From: "Jenna Murphy" Date: Mon, 21 Sep 1998 12:42:19 PDT Subject: New Story 'Dark before the dawn' The dark before the dawn. By Jenna Murphy(jenna_murphy@hotmail.com) Rating PG Keywords Mulder/Scully Romance. Scully Angst. Spoilers Redux Disclaimer These characters do not belong to me yadda yadda yadda?????. Summary During the first case after the events of Redux Mulder goes missing. Author's Note This is my first piece of fanfic so please don't be too critical. I would love some feedback. (jenna_murphy@hotmail.com) The Royal Baron Motel, Oregon May 7th. 10.13pm Mulder sat on the bed a bag on sunflower seeds beside him. He looked over at Scully who was typing away on her laptop at the desk in the corner of the room. The light from the screen was catching her hair, making it sparkle. She paused and bit her lower lip. Mulder smiled, she always did that when she was thinking. It was wonderful to have her healthy again. Not fearing that at any moment she might collapse. And so he took pleasure in watching her work as she always had done. Finally feeling as though things were returning to normal. "Our flight back to D.C. is at nine-thirty tomorrow morning, Scully." He said crunching on a seed. "Was it really worth coming out here Mulder?" She asked pausing in her work and turning towards him. "You knew this wasn't an X-file before we left didn't you?" "What do you mean?" He asked in a tone he hoped was innocent. Scully let out a heavy sigh and took her glasses off, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Mulder, I appreciate your concern for my health, but I'm in remission." She smiled "I'm being checked regularly and everything is fine. You don't need to protect me. We can get back to work. Proper work." Mulder returned her smile softly and nodded. He looked as though he might say something but thought better of it. "I should let you get some sleep," he said "Good night Scully" "Goodnight Mulder, "He knew that he was worried about her. That seeing her so close to death had terrified him. But she needed to move on with her life. She wasn't the sort of person that could sit around and be looked after. She turned to her computer screen. She was fed up of reports. She saved the file and closed it. She hesitated before opening her diary file. May 7th Today was a pretty ordinary day. I am getting back into the swing of things at last. Mulder is still very protective of me and I can understand that even if it gets irritating. He almost lost me and I know that the past few weeks have been very tough on him. But they have also been tough on me, What I could use now is some normalcy, or as close as I can get to normalcy from the X-Files. I guess I want to feel as though everything is alright. I want to forget about the pain and fear which has been enveloping me and look to the future. ********* May 8th. 6.00am The alarm sounded and Scully sat up quickly, throwing out her hand to silence the piercing wail. They had better make sure they left before seven if they were going to make their flight she thought. She pulled herself to her feet and walked slowly to the bathroom. She needed a good shower to wake her up. She had not been sleeping properly since she had returned home from the hospital. She had a lot on her mind. It wasn't until she was drying her hair that it occurred to her that Mulder was probably still asleep. She pulled on her robe hastily and went across the hall to Mulder's room. She tapped lightly on the door. There was no response and it was only then that she realised the door was ajar. She turned and went back to her own room to fetch her gun. Silently cursing Mulder for instilling such paranoia in her. She crept into the quiet room, pushing the door gently open. "Mulder?" She called but there was no reply. She stepped around the edge of the wall and swept her gun around the room. She sighed. It was empty. She sat heavily on the bed. He was probably out for a run. There was no need to worry. She surveyed the room. It was characteristically messy. The complete opposite of her immaculate and organised space across the hall. She marvelled at his ability to create such disarray in just a day. The bed did not look slept in. This did not surprise her. She doubted Mulder had ever had a good night's sleep. Since his sister had gone away. She wished that something she could say or do would stop the nightmares. But she could not. All she could do was make sure he knew that she was there if he needed her. She stood and headed towards her room. Glancing at the clock she noticed that time was ticking by. If they were going to make their flight Mulder had better hurry up. ******** May 8th. 7.02am Scully tried Mulder's cellular for what seemed the thousandth time. It rang and rang but there was no reply, she hung up. Frustrated. Where the hell was he? She couldn't for the life of her think where he might be. They had had no real case out here that would warrant his attention. He didn't know anyone out here as far as she knew. Mulder had ditched her in the past. She was prepared to accept that. But she was certain that he hadn't done that now. She had been back at work only a few days, the experience of her brush with death had affected both of them deeply. He would not have left her now, not without a note or a message. She trusted him enough to know that. Unfortunately after eliminating all these options, only one remained. Trouble. Mulder was in trouble. Scully started to worry. She called the local hospitals, using her badge number to discover that no one matching his description had been admitted. She called the local P.D. - Nothing. She asked at the motel reception and walked round the block. Still there was no sign of her partner, ********* May 8th. 1.24pm Following her medical judgement, Scully tried to eat something but she couldn't. She was beginning to lose her initial panic and dread was setting in. Her mind was full of 'What ifs'. She couldn't bear the thought of him.......Not so soon after her life had been spared. She had gone into full FBI mode at around 11am. She had reported him as a possible kidnap victim and enlisted the local FBI office to keep an eye open. She had checked on all hospital admissions, including John Does and questioned half the block. All she had discovered was that her and Mulder had been seen leaving the restaurant at about 9pm the previous evening. A porter had seen them both enter Scully's room. After that the only person to see