From: laura herold <76021.3043@CompuServe.COM>
Subject: Death Smiled (1/1)
Date: 26 Jun 1997 00:54:32 GMT

The characters, etc, from The X-Files belong to the folks at Fox.
No infringement of rights is intended.

Basic info:
Rating: R
Classification: S(tory)
Spoilers: A few from late season 4
Summary: A version of the events that could transpire soon after 
what occurred in Gesthemane, the season 4 finale.

Death Smiled
by Laura Herold

A Virginia cemetery
2:36 pm, Saturday	

	Dressed in a navy-blue suit, dark sunglasses covering her eyes, 
Dana Scully strode purposefully across the graveyard. She stopped 
at a fresh grave with a simple headstone bearing just the name 
of the deceased and the span of his life. It was the grave of her 
partner, Fox Mulder, dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to 
the head.

	Kneeling down, she laid the roses she had brought with her on
the ground next to the headstone. "Damn you, Mulder," she said
softly. "If only you hadn't been so inflexible. If only you would
have had some sense."

	She sighed and stood, turned away from the grave, and headed
back to the car.

--------------------

Jake's Diner, nearby
3:25 pm

	She walked into the small diner and went straight to the 
counter. The place was deserted, except for an old man at the
other end of the counter. "I recommend the cherry pie," he said
in a gentle southern drawl, an unmistakable glint in his familiar
hazel eyes.

	Scully smiled. She ordered the pie and a cup of coffee. After 
serving her, the waitress headed into the kitchen. 

	"You ever been in love?" the man asked.

	Scully shrugged. "I thought so once," she said.

	"What happened?" he asked.

	"Blew his brains out," she said and casually took a sip of 
coffee.

	"I'm sorry," he said.

	"It's not that big of a deal," she said smoothly. "He was 
extremely gullible and very annoying. No great loss."

	The man was about to respond when two younger men walked 
into the diner, both dressed in suits. They seated themselves 
at a table in the back. Scully broke off a piece of pie with her 
fork and ate it. She didn't look at her disguised companion at 
the opposite end of the counter. "Hey Pops," one of the new 
arrivals said, and Scully tensed, ready to draw her weapon. 
Out of the corner of her eye she could see the him put down 
his cup of coffee and smile. He glanced over his shoulder at 
the men behind him. "How's the java?" the young man asked. 

	"OK, for what it is," the old man said the touch of a southern 
accent intact and seemingly authentic, even to a woman so 
familiar with the man's true voice. 

	Scully's heart was pounding. She had finished her pie by the 
time the waitress emerged from the kitchen and headed over 
to the table. She knew she couldn't draw this out, but the idea 
of leaving sickened her. Still, she could feel him willing her to 
leave, and eventually, after draining her cup of coffee, she stood, 
pulled out a $5 bill, and set it on the counter. Without looking 
at him she turned and walked out the door.

	Once outside, she stood frozen for a moment, waiting for the 
gunshots, unable to breathe, her hand on her gun. One second, two, 
three. Nothing. No sound. She went to her car and started it, then 
waited. On the steering wheel her hand was shaking. Damn you, she 
thought.

	Finally she pulled out of the lot and headed home. The silence 
in the car was deafening. When she reached her apartment building 
she parked her car and went inside. For a while she just paced, 
trying to settle the nervous energy that was eating away at her. 
There was nothing she could do now but wait.

-------------------

	When he had called her a few nights before to ask her to join 
him in this crazy scheme, she had told him flat out: No, no way, 
not now.

	Her refusal had been followed by silence, a long silence that
stretched from seconds to minutes. She'd had a sense of what he 
was doing, how he was fighting with himself to decide whether 
or not he should push it this time. She didn't know what his 
decision would be; she just waited it out.

	Finally he said, "Dana, if that's how things are then I won't
push it. You need your strength for yourself now."

	*If* that's how things are... Did he doubt her, she wondered,
or was he giving her the opportunity to think about it for 
herself? She did think about it then, and she decided she just
wasn't sure. "I need you to tell me how you feel," she said.

	"I'm fine," he said. "That doesn't matter..."

