This story takes place during and after "End Game". No action here, just a lot of thinking on Scully's part. It ties in with "Contemplation", so if you haven't read it, maybe you should go and find it now. The characters of Dana Scully, Fox Mulder, Assistant Director Skinner and Mr. X are the property of Chris Carter and Ten Thirteen Productions, and are used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended. Some of the dialogue and events are taken from Henry Lee's story "Contemplation", and are used with permission. (Thanks Henry!) This story, however, is the product of my own imagination. (Copyright 1995 Anik Duclos) Author's note: I had a really hard time with this one. It went through several major rewrites, and I'm still not sure it works. So, I would _really_ appreciate any comments. Please? I can take it... Here goes... _____________________________________________ CROSSING THE LINE - By Anik Duclos --------------------------------------------------------------------- To: Dana Scully, 001013 From: Fox Mulder, 000517 Scully - when you get this message I will be too far away for you to stop me, but where I'm going I cannot allow you to follow. I won't let you jeopardize your life and your career for reasons purely personal to me. You were right, Scully -- you said a line has to be drawn somewhere. I'm drawing it for you here. I'll contact you when I can. --------------------------------------------------------------------- As she read the message, Scully could feel herself getting angry. What did he think he was doing? Who was he to decide where to draw the line? It should have been her decision. Hers! Damn him! He was always there for her, but the minute he ran into trouble, he shut her out. Well, she wasn't going to just sit by idly and wait for him to return. She would find him, whether he wanted it or not. As she sat there, staring at the computer screen, Scully felt her anger fade. She was worried about him. She knew this case had been though on him. And although she knew that none of it had been her fault, she felt responsible for what he was going through. After all, he had traded his chance to find Samantha in order to save her life. Her heart gave a painful squeeze when she thought of all the pain she had inadvertently caused him. She owed him. "Oh Mulder, where are you?..." _________________________________________________ Mulder's apartment Five hours later Assistant Director Skinner had been of no help. Scully didn't know why she had even bothered going to him. "I can't help you, agent Scully," he had said. "Agent Mulder's actions in this case are in violation of his duties, his oath of trust, and Bureau protocol. He has risked my position, your life..." She had to keep from screaming at him. "Agent Mulder saved my life!" she had answered, her voice trembling with emotion. "If he wanted or expected you to do the same, he would have told you where he was going." Scully knew he was right, but refused to give up. He needed her. She was going to find him. Sighing, she let her gaze wander around the apartment, looking for possible clues as to Mulder's whereabouts. Her gaze settled on the window, where an X was fashioned out of tape. Mr X... If Mulder had contacted him, then maybe he knew where Mulder had gone. It was worth a try. Scully got up, turned on the desk lamp, and waited. Time passed, she had no idea exactly how much. She waited. She drifted over to the couch, and settled down. She waited. _________________________________________________ Footsteps... A knock at the door. Scully was jolted awake. She went to the door and opened it, to reveal a man standing there, a man she presumed to be Mr X. "Where's Mulder?", she asked. No answer. "Where's Mulder? I need to know, dammit! I'm loosing time!". "I'm sorry. I can't help you" Another dead end. No one would help her. Scully was getting frantic. Every passing minute meant more danger for Mulder. Damn it, where could he be? She collapsed on the couch, trying to hold back the burning tears that threatened to overwhelm her. Crying wouldn't help Mulder, she lectured herself. She had to think. A knock on the door. Mr X? Scully instead found herself staring into the battered face of Assistant Director Skinner. "Agent Mulder took a commercial flight to Tacoma, Washington. From there, he caught a military plane to Dead Horse, Alaska. He used his FBI credentials to charter an all-terrain vehicle. Still a ten-mile hike across the ice. Here are the coordinates of his final destination," he said, handing her a piece of paper with the information written on it. Scully was stunned. Skinner had come through after all. She now knew where Mulder was. She only hoped she could get to him in time... _________________________________________________ Somewhere over British Colombia Scully was the only passenger aboard the military plane. She just sat there, eyes closed, trying very hard not to think. But it wasn't working. She knew only too well what the bounty hunter was capable of. She shuddered at the memory of his flinging her around