Mulder was Scully herself. No one had seen at all that morning and no calls had been placed to or from his room for the entire stay. At around noon she had called his cell phone. Again. However instead of incessant ringing she had been informed by a recorded message that the number was 'unattainable' ********** May 9th 10am Scully paced the office, muttering to herself. There had been no news at all. She had not slept and had been looking over all of the, albeit brief, case notes they had made. She could find no reason for anyone to be after Mulder. Her mind screamed that she knew very well that plenty of people were out to get Mulder. People who lived in shadows and eluded Justice. But she would not listen to those thoughts. If the consortium had finally decided that Mulder was too big a problem. What could she do about it? "Agent Scully!" A young woman called from an adjacent office. "AD Skinner is on line 4" Scully turned and picked up the receiver. "Scully," She answered her tone missing its usual brightness. "Agent Scully, I am sorry to hear about Agent Mulder. I assure you that the bureau will do everything......" Skinner began "Sir, we need to undertake a search immediately, every moment we wait could be vital" Scully interrupted impatiently "Agent Scully, do you have any idea where..." Skinner questioned "Sir, all I know was that he wasn't in his room when I woke up this morning." "But without any leads how can a search do any good?" He asked sceptically. "Sir, we have no other option, I refuse to take the risk that Agent Mulder may be hurt." Scully tried to maintain a professional tone, but she knew Skinner was no fool, he could tell she was worried. "Scully, you are not acting rationally, If we are to find Agent Mulder...." Skinner ventured hesitantly. He knew that 'Mulder in danger' was the one topic Scully was unable to approach rationally. "Sir, we must..." "I understand what you are saying, you have two days if you find nothing we will take a more structured look at this situation" "Thank- you Sir" Scully set the receiver down. Skinner was right she was acting irrationally, but when it came to Mulder that often happened. She was fiercely protective and loyal about her partner. His well being was so very important to her and she knew, especially due to his actions while she was in hospital, that he felt the same. ********** Oregon FBI Field Office. May 9th. 10.30am "We aim to canvass as large an area as possible today, Agent Scully, but he could be anywhere can't you give us anything to go on?" "No "Scully said simply "Come one we're wasting time" She swept out of the room, determination flashing in her eyes. The other agents saw this as a futile gesture. A search of the city was not going to accomplish anything. They needed something to go on. But, despite her best efforts Scully had uncovered nothing. And so the group of field agents faced the daunting task ahead of them with pessimism. But no one dared air this view with Scully in the vicinity. They had more sense than that. ********* May 12th. 7pm Agent Mark Lewis shifted from one foot to the other and looked anxiously over at the redheaded agent sat at the desk on the other side of the room. She was a very beautiful woman, and he had been surprised to hear the opinions of her from fellow officers who knew her in D.C. Cold and distant seem to be the outsiders view of her. However what he saw of this woman was very different. He had never seen anyone so determined and passionate about a case, she was obviously deeply attached to her partner. And that made what Mark had to say to her all the more difficult. The search had been as futile an activity as expected and the Oregon Bureau could quite simply no longer spare such manpower. They had to reduce the search drastically if not stop it altogether. And he was the unlucky man who got to tell Dr. Scully. "Agent Scully," He said tentatively. She looked up the worry evident in her eyes, which was emphasised by the dark shadows beneath them; she had clearly not been sleeping. Mark found himself wishing irrationally that were some magic he could perform to make everything all right for the woman before him, with dazzling blue eyes that held no sparkle. "Is something the matter?" Scully asked. " I'm afraid I am the bearer of bad news. We are going to have to??.." "Scale down the search, I know" Scully interrupted wearily. "If it were up to me," Mark began " Agent Lewis, don't worry I don't blame you. I knew that the bureau would only support me for so long." "There is no need to give up hope. There are still plenty more avenues to try. The search is proving useless. Maybe it is better that you try and take a more investigative approach." "The bureau won't allow me to pursue this case indefinitely. " She paused looking at the smiling face of the young agent. "But I won't give up hope." *********** Scully's apartment. May 18th 10.13pm Scully sat alone in her apartment trying to make sense of the past ten days. She wasn't having much luck. It was difficult enough to keep functioning every thing she did was greeted by a wave of emotions from within her. She turned on her computer and opened her diary. May 18th The past ten days have been the worst of my life. Mulder is gone and no one seems prepared to stand with me to get him back. Am I the only one who truly cares? Mulder is my best friend and it seems I am only now appreciating just how big a part of my life he is. Without him I am alone. Mulder never spoke of the time when I was missing. But when it was brought up he would get a strange look in his eye, something I could not identify. I used to be hurt that he would not share it with me but now I see that the pain was simply too deep. I know how that pain feels now and I am in awe of Mulder for concealing it. I have only just recovered from a disease I believed would kill me. I have been given a second chance at life. But without Mulder I'm not sure I want it. A.D. Skinner's Office May 19th 9am It had been eleven days since Mulder's disappearance and Scully had gotten nowhere. She had hardly slept or eaten she had been so worried. She simply could not bear the thought that he was lost forever, or that they would only ever recover a body. She felt lonely and cold. She hadn't realised just how much she cared for Mulder until now when she was face the possibility of never being able to tell him. Scully walked slightly unsteadily into A.D. Skinner's office. She sat