From: Nonie Rider Date: Fri, 25 Sep 1998 12:19:13 -0500 Subject: Dialogue interrompu (English translation) Here is an English version of Mikal's story "Dialogue Interrompu." (Translation approved by the author.) ----------------------------------------------------------- Interrupted Conversation By Mikl Translation by Nonie Rider and Saundra Mitchell "What are you doing?" "Nothing." "You promised." "What?" "Not to lie to me anymore." "..." "Alex?" "What?" "Answer me." "No." "Why?" "Because I promised." "Lies of omission are still lies." "..." "..." "Why do you always ask a ton of questions?" "Why don't you ever ask any?" "That's not an answer." "Neither is that." "..." "I don't ask a ton of questions, Alex, I ask enough. I come home this evening and you're here. When I see you're not well, then I think it's normal for me to ask what's going on." "You ask questions you know I can't answer." "You can't, or you won't?" "..." "Just once. Please." "Drop it." "No." "..." "Not this time, Alex, not this time." "..." "All right, fine. I understand." "Where are you going?" "..." ------------------------- Two days later: "Where were you?" "..." "Mulder?" "What?" "Where were you?" "I heard you the first time." "I hope you at least enjoyed yourself." "..." " I waited for you" "Yeah?" "What are you playing at?" "Your own game." "What are you trying to say?" "You know perfectly well." "..." "Notice that I almost succeeded." "At what?" "Reaching my goal." "Do I need to drag you around by the nose, or are you going to explain?" "There! Maybe my goal is already reached; I almost succeeded in getting a reaction out of you." "Okay. My reaction is to drop it." "As usual." "What?" "As usual, you avoid it." "What do you mean, I avoid it?" "Don't play the innocent, Alex. A lot of people change the subject when they don't want to talk about something. You just do it when it's too much trouble. You just stay silent. "That's not it." "That's not it? No, you're right that's not it. It's worse. It's worse because you don't give a fuck. You don't give a fuck about what I say, about what I think, about what I do. You don't give a fuck who I am. You don't even give a fuck whether I'm here! Why the fuck do you even stay? "Mulder, it's myself I don't give a fuck about." "Yeah? Funny way to show it, then." "Sorry." "No, Alex, you're not sorry. I think I like this better anyway. At least I don't have any illusions, I know who's holding me. For once, you're not lying." "Look, what do you expect from me? What more do you want, Mulder?" "What I want doesn't matter, it's what I don't want anymore that matters." "Okay, then what don't you want?" "What don't I want? I don't want you to be indifferent anymore. I don't want you to ignore me anymore. When you enter me, when you take possession of my body, when you penetrate me, when you stroke my prostate with your fingers, when you go down on me, I don't want to be alone in that desire. In those moments, when I am overcome with pleasure, when I want to explode, I don't want you to do it like it's a job. I don't want to feel like I'm paying some hooker to fuck me! I don't want you to jerk off when it's over as though I can't give you the same pleasure you give me. I want to suck you, and taste your come the way you do mine. I want to give you pleasure, and I don't want you to ignore me!" "You don't want me to fuck you, but you want me to make love to you, is that it?" "No, that's not it. I don't want you to make love to me; I want us both to make love with each other." "Then let's do it. Let's make love." ------------- The End