From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: Mon, 14 Jul 2008 17:19:57 -0500 (CDT)
Subject: Confessions of Fox & Dana, or: And Then They Had Sex by Mack the Spoon
Source: direct

Reply To: glace_aux_fraises@hotmail.com


Title: Confessions of Fox & Dana, or: And Then They Had Sex
Classification: VH
Keywords: Parody. Mulder/Scully romance.
Spoilers: The entire series, I suppose.
Rating: Uh, PG-13, I guess, for sexual references. (Otherwise I'd
say V for vomit-inducing. Heh.)
Summary: Dana and Fox reminisce. ATTHS.
Author's Note/Disclaimer: This is based on the list I made with
namarie24 of "35 Things I've Learned From X-Files Fanfiction",
which can be read at my livejournal:
http://mack-the-spoon.livejournal.com/27164.html#cutid1
I think your experience reading this badfic will be better if you
read the list first, but it's not a requirement. Just remember I
did this in fun - I love X-Files fanfiction and have enjoyed (and
written!) many fics that contain these elements.
I don't own any of these characters or the show. I disavow any
responsibility for any nausea caused by reading this. Furthermore,
I did not force my beta to sit through this, so it was edited by
namarie24 but otherwise any mistakes are my own.
Archive: Sure, just ask me first, please!
Feedback: I'd love it! But, uh, remember this isn't serious,
mmkay?
glace_aux_fraises@hotmail.com

