From: Assling@aol.com
Date: Sat, 13 May 2000 22:48:14 EDT
Subject: The End of an Affair
Source: direct

Title: The End of an Affair
Author: Ellie G.W.
Rating: PG
Summary: Mulder and Scully have a "falling out, pepper"
Author's notes: I wrote this because certain people took it upon themselves 
to write other things that bring shame to human kind in general!


Perhaps I was too bold to say that Mulder and I would love each other for all 
our lives. That, is still as true today as it was when I first said it aloud. 
But in all the moments we were together we weren't really there. Maybe too 
much of our life was centered around our work. Wait, no I can say that 
better. Our lives were centered around work. 

I suppose it was my fault. Not all, but some. I was the one who pushed a 
relationship with him for the mere fact of because I was lonely and tired of 
waiting around for the perfect time to act on feelings. Once I pushed the 
relationship and he accepted it, it was pure ecstasy. There was nothing but 
this odd feeling that was long deserted. Pure joy.

A few months later the novelty of 'us' had set in and lost its new effect but 
still the same had the exact shine on both of us. Before long we realized we 
were in a relationship that had every chance of working out and no chance of 
being unhealthy for us. And by that I mean, we stopped following up on leads. 
We stop contacting informants, and going on X-Files that was any place cold. 
(Warmer's sexier, Mulderrrr.) The old Scully and Mulder were lying dormant. 
All there was no is Fox and Dana.

My mother was at a lost. The Lone Gunman, were confused. The Smoking Man 
became distressed. You see we stopped caring about finding the truth and 
focused on each other. Without that care for the truth the Syndicate had 
nothing over us. No control. They were but a remote shadow of our past. And 
eventually they faded and left our minds altogehter. 

At least mine.

Mulder and I were happy. Utterly happy. Our relationship was perfect. Okay, 
not perfect more like superly good. Is superly a word? Awell. It was healthy 
for us. It was the result of 7 years of basic celibacy, in which we got to 
know each other and fall in love with the non-glossed over version of us. You 
know that thing where we know each other and not the person you meet on the 
first date? That person.

More or less over time Mulder and I became less involved with work. 
Especially those damned X-Files which required a lot of traveling. Traveling 
we had to do away from our apartment. Yes, we moved into a new apartment. 
Together. No one was ever shot here. No one by the name of Diana Fowley ever 
climaxed here, and no smoking man. Eventually in no dramatic show we were 
quietly switched from the X-Files to seperate places. I went to teach. Mulder 
went back to profiling. We earned a lot more praise instead of beratement and 
we got our own offices. I, myself began to forget all the monsters and 
aliens. It was part of that little section of my memory marked 'do not enter'

About a year after we abandon the X-Files we get a call. Mulder and I were 
staying in that night and decided to watch two movies. One was the one I 
wanted the other was is. He ordered in chinese and we got on our usual fight 
of which movie to watch first: his or mine. Then the phone rang. We waited 
until the third ring to break our kiss that Fox was using to 'suade me into 
watch his movie first. He picked it up and his face contorted into a mask of 
confusion. I could just here him saying 'you've got the wrong number!' as 
soon as the first word was spoken. 

Soon his face turned from confusion to shock. From shock to disgust. From 
disgust to fear. He looked at me and turned his back. He never hid something 
like this from me before. Not since our relationship began three years ago. 
He hung it up and sighed.

    "We've got to go to Skylar Mountain."
Do not enter. Oops.
    "Fox," I warned. "Skylar Mountain is. . ." A bad place! Where I was 
abducted. A thing of the past. Not a good place to visit this time a year. 
"Far." FAR?!?!?
    Mulder snorted. "It's not the drive is it Danes?"
    "No. It's the destination." No use playing games. Got. To. Be. Direct. 
"You know what that place means to me."
    Mulder nodded and looked grim. "The man on the phone said that there 
would be another burning."
    "Why tell us?! We don't do that anymore."
    "I don't know. But I wish he hadn't called." 
    "Mulder, let's tell the police. Tell the FBI! If we have to go we're not 
going alone."
    "Danes, the man said we have to go alone or there could be a massacre of 
civilians and police force. Believe me, I thought of law enforcements. So did 
this guy."
    "Who was it." I knew Mulder at least knew that.
    "It was my father." 
    Damn. Why did he have to call. Why wasn't he dead? He was! I swear!
    "Let's go."

Maybe I assumed I was prepared to go into Scully mode. That old me that put 
up that wall of resistance against these men. It had been a while so I found 
it hard to stomache what they said, but after the intial nausea they old me 
returned and I could put up a hateful front. 

I had a lot to be hateful for. Mulder's father wasn't the only one still 
alive. So was Deep Throat, X, Jeffery Spender, Diana Fowley. There was the 
Smoking Man. The man I hadn't seen in three years. I had assumed him dead I 
saw him so often.

They told us that this was our chance to start a resistance against the count 
down. That the colonization was due at any time and this was our chance. I 
felt sick. 

With about 50 armed men we were lined up to stop another mass burning. I was 
ready to throw up preferably on William Mulder. Damn him for bringing Mulder 
and I back to here. Damn him for calling. 
    