like a rag doll. She knew he wouldn't hesitate to kill Mulder if he got in the way. Scully opened her eyes and saw the pilot walking towards her, a grim expression on his face. Her hearth sank. "Oh god, no..." "Agent Scully? They found him. Out on the ice." "Is he dead?" she forced herself to ask, her voice shaking. "No, he's alive. He's in pretty bad shape, though. Suffering from acute hypothermia. They're flying him over to Eisenhower Field... They don't think he's going to make it." Scully said nothing. "I'm sorry, ma'am." "How long... How long until we get there?" "About 30 minutes." "Thank you." A pain greater than she had ever known welled up inside her. She was dimly aware of the tears that were running freely down her cheeks. "Mulder..." she said, in a choked voice, "Oh god, Mulder..." She just sat there, numb. She was oblivious to everything but the pain of losing him. Mulder... There were so many things she had never told him. Now she'd never have the chance... No! What was she doing? She couldn't give up. He wasn't dead yet. She had to think positively. He would make it through this. "Hold on, Mulder. Please hold on." Scully repeated the words over and over again, hoping that he could hear her, somehow. "Hold on..." _________________________________________________ Eisenhower Field Medical Base By the time they landed, Scully was in a state of total panic. The pilot had tried to raise the reconnaissance team to get an update on Mulder's status, but hadn't been able to reach them. She couldn't be too late. She couldn't... Scully burst into the ER. Then she saw him. Oh God... His eyes were blackened where capillaries had burst, and his color was a pasty gray. They had him in a tub, trying to get his body temperature back up. Standard procedure for hypothermia, she knew. But this wasn't plain hypothermia. She had to make them get him out of that tub or he would end up dead, just like agent Weiss. She tried to explain, tried to make them understand, but they wouldn't even listen to her. Almost threw out of the ER altogether. But Scully refused to give up. Mulder needed her. As she was trying to force them listen to her, Mulder's heart stopped. Scully's whole world was reduced to the sound of the monitor flatlining. "NO!!!" her mind screamed. The doctor, out of desperation, let her take over. Scully threw herself into the task of saving him. Of saving herself... After what seemed like an eternity, the monitor bleeped. A heartbeat. A tiny spark of life. "He's going to make it," Scully said, more for herself than anyone else. He would be alright. She could feel it. She became oblivious to the nurses, who were intubating Mulder, hooking him up to various monitors. All she could think about was that he'd be alright. She looked down at his face, and tenderly stroked his hair. "I'm here, Mulder. It's up to you now. You have to fight. Please. I need you..." _________________________________________________ At first, it was kind of touch and go. Mulder was alive, but just barely. Scully sat by his side in lonely vigil, thinking... praying... His condition started improving, slowly. They had managed to eradicate the retrovirus, but his system still had to recover from the hypothermia. Scully spent most every waking moment at his bedside, only going back to the little room they had assigned her to sleep. She needed to be near him. Whether that was for his sake or her own, she wasn't sure. All she knew was that she had come close to losing him, and never wanted to go through that again. Life without Mulder was not something she wanted to experience. When had that happened, she wondered. When had he become the most important thing in her life? Was it only two years ago that she had first walked into that basement office, her job to spy on "spooky" Mulder? Two years during which they had become partners, friends... He had come to mean so much to her, so much more than she had been willing to admit. Scully thought back to Mulder's behavior of the last few months. The way he had kept hovering around her, trying to shield her from danger. The way he would touch her arm, cup her chin to look into her eyes, always asking if she was alright. His over- protectiveness had annoyed her to no end. After all, she was a trained agent. She could take care of herself. But now she understood that it wasn't her ability to fend for herself that Mulder had doubted, but his own ability to cope with the loss. He had needed to make sure that she was still there for him. She understood. She too didn't want to find out how her life would be without Mulder in it. She reached out to touch his arm, then smiled to herself. Now she was doing it... His condition kept improving. The tubes that had kept him alive were being removed, one by one. He was still bruised, had a few broken bones and a dislocated shoulder, but he would be alright. He would need to rest for a few weeks, but he would be alright. He would be alright... Mulder still hadn't regained consciousness. But Scully knew... She just sat by his side, periodically reaching