From: Lisa Jaynes Date: Mon, 22 Nov 2010 11:57:10 -0500 Subject: "Craving Contact" by Scullystar Source: direct Title: "Craving Contact" Author: Scullystar Distribution: Anywhere as long as my names stays attached and you let me kn ow. Classification: MSR Rating: NC-17 for sexual content and language. Spoilers: General seasons 1-6 Summary: Mulder keeps Scully company during an autopsy while on a case in Boston. Eventual smut ensues. "Craving Contact" Massachusetts General Hospital Morgue Boston, MA October 14 11:03 am Mulder really hated watching Scully perform autopsies. Especially when she would crack open the ribs of the deceased with that...thing she used. Rib cutters. Was that even the technical term for them? He cringed every time she picked them up because that sound...it was horrible. She was reaching for them now actually. He turned away and remembered a time when he had been watching her do this very thing about a month ago to another victim of some horrible crime. He remembered that Scully had stopped in the middle of crunching through bones to look at him, shake her head and wish out loud for a pair of pruning shears which, she had claimed, worked better than the medical instrument in her hand. Mulder wondered to himself how she was able to deal with cutting up bodies, digging around in their organs and removing their insides for further exam without feeling like she was intruding or violating in some way the person on the metal table below her. Granted, it was always a cold, dead, unfeeling person, devoid of all life and modesty, but certainly she couldn't be all steeled clinical detachment, right? As FBI agents they were expected to preform their jobs with a certain amount of detachment when dealing with death, especially when dealing with a death as grizzly and gruesome as the one they were currently in the city investigating but surely it got to her once in a while. He thought he'd pick her brain on the subject later on over a cup of coffee, but not in the hospital cafeteria. Somewhere warm and dimly lit with comfortable armchairs and foamy lattes. There must be a Starbucks somewhere outside the hospital. They were in the center of Boston after all. <<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>> Cambridge Street Boston MA Same Day 2:36 pm Mulder escorted Scully out of MGH with his hand placed at the small of her back. He was more aware of the fact that he was doing it now that another agent, an old acquaintance Bill Howard, had called him out on it. Mulder had never really thought twice about it but now he was acutely aware of his hand lightly touching her every single time. It was like Bill had flicked a switch just by ribbing him about it and made Mulder hyper sensitive to this single act. It was touching her without touching. He knew now that he did it because of a longing for physical contact -- with her. All this time he had thought he was just being a gentleman. The crisp fall morning had turned into a much warmer afternoon. Mulder was pleased to see the tree lined sidewalks were ablaze in the vibrant reds, bright oranges and crisp yellows of autumn leaves. He really loved New England in the fall. Mulder had half forgotten his mission to seek out the nearest coffee shop and treat Scully to a much deserved fancy, foamy caffeinated beverage and almost walked by the perfect spot. From the outside it looked cozy, quiet and mostly empty. Scully allowed him to open the door for her and smiled at him as she stepped under his arm and past him, his hand never leaving her back. "What are you gonna get, Scully?" She studied the chalkboard menus up on the walls behind the registers and made a face while she decided. "Apple cider. Hot. With that caramel stuff they put in it," she answered happily. "Sounds good. Go secure a table for us? Maybe that one by the window with the armchairs?" Scully looked in the direction of Mulder's gaze, nodded and headed over. He watched her as she selected which side to sit on and got comfortable in the plush armchair which was the rich purple color of an eggplant. Mulder placed their order and was soon carrying his cup of coffee and her caramel apple cider to the table. Scully took hers happily and sipped it gingerly after Mulder sat down. "Any good?" Scully nodded and smiled at him. "Very. Thank you for the cider, Mulder. I thought you'd be in a rush to leave after we were done at the hospital." Mulder smiled and sipped his drink. "I'm in no hurry to leave just yet. Ya' know, when I was a kid my parents used to take me and Sam into Boston once in a while. I always remember this time of year being my favorite. One day I remember in particular was a lot like it is today. The weather was slightly warm for fall and the leaves were different colors but not falling yet. I remember getting pumpkin ice cream for the first time and my father hoisting Sam up