	"And it's bullshit," she said. "But that isn't what I meant."

	He was silent for a beat or two and then said, not really
as a question, "About us."

	"Yes," she said.

	"Are you sure you want that?" he asked.

	"Yes," she said.

	"Why?" he asked. "Why now?"

	"The cancer has metastasized--"

	"Dana, I'm--"

	"No," she said. "Let me finish. I don't know how much time I
have left, Fox. I need to make my decisions carefully and wisely
now. I need to have all the information, not just what you see fit
to dole out to me."

	She was prepared to wait again, but his response came quickly,
spoken softly: "I love you," he said. She had closed her eyes then 
and listened to her heart.

	It had all moved quickly, the various set-ups and the intricate
web of lies. He masterminded most of it, and it was brilliant,
but she saw early on that he was now unsure of his instincts 
and needed her confirmation, which she gave when it made 
sense to do so. The only other people they had brought in were 
those whose loyalty was unquestionable--The Lone Gunmen. With 
their help the groundwork was laid quickly, and before she knew 
it, it was underway.

--------------------

Scully's apartment
11:21 pm, Saturday

	Her cell phone rang once, waking her. She looked from her 
clock to the phone where it laid on the nightstand by her bed 
and waited, counting to 10 in her head. When she reached 10 
it rang again, twice, and was silent. She got out of bed and 
dressed quickly, grabbed her car keys, and headed out the door. 

	The parking lot was dark. Hand on her gun, she walked to the
car as confidently as she could. After unlocking the door, she
slipped into the driver's seat. 

	"Always check the back seat," Mulder said from behind her,
still employing the soft southern drawl. 

	Scully looked out the windows of the car and into the rearview
mirror but didn't turn around. "You took a hell of a risk coming
here," she said. 

	"I'm fine, thanks," he said. "I thought you might be worried."

	She was silent for a moment and then said, "You're not dead."

	"No," he said. "Not yet."

	"Thank God," she said. She started the car and then drove 
aimlessly for a while. 

	The car was silent for several minutes as she drove, but the air
was heavy with the potential for what could be said. "Where can
we go?" she asked.

	"Langly told me about a place," he said. He gave her directions 
to a motel in the boonies. "Great scotch. Cute girls."

	"Shut up," Scully said, but there was a dark smile on her lips.

	"My deepest apologies," he said, that hint of the south returning
to his voice. 

	"Where'd you pick that up?" she asked.

	"Frohike," Mulder said. "He says it makes the women crazy."

	"I'll have to tell him I find it very sexy," she said.

	She could feel his smile in the darkness. "I think that would
probably kill him," he said softly in his own deadpan tone.

	They were nearing the hotel, and Scully felt an unwelcome 
doubt creep into her thoughts. "Fox," she said, "did you say what 
you did about how you felt just to convince me to help you?"

	"No," Mulder said with sincere certainty, adding quickly, "I was
also hoping you might sleep with me." She heard him shifting
position. "Byers tells me the ladies like that gushy stuff--"

	"Fox--"

	"Yes," he said. "I meant it." She pulled into the gravelly 
driveway leading to the old motel. "Pull around back." She 
heard the jangle of key as he shook it lightly. "I hope this 
seems presumptuous."

	"It does," she said.

	"Will you forgive me?" he asked.

	"No."

	"Good."

	She pulled up to the building and stopped, waiting, looking 
for any sort of movement in the thick darkness. Nothing. Several 
minutes of nothing. Finally Mulder opened the left back door and 
got out. Scully followed a moment later, trailing him to the door 
to the room, looking around, gun ready.

	Mulder unlocked the door and waited a moment before 
pushing it open. He flicked on the light and scanned the 
room before stepping aside so she could enter. Her eyes 
were met with quite a vision: peeling wallpaper and stained 
carpeting were just part of a very unpretty picture. "You know 
the best places," she said.

	"It's probably safe," he said. "At least for a little while." 

	He sat down on the bed, and she sat beside him. "We don't have 
a lot of time," she said. "We won't be safe anywhere for long."

