From: "Christine Wendel" Date: Mon, 19 Jul 2004 11:44:42 +0200 (MEST) Subject: FATE (2/2) by Christine Wendel ------------------------------------------------------------ FATE (2/2) by Christine Wendel He stormed through the door, closely followed by Scully. "What the hell happened?!" Shannon`s room was full of agents, but it took Mulder only a second to spot the one he was looking for. He was pressing a cloth against his head, looking extremely uncomfortable. Mulder`s eyes fixed on him. "So?" he said expectantly. "She coldcocked me," the younger man told him, not quite meeting his eyes. "She what?" The man seemed to shrink in size. "Her husband called me on my cell phone, and-" "Wait a minute," Mulder interrupted him. "Mr. Pierce called? Where would he have gotten your number from?" "Well, I thought you guys had given it to him...?" Mulder and Scully looked at each other. "Maybe Skinner called him," she offered. "I didn`t." They all turned round to see Assistant Director Skinner standing in the door. He looked very pale, Scully noticed. "She wouldn`t let me." Mulder`s face took on a grim expression. "Silver," he said through gritted teeth. "Silver?" the young agent echoed, incredulous. But Mulder had no time for explanations. His brain was already working at high speed. "Since when is she gone, exactly?" he demanded to know. "About twenty minutes." "And you`re saying Silver called on your cell phone?" "Yes." "Did you let him talk to her?" "Yes. I mean, I had no idea-" "Where`s your phone now?" "What?" The agent wasn`t the only one in the room looking surprised. "Where is your phone now?" Mulder repeated. "Did she give it back to you?" The agent`s face became thoughtful. "Well, she attempted to," he said slowly, trying to remember. "But I guess it was just a diversionary tactic so she could...you know..." He was looking uncomfortable again, but Mulder had no appreciation of the man`s emotional state right now. "So what happened to the phone?" he pressed. "Well, I guess she must have taken it with her...," the young man answered and with two long strides Mulder was beside the telephone on the nightstand. "Tell me the number," he demanded. The agent looked confused. "What?" "The number of your cell phone," Mulder repeated impatiently. "Give it to me." "All right, everybody," Scully now turned to the surrounding agents. "I need you to step outside here for a minute, okay?" The murmur in the room grew louder, and Scully could tell it was only reluctantly that the men began striding toward the door. She didn`t care, though, as long as she could get Mulder the privacy he needed right now. She felt him watching her and turned round, locking eyes with him. He nodded by way of thank you, then began punching in the number Shannon`s bodyguard finally managed to give him. They waited in breathless silence. Scully glanced at Skinner and was flooded by a wave of sympathy seeing his contorted face. He thought that it was his fault, that he had failed. He thought that he had lost her... Suddenly, her feeling of sympathy was joined by hot anger. Silver. He was the one responsible for all this. He was the reason Skinner was torturing himself. She had loathed the man before, but now it was true hatred she felt for him. Now it was personal. "No, it`s me. Agent Mulder." Abruptly, Scully turned her head back toward her partner. "Shannon...- No, please don`t hang up!" Scully held her breath. "Tell me what Silver did to you. Why did he call you?" So Shannon hadn`t broken the connection, Scully realized with relief. At least not yet... But then, if there was anyone who could get her to talk it was Mulder. "...a young woman," Shannon`s voice suddenly filled the room. Mulder had obviously activated the speaker. "He`s going to kill her if I don`t come to him." Mulder exchanged a horrified look with Scully. Shannon was on her way to Silver?! "Shannon, listen to me," he said in this special soothing voice Scully admired him so much for. "Silver is a psychopath who would do anything to get his fingers on you. Whatever he told you-" "I spoke to that woman," Shannon interrupted him. "He`s going to kill her. I know it." "Shannon, you don`t have to go to him. Let |us| handle this." "No!" She almost cried it. "No FBI. This is something between him and me." "You`re putting the life of that woman in danger, Shannon." "I would if I allowed you to step in. I need to do this alone, Agent Mulder." "You don`t need to do anything, Shannon. We talked about this before. Whatever Silver did or does is his responsibility, not yours. You don`t have anything to do with all this." "Have you ever been able to say these words to yourself, Agent Mulder, and believe them?" Scully could answer that one for him. Just knowing about a crime, about any kind of injustice had always been enough for Mulder to feel responsible. He took things personal, even if he had no reason to do so. He suffered with the victims and mourned with their loved ones, and deep in her heart Scully knew that he could understand why Shannon acted