From: Dhcmoon Date: 30 Nov 2000 23:15:08 GMT Subject: NEW: The Dream by Sister Moon (1/1) TITLE: The Dream (1/1) AUTHOR: Sister Moon E-MAIL: Dhcmoon@aol.com RATING: PG SUMMARY: MSR, Vignette SPOILERS: Amor Fati, Requiem, Within/Without FEEDBACK: I'd love it, please e-mail it to my address above ARCHIVE: Yes, but please ask first DISCLAIMERS: If these characters belonged to me, they wouldn't be in this mess right now ; this is strictly for love, not for profit. The dream always begins the same....... I find myself walking on a deserted stretch of beach. It's summer---the sky overhead is a brilliant blue and dotted with clouds, and a soft breeze caresses my face. There are no sounds except for the cry of seagulls and the crash of waves to the shore. A feeling of utter serenity begins to envelop me as I walk, the pure white sand warming the soles of my bare feet. I always spot him off in the distance. The first time I had the dream, he was crouched by a large boulder jutting dramatically up from the sand, his body hunched over as if in pain, his face hidden. I approached him and kneeled down and when he lifted his head and saw me, the wretched expression on his face immediately turned into one of astonishment, as if he had not expected to see me there. He pulled me against him and pressed his face into my neck, holding me tightly, and I hugged back with all of my strength. I can still recall everything in vivid detail---the smell of his skin, the feeling of his fingers tangling into my hair, the taste of seaspray on his lips when we kissed. I cried when I woke from the dream; I hadn't wanted it to end. I wasn't ready to let him go. I'm still not. The second night I had the dream, I had only walked the beach a short distance before I found him. He was standing on the beach this time, facing me, watching my approach. He smiled and stretched out his hand to me as I reached him. I took his hand and we walked along the water's edge together in silence, letting the calm waves break over our feet. Neither of us ever speaks in the dreams; it seems wholly unnecessary. All of our communication is by look and by touch; each seeming to know instinctively what the other needs. Sometimes we simply hold each other for the entire length of the dream, other times, we laugh and play like children in the water and on the sand. Sometimes we make love and afterwards we lie on the sand and watch the clouds drift by. On days when my body is sapped of strength and is racked with nausea and insomnia, when I finally fall into fitful sleep I dream that he is cradling me in his arms, soothing me with soft kisses on my face, his fingers massaging my stomach with gentle reverence. He knows about the baby in my dreams........... There are times when we meet when he is exhausted and battered, puncture wounds and bruises marking his face and body. In last night's dream he was the worst I'd ever seen him. I found him lying in a heap on the sand, barely able to acknowledge my presence when I reached him. I did what little I could for him, coaxing his head onto my lap and caressing him until his body finally stopped shuddering and the pained lines on his face relaxed in sleep. When he was deeply asleep, I unclasped the cross from around my neck and fastened it around his. The rational part of me knows these are only dreams. When I wake up with the smell of the ocean still strong in my nostrils and when it feels as if I am washing grains of sand out of my hair in the shower every morning, I have been able to convince myself that it's a simple delusion brought on by my overpowering need to see him again. But this morning when I awoke from last night's dream and caught sight of myself in the bathroom mirror, my cross was gone. End.