on his shoulders so she could see the city better. She was about five at the time. My mother was smiling the whole day." Scully smiled sadly at his memory. She liked it when he spoke easily of his childhood. It made her sad to know that all of his fond family memories were from before the time his sister Samantha was taken. "Actually, Scully," Mulder started slowly, "I was thinking a lot whil e you were performing the autopsy and I had a question for you." Scully cocked her head to the side and regarded him for a moment. She was intrigued by any question Mulder might have regarding a recent autopsy since he tended to seem uncomfortable to the point of cringing conspicuously whenever he kept her company during the procedure. "What do you want to know?" "Well..." Mulder was unsure of how to pose the question now that the conversation was actually taking place. Scully leaned in a bit in case whatever he wanted to ask was embarrassing h im. "How do you stay so calm and collected during those things, Scully? I know you're a medical doctor and your job expects you to remain professional and focused on the whole situation as opposed to the dead person you're dealing with but...doesn't it get to you sometimes?" "I've never really thought about it, Mulder." "But subconsciously you must realize that you're doing something most people, hell, some doctors wouldn't be able to handle doing. Even I can't imagine dealing with cutting into someone like that and I've watched you autopsy victims from our cases hundreds of times." "You've made that no secret with your cringing and distractions," she t eased. "I'm serious, Scully. Why does it come so naturally to you? You remain cool and calm and never give a hint that any of it bothers you." Scully huffed and put her cider down on the table in front of her. She had been interested to hear what her partner had been wondering about but now she was slightly offended. Did she seem that unfeeling and stony? Was this really the face she was unknowingly putting on for people? And did he, Mulder, the one person she thought she had opened up to the most really view her this way? "Well, maybe what everyone says is right, Mulder. Maybe I am the Ice Queen. 'Stone cold, unfeeling bitch' I believe is what they say, am I right?" Mulder groaned inwardly. This was not supposed to be how this all went down. He was just supposed to ask her this one simple question and get a nice Scully answer and feel better about the world. After she candy-coated the years of training and mind tricks she must have had to practice before becoming the professional woman she was today they were supposed to finish their drinks and head back to the hotel to go over more case notes. He wasn't supposed to have offended her and he certainly didn't want her thinking he thought she was an Ice Queen. Quite the contrary. "Scully, I didn't mean it like that. I am honestly not only curious but impressed and respectful of the work you do. It was an innocent question. I'm sorry I offended you." Scully's eyes narrowed as she regarded him from across the table. He seemed sincere; she could always tell when he was lying. She let out a long breath. "You didn't say anything wrong." Scully sighed deeply and sipped her drink again before sitting back in her chair and composing herself. "I don't let it get to me because someone is lying dead on a table an I am there to find out why. I am there to do one last thing for these people whose life got taken away prematurely, unexpectedly and sometimes violently. Not just for them but for the families that loved them or the people they leave behind who want answers. I do it without thinking because I do it for us as well. It is part of my work to get to the bottom of whatever case we are investigating and if I let myself get emotional or involved I lose focus and we lose time and evidence. I want to help us, our investigations, the families of whoever I am working on...But when it comes down to it, Mulder...it sucks. At the end of the day, after I've been elbow deep in a corpse, I am tired and emotionally and physically drained. I am sorry for the life that was lost. Being so close to death really makes you appreciate what you have in your own life but right now, Mulder...I don't even have anyone to come home to. Sometimes I just crave contact. To touch and be touched. To talk to someone about anything but work and have dinner with and curl up next to at night. That is why I don't let myself get overwhelmed by what I do. If I let it get to me too much I would be constantly reminded of what my life has turned into. Maybe I am alone by choice, but it doesn't mean I like it very much, Mulder. In fact most nights I fucking hate it." Mulder was shocked silent for a long moment. He never expected Scully to open up to him in this manner. This was beyond anything he thought he would hear from