From: Maria Date: Sat, 1 Jan 2000 14:16:26 -0800 (PST) Subject: xfc: Death of an Ice Maiden. 1/1 Source: xfc Author: Maria O'Rourke. Title: End of an Ice Maiden. Part: 1/1 Feedback: dk_scully_101@yahoo.com Summary: A fight which occurs between Mulder and Scully leaves more repercussions then anyone could imagine. Classifications: Mulder Angst, Scully Angst. Author's Notes: This was written in answer to a fan fic challenge which was issued from Snow Fic. The Prologue is part of the challenge. Disclaimer: They don't belong to me. Mulder and Scully and Skinner and probably all the other characters that you recognise belong to 1013 and Fox and DD, GA, CC and all the other men in suits...... The song used, is used without permission and belongs to Shania Twain and all associated with her. *x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x**x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x I always resented being called cold, being labelled the ice queen. Cold is a thick and callous thing that stabs so far into your heart that your instinct can't help but to pump it's poison into every limb of your body, and knead it's infectious despair into the core of your very soul. Am I really that terrible to be compared to such a monstrosity of nature? It was only recently, in my most innocent of behaviours, did I learn that Mulder thought so. *x*x*x*x*x* 12:34pm. *x*x*x*x*x* Mulder's head was swimming with the facts of the new case that lay spread across his desk. Sighing, he ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath. "Scully?" he asked, leaving his eyes closed as he laid his forehead on his hands. "Scully?!" he repeated, raising his voice slightly. Still no answer. "Scully!" he almost shouted towards her, looking up through his hands. "Huh?" she asked, not even looking around at him. He sighed and sat back. "I'm tired Scully...." he moaned and crossed his arms over his chest. "What?" she asked, still typing away at her computer. He watched her in silence for a moment before she stopped and turned to him. "Sorry Mulder..." she apologised. "What did you say?" He sighed and leaned back in the chair and looked at her. "I said that I'm tired Scully..." he said, she just glanced at him. "*Tired* Scully...." he threw his hands up in the air. "*Tired*, you know.... that thing you get when you work constantly?" "I know what tired is Mulder..." she answered curtly. "Really?" he asked and he rose. "I didn't think that you did...." "Mulder....." she began, rising. He strode past her but she grabbed his arm. "Mulder wait..." she pleaded but he turned and looked at her. "I'm tired, I need a coffee....." he answered and pulled his arm away from her. He opened the door, without looking back, and then slammed it shut after him. She turned around and bit her lip, looking at the mess that was Mulder's desk. Taking a step closer she looked at the wooden construction a little more intently. Her eyes centred on a small scrap of paper. The date was written six or seven times all over it and she turned away, hand on forehead. "Shit!" she muttered. *x*x*x*x* "Hey Mulder!" he turned, hearing his voice being called. He saw Skinner walking towards him, through the huddled corridor. Agents passed by as Mulder began to walk again, Skinner beside him. "How are you?" he asked and Mulder kept walking. "Fine sir, thank you...." he answered, reaching the coffee room. He walked in and Skinner followed, closing the door behind him, leaving only Mulder and Skinner inside. "How's the case coming along?" he asked and Mulder turned. "Sir..." he began, stirring his coffee and then looking up. "I know that you didn't corner me to talk about the case..." Skinner looked uncomfortably at his agent. "No, Mulder..." he admitted and let his hand slip into his pocket. "Its the 23rd of November..." "I'm well aware of the date sir, thank you..." he answered, still stirring the coffee. "Its the day that..." he paused. "Your sister was taken....." "And today is the day that I have to finally realise that she's not coming back!" he finished and finally took a sip of the coffee. He winced as it scorched his lips and he realised that he'd forgotten to put milk in. He placed the cup on the side-board and turned to Skinner. "I received the order to shut down the case today...." he answered and Mulder sighed, pouring in the milk. "I'm glad someone remembered...."he stated and Skinner's eyebrow rose. "Scully didn't know?" "She must have forgot.." Skinner looked to the coffee machine as if he wished to crawl into it, away from Mulder. He was sorry that he'd even approached the agent. "It's an easy mistake Mulder...." he replied and Mulder swallowed a gulp of coffee. "Not when its supposed to be your damned life crusade!" he shouted, slamming the cup down on the table. "Mulder..." Skinner began, trying to calm him down but Mulder was seeing red. "The one day of the year that I ask for a little compassion, a little time and...." he paused, his hands flying into the air. "And she doesn't give a damn!" "I'm..." he began again but Mulder went on as if he wasn't even there. "I suppose its not something which I should be surprised about, she