All the same old disclaimers that are on every story I've ever written
apply here.  We know who the X-Files belong to and it ain't me.  No
copyright theft intended here and no money is being made by me!


This one is a PG. It contains a few curse words.  It takes place right after
"The End" 
and is one of two stories I've written about that episode from slightly 
different points of view. Mulder doesn't come across as very caring in 
the beginning of this, but do not despair.  I expect that "no ros" had 
better run.


Summary: Scully gets into a snit when Mulder rejects her attempts to
comfort him after the fire in their office.


Spoilers: "The End" and brief references to early episodes.


I finished this on June 30, 1998.  Thanks to V. Moseley for giving a read
through for me.



"The End, or a New Beginning"

                 by


      Macspooky@erols.com


Fox Mulder felt his partner put her hands on his arms and
rest her head against his chest.  Funny, his mind thought,
he could smell her shampoo, the scent of her hair permeating
his nostrils even over the smell of the fire.  He wanted to reach
 out and put his arms around her, but he was paralyzed.  He couldn't
move.  All he could do was stand there and stare at his, no,
that wasn't right, not right at all, their life's work, or
rather the ruin of it.  When he finally could bring himself
to move, he pushed her away and turned and walked out.  He
heard her following behind, following him the way she
always did, following him into sadness and loss and death
and sterility.


Skinner stopped them.  "I'm sorry, Mulder," the man said
softly, "but I've been ordered to put you and your partner
on paid leave pending reassignment.  I'll do what I can, but
for now I'm stuck." Skinner felt terrible.  Mulder was one
of the most dedicated young men he had ever known.  He and
his partner had a solve rate that was tops in the Bureau.  It
angered him that the powers that be would not leave the
man and his partner alone, and he resented the fact that the
corruption had not been rooted out with the death of
Blevins.  It ran too deep for that.  It would be a long time, if
ever, before it was fully discovered and eliminated.


Mulder just nodded dully and started walking again.  It was
exactly what he had expected.  He didn't see the look that
Scully shot Skinner as she began to follow him again.  It
was as well that Skinner hadn't seen it either.  Somehow,
he got to her car and got in the passenger's side.  It was a
given that she would drive.  He was in no condition.  The
ride was silent and uncomfortable.  There was so much he
wanted to tell her, but he couldn't form the words, couldn't
find the energy to open his mouth to say them.


Finally they arrived at his building and she pulled into a
parking space.  Of course it had started to rain.  It was
inevitable that it should.  The weather only added to the
bleakness.


"Don't come up with me, Scully," he said.  "I need space. 
I've just lost my life's work.  I couldn't stand the thought
of company right now."


The next thing he knew she was out of the car and opening
his door. He found himself on his ass on the pavement with
her foot raised.  His partner of five years was getting ready
to give him a good hard kick in the balls.  All 90 pounds of
her had managed to haul his six foot frame out of that door
and she was coming at him like a soaking wet blind fury. 
Fortunately for him, she stopped before impact.


"Scully, what the hell..." he spluttered.  He was stunned. 
One moment she had been consoling him and now she was
trying to kick him when he was down, literally.


"Your life's work?  It's always been your f**king life's
work hasn't it Mulder?  Never mind the fact that I've lost
my sister, and my ability to have children and nearly lost
my life....it's your life's work.  Well, I'm not going to love
you anymore, Mulder.  I'm not.  I'm going to start hating
you.  I'm going to make myself.  It' s too bad Ed Jerse didn't
kill me after he f**ked me.  I'd have been better off.  My
brother was right about you.  You are a selfish son of a
bitch."


With that she was back in her car and pulling away with
squealing wheels leaving him sitting on the pavement in
complete and total shock.  Finally, slowly, he got up and
dragged his way to his apartment andcollapsed on his couch.
What the hell had come over her?  Oh yeah, they had been
under pressure....terrible pressure.


As he lay there, he thought about her words.  "I'm not
going to love you any more.  I'm going to start hating you. 
I'm going to make myself." God, what a jerk he was.  He had
stood there amongst the ruins of his, no their work, and he
had let her embrace him, and then he had pushed her away
just like he had done that night when the two of them had
done the illegal stakeout on Tooms.  Shit.  That night she had
told him that he was the only one she would put herself on
the line for, and he had pushed her away.  That had been a
long time ago.  Maybe his partner had finally gotten tired of
being shoved.  His eyelids felt heavy.  He was so exhausted
that he couldn't keep them open anymore.  


