From: Sue <susieqla@yahoo.com>
Date: Tue, 9 Sep 2003 03:38:28 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: RE:  Dana Revisited (1/1)
Source: direct


TITLE:      Dana Revisited  (1/1)
AUTHOR:     Sue
EMail:      susieqla@yahoo.com
RATING:     PG-13
CATEGORY:   MSR
SPOILERS:   None.
SUMMARY:    One of many decisions.
DISCLAIMER: F. Mulder, D. Scully, and other
            X-Files treatments and references
            are the EXCLUSIVE PROPERTY of 10-13 Productions.




Dana Revisited


After a long sigh, she muttered into her cell phone,
"Come on, Mulder, PICK UP!  I know you're there..."

"Hello..."

He sounded vague, she thought, as though he didn't
quite know who she was, or even who he was, for
that matter.  Following her sigh of relief, his
partner of several years now answered, "Mulder, it's
me.  I've been trying to reach you.  I've left
messages upon mess-"

"Oh, uh...hi, Scully..."  On the other end of the
line, he closed his eyes, picturing her with an
angry face, one with a scowl that was her trademark
when she thought he needed discipline of the sternest
vintage.

Bringing her car to a complete stop as the school bus 
a mere two yards in front of her discharged several
children at a neighborhood school, Scully frowned
harder.  "Where have you been?"

Mulder sat up straighter on his couch, the remote
sailed out of his hand and knocked the large, empty
Fritos bag and Pepsi can to the floor.  He groped
for the fallen flipper and switched off the set.
'Time to face the music, Fox,' spiraled in his head.
Gently he said into the phone, "At home...mostly."

She stared at her brooding reflection in the rearview 
mirror a moment longer before starting up again as
the bus got rolling.  'Home,' she thought.  All this
time?  "I thought maybe you were doing some
extra-curricular legwork on your own, Mulder.  Without
me.  I've been trying to reach you for two whole weeks
since our last assignment ended."  The undercover
exercise in versatility that had seemed it never
wanted to end.  "Are you ill?"

The blood-shot eyed agent flopped back against his
couch, and when the upstart of pain coursed through
his weary body he wished he hadn't done it.  'I'm
terminal,' he thought with a cavalier grimace.  "No,
Scully, I'm okay...sorta."  The way he sounded, even
he didn't buy it.  "What?  Assistant Director
Perpetual Royal Pain In The Butt givin' ya flack over
my sudden disappearance?"

"I've covered for you as I usually do, if that's what 
you mean."

Mulder grinned despite his glum mood.  "That's my girl."

Scully pressed her lips together, her keel even, as
she continued heading for his side of town.  "Do you
think I like being ditched?  How would you like it
if the shoe were on the other foot?"

He fumbled, wanting to say a million witty, yet
meaningful things.  Sorely unable, he worried his
lower lip with teeth that had been set on edge.
"...Look, Scully...about what nearly happened at the 
rest stop...in the van...after...I'm REALLY sorr-"

She blinked away what his clumsy reference had brought
to her eyes.  "I'm on my way over...with dinner.  Any 
preferences?"

"Scully, I don't think coming over's such a--"

"I'll bring Chinese.  I know what you like."

"Scull--"

"I'll see you soon.  We'll talk."  Before ending the
call, she advised, "Don't flake out on me, Mulder.  
If you don't answer the door this time, I'll camp out 
in your hallway and have your neighors think I've
become a permanant fixture."

Nodding, he acquiesed, and thought, Let's give 'em
somethin' to talk about.  "You win, then.  I'll let
you in."  He hesitated less than a moment before
blurting, "Don't take too long.  I've missed you.
I didn't mean to--"

"Not over the phone.  Later..."

"Later," he said, hearing the sound of his forcefully
beating heart clamor in his ears.  He took slow, deep
breaths, trying to calm himself and what was left of
nerves that still hadn't frayed.  How those sturdier
ones managed to remain intact, he'd never know.

"I've missed you too."  She smiled, having said that.
What was so hard about speaking one's feelings?
"See you."

In the half hour's time it took for him to hear her 
determined-sounding footfalls echo in the hallway, he'd 
made a feeble attempt to tidy up his unkempt 
apartment.  Unfortunately, the messiness was beyond 
his control to tame in so short a time.  He hoped she
wouldn't notice how far he'd let things go.

Following several light raps on the familiar barrier,
Scully announced her presence.  "Mulder, I'm here."
Her eyes traced the freshly-polished numerals on his
door.  "The food's getting cold."