didn't get the name Ice Queen for nothing...." "Mulder, that's going out of line!" he ordered, taking a step towards the younger agent. "Is it?" he asked. Skinner tried to clam him down by placing his hand on his shoulder. Mulder shrugged it off and walked to the corner of the small room. "How many times have you seen her show any sign of compassion?" he asked, his features wild. "When she was sitting by your bedside, worried sick!" he retorted and Mulder sighed, his anger lessening slightly and then suddenly increasing. "I don't have to listen to this shit!" he shouted and opened the door , turning to face none other then a very surprised Scully. *x*x*x*x*x* She didn't know how she could've forgotten. Yes she did, she was over-run with work, that's why. She should've known though. She should've looked at the damned calender. That's why she was walking down towards the coffee room now. She was going to apologise. She knew that it had been insensitive of her not to remember but she'd had a lot on her plate. But still, it was no excuse. Mulder was her best friend and if he couldn't count on her then who could he count on? After all, she could always count on him. She was approaching the coffee room when she saw that there were several agents gathered outside. She immediately thought of Mulder. Something must be wrong. She pushed past two agents who at first were turning around in anger, but, on seeing who it was, they were silenced. "What's going on?" she demanded and an agent began to chuckle. "That wacko Mulder is throwing a nut...." the man began. "Always knew that spooky wou-" he stopped mid-sentence as he turned to face a fuming Agent Scully. "Is that right?" she asked, eyebrow arched so far that the agent in front of her was sure that it would shoot right off her forehead. "I...I'm sorry Agent Scully......" he began but she cut him off. "Its *Special* Agent, now get out of my way..." she ordered and the man stood aside but a woman stood behind him. "I don't think you should go in there Dana...." she said and Scully recognised her. It was Holly. "Holly..." "I'm serious Dana..." she answered and Scully had never seen such determination. Her attention was caught as sounds began to emit from the room. She pushed past Holly and got closer to the door. "Dana.." Holly began but Scully put her hand up to silence her. She turned back to Holly, her face a mass of creases and worry lines. Holly thought that she could see the Agent's eyes change colour as they filled with water. But, as soon as she saw them, Dana swung her head back to the door as a flushed Mulder opened it. *x*x*x*x*x* Mulder's face was frozen for a moment before it could register that Scully was even in front of him. She seemed to freeze momentarily and then he saw her eyes water and her jaw clench. "You son of a bitch!" she spat and he didn't see her hand until he felt it slap across his face. His jaw stung as he watched her walk off down the corridor. He looked around the corridor, seeing a small gathering of agents, they shook their heads slightly in disgust before walking away. A woman he recognised from the Robert Model case walked over to him. "She's right and you should have to take all the shit that Skinner or anyone else chooses to throw at you!"she said with such menace that Mulder actually saw the pain which he had laid on Scully's shoulders in those few moments of rage. He looked around as he saw Skinner come out from behind him. He walked past him without a word. Mulder took his hand away from his jaw and sighed. What the hell had he done? *x*x*x*x*x*x*x* PART TWO. *x*x*x*x*x*x*x* The tear drops feel from her crystal blue eyes as she stood in front of the mirror in the basement bathroom. Staring at her reflection she shook her head slightly and bit her lip, trying to quench her tears. "There you go again..." she said to herself. "Trying to stop your emotions, that's what got you here in the first place isn't it?" She shook her head again. What the hell had happened? She never knew that Mulder felt the way he did. How could he have embarrassed her like that? How could he have *humiliated* her the way he had? Couldn't he have told her how he felt? "How can you tell someone that they're the Ice Queen?" she asked herself bitterly. It wasn't fair. Mulder had been the first person that she had ever trusted fully and that was a hard thing for her to do and to accept. Her life had been taken up fully with their "life crusade" as he had called it. She'd sacrificed everything for him and this was the way he'd repaid her? She closed her eyes, envisioning the look he had given her coming out of that coffee room. She'd never seen his expression like that. When she heard him say it, she had some half hearted fantasy that maybe he didn't mean it. She knew by his expression that he meant it. Her only companion thought that she was emotionless. Her only friend had turned against her. The only ally which she had come to depend on had turned his back on her. She returned her gaze to the mirror and saw a dribble of blood escaping from her nostril. She sighed and began to wipe it away with a piece of white tissue paper. As the blood was