ever"

"Wow, Scully.  I'm honored" he says as a grin runs along 
his face

"What were you doing?"

"Nothing that I haven't done before." he admits as he pulls 
himself up her body to be at her eye level 

"Well, it was very...intense" she says as a blush rises from 
her neck

"That it was" he strains as he tries to keep his erection away 
from her leg

"That it was" she counters as she reaches down for the hardness 
she knows is there

"Oh, Scully....I know you are feeling like a jellyfish right now...

you don't have to..." he pants as she starts to run her hand 
along his erection on top of his pants

"Mulder, I am not promising much, I can barely feel my legs" 
she snickers "but I want to feel you inside 
me"

"Scully, I can take care of business, you don't have to..."

"Mulder, I want to, but I am quickly losing my will to stay a
wake, if you want this you better get moving" she honestly 
tells him

"I am not a stupid man Scully, I won't look at gift-horse in 
the mouth"

"Mulder am I a horse?"

He quickly realizes he said the wrong thing "No, no, Scully, 
what I meant was..."

"Gotcha" she mumbles from beside him

He chuckles to himself and reaches for his sweatpants, quickly 
pulling them from his waist and releasing his straining erection.

"Don't forget the condom" she murmurs as she adjusts herself

"Oh, yeah" he mutters in disappointment, knowing that it is 
shitty, but necessary

He fumbles around the tent looking for the toiletries backpack 
and the box that is quickly getting more and more empty.  Finding 
the box he riffles into it ripping a condom from the row and 
putting it to his teeth to 
tear open the package.

"A little desperate Mulder?" she asks from across the tent

"I want to get to you before you fall asleep on me" he counters 
as he spits the corner onto the floor of the 
tent


"Yes, that is usually advisable" 

He is now sheathing his cock with the latex that will serve as 
a barrier between him and the woman he loves.  It makes the sex 
less enjoyable but takes away the worry of what a pregnancy would 
do to Scully.  Looking at the condom on his penis he can't help 
but hate it.  It represents what he can no longer give Scully--
a family.  He truly despises this thin piece of plastic and can't 
wait for the day when he won't have to use them anymore.  For the 
day when during the most amazing act of love he won't be reminded 
of his inadequacies.

"I didn't want to waste one of the few condoms we had left on me 
jerking myself off"

"Mulder, there is a whole other jumbo box" she chuckles 

"Like I said, they are wasting away" he grins at her as he climbs 
on top

"That is..." she stops as he enters her "... a bit of an 
exaggeration, no?"

"Until we get things more permanent, there can never be enough 
condoms" he growls as he thrusts into her and grinds against her

The statement is true but it makes him feel just a little bit sad.  
Scully deserves better than this.  

Just as he starts to feel a little self-loathing she raises her 
legs around his waist and pushes herself further into him. Looking 
down on her he sees she is smiling and her eyes are gleaming.  
She looks like the cat who swallowed the canary.

"Found your legs?" he whispers

"For you, anything is possible" she whispers back

***********************************

After over a month in the wilderness of New Mexico Mulder and 
Scully were running out of supplies and it was time to head into 
town for more. They had packed up their gear and once the water 
for their trip was boiled they were headed off. 

Mulder sat and watched Scully.  She was sitting on the grass 
reading a book and letting her newly dyed and cut brown hair 
dry in the sun.

"How's the colour look?" she asked without looking up from the 
page

"Different" he countered with a hint of sadness

"You sound so enthusiastic" she said as she put the book down to 
her chest and looked at him "actually, less than enthusiastic"

"What can I say Scully? I like you the way you are, naturally" 

"Well Mulder, I hate to burst your bubble, but my red hair has 
not been natural for years"

He laughed at her admission knowing it was true but also knowing 
that his Scully, the Scully he knew and loved, was always going 
to be a fiery redhead deep down inside.   

"So the brown isn't to your liking?" she asked fishing for a 
compliment as she ran a hand through her hair checking the 
dryness  "I think it suits my complexion better than the red"

Mulder quickly checked the water and walked over to sit next to 
her on the grass.  He sat so their hips were even with each 
other and just touching.  Placing one hand on her bare knee he 
sighed.

"I just wish that was one thing about yourself you didn't have 
to give up."

"Mulder..."

"No wait, let me finish" he starts as he raises a hand to ask 
for her silence "you gave up your family, your job, everything 
you own, your security, your name, hell Scully, for the rest 
of your life everyone is going to call you Irene" for this he 
got a snicker from her 

"Scully, you've given up so much for me, don't you ever wonder 
if it's all worth it?" he asks in all sincerity

She carefully lays her book on the ground next to her and turns 
to face him completely, squarely looking him in the eyes.  Legs 
tangle and her two hands grasp the sides of his jaw and hold 
him in place so he can see nothing but her.

"Not for one minute." she answers plainly "Mulder, I don't mind 
the brown hair, the lack of a job or even that my new name is 
Irene, what I do mind is your guilt, it surfaces in little ways 
everyday and I want that to stop"

Mulder looks at her knowing exactly what she is talking about.

"Scully, it's just that..." 

"Just nothing.  From now on Mulder, no guilt.  I chose you.  I 
chose this.  I know what that means.  I don't regret those 
choices and I hate feeling like you think I should. We are both 
adults--there are no victims of circumstance here.  I don't 
question your choices.  So, don't question mine"

"Scully, I can't promise no guilt, but I can promise I will try
and stop the self-flagellation." he snickers   "Sound like a 
plan?"

"Sounds like a plan." she says as she leans in for a quick kiss 
to seal the deal "I do have one question though."

"Shoot"

"Why Irene?"

"Ohh," he snickers keeping the joke to himself "you mean out 
of all the names in the world to choose from, why did I pick 
Irene?"

"That's what I mean" she says growing impatient

"Irene was the name of this cute little strawberry blonde-
haired girl that I had a crush on when I was 8"

"Oh, that explains it"

"Explains what?" he scoffs

"Why Irene" she begins "we were involved at the time and..."

"Oh, no Scully" he interrupts "I picked Irene long before 
that"

"What?" she asks obviously confused "Irene and Gary Hewitt 
didn't exist until..."

"That is where you are wrong Scully," he interrupts "Irene and 
Gary Hewitt have existed for over 7 years"

"What?" she asks startled at the revelation


"The Lone Gunman helped me create them over 7 years ago.  They 
had been building a file under those names until..." he stops 
not wanting to talk about the death of their dear friends

"Mulder, what do you mean 'building a file'?"

"You know, employment history, credit history, banking records, 
that sort of thing. So, if we eventually needed the ID it 
wouldn't be like these two people just fell off the back of a 
turnip truck"

"So, you are saying 7 years ago you prepared for the possibility 
that we may need false identities at some point?" she asks 
mystified at the information

"Well, we wouldn't be in such a good financial situation as we 
are now, and I didn't buy the house until last year, but yeah, 
we were good to go"

"I'm sorry Mulder, I'm trying to keep up here." she pauses to 
gather her thoughts "Seven years ago, if needed, we would have 
all the ID required to fall off the face of the earth and never 
look back?  Just the two of us? Posing as husband and wife? 
Seven years ago?"

"Yep"

"How could you be so sure seven years ago that I would have 
agreed to this?  That I would trust you to do this with you? 
That I would agree to pose as your wife?"

"I didn't.  I just hoped that if the situation called for it 
you would trust me enough to know that I would do anything 
to keep you safe.  And," he paused to grin "I really hoped 
you wouldn't deck me for making you my wife without your 
knowledge"

"Seven years ago I might have"

"Well, then I guess I'm glad we didn't have to do this seven 
years ago"

"Mulder," Scully starts as she presses the tips of her fingers 
to her temples "you still amaze me sometimes"

"You want to know amazing Scully, wait until you see the 
house.  It's crazy what you can order online now"

"Oh, god" she groans as she rises to check on the boiling 
water.  They have a long hike ahead of them.


***************************

He was having that dream again.  Knowingly having that dream, 
conscious of  what was happening between his two characters.  
What had happened many years ago for the first time and happened 
again and again in his dreams over the years.  

They are in Kroner and they have just attended a high school 
reunion.  Not theirs of course, that would be too normal.  After 
seeing their case close itself Mulder had intended to leave when 
she grabbed his hand and stopped his exit.  He turned to look 
at her and saw a faint shy smile spread across her face.  She 
tilted her head to the dance floor and silently communicated the 
need to dance at that moment.  They walked to the dance floor 
and Mulder took her lightly in his arms and they began to sway 
to the music.  In his dream it's Elvis's voice droning "I can't 
help falling in love with you..." but in reality it was some 

Bee Gees song that he can't remember the words to.  She is 
smiling and lighter than air.  He dares to break the silence.

"What Scully, are you getting all sentimental on me?"

"Maybe I am Mulder" she says "would that be so bad?"

He smiles and looks in her eyes "No, I like sentimental"

She snuggles in closer to him and he wonders why she is acting 
so affectionately.  Was the punch spiked?

"Mulder?"

"Hmm?"

"Don't you find it strange that two romantically-retarded 
people just played match-maker?"

"You might be romantically-retarded Scully but I, I, have it 
goin' on"

She pulls back and looks at his face seriously.  In his 
dream the pained look on her face is not as hurt as it was 
that night.  I his dream he responds to her pain much 
quicker than it took him in real life.  

"See, I am dancing with a beautiful woman, who says I 
don't have romance in my life?"


She breathes for the first time and leans into him again.

"May I remind you Mulder, you are dancing with you partner"

"Yeah but.." 

He is interrupted by someone at the microphone.  They pull 
apart and as he focuses on the announcement for door prizes 
being made by a very drunk MC he does not notice Scully 
slip away. When he turns the room is whirl of disco lights 
and darkness with no hint of red hair.  He looks around 
thinking she just went to the washroom and patiently waits 
by the door for her return.  After 10 minutes he gets 
someone to check the washroom and she is not there.  
Another quick scan of the room reveals she has left.  
His stomach lurches and in his dream he holds himself 
together and calmly leaves the reunion.  In reality, he 
practically trips over his feet trying to get to the car.  

He sees her there, standing with her back to the car frame, 
looking up at the stars and holding her jacket tightly to 
herself.  

"I thought I lost you" he says out of breath as he 
approaches.

"I just needed some air.  I needed to think" she replies 
not looking at him

"Think about what?" he asks not knowing where the 
conversation is going

"Us" she replies honestly 

In his dream he saunters toward her confident in what he is 
going to do.  In reality he shifts from foot to foot, weighing 
his options for a few minutes starring at her feet while 
she stares at the stars.  He takes a few steps forward and 
finds himself towering in front of her.  Her gaze now resting 
on him as her head tilts back.  He leans in and places a clumsy 
kiss on her lips.  He should have thought about his intent 
before he puckered up.  As it was, the kiss started off bold 
and ended soft as she barely responded to his overture. In 
his dream they are all passion.

He pulls back and knows he has a look of horror on his face.  
He has just fucked up big time.  But then a smile spreads 
across her lips and a chuckle escapes from her mouth.

"That's not exactly the response I was looking for" he chides 
himself

"Well kiss me somewhere private and you may get a better one" 
she counters

Just then Mulder notices that headlights are turning on all 
around them.  The Reunion is out and people are everywhere 
and  getting into their cars.

"So, it's a question of privacy and not act?" he asks 
wanting to know things are clear between them

"Get in the car Mulder.  Take me back to our motel" she 
counters as she slides out from under him and walks over 
to the passenger side of the car.

In his dream the 10 minutes of silence spent in the car 
where he keeps stealing quick glances at her, and she 
fiddles with the radio to distract herself, takes about 
10 seconds.  They arrive at the motel all professional 
and courteous.  Opening the door to the room they are 
sharing for the night and flicking on the window air 
conditioner as they relieve themselves of their shoes 
and holsters.  When he turns from locking the door she 
is directly behind him.

"Try again" she says

In both his dream and reality this kiss is perfect.  
Passionate and simple.  Hands roam, clothes become askew 
and breathing is labored.  They stand exploring each 
others bodies and mouths for what feels like hours but 
in reality is minutes.  She loosens his tie and pulls it 
from him, he starts to back her toward the bed as he 
untucks her shirt.  

The two of them are acting like horny teenagers 
disengaging another of the barrier of clothing but 
unsure of their next move.  Their kissing is intense 
and her skin is flushed all over her torso.  Her shirt 
and skirt are pooled on the floor.  As his hands roam 
the delicate lace of her panties she undoes his pants 
and lets them drop to the floor with a thump from his 
belt buckle.  

He gently moves her onto the bed towering over her 
body and in awe of her beauty.  Kissing his way along 
her jaw she starts to emit soft breathing sounds of 
happiness.  In his dream he spends much more time listening 
to those sounds.  In reality, his head is going a mile a 
minute and he's trying to think of something to say, 
something to do, that will show her how much she means 
to him.  That to him, this isn't just sex.  As she 
slides her hand under the waistband of his boxers 
all thoughts are lost.

She is gently running her hand along his shaft, taking 
in his hardness.  The hardness that has been present 
since he was instructed to take her back to the motel.  
She is kissing him again and exploring his mouth with 
her tongue.  Her beautiful, very lively, tongue.  He 
removes her bra and starts to suck on her nipples.  For 
this he receives a low moan that seems to rise from her 
core.  He makes a short mental note to spend more time 
there in the future.  She is kissing his chest and 
running her hands up his back having abandoned his 
penis, knowing too much attention will end this 
escapade far too soon.  

In his dream, this foreplay goes on to the point of 
near exhaustion.  In reality, she has indicted he 
remove his boxers by tugging at them with her one 
hand and he is inside her wet vagina before he has 
time to process  the thought.  They are rocking in 
unison, her legs wrapped fully around his waist an
up against her ass and thighs.  She opens her mouth 
to speak several times but words are lost.  He 
grunts in return.

"Mulder, I.." her words fade as she is overtaken 
by orgasm and begins to pant

He wants to think she was going to say "I love 
you".  In his dream she sometimes does.  In 
reality, she was probably warning him of her 
impending orgasm.  

In a wave her vagina palpitates around his shaft 
and he finally releases what he has been holding 
on to.  He spills himself into her and moans her 
name as he comes.  In his dream it is filled with 
fervor and purpose, a loud "Scully" as he comes.  
In reality, it sounded more like a thoughtful 
prayer a soft "Scu, Scu, Scully" as he closed 
his eyes and let it wash over him.  

They lay together joined for a while and then just 

holding each other longer.  In his dream he has 
beautiful words to say to her about his love for 
her, his willingness to do anything to make this 
work.  In reality they both peacefully fall asleep 
and when he wakes up in the morning she is in the 
shower.  It is always then that he chooses to end 
his dream.  The months that follow Kroner are 
difficult and their relationship doesn't work 
as smoothly as he would have it in his dreams.





Mulder shifts in their sleeping bag and looks at 
the woman drooling on his shoulder.  They are camping 

only an hours hike from town.  Tomorrow they are 
going to buy a few supplies and head off on different 
buses.  The end location is the same but it will be 
several days before he sees Scully again.  They 
will camp in Georgia next.  Staying there for 
another month.  Maybe after Georgia they can go 
to their house in Virginia.  He's hoping that is 
the case because camping is starting to wear on 
both of them.  

He swats at a mosquito as he tries to settle 
back into sleep. Scully shifts and through hazy, 
sleepy, eyes looks at him.

"You awake?" she asks

"Just thinking.  Go back to sleep" he says as he 
gently pats her head

"About what?" she groggily inquires

"Us" he answers honestly

She opens her eyes and softly smiles as if 
remembering a similar conversation many years 
ago.  Leaning into him she kisses him slowly but 
intensely while she runs her hand up his chest.

