From: Nicole Strötgen Date: Sat, 27 Mar 1999 17:09:55 +0100 Subject: NEW Dear Katie! Title: Dear Katie! Author: Katharina Classification: MSR, Babyfic, Characters' death Rating: PG Disclaimer: They are mine and C.C. stole them from me!.... err.... No! The other way round! Feedback: Yes, please!As you probably will realize English is not my usual language. Don't kill me for the mistakes. rogoall@t-online.de Author's note: You can do with this story, what ever you want to: adapt it for screen, nominate it for the Nobel prize in literature..., just let me know. Thanks: The whole misery started in a boring German lesson, so thanks Mrs. D.! Thanks to Nicole for beta-reading. ------------------------------------ Dear Katie! You weren't planned! No, absolutely not! It was enough we risked just by giving up to pretend to ourselves that we weren't more than just partners for each other. We would not have dreamed of giving them another thing to blackmail us. No, we actually really couldn't get up to you. But we were so sure, that it was impossible anyway, that you could be created, that we didn 't do anything to prevent you. I don't know if They found out about us one day and used one of Their mysterious abilities to make you possible, because They hoped, that would be a possibility to have us in Their grip then, or if you were just a miracle of the nature. I always wanted to believe in the second explanation, although the first was probably much more likely. Anyway it happened somehow, and although your Mom and I had no idea how and if we could handle everything that would come now, we didn't hesitate a second to look forward to you. Mom suggested to name you Samantha but I didn't always want to be reminded by you of my own messed up family, and finally I managed to get Katherine through, your Moms middlename. With Skinners help we managed on some half-official ways, that we could keep on working together, against all FBIrules, and there was nothing what I enjoyed more than that I could now take Moms hand, without having to pay attention that nobody was watching us. Of course the lunchtimegossip had its new maintopic, but the two of us didn't care about that. The following three years were probably the best in my whole life. When you couldn't sleep at night and came to crawl in our bed and "my two girls snuggled against me, I sometimes thought I would wake up the next moment and would be lying alone on my couch again. But that never happened. You learned to walk, like every other kid, and to talk - almost like every other kid. Your third word directly after "Mom" and "Dad" was "UFO" - on that day your Mom nearly shot me, but I was really proud of my little girl! When Mom and I had to work or had to go out of town (although we tried to reduce that on a minimum), your Grandma took care of you and if she was not available the Gunmen had to realize, that there are things that are not as spectacular as worldwide conspiracies but that nevertheless can keep you busy quite well! Mom always had the opinion, that Grandma had a much better sense of responsibility, and after I caught Frohike one day, when he tried to interview you about Moms favorite flowers (He just couldn't give up!), I usually agreed with her - although I always though if the Gunmen wouldn't be more likely able to protect you, if They really should try to do something to you. Thank God, something like that never happened, even though Mom and I were more successful with the X-Files than ever before. And finally we really succeeded in something, we had never honestly expected to happen: We were able to arrest Krycek and it could be proved enough against him to bring him to trial. After days of collecting evidence, doing interrogations and writing reports, we were ready that his lawyer could finally persuade him, that it would be the best for him if he would tell everything he knew. When we walked through the courthouse on the morning of the hearing, I had reached my goal! After all the things Krycek had told us, it was nearly sure, that we would finally get Them, that we would know enough, that I could end my search for ever! Krycek just had to testify his whole story in court and They would be at their end! I sat between the other witnesses with your Mom and waited for the trial to begin, while I was hoping that she wouldn't realize that I was watching her fingers. I had never asked her to marry me. I always had had the feeling, that you two would be all the more in danger, when the connection with me was even more official. I don't know why I thought that; everybody knew about us being a family anyway, but at least I had the feeling that I could do something to reduce the risk for Mom and you a little bit. But now that would not longer be necessary! When Krycek was brought in I had just decided, that my little finger would work to find the correct size, when I bought the ring for her this afternoon. So I was obviously thinking about something else and needed a little time to find back to reality, when I heard Moms shout "Watch out!" beside me. It all happened to fast. I heard the shot. I realized that Mom jumped up from her seat. I saw, how the bullet, that was aimed right on Kryceks head, hit her chest; and I was sure, that all of this did certainly not happen in reality, when she lay in my arms and managed to gasp that I should take care well for me and you - before the red stain on her blouse became bigger and bigger and she finally closed her eyes. I didn't realize the chaos that started around me. I didn't realize, how they busted Spender, who had tried to shoot Krycek, to safe his father's project. I didn't realize the paramedic's bored and uninterested voice, when he said "I'm sorry!". I just realized that this had to be a nightmare, that I would certainly wake up from soon. I didn't wake up. I spent four weeks on waiting, but I didn't wake up. I made my testimony against all the people that got caught after Krycek's story. I accepted all the honors I got for uncovering this conspiracy. I was a national hero, who had saved the United States, till the press found something new. If extraterrestrial powers were involved in that whole story could not be proved. But I'm interested in that as little as in the fact that my sister already died during her abduction. There is only one person, whose face I would have loved to see, when the prove for extraterrestrial life would have been found or with whom I would like to celebrate my sister' s return, but your Mom isn't here anymore. She knew, what she did, when she caught the bullet. She knew, that she most certainly wouldn't survive that. But she knew as well that all we had fought for, would be ruined, if Krycek couldn't talk anymore. She did it, to uncover the truth. I'm glad you are staying at your Grandma during this time, so that you are not here right now. And I'm glad to know, that she will take care of you. You probably won't remember Mom and me, when you are old enough to read this letter, but I think I owe you at least the try of an explanation, and I want you to know, that the decision wasn't easy, to leave you behind after you already lost your Mother, but I can't keep on living with the idea, that she did it just for me - just to make sure, that I would find my truth. Your Dad, Fox Mulder