From: ShelteredTurtle@aol.com Date: Sat, 25 Mar 2000 00:49:30 EST Subject: Fanfic Source: direct Title: Confused, Ashamed, Deceived Author: C. Aphrodite Spoilers: En Ami Date: 3/24/00 Keywords: Angst, MSR Subject: After the recent events, Scully agonizes over being easily deceived and hurting the only person she trusts. Archive: Anywhere, but only with my permission. Disclaimer: The X-Files, Dana Scully, Fox Mulder, and all other X-Files related characters do not belong to me, but belong to Chris Carter, 20th Century Fox, and 1013 Productions. Confused, Ashamed, Deceived Dana Scully's Apt. 9:30 PM. Dana Scully sat on her couch in front of her television successfully emptying a half-carton of Cookies 'n' Cream ice-cream. On the television screen Titanic played on, but Scully had stopped watching it when Rose tried to jump off the ship. Scully thought with a pitiful expression on her face. She didn't really mean it, she was just depressed over the recent events which took place. What was supposed to be a simple case of angels with a miracle cure for a child turned into a deceitful trip with her worst enemy. she thought as she lounged her ice-cream at the nearest wall. Why in the world had she agreed to tag along with CGB whatever the hell his name is? She knew in her heart it wasn't right. And after all, she did try and send Mulder that tape. She was almost glad he hadn't gotten it. He would have heard the car conversation, where CSM accused her of not letting herself love Mulder. Well, he was dead wrong, no pun intended. She knew she loved him. She just couldn't let Mulder know she loved him. Although now it could help their relationship. She had deceived the only person she trusts, loves. She knew he was ashamed of her, she was ashamed of herself. She was just so confused, she didn't know what to do. Fox Mulder's Apt. 11:21 PM. Fox Mulder laid sprawled across his couch, flipping through TV channels. He didn't want to watch anything, he was just thinking. All day he pondered why she had done it. Not only had his Scully he thought. Mulder sat up on the couch and stared at a wall. It really was pathetic that he talked to himself but he didn't care. Not only did Scully go on a "trip" with his enemy, but she lied to him. He didn't know which hurt worst. He supposed it wouldn't hurt as much if he didn't love, if he wasn't in love with her. Which he was. Madly and deeply in love with Dana Scully. Maybe it would help with their relationship. He wasn't sure. He picked up the phone, started to dial, but quickly hung up the phone. Mulder then laid down and tried to fall asleep. FBI Headquarters, Washington DC 7:00 am Scully had hoped to beat Mulder to work but when she opened the door to their basement office, he was already digging through files. "Good morning Mulder." "Oh hey Scully." Scully sat down in a chair near Mulder's desk and put her head in her hands. "Something wrong Scully?" "Hmm? Oh no. Just a rough night." "Couldn't sleep?" He hadn't meant for it to come out as cold as it sounded, but he could tell he hurt her when she spoke again and her voice was filled with held back tears. "No I slept ok. Just kept waking up at trite noises." "Oh." After a moment of silence Scully spoke up. "I see you have a case file on your desk." "Oh that? It's just an investigation into a strange murder. It was probably done by a cult or satanist, but I was going to check it out." she thought as she slumped into her chair. Suddenly it was getting very tight spaced in the office. "So, um..you're going to investigate it for what reason?" "Oh the town's folk seem to think Big Foot did it." "Oh. And you suspect that as well?" "Sort of. Worth checking out in my opinion." "Yeah." Mulder sat down at his desk and when he did he noticed Scully was sweating. "Scully, you're uh...are you alright?" Scully rubbed her temple and stared at the floor. It was getting a little hot in there too. "Scully?" "Oh um, yeah. I'm fine. Will you excuse me?" "Yeah sure." As Scully stood up she stumbled a bit and Mulder instantly stood up. "It's ok, just a slight head rush." "Okay." Scully walked down the hall and entered the ladies room. She walked up to a sink and noticed she was bleeding through her nose. she thought. Before she had time to wipe her nose she was kneeling on the floor with a pounding headache and gasping for breath. "Mulder! Mulder. Muld-" she screamed and eventually faded into a whisper calling out for help from Mulder. Mulder sat at his desk regretting the earlier hostility between him and Scully. Scully screaming his name brought his attention to the present. He ran to the bathroom and without thinking barged in. "Scully!? Scully!" He looked around the bathroom and found Scully laying on her back near the sink. "Scully can you hear me? Say something!" He knelt beside her and checked her pulse. She wasn't breathing. He noticed the blood coming out of her nose and tried to stop it. He straddled her stomach and breathed into her mouth. He then began compressions. "Come on Scully. Scully, breath." He breathed into her mouth again and did compressions. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Come on Scully, I need you here with me!" Once again, breath, compressions. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Scully breath, please!" Just then Scully started to cough and squirm under him. "It's ok, Scully. Just breath." "Muld-" "Shh. I'm right here. It's ok." Mulder got out his phone and dialed 911 and AD Skinner. "Hi this is Special Agent Fox Mulder we have an Agent down....." "Mul-der. I-m sor-ry." "Shh. Scully it's ok." Georgetown Medical Center 12:30 PM. "What the hell do you mean her cancer is back!? You said it was in remission!" Mulder screamed at Dr. Prose. "Mr. Mulder, Dana's cancer came back. I'm sorry. I can't...I can't explain it." "But...what about the chip?" "It's....um...gone." "Gone? GONE?!" "Yes sir." Realization hit Mulder hard. "Son of a ---" "Agent Mulder." "Yes sir." "How is she, Agent Scully?" "She's out of ICU. Her cancer is back sir." "What?! I thought it was in remission." "It was sir." "I'm so sorry Mulder." "Thank you sir. Doctor, is it alright if I go see her?" "Sure, go ahead. Oh and Mr. Mulder, she knows." "Thanks Doctor." With that Mulder started down the hall to Scully's room. "Hey there sunshine." Scully rolled over onto her back. "Hey Mulder. I assume you've heard." Mulder pulled a chair next to Scully's bed and grabbed her hand.She squeezed it. "Yes, I've heard. But Scully we'll fight it! I promise, we can get another chip, I'll..." "Mulder no." "Damn it Scully! Don't give up!" "I'm not Mulder. I want to make a deal with him." "With who?" "CGB Spender. Smoking Man." "No Scully. No way in hell!" Mulder jumped out of the chair and released her hand. He walked to infront of her bed and started pacing. "I'm not going to let you sell yourself to him. No. There is another way. I know there is." "Mulder. Mulder there isn't. He took that chip out of my neck. He has it." "How do you know?" "He had put me into bed one night on the...uh..trip. He swore he hadn't drugged me, but I know he did. He must've done it then." "Scully..." "Mulder come sit next to me." When he didn't move Scully did something she didn't usually do, she begged. "Please Mulder?" He walked over to her and sat next to her on the bed.Their hips were almost touching. She reached for his hand and ran her fingernail lightly over his palm. "Mulder he's dying. And I know he cares about me in some weird, twisted way. I need that chip and he has it. Please let me try and save myself." "Scully.." "Mulder. You saved me last time. Hell, you save me everytime. Let me prove to myself I still can save myself. Please. I need this." "Scully I save you everytime, because...hell Scully I do it because I love you. Because I want to. Because I need to. I need you, I want you, and I'll save you whenever you need saving." By now Scully had tears running down her cheeks and she was slightly shaking. "Mulder, I love you too. And I'm here with you now because I love you, want you, and need you. And I need to save myself for you, okay?" "Yeah." Mulder reached up and wiped away Scully's tears with the pads of his thumbs. She smiled. "You should do that more often." "Cry?" "No smile. You really look pretty when you smile." She smiled again. "I love you Mulder." "I love you too Scully." He leaned down and kissed her lightly on the lips. "Please tell me when I'm better there will be *more* to that kiss?" "Such a demanding woman!" As Scully laughed AD Skinner walked in. "Sir." "Agent Scully, this was delivered to you at the front desk." Skinner handed Scully a package. Of course, there wasn't a return address. "Scully, open it." "Yeah okay, just give me a minute." "I'll leave you two alone. Agent Scully, feel better soon. Agent Mulder, let her rest." "Yes sir." "Of course, sir." As Skinner left the room Scully opened the package. She took out a letter and read it aloud. "Agent Scully, it seems as though you've closed down the wall around your heart. Here's something I believe belongs to you. You know, you're not the only one with fancy wiring equipment. Give yourself something I could never have." "Scully, want to explain?" "Later Mulder. Gimme the box." She began opening the box and was stunned into silence when she saw what was in it. "Scully?" "Mulder, it's the....the chip and something else." "Something else?" "This." Scully lifted up a vile and showed it to Mulder. "Your...Your ova." "Yeah, my ova." "I'm taking it the ova isn't what he meant by 'something he could never have'?" "No. A family. Love. Contentment." "Well, as odd as this sounds, lets go put this stuff back where it belongs." "Yeah, lets." "I'll go get the doctor." "Mm. 'K." Once Mulder left Scully stared at the note and then looked at a near by security camera. She couldn't help but laugh. 5 years later "Fox! Would you help me out here!" "I'm busy!" "Fox. William. Mulder. Get in here now!" "Yes mommy." "Can you take your sisters into the living room while I call your father?" "Yes mommy. C'mon Sam and Missy, mommy wants us to go play." Little Fox Jr. picked up one of his sisters, Samantha, and brought her into the living room. Then he picked up his other sister, Melissa, and brought her into the living room. "Mommy, couldn't you have had twins later?" Dana Scully laughed and hugged her son. "If I would have had them later you wouldn't have two 3 year old sisters to play with." "Ok mommy." Fox ran into the living room as Scully picked up the phone. "Mulder, where are you." "Hey baby." "Don't baby me. Sam's not eating and Missy's fussy. And Fox is getting bored. How long will you be?" "Scully, lovely wife of mine..." "Mulder cut the crap." "The lines' here at Burger King are monstrous. A real X-File. I'll be home in 15-20 minutes, okay?" "Yeah okay. But hurry up. I am eating for two you know." "So, how is little junior doing?" "Mulder. It's juniorette. And she's fine. Now hurry up!" "Yes ma'am. I love you Scully." "I love you too. But I'll love you more when I see my chocolate milkshake." "Chocolate!? You said vanilla!" "I changed my mind. I'm pregnant. I can do that." "I wish I could be pregnant!" Scully laughed and they both hung up the phone. Scully patted her belly and waddled into the living room. "Fox, Sam, Missy!" First Sam walked in. "Mommy!" "Hey baby. Where's Missy and Fox?" "They playnin." "Okay. Fox and Missy come out here please." Then came in Sam. "Ma ma! Me want up." Sam held up her arms and Scully picked her up and sat her on the couch next to Missy. "My girls. Were you good for Fox?" "Yesh mommy." "Uh huh ma ma." "Good. Fox, I said come in here sweetie." Fox walked into the living room with marker all over his face. Scully tried not to laugh. "Fox what happened?" "They drawed on me!" "Drew, sweetie. Let me see if I can get that off." She started wiping off his face with her sleeve. "There, all better." "Thanks mommy." She smiled and heard the door open. "Honey, I'm hooommmeee!" The End