"You know Mulder, it'll be a few days before we 

see each other again..."

"That it will Scully, that it will" he replies 
as he rolls over toward her his erection brushing 
up against her leg

She pulls him closer to her, squeezing the last 
bit of space out from between them and he knows 
that there will be more memories to be made and 
more dreams in the future.

*****************************

She sheathed his cock with the latex and gently, lovingly, 
cupped his balls when she got to the bottom.

"There's only a couple left, we'll have to buy more in 
Georgia" she said as she laid back

"No, we'll have to do something more permanent in Georgia" 

"Mulder, we're not even considering a vasectomy until I can do 
it in a sterile environment" she said as she rose to her elbows

He leaned over her forcing her to lay back down and grabbed her 
hands and pulled them over her head, pinning her in place.

"Mulder.." she began again

"Scully, I can't do this anymore and it's not just because it 
takes away all sensation.." he said as he thrust into her.

"I know, I know" she caught her breath with each thrust "but 
it's only a couple more months at the most and then we can 
exorcise this demon once and for all"

He continued to thrust inside of her as she rocked her hips 
against him and wrapped her legs around his waist. She was 
starting to pant, a sure sign he was hitting just the right 
spot on her cervix.

"Ok" he sighed as he nipped her neck

"Ok?" she panted for clarification

"Ok Scully, a couple more months and then I'm handing my 
manhood over to you"

"Haven't you always?" she chuckled as he leaned in for a 
kiss




Just then a light flicked on two rows in front of Mulder and 
he was pulled out of the best part of that memory.  It had 
just been two days ago, but after 4 bus transfers it was 
getting harder and harder to sleep and easier and easier to 
have waking sex dreams.  Apparently he wasn't the only one 
who could not sleep in the middle of the night.  The man 
was opening a book when his girlfriend took offense

"Can't you just do this for me, and sleep like a normal 
person for once?" she chided

"Why do you have to make this personal?  It's always about 
you!" he snapped back

"Because it is personal.  I need my sleep before the reunion 
tomorrow and you just don't give a damn about me" she hissed 
back

With that the man angrily flicked off the light turned in his 
seat so his back was toward her and mumbled "I'm always the 
bad guy" as the couple went silent.




Mulder frowned as he remembered back to a time he and Scully 
were with the Lone Gunman:

"You're making this personal" he had said

"Because it is personal Mulder, because without work, personal 
interest is all I have...and if you take that away from me, 
then I can't help you anymore"

Her words had taken his breath away; it was the closest she 
had ever come to admitting they were in a relationship to 
others.  It was an issue they disagreed about.

Since Kroner she had kept their relationship hidden like some 
dirty little secret.  It's not like they'd been living together, 
hell, except for a handful for times they'd hardly been 
together in the biblical sense.  But Scully had gone out of 
her way to distance herself from him so everyone could see.  
They'd spent less time together, she'd acted cold toward him 
when others were around, had even taken a case separate from 
him in New York.  

Even their sexual encounters were calculated.  Never on the 
road, only in the daytime when it would be plausible for them 
to be working at each others apartments, and no evidence left 
behind.  Hell, it was almost like she brought an evidence 
team to clean up in the bedroom after they had had sex.  

In his heart he felt like a male prostitute.  But it was too 
soon in their relationship, he was too needy for any contact 
with her, and he was too much of a coward to face a conversation 
that may end this.  He knew that she knew he wasn't happy.  
He also knew that, on some level, she didn't care.  This was 
all she could give right now--take it or leave it.  He greedily 
accepted it.    

Mulder also knew that his history with Diana was not helping 
the already fragile house of cards their new relationship was 
existing on.  Scully wanted to know everything about his past 
and current relationship with Diana but was too proud to ask. 
He, in some passive-aggressive move, didn't bother to divulge 
any details.  In his own mind he knew it was the only control 
he had over their relationship.  

During this time the sex had been good but also filled with 
anger.  It was almost as if they were taking out their 
frustrations on the other person in the bedroom.  Their bodies 
were working out what their minds and hearts wouldn't allow.  
She had a heart she refused to hand over and he had a past he 
refused to share.  He knew that they loved each other; they 
were just too fucked up to take the risks necessary to make 
it work.  






Suddenly a light flicked on two rows ahead of Mulder pulling 
him out of his reverie

The man rolled toward his girlfriend who had turned on the 
light. 

"You go ahead and read.  I know how much you hate buses.  
I'll throw this shirt over my eyes" she offered

"You sure?" he asked

"Yes" she sighed as she turns away from him




Mulder began to think that maybe he and Scully were just as 
fucked up as everyone else, no more, no less.  His eyes were 
only slightly drowsy as he thought about the 2 more bus 
transfers he'd take and the one more day on the road he's 
spend until he was with Scully again.  Despite the fact that 
they were criminals on the run, their relationship was in a 
much better place then it was back then.  He chuckled to 
himself when he realized that it was their attempt at 
in-vitro that changed the dynamic of their relationship. 
It was an odd step but in the end, the right one to take.  
On paper and in a Petri dish Scully was acknowledging that 
he was more than her work and sex partner.  They were 
making a baby together, for everyone to know, and it was a 
start in his mind.  He still remembered the meeting with 

Dr. Parenti:


He was sitting in a nice, overly neat office with lots of 
natural light waiting for Dr. Parenti to stop shuffling 
through his paperwork and start speaking to him.

"So, we're just going to go over some of your family, 
biological, and sexual history here" he began

"No problem"

"Any genetic diseases we should be aware of?"

"My family has a history of near-sightedness and red-green 
colour blindness" Mulder responded

"Heart attacks? Strokes?"

"No, no"

"Cancer?"

"No"

"Diabetes?"

"My Great Aunt Mildred had juvenile diabetes, but that's 
it as far as I know"

"Mental disorders?"

"Diagnosed?" Mulder asks to be funny

"Um, yes" Dr. Parenti responds obviously uncomfortable

"No" Mulder chuckles

"Okay, Mr. Mulder, you can fill out the rest of that form 
with my nurse.  I just wanted to check on the big ones"

"Fine, whatever you need doctor.  I just want to help Dana"

"I know, I know" he mutters "now, for your sexual history.  
How many sexual partners in the last year?"

"Besides myself?" Mulder joked

"Yes"

"One"

"Using condoms?"

"No"

"Is it a monogamous relationship?" he asks as he flips 
through papers "are you married Mr. Mulder?"

"No, I'm not married, and as far as I know, we are just 
sleeping with each other"

"You know Mr. Mulder" he says as he looks up from the file 
"in this day and age, with all the sexually transmitted 
diseases out there..."

"It's okay Doctor.  I know she's clean and she knows I am.  
I trust her"

"Well...you never can be sure" he replies as he looks 
back to his folder

"It's Dana" 

"Oh" Dr. Parenti looks uncomfortable all at once "she hadn't 
made me aware of her sexual relationship with you. I had 
no idea your connection with her was beyond that of a 
friend and donor"

"I'm not surprised" 

"I'm sorry Mr. Mulder but this doesn't match up" he begins 
as he flips through pages in the file "Ms. Scully also 
indicated that she was in one sexual relationship but that 
she used condoms in that relationship"

"Trust me Doctor, we don't, I would have noticed.  We know 
she can't get pregnant, so it was never a discussion.  She 
probably said we use them  to avoid these types of questions. 
The last thing she wants to 
talk about is us"

"I see" is the only response he gives before he closes the 
file and folds his hands in front of himself 

"Are you sure this is what you want to do Mr. Mulder?  It 
sounds like you and Ms. Scully have a complicated enough 
relationship without adding in-vitro fertilization to the 
list" he truthfully says

"I'm sure Dr. Parenti.  We do have a complicated relationship, 
but I know it won't always be that way.  I want more than 
anything to do this for Dana"

"Ok then" he sighs "let's get on with the physical 
examination..."

Mulder then remembered Scully taking hormone shots while 
they were in Arcadia.  He remembered her being wound up 
tighter then a thread and feeling like she was ready to snap 
at any minute.  How she was so sensitive and hostile all the 
time.  And how, the first attempt at in-vitro upon their 
return from that case had failed.  It was after this first 
failure that something snapped in Scully.  It was almost as 
if she said 'fuck it' and decided to relax.  Relax about 
the in-vitro, relax about them.  Mulder welcomed the change.

They had gone out to dinner together and made slow passionate 
love afterwards.  He had spent a few nights at her place and 
had noticed that a haz-mat team had not come in afterwards 
to destroy all evidence.  She opened her heart to him and 
he opened his past to her.  He told her about his brief and 
shitty marriage to Diana and the no-nonsense divorce that 
happened 6 months after she left for Europe.  About how it 
was for these reasons that he trusted her and still thought 
of her as a friend.  Because she had never, in all the years 
he had known her, betrayed him or used any knowledge she 
had about him, against him.  

Then he had taught her to play baseball the night before their 
second, and last, attempt.  She was relaxed and happy.  He 
was sure this time it would take.  The procedure had gone 
well and they had left the office hopeful.  A week later when 
Scully went for her follow-up appointment there was no baby.  
She walked into her apartment devastated.  That was it. 
No baby.  Or so they believed...


Thoughts of William filled  Mulder's heart as he drifted off 
to sleep and the bus moved on toward Scully.

************

Sitting at the counter of the bus terminal diner, Mulder glances 
up at the bus schedule on the monitor and notes that his bus is 
running on schedule.  He takes another sip of his strong black 
coffee and grins, he's happy he's finally in Georgia and happy 
there's only one more bus until he's back with Scully.  

He has slept very little on this journey and coffee is the only 
thing keeping him going.  He has been worried about Scully the 
entire time.  Worried she'll get caught.  Worried something will 
happen to her.  Cursing that they had to separate to make the 
journey to Georgia.  Mad that they will need to do it at least 
once more.  

"Another cup?" the waitress asks

"Yeah, great" Mulder replies, snapped out of his thoughts

"Where are you off to?" she asks obviously looking for conversation

Mulder looks up at the monitor for a bus going in the opposite 
direction of his.

"Charleston" he answers

"Oh, you've got a bit of a wait still" she says as she too looks 
at the monitor

"Yeah, but it's the last rest I'll have for a while.  I don't 
mind"

"Why, what's waiting for you in Charleston?" she asks

"My mother.  She's sick and I'm going there to take care of her"

"Oh, I'm so sorry" she responds with genuine sympathy "is it 
cancer?"

"Yeah" Mulder continues with the story "there's not much they 
can do"

She looks at him with a sad smile and goes to walk away then 
turns looking at him with something important she wants to share

"I don't know why they can't come up with a cure for it.  You'd 
think that with all those smart scientists and billions of dollars 
being put into research, someone, somewhere, hasn't figured out 
a cure" 


"Yeah, I know what you mean" Mulder replies as he thinks back 
to Scully's attempt to get the cure for cancer






They were standing in her apartment after her time away with CGB 
Spender.  They had just come back from finding the bare offices 
he used to lure Scully into the game.  She was indignant and 
pissed off.  She didn't want him there with her but he came 
inside anyways.


"He used you Scully" 

"I know, and I just feel sick about it" she said in a resigned 
voice as her shoulders sagged

In an instant he crossed the room and wrapped her in his arms.   
He wanted to make her feel safe and loved.  Her head moved upwards 
and she kissed the underside of his chin.  As he bent his head 
down to look at her, she captured his lips with hers and kissed 
him intensely.  His hands immediately started to rub up and 
down her sides, un-tucking her shirt as they did.

"Mulder, maybe we shouldn't" she chuckled as he started to 
remove her shirt

"Why not?" he half-heartedly asks as he cups her through her 
pants.  She is mute for a moment as he skillfully undoes her 
bra.

"Ahhhh, it's just that..."

"What?" he asks as his mouth finds her breast and he sucks 
hard on a nipple.  "I've missed you"

"Ohhh, Mulderrr" she gasps "you are..."

"Making you happy?" he asks as he undoes and drops her pants 
to the floor.  

He walks her underwear-clad body closer to the bed and drops 
his own pants in the process.

"Mulder" she says as she pushes him away slightly

"Yes Scully?" he asks as he fingers her panties and starts to 
slide them down her hips

"Mulder, stop!" she says forcefully


His head jerks away from the shoulder that he was softly kissing 
and he looks her straight in the eye

"Scully?" he asks confused

"Mulder, if we are going to do this..." she stammers "you need to 
wear a condom for your own protection" 

Her head falls to her chest and Mulder is starring at the top of 
her hair utterly confused.

"What?" he asks

"Mulder, while I was away with CGB..." she starts and then stops 
and looks at him with teary eyes

"You slept with him!" Mulder reels as he pulls himself away from 
her

"No...I mean...I don't know" she says as she steps toward him

"What do you mean Scully? You either did or you didn't" he says 
with anger as he runs a hand through his hair

"Mulder, let me explain"

"This is the kind of explanation" he says as he reaches to yank 
up his jeans to cover his nudity "that I don't want to hear" 

"Mulder, stop!" she yells

He stops doing up his pants and stands before her waiting for the 
woman in the blue lace panties to give him an explanation.

"I fell asleep in the car" she begins "I think he drugged me, 
actually.  When I woke up I was in my pajamas in a bed and it 
was morning.  I had no idea how I got there or what happened in 
those hours I was unconscious" 

"Oh, god, Scully" he says as he approaches her and places his hands 
on her shoulders to pull her into him

"I...I...I don't think anything happened.  There was no evidence of 
any..." she falters and her voice breaks "there was no semen" 

"Oh, god" he exhales as he pulls her in tighter

"I really don't think he did anything but until I get some blood 
work done I don't want to put you at any unnecessary risk" she 
cries into his chest

"Scully, why didn't you say before?" he chokes out the words

She sniffles into his chest.

"All I want to know right now is are you okay?"

She nods in response and he feels more tears slide their way down 
his chest and stomach.

"Mulder, I really don't think I was raped" she sputters "but all 
those missing hours...I need to know for sure before I do anything 
that could...could harm you as well" 

"I don't care about me Scully.  It's your health and safety I care 
about the most" he says as he lifts his shirt from the ground and 
pulls it over her head "we'll get through this together.  I promise"

"I know.  Thank you" she whimpers into his chest

"What do you want to do now?  Do you want to go to the hospital?  
I will do whatever you ask"

"I want to go to bed Mulder.  I need sleep and I need to feel safe. 
I'll get blood work done in the morning"

"Then that's what we'll do" he replies as he unsteadily turns her 
towards the bed and pulls down her covers wrapping her in a cocoon

That night Mulder sat up in bed with Scully's head on his lap.  He 
spent most of the night gently running his hands through her hair 
and thinking about how he was going to slowly dissect CGB Spender 
the next time he saw him.






"All boarding for Blairsville on platform 4" an announcement came 
over the loud speaker

Mulder reached for his backpack stuffed with camping gear and 
dropped a five dollar bill on the counter

He casually walked to Platform 4 and boarded the bus that would 
take him to Scully.  To his home.  Because that's how he always
thought of her.  No matter where they were, or what they were 
doing, he was home as long as he was with her.

***********

Mulder walked cautiously toward the door of room 16 of the Sunset 
Palace Motel.  It looked recently shut down and the knots in his 
stomach tightened with each step he took.  This was his and Scully's 
meeting point but there was no one in sight.  She was supposed to 
have been here for the last 2 days but there is nowhere for her to 
be, and he had their tent so there was no way she could have been 
camping.  How had she spent the last 2 days?  Where was she?