This is dedicated to hmfeelyat, who gave me the courage (heh) to
write this! I must also thank Dasha for further inspiration. :-)


~~~~~~~
Scully sat on the hotel bed. She found herself musing about the
past a lot these days, now that everything had changed so
completely and irrevocably. She and Mulder had been on the run for
about two months now, and they were almost settled into a routine,
but Scully still missed their old routine. She decided that
tomorrow they needed to have a long, open talk about their
feelings, because she was certain Mulder was feeling some regrets,
too. At least she needed to write down everything she felt in a
note to Mulder, in as flowery and poetic of language as possible,
even if she never told him. Taking out a pen, she suited actions
to thoughts.

Even though neither of them had mentioned anything out loud,
Scully didn't need Mulder to say anything for her to know
something was wrong. They could communicate so much without words,
after all. They always had been that way, all the way back to
their first case together. She smiled at the memory - when Mulder
had opened up to her about his sister's disappearance, he had
sounded a little crazy but she had known even then that she would
love this man forever. It hadn't been long after that they had
begun their sexual relationship, although they had been careful to
keep it a secret. That had been difficult, of course, since they
had been going at it so often: every time either of them needed
healing after any one of numerous car accidents, life-threatening
illnesses, or injuries had befallen them, or when either of them
needed comfort after the death of a relative, for example.

She thought, too, of all the times Mulder had gotten in too deep
in his profiles of killers. His mental state was already so
fragile, and these cases pushed him perilously close to the Abyss.
Scully shuddered. She had often feared she would lose him, that
not even she could bring him back to who he really was. But when
all else did not succeed, her kiss had never failed to reawaken
him, and their passion would drive away his demons, at least
temporarily. Those nights, she would hold him as he wept, and as
he confessed to her the torments he had been through: the loss of
Sam, and then how his father had put him in the hospital numerous
times from abuse, and his cold, uncaring mother could barely be
bothered to ever visit him there. A tear traced its way down
Scully's cheek as she remembered his broken sobs.

"Dana, are you all right?" Mulder came into the room, having
finished his shower, just a towel wrapped around his waist.

"I'm fine, Fox," she said. She only called him that when they were
alone together.

He walked over and wiped the tear from her face, staring into her
deep, impossibly ocean blue eyes that were more beautiful than two
sapphires. "No, tell me what's wrong. Did someone attack you
again? I told you the guy in the next room looked suspicious!"

"No, it's not that. I was just... thinking about the life we left
behind," she said, staring intently back up into his own
breathtaking forest green eyes that reminded her of emeralds. She
thought briefly of her brother Bill, who would never understand
this kind of life she had chosen, or her closeness with her
partner. She hoped he hadn't broken anything in his rage when he
found out she had gone missing with Mulder. He probably still
chose to believe that his sister and Mulder were not a couple,
despite their children and all the other evidence he'd seen and
heard.

He nodded sadly, pain crossing his face. "I've been thinking about
that, too, Dana." He sat down next to her, his huge, well-muscled
body dwarfing her petite and fragile-seeming frame. Even though
she hadn't showered yet, he could smell the ever-present scent of
strawberries as he put an arm around her shoulders and leaned
closer to run a hand through her stunning titian tresses. "There's
so much we don't have anymore. William, Emily and the others-"

Scully choked back a sob. It wasn't even Christmas, but the
memories were still fresh and just as painful. They had discovered
that there were other children created from her ova, and even
found another little girl they had called Sam, but she had been
taken from them as well. Dana knew in her heart that Fox had been
the father, even if it had never been tested, because it could
simply be no other way. "And we can't even talk to Skinner and
Doggett anymore," she sniffed.

Mulder stood up abruptly. "Of course you miss *Doggett*," he
snapped. "Such a good partner," he said, emphasizing the word
maliciously.

"He was a good partner, Mulder," Scully snapped back. "At least he
didn't betray me, unlike a certain former partner of yours." She
stood, eyes flashing ice-blue.

"Don't talk about Diana that way!" Mulder yelled.

"Why not? She's dead." Then Scully's heart sank. "At least, I
thought she was. Is she still alive? *Do you still love her*?" she
cried.

"Of course I don't still love her, Dana," Fox began. "That
marriage was the worst mistake of my life."

Scully closed her eyes. She had never quite gotten over the
anguish that revelation had caused her. Even the sex they had
after Mulder had confessed, in the elevator outside their office
that had mysteriously broken again, had not completely healed her
wounds. "Then it's Phoebe, isn't it? Or that Bambi Berenbaum
woman? Or Detective White? Or someone else you never told me
about?" She was starting to sound hysterical, but she didn't care.
She wished she had a cigarette about now to soothe her tormented
emotions, since this fight was just one more thing on top of their
already stressful lives.

"No, Dana!" he said, rushing to her and grabbing her arms gently.
"I never loved any of them. I didn't know what love is, back then.
I never knew that until I met you."

Dana stopped struggling. "Really?"

"I mean that."

"Well, then you should know what I meant when I mentioned Skinner
and Doggett. Of course I don't love them like I love you, Fox,"
she said, stroking his face, her pale hand coming to rest on his
finely-chiseled chin. "I never could. I never loved Ed Jerse or
any other man I had a one night stand with, either. It's just that
Skinner and Doggett were both there for me when I thought I'd lost
you for good. I came so close to losing myself, and they helped
me." She briefly flashed back to that horrible time. Her
Evanescence CD had almost worn out because of the number of times
she'd cried herself to sleep listening to "My Immortal".

Fox nodded slowly. "Then I'm grateful to them. But I know they
were, and probably are in love with you." He still sounded surly.

Dana raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure? I never saw anything like
that. In fact... nevermind."

"What?"

"I thought Doggett was more interested in Langly," she admitted,
blushing.

"Langly?? No, if anything, he and Skinner-"

"That's impossible!" she argued. "I just think Doggett was so
impressed by what the Gunmen could always do to help, that maybe
he-"

"Whatever," Mulder cut her off. He grinned, a smile that Dana had
always found somehow canine like his name and very, very sexy.
Then he sat down again. "Get in the shower, Dana, and I'll order
some takeout."

"Sounds like a good idea," she replied. "After all, even if we had
access to a kitchen, there's no telling what disaster would result
if either of us tried to cook."

"Especially me," Fox agreed with a wry chuckle. "Neither of us
needs to end up in the hospital for a little while."

Scully answered when the delivery man knocked. He was struck by
her almost supernatural beauty, and had already started a plan to
hit on her when Mulder came up to her. The man instantly knew he
was out of luck - the bond between them was just too clear and too
strong. He wouldn't have been surprised to learn that they had
known each other their whole lives, or still somehow been
connected even before they had actually met. There was obviously
no way any outsider could break this kind of bond, although they
themselves seemed strangely unaware of the phenomenon. Pulling
away from the hotel, he thought bitterly that his life could never
be as full as theirs most certainly was.

As they ate, Scully turned the conversation back to what they
missed from their old life, sure of the vital importance of
unburdening themselves this way. Scully admitted that she would
miss the FBI's annual balls, even though they had often been
fraught with tension between the two of them as misunderstandings
arose. Mulder laughed, but then acknowledged that he would miss
the opportunity to be blown away by the sight of Scully in her
finery, and the perfect reason it would give for them to disclose
their feelings for each other and then have sex.

Then Fox brought up their frequent trips that more often than not
resulted in some sort of disaster. "Remember when our plane
crashed in the forest in winter?"

"Which time?"

"When we were on the way to Washington state, and we ended up
having to huddle together in a cave for warmth?" He raised an
eyebrow at her suggestively.

"That sort of thing does seem to happen to us a lot," Dana said
pensively. "And I guess there is one good thing about that." She
mimicked his expression. 

And Then They Had Sex.