	He looked at her. "I want you to tell me if this is too much," he
said. "Don't lie to me."

	She sighed. "It isn't easy," she said. "But I'm still strong enough."

	He put his hand over hers, and she sensed how truly strong 
and vital he was. "I don't know if it means anything to you 
anymore," he said, "but I still believe that we'll find a way to 
save you. There has to be a way." He paused. "I would do 
anything to take it inside me."

	"I know," she said. "That wouldn't be any better." She hesitated
for a moment before asking: "What *do* you believe now?"

	"I believe you want me," he said.

	"We'll see about that," she said with a smile that faded quickly.
"But tell me what I was really asking."

	Mulder shrugged. "I can't get past it," he said. "I've thought it
through, and I've looked at it from every angle I can think of. I
have more doubts than ever before, but if I'm honest with myself--
I still believe what I've always believed." She didn't know what
he saw in her eyes, but it prompted him to add: "I'm sorry."

	"No," she said. "You're not. And I don't want you to be."

	He smiled then. "Thank you," he said. She looked into his eyes
and waited, eventually thinking: Jesus, Mulder, don't you have
the common sense God gave a... when he put his hands on her face
and moved closer, gently bringing his lips to hers before pulling
back. He looked at her for a moment, and she saw something in 
that look that didn't fit the situation.

	"What?" she asked, but a moment later she knew. She felt the
moisture slide from her nostril. "Shit." She pulled a tissue from
her pocket and used it to wipe and pinch her nose. "You don't find
this sexy?" she asked through a pinched nose.

	"Maybe--"

	"No, Fox," she said. "Don't even say that." She stood and took the
tissue to the bathroom where she dropped it into the toilet and
flushed it before returning to sit beside him. "I'm fine."

	"Don't give me *that* now," he said.

	"This time it's true," she said. Scully slid her hand between his
legs and up, all the way up. He made no move to stop her.

	"Tell me you're sure," he said.

	"I'm sure," she said, and she started to unbutton her blouse.

-------------------
Motel
2:28 am, Sunday

	Lying together on the old, squeaky bed, she just looked at him 
for several seconds before he asked: "What?"

	"I'm glad you're alive," she said.

	"So am I," he said. 

	She kissed him softly. "You can't play dead forever, though," 
she said, running her hand over his warm skin. "You know that."

	"That's why we have to speed things up," he said. "We have to 
find out what the hell is going on before someone *does* put 
a bullet in my brain."

	She moved back on top of him. "That isn't going to happen," 
she said. She kissed his neck and felt his hands on her back, 
holding her to him, and for a moment or two she just closed 
her eyes and felt his warmth. "I won't let that happen."

	Several seconds passed before he said absolutely seriously: 
"I believe you."

	She looked into his eyes. "I love you," she said.

	He smiled. "I know that, sweetheart," he said.

	The endearment surprised her for a moment, but she liked 
it. "Then I want you to promise me something," she said.

	"Anything," he said.

	"Seriously," she said. "I want you to promise you'll be 
careful, for your sake and mine. You have a tendency to be 
reckless almost to the point of stupidity sometimes."

	"I don't know if I like this much honesty," Mulder said.

	She brought her lips to his, and they kissed deeply. He slid 
his hands down to her rear... "Promise," she said.

	"OK," he said.

	"No," she said. "Say it."

	"I promise I'll be careful," he said.

	She looked into his eyes, but she wasn't really sure how much 
he meant it. "This is important to me," she said.

	"I know," he said. "I'll do my best."

	"Do my best," she said.

	He smiled. "OK," he said. He rolled her over underneath him, 
and it was much later when they finally left the motel and 
headed out into the dawning morning.