down slowly. "Agent Scully, I am sorry but I am forced to withdraw bureau manpower in the search for Agent Mulder. We simply don't have the resources." " I understand sir" Scully began her voice slightly shaky. "But I would like to request a leave of absence at this time" "Scully, the police are on the case" "Sir, I cannot face work at the moment. I need to be sure I have done everything I can to find Mulder before I give up. Please sir, all I am asking is a month." "Very well, But if after a month you haven't found anything you are back on active duty." Scully's apartment. May 23rd 10.00pm To:dscully@fbi.gov From:---------- Subject: Agent Mulder. Dr. Scully, I would advise you to discontinue your investigations in to the disappearance of Agent Mulder. Your efforts are in vain. A friend. Scully stared at the screen. She couldn't believe it. She was in no doubt over who this was from. Mulder had told her all about Marita Covarrubias. Although Mulder seemed to trust her Scully was not convinced. As with all those who had offered help, she only seemed to want to help the X-files when it would help her. She was furious that this woman obviously knew something about where Mulder was and yet she was not telling her. Well, she intended to do something about that. ********* Marita Covarrubias' Residence May 23rd. 10.30pm Scully tapped lightly at the door and after a few minutes the door opened slightly. "Ms. Covarrubias?" Scully asked "Dr. Scully! What are you doing here?" "I came to find out exactly what you know about where Mulder is" Scully tried not to shout. "I am sorry but I can tell you nothing" She started to shut the door. But Scully slammed her foot to stop her. "I think you can." she replied pushing herself inside. She crossed the room and turned to face the blond haired woman accusingly. "Why did you send me that e-mail?" Scully demanded "I thought it was right to tell you that your search is in vain." she paused "How did you know where to find me?" She added softly "Mulder doesn't keep secrets from me Ms. Covarrubias" Scully replied somewhat smugly. "I wouldn't be so sure about that." The woman said almost under her breath. "What is that supposed to mean?" Scully's face was growing redder by the minute. "Just that there are things you do not know about your partner." "Ms. Covarrubias, I don't like that insinuation and I don't like being kept in the dark. I know that you know where he is and I am not leaving until I do too." Scully sat down determinedly. Marita sighed. "Very well. Did agent Mulder tell you that the consortium approached him while you were in hospital?" "Yes. Of course" Scully returned turning to face the woman as she sat beside her. "What exactly did he tell you?" "That he was asked to make a deal. To go and work for them. And that he told them no." "Well I am afraid he lied to you. Agent Mulder was approached and asked to join the consortium. But he did not turn them down Scully. He accepted the deal" "That's not true" Scully said her voice slightly shaky. "I am sorry to say that it is. I feel disappointed too. Agent Scully. I expected more from him. But he has lost a lot and I think he thought the only way to stop that happening again was to work for them." "I don't believe you. I won't give up. I won't stop looking for him!" "Scully, you will have to give up eventually why not now? Mulder has become a man of the shadows. He no longer has a name, and identity, a past.... or a future. You will never see Agent Mulder again, Dr. Scully." Scully's apartment. June 18th. 10.30am Scully switched on her computer. The e-mail icon was highlighted. She clicked on it. She had three bits of mail. Two were routine bureau memo but the other caught her eye. It was from A.D. Skinner. She opened it. To: dscully@fbi.gov From:wskinner@fbi.gov Subject: Meeting. Agent Scully, Would you please come to my office tomorrow at 9am there is something that I wish to discuss with you. A.D. W. Skinner. Scully stared at the screen. Numb. She knew what he 'wished to discuss' Her return to work. Her time was up and Mulder was still missing. She didn't know if she could face work. Working alone now that Mulder was gone. Although she doubted Skinner would keep the x-files open. He would probably transfer her back to Quantico. In a way she was glad for that. She didn't want to go back to that building, the basement. It reminded her so much of Mulder. But then everything reminded her of Mulder. She found herself longing to hear his voice every time she answered the phone, to feel his hand on the small of her back, that guiding touch of strength and support. She missed him so much. What Marita Covarrubias had told her, upset Scully but she remained adamant in her belief that Mulder would not betray her. And that even if the impossible had happened and he had accepted Cancerman's deal, there was no way he would have left her without an explanation or at least a goodbye. She knew that Mulder knew how much him leaving would hurt her and she trusted him never to intentionally hurt her. She knew Mulder was being held somewhere against his will. For the one thing she was certain of, if nothing else in the world, was that if he possibly could Mulder would have contacted her to at least let her know he was all right. Even if he planned never to return. **** A.D. Skinner's office June 20th 9am "Agent Scully, please sit down" Skinner's eyes looked sad. "Sir" Scully nodded in his direction sitting down. Her long and tireless search was easy to detect. She didn't sit up straight and confidently as she usually did. , but rather sat low in her chair. While she was dressed smartly, as always, the lines of worry were evident and the dark rings around her eyes betrayed her lack of sleep. Her face was pale and her overall demeanour was one of sadness and despair. "I don't wish to be insensitive Agent Scully, but we need you to return to work. I am truly sorry about the loss of Agent Mulder..." "He is not dead" Scully interrupted "How can you be so sure?" He asked quietly. " I just know" Scully replied simply. "Nevertheless," Skinner continued after a pause "We need you back, I am unwilling to terminate the X-Files. So I have decided to assign you a new partner" ******* Margaret Scully's house June 20th 7pm "Oh mom I can't believe it, everyone is acting as though Mulder was never here." Scully was on the verge of tears. "I know it is hard honey." Her mother said softly. "A new partner? I don't think