soaked up, the tissue no longer remained white and instead began to turn an off white. It was then that the door was knocked. She turned. *x*x*x*x*x* "Fuck!" he muttered, hitting his fist against the desk. "Fuck!" he almost yelled, sweeping his hands along the desk and swiping the whole bunch of case-notes from his desk. He swept his left hand through his hair and sighed. What the hell had he done? What the bloody hell had he done? Mulder's feet carried him across his basement office floor and he dug each footstep into the cement. Each time he reached her desk, he'd sigh and turn the other way, not wanting to face what he had done. He'd turned on her. He'd gone against everything which had kept him alive. He'd rejected her feelings as if they were nothing, as if they were snow flakes on a summer's day. He'd lost her. No, he shook his head. He couldn't have lost her. He couldn't face losing her, he'd already lost his sister today. He turned on his heel and walked into the hallway, he'd have to go and look for her. He'd have to find her and it was then that he heard water spurting from inside the basement toilet. His hand had knocked before he had fully processed the thought. *x*x*x*x*x* She remained in silence as she continued to wipe away the last remains of the caked blood from her nose. Mulder's knocking on the door gave way to pounding when she didn't answer him. "Scully!" he pleaded but she closed off his voice from her ears. "Scully.." he began , stopping the pounding momentarily. "Please, I'm sorry...." She let a small puff of air escape from her lips in a sarcastic manner. Sorry? It was going to take more then a "sorry" from Mulder to fix this. *x*x*x*x*x*x* Mulder lay his head against the door and let his body eventually slide against the wall until he was sitting on the ground. He put his head in his hands and sighed. "I didn't mean for you to hear what I said Scully..." he admitted and he raised his head as he heard the door open. "I can't believe that you said those things!" she said, her voice just a hint below shouting. He looked up and saw that her eyes were red rimmed, showing she'd been crying. "How could you have said those things?" she wondered, her voice now quieter then before. He began to get up but she pushed him down towards the ground, making him sit still. She felt that she had more power over him when she was above him. He looked up and she sighed, beginning to pace around the room. "I didn't mean for you to hear..." he admitted again. "I was angry.." "I heard..." she replied and her voice was filled with sarcasm. "No really...." he said, rising as she had her back turned. "I'm sorry.." "Sorry doesn't cut it Mulder..." she admitted, turning around. "What you said was...." her eyes rose to meet his and he froze. The hurt was written clearly within those deep pools of blue. "That was one..." she stopped herself, shaking her head. "No, that was *the* most hurtful thing that anyone has ever said to me...." He looked at her face, seeing that she was not going to be easily won over. "Anyone Mulder..." she repeated and he closed his eyes. "And I've met a lot of torment in my life..." Stories of her life at school and the academy and even the FBI spun around inside his mind. He shook his head and she sighed. "That's why I've come to a decision..." she announced. He looked up and met her steely determination. "I'm going to quit..." she finished and he stood shocked. *x*x*x*x*x*x*x* PART THREE. *x*x*x*x*x*x*x* "What?" he asked but she stood silent for a moment and then she folded her arms across her chest. "I said that I'm quitting...." she repeated slower. He shook his head. "But why?" he asked, knowing the answer. "You should know why..." she began. "I can't work with someone who thinks that I'm..." she paused, her expression changing slightly but then returning. "A cold callous person who has no feelings whatsoever......" "I told you..." he began but she silenced him by sticking up her hand in front of his face. "You told me nothing..." she answered. "I thought that you were one of the only people that I could fully trust..." "You can.." he insisted but she shook her head. "I can't..." she began. "I trusted you with secrets, feelings and things which I could never have confessed to anyone and then you go and publically announce that I..." She couldn't finish and instead trailed off into silence. "I've made up my mind.." she announced and his mind tried to think of something to say but he came up with nothing. He was speechless. She took that as his answer. "That's all I needed to hear..." she answered and walked past him. "I'll come to collect my things later..." Mulder watched her until he heard the ping of the elevator door and she disappeared. That was the last time that Mulder ever saw his partner again. She never did come to pick up her things and she never showed her face around the FBI Headquarters again. *x*x*x*x*x*x* PART FOUR *x*x*x*x*x*x* Closing the journal, Mulder sighed to himself, reflecting on the past year with remorse. He turned his gaze to the photograph across the room and stared at the fiery haired woman standing beside him. His former partner was