Dana Scully returned home still angry and heart sick.  She
didn't want to be mad at Fox Mulder, but she was hurting so
much, hurting at the loss of their work, at their impending
separation and hurting at his rejection of her.  She
believed he needed space.  She believed that he had been
unable to face company, but he had never for an instant
considered the fact that perhaps she needed him at that
moment.  Oh, it was true that she was fiercely independent,
but sometimes, just sometimes it would be nice to be
pampered a little, even just considered a little.  Hadn't she
been there for him when he had been tied down to that
hospital bed in the psychiatric ward?  Hadn't she always
been there for him except that one time on the Kritchgau
case when she had not been able to go with him to Canada
because she had had cancer and she had known she was just
too weak? 


Slipping out of her clothes, she got into the shower. 
Normally she would have preferred a long hot bath to
relax, but when she looked at the tub she thought of Eugene
Tooms and Donnie Pfaster and so instead she let the water
from the hot shower pour over her beating the tension out
of her body.  Slowly she began to unwind, but somehow she
couldn't quite let go of her anger and pain.  Finally there
was no hot water left and reluctantly she toweled herself
off and slipped into a sweat suit.  As she combed the knots
out of her hair, she told herself she was free.  She would be
reassigned.  She would not have to work with Fox Mulder
any longer.  She could have a life outside of work, perhaps
meet men, normal men, date again.  She grabbed a pillow
and lay down on the couch.  That was not what she wanted. 
She didn't want to meet men.  She didn't want to date.  She
wanted the X-Files back and most of all, she wanted Fox
Mulder in her life.  Tears began to fall and she couldn't stop
them.  Finally, her eyelids felt heavy and she dropped off to
sleep.


Fox Mulder quietly tapped on Dana Scully's door.  He had
awakened from his sleep screaming.  Neighbors had to love
him...poisoned water, guys getting shot in the hallway, his
screams.  He'd been angry with Scully when he had fallen
asleep, but then he had dreamed, dreamed of the fire in the
office only in his dream, Scully had been trapped inside. 
She had been calling him, telling him she needed him, and
he had not been able to get to her.  He had been paralyzed. 
When he had awakened, he had realized with a sudden
insight what her anger had been all about.  He had not
wanted company, but she had needed him, and like a fool, he
had pushed her away.  She was always so independent that
he had been blind to the fact that she too had lost her life's
work and did not wish to be alone.


No one answered the door and he grew worried.  Finally, he
reached into his pocket and got out her key.  Inserting it
quietly in the door, he entered her apartment.   She had
fallen asleep on the couch.  He looked down at her.  Her hair
was damp from a recent shower, but her face was streaked
with tears, tears he knew that he had caused.  Quietly he
went into the kitchen and found a vase for the dozen yellow
roses he had bought her on his way over.  It had never
occured to him to buy her flowers before, but they had
been partners then.  They were no longer.  The old rules no
longer applied.  He set them on the end table then went into
the linen closet and found an extra blanket then covered her
gently.  Then, he moved her gun out of reach not wanting to
be a target when she woke up and settled himself into a
chair to watch her sleep and to think.


Dana woke to the smell of coffee brewing.  Wait a minute. 
That didn't make sense.  She'd been alone when she had gone
to bed.  No..she hadn't gone to bed.  She had laid down on the
couch and she hadn't had a blanket either.   She sat up and
the first thing she saw was the dozen yellow roses sitting
in her grandmother's vase.  What the hell was going on?


"Hi, Sunshine," said a voice shyly coming in from her
kitchen.


"What the hell are you doing here?" she demanded her
anger flaring suddenly.


He took a seat beside her.


"Well, for one thing, I was bringing you flowers."


"You think you can just walk in here...." she sputtered
trying not to let her heart melt at the way he was looking at
her.  "It doesn't work that way, Mulder."


To her shocked surprise, his fists clenched and suddenly
tears fell from his eyes.


"Ffffox," he stuttered, "My name is Fox."


All of the anger that she had been feeling drained away from
her, and moving toward him, they melted into each others
arms.


"I won't lose you, Dana," he whispered.  "They can take
everything else away from me, no from us, but they can't
take us away from each other.  Nothing is more important
to me than you.  Not even the X-Files, not even my sister."


It had been what she wanted to hear, what she had longed to
hear.  She snuggled closer to him fighting tears once again.


"From now on we make our own rules," he continued.


"Do you know what yellow roses mean, Fox?" she
whispered finally rubbing her face against his chest.


"Yes," he replied softly, "Yellow roses mean I love you."


The End