I can handle that. Going back to work with someone else feels like I am betraying him mom." "Fox wouldn't want you to sit around weeping Dana, I am sure he would want you to get back to work. To continue his work. Your work." She touched her daughter's hand. "But what is he needs me mom? What if he is waiting for me to help him? " "Dana, you have bee searching for weeks. You have done everything you can." "I know but I can't help feeling like to go back to work is giving up. " She shook her head sadly. "When you were missing," her mother's voice was shaky " Fox returned to work. He may not have spent every moment searching for you but he didn't give up. He realised, with a little help from me, that sitting around feeling sorry for himself wasn't helping you, but that working was doing something. He was working for things you believed in and in that small way he was helping you. You know how important the X-files are to Fox, Dana. If you are continuing his work you are helping him. It doesn't mean you have to give up hope" "I know Mom. Thanks. It is just I miss him so much" "I know Dana, But there comes a time when you have to realise you have done all you can. Maybe going back to work will help you get back on track. I don't want you to take this the wrong way but I think maybe it is time you moved on." The Basement of J. Edgar Hoover Building June 21st 9.30am Scully sat at Mulder's desk. Looking around the office with a small smile of sadness. Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. "Come in " she called. A man entered. He was average height and build; he was older than Scully, with slightly greying hair. "Agent Dana Scully?" He asked. "Yes" Scully replied. "I am Michael Yorke. I have been assigned to work down here" he said traces of disgust clearly evident in his voice. "Well, pleased to meet you" Scully said icily, extending her hand trying not to show how angry his tone was making her. "So, what exactly am I going to be doing down here?" he turned to look around the room. Surveying the stacks of papers and the pictures tacked to the walls. "The X-files document cases containing unexplained phenomena. We investigate these cases." She tried to smile. "So, we chase aliens huh?" he said. Scully nearly hit him. She was furious. When she had first been assigned to Mulder she had been highly sceptical of the validity of the work. But she had not been prejudiced and determined to find fault, as this man seemed to be. She had let Mulder prove to her that the work was important. She smiled slightly remembering their discussion the first time they met. 'Do you believe in the existence of extraterrestrials?.....Logically I would have to say no.....' The memory dissipated her anger slightly. She picked up a file and handed it to Michael. She was trying, at least, to move on. It was tearing her apart. Scully's apartment. June 30th 9pm Scully cried. She had not cried since Mulder's disappearance over two months previously. The feeling had been too deep for tears. But now everything was getting too much for her. Her new partner was the most chauvinistic, condescending imbecile she had ever met. He was the exact opposite of the warm, funny, caring partner she missed so deeply. He had a major problem with a woman having a position of equality with him. Something which had never bothered Mulder. He picked at everything Scully said or did. He called her Dana. At first she had nearly called him on it. But then she reconsidered. Over the years many people had asked her why Mulder always called her Scully, just as she never called him Fox, even though they were so close. She couldn't quite explain it. It was almost as if surnames were more intimate, something special between them. When she considered that she decided she preferred that her new partner called her by her forename. She did not want Michael Yorke calling her Scully. Work had always been a happy place. Stressful and worrying sometimes. But it had always been something she enjoyed. Now it had become a chore. She dreaded the office. She would walk into the building and see people notice her and turn to whisper about how she 'used to work with spooky Mulder' and smile sympathetically in her direction. No one had approached her to say they were sorry about Mulder. No one expressed any feelings of loss for him. She wondered if it had been the same when she had been missing. She doubted it. She had never been very popular but at the same time never actively disliked or gossiped about as Mulder had been. She had always gotten angry when other agents teased Mulder or disregarded his opinions. They just didn't understand and like most people they couldn't deal with what they didn't understand. She was disappointed that she found no support at work. Ordinarily if she had had any sort of problem she would have talked to Mulder but........ The only person she could turn to was her mother. But as caring and kind as she was she was not Mulder. And there could never be anyone to fill the void he had left in her. She found herself turning to the faith she had regained when she had been in hospital. She prayed that she would hear something, anything just to let her know he was all right. But above all she longed to see him. To hear his voice, see his smile. She knew that was all that would make her feel whole again, all that would make her happy. One morning she had come into the office to find Michael packing away some of Mulder's stuff. He was about to take down his 'I want to believe' poster. Scully has gone mad, shouting at him. He had said he couldn't concentrate 'with all this crap' Scully had suggested he learn to. She herself had taken the poster down that evening and taken it home. It was now on her wall. She wasn't sure what had made her do that. Maybe it was because it reminded her of him. Not that she needed reminding. There were a million things in every place she spent time which were constant reminders of her partner. She kept meaning to pack things away put them out of sight. To stop torturing herself. But somehow she never quite got round to it. She had always been a sceptic but now she had become the believer. Michael questioning everything and her suggesting theories she would have laughed at Mulder for even mentioning. She felt as though she owed it to Mulder to say the things he would always have said and to be as open minded as he had always encouraged her to be. Whereas she had always at least listened to