huddled over a file with him as they worked on a past case, one of their last. He'd never seen her after that day, over a year ago. She'd left their office to speak to Skinner and he'd never seen her again. He'd left it for three days before he'd gone to talk to Skinner. He'd been blunt that he couldn't disclose anything which Scully had told him and so Mulder had thought that she just needed time to cool down, he was wrong. A week later, he found Skinner packing her things into a box, removing everything that belonged to her from the office. His only reply was that she had quit. Nothing more, nothing less. He'd spent a restless week looking for her, finding her apartment empty and for sale and, in the end, finding even her mother didn't know that she had gone. She had truly disappeared. He was left with a heart full of sorrow and an empty office. He rose from the couch and padded softly across to the sideboard, gazing at the picture as he went but then he stopped short as the telephone rang. He turned and gazed at the blinking telephone receiver. *x*x*x*x*x* Her frail hand closed over the cover of her journal and she sighed as she finally let it shut gently. Her eyes closed as she allowed her head to rest on the stiff pillow beneath her. There was little to do but to re-read the passage which she had just finished. In the starch light of the hospital room, Scully re-opened her journal and began to read the passage she'd just written. **x*x*x*x*x*x* "Finding that my life has been empty without the fulfilment that the X-Files brought to me, I found myself searching my previous profession for solitude. At first, the medical profession brought back the same excited chill down my spine which the X-Files always had, but the buzz soon wore off as I glimpsed into the eyes of depressed and sick children and people." "Maybe it was the fact that I am now faced with the prospect of staying in one of those numerous hospitals to await the treatment that I had previously dealt out, that was the problem. Or maybe it was the fact that I had nobody to share it with." "Forgetting the meaning of one day is something which I had done and for that I have had to face an endless torture. Well, in all fact, when I say endless, its more the span of a year. A year away from Mulder and I fear, my last." "The cancer which had re-appeared in the last few weeks of my working at the FBI, has now been working its way steadily through my body and, once again, has worked its way into my bloodstream. This time, there is no magical cure and there will be no miracle treatments. I, after much crying and hysterics, have come to the final realisation that it is, indeed, my time to go." "Working my way through days that had no end, as the sickness and fevers that my illness has provided conquered my life, has been a turbulent journey, for my family as well as myself. Now, I pray, it will soon come to rest." Her hand closed on the last page as her eyes closed shut and she fell into a dreamless sleep filled with nothing but bleak darkness. *x*x*x*x* His footsteps echoed from the walls of the stark hospital. He'd seen too many hospitals in his life, he'd decided that a long time ago. He glimpsed an elderly couple sitting in the waiting room, hands clenched together, faces empty of anything. He walked further and saw a man and woman, much the same age as himself, crying over the limp body of a young girl. Nurses and doctors gave their condolences but he knew that it wouldn't have mattered to the couple. The only thing that had matter to them was lying on the bed now, gone. Biting his lip, he approached the door that he'd been directed to and he knocked gently. Hearing no noise or response from within, he opened the door and stepped inside. Shutting the door as quietly as he had opened it, he watched as the woman in front of him slept. He watched the steady rise and fall of her chest as her closed lids moved erratically. She was dreaming. He took a step closer, laying the flowers he'd brought with him on the table beside her bed. He found himself sitting in the empty chair before the thought had occurred to him. In the year or so that they had been apart she had changed. She hadn't changed to the fact that he didn't recognise her, not that much, but she had changed none the less. She looked older, even older than himself. Her face was thinner then he remembered and the veins on her hands were protruding from under her pale skin. Yes, she was paler also. She was as white as ice. He froze. After their last conversation, that was the last thing that he should be thinking of. He shook his head slightly, not having the heart to waken her, so he just watched. He watched as she slept, occasionally moving around, but always facing him. Her eyes, even closed, pierced his own with a familiarity that made it seem as if they'd never been apart. A noise emitted from her direction and he turned his full attention to her. She muttered something that he couldn't hear and so he bent down lower, his ear level with her mouth, until he could decipher what she was saying. "Mulder...." she muttered and then he heard her scream in his ear. He jumped back