the way she did. He would act exactly the same. "Shannon, please tell me where you are." "I can`t, Agent Mulder. I`m sorry. I gotta go now." Scully had just enough time to notice that a low, humming noise that had been there before without her really being aware of it the engine of a car? was suddenly gone, before Skinner cried: "Shannon, wait!" There was silence for the duration of two long heartbeats, then a breathless whisper: "Walter?" Skinner had stepped forward and was now standing next to the telephone, hands clenched into fists at his sides. "Tell us where you are. Please, Shannon." "Walter, I`m sorry..." "Then don`t do this to me! Hell, this is suicide, Shannon!" Suddenly, Scully felt Mulder`s breath on her cheek. "Did you hear that?" he whispered into her ear. She looked at him questioningly. "What?" But instead of answering he waved her closer toward the phone. Crouching next to it he tilted his head, listening hard. After a second of hesitation Scully did the same, and then she heard it: Someone was shouting in the background. What was it they were saying? Skinner paused to look at them with a wrinkled brow, and Mulder gestured at him frantically. "Keep her talking," he mouthed. Scully missed the following part of Skinner`s conversation with Shannon; she was concentrating too hard on trying to understand the words in the background. It seemed to be some kind of a slogan that was repeated over and over again in more or less the same way. It took a while before her ears had accomplished the fine-tuning, but then, suddenly, she got it: She jerked her head up just in time to see Mulder doing the same. Their eyes locked, and Mulder gave a small, triumphant nod. "Shannon, no! Wait, please...," Scully heard Skinner`s panic-stricken voice before the connection broke. "It`s okay, Sir," she said, laying a warm hand on his arm. "I think we know how to find her." XXX For how long had she been sitting here now? She couldn`t really tell; somehow she had lost track of time. Judging by the way her back was killing her it must have been ages. But then again, this bench wasn`t exactly a classic example of comfort... She wasn`t alone here, and she guessed that was probably the reason he hadn`t shown up, yet. There was a middle-aged woman sitting two rows in front of her. Her head was bowed, and she was obviously lost in prayer. Shannon wondered what she might be praying for, what had brought her here. And she wondered what kind of life she would return to when she left this church. Wasn`t it funny how many people you passed by on the street every day without really seeing them? Without ever knowing them? So many lives, so many hopes and fears, and you never knew, you never cared. You never even thought about it. Suddenly, the woman stood up and approached the altar. Shannon watched her lighting a candle and then look up to the cross above her. Shannon wasn`t particularly religious. She believed in God, but she didn`t usually attend church, and religious symbols were nothing more to her than accessories: nice to look at but without real meaning. In this moment, however, she was strangely drawn by that figure on the cross. She felt as if He were directly looking at her, |seeing| her her heart, her soul. Her intentions... Did He know? Suddenly, the gun in her hands seemed to burn her skin, and she loosened her grip. God, what was she doing here? She must have completely lost her mind... Her heart started to race again, and she willed her look away from the cross, away from those knowing eyes. The woman left, and Shannon was alone. Was it just her mind playing tricks on her, or had the silence around her indeed turned into something physical, into a weight that was growing heavier by the second, threatening to crush her? she decided. Only, that realization didn`t make it any easier for her to breathe... She thought of Walter and the panic in his voice when he had realized that she wasn`t going to let him hold her back. He had truly been afraid for her. He cared for her, and he didn`t want anything to happen to her. She knew this without a doubt. But she also knew that he was the man who was going to kill her, and she just couldn`t see how that could be possible... Maybe Walter had been right and he really was just present without being involved? But she knew this was just wishful thinking. She had seen his eyes, the hatred in them. He had been the one pulling the trigger, and he hadn`t done it by mistake. He had wanted to do it, |needed| to do it. But why...? "Sorry I made you wait." The voice cut through the air like a knife, and Shannon felt her blood run cold. He was here. She attempted to turn round, but Silver held her back. "No, don`t move," he ordered. "Not yet. I want you to remain seated. Oh, and I want you to put away that gun you`re hiding under the bench." Shannon froze. How could he know about the gun? "You didn`t think I`d let you keep it, did you?" Silver`s voice was as sweet as sugar. Yeah, right, had she really thought that? How stupid could one person