He mentally chastised himself for this oversight.  He should have 
checked to make sure it was still open, he hadn't been here since 
he was a teenager vacationing with his Grandpa and Grandma.  It had 
been in business for over 50 years then, he just figured it was 
still in business when they saw it in the motel directory.  
Apparently, they were about 6 months late for a room at this place.  

It was night and he didn't notice as he kicked a can on his 
approach.  The rattle from it hitting the metal siding wall of the 
motel echoed throughout the empty lot.  He figured he should at 
least check in the room for a note or message from Scully, possibly 
giving him a clue to her current location.

The door to the room was open and when Mulder switched on his small 
flashlight he saw that it had obviously been used for a party place 
many nights.  There were beer bottles and used condoms littering the 
floor and mice scurrying around the perimeter of the room.  Without 
the mess and rodents it would have looked like any one of the 
thousand motel rooms he and Scully had stayed in over the years. 

He walked across the room and was drawn to a picture on the wall.  
It was an oil painting of a beach scene circa 1960 with a dog 
running after a kite.  The painting had been spray painted with 
a bunch of tags but the print underneath was unmistakable.  It 
wasn't just any painting, it was a painting he had seen before.  
This same painting was in the room he and Scully shared when 
Emily died:






He had received Scully's phone call about her daughter and hopped on 
the first plane to San Diego in hopes of figuring this out with as 
little damage to her psyche as possible.    The girl was Scully's 
and she was very ill.  Mulder had tried to do everything to help 
Scully and her little girl but, in the end Scully had made the 
very unselfish move to let Emily die instead of prolonging her 
pain and suffering.  

He had offered to stay with Scully at the hospital but she had 
brushed him off.  He wasn't sure why but, for some reason she 
needed to do this alone.  He gave her the space she needed and 
waited outside ICU in a very uncomfortable chair for many hours 
thinking of what Scully must be facing.  When she emerged with 
a drawn look on her face and red eyes he knew that Emily had 
died and that she had just lost the only daughter she would 
ever know.  


"Mulder?" she asked as he walked toward her "what are you still 
doing here?  It's 4 am."

"I couldn't...I couldn't just leave you here alone Scully" he 
stammered


"I'm fi...." she began and then dropped her head to her chest while 
silent sobs raked over her body

He took 3 steps forward and engulfed her in his embrace whispering 
comforting words into her hair as she clung to his waist.

"Let me get you back to your brother's house.  You need to get some 
sleep Scully"

"No, no" she whispered into his lapel "I don't want to go there.  I 
can't stand to see their patronizing faces, Mulder.  I just can't 
bear it right now"

"Then, what do you want Scully?  Just tell me and I'll make it 
happen" he said reassuringly

"Are you checked in somewhere, Mulder?"

He nodded 'yes'

"Then take me there.  I just need to get some sleep and I don't 
really feel like talking much, if that's okay?"

"That's just fine Scully" he said as he firmly grasped her waist 
and walked her out of the hospital.

When they arrived at the motel he left her alone in the room while 
he ran out to bring back  something to eat.  He knew she needed to 
eat, but he also knew Scully needed some time to herself to clean 
up and get changed.  He had offered her his pajamas and she had 
gratefully accepted them.  

Upon his return with McDonald's  in hand, he couldn't help but 
snicker at the sight of Scully in his large blue pajamas rolled 
up on the legs and arms.  She looked like she had been swallowed 
by a cotton monster.  

They ate quietly and after she ate half  her muffin she climbed 
over the bed and was pulling up the covers without a word.  

"I'll get the blinds and the TV" Mulder offered

"No, Mulder, please leave them.  I'm so tired I can fall asleep, 
as is"

He immediately rose to pull the blinds shut and turn off the  TV

"No, really Mulder, I'm just going to go to sleep.  Please watch 
some TV, I've already taken over your room enough as it is" 

"I'm fine Scully, really." he said as he clicked the TV off "I 
have a couple of case files I have to look over anyways." 

"Whatever you want Mulder.  I'm going to sleep"

"Sweet dreams" he said before he had had a chance to think

She started to cry immediately.  He felt like the biggest idiot, 
ever.  How can she have sweet dreams? Her daughter just died, her 

family thinks she's nuts, she can't have children, her career is 
a mess because she's partnered with him, the list goes on.

He got up and sat next to her on the bed pulling her toward him 
"I'm sorry Scully.  I'm so sorry"

She cried in his arms for almost an hour as he smoothed over her 
hair and wiped the tears from her eyes.  Only in sleep did the 
crying stop.  Mulder sat up all day with her head in his lap 
gently patting her hair and staring at the picture of the dog 
chasing the kite. Only it wasn't just a dog chasing a kite.  
There was also a little blonde girl in the painting running 
ahead of the dog, pulling the kite.  Running away from you and 
never turning around.  






"Mulder?"

Her voice broke the silence of the ramshackle room and 
Mulder's memories of the painting.

"Scully" he exhaled as he turned toward the door to find her 
standing in the frame


He briskly walked toward her anxious to close the distance 
between them.

"Where have you been?"

"Well, not here.  I'll tell you that"  she snickered

"I would hope not." he chuckled as his arms encircled her 
waist and he pulled her toward him "where's all your gear?"


"That's what I need to talk to you about"

"OK, what is it Scully?"

"I know our plan was to camp again for another month but 
when I got here and saw this place..."

"I'm sorry about that"

"No, no, it's okay Mulder.  How could we have known, 
right?"

"Right"

"So I got here and I realized I didn't have a tent so I 
had to explore my options"

"Okay...Scully you are making me nervous, can you get to 
the point?"

"So, there's a trailer park just over the ridge and I 
rented us a trailer for a month"

"You what?"

"I rented a trailer at Poteete Creek Campground.  It's 
cheap, it beats the shit out of camping for another month, 
it's clean, and it's fairly secluded so we don't have to 
worry about people"

"How secluded?"

"Well, most of the people who live there work in the quarry 
and work long shifts.  When they aren't working and have a f
ew days off they go home to their families.  All in all, there a
re usually very few people around"

"So, what's the catch?"

"No catch Mulder.  I just would like to sleep in a bed for 
the next month and after days spent switching buses I'm sick 
of movement.  Can you just try it out?"

He sighed and looked down at her face in the dark.  He'd do 
anything for her.  He leaned down and kissed her sweetly 
on the lips.

"Sounds great Scully.  Show me where home is"

He let go of her and walked back to his backpack which he'd 
dumped on the floor when he heard her voice.

"Mulder, you backpack is going to be covered with puke and 
used condoms after being on that floor"

"Yeah, I guess I didn't think about that" he agreed as he 
reached down to pick it up.  

Her flashlight shone a beam of light in his direction 
hoping to help him see his way back when  the painting 
behind him caught her attention.  

"That painting Mulder, I know it somehow"

He grimaced and looked down at his shoes waiting for the 
moment when it dawned on her where she saw it 
before.  

"It's from the night Emily died" he offered as he watched 
her perplexed face search for the connection

"Oh" was all she offered as she stared at it blankly

"Come on Scully, let's get out of here" he said as he reached 
around her shoulder.

"I didn't expect that" she offered

"Just like I didn't expect your mother to call your cell phone 
at 8am that morning and my  having to explain that you were 
asleep in my bed" he offered trying to take her mind off Emily

"What?" Scully asked shocked as she turned toward him

"Didn't I ever tell you that?"

"No"

"Didn't your mother?"

"No, I think I would have remembered that conversation"

"Oh" was all he could reply

"What did she say?"

"Well, I answered your phone because it was on the nightstand 
and I didn't want to wake you"

"Okay, I see that.  Keep going"

"So she was obviously surprised that I answered and asked 
if she could speak with you.  I explained you were asleep 
and when she started to say she was going to come to the
hospital to get you, I had to tell her where you were"

"Which was...?"

"I told her you were at the Motor Court Inn with me"

"You what?!"

"Well, you were. And as I started to explain how we got 
there she interrupted me and said that her daughter's 
personal life was none of her business"

"And you didn't correct her?"

"She wouldn't let me and hung up the phone so fast I 
didn't have a chance to tell her about Emily"

"Mulder!"

"What?"

"You led my mother to believe that we were involved back 
then"

"I did not such thing Scully.  She wouldn't let me explain"

"Well, I'm glad that I was the one who told her about 
Emily.  I think in her own way she understood that my 
loss was very real"

"I think she did too Scully"

"I miss her Mulder"

"I know.  You'll see her again.  You have to believe 
that Scully"

"I do Mulder.  I do" she affirmed to herself

They walked out of the room and into the night toward 

their new home.

**************

Mulder woke because a beam of sunlight was peaking through a spot 
just under the curtains in their bedroom and hitting him right in 
the eye.  Scully's naked, sweaty, body was literally stuck to him 
under the sheet they were laying with.  Unfortunately, it was for 
all the wrong reasons.  A heat wave had hit Georgia this July and 
life at the Poteete Creek Campground was very sticky and hot.  
They spent most of their days in and out of water to keep cool 
and, because they were so drained at the end of the day, had not 
had sex in almost a week even though they had taken to sleeping 
naked to keep cool.  One part of Mulder's body was begging for a 
break in this dry spell.  As he tried to lift her off him, her 
skin peeled painfully from his.

"Owww" she grumbled as he unstuck her arm from his shoulder

"Sorry, Scully.  I think we have melted together" he quipped as 
he tried to gently peel her chest off himself

With that, she quickly rolled from him unsticking their skin in 
one swift movement

"Owwww!" they both gasped 

"Was that the whole band aid theory?" Mulder asked as he rubbed 
his sore chest

"I thought quicker would be better" she said as she grasped her 
sore nipples "I think I was wrong"

"You think?" he griped at her

"Sorry" she replied as she laid a hand over his red chest

"It's okay" 

"Maybe we should sleep farther apart so this doesn't happen 
again" she offered

"Are you kidding?  Despite the pain," he started as he wrapped 
an arm around her waist "that is my ultimate fantasy--to be 
stuck to you, naked"

"Really?" she smiled back

"Really" he began "now I need to inspect for further damage" 

Mulder quickly pulled the sheet off them and straddled her 
body in one swift movement

"I didn't know you were so agile this early in the morning, 
especially in the middle of a heat wave" she smiled up at him

"I am going to make my own luck Scully.  I'm not waiting for 
this heat wave to break, I'm tempting fate, dehydration, and 
possible loss of consciousness and having sex with you, right 
here, right now" 

"You romantic fool" 

He grabbed her wrists and stretched her arms out on either 
side of her body as he flattened himself against her.  He 
slowly began to kiss her jaw and then down one arm paying 
particular attention to the inside of her elbow which was 
always very ticklish.  


"All's good so far" he said as he nudged the underside of her 
breast with his nose and kissed his way down her ribs, across 
her belly, and back up to her breasts.  He encased the bulk 
of one in his mouth and started to suck hard on the tip.  
Painfully hard, but Scully liked it that way.  He suckled 
her for a long time lightly biting her nipples and teasing 
them with his tongue.

"Mulder, sometimes I think when you do that" she said between 
pants "you are hoping for a payoff"

"My payoff is making you happy" he replied, although he knew 
exactly what she was referring to






It was not long after Mulder had returned from the dead and 
discovered that Scully was in danger that he started to spend 
lots of time at her place.  He wanted to keep her and the 
baby safe and the best way he could do that was to be close 
by.  He fell asleep on her couch the first few evenings he 
came by and woke up in the middle of the night with a blanket 
tucked around him. Those nights he went to check on Scully 
and then went back to the couch.  

They may have been in a relationship before, but many months 
had passed, she was pregnant, and he wasn't quite sure what 
to do about how their relationship had drastically changed 
overnight.  It had actually been months but he had little 
recollection of that time and it seemed like everything had 
changed in a few short days. 

One night he woke up to no blanket and a chilly feeling all 
over his body.  He went to check on Scully as usual, and found 
himself standing and shivering as he looked down at her in the 
moonlight.  

"Mulder," she mumbled "get into bed, your teeth are chattering"

"It's okay Scully.  I'll go back to the couch" he said as he 
turned to leave

"Why?" she asked as she opened her eyes 

"Why, what?" he tried to act innocent

"Mulder" she called his bluff with a raised eyebrow

"I don't want to..." he started as he looked to the ceiling 
for guidance "...to...to...crowd you Scully.  It's been a while, 
your feelings may have changed, you have enough on your plate, 
I just want you to be safe and happy"

"I'm safer and happier when you're in my bed Mulder" she replied 
as she sat up

"I think...I think you want to me hear that but, I also think 
you are not sure if you mean it"

"I do mean it Mulder" she said as she lowered her legs to the 
floor to stand "really, what's going on right now is what's 
making me unhappy.  Since you've been back..." she began 
"...I think I know where we stand one minute and then, I'm 
totally confused the next.  I want you in my life Mulder, 
now and always, I want you in our baby's life, now and always.  
But....but I need to know that you want it too.  Because if 
you don't we need to stop all this, right now"

She reached out and grasped his hand in hers rubbing the back 
of it with her thumb.

"Scully," he sighed "I have to be honest.  I don't know how to 
do this.  My parent's relationship was shit, my dad was crappy 
at the job of being a father, and I'm very scared that I just 
don't have the knowledge to...to...to do this well.  In fact, 
in the last few weeks I think I have proven I don't know how 
to do this"

"But do you want to?" she whispered

"Very much so" he conceded

"Then we'll figure it out Mulder.  We'll figure it out together"

He followed her to bed that night and many nights after that.  
The first few nights they just held each other but one night 
Scully started to get frisky.

"What are you doing?" he asked as she reached under his pajama 
pants

"Checking to make sure everything is in working order" she 
grinned

"I can assure you it is"

"Don't assure me.  Show me Mulder"

"Scully, shou...shou...should we?'" he stammered

"The baby will be just fine Mulder, but I am having trouble 
falling asleep and I need your help" she said as she undid the 
drawstring on his pants

He quickly got to work removing her top and ran his hands up 
and down her naked, full, belly marveling at the tightness of 
her skin.

"Wow" he commented as he grasped her breast

"Careful," she cautioned "they're sensitive"

"They almost require their own zip code" he beamed as he gingerly 
took one into his mouth suckling it 

"Ohhhhh" she gasped as she grabbed for the bedsheets

"You okay?" he asked as he removed his mouth

"Keep...keep doing that" she panted

He gently enveloped her breast with his mouth again and began 
to suckle on it like he knew she always liked.  Within a few 
minutes in he was greeted with a clear sweet fluid filling his 
mouth.

"Uhhhh, Scully" he said as he looked up at her and she looked down 
to notice her breast was leaking fluid and his mouth was also 
dripping it

"Oh Mulder, I'm sorry you must have triggered my let down"

"Your what?" he asked as he tried to plug the leak

"Breastfeeding.  My body is getting ready for it.  You must have 
triggered a reaction." she said with raised eyebrows "you can just 
leave them alone and it'll stop"

"Will it hurt the baby or cut down on supplies available? Or 
Scully, does it hurt you?"

"What? No.  It re-generates.  And as for me it actually feels 

really good" she said as she looked at him confused

"Then I'm in" he grinned as he sucked her breast again 


"Ohhhh" she yelled as she gripped the bedsheets 








Mulder moved his way down her body from her breasts to her thighs 
and was quickly stimulating her with his tongue as sweat dripped 
from his forehead onto her curls.

"Mulder" she panted "as much as I like this....I don't know if 
we'll make it to the act if you keep this up.  Let's go quick 
and dirty for once, ok?"

