From: "Erin Blair" <eblair@sonic.net>
Date: Thu, 16 Sep 2004 03:01:59 -0700
Subject: NEW: Emerging Hope 1/1 by Erin M. Blair
Source: direct

TITLE: Emerging Hope
AUTHOR: Erin M. Blair
E-MAIL: eblair@sonic.net 
CLASSIFICATION/CATEGORY: SRA--Story, Romance, Angst 
CONTENT: Mulder/Scully UST
RATING: PG
DISTRIBUTION/ARCHIVE STATEMENT: OK to
Gossamer, Ephemeral, After the Fact.
AWARD ELIGIBILITY: Spookys 2004
SPOILERS: Ascension. One Breath.
SETTING: Season Two.
DATE: Created on May 7, 2004. Second draft was
on May 8, 2004. Final draft completed on: June 6, 2004.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: Special thanks to Jen for beta 
reading this story for me.
DISCLAIMER: Scully and Mulder belong to Chris Carter. 
SUMMARY: From the depths of despair over her abduction,
Scully realizes that she has emerging hope of renewing her
hope.

------------------------------------
Emerging Hope
Written by: Erin M. Blair
------------------------------------

Naked.

All I wanted was to escape, to find my way back 
home. I wanted to be anywhere else other than suffering 
this fate. My body laid on a white table -- still. The only 
thing covering me was a loose, crisp, white sheet. The 
sadness crept into my eyes. Tears started to form in my 
eyes and then the tears flowed down my cheeks like 
a river. 

Disoriented.

The noise was deafening. I couldn't deal with it 
anymore; I wanted the pain to be over. 

Then the drill whirled.

I was overcome by a black cloud of fear
emanating from me.

I felt the drill coming close to me. I braced for the 
intense pain as it cut through my skin. Silent screams
pierced through me.

Severe. Pain. 

Stomach.

Terrible pain.

The pain was overbearing. I wanted to scream, but
no sound came out. The severity of the pain wasn't
like anything I'd ever felt before. I wanted to escape
right then and there, but I was too helpless to overcome
the men in white coats standing over me as though I was 
a caged animal. 

They had no humanity in them.  If they did, they wouldn't
have put me through these horrible experiments. I silently 
begged them to let me go home.

I felt something growing inside me -- making
my insides burst wide open. Life slowly drained from my
body. I gathered enough courage to try to hold
on, but I was already weakening. The smallest hope of 
someone -- anyone -- finding me was drifting away 
by the minute. It all seemed dismal for me.  I 
had wanted to see and to feel the warmth in my soul.

Despondent. 
Dehumanized. 
Fear.

Blackness upon blackness. I felt like I was 
drifting away into the unknown. I found myself;
I let myself in.

And yet I knew I would be returned to Mulder. My
guide had told me this would happen. For some 
strange reason, I could feel him near.

Hope.
Returned.

I'd come home at last. I could feel the warmth
of his strength and love coursing through myself. I felt 
a hand on top of my own hand. He told me that he's
here for me.

I knew I wanted to come back to him.

Home.

When I saw him standing over me with a smile on 
his face, I knew I was home. I knew I was safe
at last when I looked at the love in his eyes.

-- the end -- 

Feedback: Yes, please. Send to: eblair@sonic.net   or
erinmblair@yahoo.com


Author's Notes: 

I recently watched "Ascension" and I wanted to
explore more what happened to Scully. I wanted 
to see what would have been like for her, to sense
what she's feeling. I wanted to convey that fear in
her eyes, the sense of disjointedness in my story.
At the same time, I wanted to convey the hope 
that she does have in being returned to Mulder. 

I wanted to try to experiment with my writing
in this story. I wanted to see different kinds of 
style to see if I like it. I have heard that I have a 
somewhat boring style...so I'm trying to remedy
that situation.  

This story has been through numerous revisions
and rewrites with the help of my beta readers. 

At first, this story is really abstract in its nature. You 
don't have to "get it" on your first try. It might take 
a few readings before the meaning sets in. 



---------------------
Erin Blair
eblair@sonic.net


