From: Nicole Baker Date: Wed, 8 Sep 1999 20:27:21 -0700 (PDT) Subject: xfc: Crush, part 1/20 Source: xfc From: Nicole Baker Title: Crush Author: Diana Fowley Rating: R Kewords: MSR, Category: MSR primarily, some angst Spoilers: Milagro, Unnatural Summary: Mulder confronts Scully after the events in Milagro. This causes their relationship to change drastically. Disclaimer: No X-File here, just romance. The characters are not mine. They belong to Chris Carter. The event in this story will never, ever actually happen on the X-Files, so because I would love to see them happen, I stole the characters and used them in my own little fantasy world. I also stole a scene from "The Unnatural," and the lyrics to "Crush" which is performed by the Dave Matthew's Band. The song of "She's All I Ever Had" is performed by Ricky Martin. Archive: Anywhere as long as my name is attached and you let me know so I can keep track of where my stories are. Seed feedback to agtdianafowley@yahoo.com part 1 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX When I heard the shots my heart stopped. Scully. That was all I could think about. I left her again and she was in trouble, hurt, possibly.... No. I know longer cared about Paget or his story or this case. All I cared about was Scully and her safety. When I opened the door to my apartment, it was completely silent, too silent. Then I saw it. Her. Scully. And my heart stopped. She was lying on the floor, her normally pristine white blouse soaked in blood, her blood. I walked forward, hoping, searching for any signs of life. I knew that if she died, there, on my floor, because of me, she would not be the only one. I would not let her die alone. Then her eyes snapped opened and she moved to fight off her intruder. I was so shocked and relieved that all I could do was grab her shoulders and look into her eyes. I needed to know it was real. The moment when she wrapped her arms around was quite possibly the happiest moment of my life. She was alive. Alive. I held her until she her sobs began to subside. Then I carefully snaked an arm under her knees and carried her to the couch. As I tried to lay her down she began to panic and called my name, her breath ragged. "Shhh..Scully, it's okay, I'm here." "Mulder, please don't go," she sobbed. And I didn't. I sat on my old leather sofa cradling Scully in my arms, whispering gentle words and reassuring phrases, gently rubbing my hand across her smooth, soft face and trough her silky hair. When she finally calmed down I picked her up and laid her on down and the couch. I sat beside her, our hips touching, and looked into her eyes. "You okay?" I finally asked. "Yeah," was her reply as she tried to sit up. My hands on her shoulders prevented her from rising. "Lie down here for a minute. I need to call an ambulance so they can check you out." "Mulder, that's not necessary?" she said groggily, trying to rise from the sofa".. I'm fine." I chuckled at that. "No, Scully, your not. You lost a lot of blood." "Mulder," Scully protested, her eyes slowly closing, "I'm a doctor and I know I'm fine. I just?need to get cleaned up?" "I still want you to get checked out." Scully opened her eyes so I could see how adamant she was about this, "Mulder, really, I'm fine." I knew I wouldn't win so I settled for helping her to the bathroom so she could clean herself up. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I know I should go to the hospital. I know I lost a lot of blood. I also know that after everything that has happened in the last few days, here with Mulder is the only place I will feel safe. I still don't completely understand what happened to me or what is going on, but I know I need to get cleaned up. I figure that I can look myself over in the bathroom. If anything seems to be wrong, then I will let Mulder take me to the hospital. I did let Mulder help me into the bathroom. He gathered a wash rag and soap and pulled the door shut as he left. I managed to pull my blouse off, which was soundly adhered to my skin with drying blood, and was about to start on my bra when I knock sounded. "Scully? Um? I brought you some clothes to change into" I usually would have covered myself but since the only option was a bloody blouse, I yelled, "Come in, Mulder" Mulder walked in but when he realized I wasn't wearing a shirt, turned his eyes away and mumbled, "Sorry, Scully." Setting the cloth on the sink, he turned to leave. Once he was gone I removed my bra and tried the best I could to clean my self up. That's when I realized that there was no way I would be able to get all the blood off with just this cloth. So I stripped the rest of the way and jumped into Mulder's shower. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX When Scully came out of the bathroom, she looked much better. Her hair was wet and sticking to her face and my Knicks jersey hung down to at least her knees. I was so happy that she was okay and she looked so wonderful, that I just sat on the couch and watched her emerge from my bathroom. She fidgeted under my close scrutiny. "You look cute Scully." I cracked, trying to cover my gaze. "Perfect fit." She replied smiling. God, I know I couldn't live another day knowing that I would never see her smile again. Then she yawned, "You tired?" "Yeah?" she acknowledged "but I don't want to go home. I don't want to be alone..." "It's okay Scully, you're always welcome here you know that. Take the bed, Scully, I'll be on the couch when you wake up, you won't be alone. Unless, of course you want to join me on the couch." She smiles, "The bed will be fine," she says and heads to the bedroom and I settle into the couch knowing that Scully is safe in the next room, at least for the time being. end part 1 === AIM: xflznicole "From birth all we ever truly want is for people to love us. Whether we're black or white, businessmen or crack whores, satanic lesbians or self-mutalating homophobes, Barbra Streisand or Gary Coleman; it's what makes the world go 'round. So, if you're out there, David Duchovny, why won't you love me? Why?" ~Jerry Springer on Bree Sharp video. part 2 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I wake in Mulder's bed with a start. A dream. It was a dream. I hate this. I hate being this afraid. I know I won't be able to go back to sleep. Every time I close my eyes I see his face and feel his hand reaching inside my chest... I wonder if Mulder's offer still stands. I would love to join him on the couch. I know he thinks that I thought he was joking. I also know that he really wasn't. Then I hear it. Sobbing coming from the living room. Mulder must be having a nightmare again. As I approach the couch Mulder turns and looks at me, tears streaming down his face. "Scully?" he chokes. "Its okay Mulder I'm here. It was just a bad dream." I say, sitting next to him on the couch. "No, Scully." "Shhh, tell me about it." "It wasn't a dream, Scully. I almost lost you today, Really lost you. When I walked in and found you on the floor, I didn't know what to do. I just new that..." "What Mulder?" "I knew that I couldn't and wouldn't live without you..." he whispered. "Oh Mulder, please don't say that. I'm not going anywhere. I promise." I smooth his hair on his forehead and run the back of my hand down his cheeks, ours eyes locked. He grabs my hands and pulls it too his mouth and places a kiss on my knuckles, his eyes never leaving my face. He releases my hand and I lean in and kiss the tears that are still on his face. I kiss he cheeks, his eyelids, the tip of his nose. Before I realize what I am doing I gently brush my lips over his, finishing the kiss he started months ago, just outside this apartment. I have always wondered what would have happened if not for the bee. I my mind it was something like this. Us, on his couch or us in his bed. Finally expressing in actions the love we have never been able to express in words. I brush my lips over his again, just as gently and as chaste. "Scully," he whispers and pushes a wavy strand of hair from my face. It is not a question, but and acknowledgment. He wants this too. I lean in again, this time he meets me halfway. We kiss slowly at first and then the passion starts to build. He snakes one hand behind my head anchoring my mouth to his, and the other around my waist, pulling my body snugly against his. We explore each other's mouths, faces, and necks. My position soon become awkward and uncomfortable so I move so I am laying on top of him on the couch. I can feel him hard against my stomach. I gasp at the feeling and pull my lips from his. "Scully, we don't have to do this." "Yes, Yes we do." I say as I pull his full lower lip into my mouth. I suck and give him a little bite and then smooth the damage with my tongue It is his turn to moan as he sucks my tongue into his mouth. We explore each other for a long time until Mulder breaks the kiss. "Scully, are you sure. I feel like I'm taking advantage of you in a weakened state." "Mulder," I laugh, rotation my hips to increase contact, "As I recall, *I* am the one who found *you* in a weakened state. *I* was the one to kiss *you*." He started to protest, but I silenced him with another kiss. "In that case, let's take this somewhere more comfortable." He kisses me again, picks me up, and carries me to the bedroom. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I wake up with a warm weight on my right side. I look down and see a fan of vibrant read hair spread across my chest. Scully. Memories of last night come rushing back to me. I don't think I have ever been happier. I never want this to end. I pull her closer to me and she gives a contented sigh. There will be no more nightmares for either of us tonight. When I wake up again the sun is streaming trough the windows. "Scully," I whisper as I reach for her but find that she has been replaced by a yellow piece of paper. I immediately panic and then notice that it is her precise handwriting on the paper. Mulder, I am sorry not to be here when you wake up. I needed to go. Last night was wonderful. I have no regrets but I don't think that us having this kind of relationship is a good idea. I need you Mulder, as a partner, a protector, and as a best friend. I hope that we can go back to that. Please don't call me, Mulder. We both need time to think about this. We can talk tonight. Come over for takeout and a movie. Scully I pull the paper to my chest and cry. end part 2 === AIM: xflznicole "From birth all we ever truly want is for people to love us. Whether we're black or white, businessmen or crack whores, satanic lesbians or self-mutalating homophobes, Barbra Streisand or Gary Coleman; it's what makes the world go 'round. So, if you're out there, David Duchovny, why won't you love me? Why?" ~Jerry Springer on Bree Sharp video. part 3 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I knew the note would kill Mulder. Last night I told him I would never leave and then I did, without even saying good-bye. I had to though. It was too much. I need Mulder. I need his strength and his friendship. Last night was about healing. I needed to feel alive and he needed to know that I was alive and there for him. I needed Mulder last night. Today, I need to go back to our routine. I don't need to try to make a relationship work along with everything else that is going on in our lives. I pray he understands. I know that every woman he had ever loved has hurt him, his mother, Phoebe and I suspect Diana. I know I have been added to that list. I just hope I haven't done something that can not be repaired. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I knock on Scully's door at about 7:30. I am wanting to see her and not, all at the same time. I spent most of the morning in bed, clutching her note in my hand. By the afternoon, I was mad. Mad at Scully for leaving and mad at myself for caring that she left. Mad because I should have been stronger last night. Mad because I couldn't bring myself to regret anything that had happened. As the day went on, I began to understand why she did what she did. I know that she loves me and didn't want to hurt me but was afraid that more pain would come from us giving a relationship a try and failing than from not trying at all. Now I hope that we can get things back to how they were. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX When I heard him knock, my pulse began to race. I was partially nervous to see him, to see his reaction to me and partially excited. My body wanted him. My mind knew that that was not a possibility. I opened the door and he surprised me with a smile and a bouquet of wildflowers. "Good evening Scully, " he said placing a quick kiss on my cheek. "Mulder.." I warned, taking the flowers. "I was just bring my best friend some flowers as a thanks for inviting me to dinner." "Come in Mulder. Have a seat the food will be here anytime." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX The evening went smoothly. We made small talk, ate, and settled in to watch the movie. When I put my arm around her and pulled her closer, she gave me a warning look but then relaxed back against my chest. We sat like that silently until the credits rolled. "Mulder, we need to talk" Scully said, not moving from her position. "We do." I replied. "I'm sorry I hurt you this morning." "You did. I forgive you. You were right." She chuckled, "I never thought I'd hear you say that." Then, "so this is all okay with you?" "Not entirely, but I do understand. I want a relationship with you, Scully, any way I can get one. You are too important to me to lose over this." "Thank you Mulder. I was afraid I had ruined this for us." I wrapped and arm across her chest and pulled her back against me in a kind of hug. "You didn't ruin anything. " We sat in silence for a few moments, then she spoke, "This doesn't mean, Mulder, that in the future something may come along and change the nature of our relationship. I love you Mulder and I always will." She loved me. I knew I was going to cry again if I tried to speak, so I squeezed her again and dropped a kiss into her hair. "Then, Scully, I hope that day comes very soon." "Me too, Mulder, Me too." Scully fell asleep in my arms. I carried her to her bedroom and placed a kiss on her forehead before I left. end part 3 === AIM: xflznicole "From birth all we ever truly want is for people to love us. Whether we're black or white, businessmen or crack whores, satanic lesbians or self-mutalating homophobes, Barbra Streisand or Gary Coleman; it's what makes the world go 'round. So, if you're out there, David Duchovny, why won't you love me? Why?" ~Jerry Springer on Bree Sharp video. part 4 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX The Monday after the 'incident' was not as uncomfortable as I though it would be. Actually, things seemed to be less tense. We were more relaxed with each other. It began to make me think we should have slept together a long time ago. It seems, our relationship has definitely changed for the better. In the weeks that followed, we spent almost all of our free time together. We had dinner, watched movies, took walks, Mulder even took me dancing. Tonight, we are hanging out in my apartment, eating pizza and arguing over what to watch on television. "Scully! How can you not like baseball!" "It's easy Mulder. I just don't. I never have," I say as I grab the remote from Mulder's hand and flip to a movie on Lifetime. "Gee Scully, Lifetime! You are suck a girl!" "Glad you noticed." "I did, now lets watch the game," he says as he lunges for the remote. "I don't see what you see in baseball Mulder. It is so boring," I reply, maintaining my control of the television. Finally, we settled on some science fiction program. When it was over, Mulder headed home. I was awakened the next morning by the phone. "Scully, it's me." "What do you want Mulder, it's 7:30 on a Saturday morning!" "I just wanted you to come in and help me with some research." "Come in? Mulder, I can't believe you are at work." I considered, I really had nothing to do today and Mulder was fun to hang out with. "What are we researching?" XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I was thrilled when Scully agree to come in. The weeks since our brief encounter have been the best of my life. Scully and I have become so close. We spend almost all of our time together. I don't know how she puts up with me for hours on end but she seems to be enjoying her self as much as I am. I am the luckiest man on earth. For some reason, or conversation last night really bothered me. Scully doesn't like baseball. It bothers me because playing baseball is one of the only happy family memory I have from my childhood. A love for baseball was something that Sam and I always shared. Watching or playing always reminds me of the good times we shared and helps to block the bad ones. I guess I was hoping that baseball was something Scully and I could also share. I would have to make her love baseball. Luckily, Scully was in a good mood, even after my early morning wake up call. I could see through her complaints about being stuck inside on such a beautiful day. Scully secretly loves our work as much as I do. She would never admit it to me though. That's okay. I will never ask her too. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I couldn't believe that Mulder was using me to help him research old baseball scores! I swear it is a punishment for not letting him watch the stupid game last night. I really don't mind though, I love spending time with Mulder. I also love our work. I wouldn't trade it for anything, but I would never admit it to Mulder. After Mulder ran off after Aurthur Dales I went home, called Mom and did some shopping. When I returned, I found a very interesting message waiting for me. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX After I ran off and ditched Scully again, I felt really bad. I knew I needed to make it up to her. I hoped she wasn't mad but she wasn't answering her phone. Now I am hitting baseballs in this field, hoping she shows. XXXXXXXX What is he up to? I figure he is trying to make up for ditching me even though I wasn't mad. He seems to be enjoying himself. Baseball. Why has that become a reoccurring theme in our relationship. I hate to interrupt him but I am dying to know what he has planned for me. "So, ah, I get this message marked 'urgent' on my answering service from one Fox Mantle, telling me to come down to the park for a very special very early or very late birthday present. And Mulder, I don't see any nicely wrapped presents lying around. So what gives?" "You've never hit a baseball, have you Scully?" What is he up to? "No, I guess I have found more necessary things to do with my time than slap a piece of horsehide with a stick." "Get over here Scully." he says in his sexiest voice, making my knees go weak. God, I don't know if I can walk, but I make my way over to the bat he is offering. As I take hold, he wraps his arms around me. "This my birthday present Mulder? You shouldn't have." "This ain't cheep. I'm paying that kid ten bucks an hour to shag balls." Then he moves his mouth closer to my ear and continues, "Hey it's not a bad piece of ash, huh?" He can't mean..."The bat. I'm talking about the bat." Of course, he is talking about the bat. Unfortunately, that is not what I'm thinking about. "Now don't strangle it. Just shake hands with it. 'Hello, Mr. Bat, it's a pleasure to make you acquaintance.' ' Oh, No, No, Miss Scully, the pleasure is all mine.'" What is he doing? "Okay, now we wanna, we wanna go hips before hands. Okay and we want to stride forward and turn. That's all we're thinking about. So we go hips... before hands, all right?" He grabs my hips as he says this and anchors mine lower body, firmly against his. Nice ash indeed. A pathetic little, "Okay," is all I can manage. "One more time, hips before hands, all right?" "Yeah." "What is it?" "Hips before hands." "Right. We're gonna wait on the pitch. We're gonna keep our eyes on the ball. Then we're just gonna make contact. We're not gonna think, we're just gonna let it fly Scully. Okay....Ready?" I know what he's trying to do. He's trying to get me to love this silly little game of his. I hate to admit, this just might work. When did baseball become such a sexy game anyway? Mulder covers his hands with mine on the bat. "I'm in the middle." "All right, fire away poor boy!" Mulder yells to the boy he found to shag balls. We swing, hips before hands, and we do indeed make contact. As we swing Mulder again begins to speak into my ear. "Oh.. That's good...All right...What you may find is in your concentration on hitting that little ball the rest of the world fades away, all your everyday nagging concerns. The ticking of your biological clock, how you probably couldn't afford that nice new suede coat on a G-woman salary," I can't believe he noticed the new coat I bought today! "how you threw away a promising career in medicine to hunt aliens with your crackpot, albeit brilliant partner, getting to the heart of a global conspiracy, your obscenely overdue triple X bill. I'm sorry, Scully those last two problems are mine not yours." "Shut up, Mulder, I'm playing baseball." And because he is here with his arms around me, I love it. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I love to hear Scully giggle. It is the most glorious sound I have ever heard. And she has been doing it continually since we started playing ball. I really think she is enjoying herself. After hitting many balls, Scully finally pulls free from my arms laughing, "Mulder, I don't remember ever laughing this hard. Thank you." "Scully, you forget, this is your birthday present, no thanks are necessary." "So, Mulder...What was the goal of this little activity?" "Whatever do you mean Scully?" "I mean, what were you hoping to accomplish? Were you...hoping maybe to make it to first base?" she says with a smile. She thinks I'm coming onto her? I was just trying to show her the joys of baseball. "Scully, I assure you that my motives were honest. I just wanted to show you how fun baseball could be." I waved to the boy to continue shagging balls. "First base would be a bonus..." I whispered under my breath as I started to hit. Scully must have heard me because she moved from the fence post she was leaning against and came up behind me. She ducked under my arm and situated herself in the circle of my arms, she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled herself up and pressed a kiss on my lips. "Thank you Mulder." I I smiled down at her and continued to hit balls into the night with Scully once again in my arms. end part 4 === AIM: xflznicole "From birth all we ever truly want is for people to love us. Whether we're black or white, businessmen or crack whores, satanic lesbians or self-mutalating homophobes, Barbra Streisand or Gary Coleman; it's what makes the world go 'round. So, if you're out there, David Duchovny, why won't you love me? Why?" ~Jerry Springer on Bree Sharp video. part 5 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Staying out late did not settle well with me. I couldn't get myself out of bed on Sunday. I was totally exhausted. Hopefully I will be over this by Monday. Whenever I mention feeling tired or bad in the least, Mulder gives me this look. I know what he thinks it is and I know he blames himself for it. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I don't think Scully has been feeling well all week. I keep catching her almost dozing off. I am so worried. I can't help it. I am always worried about her cancer returning and since our little excursion to Antarctica I also worry that there still many be some side effects of the virus she was exposed to or the vaccine. I wish she would talk to me about it. There is not point in me bringing it up either. She would just tell me that she is fine and that there is no reason to worry, but I am worried. Very worried. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Mulder knows that I'm sick. He had been giving me 'the look' all week. He hasn't asked about it though. It must be killing him. I probably should go to the doctor. I don't want to though. My life had been so wonderful recently. I just don't want to spoil it with bad new. If I'm not feeling better soon, I'll see a doctor. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Scully must really be sick. She left early Friday and I didn't hear from her at all the rest of the day. We usually do something on Friday nights and she never called last night. I am really worried about her. That is why when I got up this morning I picked up some donuts and coffee and headed to her apartment. Part of me hopes that she really is feeling bad and that she didn't just ditch me last night. The other hopes that she is well and did. I just hope she isn't mad that I came over unannounced. Here goes. I have to knock twice before Scully finally answers the door. She looks awful. She had dark circles under her eyes and she is wrapped in a huge bathrobe. "What are you doing here Mulder?" I came to check up on you. "I brought breakfast. Coffee and donuts. I even got you a cream filled, you favorite." At the mention of the cream filled donut, Scully turns absolutely green and runs to her bathroom. I can hear the sound of her retching as I come in and close the door behind me. I want to check on her but when the radiation made her sick she never wanted me around to see her. Even though the nature of our relationship has changed, I don't want to upset her more. With the cancer, I think she thought being sick was a sign of weakness. She made it very clear that my presence was not welcome, I assume nothing has changed. After a few minutes, the vomiting stopped and I heard the water running. Then Scully emerged from the bathroom and joined me on the couch. I was silent as she picked up the coffee I brought and took a few sips. Then she turned to me, "I'm sick Mulder." I pulled her against my chest and kissed her hair. "I know Scully." We sat in silence so long that I figured she had fallen asleep. Then just as I was ready to move and take her to her bed she said, "I have an appointment with my doctor first thing Monday morning. I promise I'll call you as soon as I know anything. I know you worry." A few minutes later, she was asleep. I carried her to her room and quietly let myself out. Monday, I'd talk to her Monday. end part 5 === AIM: xflznicole "From birth all we ever truly want is for people to love us. Whether we're black or white, businessmen or crack whores, satanic lesbians or self-mutalating homophobes, Barbra Streisand or Gary Coleman; it's what makes the world go 'round. So, if you're out there, David Duchovny, why won't you love me? Why?" ~Jerry Springer on Bree Sharp video. part 6a XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX The results of my tests came as the greatest shock of my life. The implications of which were massive. Once again, my future had been decided for me. The doctor told me that I had some decisions to make. Little did he know, that I really had no choice. The men who assigned me to the X-Files, the men that have effectively controlled my life for the past seven years, had determined my path long ago. The men, that from their fiery graves, are still able to control my life, my choices, and my destiny. I know I need to call Mulder. I also know that he will take the news much harder than I will. Even though it is my life, somewhere along the line we've become so interconnected that my life is an extension of his and his of mine. My choices effect his destiny as much as my own. I need time to think. Time to be separate from him. I know that once I tell him what I have learned today there will be no way to severe his tie to me until death. end part 6a Part 6b XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Scully didn't call. I haven't spoken to her since that night at her apartment when she told me of her illness and plans to see the doctor. She turned her cell phone off and is not answering her apartment phone. I'm worried so once again I drive to her apartment, see her car parked outside, and proceed up the steps to her door. This time when I knock, there is no reply. I slip my key to her apartment from my pocket and into the lock. As I open the door, I hear faint music. I see her lying on the couch in the same robe and rush to her side. She's asleep. I wake her with a kiss. "You didn't call." "No." "Did you go to the doctor?" She sits up and faces me as I kneel on the floor in front of her, "Yes." "Well?" I ask knowing that her state suggests that she is anything but okay. "Mulder, I'm sorry I didn't call, I need some time to think. I had some decisions to make. Once