"I love the way you say 'quick and dirty'" he commented as he 
raised his mouth from her and reached for the condoms sitting 
out on the bedside table

"Maybe I should say it more often then"

"No, not too often. I like taking my time with you" he replied 
as he sheathed his penis in the latex

He quickly mounted her and was inside gyrating against her as she 
thrust herself toward him time and time again. They were having  
wild, sweaty, furtive sex.  So, when the banging began on their  
front door Mulder roughly jerked inside of her as he was coming 
and she cried out in pain. He winced and pulled out as she scooted 
away from him and reached for nearby clothes. She was trying to 
pull shorts onto her sweaty body while he kneeled there stopped 
in motion by the feeling washing over his body.

"Be right there" Scully called as she tugged on a tank top

She walked out of the room and Mulder rolled to the side so he was 
out of eyesight.  He heard some mumbling from a man and Scully and 
then the door shut. She returned all flushed and out of breath.

"He just wanted to know if we had decided to stay on longer or if 
he should start telling people the trailer will be available soon.  
I told him we'd be gone at month's end" she said as she ran a hand 
through her hair

Mulder just starred at the slack condom on his penis, unable to 
speak as he watched it drip onto the sheets.

"Mulder?  Mulder, what's the matter?" she asked as she kneeled 
on the bed beside him.

She followed his eyes down to the condom and starred at if for a 
moment wondering what was different.  He knew when the realization 
hit her because her eyes widened and her hand immediately grabbed 
between her legs.  

"It broke" 

"I know"

"I came inside you as well"

"I know"

"Scully, please tell me your not ovulating"

"Quiet.  I'm trying to think" 

He lay there in silence watching her as she closed her eyes and 
mentally counted dates in her head.  He was hoping her response 
was going to be a good one.  Then, he saw her face fall and knew 
it was not what he had  desired.

"I need to go into town" she said quietly as she went to get off 
the bed

He reached to grab her arm.

"Scully?"

"Not now, Mulder" she said as she pulled away and walked into the 
kitchen.

"Damn it, Scully" he said as he punched the bed and maneuvered to 
pull off the condom.  Noting the lack of fluid inside it he realized 
he had come almost entirely inside her.

Mulder threw the broken latex into the waste bin in the washroom, 
pulled on some boxers and joined her in the kitchen.

She was standing at the sink holding a cup of coffee in her hand 
and starring out the window at a tree.

"Scully," he began as he moved to wrap his arms around her.

To his surprise she allowed him to.


"Shhhhh" she replied

"But.." 

"No, buts Mulder, no buts"

"I...I...I just don't know what to..."

"It was the heat"

"What?"

"The heat deteriorated the condoms, for gods sakes Mulder we 
left them sitting in the sun in our bedroom for weeks now.  
In a heat wave nonetheless"

"I thought maybe it was when I..."

"That may have contributed" she acquiesced "but it wasn't the 
only reason it broke."

"Oh"

"Yeah, oh"

"So, you are ovulating?" he asked, already knowing the answer


"Like a fertile bunny" she replied as she took a sip of her 
coffee

"What do you want to do?"

"I need to go into town and find a clinic."

"I'm going with you"

"No, Mulder.  You can't"

"I'm going with you" he said as he turned toward the bedroom 
to find some clothes


While he was dressing he watched her through the open bedroom 
door as she just stood there starring out at the tree, not moving.  
He knew he needed to get this birth control issue taken care of 
or this was going to kill her. 



*******************

Scully had spent the better part of a half hour placing calls to 
several pharmacies in Georgia and North Carolina while Mulder 
sweated next to her in the hot sun.  Unfortunately, they were 
limited in who they could contact because of walking distances.  
After calling 4 pharmacies and having no success she hung up 
the phone in disgust.  

"Not good?" Mulder asked as he leaned against the trailer 
office wall.

"No, not good at all" Scully replied as she wiped sweat from 
her forehead.

"What's the problem?  I heard you talking about more legal 
issues than medical issues"

"Mulder, it's really complicated." she said, sounding exasperated 
"There aren't any Planned Parenthood clinics close by so we are 
relying on pharmacies carrying an emergency contraceptive pill 
but the laws around it are controversial.  In Georgia, pharmacists 
can refuse to carry and dispense it.  That is the case in the two 
pharmacies I called in this state.  In North Carolina they just 
tend to not carry it to avoid the issue entirely, which is the 
case in the other two pharmacies I called"

"So, we are out of luck?"

"If I could get a prescription for the pill I could give myself 
a high dose which would act like an emergency contraceptive but..."

"There aren't any Planned Parenthood clinics around"

"Right"

"And any doctor you see would require ID"


"Yep"

"What about expanding our search area?  There must be a pharmacy 
that has this pill for you?"

"Mulder, our search area has been expanded to over 15 miles.  If 
it gets any farther it will take too long to walk there.  The pills 
need to be taken within 72 hours of sexual intercourse"

Mulder harshly rubbed his eyes and groaned.

"What do you want to do Scully?"

"I don't know Mulder.  I've been trying to think, but really, I 
don't know" she leaned against the wall next to him and sweat 
began to drip off her nose

"This heat is turning both our brains to mush but I have to ask, 
the chance of you being pregnant is probably slim, right?"

"Mulder," she began "I am still not sure what exactly was done 
to my body to make me fertile.  That is why I can't rely on the 
birth control pill or any other type of birth control besides 
the barrier method.  I at least know, when I see a condom on 
you, nothing is getting through.  Well, usually."

"But the emergency contraceptive you used last time worked"

"It worked because there was almost no chance I was pregnant. 
I was due to get my period that day and it arrived the next one.  
Fertility was not really an issue, but this time, I think it is"

"Do you want to wait and see?  If you are pregnant we could 
always..."

"No, I'd rather assure I wasn't going to be pregnant then making 
the decision to no longer be pregnant" she answered swiftly

"Ok" he said as he put an arm around her shoulder "let's think 
outside the box"

They stood for several long sweaty minutes trying to come up 
with a solution.

"You could go into Blairsville and maybe find a sympathetic 
doctor that wouldn't require ID" Mulder offered

"No, that is too risky but I think I do have an idea" she said 
while deep in concentration "There is a Planned Parenthood Clinic 
in Asheville, North Carolina.   If I hike up to Murphy I can hop 
on a Greyhound and be there by tonight.  I can then get to the 
Planned Parenthood Clinic in the morning and hopefully see 
someone right away. That's still within the 72 hour window and 
then I'll come back here"

"You're not going alone"

"We can't travel together Mulder, you know that as well as I do"

"You're not going alone and you're not coming back here"

"Excuse me?" she said turning toward him

"We're leaving today. After Asheville we're going to Virginia 
and that's it.  No more time on the road.  I'm done and so are you"

"But we have the trailer for..."

"Who cares?  We are going to be part way to Virginia by the time we 
get to Asheville anyways, it's pointless to come back"

"What do you mean 'we'?"

"I'm coming with you as far as Asheville, at least.  After you're 
done at the clinic we'll take separate routes to Virginia.  Sound 
fair?"

"I'm still not sure"

"Well, get sure Scully, because I'm going back to pack up and 
we're leaving together"

Mulder walked away with confidence and purpose.  He was going to 
get them out of this trailer park and get Scully to a clinic as 
quickly as possible.  He didn't want this to be more difficult for 
her than it already was.

Within two hours they were packed and hiking away from the trailer 
park.  It was a 3 hour walk to Murphy and the bus they needed wasn't 
leaving until evening.  There was no rush but anxiousness kept them 
moving at a quick pace and they found themselves on the 7:26 bus to 
Asheville North Carolina.  

The next morning after a restless night sleeping in a cheap motel 
Mulder found himself hanging out in a coffee shop waiting for 
Scully to return from the clinic.  What he was not prepared for 
was seeing Scully walk in with another man.  He immediately 
straightened in his chair and cleared his throat.

"This is Dr. James Blythe.  A childhood friend of my brother Bill" 
Scully said anxiously

Mulder immediately stood and tentatively reached out a hand to 
shake.  "Nice to meet you"


"I wish it were under better circumstances" James nervously 
chuckled

"James was my doctor at the clinic"

"Oh" was all Mulder responded.  He had no idea how much Scully had 
told this man or how much he still kept in contact with the Scully's.

Mulder kept his eyes locked on Scully and the man and, sensing his 
uncomfortableness, Scully quickly gave him the background 
information she knew he needed.

"James understands the circumstances we find ourselves in.  He also 
assures me this meeting will only be shared with my mother, just to 
reassure her we are fine." she said looking straight at Mulder

"Okay"

 "And James," she continued "I trust my medical reason for the visit 
will not be shared." Scully smiled in his direction

"Oh, of course Dana, I would never..."

"I know James. I'm just teasing" she said as she rested a hand on 
his arm

Scully's ease with the man immediately put Mulder at ease.  If she 
trusted him, he would as well.

"I'm just glad to see that you are okay" James offered

"We're fine" Scully countered "we just ran into a bit of a...snag"

"Where are you staying?"

Both Mulder and Scully shifted in their seats, neither was used to 
providing details of their location.  James noticed this immediately.

"It's just that...that if you don't have a place, you are more then 
welcome to stay at my cabin if you need a private place for a day or 
two.  Melanie and I just came back from it and it's available if...
if...if you need something"

"That's very nice of you James..." Mulder began

"...but we can't implicate you anymore than this" Scully finished

"I understand, but, it looks like things have not been easy for you 
two."

With that comment they both took in their rough, sweaty, 
appearance.  Scully smiled, embarrassed for the first time 
of their situation.

"I just wanted to help." he started again "The cabin isn't locked, 
so I could say I really had no idea.  If, you were to go there"

"But there are medical records linking Dana to you" Mulder offered

"What records?" James grinned as he leaned in "Look, I practically 
grew up with you.  I think of you like my kid sister.  I would do 
anything for you Dana.  I really mean that."

"That's awfully nice of you James.  We'll think about it" Scully 
offered as she rose to use the bathroom

"That's one great girl you've got there" James said as he looked 
across at Mulder

"Don't I know it, don't I know it" Mulder said with a bowed head

"Uh, you mind me asking how you two are managing?"

"We're fine, really we are. I know it doesn't look like it, but you 
can assure Mrs. Scully that after this last trip I've got things 
taken care of and Dana won't be on the road much longer.  We'll be 
very comfortable.  It's just that right now,  when unexpected things 
like...this...happen that we're sort of thrown off course, if you 
know what I mean"

"Yeah, she was really upset about it.  I could tell"

"We...we...can't have anymore kids James, not with the way things 
are." Mulder divulged, trying to make the man understand "I really  
hate what this is doing to her.  And Scully, well, she won't 
completely trust anything unless it's permanent and that's going 
to be a while."

"You mean you're going to have a ....?"

"Yeah, once things get a bit more settled she's going to take 
care of... things"

"I could do it"

"What?"

"I could do it tomorrow.  I can get the equipment from the office 
and meet you at my cabin.  I've done quite a few at my office, it'll 
be nothing.  Well, for me at least," he quipped "Then you can at 
least rest easy you won't have to find another Planned Parenthood 
clinic again"

Mulder chuckled "I wasn't planning on having sex again until things 
were permanently fixed," 

James laughed "I can see that"

The laughter quickly died and Mulder looked at James in all 
seriousness "James, I can't continue to risk this possibility with 
her.  It'll destroy her.  In some ways I think it has a little 
already"

"Then, why don't we take care of...things...tomorrow.  I think, 
if I were in your shoes, I'd rather have someone else do...it.  
Having your girlfriend perform this type of procedure on you is 
just a little twisted"

"You're right about the twisted part, but we didn't think we had 
a choice.  I don't know James.  You're really getting involved with 
us if you were to do that..."

"Who has to know?  The cabin is remote, Melanie works evenings 
tomorrow, and it'll take a half hour.  You would have to rest for 
a couple of  days though to avoid any strain.  Then you two can 
be off to wherever you plan on going, and no one is any the wiser.  
At least you two can relax about the accidental pregnancy part"

"Thanks for the offer James, I really mean that.  Let me talk 
with Scully and we'll see"

"I just want her to be happy.  And despite what Bill has said 
about you in the past, I know you do make her happy, I can see it."

"Can see what?" Scully asked upon her return

"How happy he makes you, despite all the intrigue" James said as 
he rose "I made Mulder an offer you two need to discuss.  Right now 
I'm late for my next appointment.  Call me on my cell if you want 
to take me up on it.  If so, I'll be there after work tomorrow.  
If not, it was great to see you and I'll share some news with your 
mother when I'm up visiting in a couple of weeks"

James handed Scully a folded up piece of paper with a map to his 
cabin and cell number on it, he gave her a quick hug and quietly 
left the coffee shop.
 
"What offer?" she asked

"To perform that procedure we've been talking about" Mulder said 
as he took a drink of his coffee

"Oh"

"Hey, you mind telling me what the hell just happened here?"

"I'm sorry.  There was no time for cloak and dagger.  He was 
already behind on his schedule because of his appointment with 
me and then had only a half hour before the next one.  So, I 
just brought him with me"

"Wait a second, start from the beginning"

"Okay.  I went to the clinic and was called in for my appointment.  
I met with a nurse for a while and then she said I had to be seen 
by a doctor to get the pills.  I used the same drunk, unprotected, 
sex story from last time and got the same lecture as last time." 
she said with embarrassment "Then, in walked James and I froze.  
He must have noticed something was wrong because he didn't call 
me Dana or acknowledge we knew each other until the nurse left 
the room"

"Good man"

"Definitely.  So, he immediately wanted to know what was going on. 
I didn't want to involve him in this so I went to leave, thinking 
I had to get you out of town as quickly as possible.  He then 
hugged me and wouldn't let go.  He said he was so happy I was safe.  
I knew then he wasn't going to turn us in.  So, I told him a 
condensed version of what was going on, although, he'd already 
heard most of it from his mother.  He knew we were felons on the 
run and he immediately reassured me he was not going to involve 
the police. Honestly, he's the salt of the earth"

"That's reassuring"

 "I then told him about the condom breaking and how I was unsure 
the pills may even work after my history of...fertility.  He gave 
me 3 doses of the pills.  I have to take them at intervals over 
the next few days.  It should guarantee nothing fertilizes."

"That's good to know but, are you okay with that?" he asked as he 
grabbed her hand

"Well, it's going to make me really nauseous, but I'm more 
confident overcompensating"

"Okay"

"He's a great guy and I am really sorry he's now involved in all 
of this"

"I know.  We'll get out of here as quickly as possible and hopefully 
we can minimize his role if we do get caught and they trace a 
path back to him" 

"I don't see how they can, he's safe"

"Well, we still should get out of here so he's not compromised"

"Maybe we shouldn't"

"What?"

"Why don't we take him up on the offer he made you? Listen, as a 
GP he does these things pretty regularly.  I haven't done one since 
I was an intern.  He has the equipment and the experience.  I'd 
trust him more than I'd trust myself"

"I'm not sure Scully"

"I'll be right there, but I'll let him do the procedure"

"Well, it is just a little enticing to have it over with, and to 
not have you do it. That was going to be a little weird.  I'm sure 
psychoanalysts could write volumes about that one"

"You think?" she grinned

"We can trust him?"

"I'm sure we can.  I grew up with him and he was always honest and 
trustworthy, which made me wonder why he was friends with Bill" 
she chuckled

"Opposites do attract"

"Apparently he hasn't seen or spoken with Bill in a few years.  
He knows what's up with the Scully's from his mom.  She is part of 
the same church group as mine"

"Oh"

"He moved out here about 6 years ago because his wife, Melanie, is 
from the area. He has a practice but volunteers 2 days a month at 
Planned Parenthood.  I just happened to show up one of those days"


"I guess we lucked into this one"

"We did.  How about I call him and then we head to the cabin with 
some supplies for a few days"

"If you want to do this Scully, I'm up for it."

