From: miranda119@juno.com
Date: Tue, 8 Jan 2002 22:02:52 -0500
Subject: Dearest Dana...  by Miranda
Source: direct

Title:   Dearest Dana...
Author:  Miranda
Rating: G
Category: vignette
Summary:  Mulder's reply to Scully's message
Disclaimer:  Characters not mine.  Borrowed.
____________________________________________
Dearest Dana...

It was good to hear from you again.  It was so difficult,
seeing you standing there on that platform, thinking that
in seconds I would have you in my arms, then to keep going..  
it was almost more than I can bear.   There were things I 
was ready to tell you.  Things I must resign to compose in 
this e-mail message.

I know they are reading this.  I've done my best to cover 
my tracks but I must assume they are watching every minute.  

I've had a lot of time to think about our lives together, Dana.  
I have been wondering to myself lately -- about why in the 
world I didn't see you sooner the way I see you now.  I guess 
there are many reasons, and I want to share them with you.

First of all, I think I did know all along that I loved you.  I 
knew it every time I thought you were in danger, every time 
I saw a tear in your eye, and every time you did something 
for me.  I knew I had never felt about any woman the way 
I feel about you.  But I think that because of the circumstance 
we were in, because of the goals we were pursuing together, 
I thought that it would be a bad idea to give myself to you.  So 
I remained aloof.  I know that hurt you.  You never said a word 
about it, though.  You were so stoic. All along you wanted 
nothing more than a man to love you and settle down with you 
in safety and comfort, and "have a life" as you put it, and to have 
a family.  Following me took everything you were hoping for 
away from you.  Your love is so true, Dana.  I hope that one day 
soon I can still provide for you everything I took away.

The times I came the closest to grabbing hold of you were the 
times I thought I would lose you.  Every time they tried to separate 
us, when you were abducted, then returned to me near death, 
when the cancer threatened your life. But the night I ran into 
that cabin, and saw you laying there with William on your breast, 
and saw the sweat of your labor and the joyful tears running 
down your cheeks, and the worry about what he might be or 
who might try to take him, a light switched on inside of me.  
I could no longer see you as only my partner, my best friend,
my sole mate.  For those things I already knew as sure as I know 
the truth is out there.  But that night I was faced with the very 
real truth that my partner and best friend and sole mate was 
also a beautiful, passionate, and wonderful woman.  I don't think 
I had ever seen your femininity so clearly as I did that night.  
For you aren't just an FBI agent, Dana.  You're a woman.  You're 
a mother.  Have I ever told you how absolutely lovely you are?  
With your radiant red hair and clear blue eyes, and so much 
beyond that.  How your character just shines on your face.  
Your beautiful character of love and trust, and belief in all 
that is good and right.  And how even if the beauty on the outside 
were to fade, that beauty inside of you would glow so bright that 
no one would even notice.

So that's when I knew, Dana.  I knew I had to stop calling you 
Scully.  I knew I had to tell you the truth.  I knew I had to kiss 
you.  I knew I had to lay with you that night as you slept and 
drink in all that is Dana Katherine Scully. 

And when I can see you again, when I can breathe in your scent 
and put my arms around your form and press my lips to your 
forehead, I know I have to ask you to spend the rest of your 
life with me.  Because a woman as lovely and as good as you 
deserves an adoring husband, and upon our reunion it will be 
my first priority to make you my wife. I love you.

Hoping for the day I will see you again....  M.