and found himself falling to the ground with a thud, the chair following him. "Scully..." he called, his hand going up as she came at him with her fist. She stopped, mid-air. "what's going on in here?"a woman, standing at the door, ordered to know. Mulder looked from her to Scully to see the shell of his former partner hovering above him. "I'm sorry, Nurse Simmons...." apologised Scully, her voice as calm as could be. "We had an accident...." "Who is this man?" she requested to know and Mulder again looked helplessly to Scully. "He's..." she paused, trying to think of what to say. "An old work mate...." The nurse's face grew steely. "Visiting hours are over..." she informed him and Mulder shrugged. "Its official business..." Scully stated, coming to Mulder's rescue. The nurse just grunted towards Mulder's direction. "You should be resting Dr Scully..." she answered and closed the door. Scully stood looking at Mulder with something he didn't recognise in her eyes. "Happy to see me?" he asked, grinning but she didn't even smile back. "What are you doing here Mulder?" she asked, climbing back under the white sheets, pulling them up close to her chin, forming a protective barrier around herself. "Or should I say..." she looked towards him, her eyes void of any emotion. "How are you here?" He brought the chair standing again and sat on the hard cushion. "Skinner..." he began. "Skinner!" she exclaimed, an air of surprise in her voice. "*He* told you..." "He called me yesterday and told me that he wanted a meeting...." "I'm the focus of a meeting now am I?" she questioned, her eyes not blinking as she stared into his. He was forced to look away. "It wasn't like that..." he stated and she blew a sarcastic air form her nose. This slight movement caused a river of deep blood to emit from her nose. She coughed into a handkerchief Mulder supplied her with. Her body racked with the force of the hysterics for nearly three minutes, after which, when she was finished, she collapsed onto the pillows. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked and she shook her head. "When?" she questioned. "While you were telling the whole world that I was devoid of any feelings what so ever?" He shook his head. "You could've told me before that..." he answered, a little more loudly then he had intended. "When?" she demanded to know, rising up above the covers. "When I was doing the autopsy on Mr Jakes?" she paused. "Or when we were chasing Alan Franklin?" He looked at her helplessly but she was relentless. "Or maybe when I was lying in hospital from a gunshot wound to the shoulder?" she questioned and he was silenced. "You..." he began but stopped short. "What?" she demanded and when he didn't answer she carried on herself. "How could I have told you when all you see is your work?" "I watched you..." he admitted but she shook her head. "You looked.." she retorted. "There's a difference...." "I'm sorry...." he answered but she shook her head. "I told you a year ago Mulder..." she said . "sorry doesn't cut it..." She turned around on her back and faced the opposite wall. Mulder stared at her back for over three minutes before working up enough courage to speak. "So what happens now?" he asked, his voice cracking slightly as he looked at her form, unmoving. "You go....." she replied coldly. "And you don't come back..." "What?" he asked in disbelief but she didn't even turn around. "You should've never come back...." she added. He rose slowly, disbelief pumping through his veins but he couldn't think straight. He had to leave, had to get out, had to go and think. He had to run away. He turned and walked towards the door, turning before he finally left. "I never wanted you to hear what I said....." he said and sighed, turning away. *x*x*x*x*x* PART FIVE *x*x*x*x*x* The crystal tears escaped from her eyes as she allowed her face to seep into the silken sheets. The images of his face appeared before her eyes and she grimaced to herself as she re-ran the things she had said to him in her mind. She hadn't meant to be so tough on him. She hadn't meant to push him away. The things that he had said all that time ago came back to haunt her. Was what he said true? Did she always turn the cold cheek to every situation that normal people would cringe at? Was she indeed the cold Ice Maiden that he had proclaimed her to be? She shuddered and gripped the pillow again. Trying to desperately quench her tears, but failing. *x*x*x*x*x* Mulder sat outside the door and held his head in his hands, the world about him was a blur. He saw nothing but her face looking at him through tear-filled eyes. "Are you still here?" he heard a voice question from above him and he looked up to face the nurse standing in front of him. "Leave me alone..." he muttered weakly and he felt the bench on which he sat heave slightly as she sat beside him. Mulder's eyes remained fixated on the ground below him. "What's wrong?" she asked gently and Mulder shrugged. "Where should I start?" he asked, raising his body and sighing gently. "How about why you're here?" she asked and he smiled slightly. "That'd take forever..." he answered and she chuckled