"Sounds good" 

Scully rose from the table and went to the payphone near the exit.  
Mulder finished his coffee and dropped a bill on the table.  He was 
happy they were finding a permanent solution to the birth control 
situation.  Their minds would be at ease after this.  Once they got 
to Virginia they could take some time to just 'be'.

****************

James Blythe's log cabin was rustic and peaceful and set on the 
banks of the French Broad River.  It had very basic amenities 
and was only one room but perfect for Mulder and Scully.  They 
hiked up to it later in the day after stopping for some supplies 
and were pleasantly surprised to find it exactly as James had 
described it, unlocked and without neighbors.  

Scully had taken her second dosage of the morning after pill 
and by dinner time was retching in a bucket on the front 
porch. Mulder rubbed her back, and pushed her hair out of 
her eyes even though he knew she thought it was patronizing.  
There was nothing else he could do.  After several minutes 
of bile Scully moved to sit on her haunches.

"Thanks" she said "I'll be okay.  Is there any water?"

"Sure, I'll be right back"

As Mulder walked inside the cabin to get her a bottled 
water he suddenly realized this was what he had missed out 
on when she was pregnant with William.  He had missed 
everything from her morning sickness to sonograms to her 
gradually increasing girth.  All of it was an experience 
he did not have and she did. He handed her a bottled 
water which she first placed on her forehead before 
opening.

"Is this what it was like with William?"

"Uh, yeah, it was for a little while" she hesitantly 
answered

"What did you do to get through it?"

"I ate a lot of crackers" she snickered "plain, dry, 
crackers"

"Did we buy any of those?"

"Actually, I did.  They are in the cupboard, can you 
get me a few?"

Mulder quickly returned with the requested crackers and 
watched as Scully gingerly nibbled on one.  They were 
quiet for several minutes as he studied her, unsure if 
he wanted to continue the pregnancy conversation, and 
unsure if she wanted to discuss it.

"You know Scully," he began "you didn't tell me much 
about your pregnancy with William before I came back"

"Uh, huh"

"Can I ask you some questions now?"

"Uh, sure Mulder"

"I know your mom knew from early on.  How did you tell 
her that her unmarried Catholic daughter was with child, 
did you go with the immaculate conception angle?"

Scully snickered at his comment and moved to sit on the 

wooden chair on the porch.

"Well, I actually didn't tell anyone but Skinner for 
quite some time.  I was too focused on finding you to 
deal with my pregnancy.  But, then I figured I better 
tell my mom before she showed up one day and I looked 
like a linebacker"

"Scully you never looked like a linebacker"

"Whatever.  Anyways, I went out to her house for dinner 
all ready to tell her and when I got there Father McCue 
was also there.  I couldn't imagine telling her in front 
of him and the man stuck around forever.  I was so 
exhausted I eventually  fell asleep on her couch.  I woke 
up as she was locking the door for the night and I felt 
like if I didn't tell her now I'd lose my nerve.  So, I 
said 'Mom, you know how much you love grandchildren?  Do 
you think you could handle one more?'.  It took her about 
half a minute to figure it out but she hugged me and 
cried.  There was no judgment, no guilt, just pure joy.  
It was wonderful, actually."

"It sounds wonderful.  I'm so happy she didn't give you 
a hard time"

"Well, I'm sure she knew it was yours but she didn't 
ask.  With you missing I guess she figured she didn't 
need to poke at that raw nerve."

"You must have questioned how you were going to manage"

"No, no.  I knew in my heart I would find you"

Mulder saw a shadow fall over her eyes and suddenly felt 
the need to lighten the mood.

"Did Skinner faint on the spot when you told him?"

Mulder got the response he wanted as Scully laughed at the 
question.


"He did go really pale for a minute, but he held up well"

"You know he asked me outright if the baby was mine"

"When?"

"Near the end.  We had decided to keep it quiet so I didn't 
want to divulge the information without consulting with you 
first, so I deflected the question"

"I think he knew it was yours.  He just wanted undeniable 
proof.  It's not like I was making the rounds among the 
agents in the office"

"I don't know Scully, you did have a reputation" 

For that comment Mulder got a swat.

"Hey, what was that for?"

"Mosquito.  We better get inside" she deadpanned as she 
rose to go in

"Scully, you have quite a violent streak, did anyone ever 
tell you that?"

Within minutes they were nestled in the double bed with 
the blankets pulled up high.  Despite the summer warmth, 
the mountain region got cool at night and Scully was still 
a little clammy from vomiting.  Mulder did not want her 
to catch a chill.

As he lay there he thought about the remote cabin where 

Scully gave birth to their son and how she was the bravest 
woman he had ever met in the face of horrible danger.






"She's inside. She needs to get to the hospital" Reyes 
anxiously tells him

He quickly turns into the ramshackle room and at first cannot 
focus in the darkness.  Cannot see her or the baby.  Then he 
hears "Mulder" gasped from the other side of the room and he 
sees her. 

She is propped up on an iron bed holding a bundle to her 
chest and is covered in blood.  Then the smell of blood, dust, 
urine, and vomit hits him as he crosses the room quickly to 
be at her side.  His heart is pounding so hard he's sure it's 
leaping from his chest.

"Scully, you're okay, you're okay" he says like a mantra as he 
kneels next to her and wipes her hair from her face

"They didn't take him Mulder and you're here" she gasps as she 
reaches out for him

"I'm here and everything is going to be just fine.  I just need 
you to hang in here with me just a bit longer, ok?" he says as 
he kisses her cold, clammy hand

"Okay" she whispers

"I have a helicopter, we're getting you to the hospital"

"The baby...." she begins

Then he notices her head lull to the side and the grey pallor 
of her skin.

"Scully?" he asks as he leans in tapping her cheek

Then there is a rush air behind him. He turns to see the door 
has been propped open and Monica is running toward him.

"The chopper is ready to take her.  Mulder you have to get her 
to a hospital to deliver the placenta.  It's not coming out"

"I think she's unconscious Monica.  What the hell happened 
here?!"

"You have a son" Monica says tersely as she lifts the bundle 
from Scully's chest and runs out of the cabin.

Mulder then really looks at the woman he loves.  Her chest is 
exposed, her legs spread wide open, her arms dropped at her 
sides, blood covers her and there is vomit on the floor next 
to her.  It is a horror show and Mulder needs to get her out 
of there.

He lifts her to his chest and jogs out the door, never looking 
back. While in the helicopter Mulder holds her tightly to him 
hoping that the adrenaline rushing through his body will somehow 
be magically transferred to her.  Monica sits up front with 
the baby that Mulder has not even looked at, and seems to be 
swaying in her seat as she holds him. 

Scully starts to shiver and Mulder notices that she is covered 
in a cold sweat that has drenched the bloody sheet she is 
wrapped in.  He cautiously removes his jacket while still 
holding her and peels the damp crusty sheet from her legs.  
Her body flops around freely in his arms.  He pushes her arms 
into his jacket and wraps the wool blanket laying next to him 
around her bloodied legs.  

A million questions race through his mind: How could Agent 
Doggett send her to such a horrible place to have a child?  
What happened while she was giving birth? How much blood has 
Scully lost?  Why is the placenta making her so ill?  Is the 
baby okay?

They arrive at the hospital in a flurry of activity.  ER 
doctors meet them on the helipad and immediately snatch 
Scully from his arms and place her on a gurney.  The baby 
is lifted from Monica's arms and in seconds the two patients 
are hustled away and into the elevator.   Mulder and Monica 
are left standing on a rooftop helipad covered in blood.

"Monica, what the hell happened?" 

"What the hell happened?" she curtly laughs "what the hell 
didn't happen?"

"I want some answers"

"Oh that's rich coming from the man who sent her to a remote 
cabin without running water and with a woman who is not an MD 
to have your baby"

"I didn't send her there"

"Yeah, but you didn't do anything to not send her there"

"What the hell are you getting at?" he asks frustrated

"Mulder, you saw this coming.  Hell, we all saw this coming, 
and instead of doing something about this you wait until the 
eleventh hour and pull this remote destination crap out of a 
hat"

"What else was I supposed to do?"

"How about be with the woman who is having your son?  Instead 
of all this macho protection garbage, what she really needed 
was you there, holding her hand, helping her get through this 
horror of a delivery.  I know, I was there."

"You...you don't know anything about us" he said as he walked 
toward the elevator

"I know more than you think.  More than you want to 
acknowledge" she yells after him

"Oh, yeah.  Well, share this wealth of knowledge with me why 
don't you?" he says as he turns toward her

"You love her but she scares the crap out of you.  As brave 
as you are at work, you are a coward when it comes to love.  
You'd rather think you were doing a noble act by sacrificing 
yourself then taking part in your life.  That baby forces you 
to make a decision that you don't want to make.  How am I 
doing so far?"

"Monica..."

"Mulder," she calms "I am trying to see your side of this, 
but today...today that woman went to hell and back and I hope 

that you realize she will never ask you for anything in return.  
You just need to give her everything"

Just then the door to the elevator opens and a nurse rushes 
out. 

"Mr. Mulder, you need to get downstairs.  Ms Scully has 
regained consciousness and is refusing a blood transfusion 
because she claims we stole her baby"

Mulder ran for the elevator pushed the button down and watched 
as the doors closed on Monica standing on the helipad, covered 
in blood and looking exhausted.  He knew she was right and 
tears stung his eyes as he rode down to the ER.






Mulder's thoughts were interrupted by scurrying outside the 
cabin and the distinct sound of a raccoon foraging in the woods 
around them.  The raccoon's chatter was loud and Scully stirred.

"What is that?" she groggily inquired

"It's just a raccoon.  Go back to sleep, Scully"

"It's hard with all that noise.  Is it just one raccoon?" 
she asked rising from the bed

"I think so," he said as he joined her at the window looking 
in the blackness of the woods.

"God, it's really remote out here huh?"

"Very"

"I like the quiet but, at times like this is really does make 
you feel like you are truly on your own"

"I'm here" Mulder offered as he wrapped his arms around her 
from behind

"You always are" 

"Well, from now on at least" he mumbled into her shoulder

"No Mulder, you have always been with me, here" she said as 
she placed his hand over her heart "even when you weren't with 
me in body"

"I wish I was with you more in the past Scully"

"I know, but that's the past.  We can't change it"

"Yeah, but we can regret it"

"No regrets Mulder.  I have come to see that life is too short 
to spend all my time figuring out how things could have been 
different.  One wrong move and everything would change, and 
that, I couldn't stand"

"Scully, when we get to Virginia..."

"Yes?"

"I'll do whatever it takes to make life as normal for you as 
possible.  I want you to have that, and I want to give that to 
you"

"Mulder, how about we see when we get there?" she chuckles 
attempting to lighten the mood

"No, Scully.  You have always given me everything I needed and 
wanted, and even some things I didn't know I needed." he sighed 
"Now, you need simple and normal, you need a home.  I have that 
to give to you and I'm going to do just that"

"This is really important to you isn't it?"

"Scully, when I bought that house a year ago I knew that one day 
it would be our home.  I want it to be that, a home"

"It will be Mulder." she said as she leaned back and smiled 
"Wherever you are, is home to me" 


****************


Mulder walked into the cabin with a towel tightly wrapped around 
his hips and dripping all over the place.

"Mulder!" Scully cried from the sink

"What?" he asked with a grin

"You couldn't towel off outside instead of bringing half the river 
in here?"

"But then you would miss the show" he said as he dropped his towel 
off his hips and sauntered around naked while he dried himself off

"I'm going to be seeing enough of your penis over the next few 
days, I don't think I need the show now" 

"Killjoy" he said as he reached for some pants

"Don't put those on yet Mulder"

"Ahhh, see I knew my unabashed nudity was a turn on"


"Actually, I need to shave you for when James arrives"

"What?"

"The area" she stumbles "needs to be hair free for the procedure"

"Oh" he said looking down "how hair free?"

"Pretty naked" she replied with a shrug

"You want to do that now?"

"Yes, in case I nick you it needs time to heal a bit before James 
arrive so there's no infection"

"Nick me?"

"Mulder, I have shaved a million patients.  I'm sure you'll be 
just fine"

"If you say so.  But remember Scully, its James whose doing the 
vasectomy so don't get any funny ideas with that razor in your 
hands"

Scully laughed and turned to him with shaving cream, scissors 
and a razor in hand. "Ok, get comfortable"

Mulder lay down on the bed and looked at her strangely

"What?" she asked

"I was just thinking of the last time you gave me a shave"

"I've never shaved this region Mulder"

"No, but you have given me a shave"









It was the first morning of the new millennium.  Mulder woke in 
his bed alone and aching.  Scully had driven him home after the 
hospital, drugged him, and tucked him in.  He wanted her to stay 
but she said she'd be back in the morning.  

She had been acting strangely since her return from Africa.  
Mulder couldn't blame her.  Between his stay in the loony bin, 
his brain surgery, her discovery in Africa, Diana's death, and 
everything in between their life together had been very odd 
lately.  It seemed as if she had backed away from him, distancing 
herself from what they used to have as a couple and what Mulder 
desperately wanted to get back.

He had kissed her at the stroke of midnight, the first time in 
over a month, because he wanted to, because he loved her, because 
he wanted to show her that they could go back to the way things 
had been.  They had not had sex since the summer and Mulder felt 
that if he didn't start to push her a little, things could settle 
back into their post-romantic rhythm of teasing and not acting.  
She responded strangely to the kiss and didn't say anything about 
it afterwards.

It was now 9am and Mulder knew that if he didn't start moving soon 
his body would really stiffen up.  He gingerly lifted himself from 
the mattress and walked toward his bathroom hoping a shower would 
get rid of his foggy mind.  The shower itself was painful.  The 
heat from the water burned his scratches.  Having to clean himself 
with his opposite hand was awkward and more then a few times he 
banged his sore elbow against the tiles.  All in all, he was happy 
to get out of the stream of water and onto the tile floor.  As he 
stood there attempting to clumsily towel off he heard something in 
the kitchen.  

"Scully?"

"Yeah, it's me" he heard but the rest of her words were muffled by 
the loud fan in his washroom.

"I'll be out in a minute" he yelled back

"Don't worry about it.  I'm just dropping some food off." she said 
as he walked into his bedroom

He walked unabashedly naked from the bathroom knowing that if he 
waited another two minutes to get dressed she would be out the door 
and he wouldn't hear from her until the requisite phone call before 
bed.  She would call to make sure he took his medication. He was 
determined to change the way she was acting toward him.

"Scully, can't you stay?" he asked as he rounded the corner and 
almost walked right into Mrs. Scully.

"Mulder!" Scully yelled

"Ahhh,  ahhh, Mrs. Scully" he said as he covered himself with his 
hands and quickly retreated to his bedroom

"Oh my!" was all Mulder heard from her mother as his ass rounded 
the corner

He threw on some pants, took a minute to compose himself and walked 
red-faced into his kitchen ready to apologize.  

"Mrs. Scully, I am soo..."

"No, I'm sorry Fox.  You were obviously unaware of my presence in 
your home" she quickly interrupted 

"Uh, Mrs. Scully, I normally don't greet your daughter naked" was 
all he could think of to reply

"Mulder," Scully interjected, trying to change the subject  "didn't 
you hear me say my mother was with me?"

"If I did, I would have had some clothes on" he sarcastically 
replied

"Let's just chalk it up to one big misunderstanding.  And, it's 
nothing I haven't seen before, so there's no need to stand there 
red as a tomato Fox.  Dana," she said turning to her daughter 
"I'll meet you downstairs"

"Okay, mom.  I'll just be a minute"

"Fox, it was nice seeing you" she snickered "all of you"

Mulder plastered a fake grin on his face as she left his apartment.

