From: sarah scooter Date: Thu, 13 Apr 2000 16:10:56 -0700 (PDT) Subject: fan fiction Buy Sarah Skott Rated R for language and sexuality Setting Mulders apartment Spoiler: Post All Things! This is what would have happened in my eyes Comments send them to me muldershandcuffs_42@yahoo.com Legal stuff I don't own Mulder and Scully. I thank Chris Carter for that. They are the two best characters to work with. Archive yes let me know first! Crash Geez Mulder is in the next room and all I can think of is fucking him. Here and now. Am I dreaming yet? Am I awake still? I can't tell. I just told Mulder everything about what I had seen and done. What made me think that we were meant to be together. That there is only one path that were supposed to take. All paths lead to one point. I have been lead here to this point. I am on his God forsaken couch. It's leather. I secretly love this couch. I like the way leather feels against the skin. It feels erotic being on Mulders leather couch. I know he is sleeping in his bed in the other room. I don't know why I just love being here when he is sleeping. I wish that he had carried me to his bed. I wish that I was there right now in his bed. I want to feel him next to me. Enough of this, I am sick and tired dropping everything. I need to know. I need to know why he didn't kiss me. I need to know if there is anything left. I need to know why it's too late to talk about how we feel. I need to know what he wants. I want to know that I am needed. I want to feel his touch against my flesh. I need to feel him. I need to know that I am still wanted. After the cancer scare I need to know that I am still wanted. I need to know damn it. ****DAMN IT MULDER WHY DO YOU ALWAYS LEAVE ME HANGING?**** It's late I know it. I need to show you how I feel. I need to taste you. I need to smell you. I know that's crazy but I cant stop thinking about you. I ache to be inside you. I want to loose myself in you. This obsession is dangerous. You make me want to do bad things. You are a dangerous influence on me. I crave your love. Justification is lost here. I don't even bother to make any sense of it anymore. You consume my thoughts. I never thought that I could care as much as I do. I can't remain a friend. I need more. I should want more. I should need more. I do need more. This classification of our friendship must come to an end. I need more. I need you to want more than just this. This everyday mundane existence is driving me crazy. I want to I see us as being more. I want to touch you everywhere. If you would just let me. But most of the time you don't let me. You show me but I never let you take it there. I am grateful for you. I never thought that I would meet someone as dynamic as you as cool and collected as you. As nave as I am I will never let you down. I want to met your desires. I want t to take you to beyond the fires of passion. I want to break down that wall that we have built. I want to tare it down. I melt whenever you're around. I could never let you see what's inside my head. I think that I would be to afraid to say what I feel inside. I know that I need to tell you I just don't know how to do it. ****AND YOU WOULD SAY WHATS GOING THROUGH THAT HEAD OF YOURS G- Woman?**** I would say that the time has come to tell you how I feel. I need to know how you feel. I need to see your soul I need to know that your mine. I would tell you that you're. I would tell you I can't hide anymore. I would tell you that I feel safe whenever I am around you. I sometimes feel like I am a little child. I don't know why. You seem so big and mysterious. And yet I am drawn to you. Powerful that you are. You take me buy surprise. I take everything that I can get. I suck you in like the air that I breath. I can't seem to get enough. And yet I feel so safe. You have me chasing after UFOs and Monsters and yet I still feel safe. I see right through you. And I close my eyes and hope I can get to sleep. But all I hope to do is to dream about you I sometimes feel like I am a little child. I don't know why. You seem so big and mysterious. And yet I am drawn to you. Powerful that you are. You take me buy surprise. I take everything that I can get. I suck you in like the air that I breath. I can't seem to get enough. And yet I feel so safe. You have me chasing after UFOs and Monsters and yet I still feel safe. I see right through you. And I close my eyes and hope I can get to sleep. But all I hope to do is to dream about you. They're once was Jack but that didn't last because I met you. You turned me up side down. But still I manage to stand up right. And now I drift off to sleep at least I hope so. I lay here in my bed. My pajamas are stuck to my body. So I take off my shirt. I keep thinking this must be fate. I can't believe what is at stake. I have the one person that I love telling me that this must be fate that were here at this time together. This is just what I need to make me think that I still have a chance. After all this I wasted. I still may have time to get what I want. Her sent I still can smell. Maybe if I dream hard enough I can make it