From: eastsider1@my-deja.com
Date: Wed, 05 Jan 2000 05:44:58 GMT
Subject: The Effect of Tanzanite on Superman (PG)

The Effect of Tanzanite on Superman by Eastsider
Rating: PG
Category: MSH, MSR
Disclaimer: There's not mine, etcetera, etcetera.



Before you say a word, let me explain how I got myself into this
outfit...

~ ~ ~

See, she said it was going to be a "New Year's Eve Masquerade Party".
That's the truth. That's what was on my invitation. It was going to be
at her place. Just a few friends of her's from the lab at Quantico and
a few friends of mine. That's what she told me. The party was to start
at 10:30pm. Scully wanted me to come early to help her set up.

To set ME up was more like it.

I arrived about a half hour early, a bottle of Korbel in each hand. I
was kind of hoping that Scully wouldn't get too upset when she saw me.
I sort of procrastinated about the costume, so I thought it would be
funny if I showed up in-

"A tuxedo, Mulder? You call that a costume?"

Scully was not amused.

I flashed her my best grin and reminded her that a tux is also known as
a "monkey suit".

She just looked at me. You know that thing she does? Right.

So, I followed her into the kitchen, practically tripping over my
shoes, because I was checking out the long, black, lace dress she was
wearing. Let me re-phrase that. I was checking out how she was moving
underneath all that long, black, lace. It was mesmerizing, it was
stupifying, it was electri-

Sorry, got kind of caught up in the memory.

Well, anyway, I moved the coffee table into the basement, to make more
room for the guests. Scully had cleared the kitchen counter and put out
some glasses. The Korbel twins were chilling in a sink full of ice (my
idea), along with a few bottles of wine. I was about to sample the
chips and dip when I felt a hand between my shoulder blades and looked
over into the angelic face of that she-devil Dana Scully.

"Mulder." She smiled at me when she said my name and rubbed my back.
Then she took my hand and led me toward her bedroom.

"Scully, what are you doing?" I asked her, grinning like a
fool. "People are going to be coming any minute."

"There's something in there for you, Mulder."

I was confused. SHE wasn't in there. What else could be of interest to
me in that room?

Scully opened the bedroom door and pushed me inside, then quickly
pulled the door shut behind me.

I immediately saw the red and blue outfit on the bed and winced.

"Scully!"

"Mulder, please?" The sweet little thing's voice beseeched me through
the door. "Please wear it. For me?"

"Scully, the Gunmen are coming to this party. I can't wear this! I
can't!"

"Mulder, you'll be the hit of the party, trust me."

"I'll be the laughing-stock of the party, that's what I'll be!" I don't
know why I bothered to resist. I knew I was going to lose, I just knew
it.

"Mulder, it's almost eleven o'clock. Now put that on and get your butt
out here, NOW!"

Oh. The sweet little thing was gone. Captain D. Scully was on deck.
That voice was saying get dressed or there'll be hell to pay.

So, I put it on. Why, you ask? A certain auburn-haired, ARMED, U.S.
federal agent told me to, that's why.

I emerged from the bedroom, splendiferous in my blue leotard and my
snug-fitting red spandex briefs with matching red cape.

I peeked around the corner, expecting to see a room full of people
awaiting my entrance. It was well after eleven, and the Gunmen should
at least have arrived, what with the promise of free food and liquor.

As I walked into the livingroom, I took note of the fact that there was
no light, save for a few glowing candles strategically placed
throughout. I could just make out a form on the couch whose face was
illuminated by a candle on the end table.

"Looks like the guests are going to be fashionably late," I said as I
advanced toward the floating face.

"Everyone is right on time, Mulder."

"It's just you and me here, ma'am," I said, warming to my role. "And
the name is Kent. Clark Kent."

Scully rose from the couch and seemed to take her sweet time walking
toward me. "Pleased to meet you Clark. Love the suit."

"Thanks ma'am. I was hoping to meet someone here," I said. "Maybe you
can help me find her?"

Scully smiled and stepped closer to this Caped Crusader. "I can do that
Clark. Can you describe her?"

"Yes. She's a red-head, about your size and height, without the spike
heels. She's wearing black lace and a..and a..."

That's when I felt her run her index finger around the waist-band of
the aforementioned spandex briefs. She balanced herself against me
while she kicked off her shoes, dropping in height about five inches.

"Well, hello there. I've been looking for you."

"And here I am, right under your nose."

"Here you are." I said looking down into the tanzanite eyes of Dana
Scully. Tanzanite is my Kryptonite, I thought fleetingly.

"So Clark, now that you've found me, what are you going to do with me?"

"I'll fly you off to some exotic land to celebrate the New Year."

"That's pretty ambitious,Clark. Can we do it in thirty minutes?" Scully
inquired of me.

I swept her up in my arms, an act which caught her completely off-
guard, but afforded me a first: the chance to see a goofy grin
plastered on Scully's face.

"We can do anything you want in thirty minutes." I couldn't help
leering at her.

"Superman, you just made me an offer I can't refuse. There's an exotic
place we can go not far from here," Scully offered.

I started walking toward the bedroom, being careful not bump into
anything in the darkness. Finally my shins came to rest against the
side of the bed.

"Mulder?"

"Scully?"

"Happy New Year."

I stopped long enough in my trek to kiss her, I know not for how long.

"Happy New Year, Scully."

"Mulder?"

"Scully?"

"How long will it take you to get out of this Superman get-up?"

I smiled at her as I tossed her on the bed. "Faster than a speeding
bullet."

~ ~ ~

Well, now you know how I got into this costume that Scully picked out
for me for the "New Year's Eve Masquerade Party".

As for how I got out of it, well, that's really none of your business,
now is it?


-End-