slightly. "Forever is a long time and I don't think that she has that long..." she answered and he turned to face her. "How long has she?" he asked grimly and she shrugged. "Nobody can say..." she admitted truthfully. "A day, a week..." she paused and looked up to face him. "An hour..." He sighed and looked at the white wall in front of him. He ran a hand through his brown locks and leaned his head against the back of the bench. "You love her?" she asked, no beating around the bush for her. He nodded mutely. "You've a funny way of showing it, I'll give you that..." she replied and he turned to her to see her face smiling towards him. "Do you joke about everything?" he asked and she shook her head. "Only the things which other people are too damned serious about.." she answered and he looked away. "She doesn't want to see me..." he answered but she shook her head slightly. "I don't think that you're the kind of man to give up something so easily..." He smiled, shaking his head. "Tell her..." she said, rising. "Thank you.." he began, looking up to find the corridor empty of anyone but him. He looked around but could see the nurse nowhere. He rose and knocked gently on Scully's door. *x*x*x*x* "I thought that I told you to go.." she said as soon as he entered. He smiled brightly. In the background he could hear the words of some unknown song playing from the radio on her bedside table. "When have I ever listened to you?" he asked and she didn't turn around to face him. She just kept her back to him. He took the seat beside her. "I'm sorry about what I said to you...." he admitted. "I know that it's not the big apology that you wanted but its a start......" "No Mulder...." she began, gently turning around on her side to face him, her face covered in the stains of her tears. "Its the end..." "You can't give up..." he stated and she shook her head. "I gave up on everything that day..." she admitted and he sat back, the final realisation of the impact his words had, hitting him full belt. "I tried to find you...." he stated and she sighed. "I know..." she agreed feebly. "I watched you the day you came to my mother's house..." "She said that she didn't know where you were...." he answered, a hint of anger in his voice. "Since when have you trusted someone?" she asked and he took her hand. "I've trusted you since the day I met you...." he answered but she shook her head. "I can't trust you anymore..." she replied, withdrawing her hand from his. The sadness in her eyes made his voice shake as he spoke. "That day...." he began. "Samantha's case was officially ordered closed....." "I never knew..." she admitted and he nodded. "Because I never told you..." he replied. "I expected you to know..." "The way I expected you to know about my cancer..." she whispered, her voice shaking slightly. "We both have our faults Scully..." he began. "And a common one that we share is taking the other for granted...." "I'm not following.." she answered. "We've been together so long..." he began. "We've been through so much together that we expect each other to know what the other is thinking.." he paused, seeing that she was following he continued. "There are some things which need to be said and not guessed...." She remained in silence, watching the ever-changing shade of his eyes. They changed so many times while he spoke that she was memorized. The power of his words struck her. "Why has it taken you this long to say this?" she questioned and he smiled sadly. "It wasn't until I'd lost you that I realised how much I really needed you..." he admitted and she sat up straighter. "Just what exactly are you saying here Mulder?" she queried and he ran a hand through his hair. "I've thought about this a lot...." he began, rising from the chair and sitting on the edge of her bed. He took her hand in his. "I could never decide how to tell you..." he said and she smiled, looking into his eyes. "There are some things which don't need to be said..." she replied and he looked up to her, catching sight her mouth descending onto his and closing gently on his lips. She pushed against him, releasing his hand and letting her own hands travel up along his back. When she drew away, her face changed colour slightly as she gazed at his face. He touched his upper lip and saw on his fingertips that there was blood on them, not his. Looking back up to her he saw her nose bleeding profusely. "Scully?" he asked but she didn't reply, just stared straight ahead. "Scully!?" he cried, jumping from the bed and running for help down the corridor. *x*x*x*x*x* PART SIX *x*x*x*x*x* "I'm afraid that she has indeed lapsed into a coma..." the doctor standing in front of him said gently. Mulder sighed and let his head fall to his hands. "Is..." a woman's voice queried from beside Mulder. "Is there any chance for her to wake up?" The doctor smiled slightly. "Talk to her, let her know that you're here..." he answered. "Its not unheard of for someone in her condition to reawaken..." "But not live.." Mulder finished, looking up. The doctor grimly nodded and Mulder bit his lip. "How long?" he asked numbly. The doctor shrugged. "We are allowing three days before we