be? Had she really thought he wouldn`t expect her to bring a gun? "Now put it down on the ground, slowly, and kick it over into the aisle." Shannon closed her eyes and did what she had been told. What other choice did she have? "That`s it," Silver commented on her actions. "Good girl." She felt her shoulders slump in defeat. What was she supposed to do now? She sat stiff as a poker as she listened to the sound of his now approaching footsteps. They echoed against the walls, and Shannon felt the fine hair in her neck bristle. The footsteps stopped abruptly, and from the corner of her eyes she saw Silver bending down and pick up the gun. She still didn`t dare to move. she remembered Walter`s words, and a fresh wave of fear swept over her. Was he right? Had she passed her own death sentence by coming here? Would Silver kill her like he had killed all those other people? she thought. As unbelievable as it was, she knew from her vision that she was save with Silver. She was save with |anyone|, just as long as Walter wasn`t around. She could do this. She could save Sarah. And herself for now. She didn`t have to be afraid as long as Walter wasn`t around, and he didn`t know where to find her. So why worry? Beside her, Silver straightened up, and now, finally, she turned her head to look at him, at this face that had been haunting her for so many years now. "So," he said with a smirk. "Good to see you again." XXX "Stop. Over there." Scully`s eyes followed Mulder`s pointed finger, and there it was: . It hadn`t been hard to find. They`d had a radius thanks to their knowledge of Shannon`s approximate driving time and they`d had a name. Simple, really. But unfortunately finding was nothing more than a first step toward finding Shannon. The hard part was yet to come, and they all knew it. They just had been avoiding saying it out loud so far. Scully pulled over and brought the car to a halt. Glancing into the rear view mirror she could see Skinner on the backseat, biting his lower lip. He had insisted on coming with them, and even though he`d tried Mulder hadn`t been able to talk him out of it. Scully wasn`t particularly happy about Skinner coming along either, albeit for different reasons than her partner. Unlike Mulder she didn`t believe Skinner might be a danger to Shannon, but she definitely thought Skinner was too emotionally involved in this case. And this could never be good. Behind them two dark vans came into view their backup - and they exited the car to signal them to stop. It was chilly, and Scully buttoned up her jacket. Then she glanced at her watch: almost nine. She had wanted to have dinner with her mother at that time... she ordered herself. She had managed to suppress these thoughts all day why were they surfacing now of all times when she should have so much more important things on her mind? "Looks like a dead end, what do you say?" Scully looked up and saw a tall man approaching them. Agent Davis. "Why?" Mulder asked rather absentmindedly. "Didn`t you say he had a hostage? He wouldn`t bring her here, right? With all those people around." Scully thought. Silver would have to be crazy to hide in the middle of all this hustle and bustle. Crazy or brilliant... "He`s here." Scully`s head immediately turned at the tone in her partner`s voice a tone she knew all too well: This was one of Mulder`s famous . her eyes asked, but Mulder wasn`t looking at her. He was scanning the surroundings, a look of strained concentration on his face. "I know this is where she called you from," Davis said who seemed a little confused by the younger agent`s absentmindedness. "But don`t you think it`s more likely she just switched cars here?" "He`s here," Mulder insisted, still not looking at his vis--vis. Scully noticed that his eyes were now fixed on one point on the horizon. "What do you see?" she whispered. "That church over there," Mulder said, finally turning to Agent Davis. "- Do you know it?" The man looked surprised. "Why...- yes. But Silver can`t be there, if that`s what you`re implying. They hold regular services there. Silver could never go undetected." "Let`s take a look anyway, okay?" Agent Davis stared at his colleague for a few seconds, unbelieving, then, finally, he said rather coolly: "All right. If you say so. But I still think we`re wasting our time here." Mulder just smiled, and Scully wondered for what seemed like the millionth time how he could do this, how he could take not being seen as the brilliant mind that he was. She waited until Agent Davis was out of earshot, then she asked: "What makes you so sure Silver`s in that church?" "The tapes, Scully," Mulder said. "Remember what Silver said about God? He thinks He`s just an illusion, invented by mankind because of their cowardice. But he is not a coward. He doesn`t need a god to protect him. He feels superior even to a deity. And how could he prove this better but by committing his crimes directly before the eyes of God?" "In a church..." Scully said flatly. Mulder looked at her with glowing eyes. "Come