From sgormle2@chat.carleton.ca Wed Mar 12 18:15:09 1997 Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: NEW: Don't Speak (1/1) From: sgormle2@chat.carleton.ca (Siobhan Gormley) Date: 13 Mar 1997 00:15:09 GMT -------- The idea for this vignette came to me recently because of a couple of reasons. Firstly, I've been feeling a little cut off from many of my friends lately, mostly because the majority of them live in different cities now. Also, I found the song "Don't Speak" by No Doubt really said something to me, especially the lyric 'Feels like I'm losing my best friend'. So yes, this tale is a tad angsty, so don't read it if you don't like angst. Disclaimer time! Mulder, Scully, Byers, and Penny Northern in no way belong to me. I just like to use them (and various other characters) from time to time to release some of my hyperactive imagination. (g) They do belong though to CC, 1013, and FBC. No infringement intended. Classification: V, perhaps A also Rating: PG (a bit of swearing) Spoilers: Memento Mori Don't Speak by Siobhan Gormley Mulder sat in the chair in the hallway, waiting for Scully to leave Penny Northern's room. He thought back to when he had come in, how scared he had been that something had happened to Scully when he had seen that she wasn't there. Then there was the wave of relief of Byers saying that she was just down the hall. He had gone to enter Penny's room, but when he saw the look on Scully's face, one he had seen not so long ago, he decided that it was better that he leave her be. Now he sat in the hallway, contemplating how precarious life was, how people shouldn't let things like petty fights get in the way of the relationships you had with the people in your life, whether they were friends, lovers, or family. Because, if you did, the next thing you knew that person was gone from your life and you could never make up for what went wrong, no matter how much you wanted to. That's what Mulder was worrying about with Scully. Just after he had found out about her cancer, they had had a fight. At the time he hadn't agreed with her, thinking she was being ridiculous, but now, he was wondering if maybe she was right. **** A few days earlier... Mulder and Scully walked into their office. They had just been up in Skinner's office discussing Scully's illness and the investigation that they wanted to conduct. Now they just had to find that address to get started. Mulder watched as Scully went through her notes. She looked so strong still, even though in reality she was weaker inside. He couldn't help but want to reach out to her, but at the same time, he felt guilty so that he didn't want to touch her. He felt guilty that it was his fault that she was sick. He really had a great track record with the women in his life. Either they were abducted or got sick. In Scully's case, it was both. He turned away as she found the address and looked up at him. A frown creased her brow. "What is it, Mulder?" "Nothing," he replied, having it come out more as a noncommittal grunt than an actual word. Scully's frown deepened. "Don't pull this shit on me, Mulder. I don't have time for it," she said angrily. The force of her anger hit him like a steam train, and he winced as if he had been hurt. She stood near him, trying to get him to look at her. When he finally looked her in the eye, it was like he still not really looking at her, but through her. This seemed to anger her more and she turned on her heel and stormed out of the office, saying only, "Fuck it! Don't speak to me then!" as she left. Mulder quickly followed after her, barely making it into the elevator before the doors closed. Mulder tried to not look at Scully, but she couldn't help but glance angrily at him from time to time. Just before they arrived at their floor, Scully decided to take matters into her own hands. She pushed the emergency stop button on the elevator, which of course brought it to a complete standstill. "What the hell are you doing, Scully?" "Finally I get a comprehensible response from you!" she exclaimed. It was now Mulder's turn to scowl. "Is that what this is about? You want to know what's wrong? Well I told you, it's *nothing*! Can't you get that through your thick skull?" Mulder regretted it as soon as he had said it, but it was too late, it couldn't be taken back. He was certain Scully was going to just fume like she had a tendency to do, so he was surprised when she lashed out at him. "How dare you presume to insult me by telling me that there is nothing wrong. Pretty much since we left the hospital you haven't said two words to me. You're shutting me out, Mulder, just like you have so many times before. And trust me, that hurts a *hell* of a lot more than any tumor!" "That's ridiculous. I just..." "You're just shutting me out emotionally. God, I thought we had gotten past this. I thought we talked more now, that we had become close friends, even best friends. But obviously I was wrong. I guess all the things we've said, all the secrets we told each other don't count for anything once you decide that it's time to shut me out." Scully hit the button again, starting the elevator. Mulder didn't say a word, he didn't really know what to say. He didn't think he was shutting her out. That just seemed silly. He was protecting her, that's all. **** Of course, now he didn't think it was so silly. Now that he had had time to think about it, after having felt a chill in their relationship, he knew she was right. He blamed himself for her illness, he blamed himself for so many things, so he just thought that he could protect the people he loved, as well as himself, by shutting them out. In the end though, he ended up hurting them more than he had thought he might if he let them be close to him. He wondered how he could change things, make up for what he had done. He would have to think about it... THE END? ************************************************************************* Siobhan Gormley, Carleton University * X-Phile, Trek Fan, B-5er, Ottawa, Canada * Disnophile, Dragon Posse, Email address: sgormle2@wabakimi.carleton.ca* Whovian, Hopeful Romantic, http://chat.carleton.ca/~sgormle2 * Austenite, Linguistic Twin ************************************************************************* What made you think I like taglines? *************************************************************************