The door snapped wide open, guided by the apartment
occupant's unseen hand.  Stepping out from behind it,
and looking sheepish, Mulder studied her intently
with eyes that came alive at the lovely sight of her.
She looked comfortable, dressed in faded jeans, an
all-weather jacket of smoke grey zippered half way
that revealed a light navy sweater beneath.  "Do I
still have a job?  Tell me you haven't been assigned
to someone else."

She shook her head, noting the edge in his voice.
"Skinner, following my lead for who knows what reason,
has been covering for you."

"You underestimate your powers of suggestion, Scully."

"Suggestion has nothing to do with it, Mulder.  I
demanded that he cover for you, or else."

"Or else what, Scully?"

"Could I bring dinner inside, or do you prefer we
dine on your doorstep?"

"I've got those."

Handing off the take-out bags, she nodded, looking
upbeat as she closed the door behind them and promptly
followed him to the kitchen.  "I would tender my
resignation without batting an eye."

"Admit it, Scully, the big guy is shot through and
through with multiple soft spots for you.  If you
ordered him to jump, G-woman, he'd growl his, 'how
high?' soft enough for your ears only."

The mental imagry was sheer ludicrousness.  "Jealous,
Mulder?"  She began removing the cartons as well
as the throwaway knives, forks and spoons from the
plastic bags.  Keeping her hands busy had the knack
of getting her to speak her mind.  This was a surprise.
She hadn't expected this of him.  What she had been
expecting was Mulder, morose and tightly coiled within
himself, keeping her at her wit's end.  Was he forcing
this bright mood?  She chose to leave that for
conjecture, after they had eaten.

"Should I be?" he countered, his hazel eyes evenly
matching hers that sparkled.  He perceived that the
gauntlet of challenge had been thrown down and he
was only too obliging to pick it up.  If she wanted
it, he'd even hand it to her with a bow tied at
the business end.  It pleased him to think that this
day had a distinctly brighter side to it.  What was
his excuse for lying low, cutting off all contact
with her?  She'd brought dinner, her idea--not his.

"Don't be silly."  She whisked off to hunt up two
plates; if good fortune smiled upon her, she'd
manage to find at least two.  In Mulder's kitchen
finding anything relatively clean was a challenge.

Mulder regarded her with a quioxtic expression,
content having her in his kitchen, trying
domesticity on for size.  "I smell Kung Pau Chicken."

"No mystery there.  You do, because I said I was
bringing your favorite."

"Ah, so you did."  Looking at her thoughtfully, he
added with an air of expectancy, "With the red chiles?"

She paused long enough from her search to regard him
with a knowing expression.  "Did I, or did I not say
I know what you like?"

"Okay, then...a silly question."  Pausing, as she had,
allowing for a moment's consideration, he said, "You
figure I need some feel good, eh?"

Having found two plates at last, Scully nodded
absently as she removed them from the cabinet a
little off from the sink and said, "I think we
could both stand some."  Sounding as though it was
the most natural thing to ask, she continued, "Why
are you hiding out?"  No pressure, she reminded
herself.

"Is that what you think, Scully?  That I'm hiding
out?"

She began serving up the food.  "What would you call
disappearing for as long as you've been missing in
action?  An unavoidable hiatus?"  She put two of
the four fortune cookies on his plate, handing it
to him without so much as a smirk to detract from
her lovely features.  "Take these please."  She
handed him the heaping plates that smelled rich,
looked tempting and made his mouth water; his
stomach rumbled.  Borborygmus at its most acute,
he lamented, embarrassed.  He tried to cover it up
with a smile he hoped would cozen her into thinking
the sound had come from his whirring refrigerator,
but he couldn't quite pull it off.  "Go, sit.  I'll
grab whatever else we need."

"Wine too," he said, sounding awed.

"Exceptionally dry..."

"Also just the way I like it."

"Go get comfortable."

Nodding, Mulder heeded her suggestion, and thought
she was making him so at ease, as though he
deserved to feel this relaxed.  Once settled on
his couch, he waited for his partner who he heard
opening and closing things, to come join him.

"Why aren't you eating?" Scully asked, noticing
his untouched plate sitting in his lap as she
approached the couch.  The heady aroma the food
was throwing off overpowered the stuffiness of
the room.