******************************

Comments may be sent to:
peridot@compuserve.com
or
76021.3043@compuserve.com


-- 
peridot@compuserve.com

From 76021.3043@CompuServe.COM Wed Jun 25 21:22:35 1997
Path: msunews!news.gmi.edu!aanews.merit.net!news.cic.net!condor.ic.net!news2.acs.oakland.edu!jobone!newsxfer3.itd.umich.edu!howland.erols.net!newsfeed.internetmci.com!compuserve.com!news.production.compuserve.com!news
From: laura herold <76021.3043@CompuServe.COM>
Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative
Subject: Death Smiled (1/1)
Date: 26 Jun 1997 01:22:35 GMT
Organization: compuserve
Lines: 369
Message-ID: <5osg8r$9k6$1@mhafc.production.compuserve.com>
Xref: msunews alt.tv.x-files.creative:43877

The characters, etc, from The X-Files belong to the folks at Fox.
No infringement of rights is intended.

Basic info:
Rating: R
Classification: S(tory)
Spoilers: A few from late season 4
Summary: A version of the events that could transpire soon after 
what occurred in Gesthemane, the season 4 finale.

Death Smiled
by Laura Herold

A Virginia cemetery
2:36 pm, Saturday	

	Dressed in a navy-blue suit, dark sunglasses covering her eyes, 
Dana Scully strode purposefully across the graveyard. She stopped 
at a fresh grave with a simple headstone bearing just the name 
of the deceased and the span of his life. It was the grave of her 
partner, Fox Mulder, dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to 
the head.

	Kneeling down, she laid the roses she had brought with her on
the ground next to the headstone. "Damn you, Mulder," she said
softly. "If only you hadn't been so inflexible. If only you would
have had some sense."

	She sighed and stood, turned away from the grave, and headed
back to the car.

--------------------

Jake's Diner, nearby
3:25 pm

	She walked into the small diner and went straight to the 
counter. The place was deserted, except for an old man at the
other end of the counter. "I recommend the cherry pie," he said
in a gentle southern drawl, an unmistakable glint in his familiar
hazel eyes.

	Scully smiled. She ordered the pie and a cup of coffee. After 
serving her, the waitress headed into the kitchen. 

	"You ever been in love?" the man asked.

	Scully shrugged. "I thought so once," she said.

	"What happened?" he asked.

	"Blew his brains out," she said and casually took a sip of 
coffee.

	"I'm sorry," he said.

	"It's not that big of a deal," she said smoothly. "He was 
extremely gullible and very annoying. No great loss."

	The man was about to respond when two younger men walked 
into the diner, both dressed in suits. They seated themselves 
at a table in the back. Scully broke off a piece of pie with her 
fork and ate it. She didn't look at her disguised companion at 
the opposite end of the counter. "Hey Pops," one of the new 
arrivals said, and Scully tensed, ready to draw her weapon. 
Out of the corner of her eye she could see the him put down 
his cup of coffee and smile. He glanced over his shoulder at 
the men behind him. "How's the java?" the young man asked. 

	"OK, for what it is," the old man said the touch of a southern 
accent intact and seemingly authentic, even to a woman so 
familiar with the man's true voice. 

	Scully's heart was pounding. She had finished her pie by the 
time the waitress emerged from the kitchen and headed over 
to the table. She knew she couldn't draw this out, but the idea 
of leaving sickened her. Still, she could feel him willing her to 
leave, and eventually, after draining her cup of coffee, she stood, 
pulled out a $5 bill, and set it on the counter. Without looking 
at him she turned and walked out the door.

	Once outside, she stood frozen for a moment, waiting for the 
gunshots, unable to breathe, her hand on her gun. One second, two, 
three. Nothing. No sound. She went to her car and started it, then 
waited. On the steering wheel her hand was shaking. Damn you, she 
thought.

	Finally she pulled out of the lot and headed home. The silence 
in the car was deafening. When she reached her apartment building 
she parked her car and went inside. For a while she just paced, 
trying to settle the nervous energy that was eating away at her. 
There was nothing she could do now but wait.

-------------------

	When he had called her a few nights before to ask her to join 
him in this crazy scheme, she had told him flat out: No, no way, 
not now.

	Her refusal had been followed by silence, a long silence that
stretched from seconds to minutes. She'd had a sense of what he 
was doing, how he was fighting with himself to decide whether 
or not he should push it this time. She didn't know what his 
decision would be; she just waited it out.

	Finally he said, "Dana, if that's how things are then I won't
push it. You need your strength for yourself now."

