From: "Jaime Shmoe" Date: Thu, 08 Mar 2001 02:29:15 -0000 Subject: Confession Source: direct Dana Scully's Point of View Confession I miss you. I miss everything about you. Your constant paranormal rambling, your obsessive need to prove me wrong, your juvenile pouting, and your endless list of innuendoes. I long to hear the slow, calmness of your voice over my cell, or watch your silent smile curve at your own jokes. It is so dull around here without. No midnight phone calls or frantic visits, which I am ashamed to say I miss too. Without you around to keep me awake for days on end, I have had more time to sleep, or at least try to. I spend my sleepless nights thinking of you. I wonder where you are and if you still care -- about me. And I spend my dreams searching for you, as I do when I am awake. I spend my nightmares morning your disappearance and fearing what they are doing to you. Are they harming you, physically or mentally? Is it what you expected, what we investigated? I hope our information is wrong. I hope our accounts are false, because if they are you will be spared much pain. I want you back, back in my life. Yes, that may be selfish, but I think, under the circumstances, it is very reasonable. Haven't they caused enough hurt and suffering for everyone -- for us? After everything we have done, the lives we have saved and the broken lives we live, they punish us more -- you more. I just experience the side effects, the after math of loosing you in our journey for the truth. You don't deserve any of this! You have always placed others needs before your own. You were -- no -- are a unbelievably special man. You never lost hope, or gave up, therefore were never truly defeated by them. Please, don't let them win now, because I will do the same. I will find you, because you would, and have, done the same for me. I owe you my life a million times over. You are my best friend, and my partner and as corny as the cliché may sound, my life. My family has been right all these years. I just never saw it, or did not want to accept it. Your truth has become my own. Your world and essence has become mine too. You are my axis, on which my life rotates. When sorrow is felt by you, it radiates out to me. Now do you see why I want you back, why I have to get you back? I am lost in space without you holding me down. My thoughts have no one to question them... I need you! There, I said it! I need you. Me, the strong willed, analytical government agent needs you. In my life I have lost many important things to me, none of which have been your fault. My sister's death, caused by them! My inability to conceive, caused by them. It is not your fault. I choose to be with you. To take up your conquest as my own. To stay by your side, because I believe your pursuit of the unknown is honorable and heroic. We had no control over what they did to hurt us, to break us down, but I have control over what I am going to do about you. I will rescue you! I have too! I need you! I still have a chance to get you back, to keep you safe. I need to bring you back to me, to create closure either way. I need you in my life to make me whole, to be my constant. I just need you and I know you need me, and when I get you back they won't beadle to stop us. By Jaime .V.