    "You know Fox," Began the man who cheated death. "at first I didn't want 
to call you. I knew you and you're girlfriend had your own life," I wonder if 
he even knows how close I am to hitting him? "but I knew this is something 
you deserve to know about. This was something we needed you for and I know 
you wouldn't turn it down. Not after all the years you spent chasing this."
    Fox was happy to be excepted by his father. Somewhat. He was happy to be 
invited to learn what he so boldly sought for almost ten years. Damn him. 
Damn me for thinking he could put it behind him. Damn everything.
    Mulder and I managed to sneak a few minutes before we were to leave. I 
had wondered if the old Mulder was completely back. I was more relieved than 
I thought I would when I found the old one wasn't even there.
    "Danes," Mulder began, leading away from the militia by the small of my 
back. "I hate putting you in this danger. I hate putting both of us here. I'm 
so stupid for not contacting back up." Mulder was having second thoughts. 
This scared me. The old Mulder would have never done that. 
    "Fox," I said cautiously, using his first name for effect. A rare thing I 
did, usually reserved for intimate love making, "we had no idea. No idea what 
was going to happen. I feel just as worried as you."
    Mulder cupped and stroked my cheeks. "I'm going to marry you Dana." 
Mulder declared. Then added solemnly. "If we live."
    A sharp pang in my side. If we live. 

I never though myself immortal. But I never really understood the whole 
mission. Now I don't even want to. I went in there and did what I thought 
needed to be done. I wasn't armed as heavily as the others. My job was to 
administer medical treatment. I couldn't do much when there was fighting all 
around me. 

The fight was quick though, there was only about 20 of them and over 50 of 
us. There was major casualities on both sides. I couldn't tell you exaxctly 
how many. I was of the wounded. 


I awoke in a DC hospital. I knew it was DC because I had been there many 
times before. My face ached. I could tell my face had burns. My wrist was in 
as cast, my body was numb to pain. Ahhh Morphine. 

While I was focusing on the Morphine's brilliance I noticed Mulder at my side 
with my mother. They seemed worried and relieved. 
    "Hey." Mulder called.
    "How long have I been asleep?"
    "That's your biggest question?" Mulder laughed.
    "Mulder what happened."
    "What happened is you were helping Diana with her burns-"
    "It was late." I waved him off. 
    "And you were knocked out of the way. No one was out to hurt you 
specially."
    "Is that good?"
    "Good. Very, very good."    
    "Mom, are you okay?"
    "I'm fine. You're fine, Fox's fine. Fine." Mom was holding back tears. 
    "Mom, are you sure you are okay?"
    "I'll get over it." She assured.
Mulder and my mother exchanged glances. She nodded and kissed me on the 
forehead before leaving the room.

Mulder looked straigh at me and picked up my hand and kissed it. I smiled. 
This wasn't a bad way to wake up. Too bad what I woke up from. We stayed in 
silence for a few minutes before Fox became solemn. He had worry lines etched 
into his face. 
    "What's wrong?" I asked.
    "Colonization has begun." 
    I was taken back. "What about it?" I asked lamely.
    "Danes, I'm going to forward about this, they want me to help them fight 
and I said yes."
    "Great!" I said in fake sincerity. "We discussed it so much-"
    "You don't have to be sarcastic."
    "And You don't have to do this."
    "I gave them my word. I can't go back on-"
    "Oh, don't give me that. These people, of ALL people know what it's like 
to go back on your word."
    "I'm not them."
    "But you want to be." Mulder's face looked guilty. "Mulder, you don't 
have to pretend that you hate them still, I know you despised them as well as 
envied them. Mulder, I was there, I saw they way you looked at them as they 
causually, killed everything living in them. No, Mulder, don't be them. Don't 
join them."
    "I have to. It's not about my word. It's about me, it's about ending 
something I started."
    "What about us? Are you going to end this? . . . Or leave it open?" I 
didn't want an answer to that. Not really.
    "I'm ending it." 
    "Like that. . . " Mulder was silent. "What about you telling me you were 
going to marry me? You've said it so many times before, I knew one day that 
it had to come true. . .  You're leaving me for them?" 
    "Yes." Mulder was holding back the tears. . . So was I. "I'm not doing it 
for me. I'm doing it so you can be free. Get away from me. Stay with your 
mother, find another man-" 
    I cut him off. "I don't want it to end like this."
    "I didn't-"
    "I didn't want to fall in love with you for that matter. But I did."
    "What are you-"
    "I don't know. Just that you're going to go save the world, please go 
ahead. For what it's worth I can't imagine a better person for the job. Then, 
there's me. I'm staying. I've been in and out of that life and I can honestly 
say that I'm never going to do this again." My voice began to weaken. "But, I 
can also, honestly say that you and I aren't through. Maybe one day, if we're 
lucky we'll get a second chance." Mulder's eyes lit up. I suppose this was my 
way of saying that I'll wait for him. "There's no promises but-"
    "Leave it at that." He begged. "Leave it. I don't want anything else from 
you Scully. Just give me the maybe's and I'll just try to show up." 

Mulder kissed my hand before he left. That was all he took with him. But for 
everything he took, he gave one simple thing: his soul. And for every cliche, 
for every love song, for every preach of damn nation, it was worth it. For 
him, that was the only thing they had not yet taken from him. All his worth 
summed in deepth into a single word with infinite meaning. 

I gave him no promises, but he gave me his soul for reassurance. That was the 
end of my affair with Fox William Mulder. Laying in hospital bed, running off 
to save the world, with no certain continuation, that was the end. 

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