	*If* that's how things are... Did he doubt her, she wondered,
or was he giving her the opportunity to think about it for 
herself? She did think about it then, and she decided she just
wasn't sure. "I need you to tell me how you feel," she said.

	"I'm fine," he said. "That doesn't matter..."

	"And it's bullshit," she said. "But that isn't what I meant."

	He was silent for a beat or two and then said, not really
as a question, "About us."

	"Yes," she said.

	"Are you sure you want that?" he asked.

	"Yes," she said.

	"Why?" he asked. "Why now?"

	"The cancer has metastasized--"

	"Dana, I'm--"

	"No," she said. "Let me finish. I don't know how much time I
have left, Fox. I need to make my decisions carefully and wisely
now. I need to have all the information, not just what you see fit
to dole out to me."

	She was prepared to wait again, but his response came quickly,
spoken softly: "I love you," he said. She had closed her eyes then 
and listened to her heart.

	It had all moved quickly, the various set-ups and the intricate
web of lies. He masterminded most of it, and it was brilliant,
but she saw early on that he was now unsure of his instincts 
and needed her confirmation, which she gave when it made 
sense to do so. The only other people they had brought in were 
those whose loyalty was unquestionable--The Lone Gunmen. With 
their help the groundwork was laid quickly, and before she knew 
it, it was underway.

--------------------

Scully's apartment
11:21 pm, Saturday

	Her cell phone rang once, waking her. She looked from her 
clock to the phone where it laid on the nightstand by her bed 
and waited, counting to 10 in her head. When she reached 10 
it rang again, twice, and was silent. She got out of bed and 
dressed quickly, grabbed her car keys, and headed out the door. 

	The parking lot was dark. Hand on her gun, she walked to the
car as confidently as she could. After unlocking the door, she
slipped into the driver's seat. 

	"Always check the back seat," Mulder said from behind her,
still employing the soft southern drawl. 

	Scully looked out the windows of the car and into the rearview
mirror but didn't turn around. "You took a hell of a risk coming
here," she said. 

	"I'm fine, thanks," he said. "I thought you might be worried."

	She was silent for a moment and then said, "You're not dead."

	"No," he said. "Not yet."

	"Thank God," she said. She started the car and then drove 
aimlessly for a while. 

	The car was silent for several minutes as she drove, but the air
was heavy with the potential for what could be said. "Where can
we go?" she asked.

	"Langly told me about a place," he said. He gave her directions 
to a motel in the boonies. "Great scotch. Cute girls."

	"Shut up," Scully said, but there was a dark smile on her lips.

	"My deepest apologies," he said, that hint of the south returning
to his voice. 

	"Where'd you pick that up?" she asked.

	"Frohike," Mulder said. "He says it makes the women crazy."

	"I'll have to tell him I find it very sexy," she said.

	She could feel his smile in the darkness. "I think that would
probably kill him," he said softly in his own deadpan tone.

	They were nearing the hotel, and Scully felt an unwelcome 
doubt creep into her thoughts. "Fox," she said, "did you say what 
you did about how you felt just to convince me to help you?"

	"No," Mulder said with sincere certainty, adding quickly, "I was
also hoping you might sleep with me." She heard him shifting
position. "Byers tells me the ladies like that gushy stuff--"

	"Fox--"

	"Yes," he said. "I meant it." She pulled into the gravelly 
driveway leading to the old motel. "Pull around back." She 
heard the jangle of key as he shook it lightly. "I hope this 
seems presumptuous."

	"It does," she said.

	"Will you forgive me?" he asked.

	"No."

	"Good."

	She pulled up to the building and stopped, waiting, looking 
for any sort of movement in the thick darkness. Nothing. Several 
minutes of nothing. Finally Mulder opened the left back door and 
got out. Scully followed a moment later, trailing him to the door 
to the room, looking around, gun ready.

	Mulder unlocked the door and waited a moment before 
pushing it open. He flicked on the light and scanned the 
room before stepping aside so she could enter. Her eyes 
were met with quite a vision: peeling wallpaper and stained 
carpeting were just part of a very unpretty picture. "You know 
the best places," she said.