on, Scully." XXX Sarah had been right: It really looked like a vault here. The air was dusty and smelled of fear Sarah`s fear. They had found the young woman crouching in a corner when they had entered the room, hands and feet bound but her eyes still alive and alert. She hadn`t let him break her, yet. "I brought you some company," Silver said cheerfully. "Say hello to Shannon." Shannon watched the expression in Sarah`s eyes turn into stubborn pride. She was fighting him. She was strong. Shannon liked her from the first second. She shook off Silver`s hand on her arm and took one step forward toward Sarah. "Hi," she said softly. The younger woman met her eyes, and her features softened. "Hi," she replied. Silver watched the scene with a pleased smile. "Oh, I knew you`d like each other," he exclaimed. "She reminded me a lot of you, you know? That`s why I chose her." Shannon wanted to shout at him. She could have taken harsh words, insults, any kind of humiliation; but this cheerfulness of his just made her sick. Because it |was| sick. Hell, this bastard wanted to kill them, and yet, here he was, making dinner conversation. Suddenly, Silver held a rope in his hands. "Okay, I need to apologize for this," he said, "but I`m sure you`ll understand it`s a necessary precaution." Shannon didn`t say a word while he tied her up. The rope cut painfully into her wrists, but she refused to let her pain show. She wouldn`t give Silver this satisfaction. Instead, she waited until he had finished, head held high, then she said with a firm voice: "Okay. You got what you wanted. I`m here. You can let her go now." "Yes, I suppose I could," Silver confirmed. "But I won`t." "She`s of no importance to you anymore." "Oh, on the contrary. I`ve got very important plans with her." Silver smiled the sweetest smile. "Besides, I`m sure Sarah wouldn`t want to miss the opportunity to get to know you better. You know, Sarah, Shannon is something really special. They say she can see the future." He had given his words a mysterious undertone saying that last sentence. "Sounds spooky, doesn`t it? Do you believe in spooky things like that, Sarah?" Sarah just stared at him, her lips pressed tightly together. "Do you?" he repeated, his voice cold as steel this time. Sarah answered with disgust and undisguised loathing for her kidnapper: "No." "That`s what I thought." The innocent sweetness was back in Silver`s voice. "You know, I admit I`m having some trouble myself believing it. It`s just so unbelievable for a simple guy like me. Or maybe I`m just too stupid to understand it? Do you think I`m stupid, Shannon?" Shannon could see a dangerous flicker in Silver`s eyes, but she refused to knuckle under. "I think you`re lunatic," she said. Silver raised an eyebrow. "Do you?" he said, sounding amused. "You`re killing people. What do |you| call that?" "Honestly? Fun." Shannon turned away from him, disgusted. Silver started to chuckle softly. "Don't be mad at me, Shannon," he said. "We want to have a good time here together, don`t we?" When Shannon still didn`t reply he turned to Sarah: "She`s a little rebellious, don`t you think? Tell me, Sarah, is this how you imagined a fortune teller to be? I don`t know, somehow I expected something else. Something more...spooky. I`m a little disappointed, actually." "Why don`t you just cut that crap and ask me what you really want to know?" That earned Shannon another amusedly raised eyebrow. "What did I just say, Sarah? Rebellious." Silver smiled broadly. "I like you, Shannon," he said. "I really do. You have guts. All right, so tell me what you think I wanna know." "You`re dying to know how I found you." "Oh, I |know| how you found me. You saw it in your crystal ball, right?" Shannon looked at Silver with bottomless contempt. "You don`t know anything," she spat out. "So it wasn`t the crystal ball?" Silver said innocently. "Well, maybe coffee grounds? Tea leafs?" Now Silver was actually smiling from ear to ear. "Come on, Shannon, don`t keep me guessing." "What exactly do you want to hear from me, anyway?" Shannon asked shaking with hatred. "You`re obviously not willing to hear the truth, so what do you want me to say?" "Oh come on, you`re not seriously telling me that it`s true? That you actually found me through this hocus-pocus crap?" Shannon said nothing, and after a few seconds of silence Silver`s face took on an expression of incredulous astonishment. "You are," he realized. And then, after another few seconds: "How does it work?" "Do you really want to know?" "I`m |dying| to know," Silver said alluding to Shannon`s former words. Shannon scrutinized him silently for a while. "Okay," she said finally. If he wanted to know it, she`d tell him. "I see it. In my head. It`s a bit like dreaming. Only I know that it`s real." Silver`s face was unfathomable. "Go on." "There`s not much more to say. I saw you in my visions, I described the scene of the crime to the FBI, they got there before you and caught you in the act." "That`s it?" "That`s it." Apart from the countless