Mulder's bizarre theories, Michael would not. He said that if she 'even considered that shit she was crazier than he thought. Crazier than Spooky Mulder' When he had said that she had nearly slapped him. She had come to the conclusion that she needed a change. She no longer found solace in work and it held too many empty memories for her. She wiped her eyes and clicked on the print icon on her computer screen. The printer whirred and a few seconds later she lifted the document out. She read it thoughtfully. Dear A.D. Skinner, I no longer feel able to continue my duties to the FBI. I would be grateful if you would accept my resignation effective immediately. D.Scully Special Agent Dr. Dana Scully. She folded the piece of paper and placed it in an envelope. She stared at it, tears streaming down her face. She felt as though her life were falling apart. Her career, which had once meant so much to her now seemed irrelevant. The phone rang piercing her thoughts. "Hello" She answered her voice lifeless. "Dana Scully?" a woman asked "Yes. Who is this?" Scully replied curiously. "My name is Samantha Mulder" Ripley's Coffee House June 30th 9.30pm Scully sipped her coffee nervously, and watched the door intently. She had been knocked for six by the phonecall from Samantha. Mulder had told her of their meeting while she had been in hospital. She had felt so dreadfully sorry for him. After all this time, all of his searching he had found her. Only to have her leave again. He had not spoken at length of it but she had seen the pain in his eyes. And known how deeply it had affected him. Her thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of a woman. Scully recognised her instantly. The face identical to that of a woman she had seen fall from a bridge into icy waters, a woman she had seen dead. She had later learned that, that woman had not been Mulder's sister. Although her true identity was unclear, Mulder had always maintained she had been a clone. Scully was resistant to that theory. But she did not dismiss it out of hand. She had seen enough to know that her straightforward scientific view of the world could not always be relied upon. She suddenly was filled with paranoia, what is this woman was no more Samantha Mulder that the other woman had been? It didn't matter she told herself. Whomever this person was she might be able to help he find Mulder and that was all that mattered. "Dana Scully?" The woman ventured stepping towards her. "Samantha" Scully said gesturing for her to join her. Samantha sat opposite her. She ordered a coffee. "I am sure you are wondering why I wanted to see you," she said " Well, yes. " Scully answered. " To be honest I was surprised to hear from you. Mulder told me that he met with you. But I got the impression when you left you didn't want to have anymore to do with him." "I was scared then. I can't explain to you how it feels, to be reunited with a brother I haven't seen in so long. To be told he has searched for me for most of his life. I had a terrible time in my youth agent Scully, I have experienced things I can't bear to repeat. I am settled now, I have a family. Meeting Fox brought back a lot of memories that I had buried" "But you want to talk to me now?" Scully queried "When I heard about Fox I was upset. I..." she faltered. "I know things, Agent Scully, things I learned through my father. Things I swore I would never tell anyone. Yesterday I realised how selfish I was being. Fox has spent his life looking for me, sacrificing everything in pursuit of me. And I was just waiting around knowing I could help him. Well, I am not going to sit around any longer. I don't know how much of this will be of help but I hope it might make your search a little easier." "What do you know Samantha?" was all Scully said. ******** Offices of the Lone Gunmen July 1st 9am Scully stepped into the dark offices. Her mind drifting back to the first time Mulder had brought her here. 'She's hot!' She smiled lightly. These men were so like Mulder and so unlike her. Paranoid and suspicious. People who her father would have wholly disapproved of. But over the years she had been working with Mulder, she had become more and more like him. Although she thanked God she was still a long way off turning into the gunmen, Byers walked up to her. His face lined with sorrow. These men had been the only people other than her mother to offer her sympathy over Mulder's disappearance. She could tell they felt his loss aswell. She knew they would help her. They had to. She had no one else to turn to. "I need your help" Scully began "Mulder needs your help" "Of course" Byers said. He called Langley and Frohike from the other room. "Scully, needs our help" Byers told them "For the lovely Agent Scully, anything" Frohike said sweeping his hat off. Scully allowed herself a small smile. "I have received information telling me that Mulder may be being held in an lab complex just outside Virginia." "I've heard about that place, supposedly a private firm, Krisalis Pharmaceuticals but it has been receiving large sums of government money and there have been many sightings of US Troops out there." Langley said "It will be pretty difficult to get in, Agent Scully" Byers added. " I have got false IDs and level three clearance codes." she replied "But I'll need your help" "Where did you get........." Byers began "The past" Scully said softly and they left it at that. Krisalis Pharmaceuticals July 1st 11.30pm Scully drove the car slowly up the drive stopping at the checkpoint. She tried not to look nervous. Byers smiled at her from the passenger seat. She glanced at her ID for the hundredth time. Julia Goldman. She whispered the name to herself. "Can I see your ID please?" the guard asked. She handed him hers and Byers'. The guard seemed to study then intently. But handed them back and smiled. 