out to touch his arm, hoping that the simple contact was enough to let Mulder know that he had something to fight for, something to come back to. And then one fateful morning, Scully came in and took a seat next to Mulder's bed, as she had done every day for the past week. She sat there, her head bent, reaching out to touch his arm, willing him to come back to her. Then she heard a soft groan. Mulder! She looked up at him. He was awake! "Hey..." Mulder turned to look at her. The sight of those beautiful hazel eyes filled her with joy. She smiled, one of those full-fledged smiles she rarely allowed herself. "How are you feeling?" she asked him. "Like I got a bad case of freezer burn..." Scully smiled again. Leave it to Mulder to made a joke at a time like this. "Thanks for ditching me." "I'm sorry. I couldn't risk your life on this." As Mulder apologized for leaving her behind, Scully realized that it had been partly her fault. Since her abduction, she had been pushing Mulder away, not wanting to depend on him, not wanting him to feel like he had to take care of her. It was no wonder that he had pushed her away when placed in a similar situation. He hadn't wanted to cross the line she had drawn. Scully got up leave so that Mulder may rest a bit, but he pleaded with her to stay. She gave in and sat back down, smiling. Neither one of them said much, content just to be in the other's company. After a while, Mulder's breathing became more regular. "Mulder?" she whispered softly. No answer. He was asleep. She got up and started towards the door but paused halfway there. She turned, and came back to his bedside. She stroked his hair, tenderly, and, ever so gently, brushed his lips with hers. Mulder stirred, but didn't wake. "Welcome back, Mulder." ___________________________________________________ Washington, D.C. The plane ride back to D.C. had been uneventful. Mulder had kept to himself. She respected his wish for solitude, and said little, only breaking the silence occasionally to ask him if he was feeling alright. "I'm fine," he invariably replied. She could tell he wasn't, but decided to let it go. She was hoping that, in time, he would confide in her. She had dropped him off at his apartment, making him promise to take it easy. He had agreed listlessly. She was worried about him, but once again decided to let it go. He just needed some time, she reasoned. He would come around. Days went by. Scully called his apartment. No answer. She left messages. He didn't call her back. She was starting to get angry again. He was pushing her away again. She felt so helpless! But there was nothing she could do. It was his move. This time, he had to be the one to come to her. And so she waited. And worried. He finally called the next day. All of Scully's anger melted away when she heard his voice. She hadn't realized how much she had missed him in just three days. "How are you feeling?" she asked him. "I'm alright." "Are you taking your medication?" "Yes." "And are you getting some rest? You know you need to rest..." "Yes, auntie Dana." She allowed herself a small smile. She knew she was mothering him, but couldn't help it. Well, he must be feeling better if he was making jokes. She made him promise to call her back the next day, then hung up. _____________________________________________ Scully was jolted awake by the ringing of the telephone. She glanced at the clock on her nightstand. 7:15. Mulder, her sleep- fogged brain informed her. She snatched up the phone. "Scully." "Good morning, Scully. It's me." "Well, if it isn't Mulder, as I live and breathe... what brings the pleasure of this call?" she teased him, grinning. Silence. "Mulder? Mulder, what's wrong?" Scully was getting concerned. Just as she was about to hang up the phone and go over to his place to check on him, Mulder spoke. "May I come over? I need to talk to you." Something was wrong. She could tell by the tone of his voice. "Sure. I'll see you in about 15 minutes. I'll even make some breakfast. That o.k.?" "Fine. Just don't burn the eggs, Scully." Scully wasn't fooled by his attempt at levity, but decided to play along anyways. "Another crack like that, Mulder, and you'll be sucking them raw through a straw." She was rewarded by a small chuckle. Not quite a full-blown Mulder chuckle, but an improvement nonetheless. "Promises, promises... see you." Scully hung up the phone, a thoughtful expression on her face. Mulder had sounded strange. She couldn't quite figure out what she had heard in his voice. He didn't sound like he was hiding something, but more like he was afraid... No, not afraid. Unsure... She wondered what in the world could make Mulder feel unsure of himself. He was probably the most confident person she had ever met. Well, there was no sense in trying to guess what went on inside that head of his. Besides, he'd be here any minute, and then she'd know. She got out of bed, got started on breakfast, and waited for Mulder to arrive. The doorbell rang... The End All right Henry, the ball is in your court now. How about a sequel? ;-)