nights she had woken screaming and trembling. Apart from the countless tears she had cried. Apart from this indescribable fear... "So the FBI really relies on psychics to solve their cases." Silver`s eyes were sparkling with amusement. "I heard about it before, but I always refused to believe it." He shook his head and chuckling turned away. The two women watched him walk over to the far end of the room, then, suddenly, Shannon heard Sarah`s quiet voice next to her: "Why did you come?" Shannon turned her head toward the younger woman. "He said he would kill you if I didn`t." "But you don`t even know me. Why do you care what happens to me?" "You wouldn`t be here if it weren`t for me." "That`s nonsense." "Sarah, you heard him. He wants to take revenge on me, and that`s why he took you." "But that still doesn`t mean it`s your fault." Shannon was surprised by Sarah`s persistence. There was silence for a few seconds, then Sarah said quietly: "You shouldn`t have come. It just means that one more innocent person will have to die." "No one is going to die," Shannon contradicted. "I won`t let it happen. Not again." Sarah didn`t ask how Shannon was planning to keep Silver from killing them. She probably sensed that she wouldn`t have an answer for her... XXX So it really was true. They had found him because she`d had visions of him. It was hard to believe... But then again: The more he thought about it, the more it seemed to make sense. In a spooky kind of way. He was sure he hadn`t made any mistakes. They couldn`t have caught him due to any negligence of his. They had only been able to catch him because of her. So in a way he`d won. He`d beaten the cops. It had taken a psychic to track him down. No ordinary human being could ever have done it. That was what he had needed to know. He heard the two women talking quietly and smiled. They really seemed to like each other. That was good. He wanted them to like each other. He wanted Shannon to really hurt when he killed Sarah. XXX Scully wanted to trust Mulder`s instincts, she really did. Hell, she wanted to find Shannon just as desperately as he did! But her head kept telling her that Agent Davis had been right: This was a dead end. Silver wasn't here, and neither was Shannon. She wished it were different, but this time Mulder had been wrong. Mulder... He was still searching doggedly, not willing to give up, as usual. Though God knew what he was hoping to find. There was just this one room, no attic, no cellar. Silver couldn`t be here. There was no place for him to hide. "All right everybody, we`re outta here." It was Agent Davis` voice calling through the room, and Mulder`s reaction to it was immediate. His head spun around, and his eyes found Davis`. "Wait a minute. We`re not leaving, yet." The older agent seemed unimpressed. "Well, I certainly am," he said. "And my men are, too. We`ve taken a look, like you wanted, and we found nothing, like I expected. So as far as I`m concerned my job here is done." "I want you to search the church again." Now Agent Davis became visibly indignant. "With all due respect, Agent Mulder," he said. "We`ve searched this church six times. There`s nothing here to find. Even you should have realized that by now." "You`re not in the position to stop this investigation." "No, but AD Skinner is." This rendered Mulder speechless for a second. "Skinner ordered you to stop?" he finally asked, unbelieving. "You`re not doubting |his| position, are you? And now if you`ll excuse me. I`ve got a serial killer to catch." And with that Agent Davis turned away, leaving Mulder stunned. His look fell upon his superior who was standing a few feet away from him, not quite daring to meet his subordinate`s eyes. "Sir, you can`t let them leave!" Mulder ignored the agony in Skinner`s face as his superior approached him; he was too preoccupied with his own feelings of fury and disappointment. They were so close. He knew it. They couldn`t leave now! "Mulder, you did a good job, and I`m grateful for your help, I really am. But it`s over." XXX "Is it true?" Shannon turned her head. "What?" "That you can see the future?" "Does it matter?" "I`m just curious." "You said you didn't believe in things like that." "I don`t." "So if I tell you that it |is| true, you`ll think of me as a crackpot." "You know, that`s the funny thing. I mean, I`ve only known you for a few minutes now, but somehow you don`t seem like a crackpot to me." "And that`s scaring you." "It`s surprising me." Shannon smiled, and a fresh wave of affection for the younger woman flooded her. "So is it true?" Shannon`s smile faded, and her face became serious. "Yes, it is," she said. Sarah didn`t reply immediately. She frowned and began to chew on her lower lip. "Hard to believe," she said finally. "I know. It is for me, too, sometimes." They sat in silence for another few seconds. Shannon glanced over at Silver who was still at the other end of the room. He had his back to them, so she couldn`t see what he was doing. But maybe it was better not to know anyway... "He