'Thank -you" he said raising the barrier. She drove into the complex. Byers pulled out a walkie talkie from his jacket. "Langley, " he whispered into it. "Here" came the reply. "We're in. Can you direct us to the main entrance?" There was a pause as Langley and Frohike consulted the map. Scull has pointed out it would be much easier if they were to stay outside the compounded to help them. Her and Byers would look pretty conspicuous walking around with a map. Langley gave them directions and Scully parked the car. They approached the door and Scully pulled out her ID card. She swiped it. And watched the light nervously. It turned green. She tried not to look too relieved. They entered and walked around. Through corridor after corridor. Until eventually they found what they were looking for. A computer terminal. Byers set to work immediately. Scully tried to keep watch without looking as though she was keeping watch. This wasn't the first time she had trespassed onto government property, used fake IDs and assumed a new name. But it had never gotten easier. She felt very guilty. Even thought she knew when it came down to it she was much more in the right that those she was deceiving. "Scully," Byers whispered. And she spun round to face him. "What is it?" she asked. "I have found a file on Mulder. But all I can access is basic details anything crucial is protected above our level of clearance." "Dammit" Scully muttered " Wait a minute, I may be able to get through give me a few more minutes." he returned to the computer typing furiously. "Does that information you found indicate he is here?" Scully whispered "No, not really it is just a dossier really. Nothing confidential." he replied Scully sighed. Then suddenly the terminal began to beep. "What is it?" Scully asked forgetting to whisper "They had shut me out. Which means they know we're here. We have got to get out of her." Byers said. "They turned to run but were met but three very large soldiers. "Agent Scully, Please come with us." They demanded. ********* July 2nd 00.25am Scully was pushed through the doors and sat down in front of a desk. She looked up and saw a familiar face. It was the man from Mulder's father's funeral. She didn't speak. "Agent Scully," he said " So good to see you" "Cut the crap," she said quietly "Where is Mulder?" " Mr. Mulder is being very cooperative Agent Scully. He is proving a very valuable addition to our workforce" "I know Mulder is being held against his will" "Oh you do, do you?" he asked with an evil smile. "Listen, I may not have the sort of power you wield. But I will never give up. I would do everything in my limited power to ensure he is back where he belongs as soon as possible" "And just where does he belong?" The man asked "With me" Scully tried to maintain her composure. "Are you sure?" "Look just tell me what it is you want" Scully nearly screamed at him. "We have what we want agent Scully. Mulder's allegiance. Scully's apartment July 4th 11.30pm The apartment was dark. Scully sat on her couch staring out of the window to the stars. Through all of her experiences with Mulder she had shown little sign of joining in Mulder's theories of what secrets those stars held. But in that moment she allowed herself to think that it was possible that they were not alone. A firework exploded in the distance reminding Scully it was Independence Day. She thought of this same day last year. She and Mulder had out to the harbour to watch the fireworks together. Now she was sitting alone. Tears formed in her eyes as a series of bangs and colours filled the sky. When she had been a child, Independence Day had always been a very big occasion. Living on a naval base meant that there was no escaping patriotism. There had always been parades, and huge parties with great big fireworks displays. She remembered her father showing her a sparkler for the first time. Placing his hand over hers and guiding her as she weaved the glowing stick through the night. She had grown up believing in her country and its laws and government, yet now she had no faith in authority. She knew that the men responsible for the terrible things she had been witness to were above the law, beyond the reach of justice, at least in this life. On the arm of the chair lay Scully's gun. Out of its holster. Her hand rested on it. The silence was perfect, but out of place. It was a city apartment, yet Scully could not hear the hum of traffic outside, nor see the gentle glow of the street lights. Her world was dark. She had not gone to work in the three days since her trip to Krysalis Pharmaceuticals. She did not want to face the repercussions of her resignation just yet. She called in sick. Which wasn't that much of a lie, she felt physically sick when she thought that her life might remain this way indefinitely. Always wondering if he was alive, if he needed her. She couldn't live like that. The hope she had held of finding him was gone. Her efforts had been in vain just as Marita Covarrubias had said they would be. Nothing she had done in the past two months had made any difference. She was no closer to finding Mulder than she had been when she had first realised he was gone. In fact she was further away. She knew he hadn't made the deal that everyone seemed to believe he had. Even the gunmen had not seemed totally convinced. But for Mulder to do that he would be betraying her, and the truth and Samantha. She knew he wouldn't do that. That was what made her think maybe he was....dead. She could think of no reason why they wouldn't kill him. She felt it was time to admit she wouldn't see him again. She couldn't, wouldn't live without him. Scully raised the gun to her head. She whispered a prayer that she might meet Mulder again. And..... The phone rang. "Yes," she answered her voice lifeless and sad. "Agent Scully, this is A.D. Skinner. I have received your letter of resignation and I wish to discuss it with you. " "Sir I..." Scully began "Please agent Scully let me speak to you before you make any decisions you might regret." Something in the older man's tone made Scully want to listen. Secretly she hoped he would provide a magic solution to all her problems. "I don't wish continue working" Scully said "Scully, please just come in to see me tomorrow morning. At least let me hear your reasons in person. "Very well" Scully complied putting the phone down. She looked at the gun still clutched in her hand and placed in back on the arm of her chair. She turned her attention back to the fireworks, and the stars. A.D. Skinner's office July 5th 9am "Sir, " Scully was trying not to get angry. "I have made my decision. I simply can no longer continue to work here. It isn't where I belong anymore," "Scully without you I will be forced to terminate the X-files. Your work will be lost" "Sir, I have already lost everything" Her voice wavered. "Work will not change that" "But agent Scully,..." Skinner attempted She looked at Skinner, her gaze steady and concentrated on not letting herself cry. She was surprised to see the depth of sympathy