Date: Mon, 09 Nov 1998 08:15:52 GMT Subject: New: Crossed Lines II Crossed Lines II by Louise Valmoria valmoria@eisa.net.au Well, some people wanted a sequel. This way is funnier. Rating: PG Summary: What the freak is going on with the FBI phone lines! This time *Mulder* gets in on the act . . . Keywords: ?!! Disclaimer: Mulder isn't mine. Scully isn't mine. Skinner isn't mine. They are the wonderful creations of Chris Carter and I am just throwing them into mayhem for a little while. Don't sue me! I don't have any money and they will be fine. Laura, whoever she is, is my creation. I just have to figure out what I'm going to do with her. A week later *Ring* *Ring* "Hello?" "Mulder, it's me." "Hi, me." Dana Scully rolled her eyes and sat back in her partner's chair, idly looking over her partner's desk. Mulder's absence allowed her to pretend to take over the office sometimes. "May I ask where you possibly be going to get us lunch? It's been over an hour." "Well, you see Scully, I was going to fly over and get some genuine Chinese cuisine for once." Scully rolled her eyes. "Just get back here." At the other end of the line, Mulder was carefully studying the menu for a roadside restaurant -- practically in the middle of nowhere. "So what'll it be, Scully? Greasy hamburgers or soggy fries?" "You could get me a horse's head for all I care. Next time, I'm buying." Mulder smiled wryly. "Yeah, I know, you haven't made good on that one yet." "This is just your excuse for getting out of the paperwork," Scully said, a threatening tone in her voice. "Actually, you're right, but --" As Mulder was going to shoot back a snappy reply, the phone clicked and suddenly there was a sexy female voice. "Hello, Walter?" Mulder's eyebrow shot up. He didn't mind hearing such a voice, but why the hell would she call him Walter? "Laura, I told you not to call me today, I'm busy," ordered the unmistakable voice of his superior. Mulder fell silent, listening curiously, and he sensed on the other end of the line, Scully was too. "I just wanted to know why the white knight left his damsel all alone in the office," Laura said. <> Mulder wondered. <> Mulder thought, smiling guiltily at his cruelty. Skinner sighed. "Laura, you've been talking about this for two weeks now, I wish you'd give it rest." "But Walter, darling --" Laura purred. Mulder's *other* eyebrow shot up. <> he asked himself. <> <> <> He pondered over that thought for a minute before dismissing it. If a call from the *FBI* could get crossed so easily . . . "Laura, I'll tell you once and I'll tell you again -- Agents Mulder and Scully are not romantically involved. And don't go setting them up, either, you may ruin the best partnership there is in the Bureau." Mulder was trying to let *that* one sink in, but the dissatisfied purr/growl emanating from Laura's side of the line was *very* distracting. "Walter . . . aw, you let me have no fun." Skinner's stern tone softened somewhat. "I just don't want to see anything get compromised." "Come over to my place again and we'll see about getting things compromised . . ." Mulder tuned out in semi-disgust and let the full impact of Laura's previous words sink in. <> "Uh, Scully," he began, hating his voice for cracking slightly. "Did you just hear what I just heard?" There was a pause, and he could hear Scully swallow on the other end of the line. "I don't know," she parried, her voice also giving away the fact that she was rattled. "Tell me what you think you heard and I'll tell you if that's what I heard --" "Scully, if I tell you what I heard, you'd refuse to say you heard it to make me think I heard something else." "Mulder --" Another voice broke into their play on words. "Uh, Laura," Skinner's voice echoed down the line, "Did *you* just hear what *I* just heard?" "Oh, no," Scully groaned. "Couldn't agree with you more, Scully," Mulder said. A long pause stretched out between point A and point B. Or actually, in a four-sided shape between the befuddled conversationalists. "Agents?" "Sir?" "Mulder and Scully, the two --" "Laura!" Skinner's voice cut in on the uncomfortable phone conference. Mulder couldn't resist. "She sounds pretty hot, sir." "Mulder . . ." Scully said, a warning tone in her voice. "Why thank you, Agent Mulder. You sound pretty hot too. Oh, wait. You're taken." "Uh . . . you'll have to excuse us," Skinner quickly said. Mulder couldn't help grinning, the menu in front of him forgotten as he contemplated this ridiculous situation. "I'm sorry we interrupted, Agents." "Very sorry. Kiss kiss," Laura said silkily, then they both disconnected. Mulder tried to refocus his attention on his conversation with Scully, but was slightly thrown by that. "Was that 'kiss kiss' directed at Skinner or *you*, Mulder?" Scully asked unsteadily. "Would it matter?" Mulder shot back. She paused, and Mulder could almost see her biting her lip in anxiety. "No," she answered. "That's a long time to hesitate, Agent Scully," Mulder teased her. "Mulder?" He didn't answer for a long time, trying to figure out what her voice was telling him. There was an almost seductive element to it -- much like that mysterious Laura's on the bizarre four-way phone call. "Yes?" he finally answered, cursing himself for sounding so off-balance and knowing it. "Shut up and get me my lunch," Scully said, and hung up. Mulder listened to the dial tone in his ears for a long while before finally disconnecting and refocusing his attention on the menu. "I've heard of bugging phones, but the bugs aren't supposed to talk back," he muttered, finally deciding on *both* of the greasy hamburgers and soggy fries. END (for now . . .) Putting them away now for fear of phone mayhem overdose! Someone e-mail me and tell me they read my story. Please? You could even ask why the hell such a place as the FBI would have problems with crossed lines . . . valmoria@eisa.net.au If the idea of sending to that one kills you, try louieval@hotmail.com All feedback will be gratefully recieved and replied to. Even if their flames (but they will not be as gratefully replied to) bye!