From: "Michael S. Tumilty" Date: 17 Dec 1998 04:15:05 GMT Subject: Everyone's Invited To The Wedding! (1/1) TITLE: Everyone's Invited To The Wedding(1/1) AUTHOR: Erin Tumilty (St.) Tumilty@worldnet.att.net RATING: PG SPOILERS: None CATEGORY: Cross-over (Doctor Who), M&S Married, Humour DISTRIBUTION: Panatropic and Gossamer, everyone else ask DISCLAIMER: Talent borrows; genius steals; fan-ficcers get it off the back of a lorry, no questions asked. I don't own The X-Files. The Surfer Gaurdian does. I don't own the Doctor (any of them). He's slaving for the BBC. I don't own Benny or the title of this story, both of which sprung from the fertile mind of Paul Cornell. I don't even own this disclaimer. It was nicked from Ben Aaronovitch, and sent to the chop shop for remodeling. I figure they can't all sue me at once. SUMMARY: They finally take the dive, but Who got them up the ladder? NOTES: Be kind. This is my first finished piece of X-Files fan-fic, fluff though it may be, but I swear on the Lamp Post of Rassilon to finish the Narnia cross-over as soon as I can. -- "Do you, Dana Katherine Scully, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" "I do." "And do you, Fox William Mulder, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?" "I do." "Then, by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you Man and Wife. You may kiss the bride." Mulder removed the short veil covering Scully's face and, staring into her eyes, murmured "Don't mind if I do." *** The reception went like all wedding receptions do. Skinner, fulfilling the traditional duties of the best man, got horribly drunk and kept making toasts to "that evil smoking bastard who brought you two together." Frohike spent the evening crying into Byer's shoulder, whilst Langley sneaked into the reception hall's kitchen and replaced the groom decoration on top of the wedding cake with a Mars Attacks! figurine. As for the Mother of the Bride, she sat between her new son-in-law and the Master of Ceremonies on the dais, looking insufferably smug. The champagne had been flowing liberally for hours, and almost the entire room was suffused with a happy glow. The grins on the faces of the happy couple alone could have lit up an entire floor of basement offices. When the cake was brought out and set in front of them, Scully fell out of her chair laughing, and had to be helped up by Mulder. Instead of setting her back in her chair, he bundled the smiling woman into his lap and looked up at the wedding guests. "If you're expecting a speech, forget about it. I've got better things to do." Mr Esta, the em-cee, cleared his throat and stood up, smiling indulgently. He was tall, in a classy, all-black tuxedo. His beard was deep black, graying at the edges, and he had piercing eyes that, at first glance, might be called kind. He looked for all the world like a distinguished actor making an acceptance speech at the Academy Awards. "When I was first assigned to the X-files six months ago, I couldn't help but notice how deeply these two very-" he glanced at the necking couple sitting beside him and laughed softly, "-_restrained_ agents were in love. Everyone else noticed it too. Everyone, that is, but Agent Mulder and Agent Scully. It seems no one had gotten around to letting them in on the little secret. I, being the meddler that I am, decided to take matters into my own hands..." *** The Doctor sat at the table farthest from the very public display of affection going on on the dais, wearing a grim expression beneath his Panama hat. "Cheer up, Doctor," said Benny, waving her champagne glass in the grand manner of the happily pissed. "You've seen all the episodes I have. They would have fallen in love anyway. Just because the man responsible for it happening now is your archenemy is no reason to get sulky. Life will go on." "Do you know how many truly excellent television programmes there are in the universe, Benny?" The Doctor went on before she could answer, his voice growing more and more grim. "Six. In all the centuries, in all the galaxies, in all the multiverse, there are six. Now there are five. And if I ever find out who told the Master I was a noromo, I shall be very angry indeed." Benny sighed, knowing he meant it. She took another long sip of bubbly before the memory could sober her up. Just last year a particularly nasty supernova had caused a reality rupture. They thought that they had repaired all the damage, but apparently one shock wave passed through the Earth unnoticed, causing a young woman to say yes when she most definitely should have said no. Afterwards, the poor Doctor had gone to the TARDIS television room in anticipation of relaxing with an old favourite, only to find the resulting "accident" had grown up to cancel 'Professor X' twenty years too early. He toppled five evil governments in as many days before he returned to his old self again. "Look, Doctor, calm down. Have a drink! Have a dance!" She smiled, coyly. "That ratty looking one's been checking you out all evening. Goddess forbid you should get a little fun out-" She paused, mid-drunken rant. "What are you doing?" The Doctor had removed his hat and, having taken a small book from the hatband, was riffling through its pages. "I'm looking up Chris Carter's address. The Master isn't the only megalomaniac with a hand in this, you know." "Oh, no. Oh no you don't, Doctor! Not after what happened last time. That poor Mr Penswick never wrote another word in his life." But the Doctor had already gotten up and was walking purposefully towards the exit. He almost collided with a large, sulky bear of a man coming in, but only paused long enough to say, "My condolences, Bill," before stalking out and slamming the door behind him. "Oh, Goddess-" muttered Benny, then jumped as she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked behind her and did her best to focus. The man was tall, wearing an Edwardian's velvet waistcoat and an eight-old's grin. "Oh, it's you Doctor. I thought you weren't coming. You said something about the Blinovitch effect-" He nodded. "-Although I think you were just afraid of /him/ sicking Ace on you." His grin turned sheepish. "It had to be done, Benny, for the greater good of the universe. Even if it does make some of my prior incarnations a little tetchy-" "Greater good of the universe, my bottom!" she said, rolling her eyes. "If he finds out it was you who let it slip, we're both in deep trouble. Dammit, Doctor, next time you get the urge to write fan-fiction, just use the internet like everyone else." -- 2EveryonesInvitedToTheWedding.TuTEXTttxt 2i32styl "@