Subject: NEW: "Discontented Passage" G (1/1) From: Kirk C Jones Date: Sat, 20 Dec 1997 19:48:29 -0800 Hello all! I'm on break, whoohoo! So Happy Holidays everyone! :) DISCLAIMER: Me no own them, me not worth law suit. Chris Carter owns them and so does FOX. Yadda, yadda, yadda.... RATING: G CATEGORY: VA hinted at MSR SPOILERS: Through "Christmas Carol" and "Emily"!!!! So watch out! ;) SUMMARY: Post-Emily discussion... DETICATION: To God for giving me this gift of words and passion to write. :) And now on with the story.... "Discontented Passage" By Xphile 324 ----------------------- The cross. It's where life inevitably left her, at the foot of the cross. The cross of her Savior, the cross of her despair. She stared at the twirling, glimmering gold, enveloped in its meaning, but unable to detangle the enigma within. Her eyes became glassy, squashing what strong emotions she felt to the furthest reaches of her consciousness, singular and lost. He walked behind her, touching the dangling cross as she held it in her hand. Scully's eyes snapped back and focused on his hand, watching his long, elegant fingers slip pass the shining strands. Mulder looked at her, then into the pile of sand that once was a small girl inside the coffin. He shifted his feet quietly, uneasily as he became aware of her observation of him. "Scully," he whispered placing his hand on her shoulder, "whatever you're feeling right now..." She shook her head, shutting the coffin, but still cradling her cross. "Mulder...." "Regardless of what you think you can handle right now," he interrupted, gently shaking his head as she glanced at her cross, "please go to someone." He sighed then looked about the church unable to look into her eyes. She stared at him now, pondering his words. "You have family.......friends that care about you. And they care about you as much as you did about Emily." Her head bowed and he chanced to look at her again. A quiet pain filled Mulder's eyes, recalling a time when he had no one to turn to, just as she felt now. Scully looked back up at him, her chin pointed outward and her eyes blank, shutting him out. She was independent to the end. "Emily is dead," she spoke. Her eyes held a blank stare, but the frown on the corners of her mouth told of disappointment, as if merely speaking the words would somehow heal her. Her gaze remained steady. "My only child is dead." Mulder resisted the urge to speak, knowing she needed to say something--anything--to get this out in the open. Burning tears began to form in the back of his eyes, understanding her pain more than he should--empathizing too much. Within the steely confines of his buried heart, the ache he saw within her eyes began to grow and consume him. Emily was as much his as she was hers. The knowledge provided no comfort. Scully's eyes dipped again, her voice becoming softer as she fidgeted with her necklace. "She wasn't even really mine--not as I would have imagined her," she whispered. His hand was heavy on her shoulder. "But you knew her, Scully," he said. "You met her. The fact you found her--" Her cinnamon hair splashed back and forth, then blue pools met his own eyes. "It doesn't matter, Mulder," she said looking at the casket, his flowers now arranged again on the top. "She's gone and.......I'll never get her back." She bit her lip, gliding her right hand fingers over the white wood of the casket. Mulder watched her, wishing he could wipe away the pain, but helpless to stop it. Her fingers stopped and her hand returned to her cross. "I--I can't have a child, Mulder," she petitioned. "Do you know what that's like?" Shock flashed across his face, then compassion. He knew all too well. His hopes of a child were hers also, though she never knew it. He reached for her, but froze when she cringed away. "This doesn't change things. Doesn't change my future...or my past." She sniffled slightly, holding back tears. "It's a fruitless, careless search, this thing called life," she whispered. "And no matter what we do, who we meet, what we share or what we take, in the end we exit as we enter......alone." He breathed sharply, grabbing her joined hands and turning her toward him. Her eyes flashed pain then nothingness at him. He separated her hands, taking one in each of his own, weaving his fingers with hers. Her cross dangled between their fingers, scattering the room with glints of gold. His eyes burned into hers. "Dana," he whispered, tears openly starting to stream down his face. She blinked, frantically grasping at the last strands of her self-dependence. His mouth hanging open, he quickly glanced at their entwined hands, gripping her harder, then met her anguished gaze with his own. "Dana, you are not alone," he finished. Scully closed her eyes, opening them to see the image of their grasped hands and letting his hand go. Releasing the cross from her fingers, it fell into the sea of his tears and the island of his trembling palm. --30-- ALL feedback welcomed at xphile324@geocities.com ThX for reading! "But God will redeem my soul from the power of the grave: for he shall receive me." Psalm 50:15 ------------------------------- Co-founder XPFC--X-Philes for Christ--Smile. God loves you. :)--John 14:6 HL-C & C-Leapers--X-tra Enthusiastic Christain--Psalms 118:6; Ecclesiastes 3:1; Proverbs 17:17; Romans 8:38-9 Co-founder DDDB--DD is DDG--GBLA #33--SPCDD--LSDDIAHBABHHTPWB--Teenage Davidite _Lion's Roar_--Class of '98--Proud VIA--Music is a prayer without any words. ------------------------------- Converted 'Shipper......It'll get in your head somehow........ "The truth will save you, Scully. I think it'll save both of us."--Fox Mulder to Dana Scully ------------------------------- xphile324@geocities.com OR x-viola@juno.com eXit 324: http://www.geocities.com/Area51/8423/home.htm