"Mulder, I..." Scully began

"Scully, I can't believe" he started as he covered his eyes with his 
hands "I just walked into you mother buck naked"

"Well, that's one way to start the new year" was all she could 
chuckle back

"You...you planned this" he said pointing at her

"I did no such thing" she defended herself "how could I possibly 
plan this scenario, Mulder?  No, this one was all your doing"

"What are you doing bringing your mother to my place at 9:30 in 
the morning anyways?"

"My Aunt Edna hosts a New Year's brunch every January first.  My 
mother and I were on our way there and I was stopping by with 
some food from my fridge so you didn't starve"

"Oh" he relented "well you could have given me some more warning"


"I called and left a message"

Mulder's head swung around to reveal a blinking light on his 
answering machine.

"Oh"

"Look Mulder, I have to go.  My mom is waiting downstairs"

"Scully" he began as he rubbed his forehead trying to ward off the 
headache that was coming on "will you be back again later?"

"I wasn't planning on it"

Mulder was sick of all this cat and mouse shit.  He stood up and 
pulled her toward him with his good arm and kissed her 
passionately.  

"That, is how I wanted to kiss you last night." he said with a  
seductive grin "Happy New Year Scully"

"Happy New Year Mulder" she said breathlessly

"Please come back later.  I want better memories of New Year's 
Day then the ones I have so far"

"Okay"

"Okay?"

She released herself from his embrace "I'll be back later"

Mulder had found ways to occupy himself for most of the day and 
around 2 o'clock Scully re-appeared. He opened the door as she 
was knocking.

"Oh" she was surprised "miss me much?"

"Always" he said as he reached to grab her again

"Mulder, you are going to damage your arm more if you keep 
grabbing me like that"

"I happen to know a great doctor who can re-set it for me" he 
whispered as he nibbled on her earlobe

"Oh" she sighed "do you?"

"Yes" he said as he worked his way down her neck "and she even 
makes house calls"

"Hopefully not with her mother?"

Mulder quickly pulled away "Is your mother here?"

"No" she giggled 

"Good" he said as he resumed kissing his way down her chest

"Mulder?"

"Yes?"

"How long has it been since you shaved?"

"What?"

"Shaved? How long since you've shaved?"

"A couple of days, why?"

"You're scratching my skin like crazy"

"Sorry" he moved back "I'll stop"

"No" she held him close to her "I have a better idea"

She walked to his bathroom and returned with supplies.  She 
motioned for him to take a seat on the kitchen table and he 
did so obligingly. She took her place between his legs.

"You really hate stubble this much Scully?"

"I'm worried about having stubble burn on my thighs" she 
countered

"Well, if that is an invitation to spend some time between 
your thighs after all this is done, please shave away"

"It has been a while, hasn't it?" she asked as she lathered 
him up


"That it has.  Why is that?" he ventured

She sighed and focused on her first up stroke

"Scully?"

"It guess things have felt different lately" she conceded

"Different how?"

"Mulder, it's just that...Oh, I don't know" she said as she 
took another stroke across his cheek

He held her wrist before she could continue "Scully, just say 
it"

"You know, I feel stupid even mentioning it.  It's like if I 
don't say it you won't see what an idiot I can be"

"I'd never think that of you.  Please, just tell me" 

He let go of her wrist and she resumed shaving him.

"When you were...when you were unconscious in that facility"

"Yes?"

"You dreamed about a  whole other existence.  An existence 
without..."

"You" Mulder offered

"Yes, and a life with her.  With kids and a house.  By all 
accounts, you were happy"

"I was"

"Why is that?"

"Why is what?"

"Why, when given the chance to have a happy future with 
someone, did your mind choose her?"

"Scully, I've actually thought about that a lot"

"And, have you anything to offer?"

"I think that..." he started "and please, hear me out 
completely before you draw any conclusions?"

"I will" she said as she continued to shave

"I think that, in my mind, life with Diana was a simple 
alternative.  She didn't question me, she didn't stand 
in my way, she only wanted to please me.  It was easy and  
uncomplicated.  She had everything to offer me, a home, 
kids, a doting wife.  And, I think that I could fall in 
love with that for a while." he paused looking at her 
squarely in the eye "But not forever"

"So, did you fall in love?"

"In a weird, non-real way, yes, I guess I did"

"Do you regret that you don't have that?" she whispered


"No, because that wasn't real.  In some alternate universe 
there must be a Fox Mulder living happy as a clam reading 
the Sunday paper and watching his kids play in the yard as 
his wife darns his socks.  But I am not that alternate 
universe Mulder.  I'm here, with you, and I wouldn't have 
it any other way"

"You sure?"

"Look Scully," he says as he places his hands around her 
waist "that world was not right for me.  It took me a while 

to figure it out, but nothing was right without you.  That 
is what makes me happy.  Having you in my life.  Not Diana, 
not a house, not kids.  All I need is you.  Once I realized 
that, the fake world started to fall apart because I wasn't 
buying into it anymore.  That world, and my existence in it, 
wasn't meant to last forever.  We are.  You and me, together.  
Because, if, in reality you weren't part of my life..."

"I know" she offered


"No, I think you need to hear it." he interjected "if in 
reality you weren't part of my life, there would be no 
life worth living.  I love you Scully, and I always will.  
You're it for me"

She put down the razor and leaned into him touching his 
forehead with hers.

"And you're it for me Mulder"

"Are we good?" he whispers


"We are" she smiles "and you are a handsome well-shaven man" 

He returns her smile and tilts his head to kiss her softly 
on the lips.  

He hops off the table and silently walks her to his bedroom 
where he tests the smoothness of his skin for the rest of 
the day.










"All done" Scully announces from her spot kneeling between 
his legs

"Dare I look?" Mulder winces

"It does look a little weird" she offers

"Great"


"Well, it's not like that region will be seeing any action 
for a while"

"I guess not" he humphs

"But," she offers with a grin "it might see some action 
right now"

"Scully, I don't think we should..." 

All words stopped as she wrapped her lips around the head 
of his penis.

"Ohhh" he offered in realization

She started by slowly pulling her mouth along his shaft 
feeling it grow harder with each pull.  She cupped his balls 
and rolled them loosely between her fingers gently massaging 
them.  

"That's nice" he growled as his cock became fully erect

She ran her tight mouth up and down his shaft while her 
tongue placed pressure on his hard cock. She finished each 
stroke by twirling her tongue around his head once she got 
to the top.  The pressure was intense and Mulder found himself 
panting as he lay back on the bed.  Her hands continued to 
massage his balls and roll them between her fingers.  

Mulder was starting to see stars and planets as he closed 
his eyes.  She then took her moist, wet, mouth off his cock 
and started to suck on his hairless balls.  Gently tugging 
them inside her mouth as her hand pumped his penis.  

Mulder felt the pressure start to build in his penis as Scully 
moved from his balls back to his penis again.  Working it with 
her hands and mouth in a rhythmic motion until he exploded 
into her mouth.  His wet juices hitting the back of her throat 
as she swallowed hard.  After he was done coming she released 
his cock with a gentle 'pop' sound and lay down on the bed 
next to him.

"That was amazing" Mulder panted

"I thought you liked it" she giggled

They lay together on the bed for almost an hour taking in the 
heat of the day and the closeness of the other.  Scully was the 
first to break the silence

"I better get some lunch together, it's almost one"

"You lay there and rest," Mulder said as he rose "I've got 
lunch"

They ate their sandwiches in companionable silence and spent 
the remainder of the afternoon reading.  Mulder trying to get 
his mind off the upcoming procedure, and Scully trying to think 
of ways to keep Mulder calm while the vasectomy was taking 
place.

James arrived by car just after 6:30 in the evening and it was 
the first non-wilderness noise they had heard in two days.

"James" Scully cheerfully greeted him as he walked toward the 
cabin

"Dana," he smiled "I'm sorry I'm later then I thought I'd be.  
I got held up at the clinic"


"No worries" she offered

"Hi James" Mulder said from the porch "you've got a great 
cabin here"

"Yes, we do.  We don't get out here as often as I'd like, but 
it's still nice to have the option"

The three people stood and looked at each other in awkward 
silence.

"Why don't we" James offered "get started right away, while 
there's light and before Mulder faints"

Mulder laughed but couldn't help but notice the cold sweat 
that had broken out over his forehead.

James walked past them into the cabin and immediately began 
to set up his equipment.  Mulder and Scully walked inside unsure 
of how to help.

"What do you want me to do James?" Scully asked while rubbing 
her hands together

"Maybe you could shave the region while I set up?"

"Already done" Scully offered

"Wow, you're eager"

"Yes," Mulder snickered "a little too eager"

"Ha, ha" Scully deadpanned

"Clean sheets?" he asked as he poured iodine over his hands 
in the sink

"Yep"

"Well, there's not much else.  I just need to get my stuff 
set up." he put on gloves and turned to open up a sterilized 
equipment pouch "I do something called the no-scalpel 
vasectomy.  It's far less bloody, has just as good results, 
and doesn't involve needles"

"Excuse me, a needle?"

"How else did you think the area would be frozen?" Scully 
asked as she turned toward him

"I was thinking topical cream"


"No, that's not enough.  Trust me Mulder, it's not as painful 
as you are picturing in your head right now" James offered

"Says the man on the other side of the operation" Mulder 
snickered

James laughed, "That is true.  Why don't you get comfortable 
on the bed and we'll get started"

"That sounds like a line Scully used on me once" Mulder 
snickered as he removed his pants and laid down

"Mulder!" Scully swatted at him

Before long James had frozen the region and was starting to 
cut and cauterize one side.  Mulder felt some tugging and 
pinching but so far James had been right.  It wasn't as 
painful as he had envisioned. Scully was leaning over James' 
shoulder as he worked on Mulder's nether-regions.  She 
looked far too interested in the procedure for Mulder's 
liking.

"Mulder, James is now interposing the fascia..."

"Scully, I really don't need the details"

"Okay"

"Thanks"

"How are you doing, Mulder?" James asked

"I'm fine"

"Sure? We can take a break after one side"

"No,  just keep going"

"You know Mulder, you are going to have to take it easy, keep 
your feet up, keep the area chilled and take some pain killers 
over the next few days"

"Got it doc"

"And Dana, you are going to have to check for signs of infection 
and change the dressing"

"No problem James"

"I brought some antibiotics with me just in case there is an 
infection so you don't have to worry about going to a pharmacy"

"Thanks James.  That's really helpful" Scully smiled

"You know James, you were right about one thing"

"What's that?"

"Having Scully do this procedure would have been really weird"

"Yeah, giving your boyfriend a vasectomy is a little off"

"I'm not her boyfriend"

"What?" James and Scully said at once

"I'm too old to be someone's boyfriend.  I'm her man"

They all laughed.

"All done" James said with authority and Scully stood back


"It looks good Mulder.  I have to say, James did this much better, 
and far faster then I could have"

James smiled and turned toward the sink to remove his gloves and 
clean up.

"Only the best" Mulder winced as he tried to rise to look

"Mulder, lay back down and relax" Scully scolded

"I'm feeling a little exposed here, Scully" he pointed to his 
nudity

"Oh" 

She went to one of the shopping bags and opened up a package 
of new underwear.  She walked toward him ready to put his feet 
through the bottoms.

"Tighty whiteys, Scully?"

"You need to keep everything...stable.  Well-fitting jockey 

shorts do the job your boxers won't" she said as she started 
to raise them up his legs

"How long am I in these?"

"Jockey shorts for about 1 week, Mulder" James announced from 
the sink area

"Great" he said as Scully pulled them into place

"No sex, with or without a partner, for the same amount of 
time"

"I'm okay with that" Mulder winced as Scully gently placed a 
frozen bag on peas over his underwear

"You need to ejaculate at least 20 times before testing the 
sample."

"Okay.  How are we going to do that?" Mulder stopped "I mean, 
test the sample"

"Once we get to Virginia I'm going to pick up a microscope"

"Oh, how romantic"

"When Dana gives you the all clear you are officially sterile,
until then use condoms"

"Yippeee" Mulder whimpers from across the room

"How are you feeling now?" James asks she he walks to Mulder's 
side

"Like someone just kicked me in the nuts"

"That's normal"

"Well then, I guess I feel normal"

"Take these" Scully offers him some white pills and a glass 
of water

"Bottoms up" he groans as he sits forward to swallow them

Scully took the glass from him and gently pushed him back onto 
the bed raising his feet with a pillow and draping a sheet 
over him.  

"Just relax and I'll take care of everything" she said as she 
wiped his forehead

"No problem" Mulder groaned

"Thanks for doing this" 

"I'd do anything for you Scully.  Compared to having 
William...this was a cake walk"

She gave him a tightlipped grin and turned to face James.

"James, do you want to stay for some supper?  I have some 
pasta..."

"That would be great.  I'd love to catch up"

"Mulder, you just lay there.  If you're still awake when 
supper's ready I'll bring you some on the bed"

Mulder heard Scully and James chatter in the kitchen area 
about childhood memories as he drifted off into a drug-induced 
sleep.

*************************

Mulder quickly jumped off the Greyhound bus once it pulled into 
the terminal in Buffalo, New York.  He had to go to the washroom 
and he only had 10 minute loading turn-around before his bus was 
departing for Rochester.  He couldn't stand washrooms on buses 
and needed to stretch his legs.  

He had been on the road for 2 days now and had another 2 to go.  
After his vasectomy they had stayed in James' cabin for a few 
days so he could recover and then Scully had taken the first 
bus out of Georgia.  She would be at their house in Virginia 
by now and he was, as usual, taking the scenic route to ensure 
no one followed him.  

The first washroom was packed and a kind porter suggested he 
try one of the washrooms outside, as they were usually less 
busy.  Mulder rounded the corner and opened the door to hear 


"Fuck me hard Jerry" a woman breathlessly gasped from a stall

"God, you have such a wet pussy" a man growled

"I wanna walk funny for days after this" she yelled

"You will baby, you will" he gasped

"Oh, fuuucckkk meeeee" she roared and Mulder took two steps 
back out the door

He found a spot around the back of the building to relieve 
himself and couldn't help but think of the time Scully had 
asked him to fuck her.








They had just taken themselves off the Donnie Pfaster case and 
although he was still at large Mulder and Scully were confidant 
the US Marshals would bring him in.  Their plane had brought 
them in just before  supper time and Mulder had invited Scully 
up to his apartment to work on the report.  In reality, he 
wanted to talk with Scully and make sure she was okay.  It had 
been a long flight and Scully had taken him up on the offer of 
pizza and a report. 

"Hey Scully, you want to call the number on the fridge? You can 
order whatever type of pizza you like and I promise not to 
complain" he said as he walked toward his bedroom

"Wow, Mulder.  Why so generous?"

"Let's just say I'd do anything to get you into my Knicks jersey"

"What?" she asked confused

"Catch" he yelled as he tossed it at her "get comfortable Scully, 

it's going to be a long report"

He heard her laugh from the kitchen as he went to the washroom to 
splash some water on his face.  It had been an emotionally 
difficult case for him, but especially for her.  He wanted to 

add some levity to the evening.

As he unbuttoned his shirt and lifted it from his body he felt two 
warm arms wrap around his waist from behind.  

"Well, hello" he said surprised

He turned in her arms to find Scully standing in his bedroom dressed 
in nothing but his Knicks jersey and a smile.

"Scully, you have just made fantasy 36 a reality"

She laughed and brushed a wayward strand of hair behind her ear 
"Really? Have I?"

"Well, not exactly. If you could just say 'let's play skins' that 
would complete the fantasy" he snickered

"How about, fuck me Mulder?"