switch off the machine..." he finished and nodded and walked out of the room. "I'm glad you're here Fox...." the woman across the room said and he looked up to face Mrs Scully looking intently at Scully. "Skinner called me..." he supplied. "I know.." she said and he looked up. "*You* told him to call me?" "Dana told me that I shouldn't tell you..." she said. "But she didn't tell you not to tell Skinner to tell me?" She nodded mutely. "I'm glad you were here for her last..." "She'll wake up again..." "I need some air.." she said and rose, taking her handbag with her. She walked out of the door and he took the place beside her bed. *x*x*x*x*x* The snow was falling in patterns across the window sill as Mulder's hand held hers as he related to her what had happened to him over the year they had been apart. There were occasional tears and even less smiles as he told her inch by inch the amount he'd missed her. He'd been doing that for the last three days. Her time was running out and he or she was none the better because of his futile efforts to awaken her. Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair, looking around to Mrs Scully, sleeping in the corner chair. He turned his gaze towards the window and watched the small amount of snow flakes descending onto the ground below. It hadn't stopped snowing for the whole three days he'd been talking to her. It was almost comforting. "Mulder?" someone behind him croaked and he spun around, taking in Scully's fluttering eyelids with a mixture of fear and hope. "Scully?!" he questioned, almost grabbing her hand with his. She opened those beautiful crystal eyes and looked at him sadly. "What happened?" she asked, coughing. "You collapsed..." he answered, hearing the slight movement of Mrs Scully in the background. She didn't approach them. Scully's eyes lifted up to meet his with s strong intensity that he had never seen before. "I'm sorry..." she answered and his expression changed to one of puzzlement. "Why?" he asked, trying to stop the tears from falling. "For having to leave you..." she answered and he shook his head. "You're not going anywhere..." he assured but she closed her eyes painfully and licked her drying lips. "I'm dying Mulder..." she stated, as if it was an everyday occurrence. "No..." he begged, grabbing her hand tighter. "You can't..." "I shouldn't have left you..." she admitted and he bit his lip. "Don't..." he pleaded and she squeezed his hand. The hum of the radio in the background reached his ears. Her voice penetrated his ear drum. "Do you think that I'm unfeeling?" she asked and his face rose. "Oh God no..." he assured and she smiled half- heartedly. "Promise me something Mulder..." she began, a coughing fit taking over from speech for a moment. "Anything..." he assured and she cleared her throat. "Promise me that you won't blame yourself..." she said. "I can't..." he began but she re-opened her eyes and looked into his. "Please.." she almost begged and he mutely nodded. "I won't ever leave you..." "Ms Scully..." a voice came from behind them and Mulder turned. The doctor stood in the doorway. "Turn it off.." she answered, before he had a chance to say anything. He nodded but Mulder stopped him. "You can't do that!" he protested but she touched his arm. "Its what I want.." she insisted and he turned to her. There were coral blue tears flooding from her crystal eyes and he felt a strange tingling sensation in his brain, momentarily numbing the pain he was felt grow inside his heart. He descended onto her lips and kissed her gently. "I promise..." he whispered against her lips and she smiled. Rising, the flip of the switch was like a thing he'd watched in a movie. She clutched the sheet, a final gasp of air and then it was over. He watched as she lay on the starch white sheets. He saw Mrs Scully's body sprawl across her daughter's body and he turned, the radio catching his attention. "I won't leave you lonely tonight," the voice of Shania Twain met his ears. "I want you to hold me all night...." "Its gonna be alright," "I won't leave you lonely tonight..." "Imagine the air filled with jasmine," "The breeze blows with passion, "You and me dance with desire," "The moon is on fire." Mulder began to trudge down the corridor of the hospital and envisioned, not the two of them dancing in the passion filled breeze, but in the dark, dank office. He saw her look up to him and smiled. He would see that smile and feel the brush of her lips against his till the day he died. Gone were the blame filled memories of the fight they'd had and replacing them was the few momentous hours he'd spent with her. Mulder exited the hospital and made his way throw the falling snow. He was going to think about those last few hours. The snow had finally stopped. *x*x*x*x*x*x*x* ===== "The real danger is not that machines will start thinking like men, but that men will start thinking like machines.." - Sydney J.Harris "Don't hate me cause I'm beautiful..." -Fox Mulder. "Baby me and you'll be peeing through a cathiter..."- Scully "Mulder, you just keep unfolding like a flower..." - Scully. You can find my website at http://geocities.com/Area51/Meteor/4816