her this day. Scully looked down at her hands. She was surprised at the way she had blurted out everything in her head to her partner who was now staring open-mouthed at her in a fashion that would have been most comical if she wasn't so embarrassed at that moment. Scully stood up and didn't quite meet Mulder's eyes when she asked him if they could head back to the hotel. She made up some excuse about wanting to add her autopsy findings into her report but Mulder knew she was just trying to remove herself from an embarrassing situation as gracefully as possible. Scully grabbed her file from the table and allowed Mulder to hold the door open for her like he always did. This time when his hand brushed the small of her back it sent a shock through her system and she hoped he didn't feel the shiver she couldn't contain run through her. <<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>> Cambridge Courtyard Hotel Cambridge, Boston 6:56 pm. Scully looked out of her window from her sixth story hotel room overlooking the Charles river. She had been pleasantly surprised upon first entering their hotel. Not the usual crap dive they usually stayed in. Staying so close to the city kept their options limited and even for one of the cheaper hotels it was still pretty damned nice. She had stepped into her room after she and Mulder had awkwardly parted ways in the hall to find it cleaner than she had left it and the bed remade with fresh sheets and turned down for her. Scully had been working on her notes and report for the past couple of hours and decided to take a break and her attention had been drawn to the pretty view from her window. She took in the twinkling lights of the city, the giant Citco sign flashing its neon, and looked down by the water to see couples walking, people jogging and single strollers enjoying the mild weather. She made up her mind to take a walk down by the river. She needed to clear her head, shake off her conversation with Mulder, forget the fact that his words had bothered her so much and walk off the heaviness her body felt at night. Scully grabbed her coat and headed out into the evening. <<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>> Mulder wiped a hand over his face and took in a deep breath. His attentions had been only mostly tuned into the movie on his television. He had been listening for any movement in the room next to his. He thought he might hear Scully's TV on as well hinting to what she had been up to for the past couple of hours. He felt like he should go talk to her and apologize. He knew he had offended her but he was worried that she might actually think he thought those horrible things about her. She hadn't given him a chance to explain in the car. When he had tried to bring it up she had put her hand up and told him she didn't want to talk about it anymore. He kept his mouth shut but was determined to talk to her about it at some point this evening. Mulder got up from his bed and walked to the window overlooking the city. He watched the cars pass by on the street below, the people walking their dogs, holding hands or just standing by the rail overlooking the river. There in the distance he recognized a figure standing beneath a street lamp. Red hair and a sharp tailored overcoat. Scully was down by the Charles standing as still as a statue, leaning against the railing looking out over the water. He grabbed his jacket and headed out to join her. <<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>> Scully felt rather than heard Mulder approach her. She had been standing overlooking the water for about fifteen minutes, not quite ready to start her walk yet. The heaviness she had been feeling weighed down on her more than ever with his appearance. The funny thing was, she mused, in another life with circumstances different from what they were now, Mulder might just be the person to make the heaviness go away. She certainly wanted him to be the one to do this in this lifetime. It would be so easy yet it was the most difficult thing to admit or act on. To touch. To be touched. By him. That's all she had wanted for some time now. Before her sister had been killed. Before had almost kissed her in his hallway. Before Diana Fowley had entered their lives. Even before she had taken off with C.G.B Spender and the bastard had told her that she would never allow herself to love Mulder. Spender had been so wrong. Of course she had allowed herself to love him. She just could not allow herself to tell Mulder she did. Mulder came up beside her silently. He leaned against the railing mimicking her stance and Scully smiled to herself. He was determined to keep their conversation from that afternoon going. Scully waited for him to speak. "Nice night for a walk," he said quietly. She didn't look at him. "Yes." Mulder's hand found the small of her back once more as