"Pardon?"

"Fuck me, Mulder" 

"Okkkkaaaayy.  You've never said that before"

"Maybe because it feels dirty.  Maybe I want to feel a little dirty 
tonight"

"Do you?"

"Yes, I do" she purred as she ran her hands up his chest

In a moment he was devouring her lips and jabbing his tongue as far 
as it would reach into her moist, wet, mouth.  His hands were up her 
jersey and grabbing at her breasts as her hips grinded against his 
dangling belt buckle.  He released her mouth and started to track 
kissed down her neck and shoulder.  

"God, fuck me Mulder" she gasped as his hands found her vagina and 
his fingers started to invade her


He turned them around and pushed her back onto the bed forcefully.  
He spread her legs, pulled her to the edge of his bed and dropped 
to his knees in front of her.  His tongue lapped within her folds 
while his fingers continued to pump inside of her and his hot breath 
was sending her over the edge.

"Oh, gooooddddd" she whispered as he vaginal walls palpitated around 
his fingers.

"You like that, huh? he asked knowing the answer

"Yes...yes" she gasped

His tongue was inside her before she could react.  He was nipping at 
her and licking her as she wiggled around him. His hot mouth 
enveloping her, warming her from inside and out.

"Oh Mulder, it's too much" she gasped as she tried to move away

His hands grabbed her ass more firmly then before to hold her in 

place "Scully, don't run from it, enjoy it" he begged


"I am it's just...it's just...a little too much...uh...sensory 
overload" she gasped trying to find the words


"You did ask me to fuck you" he growled "now let me do my job"

"Okay...okay" she conceded "it's just my head is spinning"

"That's a good thing" he remarked "do you want me to slow down?"

"No...no. god, no" she gasped

He immediately put his mouth back on her and allowed his tongue 
to do slow languorous laps around her vagina walls.  She was 
grinding herself against him when he withdrew his mouth and stood 
up looming over her.  

"I want you from behind" he muttered

She opened her eyes to look at him inquisitively

"You wanted dirty Scully"

"That I did" she replied as she turned herself around and got up 
on her hands and knees arching her ass toward him

He dropped his boxers and pants to the floor with a 'thunk' and 
positioned himself behind her at the edge of the bed.

He dipped two fingers in her vagina to ensure that she was wet and 
then guided his cock into her.  Her vaginal walls tightened around 
his shaft and he grabbed her hips as he prepared to move in and 
out of her.

He slammed into her thrusting harder each time.  She met him with 
equal force pushing her ass checks against him and arching her back 
more with each thrust.  With his feet firmly in place he was able 
to apply a lot of force to each thrust and she gasped each time.  
He knew he was hitting just the right spot on her cervix and was 
determined to hit it each and every thrust.   

He loved watching her in his jersey as he moved within her.  He 
loved it when she started to grind her ass in circular motions 
making him explode inside of her.  He loved that after he came 
she lay flat on her stomach and pulled him on top of her while he 
wrapped his arms around the top of her head.  

He soon rolled off of her, not wanting to crush her, and laid with 
her in his arms until she said she had to go. The report would be 
done tomorrow, for now she wanted to get home and go to bed.

Mulder walked her to her car and returned to order a pizza and watch 
some TV.  








Mulder found his seat on the bus again and discovered that the bus 

was fuller than before and he had a new seat-mate.

"Excuse me ma'am can I get through to the window"

"Oh, sure son.  Let me just get my cane and I'll get out of your 
way"

"Would...would you prefer the window?" Mulder asked "If you want we 
can just switch seats"

"That would be just fine" she said as she raised the arm rest and 
slid over

"No problem" Mulder offered as he sat down.

The African-American woman was at least eighty and had a crossword 
neatly folded on her lap.  

"So, what are you going to Rochester for?" she politely inquired

"I'm visiting  my cousin.  She just had her first baby" Mulder lied

"Oh, that's nice"

"May I ask ma'am, why your headed to Rochester?" Mulder inquired

"I'm visiting my son Donnie.  It's his retirement party this 
weekend.  For forty five years he's worked for an elevator 
company.  They are throwing him a big party"

"Oh, that sounds nice"

"Yes, it will be.  My Donnie is a good boy.  He deserves a party"

"I'm sure he does" Mulder said as he turned his attention away from 
her and she picked up her crossword again










Mulder had felt 'off' the night Donnie attacked Scully.  When 
he set his alarm that song Scully had been obsession about was 
playing.  He found himself calling her apartment, unable to 
sleep, and circling his apartment like a caged lion.  It was 
then he noticed the message light blinking on his answering 
machine.  The message from the Marshal immediately set him 
in motion.  He had his gun and was out the door before the 
machine re-set itself.  

What he had expected to do was get Scully and take her back to his 
apartment for safety.  He knew she would argue, but he also knew 
that in the end he would win, and she's be safe with him.  What 
he found was totally different.  

He could hear the song Scully had been obsessing about from the 
hallway and knew immediately that Donnie was in her apartment.  
When he burst through the door he was sure Donnie had seriously 
hurt or possibly killed Scully.  It was a relief to see her 
battered and bruised form emerge from her bedroom.  He had 
not expected the gun.

As soon as Donnie fell to the ground, Mulder was at her side 
pulling the gun from her shaking hands and grasping her tightly 
against him.  She cried in his arms and he felt her choking back 
sobs as he examined her for damage.  The sirens began in the 
background and before a few minutes had passed Mulder was showing 
his badge to the officers who reported to the scene and advising 
the paramedics that Donnie was indeed dead.  

Scully was questioned, as was he.  The officers on the scene were 
treating it like self defense and he had been all but assured that 
no charges would be laid.  It struck Mulder as he packed Scully's 
bag in her bedroom that she was wearing a pair of his pajamas.  

"I've been looking for these" he smiled as he grabbed her collar

"Uh, yeah,....I've got them"

"So I see" he said as he pulled some underwear from a drawer to 
put in her bag

"You don't mind, do you?" she asked with all sincerity

"Me? No." he answered as he went to her closet "My question for 
you is, why?" 

She chuckled and looked down at her hands.

"What?" he asked as he passed her some folded jeans and a shirt 
to put on

"They make me feel safe" she spat "lotta good they did me 
tonight"

"You kept yourself safe tonight Scully"

She grimaced as she started to peel off the pajamas.

"Scully, let me get a paramedic in here" he said as he walked 
toward her bedroom door

"No.  I'll see my doctor in the morning" she snapped

"It's just that..." 

"Just nothing Mulder.  All I need is your help getting these 
clothes on right now"

"Fine" he relented as he undid the buttons on the top and 
pulled it away from her

He could see the bruises, cuts, scratches and welts that 
riddled her torso.  By all accounts it was a brutal knock 
down fight and Scully had taken quite a few hits.  He knew 
she wouldn't want him to comment so he continued to take off 
her pants.

"I need clean underwear"

"I've packed some in the bag" Mulder offered as he pulled a shirt 
down over her head

"No, um, Mulder.  I need clean underwear for now.  All the 
fighting caused me to leak semen all over my underpants.  
They're soaked"

"Oh" he said a little shocked "I'm sorry, I'll get you a fresh 
pair" 

He rose to go to her dresser and get the desired item.

"You know that kept running through my head when he had me 
tied up"

"What?" he asked as he returned with the underwear

"That when they found my body and they did the autopsy they 
would find your semen intermixed with his inside of me" 

Tears started to roll down her cheek.  

"Oh, Scully" he offered as he wrapped her in his arms

"I couldn't imagine two more different people occupying the 
same space inside of me" she sniffled

"He didn't touch you, did he?" Mulder asked even though 
Scully had not reported any sexual assault


"No" she offered "but I knew he would after the bath"


Her sobs grew louder and a counselor for victims came into the 
room.  She stepped forward attempting to introduce herself 
but Mulder immediately shooed her away with a wave of his arm.  
He was sure Scully did not want anyone seeing her standing 
in her underwear crying her heart out.  

Scully stopped crying after a while and Mulder managed to get 
her dressed and out of that circus of an apartment.  The 
counselor pressed her card into Scully's hand as they left 
and Mulder hoped Scully would call her, although he doubted 
it. 

She stayed at his place for over a week and Mulder was going 
to propose moving in together permanently when one day she 
packed up and went home.  He knew she needed to prove to 
herself she could go back there.  She stayed at her place 
every night for quite a while, almost as if she was willing 
it to go away.  In fact, the next time she stayed at Mulder's, 
his mother had killed herself.









The bus jerked to a halt as a tractor trailer cut in front of 
it.  Mulder could hear the bus driver murmur 'Jackass' as he 
swerved to avoid him.  The elderly lady next to him was jolted 
from her crossword-induced nap.

"What happened?" she groggily asked

"We were cut off" Mulder dryly replied

"Buses are supposed to be safer than cars.  That's why I 
don't drive this far on my own" 

"Yeah, but tell that to the tractor trailer" Mulder quipped
"Yeah, I guess we can't read each other's minds" she observed

"If we could we'd probably find out more then we bargained 
for"

"Ain't that true!" she laughed and turned back toward her 
crossword

The bus rolled ahead toward Scully.  Mulder thought of how 
much he learned about her and everyone else around him when 
he could hear their thoughts.  What he wouldn't give now to 
hear Scully's thoughts as she settled into their new home.


************************

Mulder dragged his feet up the long road leading to their home.  
Although it was only 6 pm it was dark and rainy.  He was soaked 
through and he wanted to get to the house and not leave for 
about 3 years.  All the bus transfers and crappy motels had 
finally got to him and he was spent.  Days of insufficient 
sleep and constantly being in motion had made him weary and 
miserable.

He knew Scully had been there for about 3 days now and, knowing 
Scully, was knee deep in boxes she'd hauled from the garage.  He 
had ordered many things by phone and online since he bought the 
house, some essentials that would make starting a new life 
together much easier.  He had them all shipped to the house 
and stored in the garage.  He didn't know when, or if, they 
would ever need these things so he had planned for....

"Shit!" Mulder cursed as he stopped dead in his tracks

He thought of the fake ID's that also had William's name on 
them.  Well, not William, but Charles Hewitt, their son.  Mulder 
had the baby added to the family just after he was born.  He had 
failed to tell Scully this.

"Fucking idiot" he cursed himself as the rain pelted down

He had also ordered things for William.  He had a twin bed, 
mattress, bedding, bookshelves, a desk, and miscellaneous 
sports equipment all sitting in that garage.  He had not even 
thought about the ID and those things and now, if Scully were 
to just come across them without him there...

Despite his fatigue Mulder started to run down the road.  The 
chances that Scully had already come across the items was pretty 
good, but he couldn't waste another minute getting to her.  He 
had been running for about 2 miles when he spotted it up ahead 
on the road.  There was a faint light on in the front room and 
some curtains were drawn.  Funny, he hadn't remembered to get 
curtains.  There was a car in the driveway as well. He knew he 
had not ordered that.  Mulder squinted his eyes to look at the 
house more closely through the downpour.  That was the house.  

He jogged the remaining half mile and cautiously opened the gate.  
Approaching the house slowly he thought of Scully and hoped she 
was alone in the house.  He hoped they had not been found out.  
But, the likelihood that the FBI would park in their driveway 
was pretty slim.  He walked up to the door and knocked.  

The door opened quickly and Scully pulled him into her arms.

"You're here and you're safe" she said into his chest

"I am" he said as he crumpled into her

He immediately took in his surroundings.  There was jazz music 
playing on the stereo and something smelled delicious in the 
kitchen.  Scully had a half-full glass of  white wine sitting 
on the floor near a box.  Half-opened boxes were everywhere and 
piles of house ware items littered the room.

"You've been busy" Mulder commented noting the twin mattress in 
the middle of the floor

"I have, and you must be tired and starving" she said as she tried 
to relieve him of his drenched backpack

"You made me something?"

"Well, I didn't know when you'd be in, whether it was today or 
tomorrow. So, I have some homemade pasta sauce that should be about 
ready.  I just need to boil the noodles"

"Sounds wonderful" he said shedding himself of his wet coat and 
shoes

"Why don't you grab a nice shower and, by the time you're out, 
I should have everything ready"

"Scully, you have not said one thing I don't agree with so far"

"Good" she smiled

"Uh, are you finding everything okay?" Mulder ventured

"You had a lot of fun ordering all this" she grinned

"I did.  I did." he smiled "I am sure I forgot some things though" 

Mulder leaned over and peered into a box.  Flipping though the 
contents quickly.

"You forgot curtains, unless they are in another box buried in that 
garage?"

"I did forget curtains.  So, you got these?" he said pointing to 
the front window

"Yeah, I hiked into town, bought a car..."

"I noticed"

"Like it?" she grinned "It's 2 years old, off lease, paid in full.  
I got a good deal"

"Looks great" he offered with a smile "You accessed the accounts 
okay?"

"Yes.  I had no probelms Mulder."

"Good" he said relieved 

"I got some curtains, some groceries and some fresh clothes, you 
like?" she asked as she turned around in a sundress

"I do like" Mulder said as he grabbed her waist and pulled her 
toward him

"Mulder, you'll get me all wet"

"That's the plan" he said as he leaned in to give her a slow 
passionate kiss

She kissed him back and Mulder could tell she was relaxing within 
his embrace.  He knew she was happy to have him there, to start 
their life together, again.  

"You like the house?" he asked as he released her 

"It's wonderful Mulder.  Perfect for privacy but also close 
enough that I can go into town and get anything we need." she 
said looking around the living room "It's big enough that we won't 
get in each others way, but not so big that it's hard to maintain.  
You did well, kid"

"Speaking of which..." he drew in a deep breath

"I found his stuff Mulder" she said frankly

"I saw you had the mattress out, and figured..."

"I know you are worried about it upsetting me. But you know Mulder, 
I actually find it very heartwarming." she paused to look into 
his eyes deeply "To think of you choosing things for our son....
you...you didn't have much time with him.  I guess this kind of 
makes me realize how much he has always meant to you"

"He means the world to me Scully"

"I know.  I know"

"Scully, I can just take his stuff back out to the garage again"

"No, that's silly.  We can use the bookcase and desk in the house.  
As for the bed, it's always good to have an extra one in case one 
of us is ever sick and doesn't want to infect the other." she 
lowered her head to her chest and rubbed the back of her neck  
"Uh, maybe I can drive the sports equipment into the local community 
centre and they can use it for their programs.  It'd be nice to see 
some kids getting use from it"

He lifted her chin with his finger and looked her right in the eyes. 
"That is a really nice idea, William would approve"

He gave him a tight-lipped smile and turned to go back to the 
kitchen.

"You better get in that shower.  I'm putting the noodles on, you 
have about 15 minutes"

"You don't have to tell me twice" Mulder said as he climbed the 
stairs

"Oh, and Mulder?"

"Yeah?" he asked from the top of the stairs

"Doctors Without Borders?"

"Oh yeah.  I figured in case you ever wanted to get back into 
medicine it was good for your resume, Irene"

"What about checking the reference?"

"Langley's brother is a bigwig at their US office.  He'll back it 
up"

"You thought of everything" she muttered from below

He smiled and walked to the washroom. 

He shed his wet clothes and threw them into a basket Scully had 
sitting on the floor.  The water in the shower was refreshing.  As 
wet as he was from the rain some nice soap and water made him feel 
like a new man.  He emerged from the shower stall feeling a bit 
like a noodle himself.  He wanted nothing more than to crawl into 
bed with Scully and sleep for a few days, but he knew she would 
want him to eat something first.  