"Waiting for you."  He watched her intently as
she set his tumbler of wine down on the coffee
table.  He never knew his freezer could make so
many ice cubes.  For some reason, whose niggling
had sneaked up on him, he wondered why she wore
her hair up.  Smiling inwardly, he considered
whether he had the nerve to tell her that she
should wear it like that more often.  "After we
toast, we can braid our arms and sip the first
of our wine they way they do in the old movies
you like, Scully."

She threw him a sidelong glance which lasted
longer than she had intended it to when she
seated herself beside him.  "I've always wanted
to do that," she confessed as she picked up her
fork.

"Then let's," Mulder decided, leaving no doubt
in his partner's mind that linkage of the kind
he'd just described was a wonderful idea.  He
felt how the idea made him warm all over; he
was very warm all over.  'Who needs wine,' he
thought with guilty pleasure.

"Okay...but let's get some of this food into our
stomachs first before we imbibe.  I haven't eaten
since this morning, and it was only half a toasted
bagel with light cream cheese.  With less than a
cup of brutal coffee to wash it down.  Alcohol
hitting my stone empty stomach is not a good idea;
it's a one way ticket to giddy city with no
possibility of transferring."

"And that would be bad because..." Mulder teased.

"Mulllllder," Scully dramatized.  "I'm no fun
drunk."

He arched the eyebrow he arched best, and without
uttering a sound said, "Let me be the judge of
that."  With his fork already in hand, and
playfully wielding it, he made a stab into the
fragrant entree.  More of the sharp aroma filled
his nostrils, making his mouth water even more.

"Well?"  Scully got a kick out of his slow,
deliberate chewing.  She counted he must have
chewed at least fifteen times before swallowing.

Opening his eyes, Mulder said with the requisite
amount of gusto, "Ambrosia.  The best KPC I've
ever eaten.  New place?"

Scully finished wiping a greasy dot of sauce off
her chin, glad that she had followed the suggestion
made by her neighbor who lived two doors down.
The young single woman was a treasure trove of
information concerning best take-outs in the
immediate area, so it seemed.  "As a matter of
fact, yes.  It's very new, so new that to
celebrate their grand opening, one of these
dinners was half price."

The smile on his face, as though empowered with
life of its own, wouldn't quit, and Mulder kept
going with it.  'A nice infection for once,' he
thought, noticing how easily Scully smiled back
and he figured he must be doing something right.
Whatever it was, he resolved to keep doing it.
"Which one?"

"It's a toss up."

"Mine?"

Pursing her lips, Scully smiled again.  "I think
it was mine."

Their smiles broadened along with Mulder's heart.
"Let's toast," he suggested impulsively.  I'm
getting thristy."

Withouth giving it a second thought, they tried
braiding their arms.  Mid-try, they decided they
weren't the arm braiding type; it was a
conclusion mutually reached.  Scully's laughter
was full-bodied which she hoped would mask the
sudden awkwardness she felt.  Mulder clinked her
tumbler with his and gulped lustily.

"You're an instinctively wise woman, Scully."

She peered over at him with her lips clinging
to the lip of her tumbler.  As she lowered it
from her mouth some, she inquired, "What brought
that on?"  The last time she checked, he had
acted as though it was mandatory that he spell
everything out for her.

"Ambiance.  Your own special brand..."  His eyes
weren't looking as sure of themselves as they
had been a moment ago, but this was no time to
back away from what they should have done long
before this.  "You said we'd talk.  I'm ready...
if you are."  

Nodding, she stopped tracing the edge of the
tumbler with her index finger.  "I am, but I'd
be just as content to have you finish eating
first.  And I brought dessert too."

"Dessert?  I only saw the Chinese.  How did you
manage to smuggle dessert in?"

"Under my jacket," Scully said, a smattering of
cajolery in her voice.  "And when you weren't
looking, I stuck it in the freezer.  You were
too busy sniffing around the containers."

"Stuck what?" Mulder rejoined, noting the twinkle
in her eyes and the sudden increased beating of
his heart.

"Tutti-frutti spumoni."

Mulder did a double take.  "No doubt about it...you
definitely know what I like, Scully," Mulder said
gleefully, shooting to his feet with intention to
raid the fridge written on his face.  "I'll get
dessert!"

"Be my guest..."



`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.

About an hour later, with the food gone, and the
wine nearly all drunk, Scully lounged tranquilly
on the couch with eyes closed.  It might have
looked as though she was dozing, but she wasn't.
She was thinking warm, comfortable thoughts
that had Mulder as their core.  If he wanted to
talk, fine; she would hear him out, and if she
deemed it necessary, she would say things he'd
heard before.  She hadn't felt this content in
too long a time.  She had begun to doubt whether
it was possible to feel such contentment owing
to the rigors these past years had put them
through.  They'd been years with a history all
their own.