they moved together along the sidewalk walking slowly. Their silence wasn't uncomfortable. She knew what he wanted to talk to her about and he knew he would get to it eventually. Right now they were both honestly enjoying the company and the evening. Walking along a foot bridge, Mulder slowed to a stop about halfway across and leaned on his hands to look over the stone barrier down at the water once more. Scully stood close next to him and breathed deeply. The sky was starry and clear. She was glad it wasn't too chilly. "Scully, you are not an Ice Queen," he said seriously. "No, Mulder, I'm not," she agreed. "I don't think of you that way. In fact, I think you are the very opposite of anything any of the assholes at work say about you." "Thank you, Mulder." "They don't matter anyway. Nothing they think or say matters. They don't know you the way I do. You're amazing without even trying." He turned to face her. "I hope you know that," he pressed. Scully looked down at the water, unsure of how to react to his compliment. "I never thought about it, Mulder. I suppose I would have to have a rather high opinion of myself to think that way." "You don't?" "Like I said -- I never thought about it." "You should." They were quiet again for a few minutes. Mulder's hand had pressed to her back again and she leaned into his so his touch wasn't so gentle. A breeze had picked up and blew Scully's hair into her face. Mulder reached up and smoothed the strands away from her cheek, his thumb brushing the side of her face in slow strokes and she looked up at him, her eyes bright. "In fact...I should think about it more often myself," he said softly. "You are an amazing woman, Dana Scully. I'm sorry I made you think I thought otherwise earlier today. I didn't mean to offend you." Mulder's hand dropped from her face and she sighed. "I'm sorry I let it get to me. I know you don't think of me as some cold, unfeeling bitch, Mulder, but sometimes I wonder if that's the face I put on for people without meaning to. Just because I'm invested in our work and I'm protective of it, of us, people get the wrong impression. I think I've driven everyone away unintentionally and it makes me wonder if that's why I'm alone or if it's another reason completely." "Which would be...?" Scully turned away from him then. She knew this was starting to get personal, maybe a little bit too much now. She couldn't tell him the real reason she was alone. 'I am alone because you are all I want' would not make it to her lips. "Scully..." He touched her face again and she looked up at him. He realized how conflicted she was just by looking in her eyes. He saw the fight going on in her mind. To tell him her secret or to keep him guessing -- it was pulling her in two different directions and neither of them was what she wanted. She couldn't bring herself to speak her heart but Mulder thought he had a pretty good idea of what she wanted to say. If what she was going through was anything like what he was dealing with he knew exactly what she wanted to tell him. Scully had only opened up to him like this once before but she was gone the next morning and they never spoken of it again. Could she love him? Could she really be alone because she wanted him? Did she think it wouldn't be right or did she have some delusion in her head that made her think he was unattainable? Was she just afraid of rejection or was it something so deeply rooted in friendship that she didn't want to risk what they had by asking for more? "At night when I'm sitting alone in my apartment or at the office after you've gone home for the day or when I'm sitting in my hotel room by myself with you on the other side of the wall, I wonder, Scully." "Wonder what?" "I wonder what the hell is wrong with me. I wonder what the problem is, why we're not together at those moments. Nothing is stopping us but ourselves. It would be so easy to invite you over and go to dinner. Watch TV together. Make love to you and wake up with you in the morning." Scully couldn't help the sharp intake of breath she took at his last statement and felt herself warm all over in a mixture of embarrassment and desire. She watched Mulder move closer to her and felt his arms circle her in a bear hug. She allowed herself to breathe again and closed her eyes, resting her head against his chest. This was happening. He read her mind and told her everything she wanted to say to him except they were his feelings. They mirrored her own. Scully pulled back and leaned up to kiss his jaw. Mulder placed a kiss by her ear. She returned the favor by pressing her lips to his neck and he leaned in to kiss her lips. They remained locked like that for breathless minutes, unaware of passersby or anything else that would have normally been a distraction. They broke away panting. He liked the way her lips were red and swollen and her face was