I tell you what I found, you will have some to make also." "Is it...?" the cancer. I couldn't even bring myself to say it. "No. I'm not sick Mulder. I 'm pregnant." I was speechless. That was the last thing I was expecting her to say. "Are you sure?" I managed. "They did the test three times." "But...How? I mean I know how." Smooth one, Mulder. "I mean... Oh, God... am I?" Scully actually seemed amused at my loss of language skills. She, of course, was at an advantage, having known about this for far longer and having time to process it all. "You are the father Mulder." She said with a smile, then her expression grew more somber. "I know this is a lot to process. I didn't call you because I had...some decisions to make and I need some time to think." She looked like she was on the verge of tears. She can't mean about keeping this child, our child. "Scully?" She avoids my eyes and then moves to stand in front of her window and gazes at the stars. "I know you would like to have been included but I need this to be my choice. I am keeping this baby. This may be my only chance." She's keeping it? What was there to decide. I join her at the window standing directly behind her but not touching her. I wait for her to continue. "I am leaving the X-Files, Mulder. I can't do this anymore. I need to regain the control over my life that I lost so many years ago. I need to protect this baby and I don't think I can and continue our work." Her voice cracks on 'our' and she pauses a moment to regain her composure. "I have given this a lot of thought and know this is the right thing to do. I will request a transfer to Quantico until the baby is born after that I don't know. For the time being you will still be able to consult me on cases, but being a field agent is far to dangerous." "Scully, I.." I began but she interrupts. "I don't expect anything from you, Mulder. I can do this on my own. I don't want or expect an answer now either. I want you to think about this, about everything. No matter what you decide, I hope we can remain friends. I would die if I lost you as part of my life." I don't say anything. I can't. I lower my head so it is resting on the back on her neck and wrap my arms around her shoulder. This is all too new. I want to beg her to stay with me and never leave me, but I know that this time she won't change her mind. I respect her and her decisions. I love her. We stand like that for a long time. She finally pulls away, heads to her bedroom and closes the door without saying a word. I make my way to the door and somehow end up at my apartment for another sleepless night without Scully. end part 6 === AIM: xflznicole "From birth all we ever truly want is for people to love us. Whether we're black or white, businessmen or crack whores, satanic lesbians or self-mutalating homophobes, Barbra Streisand or Gary Coleman; it's what makes the world go 'round. So, if you're out there, David Duchovny, why won't you love me? Why?" ~Jerry Springer on Bree Sharp video. part 7 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I've done it again. I promised Mulder that I would never leave him and I've done exactly that, twice. I left him alone after we made love and now I am leaving the X-Files. I hope he can forgive me. Once again, I worry that by my actions, my choices, I have managed to push away the most important person in my life. Unfortunately, Mulder is not my only concern. A baby. I can't believe it. It shouldn' t have happened. I just pray that the baby is healthy. As I am lost in my thoughts, I hear a knock at the door. I hope it's Mulder. It turns out to be much better. A beautiful bouquet of yellow roses, my favorite, and a card. Scully, Be ready at 7:30. We have some celebrating to do. Mulder The idea of a celebration sounds wonderful. Unfortunately the last time I bought a nice dress was during the cancer days and I have gained some weight since then. Looks like I'll have to call Mom and see if she wants to do some shopping. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX When I woke up the next morning I realized that there was no decision to make. I love Scully and she is pregnant with my child. I want to be a part of both of their lives. I want this baby even if it means not working with Scully on the X-Files. Even if it means not working on the X-Files myself. Scully once said that in the future some change would come that would allow us to be together, that would allow us to take the chance on a romantic relationship. This is it. Our chance. She is leaving the X-Files so the regulations of fraternization between partners is no longer relative, and what better to bring two people together than a baby. end part 7 === AIM: xflznicole "From birth all we ever truly want is for people to love us. Whether we're black or white, businessmen or crack whores, satanic lesbians or self-mutalating homophobes, Barbra Streisand or Gary Coleman; it's what makes the world go 'round. So, if you're out there, David Duchovny, why won't you love me? Why?" ~Jerry Springer on Bree Sharp video. part 8 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX As I was finishing my makeup, I heard Mulder knock on the door. "It's open." Mulder came in smiling. He looked fabulous in a dark gray suit and tasteful necktie. "Scully...Wow... you look beautiful." I smiled, Mom and I picked out a deep purple, floor length gown with thin straps, a plunging neckline and back. The dress was fitted without being tight and the straight skirt flared slightly at the bottom. This dress was opposite of every outfit Mulder had ever seen me in. Nothing conservative about it. "Thank you Mulder, you look very ransom yourself. Fortunately in a couple of month you will still be able to fit into your outfit." Mulder laughed. "No matter what, you all always be the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." I blushed. I never considered myself beautiful. It was nice to know that someone did. "Shall we.." Mulder said and offered his arm. I accepted and we headed out to our celebration. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I don't know where Mulder found this place. Knowing Mulder, I was expecting him to try to impress me with an expensive dinner in a fancy restaurant. Instead, we ended up in an out of the way club. It was a nice place, decorated with dark wood and low lights. There was also a live band and a small dance floor. As we sat, the mellow sound of a saxophone filled the air. "This place is wonderful Mulder. I love it." "I thought you would," he said with a smile. After we ordered drinks, I decided to broach the subject of why we are here. "So, Mulder, what exactly are we celebrating? You happy your not going to have me second guessing you al the time?" I say as I slide my finger around the rim of my water glass. Mulder chuckles, "That too, actually, we have a lot to celebrate." I nod in agreement. "But first," he continues, "let's dance." As we make our way to the floor, Mulder motions to the band leader and they begin a new set. "Mulder?" I question. He pulls me into his arms "I've been doing a lot of thinking, " he begins, "and there is so much I wanted to tell you, but I thought that this song could do a much better job than I ever could. My words never seem adequate to express the depth of my feelings for you." At that moment the singer starts. I rest my head on his chest and listen carefully to the words, Mulder choose for me. Crazy how it feel tonight Crazy how you make it all alright love You crush me with the things you do I do for you anything too Sitting, smoking, feeling high In this moment, it feels so right Lovely lady I am at your feet God I want you so badly I wonder this Could tomorrow be So wondrous as you there sleeping Let's go drive 'til morning comes Watch the sunrise To fill our souls up Drink some wine 'til we get drunk It's crazy I'm thinking Just knowing that the world is round Here I'm dancing on the ground Am I right side up or upside down Is this real or am I dreaming Lovely Lady Let me drink you please I won't spill a drop, I promise you Lying under this spell you cast on me Each moment The more I love you Crush me Come on It's crazy I'm thinking Just knowing that the world is round Here I'm dancing on the ground Am I right side up or upside down Is it real or am I dreaming Lovely lady, I will treat you sweetly Adore you I mean You crush me It's times like these When my faith I feel And I know How I love you Come on Lady It's crazy I'm thinking Just as long as you're around And here I'll be dancing on the ground Am I right side up or upside down To each other we'll be facing By love we'll beat back the pain we've found You know I mean to tell you all the things I've been thinking deep inside My friend With each moment more I love you Crush me Come on Lady So much you have given love That I would give you back Again and again Meaning I'll hold you And please Let me always As the song ends, Mulder begins to speak, "Scully, I love you. I love you more with each passing moment. You give me something I have never had before, faith and love. If you will let me, I want to hold you forever. This is it. You leaving the X-Files, the baby. This is the thing you were talking about. The thing that will change out relationship. I want to be part of your life. I want to be part of the baby's, if you'll have me." I am speechless. Of course I want him with me. I all I can do is nod my affirmation. His smile is the biggest I have ever seen. "I love you Mulder." We stay on the dance floor for a while longer. Then he leads me back to our table. We did have a lot to celebrate. end part 8 === AIM: xflznicole "From birth all we ever truly want is for people to love us. Whether we're black or white, businessmen or crack whores, satanic lesbians or self-mutalating homophobes, Barbra Streisand or Gary Coleman; it's what makes the world go 'round. So, if you're out there, David Duchovny, why won't you love me? Why?" ~Jerry Springer on Bree Sharp video. part 9 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX After dinner, Scully and I took a walk around the reflecting pool holding hands. I couldn't stop smiling like an idiot. This was finally it. Scully and I were going to be together as a couple. I was so happy. I love her so much. "Mulder, we still need to talk about this." I didn't want to talk, I just wanted to be here with Scully. "Are you sure this is what you want? A baby is a big responsibility. I don't want you to feel like you have to do this. I can raise this child on my own." "I want to be with you , Scully. I love you Scully. Isn't that enough of a reason?" She said nothing so I knew the answer and continued as we walked. "The first thing I thought when you told me was that this was all my fault..." "Mulder," she interrupted, "as far as we knew I couldn't get pregnant. It wasn't your fault..." "I know and I don't want a relationship with you because you are pregnant. You are the most important person in my life. You are more important that the X-Files and even Sam. I love you and want to be with you." When I finally looked at her, her eyes were full of tears. "I love you, Mulder," she said. I pulled her into my arms and we kissed as we stood at the edge of the reflecting pool. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX As I drove back to Scully's apartment, we were silent. We both had a lot to think about. The only evidence of the massive change in our relationship our linked hands, resting on the seat between us. When I pulled up to Scully's apartment she finally spoke in a quite, husky voice, "You're coming up right? I think we still have some celebrating to do." Her voice made me shiver. Nothing could keep me out of her apartment. I once again took her hand and we entered her apartment together. Once inside Scully walked to the kitchen. "Want some coffee?" she offered over her shoulder. I think she's nervous. I don't answer. Instead I follow her to the kitchen. She is standing on her toes retrieving two mugs from her cabinets. I come up behind her and pin her to the counter with a hand on either side her. Then I place a gentle kiss on her neck. Scully gasps and spins in my arms, the mug forgotten. "Mulder?" "It's not coffee I want," I say as I capture her lips with my own. She respond immediately and throws her arms around my neck. I move my hands from the counter and pull her closer to me. Eventually we make it to her bedroom and begin the rest of our lives. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX The sun streaming in the window wakes me. I turn my head, searching for Mulder but he is not beside me. Then I feel him. He is below the cover with his head resting on my stomach. "Mulder, what are you doing?" "Shhh?Scully, I think I hear something." I laugh and pull the blanket from him. "You hear my stomach, I'm hungry." "Oh," he says, sounding disappointed. "Come here." Mulder move up and kissed me gently on the lips. "I'll make you breakfast." "Tempting, but I'm not ready to let you go yet." We adjust so Mulder is on his back and I am lying against his side with my head on his chest. "This is nice." "Yes it is, " he responds, playing with a strand of my hair. "I love you Scully." "I love you, too." "So, Scully, what are we gonna name the baby?" I laugh again, against Mulder's chest and give him a kiss. "We don't have to decide that quite yet. We do need to tell my mother though?and Skinner needs to know about my transfer at least." "You haven't told your mother?" "No, I wanted you to be there. I'll call her, maybe we can go for dinner tonight." "We should get married Scully." "No." "No?" "I don't want you to marry me because I'm pregnant." "Then marry me because I love you." I move so I am lying on top of Mulder and kiss him deeply. When I finally pull away I say, "The answer is still no for the time being. That would be too much, too soon. " He smiles. "Do I have to be there when you tell your mother?" I smack him gently. "I think I'm ready for that breakfast." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX The trip to Maggie Scully's went better than I had expected. I never had to tell a parent that I had knocked up their daughter so I didn't know what to expect. I always thought that Mrs. Scully thought highly of me but she might not after this. When Scully told her, she was shocked then thrilled to be expecting another grandchild. After dinner we returned to Scully's apartment for another, more private, celebration. end part 9 === AIM: xflznicole "From birth all we ever truly want is for people to love us. Whether we're black or white, businessmen or crack whores, satanic lesbians or self-mutalating homophobes, Barbra Streisand or Gary Coleman; it's what makes the world go 'round. So, if you're out there, David Duchovny, why won't you love me? Why?" ~Jerry Springer on Bree Sharp video. part 10 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Monday morning did not go well. I was sick and therefore couldn't eat. Not eating anything in the morning always makes me crabby, combined with the fact I was nauseous made me extra crabby. Then Mulder started.. "When are you going to tell Skinner?" Not 'hello' or 'good morning' or 'how are you felling?' "What?" "About the transfer? When are you going to tell him?" he said looking up from a file he was scanning. "Trying to get rid of me?" I know his comment was in regard to my wishes and not a jab as to my value on the X-Files, but I was crabby and snapped at him. "You know I would like nothing better than to have you here with me, but I know what you've decided and I am abiding by your wishes." Something in the tone of his voice told me he didn't want to be "abiding by my wishes." "You think my decision is a mistake?" Finally he put down the file, "I don't want you to leave but I also understand why you are. I told you that." I sigh, "I know. I'm just not feeling well this morning." I get 'the look' and "Scully..." I give him my own look that means "knock it off." He backs down, picks up his file then says, "so when are you going to tell him?" "Today. I have a meeting with him at 9pm." "Works out well. We have a meeting with him at 8:30." A meeting? "About what?" "A new case," he answers as he taps the folder he is holding on his desk. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Skinner looks up in recognition as we enter his office. "Agents," he says with a nod and continues to review the papers in front of him. A moment after we take our seats he looks up again, this time at Scully and said, "Agent Scully, I see you are scheduled to meet with me at 9, would you rather start with that or should we go over the case?" "I wanted a private conference, sir, so we can discuss the case first." He nods and turns to me, "This case was given to me this morning and I believe, because of the contents, you two would be the...best qualified to investigate," he says as he hands me the file. "This doesn't seem to be an X-File? It seems to be simple kidnappings." "Read further," Skinner prompts. As I do, my eyes go wide and I try to keep my mouth from falling open and I look at Skinner. I can see Scully examining me carefully from the corner of my eye. Skinner speaks before I am able regain my ability, "The children who were taken all belonged to parents who claimed to have been abducted by aliens. In fact, they all appear to be members of the MUFON group you and Agent Scully have been in contact with." I turn and look at Scully, she is absolutely pale. Her fingers are clenched on the arms of the chair and she is staring ahead, trying to keep her emotions under control. She spares me a glance her eyes filled with fear. Unfortunately, Skinner notices her well-concealed distress, "Are you feeling okay, Agent Scully?" Scully blinks, takes a breath then, "Yes, sir, I...I just. I need to go. Excuse me." Then she leaves. When the door shuts behind her I return my attention to Skinner and try to find a reason to get out of his office as quickly as possible. I need to check on Scully. Before I speak Skinner says, "Go. Agent Mulder." And I do XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I couldn't believe it. Just when I though I was going to have a choice over the direction of my life they intervene. Damit! I was going to quit the X-Files in order to protect my baby, know I must stay and investigate this case in order to protect my baby. I need to find these children. The consequences of letting these people continue with these abductions were hitting too close to home. I was pacing the office when Mulder found me. "Are you okay?" I almost told him I was fine then decided against it. I stopped pacing turned to him, willing myself not to break down. "No," I said as my voice cracked and a tear slid down my face. Before I know it, Mulder's arms were wrapped around me and he was slowly rocking back and forth, trying to comfort me. "I will not let them take our baby," I whispered into Mulder's chest. "I will do everything in my power to protect it," Mulder assured. Then, "I promise Scully, everything will be okay. I promise," and I felt a tear fall into my hair. The ringing phone broke us apart. I answered it and Mulder moved to the filing cabinets, trying to collect himself. It was Agent Skinner wondering if I was okay and if I stilled needed to see him. I told him that I was fine and that I no longer required a meeting with him. As soon as I hung up Mulder was by my side again, "Why aren't you meeting with Skinner? You are still transferring, aren't you?" "No, I need to go with you on this case. I need to solve it. It is the best way I can think to save our child." "Scully, no, the best thing you can do is keep yourself out on danger. I can handle this. This case is too personal. I don't want it to upset you anymore than it already has." "Mulder, I'm going with you," I insisted. "Scully, I don't think that that is a good idea." "You don't want me to quit and you don't want me not to quite. Which is it Mulder?" I say, my voice raising. "I don't want you to quit but I think that field work is too dangerous for someone in you condition, and this case is way to personal." "Are you questioning my ability to do my job in my 'condition'?" "No." Mulder said, seemingly flustered. "Good, I'm going with you. When do we leave?" Mulder's eyes locked with mine. He took a deep breath. "I leave in two hours, you have a meeting with Skinner." "Mulder, I....am....going....with....you." "You.... are.... not." "You....can't....stop....me," I countered. Mulder broke eye contact, sighed, then spoke, "Then as the head of the X-Files division, I order you to stay." I was speechless, he was pulling rank! I was furious, I was nauseated. I was going to cry, but I couldn't give him that satisfaction. Instead, I grabbed my briefcase and stormed out of the office, and after a trip to the ladies room, I made it home to my apartment and collapsed onto my bed in tears. I was so scared that the baby I never thought I would have was now in danger and the one person who could offer me comfort was the last person I wanted to see. Why did my life have to be so complicated? XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I am such an asshole. How could I have upset her like that. The worst part is that I knew it would kill her when I pulled rank and I did it anyway. My life was finally starting to go right. I was finally happy, and I had to screw it up. Now I have a pregnant partner who is furious at me and am on my way to find a man who many be after our baby. Why did my life have to be so complicated? end part 10 === AIM: xflznicole "From birth all we ever truly want is for people to love us. Whether we're black or white, businessmen or crack whores, satanic lesbians or self-mutalating homophobes, Barbra Streisand or Gary Coleman; it's what makes the world go 'round. So, if you're out there, David Duchovny, why won't you love me? Why?" ~Jerry Springer on Bree Sharp video. part 11 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Mulder has been gone for three days. He has sent progress reports on the case via my email.. I guess it is the least he can do considering the way he acted. He has made no mention of our argument, neither have I. I assume the reports are meant as some sort of comfort. The are in the sense that I have been reading them and using what Mulder has found to do some investigating of my own. My work has led me to a warehouse right here in DC. I know I should contact Mulder but first I want to have a look around. If I told him I know he would try to stop me. I don't really feel like arguing with him now. From the outside the ware house appeared deserted, but I still entered with my weapon drawn. As I walked through silent, deserted rooms I began to think that my source had been incorrect. Then I heard it, muffled crying. I followed the sound into a small closet in the back of the warehouse. In a bundle of blankets on the floor a found a baby no older than six months. As I picked up the child I heard muffled voices coming from outside the room. "What are the results?" "So far they are all normal. The tests done on the parents seem to have had no effect on the children." "None at all?" "No, sir." Experiment? They want to see if experiments on adults effect the babies? My God! "What should we do with our latest subject?" "Dispose of him." Then the voices ceased and I heard footsteps coming in the direction of the closet. I didn't care what happened, I was not going to let these men dispose of this baby. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I was not making much progress and was about to return to DC to sort out my life when my phone rang. "Mulder." "Agent Mulder, this is Skinner. Agent Scully has been injured during and investigation and has taken to Georgetown Memorial hospital. Can you come to DC?" "Is she okay?" "She had been taken into surgery, there is no news." "I'll be there as soon as I can." I was able to make the next flight to DC and was in Scully's room before she returned from surgery. I found Skinner waiting. "Any news?" "No." "What happened?" "Apparently Agent Scully entered a warehouse as part of your current investigation. She was shot while attempting to protect a young child she found there. Fortunately she was also able to incapacitate the suspect. He will be taken into custody as soon as he is released. The child was uninjured and was reunited with his parents." Just then Scully was wheeled into the room. She was unconscious. She was not on a respirator but she was being given oxygen and her breathing was labored. "A doctor will be by to talk to you shortly," the nurse reported. As we waited, I contacted Maggie Scully who assured me she would be there shortly. As I hung up, the doctor entered. "Mr. Mulder?" the doctor asked glancing from me to Skinner. "Yes." "Miss Scully was asking for you earlier. I am sure she will be glad to see you when she wakes up." "How is she?" "She suffered a severe gunshot wound to the right side of her chest. It did some damage to her lung that we were able to repair. She lost a lot of blood and for the moment she is in a coma. We do expect her to make a full recovery." I dreaded asking the next question, especially with Skinner in the room but I had to know, "How's the baby?" "Miss Scully's child seems to have suffered no ill effects from her injuries. Luckily she was able to tell us before she lost consciousness." "Thank you, Doctor." "I will be in to check on both of them again soon." I sat down in the chair next to Scully's bed, facing away from Skinner, not wanting to answer any of his questions. He gave me a few moments before he began. "Agent Mul...." Fortunately Mrs. Scully entered before he could finish. "Fox?" "Maggie," I said as I stood and gave her a hug. Mrs. Scully immediately took one of Dana's hands in hers and brushed a strand of hair off her forehead. The she turned to me, "What happened?" I relayed both Skinner's story and the doctors prognosis. When I finished she looked to Skinner who was still stationed by the doorway watching the scene and asked, "And the baby?" "Fine as far as they know. Scully told the doctors about it before she lost consciousness." When I saw the relief I Mrs. Scully's face I smiled, realizing how lucky we were. Then Skinner spoke, "Agent Mulder, how come I was not informed of Agent Scully's....condition?" Fortunately Mrs. Scully saved me, "If Dana had felt it necessary to tell you, I am sure she would have, Mr. Skinner." "Point taken. I suppose then the question remains, why was she allowed to enter a potentially dangerous situation, without backup, in her condition?" It was my turn to defend my partner, "Just because Agent Scully is pregnant, does not mean she is incapable of performing her duties." Just then Dana coughed and we all returned our attention to her bedside. Her eyes where opened she motioned for me to move closer so I could hear her speak. When I did I couldn't help but laugh. "Agent Mulder?" Skinner inquired. "She said 'damn strait' sir." That even made the AD smile. He walked to Scully's bedside and squeezed her hand, "I wish you a swift recovery, Dana. I will give you three some time." With that he left the room. When he did, I sat on the side of her bed and grabbed her hand, "How are you feeling?" She nodded and then said, "How's the baby?" "Fine. Everything is fine." She nodded again and then lost consciousness. end part 11 === AIM: xflznicole "From birth all we ever truly want is for people to love us. Whether we're black or white, businessmen or crack whores, satanic lesbians or self-mutalating homophobes, Barbra Streisand or Gary Coleman; it's what makes the world go 'round. So, if you're out there, David Duchovny, why won't you love me? Why?" ~Jerry Springer on Bree Sharp video. part 12 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I hate to admit that Mulder was right. I had no business being on that case. First of all it was too easy to become personally involved, and second, mine was no longer the only life effected by my choices. After another ultra sound confirmed that the baby was fine, I was released from the hospital. I let Mulder drive me home but then sent him on his way. I needed to rest and recover. Now, I am back at work, sitting in Skinner's office as he reads my transfer request. "I assume, Agent Scully, this has something to do with..." he never finishes but, of course I know he is referring to the baby. "Yes, sir." "In that case, your transfer is approved and I will also approve some time off in..." "Seven months." He smiles and nods as he sign the appropriate papers. "Your transfer is effective immediately. You can report to Quantico tomorrow. You will be missed. You are a damn fine agent. To top it off, you can put up with Mulder." I smile. "By the way, Dana, congratulations." "Thank you sir." As I am almost to the door I hear, "Congratulate Agent Mulder also." I pause and then continue out the door. Only slightly shocked that Skinner knows that Mulder is the father. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX It's been two weeks since I've seen Scully, three weeks since she was released from the hospital, and five weeks since I found out she was pregnant. I can easily say that five weeks ago I was happier than I have ever been in my entire life. I can also say that the weeks since have been the some of the worst. I miss Scully. After her transfer was approved she returned the my office, relayed Skinner's congratulatory message, then said the words that broke my heart. "Mulder," she said, "This, us, isn't going to work. Everything has happened to fast. My life is out of control. I need some time and I need you to understand. I never meant to hurt you." Then she turned to leave. "Too late, " was all I could manage. Her pace out the door never faltered. The only indication she gave that she had heard me was a slight drop of her head. A motion only I would notice. Now I sit in my apartment, in the dark, wondering when she will come back to me. I know that she will come back. It was all about control and the only thing she felt she could control in her life was her relationship with me. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx I haven't seen Mulder in two weeks and I miss him. I need him. So late one sleepless night while I was sitting on my couch with my new best friends Ben and Jerry, I made the decision to get him back. It is two in the morning when I arrive at Mulder's door. I knock twice before I decide to use my key. I find Mulder asleep on the couch and soft music playing in the background. The song ends just as I enter the apartment and then begins again. He has it set to repeat this song. I decide to listen before I make him aware of my presence. Here I am Broken wings Quite thoughts Unspoken dreams Here I am Alone again And I need her now To hold my hand She's all, she's all I ever had She's the air I breathe She's all, she's all I ever had It's the way she makes me feel It's the only thing that's real It's the way she understands She's my lover, she's my friend And when I look into her eyes It's the way I feel inside Like the man I want to be She's all I'll ever need So much time So much pain There's one thing That still remains That way she cared The love we shared And through it all She's always been there She's all, she's all I ever had In a world so cold, so empty She's all, she's all I ever had It's the way she makes me feel It's the only thing that's real It's the way she understands She's my lover, she's my friend And when I look into her eyes It's the way I feel inside Like the man I want to be She's all I'll ever need The word bring tears to my eyes. Oh, Mulder, I'm so sorry I hurt you. I'm so sorry, I never know how badly I hurt you. "I never knew.." I whisper. "Never knew what, Scully?" I hear from across the dark room. I hit stop on the CD player and glance at the title. "Never knew you were a fan of Latin men, Mulder," I say with a raised eyebrow. I can see his smile even in the dim lights, "I guess I just keep unfolding like a flower." This time I smile, "One more thing we have in common, Mulder, we both like Ricky Martin, but I must say I like track 1 better." "Come here Scully," he says, and I do. I join him on the couch and he pulls me into his arms. "I love you, Mulder, and I am so, so sorry," I whisper, trying to hold back tears. "I know, I know," he says as he gently rocks me. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I love Scully so much. I just want to sit here, holding her in my arms forever but she seems to have other plans. She moves so that she is kneeling next to me on the couch, grazing her soft lips all over my face, telling me with every kiss how sorry she is. I am passive, allowing her exploration. She finally places a kiss on my upper lip, then my lower one, then pulls my lower lip into her mouth. I am no longer passive and we begin our first kiss in almost a month. Our kiss quickly deepens and I pull her into my arms and carry her to my bed. It's funny how this all began a few months ago in this very spot and this is where we are beginning again. As I lay Scully down, she grabs the hem of my T-shirt and begins to pull it over my head. I help her toss the shirt across the room and gently push her back on the bed as I capture her lips with my own. My hands work my way under her oversized sweat shirt and I am thrilled to find she is not wearing a bra. After a few more minutes of kissing and stroking she pushes me so I am on my back and she is straddling my waist. She grabs the hem of her shirt and throws it into a corner before running a line of kisses along my jaw line, down my neck and all over my chest. I have never had a woman worship me in this way. I feel so loved and wanted that tears threaten to fall. When she finishes with my chest, she pulls my sweat pants and boxer down my legs and they soon join her shirt in the corner. She then continues soft kisses down the portion of my body that has just been revealed to her. When I can't take anymore I pull her up for a kiss and roll us so I am lying on top of her. I look into her eyes and say, "I love you so much Scully. Promise me you will never leave me again, because I don't know if I can take it again." She smiles and runs the back of her hand down my face and says, "I promise Mulder, I will never let anything come between us again." I smile and seal the promise with a passionate kiss, a kiss full of promises of things to come that night and for the rest of our lives. end part 12 === AIM: xflznicole "From birth all we ever truly want is for people to love us. Whether we're black or white, businessmen or crack whores, satanic lesbians or self-mutalating homophobes, Barbra Streisand or Gary Coleman; it's what makes the world go 'round. So, if you're out there, David Duchovny, why won't you love me? Why?" ~Jerry Springer on Bree Sharp video. Part 13 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX When I wake up I am alone in Mulder's bed. I stretch and roll into the warn spot he recently vacated. It feels wonderful on my sore body. I blame the stiffness partially on hormones and partially on Mulder. He gave me quite a workout last night, I recall as a smile spreads across my face. "What are you smiling at?" Mulder asks from the doorway. "How long have you been standing there?" "Long enough, " he says as moves to sit next to me on the bed. He brushes a strand of hair from my face and continues, "You are so beautiful when you smile." I smile again and sit up to meet him for a good morning kiss when a wave a nausea hits. Luckily I make it to the bathroom in time. After a few minutes of worshipping the porcelain god I sit back against the wall, on the the bathroom floor. That's when I notice Mulder, pacing at the bathroom door. "Mulder?" I say. He stops his pacing and sticks his head in, "I was just...I mean I was...I was wondering if I could get you anything...or something... or I could go," he says pointing to the door. I actually laugh at his insecurity. "Mulder, if you don't mind the smell, you could just sit here with me. It should pass soon." Before I could finish, Mulder was on the floor beside me with a huge smile on his face. If he liked morning sickness that much he could have it next time. Next time? That was the last thing I needed to be thinking about now. I didn't know if I would survive this time! Mulder was helping though, sitting here with me on his bathroom floor with his arm around my shoulders, pulling me to rest my head on his chest. He was definitely making this much more bearable. A few minutes later, when I rose to leave, another wave a nausea hit. Mulder, bless his heart, stayed with me rubbing my back through the whole thing. During my cancer I would never let him see me get sick, partially because I felt like it made me week. Mostly I wouldn't let him hover over me because he felt the cancer was his fault. The last thing he needed was to see me sick from the treatment. I suppose me being sick now is actually more his fault than the cancer. Maybe that's why I don't care if he sees me. Maybe he deserves to feel a little guilty. After a few minutes I flush and stand. Mulder silently grabs a new toothbrush from his medicine cabinet. Then he places a kiss in my hair as I brush my teeth and says, "When you get ready I'm taking you out for breakfast, my treat." I give him a warning glance and he responds, "You need to have more than just coffee for breakfast." I snort in disagreement but won't argue, breakfast with Mulder actually sounds wonderful. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Wow, Scully has been moody recently. I know her body is going through a lot but she is far worse than she ever was when she had PMS, and that was pretty bad. I'll admit that I did keep track of her cycle and tried to stay away from her for a few days each month. Unfortunately her moodiness is partially my fault so I stick around take it. I hate to admit this but I'm glad we have been working apart for the last few weeks. I can barely handle the time we spend together after work. Between mood swings she is in the bathroom. If I hover too much while she is in there, it puts her in a worse mood. Tonight we are at her apartment watching TV. Actually we are watching some girlie movie she selected. The only reason I can stand it is because she is letting me hold her while we watch. Holding Scully in my arms for two hours straight is high on my list of favorite activities. Two hours straight is a bit of an exaggeration because she has to pee in what seems like ten minutes intervals. Still, there is no place I would rather be. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I was really feeling sorry for Mulder for awhile. I'll admit, I was not pleasant to be around. He stayed with me anyway. That's love. I wasn't pretty to be around either. I was constantly relieving my self of some bodily fluid or another. It was worse in the morning and evening, the two times I spent with Mulder. For a couple of weeks Mulder was at my apartment whenever he wasn't at work. I enjoyed the company even if I didn't always show it. Unfortunately about a week ago something about the way Mulder smelled sent me running for the bathroom whenever he was within three feet of me. He slept on the couch for a few days then returned to his apartment. I really miss having him around. I'm hoping my aversion to his smell doesn't last too long. At least I don't have to pee all the time anymore. As I am sitting around thinking of Mulder, my cell rings, "Scully." "Hey, It's me. What are you doing?" "I was actually just thinking about you." "Good thoughts?" "Kind of. I was hoping that you didn't still stink 'cause I really, really miss you." I hear Mulder draw in a sharp breath at the implication of my words. "I miss you too," he whispers with a huskiness that sends shivers down my spine. I've felt too bad to do anything recently and he hasn't pushed, but obviously it is having an effect on him. After a moment he continues, "Do you have plans for this evening Ms. Scully?" I smile, "No, Mr. Mulder, what do you have in mind?" I say with the best come-hither voice I can manage. He laughs, "I always have that in mind, Scully. But the purpose of my call was to see if you wanted to have dinner with me tonight." "You paying?" "Of course. I'll even pick you up, what time can you be ready?" I can't hide the shock in my voice, "We're going out?" "Yes, this dinner is a celebration!" I wrack my brain trying to make sure I haven't forgotten and anniversary or birthday and come up blank, "A celebration of what?" "Well, there is the really pretty teacher at Quantico, I believe she teaches pathology, who has reached a milestone today. You see, she is pregnant and today marks the beginning of her second trimester, or as close as I can figure." I know I have been really emotionally so I try to keep my voice as level as possible, even though tears are streaming down my face, as I respond, "I'll be ready in an hour." As I hang up I hear him say that he loves me. I know it's true. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I am so happy. Scully is feeling much, much better. This is good for me in two ways. First of all, I feel less guilty about getting her pregnant if she isn't feeling bad, and second, not only is she feeling better but she is amorous too. Besides that, her breasts are swollen so they are bigger and that would make any man happy. I am also happy because today is another milestone for little Mulder/Scully and his or her parents. Scully is going for an ultrasound and she is letting me come along. The best part is, they may be able to determine the sex of the baby! Absolutely nothing, no global conspiracy, no africanized honey bee, no flukemen, could bring me down from my euphoria. I almost cry when I see my baby for the first time on the monitor. This baby is the embodiment of Scully and my love of each other. It's such a miracle that it even exists. I am grinning like an idiot. Scully notices an laughs. "Something wrong Mulder?" I squeeze her hand and say, "No, everything's perfect," never taking my eyes from the monitor. My thought are interrupted by Scully's doctor, "Dr. Scully, Mr. Mulder? Do you want to know the sex of your baby?" We never really talked about this, that way we wouldn't be disappointed if they couldn't tell. I glance at Scully and she nods an affirmative. I do also, still not trusting my voice. I want a girl, a little girl as beautiful as Scully. Of course, a boy would also still be a miracle. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I can't look at Mulder. He looked on the verge of tears since the baby appeared on the monitor. I know that if he actually cries I will not be far behind. I am so glad that he also wants to know the sex. I can't wait 5 more months to find out. I always wanted a daughter. I had Emily, even though it was only for a short time, so a son would be wonderful too. I know it's clique but I really don't care as long as it's healthy. The doctor waits a few moments after we nod out affirmation before announcing, "Congratulations, it's a girl!" I smile and actually see Mulder brush a tear from his face before bending down to kiss my forehead. I am so happy. As we walk out of the doctor's office, Mulder is still staring out the ultrasound picture. I don't think he believes that this is all real. I have never known Mulder not to believe in anything. I grab his arm and squeeze, "It's real Mulder." He stares at me in disbelief for a moment and then smiles, "I know, but I never in my life believed I could be this happy." I drop my hand from his arm to his hand and interlock our fingers. I step so I am in front of him and can look him in the eyes. "Me either," I reply with a smile. Then, "lets grab a bite to eat before we have to go back to work. I know this place..." I trail off as I notice Mulder's face turn white. "Mulder what is it?" He points to my face I raise my hand to my nose. When I pull it away I see blood, covering my fingers. Oh God please, I pray, not now, not again. end part 13 === AIM: xflznicole "From birth all we ever truly want is for people to love us. Whether we're black or white, businessmen or crack whores, satanic lesbians or self-mutalating homophobes, Barbra Streisand or Gary Coleman; it's what makes the world go 'round. So, if you're out there, David Duchovny, why won't you love me? Why?" ~Jerry Springer on Bree Sharp video. Part 14 "Scully!" I gasp as I quickly fish my hankercheif out of pocket. "I'm fine, I'm fine," she insists as she holds the cloth to her face. After a few minutes she turns white. She gasps, "Mulder," as her eyes roll back in her head and her knees give way. I am able to catch her and lower her to the ground. The next sequence events are all a blur. I end up in a chair next to Scully's hospital bed, praying to whatever diety is listening, for her to be okay and for her to wake up. "Fox?" Maggie Scully's voice, draws me from my prayers. "Maggie," I say as she walks to Scully's bedside. "Any news?" "She's still uncouncious. I called her oncologist after I got off the phone with you. He ran some tests but the results haven't come back yet." Maggie moves and kneels in front of the chair I am sitting in, "She'll be fine, Fox, I know it." I manage a small smile, "I hope so. I love her so much." Maggie just smiles and give me fierce hug, "I know, Fox. So does she." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX The first thing I hear I laughing and familiar voices. "Mulder," I say. I open my eyes when I feel his hand on face. "Welcome back," he says with a sad smile. "How are you feeling," I hear and turn in the direction of the voice. I see my mother sitting next to my bed. "Tired. What happened." My mother and Mulder exchange glances. Then he begins, "You had a nossebleed then you fainted. I called and ambulance an brought you here." I nod then ask, "Have the doctors said what's wrong?" "No," my mother says, "they haven't come by with the test results yet." "Tests?" "Fox called you oncologist when you were admited and he wanted to run some blood tests." "No," I protest. "It's not.....no....not now...It's not...I'm fi..." I can't finish. I turn my head away from my mother and Mulder and stare out the window as a single tear rolls down my cheek. Maybe I'm not fine. Maybe I'm not meant to be happy and healthy. Thankfully neither Mulder nor my mother make any move to confort me. Thier pity is the last thing I think I can stand at this moment. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Scully's test results came back normal. There was no sign of cancer. I want to beleive that she truly is still in remission but it's hard. She was released as soon as the results came back. Scully is still somber. I don't thinks she believes the results either, even though she wants too. I am once again lost in my thoughts when I hear, "Mulder?" She sounds a bit panicy I look over and ask, "You okay, Scully?" She begins to speak, then closes her mouth, then tries again, "I'm...I'm not sure. I felt..." Her hand moves from the armrest to her abdomen and I begin to panic. Then she smiles, "Mulder, I think I just felt the baby move." "Really?" I ask, a smile spreading across my face. "Yeah," she says as she grabs one hand from the wheel and places on the spot hers had must occupied. "There, do you feel that?" "I can't feel anything," I say with a frown. She looks a little disappointed and releases my hand. Then the smile returns to her face. "I'm going to be fine, Mulder." The smile returns to my face with the insistance of her statement. Maybe she will be fine. end part 14 === AIM: xflznicole "From birth all we ever truly want is for people to love us. Whether we're black or white, businessmen or crack whores, satanic lesbians or self-mutalating homophobes, Barbra Streisand or Gary Coleman; it's what makes the world go 'round. So, if you're out there, David Duchovny, why won't you love me? Why?" ~Jerry Springer on Bree Sharp video. Part 15 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX He has to be kidding! "You've got to be kidding," I practically yell as I pace my apartment. Mulder seems to be enjoying my distress. At least he is attempting to hide his smile. "I can't beleive it happened so soon!" "Scully, you knew this was a possibility. I would be assigned a new partner sooner or later." "I know, I know, "I say as I plop down on the couch next to him, exhauted from pacing. "I guess I just always felt that no one could take my place on the X-Files." "No one can," he assured me as he wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me in so he can place a kiss in my hair. "What's his name?" I ask. "Whose?" he says. At least I can still be a distraction. "Your new partner." I remind him. "Oh," he says. "Well, her name is.." "Her?" I say as I pull out of his embrace. I have never been the jealous type but I can't stand the thought of another woman spending all day in that small office with Mulder. He doesn't finish so I prompt, "Do I know her Mulder?" He nods. Then it dawns on me. Who has trying to her her hot little hand on Mulder, I mean, the X-Files since the death of her own partner. God, NO! "Mulder, it's Diana isn't it?" He nods again and I spring from the couch for another round of venting and pacing. "How could they do this to me! Out of all the people....Why her?" I don't stop until I feels Mulders arms around me from behind. "Scully, it will be fine. Diana knows a lot about the X-Files. I can't think of anyone I would rather have assigned to work with me." I go tense and fell him laugh into my hair, "besides you of course." "I just don't trust her, Mulder!" "Scully, you know that she is qualified for this kind of investigation. She was even assigned to the X-Files for that time so she knows the work.... Wait a minute, this isn't about the X-Files, this is about me!" "What are you talking about, Mulder?" He spins me so I am looking into his eyes. "You don't trust Diana with me." I try to avoid his gaze. Damn him. How could I be jealous of her? How could I not be. What were his choices. She believed in all the same nonsense he did, she knew the work, and to top it all off they had some kind of past relationship, the details of which I shutter to think of. I, on the other hand, fought with him about every case, had no background in paranormal. To top it all off she is his type, tall, thin and brunette. I am too short, wrong hair color, and am standing here barefoot and pregnant. "Scully, listen to me, I'm only going to say this once: I love you, not her. I would never leave you. Diana is simply a co-worker. She will not come between us. I would rather give up the X-Files than let anything ever come between us." I search his eyes and find the truth. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I haven't seen Scully in a week. We spoke at least once a day but it wasn't enough. I miss her terribly. Diana and I have been on a case in some godforsaken town in Missouri tracking a serial killer. As it turns out, an utterly nonsupernatural serial killer. It's only three in the afternoon when Diana and I arrive back in DC. She wants to go to may apartment of finish sorting out this case and writing out report, but all I can think about is wrapping my arms around Scully. "Fox?" she says when she realizes I'm somewhere else. "Sorry, Diana, what were you saying?" "I was just saying that we should pick up some food on the way to your place. As soon as we make heads or tails of these autopsy reports, the rest of out report should go quickly." Autopsy report? I hold my hand up to silece Diana and pull my phone out ot my pocket. She answers on the first ring. "Scully." "It's me." I say, trying not to smile at the sound of her voice. "Your back? That's wonderful. How long before you can get here?" I step away from Diana in order to contiune in privacy. I look toward her and see a frown across her features. "That's what I called to talk to you about. Diana and I have a lot of paperwork to finish." "Oh," the disappointment in her voice was evident. "I was actually thinking we could do the work at your apartment. I have some autopsey reports I want you to look at. That way, I don't have to wait so long to see you." I let my voice become a sexy whisper at the end, hoping to persuade her. "I don't think that's a good idea. We decide to be discrete about us. I haven't seen you in a week and I don't know if I can keep my self from jumping you when you walk in the door. That's not how you want Diana to find out about us, is it? I was thinking more along the lines of a birth announcement." "Your and evil woman, Dana Scully. We'll be over soon," I say, hitting 'end' on her laugh. I approach Diana, who is standing with her arms crossed over her chest, "How is Agent Scully?" she asks, faking both concern and enthusiasm. "Fine," I respond. At least the dislake is mutual. "We are going to pick up some food and head to her apartment to finsh the reports there." "Her apartment! Fox, I though we were going...." I cut her off, "We need help with the medical examiners reports and I can't think of a better person to consult." Diana makes some comment about Scully not having anything better to do on a Friday night and I actually resist the urge to deck her. Tonight could be interesting. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Off the top of my head I can think of at least ten thousand things I would rather be doing on a Friday night than having dinner with Diana Fowley. Most involve Mulder. Some actaully involve Agent Fowley but she is in severe pain in all of those. At least I get to see Mulder sooner this way. Maybe I can think of a reason to get him alone for a few minutes for a proper welcome. In the meantime, I try to de-Mulderize my apartment. I didn't relized how much of his stuff had accumulated here in the past few monthes. It was a mutal decision to keep out relationship fairly private. It is strictly on a need to know basis. I would love to rub it in Diana's face but I don't trust her to keep it to herself. I'm afraid she had friends in high places. Evil, cigarette-smoking friends. Thankfully, Mulder remembers not to use his key. I open the door and admit him and Diana. I try to take the food but he insists on carrying it into the kitchen. I give him a strange look but allow him to follow as Diana announces she is going to freshen up. As I reach up to gather dishes and cutlery we'll need for dinner I feel Mulder's arms around me. I spin and he attacks my mouth with his own. He breaks way and whispers, "I've missed you," into my ear. I press my forhead against his and say, "I've missed you more." He moves into kiss me again then jumps back. Then he moves his hands to my stomach. "Where'd this come from?" he says with a mischevous smile. "I've put on a few pounds since the last time you've seen me," I say and return the smile. The baby chooses that moment to kick, hard. I wince then notice the huge grin on Mulder's face. "I felt her!" he said amazed. "So did I," I say. I lean in for another kiss but stop short when we hear Diana coming from the bathroom. Instead I mouth, "I love you." Mulder returns the gesture and reluctantly removes his hand from my stomach. We move to join Diana in my living room. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I wanted to cry when I felt our baby girl kick. I can't believe the timing! I want to run around and shout it from the rooftops but instead I have to spend the evening sitting between two women who hate each other, rumaging through piles of paper work. I have two wishes for the remainder of the afternoon and this evening. First, I hope I can keep from slipping and reveiling my relationship with Scully to Diana. Second, I hope to keep Diana and Scully from killing each other. Diana smiles politly as Scully and I return from the kitchen with the food and dishes. Scully settles her self on the floor and I take a seat on the sofa next to Diana. We eat in silence for a while then Diana speaks, "So, Dana, I hear you requested your transfer to Quantico?" Scully nods and Diana continues, "I can't imagine ever giving up feild agent status. Not for medical reaons I hope. I mean, Fox told me about your cancer." Scully spared me a glance I rise to take the dishes into the kitchen, hoping to avoid a potential confrontation. "I'm fine, Agent Fowley," was Scully's curt reply. "You do look good, Dana. You've gained some weight. It suits you," Fowley continues. "I agree." I interject as I return from the kitchen. "Let's get to work." After a few hours, we have our report finished. Diana actually thanks Scully for her helps. It would have taken hours longer had Scully not been there. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Thank God that's over with. I think if I had to make nice with that woman for one more instanst I was going to pull out my Sig and end it all. I need to learn to control my violent tendencies where Diana is concerned. She is Mulder's partner and I know she cares about him. With the reports finished, Diana raises and begins to gather her things. "Fox," she begins as she shrugs on her coat, "it's still early, I was wondering if you wanted to stop for a drink on the way back to your apartment?" "Actually Diana, I'm kind of tired." "That's fine, Fox, we can just go back to your apartment..." I can't stand it anymore. "Fox," I say with a smile, "I was actually wonder if you could stay here and we can go over those files?" Mulder look confused but nods his head in agreement. "I'm sure he would love to stay Dana but then he won't have a ride home." "Don't worry about that Diana," I say as I practically shove her out the door. "Have a good night, Fox will see you Monday." I slam the door in her face and turn to Mulder. "Scully, that wasn't very nice." "No," I agree, "It wasn't." He laughs but his laughter is cut short by my mouth on his. Mulder easily lifts me into his arms and gently deposits me on the sofa. We continue to neck like teenagers, until the baby decides to take some action. Mulder is off me in an instant. I laugh at his wide eyes, "It's okay Mulder." "I know, "he says with a grin, "it was just a little unexpected." The baby kicks again and I grab Mulder's hand and place it on my swollen stomach. He smile and leans in for another kiss. Then he pulls me into his arms. Mulder ends up leaning against the arm of the sofa with me secured on the V of his legs. His arms are wrapped around me abd gently resting on my stomach so he can feel every motion of our little girl. I fall asleep with Mulder wrapped around me. When I wake up in the morning I am in my bed with Mulder. end part 15 === AIM: xflznicole "From birth all we ever truly want is for people to love us. Whether we're black or white, businessmen or crack whores, satanic lesbians or self-mutalating homophobes, Barbra Streisand or Gary Coleman; it's what makes the world go 'round. So, if you're out there, David Duchovny, why won't you love me? Why?" ~Jerry Springer on Bree Sharp video. Part 16 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX When I walk into my office Monday morning I am whistling. "Good weekend, Fox?" Diana's voice chimes from inside my basement office. "Yes it was. Yours?" I say and notice that Diana has taken up resisdence behind my desk. "Fine. I tried to reach you a couple of times but you weren't home." "My cell was on." "I tried your apartment phone. Were you out of town?" "What's with the twenty questions Diana? Why were you trying to get ahold of me?" I ask, wondering what kind of game she was playing. "I hoped we could get together. Catch up on old times." I hear a longing in her voice, "Listen, Diana, you know that we can never go back to how it was. As I remember for the most part it wasn't that great. I am happy you are in my life again as my partner and as my friend, but it can never become anything more, not again." She nods and comptemplates the desk blotter for a few minutes before looking up, "I'm gald we can be friends again, too. So, how about if I take you to lunch, my treat. I do really want a chance for us to catch up. We we did see each other for what, seven years?" "I would like that too, Diana," I reply. "But I have plans." "With Scully?" "Yes, is that a problem?" "Not at all, Fox. By the way, I was wondering, why exactly did she leave the X-Files? She says it wasn't for health reasons, and you two seem to get on rather well, so I doubt it was perfessional differences." "Her request was for personal reasons." "I see, and she chose not to disclose them to you?" I can't for the life of me understand why this is of such interest to Diana but the whole situation is making me unconfortable. "Why, Diana, what did you hear?" There is an edge on my voice that I know she picks up on. She smiles, "I'm sorry, Fox. I should have made my intentions clear." I remain silent waiting for an explanation. "You see, I was talking to some other agent in the ladies room and the latest bit of gossip is that Dana requested a transfer...well...rumor has it that Dana Scully is pregnant. I just figured if anyone would know it would be you." I continue to stare, unbale to speak. Fortunaltly, Diana construes my silence as shock. "I'm sorry, Fox, I guess you hadn't heard a thing about it." Finally I regain my voice, "Why do people think she's pregnant?" "Well, first there was the transfer, then she appears to have put on weight. You said that you've even noticed. Someone also said they saw her coming out of an OB's office and someone else noticed her and an older woman, her mother I assume, shopping for baby furniture." I nod again. Then ask, "What do you think?" She gets up kneels in front of the chair I was sitting in, Scully's chair. "I can see you care about her a lot." She pauses when she notices the shock on my face. "I see the way you look at her, Fox. You used to look at me the same way." I smile and she pauses. "As a friend, I don't want to see you get hurt. That's why I brought it up. I wanted to know if you had heard the rumor or if you new if it was valid. I would rather you hear it from me, someone who cares about you, then someone who would use the information to hurt you. To answer your question, I think the evidence is circumstancial at best. I also think that if it's true, it means she isn't intersted in you. I just don't want her to hurt you." "Diana, thank you for your honestly and your concern. I'm sure Scully would tell me something like that. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some phone calls to make." Diana tips her head and leaved my office and shuts the door behind her. I quickley press 3 on my speed dial for Scully'd office and ger her answering service, "Scully, it's me. You'll never guess what the latest bit of gossip going around the rumor mill is..." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX After I heard the rumors about the addition to my family, I am being much more careful. It won't be long before I'm unable to hide my pregnancy but I would still like to keep it under my belt, so to speak, for a while longer. So, tonight, my first night of childbirth classes, Mulder and I are arriving and separate cars and I am being extra careful about who is around and who is watching me. Our first class goes smoothly. Mulder was suprising. He was well behaved and even asked questions. He obviously has been doing his homework. Mulder never ceases to amaze me. After class I return to my apartment and wait for Mulder. When he comes in he has a bag full of all the ingrediants for ice cream sundaes. I grab some bowls from th cabinet and join him on the sofa. Mulder seems nervous so I ask him what wrong. "Scully," he begins. Then he taks my ice cream and places it on the coffe table. Then he takes both of my hands in his and contiunues. "I know we have talked about this and I know you said that you didn't want too, but recently things have changed." He's not! I cna't beleive he's goning to propose again! What am I going to say? I can't say no again. Can I? "Mulder..." "Shhh," he says. "I was wondering, I mean....I was hopeing that we could...I mean, I think that we should..." He's going to do it! I can't say no. I love him. I'm in love with him. I'm having his baby. I've been happier in the last feew months, with him, than I ever have before. I smile, waiting for him to finish his question. "...Scully, I think that we should go ahead and tell people about us, about the baby. I mean, they are going to know pretty soon anyway and I would kind of like to tell the world how happy I am and how much I love you." For emphasis he pats my stomach and then kisses me lightly on the lips. That was a shock. I smile and kiss him on the cheek. It was time we let people know. It may be easier to protect her if their are more people looking out for her than just the two of us. Besides, I'm running out of suits that fit and there is no way to descretly shop for maternity clothes. "Agreed, one one condition, I get to tell Diana." He laughs and pulls me into his arms. "You though I was going to ask you to marry me again, didn't you?" end part 16 === AIM: xflznicole "From birth all we ever truly want is for people to love us. Whether we're black or white, businessmen or crack whores, satanic lesbians or self-mutalating homophobes, Barbra Streisand or Gary Coleman; it's what makes the world go 'round. So, if you're out there, David Duchovny, why won't you love me? Why?" ~Jerry Springer on Bree Sharp video. Part 17 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX A few days later Diana and I were sent to investigate the supposed haunting of a colonial bed and breakfast in Maine. Surveillance was not going well and we had been here for over a week. I missed Scully's last ultrasound and a childbirth class. I also missed Scully. To top it all off, Diana was acting wierd. Last night she came to my room with two cups of coffee insisting that this would be the perfect oppurtunity of catch up on old times. This morning I woke to the rining of the phone, thankfully Diana was there to answer it. Diana? Yes, Diana. Why is she in my room? God, what is she doing in my bed! Shit! Finally I manage, "Diana?" "Shh, Fox, go back to sleep." "What are you doing here?" "I can't beleive you don't remember last night, Fox." I jump out of bed and find myself dressed only in my boxers. Last night? What the hell happened? She came over, we had coffee, we.... "Diana, nothing happened last night, did it?" Diana sat up and I realized she is in the same cloth she was wearing when she came in, thank God. "We talked, I wouldn't call that nothing." "No, that's not what I meant. I remember that." I noticed the dissappointed look on her face and added, "That was nice." "This was nice too," she said motioning to the bed. We didn't. I know. I couldn't do that to Scully. "This?" "Waking up next to someone. It was like old times, Fox. Just like when we were..." As she talked my mind wondered to Scully. I hope she never found out about this. I couldn't stand to upset her. Then I realized that the ringing phone woke me and it was a good hour before my scheduled wake-up call, "Diana? Who called?" "What?" "The phone, who was on the phone?" "What does it matter, Fox, come back to bed," she said patting the spot I had previously occupied. "Who was on the phone, Diana?" I asked more forcefully. She stared at me for a minute, took a deep breath, then responded, "Agent Scully. She calls awfully early. She didn't say what she wanted but she sounded mad." Shit! Scully. How am I ever going to explain this one. Just then the phone rang again. I lunged for the phone before Diana had a chance to pick it up. "Scully?" "Mulder, good morning, I'm glad to see your up," she said coldly. "Scully, I can explain..." "Not necessary Mulder, I understand, you were working late and one thing lead to another. In situations like that I can understand how easy it would be to forget about your pregnant girlfriend," her voice was monotone and flat. "Scully, I swear nothing..." "Save it Mulder," she snapped Then Diana started, "What's wrong, Fox? What does it matter what Scully thinks? Hang up and come back to bed...." "Shut up, Diana!" "Scully..." "Go on Mulder," Scully urged. "I know how much you still care for Diana." "Damit Scully! Listen to me! I do care for Diana." Heard Scully exhale and saw a self satisfying look spread across Diana's face. "But I love you." Scully sniffled and Diana looked on the verge of tears. "I love you, Scully, you know that. I promised I would never let anything or anyone come between us and I won't." "I love you too Mulder." Scully whispers, her voice shakey. "Please give me a minute, Scully, there are a few things I need to clear up here. I will call you back in a few minutes, okay?" "Okay," was all she said before I heard the click of her receiver. Then I turned to Diana, "I'm sorry you had to find out that way. I don't know what you thought would happen or was happening between us, but I though I made it clear that nothing could or would happen between us." Diana nodded and droped her head, pulling the blankets of my bed further around her, "What's going on between you and Dana, Fox? Please tell me the truth, I think I deserve that much." This time I nod, "Scully and I have been together for about five months. The rumors are true: she is pregnant and the baby is mine." I let what I said sink in before I continued, "I haven't been this happy in a long time Diana, not since well..." We share a smile and then I move to sit next to on the bed and take her hand in mine. "I do care about you Diana, and am very, very happy that we have a relationship again, though only perfessional." Finally Diana looked up, "Did you ever truly love me, Fox?" "Yes." "When did you stop?" "I never really did, I suppose." "But..." she prompted. "But, I love Scully." Diana nods then says, "She's a lucky woman, though I don't think she would appreciating me telling her that. I'll leave and let you get back to her." With that Diana left the room and I was left to smooth things over with Scully once again. I must really have it bad because to me she was definitly worth all the trouble. end part 17 === AIM: xflznicole "From birth all we ever truly want is for people to love us. Whether we're black or white, businessmen or crack whores, satanic lesbians or self-mutalating homophobes, Barbra Streisand or Gary Coleman; it's what makes the world go 'round. So, if you're out there, David Duchovny, why won't you love me? Why?" ~Jerry Springer on Bree Sharp video. part 18 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX When Mulder returned to DC, he came directly to my apartment and hasn't left since. I figure he is trying to make amends for what happened. What he doesn't know is that I forgive him. I don't forgive Diana. I never trusted her and this situation just proved my theory. It is wonderful having Mudler around. I feel safe and loved whenever his is with me. They baby responds to him, too. She moves around whenever she hears his voice. He loves it and will sit for hours talking to my stomach. I love to watch him. I had my doubts at first but and now convinced that Mulder will be a wonderful father. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Scully is six and a half months along and she is definitly showing. This means that very few of her cloths still fit. That means that we got to spend all day at the mall shopping for maternity clothes. We also shopped for more sensible shoes. Her collection of four inch heels has been replaced with ones that are much eaiser on her feet and back. Now we are in bed and I am trying to alleviate some of the pain in her lower back with one of my famous Mulder-meassages. "Mulder," she purs, "you're wonderful." "I know. I figure this is why you keep me around." "No," she says, rolling onto her back. "This is why I keep you around, " and she pulls me down for a kiss. I pull away and smile, "I love you, Scully." She rolls back onto her side, "Get back to work, g-man." After a few minutes I hear, "Mulder?" "Yeah?" I say as I continue to work her muscles. "Why don't you move in here?" I stop and she again rolls on her back to look up at me. "Really?" I say with a smile. She considers for a minute then smiles, "Really." I bend down for another, deeper, more pasionate kiss. When I pull away, I say, "Tomorrow okay?" XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX My apartment will be perfect for the three on us. I had almost everything we needed so most of Mulder's stuff ended up in storage. There were few exceptions, his fish are now in my living room and so his leather sofa. I insisted we keep the later around, we have some great memories on that sofa. Mulder and I are suprisingly good roomates. Our new living situation also makes more sense. Mulder was here all the time anyway. Diana, of coures hates this situation. It means that when her and Mulder work late at night I am there to chaperone. That is a perk I hadn't consisered. Another perk is that Mulder here to get me food when I suffer from one of my cravings. Lately I have been eating a lot of cheese. Plain cheese or anything with cheese on it. Also, which amuses Mulder to no end, I am craving sunflower seeds. Luckily those are fairly easy to come by. Just one more perk of having Mulder around that I hadn't considered. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I am bored. Bored. Bored. Scully is at a baby shower and I am alone in her, our apartment. I called the Lone Gunman but they are busy installing some new software. Whatever. I checked my email and now I am bouncing the basketball around the apartment. Scully would kill me if she saw me now. I can't remember the last time I wasn't around Scully that I wasn't on a case. I can't even remember what I used to do when she and I weren't together. I also can't imagine going back to a life without her again. I can't even imagine a future without her. I think it's time for me to do some shopping to prove to her how serious I am about us. end part 18 === AIM: xflznicole "From birth all we ever truly want is for people to love us. Whether we're black or white, businessmen or crack whores, satanic lesbians or self-mutalating homophobes, Barbra Streisand or Gary Coleman; it's what makes the world go 'round. So, if you're out there, David Duchovny, why won't you love me? Why?" ~Jerry Springer on Bree Sharp video. Part 19 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX "Alison" "No." "Jennifer?" "I like it but it's too common." "Dana." "Mulder, we are not going to name our daughter after me!" Mulder laughs and pulls my feet into his lap and begins to massage them, "I think its a beautiful name." I lean against the arm of the sofa, enjoying the attention. "Right. That's why I have heard you say it, what three times, in the seven years I have known you?" He snorts and continues to message my feet. Picking out names is harder than I thought. We tried both making lists and comparing. Unfortunately we had no names in common. Now, we are just brain storming. "I got it!" he exclaims, "Laura!" I laugh, "I said we are not naming our baby after me. That includes any of my aliases!" He laughs and continues working on my feet. "How about....I can't think of anything Mulder! You keep going." He smiles and thinks for a few minutes and starts to rattle off names again. I love this. I love us. Mulder and I together, sitting around our apartment on a rainy Saturday afternoon, enjoying each other's company. I could definitely do this for the rest of my life. "Scully?" "What?....Sorry Mulder, I was thinking." "'bout what?" I smile, "How wonderful this is." "I love you, Scully." "I love you too. Now, about those names...." "Stephanie.....Sarah....Shannon?" "No." "Katherine?" I consider, "I'd like Katherine as a middle name, I think. It is a family name...." "Great! Katherine it is, now we just need a first name." I am having a hard time concentrating on what Mulder is saying, I all I can think about is how much I love him and how important he is in my life. Then I start thinking about the numerous times I though I had lost him and a shiver runs through my body. He notices. "You okay Scully?" "I'm fine. Really," but I'm not. I would die if I lost him. I need him. He is my better half. Mulder continues with the names for a while and I stop him before I know what I'm doing, "Mulder?" "Hum?" he says, dropping my feet into his lap. "Marry me?" I say, in almost a whisper, shocked at hearing the words come out of my mouth. "Mary? I think that's a little common. I'm not saying that my name..." He must not of heard me so I turn so I pull my feet from his lap sit up facing him on the sofa. I stop his rambling with I kiss. "No, Mulder, I said 'marry me.' I want us to get married." He smiles the absolute biggest smile I have ever seen and I repeat, "Fox William Mulder, will you marry me?" He cups my face in his hands and drops a kiss to my forehead, "Scully, don't you know by now, I would do anything you asked?" Then he kisses my lips. When he pulls away he says, "And don't call me Fox." I take his answer as a yes. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull he head down for another deeper kiss. We spend the rest of the evening tangled in each others arms, all thoughts of baby names forgotten. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX When Scully wakes up the next morning she is smiling. I assume I am the reason for the smile and I don't plan on letting it leave her face for the rest of the day. For the past few hours I have been sitting the arm chair at the foot of the bed watching her sleep. "What are you doing," she says when she notices me in the room but not in bed. "Watching you." She smiles shyly, "Mulder, come back to bed." I hold up my hand, "In a minute, I have a surprise for you first." She gives me a perplexed look as leave the room. I few minutes later I return with her breakfast. "Breakfast in bed? Mulder, this is wonderful. I could get used to this," she says. "Good thing you're going to have me around for a long time," I say as I settle back into bed to watch her eat. She ends up feeding me and I her and soon all the plates are empty. She moves to take the tray and dishes back into the kitchen. "Scully, lie back down, you haven't had dessert!" "Dessert? Mulder, I'm stuffed!" she protests. "That's fine, it's small, " I say pulling a small box from a dresser drawer. She eyes the box suspiciously. I nod in encouragement she begins to unwrap it. When she comes across the small velvet box her eyes lock with mine, then she returned her eyes to the box. As she opens the box, I notice her hands are shaking. "God, Mulder, it's beautiful!" I take the small solitaire diamond ring from the box and place it on her hand. Then I bring her hand to my mouth for a kiss. "I was planning on asking you, but you beat me to it. I actually had this for a while, I was just waiting for the right time." She tries to blink the tears out of her eyes, but is unsuccessful as one escapes and runs down her cheek, "Go ahead and ask." I giver her a questioning look and she nods. I climb out of bed and kneel on the floor in front of her and say, "Dana Katherine Scully, will you marry me?" "Yes," is all she manages before I crush our lips together. We spend the rest of the day in bed and I am happy to say, the smile never leaves her face. === AIM: xflznicole "From birth all we ever truly want is for people to love us. Whether we're black or white, businessmen or crack whores, satanic lesbians or self-mutalating homophobes, Barbra Streisand or Gary Coleman; it's what makes the world go 'round. So, if you're out there, David Duchovny, why won't you love me? Why?" ~Jerry Springer on Bree Sharp video. Part 20 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I am huge. Absolutely huge. I actually look like I am about to pop. The worst part about it is I still have three weeks to go. Mulder assures me that I am more beautiful than ever, but I suspect it is a line he found in one of the many pregnancy guides he is so fond of reading. I don't look beautiful and I most definitely don't feel beautiful. I feel heavy and sore, and I again have to pee in ten minute intervals. I am also alone, Mulder left this morning on a case with Diana. He was going to send Diana by her self but she made him feel guilty. I assured him I would be fine and sent him on his way. Before he left he packed a hospital bad for me, just in case. It now sits by the door. My mom offered to come over and keep me company but I don't want to trouble her. If Mulder thinks this case may take awhile to complete, so if he isn't home in a week or so I may have my mom come stay with me. I'm getting really nervous and think I may feel better if someone is around. Just then the phone rings, "Hello." "Hey," Mulder answers and I smile at the sound of his voice. "How are you feeling?" "Large." He laughs. I hear a lot on noise in the background. "Mulder, where are you?" "In the airport. Diana and I just go off the plane." I hear more noise and Diana's voice, then Mulder says, "Hold on a minute Scully." Then I hear, "Diana, why don't you go get the car, I need to talk to Scully privately. I will meet you at the rental desk in a few minutes." I laugh as I imagine Diana's face. "Mulder?" "Yeah?" "You could have waited until tonight to call me." "Actually I couldn't because I have some exciting news I need to share." "Oh?" "Yes, I have found the perfect name for the baby!" This should be good. At this point I don't believe the perfect name exists. I figure we are going to end up with Baby Mulder written on our birth announcements. "I'm listening." "Well, when the our plane landed in the plausible state of Oregon, it came to me." He sounded really excited. I was growing more weary by the minute. "How did Oregon make you think of a name?" "I'll explain, you need to be a little patient Scully," he said in a joking tone. I didn't respond, eager for him to continue. "You see, as we landed, I started to think about our first case. How us coming to Oregon seven years ago led to our life together today. Also, how seven years ago we had no idea that a simple trip to Oregon would be the beginning of something so wonderful. You see, Oregon was the beginning of our trust and friendship just like the baby was the beginning our romance. So, since she, in a way, was our beginning, I think we should name her Genesis." I considered, Genesis, that was unusual but no necessarily bad. When I didn't respond, he continued, "Genesis Katherine.....whatever." To that point I hadn't realized that we never discussed last names. I always assumed, 'Mulder' would be the last name. So I offered, "Mulder." "What?" "No, I mean for the last name. Mulder. Genesis Katherine Mulder." "We can call her Gena. Gena Mulder." I can tell he's smiling. I am too. I might actually like this name. It wasn't common and it had a lot of meaning. Genesis, because she was our beginning; Katherine, a name that had been passed down through many generations of Scully's; and Mulder, a name passed down through the generations of Mulder's. Gena was wonderful, too. "So, what do you think." "I think, it's perfect Mulder." "I think you're perfect." I smile and say, "I love you. Now, get back to work so you can get home sooner, G-man!" "Take care of your self and little Gena. Call me if anything happens." "I will," I assure him. "I love you, Scully," he says before we hang up. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX It's 3 am when the phone rings "Mulder." "Fox, its Maggie." I panic, "Maggie? Is Scully all right." "She's in a little pain, but I think she's doing okay." "Pain? Maggie what happened?" She laughs, "Dana went into labor about an hour ago." "Labor? Why didn't you call me sooner! I'm on my way. Can I talk to her?" I start to dress as I hear Maggie and Scully's voice on the other end of the phone. I have almost finished and am heading for the door when I hear , "Mulder?" "Hey! How are you." "I'm fine. I'll be better as soon as I see you." Just then she moans in pain. "Scully? You still there?" "I'm here. How soon can you get here?" "I'm heading for the airport as we speak. I'll be there soon, I promise." "I love you, Mulder." "I love you too Scully." As soon as I hang up I dial the airport and press my gas more firmly on the accelerator. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I'm almost fully dilated by the time Mulder arrives. I am so glad he made it in time. I was beginning to wonder. I know it would have killed him to miss this. He practically runs to my bed and places a sofa kiss on my lips. "How are you feeling?" "I'm fine," I lie. "That bad, huh?" he says with a smile. I smile back. God, this man knows me so well. After another 45 minutes, I am fully dilated and ready to deliver. Mulder holds my hand and whispers words of love and encouragement through the whole thing. His eyes tear up when he cuts the cord and the tears begin to fall as he hands me little Gena for the first time, "She is so beautiful, Scully." He's right, she is. She's perfect. This is perfect, my life with Mulder, our baby. When this all began, when I found out I was pregnant, I can remember thinking how cruel life was, how out of control I felt. I blamed Mulder and the X-Files for everything that was happening to me and everything that had happened in my life. Me getting pregnant just seemed like rubbing my nose into everything they had done to me. Now I think that maybe, just maybe those men that I have grown to hate with all my being, weren't responsible. A higher power was at work in my life, showing me that even though I have little control over my life and my fate, things can still turn out for the best. They can still be wonderful. When I look at Mulder and Gena all I can see is the many wonderful things life has in store for me. The End agtdianafowley@yahoo.com === AIM: xflznicole "From birth all we ever truly want is for people to love us. Whether we're black or white, businessmen or crack whores, satanic lesbians or self-mutalating homophobes, Barbra Streisand or Gary Coleman; it's what makes the world go 'round. So, if you're out there, David Duchovny, why won't you love me? Why?" ~Jerry Springer on Bree Sharp video.