come true. This is pure torture me being her and she being there. I can't tell if I am breathing or not so I take in a huge breath. This is what it is like when I think about my Scully, my Dana. Except that she doesn't let me call her that. I don't blame her since I won't let her call me FOX. I bet it drives her crazy. I sometimes dream of me and her and I have so much to say. It all comes out wrong. She ends up hating me. I don't know why, but I pack it in. I let it out all out. Too much comes out at once. The cat is out of the bag. She tells me that she doesn't love me like I love her. I grit my teeth. I suck out the air that I breath. I can be a big man. I can take it. But I know that wont happen. Not to my Scully, and me. I dream of you. I dream of your read hair. I dream of you touching me there. I dream of you telling me you love me. No don't ask me to explain it away. It won't go away. I won't go away. I trust you to stay. I But I know that wont happen. Not to my Scully, and me. I dream of you. I dream of your read hair. I dream of you touching me there. I dream of you telling me you love me. No don't ask me to explain it away. It won't go away. I won't go away. I trust you to stay. No Scully I would say this is real. I would pull you in close for a big kiss. Kiss you so hard your knees would go weak. I will take your breath away. Make you say my name over and over again. And you would say kiss me again. I'd hold your hand. Take you to places you've never been. And it would just start with a kiss. And there is no way I could go back to being your friend. I dream this of you and I. I dream this over and over again. It never ends. Yet I know not how it begins. I am tired of how it always ends. It leaves me unsatisfied wanting more. I pray for the day that you never want me to leave. Because I always end up leaving and to tell you the truth I am tired of always leaving. You can take all the time you need just don't tell me know. This life has got me on a constant go. I can't tell myself to slow down because I may miss you and then be left behind. I never want to be with out you. I may act like I don't care but I really do and it' not fair that you don't see what is right there. I am hot and sticky and it' so lonely in this bed of mine with out you. God knows that we've learned the hard way. I am dying inside to tell you. Just how I feel about you. I know that this is real. I have so much to say. Sometimes I feel lost in my own skin. I can' explain why. You make me week. It's just the way you are. What you hold in front of me. I see you all day and all night long when I am alone. I've got so much to give you. If you would just let me. I feel you deep with in me I feel your love. I may stumble and yet I may fall but you will be there. I see your hand and I take it when I can. In your eyes I see your love. It comes out like a flood. I beg and I plead with the angles at night to let you come to my bed at night. I think that I have made myself clear how I would like to love you dear till I cant feel anything anymore. And I feel your eyes upon me. I feel suddenly at ease and wonderful all the same. ****I WOULD TELL YOU THAT I LOVE YOU AND THAT NOTHING IS THE SAME WITH OUT YOU I AM LOST**** And I would tell you that we are one. I would tell you what we have become. I would tell you that to me your still young. And that we are in no way done. This life has just begun. Then the night it goes black. I am at ease. I am asleep. I sleep to dream about you. I would tell you no more going solo. The dream is still alive and I am here and willing to follow you. And I would tell you there is always tomorrow. And my world comes crashing down. I see it all fall down. The thought of it all just crashing away makes me feel free when it should do the opposite. You're voice it carries from the room next door. I hear you moan my name. I feel myself heat up and my thoughts turn to you and I strain to listen to you call my name. I know that I have made mistakes before. I realize that I have turned you away before. I am not willing to make them again. I need you as something more than a friend. Something tells me that I should see if she is okay. But I can't move, because I love to her you call me that way. I here your footsteps come my way. And I can't tell if it's night or day. Here you are before me now and I see you standing in my room and I am taking aback because I never thought that you would come. I never thought that you would see me here in my room. I am no longer numb. I climb into your bed. Like I feel I have always done. It seems forever. I know that I belong here with you like this. The night seems to take forever as I look at you this way. I lean in to kiss you. I take your tongue in my mouth and it tastes so good. Sculllaayyyyy I never thought that you would come. I moan out your name. Nothing makes sense. I pull you close. Mulder I feel free. I can't get enough of you. If she wants to be free I will show her what it means to be free. I rip off the shirt that I gave her to sleep in. I here her call my name. I don't really care anymore. ===== scooter