flushed. He pulled her to him again by the waist. "Come here," he breathed and kissed her hard. "Ice Queen my ass," Mulder smiled at her as they stood there with their arms around each other. "Let's go back. I think I want to discuss this somewhere more private," Scully said not without a hint of a smile. Mulder nodded and they headed back to the hotel. <<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>> Scully's room was one door closer and they headed in. Shrugging her coat from her shoulders, she turned to face Mulder who had already rid himself of his jacket. Had she brought them there to talk or had she really been hoping that he would kiss her again? Mulder sat himself on the corner of her bed and she joined him there, sitting so close that their legs and arms were pressed tightly against each other. He grinned and they kissed again, slowly this time, making sure they didn't rush anything. Mulder eased Scully back into the mattress and she groaned when she felt his weight cover her. His fingers flicked the top three buttons of her blouse open and he caressed the skin of her neck, collarbone and tops of her breasts above the lace of her simple white bra. Scully, not wanting to be left out, worked his sweater off over his head and slid her hands down his sides over his soft black cotton tee shirt. So much for talking. Mulder pulled back suddenly and cupped the side of her face in his large ha nd. "Scully...I want this so bad but I don't want to rush things." "You aren't." He grinned down at her and captured her lips with his for another long kiss. She felt him pressing into her thigh with his erection and ground her hips up into his. Mulder groaned and Scully kissed him harder. The two of them focused on removing clothes and were soon comfortably situated in the middle of the mattress, skin to skin, their hands and lips exploring each other. Mulder's hands palmed over Scully's stomach and up across each breast. He took his time and caressed her all over with both hands like he was using them to map out her body forever in his mind. Scully sighed at the warm contact and closed her eyes as her desire grew fierce in her belly. Scully moved one leg under him and he found himself between her pale thighs, pressing into her with his arousal. The tip found wetness and he thrust against her lazily as he kissed her neck and pulled her left nipple between his fingers. Scully adjusted herself so that he was settled right at her entrance and she reached down between them to wrap her hand around his cock. "Scully..." She eased him inside and they both grunted in approval at the familiar sensation. Mulder felt Scully's legs wrap around him and her nails dig into his shoulders. He set a slow pace and gasped at the reality of being buried inside of Dana Scully. After all the years his dreams had hinted at this, to be sweaty and naked and loving her was nothing short of amazing. Mulder was determined to make this last as long as he could. He was loving the way she moved under him and the way her nipples rubbed against his chest as he thrust. Mulder listened to her groan and buried his face in her neck. His thrusting sped up and Scully brought her knees up close to his shoulders changing the angle and he bit into her shoulder as he pushed in deeper still. "Oh, god, Mulder..." He felt her contracting around him as she cried out. He was not far behind. Scully's hands found his ass and she was pulling him into her and kissing him so hard. He grunted her name as he came inside her and pulled her closer to him, not wanting to break the contact. They stayed joined for a few minutes, their breathing slowing and their bodies cooling down. Mulder kissed the tip of Scully's nose and they smiled at each other. Scully chuckled and shook her head. "I can't believe we just did that." Mulder chose this moment to move next to her on the mattress. He pulled Scully against him and they curled around each other quite naturally. "I know, Scully," he said softly, sadly. "Mulder?" Scully ran her hand over his chest and propped herself up on her elbow to get a better look at her partner. "Don't misunderstand, Scully. I'm feeling pretty fucking amazing right now. Just thinking about all the time we've lost. How we could have done this ages ago but have been too afraid." "We've had our reasons, both of us. But you're right. We have some time to make up for it seems." Mulder smiled and kissed her lips. "I am all for making up lost time. Does it involve you naked in bed with me?" Scully grinned wickedly. "I think a lot of it does, yes." "We have a good start then," he said and gathered her into his arms. Scully pulled blankets over them and pressed into Mulder's side. Mulder kissed the top of Scully's head and smiled. "Ice Queen my ass." End. <<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>> -- .:Born to Blossom Bloom to Perish:.