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  This author's e-mail address has changed to: xanaduxf@yahoo.com
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***DISCLAIMER***: All "X-Files" elements and references
in this story belong to Fox Broadcasting, Chris Carter,
and 1013 Productions, and I am making no money from it.

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Danger, Without and Within
by shannono
shannono@iname.com


Vignette, Scully angst, Mulder/Scully UST

Rated PG

Spoilers through "Detour"

Summary: Scully's thoughts as she guards an injured Mulder in the
Florida woods.

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Danger, Without and Within
by shannono


Dana Scully's eyes darted around the small clearing again and again,
searching for but not finding the danger she felt so near. Rationally,
she knew the forest threatened with wild animals on the hunt, but her
intuition warned of a greater, unclassified danger. For one of the few
times in her life, she trusted that feeling. After what she had seen,
how could she not?

She looked down and felt her breath catch again at the sight of the
injured man curled up with his head in her lap. Her partner and best
friend, Fox Mulder, had fought the creature -- or one of the
creatures -- inhabiting these woods, leaving Scully to nurse his
wounds and protect him through the night.

Scully half-smiled as she lifted her head and continued her watch.
Despite their precarious situation, she rather enjoyed the idea of
protecting Mulder, of being the strong one. It had happened before,
of course; they had been through so many threats together during
the past few years. But somehow it always seems to be Mulder
coming to her rescue when she needed him, the only exception
being Duane Barry -- a failure Mulder never seemed to be able
to forgive himself for, though Scully had never held him responsible.

Sure, Scully had gotten some chances to rescue Mulder. She'd
covered him in plenty of confrontations; shot various people (and
creatures) off his back; even saved him from himself, more than
once. But what she had done seemed insigificant; it was all part of
her job. What he had done for her seemed to go much deeper.

Scully sighed as she shifted her position slightly, wrapping her arm
more securely around Mulder. Yes, this was definitely a feeling she
enjoyed immensely, although her joy was somewhat hollow. She
loved Mulder with her whole being; she had long ago admitted that
to herself. But the danger of admitting it to anyone else, much less
Mulder himself, held her tongue -- and her heart. Her intuition told
her he loved her, too, but her rational nature wouldn't yet let her
trust that feeling.

Scully's mind drifted back to a conversation she had with her
sister not long before her death. Scully had shown Missy the
computer chip just removed from the back of her neck, telling
her she had no memory of it being put there. Missy had
encouraged her to try hypnosis to regain those memories, then
told her, "You've lost touch with your intuition."

Scully's eyes softened as she remember her sister's belief in
all things spiritual, a polar opposite from Scully's own scientific
approach to life. But in that case, at least, Missy had been right.
While the hypnosis did little to restore Scully's memory, it did
open her to the message Mulder sent, in a dream, telling her
he was alive and warning her she was in danger.

Scully glanced down at the sleeping Mulder, then returned to
her vigil and her thoughts. Yes, she and her partner shared
a bond that went beyond work or even friendship. The question
was, just how far did it go?

It was possible, Scully knew, to love someone without being
in love with them. Even her rational mind had accepted that
she loved Mulder and thought he must love her, because they
exhibited all the classic signs: trying to learn everything about
one another, wanting to spend more and more time together,
putting the other's welfare above their own.

But being "in love"? That was a leap of faith going beyond
the rational, and Scully wasn't sure she was ready for that.
Heck, Mulder the Believer wasn't even ready to take that leap,
or he would have done it by now. Hadn't she taken a step earlier
today, showing up in his hotel room with a tray of wine and cheese?
Mulder was surprised, pleasantly, by her breach of protocol, that
much was certain. But he couldn't seem to warm to the
possibilities the situation presented. Instead, he cracked jokes to
lighten the atmosphere, then shot out of the room on a pretense
of the case.

Another soft sigh escaped Scully's lips. The case -- that would
always be the wall, she thought. For they were first and foremost
FBI agents in search of the truth, and that search still came first.
Scully and Mulder could love each other, but any move to act on
those feelings would threaten the search, their careers, even
their lives. And neither of them was ready for that risk, she knew.

She looked at Mulder again, then froze as he shifted in his fitful
sleep. He settled back down, then let out a sigh, followed by one
unmistakable word: "Dana ..."

Scully's jaw dropped in shock -- not just that he would say her name
in his sleep, but that he would use her *first* name. She was seized
with a sudden, burning desire to know exactly what he was dreaming,
but she fought the urge to wake him and ask. Not that he would tell
her, anyway, but even if he did, this was not the time or place.

Scully took several deep, calming breaths as her pounding heart
slowed back to a relatively normal pace, then resumed her
surveillance of the surrounding woods. Not now, she thought.
But soon ...