and compassion that lay in his eyes. Not many people understood how much Mulder's loss affected her. But this man did. Somehow she thought that there must be a side to Walter Skinner she would never understand. Often it had been him who had placed obstacles in her and Mulder's path. But he always seemed to come through for them in the end. She sighed inwardly at another memory of Mulder. There was no escape. "Sir, I appreciate your concern but I cannot be here and do this without Mulder. It is time I realised that he isn't a part of my life anymore. And I think I will have more luck moving on, away from this place and its memories." She stood and walked slowly out of the room. She wandered through the corridors not really sure where she was going. She looked up the basement door without remembering how she had gotten there. She walked in thankful that Yorke wasn't in. She sat in Mulder's chair and looked around at the remnants of his life's devotion. She began to weep softly. At the loss of a life which had touched hers so profoundly. And the fact that she seemed the only person who was left to mourn him. That the piles of paper and photos contained in this office represented all of his life. She heard the door and sat up. Trying to hide her tears from Yorke. But she looked up to see the person entering was not Yorke. "Dr. Scully" The woman said. "Ms. Covarrubias" Scully said curtly. "I came here to try and persuade you to retract your resignation." "I don't see how that is any business of yours" "Scully, surely you understand the importance of the X-files. Without you they will be terminated." "So?" "I don't believe that you care that little" "The X-files died when Mulder disappeared. You know as well as I do that without him I can't even hope to find anything." "Scully, Mulder might return." The statement was short but full of implications. Scully looked up sharply. "What is that supposed to mean?" "I have lied to you. I know that Mulder did not accept Cancerman's deal. I know that he is being held against his will." "Why hasn't he been killed?" "The object was to try and make those few who he trusts abandon their trust and faith in him. They wanted to break you and he up. Together you are a threat. Apart you won't succeed." "I knew that Mulder would never betray me. What should your confirmation of this change for me?" Scully said argumentatively. "Nothing" the woman admitted. "But I cannot stress enough the importance of the X-files. By leaving you are giving them what they want." "Maybe then they will give me what I want in return" Scully whispered "No, Dr. Scully there is only one thing you could give them for Mulder's life" Her voice turned grave. Scully stood excitedly. "What? What is it?" "Scully, as a result of your abduction, your body contains enough forensic evidence to uncover the web of lies which surround what they did to you." "What are you saying?" "You are the only woman out of the group from Allentown that had survived. You are the only woman to have discovered the cure for the terminal disease they inflicted on you. You are the only piece of evidence left. And as important as Mulder is to their plan, maintaining the lie is more important. They want all of the evidence Dr. Scully, all you could offer as a trade for Mulder, would be yourself. " Mulder's apartment July 7th 10.13am Scully looked around Mulder's apartment. She could almost feel him. She hoped that soon he would be back here. Standing where she was now. But she also knew she would not be standing beside him. It had not taken long to make the decision to give herself up for him. She knew she would not be able to live with any other decision. Her life without Mulder was not something she treasured much anyway. She had taken these two days to prepare to leave on a journey from which she knew she would never return. She had faced death up close. Months ago in an ICU with Mulder and her family around her. She had been preparing for death for a while. She had never expected to live this long. Her remission had been a miracle. And now she must give up that miracle for Mulder. She had written a couple of long letters for her Mother, for Bill and for Skinner. In her hand she held a letter for Mulder which she had spent hours writing. She intended to leave it here for him to find after she was gone and he had returned. Even now she wondered whether she should reveal to him what she had. She read it again. Dear Mulder, I feel so dreadfully alone. Throughout the blackness, which has surrounded me in the last few awful months, I have always been able to use the light at the end of this dark, empty tunnel to guide me through this time. But now I have lost sight of the light, I have nothing to guide me any longer. At any other time I would turn to you. Yet, this truly must be my darkest hour as you are also beyond my reach. I have spent the last few months in desperate search of you. They all told me you had betrayed me, that you had accepted Cancerman's offer and left to live a life of deceit in the shadows, yet I never believed them, I know you and I know in my heart you would never forsake me. I have been offered the opportunity to save you. By trading myself, and the evidence, which my body contains of the lies, which have been perpetrated, I have secured your freedom. Please use it to expose the men who have destroyed us. In the last few years I have faced some desperate and dark times. Yet I have always pulled through them with you at my side. The gaping void left by your absence has affected me more profoundly than any other event in my life. It is time I admitted to myself, and to you, the depth of my feelings. You mean more to me than anything or anyone. My relationship with you is easily the most important thing in my life. Sitting here alone, without hope of ever seeing you again I have come to realise that I love you. That I have always loved you. You cannot imagine the pain I feel at knowing you will never hear that from my own lips. I can only be thankful that as you read this you know. I know you may be angry with me for trading myself for you. But you cannot deny that you would do the same. If I could have anything now, it would be a few moments with you before we are parted forever. Promise me you will never stop searching for the truth. All my love always, Scully Scully tried not to cry. She knew if she began she would never stop. She folded the paper. And placed it in an envelope, She