He found some clean shorts and t-shit in a GAP bag and pulled them 
on.  Scully had apparently gone shopping for him as well.  He was 
going to propose burning the rest of their worn clothes in a 
campfire later this week.  He was sure Scully would agree.

The smell of the pasta, the sound of the jazz CD, and the feel of a 
real roof over his head overwhelmed Mulder as he walked down the 
stairs.  They were finally home.  He walked into the kitchen with 
a grin spread from one ear to the next.

"That must have been some shower" she smiled at him as she put 
pasta on two plates

"I'm just really happy to be here, with you, in our home" he said 
as he wrapped his arms around her from behind and rested his chin 
on her shoulder

"So am I" she said as she grated parmesan on top

"This looks amazing Scully, you made this from scratch?"

"I did.  I am actually looking forward to trying some recipes in 
those cookbooks I found" she said gesturing to the pile on the 
counter

"Yeah, I figured we could both use some help in the cuisine 
department" Mulder quipped as he grabbed his glass of wine and 
took a drink

"Are you ready to eat?  I've got a blanket spread on the floor.  
We'll have to carry in all the big stuff tomorrow"

"An indoor picnic.  Sounds perfect" Mulder commented as he put 
down his wine, picked up both their plates and walked toward the 
blanket

Scully grabbed the glasses and followed him.  There was the rest 
of the wine bottle and some fresh bread waiting on the blanket, 
a dim lamp was illuminating the area from the corner and he 
noticed Scully turn down the volume on the CD player. All in 
all, it was a very romantic setting for their first night in
their new home.

They happily ate together while Mulder relayed stories from the road 
and Scully told him about her wheeling and dealing with the Used 
Car salesman.  He told her about the couple having sex in the 
washroom in Buffalo, and she told him about ordering a microscope 
that should be in by the weekend.  

When they were done eating Scully started the dishes and Mulder 
played with the stereo tuning in a radio station instead.

"I wonder what kind of news they get around here" he said as he 
picked up a dish towel

"Lots of local news but they do have national reports at 6 pm.  
We should think about ordering a satellite dish"

"I'll call a couple companies and see who can set it up fastest.  
You know there are all kinds of different packages that we can 
get  like BBC World News and..."

"Mulder, shhh" Scully said as she put her wet hand on his chest

"What, you hear something?  Is someone outside?" Mulder was 
immediately alert

"No,  it's this song, listen"

Mulder listened to the radio.  It sounded like the Bee Gees.  




"And you come to me on a summer breeze 
Keep me warm in your love and then softly leave 
And its me you need to show"


 

"What about it?" Mulder asked

"This was the song playing in Kroner the night we danced"

"Okay" he was still not sure of the significance 

"Mulder, it was this song that convinced me to become intimate 
with you"

He listened to the lyrics more closely, sure that Scully knew some 
meaning in them that he did not.



 
"cause were living in a world of fools 
Breaking us down 
When they all should let us be 
We belong to you and me"





"Dance with me, Scully" Mulder smiled as he offered her his hand

She took it and they swayed around the kitchen dancing for 
the second time to the Bee Gees.  Mulder then understood how these 
lyrics would cause Scully to take a leap forward in their 
relationship.  A leap, that up until Kroner, she had been 
avoiding. 



 
"I believe in you 
You know the door to my very soul 
You're the light in my deepest darkest hour 
You're my saviour when I fall 
And you may not think 
I care for you 
When you know down inside 
That I really do 
And its me you need to show" 




Mulder held Scully closely to his chest and took in the smell of 
her hair and the feel of her body as it moved instinctively with 
his.  He was home.

***************************

Mulder rubbed his wet hands down Scully's bare back and shivered 
at the thought of her naked body so close to his.  He let them 
slide lower to cup her ass and feel the beads of water as they 
ran from the curve of her rump to the back of her leg.  It was 
one of his favorite spots to spend time.  She arched her back 
further and he found himself gyrating toward her like a dog in 
heat.  She must have felt his erection against her back.

"You're good?"


"Oh yeah, I'm good" he murmured

"Close?"

"Very" he hummed into her ear as he arched over her wet body 
and grabbed her breasts

She leaned over exposing more of her beautiful ass and turned 
off the water.  Mulder regretfully allowed her to step out of 
the shower first and put her bathrobe on.  He then followed 
suit, sitting on the edge of the tub when he exited.

She placed a towel on the ground between his legs, grabbed his 
penis and started to rub up and down on his length working his 
cock until it was ready to explode.  He grabbed for her breasts 
at the opening of her robe and gently pinched the nipples as 
she worked his shaft. Her face was all focused on the task at 
hand but her body was betraying arousal as her chest started 
to turn a crimson colour.  

"God, you're so beautiful" he gasped as he reached for her hair
"You get poetic the more you get aroused" she smiled

"I do?" he asked

"Yeah, you do Mulder" she said with a smile

"Oh, god, Scully" he moaned "I'm going to come"

With one hand still grasping his penis and sliding the skin up 
and down Scully reached with the other hand to a sterile container 
on the floor next to her.  

"Uhhh, now" Mulder gasped as his penis erupted into the container

Scully waited until all of his warm cum was inside the jar and 
neatly sealed it with the orange lid. She placed it on the 
countertop and rubbed Mulder's back.

"We'll see how this one is, the last one looked promising" she 
cooed

"Well, I must say I'm going to miss all this attention when you 
finally determine I'm sterile" he said with his head lowered

"Mulder" she murmured "don't you realize? Without the worry you 
should get more uh, attention"

He raised his head to look at her and smile "It's all worth it 
either way, Scully"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just great" he smiled "I think I'll go for a run.  I 
feel re-energized"


"Okay Mulder.  I'll see you in a bit"

She rose from the floor and left the bathroom with her sample in 
hand.  Mulder couldn't help but smile at how twisted their 

relationship was sometimes.  He thought of how love was like that, 
never neat and wrapped with a bow on top, but messy.  He rose to 
grab his sweats from the cupboard in the bathroom and threw them 
on.  He saw Scully blow drying her hair on the bed and snuck a 
quick peck on her cheek as he passed.  

As he went downstairs he couldn't help but notice how in 3 months 
they had really made it quite a cozy home.  Scully had spent some 
time at local art shows and antique markets picking up some things 
for the walls and around the house.  He had made it his personal 
mission to not be a slob.  If Scully was living with him he was 
going to be the best live-in lover she could have.  

He stretched in the yard and looked out onto the acreage that had 
become his running ground.  He would miss running the property in 
the winter and would have to take to the roads.  It wouldn't be the 
same.  

For late October, it was unusually warm and Mulder wondered how 
quickly things would change to piles of snow.  He took off running 
his usual route that had been beaten down my months of tramping.  
The first part of the run was mainly flat lands where he could find 
his pace.  The middle of the run was through the woods that lay on 
the outskirts of their property.  He loved hopping over old logs in 
the woods; it presented a challenge for his hamstrings just as his 
muscles were starting to tire.  The last part of the run was a 
return to the house, it was hilly and if Mulder timed it just 
right the house glowed in the sunset as he approached it.   


It was during these runs that Mulder would think about old cases he 
had worked on.  He was up to April of 1995.  He cringed when he 
thought of the DAT tape and how it brought on the deaths of his 
father and Melissa Scully in such a short period of time.  He 
thought of his time in the Native Sweat Lodge and how Scully 
had shot him.  How, it was after that case, Gary and Irene 
Hewitt were created.  It was Scully who had unknowingly 
convinced him it was the right move.








He and Scully had been investigating the murders of their two family 
members under the radar.  They had visited the Lone Gunmen, a Nazi 
war criminal, had discovered files with both Scully and Samantha's 
names on them, and been chased down by Special Ops.  They had 
managed to make their way to a motel/ gas station/diner in the 
middle of nowhere.  He had got them a room with the little 
cash they had on hand.   She was showering when he got back 
to the room with French fries for dinner.

"Mulder, is that you?" she yelled from the shower

"Yeah, it's me Scully.  You better get out here quick so this haute 
cuisine doesn't go to waste"

"I'll just be a couple more minutes" she explained

Mulder got to work eating his French fries and counted out the 
remaining money.  They had $168.43 to their name, Scully's car 
abandoned 3 miles back where it ran out of gas, and a bunch of 
credit cards they couldn't use without alerting everyone to where 
they were.  

Just then, Scully entered the room in her dusty clothes with her 
hair dripping wet.  

"God, it feels good to be clean" she smiled

"It must"

"You should take a shower Mulder, you'll feel better" 

"I will after dinner" he said gesturing to the French fries on the 
table

"Ahhh, the haute cuisine"

"It is French" he quipped

She sat down and started to eat silently.  He knew she was thinking 
of the money as well.  He also knew that she was thinking of their 
next move and wanted to go over all the possibilities before she 
said anything to him.

"So...we've got $168, and they say our love won't pay the rent..." 
Mulder trailed off

Scully laughed "Sonny and Cher were probably millionaires when they 
wrote that song"

"Yeah, probably" he said as he ate his last French fry

"I'm going to hop in the shower Scully, and then maybe we can figure 
out where to go from here"

Mulder got up to have a shower and truthfully, was happy to have 
some space from her.  Ever since his admission in the elevator at 
his building that she was the main reason he fought to survive 
in the Sweat Lodge she had been acting oddly.  

When he returned from his shower she was still sitting in the same 
spot at the table staring at the wallpaper with ducks flying on it.

"They're not real you know"

"Huh?"

"The ducks" he gestured to the wallpaper "they're not going to fly 
away if you look at them long enough"

"Oh, I didn't realize..." she trailed off

"Scully, tell me what's on your mind"

"Huh? No, I'm fine Mulder" she said as she pulled herself out of her 
reverie

"Scully" he pleaded as he crouched down in front of her and placed 
his hands over hers

"It's just that..." she started and then looked away" ...my sister 
has been shot and I can't go to her, I've been relieved of my 
position at work, I'm on the run with a man everyone assumes is 
dead, we have no money to our names, and can't use any of our 

ID or credit cards for fear Black Ops will hunt us down....
it's just...."

"It's just not the way you saw your life" he finished the thought 
for her

She let out a huge breath and stared him straight in the eyes "I 
didn't say that"

"You didn't have to" he said as he rose from his position

"Mulder, it's just that we are running on empty, we don't have a 
plan, hell, we don't even have a change of clothes" she said as she 
grasped his forearm to get his attention

"You think that I would choose this Scully?" he said through 
gritted teeth "do you think I like this anymore than you do?  
Don't you think I want you to be with your sister?"

"I don't know Mulder"

"What do you mean you don't know?" he pivoted on his heel to look 
at her

"Sometimes I think...no, I know, the truth is more important to you 
than I am, but sometimes I wish it was different"

"You're wrong Scully"

"Am I?" she looked at him through glassy eyes "Look Mulder, I think 
we should call Skinner and get him in on this"

"Do whatever you want, I'm going to bed" 


Mulder took off his pants and climbed into the bed in his boxers 
and turned out the bedside light.

Scully walked through the dark to the other side of the bed and sat 
heavily on the mattress and sighed.

She made a quick call to Skinner giving him their location.  She 
assured him they were both fine and crawled under the covers on her 
side of the bed.  

"Mulder" she began in the dark "can't we..."

He shifted in the bed so he was leaning on one arm and facing her, 
"What I said about the Sweat Lodge was true.  You are my main reason 
to go on living.  You mean more to me than the truth, Scully.  I 
hope one day you can believe that"

She sighed next to him and looked at the ceiling "I hope so too"












When they returned from that case Mulder had convinced the Lone 
Gunmen to help him work on their fake identities; building up 
information and bank accounts so, if one day he and Scully were 
on the run again, there was a plan.  She would then know that 
he had thought of her, had cared enough to ensure her safety 
and future, above all else.  

As Mulder ran down the last hill he spotted Scully on their 
back porch sitting on the floor wrestling with something.  As 
he got closer he noticed she wasn't wrestling with something 
but rather carving it.  A pumpkin.

"I'm not spooky enough for you?" Mulder asked as he climbed 
the stairs

"You're not spooky anymore" Scully said as she focused intently 
on her carving

"What's with all the pumpkins?" Mulder asked looking around at 
the half dozen pumpkins around their porch

"I didn't want to let them rot in our pumpkin patch" 

"But they make great hurdles when I'm running" 

"There are still plenty left for you to jump over"

"I'm going in to grab a shower" Mulder said as he gave her a 
peck on the cheek

"No, wait!  I'm almost done" 

"Okay" he said as he sat opposite her

Within a minute he found himself scooping out the guts of another 
pumpkin she could work on.  Pumpkin seeds and innards were strewn 
all over the newspaper as he anxiously awaited Scully's finished 
product.

"Okay, who does this look like?" she said with a grin as she 
turned the pumpkin face toward him

It was a perfect replica of a creature they had once encountered.

"That's easy Scully, Flukeman"

"You got it!" she exclaimed as she turned to look at her work 
more closely

"Okay, I'll do this one for you" Mulder said as he started to 
draw on his pumpkin.

Scully tried to peer around him.

"No peeking" he said "you do another one"

They spent the evening carving the pumpkins and laughing at their 
sometimes good, sometimes bad, renditions of different creatures 
and people they had encountered throughout the years.  Mulder 
was carving the last pumpkin as Scully lit the others and 
watched him.  

"Okay, moment of truth.  Who does this look like?" Mulder said 
as he turned the pumpkin toward her

"Oh, Mulder the glasses give it away" she laughed

"Do they?" he asked as he turned it toward himself

"Walter Skinner" she said with a note of satisfaction

"I'm that good" Mulder said as he pumped the air with his fist

He then looked at Scully as she sat on the floor surrounded by 
lit pumpkins and laughing.  She was covered in pumpkin guts, had 
dried seeds stuck in her ponytail and looked beautiful.  The 
sun was setting and her skin was a peach glow in the light.

"I'm so lucky to have you" he said 

"Luck has nothing to do with it" she said as she crawled toward 
him 

"What does then?"

"We made our own destiny Mulder, together" she said as she leaned 
in for a kiss

Her body pressed against his and caused him to lean back until 
he was lying on the floorboards.

She was on top of him and moving her hips up and down his 
frame while she kissed him deeply.  All Mulder could think 
about was how wonderful she felt and how he would have to 
kill the mood by suggesting they move the party inside so he 
could get a condom.  

He ran his sticky hands up the back of her shirt and massaged 
her shoulder muscles, then her back muscles.  He fit his hands 
down the back of her loose fitting shorts and massaged her ass.  
She was kissing her way down his chest and trying to lift his 
shirt off his body.

"Uh, Scully..." he began as she hoisted it over his head

"Yesss?" she cooed as she moved toward his nipple

"I have to..." he began, unsure as to how he could do this 
without breaking the mood

"You don't have to do anything, anymore Mulder.  It's just you 
and me, from now on.  Nothing in between us" she smiled

"Oh?"


"Let's just enjoy it" she said as she took a nipple into her 
mouth

Mulder lay there looking at her sweet mouth as it tugged at 
his nipple and swirled her tongue around it.  He ran his hands 
through her hair and felt utter freedom for the first time in 
a very long time.  He was with the woman he loved, making love 
outside on their porch, at sunset, surrounded by lit pumpkins
.....speaking of which.

"Scully, just a second" he said as he raised himself and she 
pushed off of him

"Mulder, we don't need cond..." she said gently as she sat back 
on her heels

"I know, Scully.  I just need to do something" he said as he got 
up

He picked up the Skinner pumpkin and tossed it off the porch 
into the darkness that was quickly invading their yard.

"I can't do, what I want to do to you, with him looking at me" 
Mulder said as she took Scully into his arms and laid her out 
on the porch.


THE  END


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