Mulder emerged from the bathroom and the sight
of her languid pose captivated him for several
appreciative moments.  How many times had he
imagined her there, just like that?  "Scully,"
he finally whispered, his voice mellow and
deep like an ocean passing through twilight.
"This was so nice of you," he persisted in
just the same way.  "Scul...Da?

She opened her eyes, looking sweet as though
she were the beholder of special dreams.
Smiling, she regarded him.  He got the feeling
that if she spoke the mood would be broken.
But when she did, the rapport between them was
delicately enhanced.  "You didn't have to shave."

"Yeah, I did," he replied, dismissing her
powers of observation with several sharp shakes
of his head.  He seated himself at an angle by
her hip, facing her.  "You're welcome to camp
out right here if you like.  Only we swap.  You
take the bed.  What I'm really saying is I don't
want you to go.  We've been apart too long, and
it's all because of my stupidity."

Blinking, Scully took her time before answering,
and when she did, she extended her hand to his
face as though wanting to brush her fingers
against his cheek.  "Maybe we should act on the
suggestion you made before..."

"You want to talk?"

"I'm ready to talk about what happened, Mulder."
She sat up, although taking her time about it
under the watchful eyes of her partner who
came out of his reverie to help her.  "I think
I can handle it," she told him, accepting his
unassuming assistance.

"Sorry."

"I meant the subject."

"Oh, yeah...the *subject*," he remarked, hoping
he hadn't sounded as though he was humoring. 
"I wouldn't have blamed you if you never wanted
to see me again...got as far away from me as you
could, like I once told you you should.  I don't
know what came over me, and by saying that, I'm not
excusing myself."  He judged it wiser if he wasn't
sitting practically on top of her, but when she
stopped him from easing away, he halted his retreat.
"Trust me, Scully, I didn't forget to bring that
extra sleeping bag on purpose.  I swear.  And then
what happened next..."  He was forced to look away
from her by what he saw in her eyes.  Visibly
shaken, he swallowed hard again.  He hung his
head down.  "I do know what came over me, Scully."
His eyes were irresistably drawn to hers again.
"Incredible selfishness."

"It's all right, Mulder.  You've been under a lot
of pressure for such a long--"

"No, it's not.  There's no excusing what I nearly
did.  What makes me any different from some loser
waiting in an alley for his next victim, huh?  Like
I said not too long after all the drek hit the fan,
I *do* know better."  His sigh was purposedly long.
"I totally lost it, lying so close to you in that
sleeping bag, freezing our asses off in the bed
of that rented van under the frigid Alaskan stars.
Feeling your lovely, warm body pressed against mine
in a similar state of undress, the way we were...I
so lost it, and in the heat of the one-sided moment,
I didn't care.  I was running on pure libido.  You
felt so good, I got so turned on.  One of Frohike's
more vivid videos popped into my sordid mind.  Again,
no excuse for turning into a cheap imitation of any
and all of the anomalies they order us to apprehend,
fleshly or otherwise.  I never meant to hurt you,
Scully, you know I *never* could.  I'd rather be
abducted than have it come to that.  And you're right.
I *have* been hiding out.  Hiding from you--hiding
from the confusion and hurt I put in your eyes.
I'm miserable because I've destroyed what's taken
years to build, protect and works so well.  The
relationship that's been our refuge, our haven.  I'm
so sorry I scared you...I can't say it enough...
trying to force...you..."  There were tears in his
eyes and his voice was raw, racked by remorse.
 
"FBI defense training serves its purpose at some
very bizarre times," Scully admitted, making sure 
that the dryness of her tone was not overbearing.
She took one of his hands in both of hers.  "We'll
get throught this, trust *me*."

"You've been schooled well, and I've got the black
and blue marks that are now just starting to fade
to prove it."  He gave the hand that was clutching
his the firmest, a small squeeze."

"You didn't hurt me.  Stunned me, well, yes.
Utterly, but not hurt.  Never hurt, Mulder."

"Scully..."

They didn't speak a word although the duration
lasted just long enough without being overdone.

"Scully?"

"Yes, Mulder?"

"Stay?"

She nodded, and that night was the first of many
they would spend together, sharing the couch,
their souls, and whatever else the other needed.



END