wrote a single word 'Mulder' on the front, placed it on the table and left. Krisalis Pharmaceuticals July 7th 5pm Scully approached the checkpoint on foot. She had instructions from Marita Covarrubias to ask for a Dr. Rabian. She was assured everything would proceed from there. The guard looked questioningly at her. "Ma'am?" He asked "Can I help you?" "Yes. I would like to speak to Dr. Rabian. Tell him it is Dr. Scully." The minutes that followed seemed to last forever. Scully began to worry. Then she saw two MPs approach. They spoke briefly to the guard who pointed to Scully. They walked over to her. "Dr Scully?" They asked. "Yes." Scully replied "Please come with us." They led Scully into the complex and through a long maze of corridors. Finally she began to recognise her surroundings and she led into the office she had been in before. The men left and the man she had spoken to before entered. "Ah Agent Scully, what are you doing here? " "I know that that story about Mulder is a load of crap. I came here to tell you that I am prepared to make a trade for agent Mulder's freedom" "What could you possibly offer us?" He asked with a light laugh that infuriated Scully. "I can offer you evidence which confirms all of our beliefs about the heinous crimes committed by you against ordinary women who have been abducted" "What evidence is this Dr. Scully?" "Myself" "You would trade yourself, for agent Mulder?" "Yes" Scully, said defiantly "How very noble of you. It is a shame I must refuse." "Refuse?" "Agent Scully, we have other ideas for your future and the part you will play in our work," "I will do nothing...." "I am sure nothing you do that aids us will be for that purpose. But you must see that the reason we allowed the X-file to continue is that the work benefits us. Not all the time but sometimes" "If that is true why did you take Mulder?" "We hoped to break up your partnership. Mulder had become more dangerous with you at his side. Your backing lends credence to his allegations. But it would appear our efforts to split you up were in vain. " "Then return Mulder to me" Scully said pleadingly "Agent Mulder isn't here Dr. Scully." July 7th 10.13pm The room was cold and empty. She had not expected to return. Yet she felt no joy, only loss. She didn't believe that Mulder had been released from the lab complex that morning as she had been told. He would have contacted her. She didn't now what to believe anymore. The darkness was enveloping her once more. Suddenly the phone burst into life. She let it ring but caught it just before the answering machine cut in. "Hello?" She asked lifelessly "Dana?" A woman's voice asked "Yes. Who is this?" "It's Samantha. I....." She stumbled "Fox is here" Samantha Mulder's Residence July 7th 11.21pm Scully climbed out of the car and walked up the path. She was full of apprehension and hesitation, which she couldn't explain. She rang the bell. A few minutes later Samantha opened the door. "Hi" she said softly. "Hi, what happened? When did he get here? How is he?" The questions tumbled out. The emotion and strain clearly showing in Scully's demeanour. "Just before I rang you. He just turned up. He said he didn't know how he got here but that he needed to speak to you." "How did he know where to find you?" Scully asked "I don't know. But he is here now" She led Scully into the living room where Mulder was sat on the couch. When he saw Scully he stood and approached her catching her in an embrace. "Scully," he whispered. "Mulder, it is so good to see you" Scully tried to hold back the tears. "I don't remember anything. Anything at all. The last memory I can trace is talking to you in the motel in Oregon. And then I was here on the doorstep and Sam was opening the door." "Mulder it doesn't matter at the moment. We can talk about it later. What matters is you're o.k." ******* Mulder's apartment July 8th 00.13pm Mulder stood outside his apartment. Unlocking the door. "I'll leave you to get some rest. I'll come by again in the morning and we can talk then" Scully said. Mulder nodded. She turned to leave but he caught her in a hug. Eventually they parted and she walked away down the hall and into the lift. She watched Mulder until the lift doors obscured her view. She hadn't told him about the trade she had intended to make. And worst of all she hadn't told him about her feelings for him. Somehow it all seemed too much. She felt as though now everything was alright again, telling him was too risky. She had decided to keep what had happened in the last few days to herself. Mulder didn't need to know. It had been only hours ago that she thought she would never see him again. Now she had him back it seemed greedy to want more from him. She didn't need him to know she loved..... Her thoughts trailed out as she remembered what was waiting for Mulder in his apartment. The letter. She panicked hastily pressing the button for Mulder's floor. Maybe she could catch him before he read it. She banged on the door breathlessly. Ages passed, She knocked again. This time the door opened. Mulder stood holding the letter in his hand tears streaming down his face. "Mulder, I...." She began "You were going to trade yourself for me?" He asked "I...." she tried again "You were going to trade yourself for me." This time it was a statement not a question. "I...." Scully couldn't find the words she needed. "You love me?" He looked directly at her. She sighed no use denying it now. "Yes. Mulder. I love you." She said holding her chin up and the tears back. "Scully, what did I ever do to deserve the love of someone like you?" He asked. "Mulder, you have always been there for me. You are everything I need and I only realised that when I thought that I would have to do without you forever." She looked at him expectantly "I love you too. " Was all he said. Then he pulled her to him kissing her softly and then holding her in his arms. Scully felt as though she had come home. She felt safe, warm and loved for the first time in a long time. The darkness, which had surrounded her ever since that morning in Oregon, had been shattered by the arrival of a new dawn. THE END!!! I hope you liked it. Please let me know what you thought. (jenna_murphy@hotmail.com) ****** 'The truth is incontrovertible. Panic may resent it; ignorance may deride it; malice may distort it, but there it is' Sir Winston Churchill 'I've heard the truth, now what I want are the answers.' Scully Paperclip ******