	"It's probably safe," he said. "At least for a little while." 

	He sat down on the bed, and she sat beside him. "We don't have 
a lot of time," she said. "We won't be safe anywhere for long."

	He looked at her. "I want you to tell me if this is too much," he
said. "Don't lie to me."

	She sighed. "It isn't easy," she said. "But I'm still strong enough."

	He put his hand over hers, and she sensed how truly strong 
and vital he was. "I don't know if it means anything to you 
anymore," he said, "but I still believe that we'll find a way to 
save you. There has to be a way." He paused. "I would do 
anything to take it inside me."

	"I know," she said. "That wouldn't be any better." She hesitated
for a moment before asking: "What *do* you believe now?"

	"I believe you want me," he said.

	"We'll see about that," she said with a smile that faded quickly.
"But tell me what I was really asking."

	Mulder shrugged. "I can't get past it," he said. "I've thought it
through, and I've looked at it from every angle I can think of. I
have more doubts than ever before, but if I'm honest with myself--
I still believe what I've always believed." She didn't know what
he saw in her eyes, but it prompted him to add: "I'm sorry."

	"No," she said. "You're not. And I don't want you to be."

	He smiled then. "Thank you," he said. She looked into his eyes
and waited, eventually thinking: Jesus, Mulder, don't you have
the common sense God gave a... when he put his hands on her face
and moved closer, gently bringing his lips to hers before pulling
back. He looked at her for a moment, and she saw something in 
that look that didn't fit the situation.

	"What?" she asked, but a moment later she knew. She felt the
moisture slide from her nostril. "Shit." She pulled a tissue from
her pocket and used it to wipe and pinch her nose. "You don't find
this sexy?" she asked through a pinched nose.

	"Maybe--"

	"No, Fox," she said. "Don't even say that." She stood and took the
tissue to the bathroom where she dropped it into the toilet and
flushed it before returning to sit beside him. "I'm fine."

	"Don't give me *that* now," he said.

	"This time it's true," she said. Scully slid her hand between his
legs and up, all the way up. He made no move to stop her.

	"Tell me you're sure," he said.

	"I'm sure," she said, and she started to unbutton her blouse.

-------------------
Motel
2:28 am, Sunday

	Lying together on the old, squeaky bed, she just looked at him 
for several seconds before he asked: "What?"

	"I'm glad you're alive," she said.

	"So am I," he said. 

	She kissed him softly. "You can't play dead forever, though," 
she said, running her hand over his warm skin. "You know that."

	"That's why we have to speed things up," he said. "We have to 
find out what the hell is going on before someone *does* put 
a bullet in my brain."

	She moved back on top of him. "That isn't going to happen," 
she said. She kissed his neck and felt his hands on her back, 
holding her to him, and for a moment or two she just closed 
her eyes and felt his warmth. "I won't let that happen."

	Several seconds passed before he said absolutely seriously: 
"I believe you."

	She looked into his eyes. "I love you," she said.

	He smiled. "I know that, sweetheart," he said.

	The endearment surprised her for a moment, but she liked 
it. "Then I want you to promise me something," she said.

	"Anything," he said.

	"Seriously," she said. "I want you to promise you'll be 
careful, for your sake and mine. You have a tendency to be 
reckless almost to the point of stupidity sometimes."

	"I don't know if I like this much honesty," Mulder said.

	She brought her lips to his, and they kissed deeply. He slid 
his hands down to her rear... "Promise," she said.

	"OK," he said.

	"No," she said. "Say it."

	"I promise I'll be careful," he said.

	She looked into his eyes, but she wasn't really sure how much 
he meant it. "This is important to me," she said.

	"I know," he said. "I'll do my best."

	"Do my best," she said.

	He smiled. "OK," he said. He rolled her over underneath him, 
and it was much later when they finally left the motel and 
headed out into the dawning morning.

******************************

Comments may be sent to:
peridot@compuserve.com
or
76021.3043@compuserve.com


-- 

peridot@compuserve.com