said you had a little son. Josh, right?" Sarah nodded. "Yes. I`d promised I`d pick him up after school..." Shannon thought as she watched Sarah`s eyes cloud with worry. "I`m sure he`s okay." "I hope so..." Shannon felt the atmosphere shift into a much too negative direction and was suddenly eager to change the subject. "Are you married?" she asked. "Yes." Sarah`s eyes lit up immediately. "His name`s Michael. We`ve known each other since we were kids." She looked at Shannon. "What about you?" she asked. "Are |you| married?" It still came as a surprise to Shannon how much it hurt to think of Brian. "Yes," she said a little hoarsely. "Children?" "We always wanted to have children, but it didn`t work out." "I`m sorry." "No, it`s okay. We`ve accepted it." Sarah`s face became thoughtful, and then, suddenly, a little smile began to play around her lips. "You know, Michael and I have been talking about maybe having another baby, lately," she said. "That`s great!" "We`d like to have a little girl. Josh wants a brother, though." Shannon smiled. "You always think there`s still so much time..." The words cut straight through Shannon`s heart, and suddenly, for the first time, she saw the true extent of Silver`s deeds. He`d murdered so much more than the people whose throats he`d cut. So much more than even |he| knew. Shannon tried to picture Sarah`s daughter: dark curls, big blue eyes sparkling with curiosity. "There will be time," she said, making it a promise. XXX "So you`re just giving up on her?" Skinner wanted to slap Mulder`s face then. How could he think he would ever give up on Shannon? "We`re not giving up," he said, trying hard to control his voice. "We`re just not wasting any more time looking for her in the wrong place." Mulder just stared at his superior, speechless for a second. Then his features hardened. "I`m not leaving," he said stubbornly. That man was truly unbearable sometimes! "Fine," Skinner snapped. "Stay. I don`t care. But I`m out of here." And with that he turned away, leaving Mulder behind. "You can call a cab when you`re done here," he said, striding toward the exit. "Agent Scully and I are taking the car if you don`t mind." It was then that he realized Scully wasn`t following him. She was still standing close to Mulder, unmoving. He stopped and looked at her questioningly. "Agent Scully?" She was avoiding his eyes, obviously feeling very uncomfortable. "Sir, maybe Mulder`s right," she said tentatively. "Maybe we need to search more thoroughly." Skinner didn`t believe his ears. "How more thoroughly can you search this room?!" But he knew he`d lost. Scully wouldn`t leave her partner, no matter how lost his cause and no matter how strong her own doubts. How stupid of him to have expected anything else. For one more heartbeat he was caught in a chaos of conflicting emotions, then, finally, he nodded, resigning, and turned away. It was a bitter walk down the aisle. He felt like a dead man walking, defeated and alone. He`d promised not to let anything happen to her. He`d promised to keep her safe. - How could he have failed her like this...? "Sir?" He turned his head and saw Scully standing next to him. "He`s just trying to do his best to find her." Skinner took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. "Just keep an eye on him, okay?" he said. Scully`s eyes were warm and sympathetic as she looked at him. "There`s nothing you could have done..." This time it was his turn to avoid her eyes. He knew she meant well, but he just couldn`t talk about that right now. He swallowed hard, then reached for the door. "I`ll see you tomorrow," he said hoarsely. He needed to get out of here, needed to find a place where he could breathe again... "Mulder, what...?" Scully`s voice and a scratching, grinding noise held him back. Turning his head he could see an opening in the wall next to Mulder where he was sure had been massive stone before. Mulder`s face showed no signs of triumph or satisfaction, just grim determination. "I told you he`s here." XXX No matter how often he looked at them, he was always surprised anew by their exceptional beauty. He guarded these photographs like a precious treasure. They were the most private, intimate thing he owned. God, how he had missed them! It gave him a grim satisfaction that the feds hadn`t been able to take them away from him. They didn`t even know they existed. He`d never talked about them. He`d |thought| about them constantly, yes, but he`d never let anyone know. His thoughts were his alone, and no other person had the right to poke around in them. They wouldn`t understand them anyway. They would analyze them and interpret them and twist them until they`d turned them into something completely different, unrecognizable even to him. And then they would tell him that he was sick and needed help and that they would be the ones to give him that help. No, thank you. He knew what their so-called looked like. They`d rob him of his identity, of everything that defined him. And in the end he`d be nothing more than an empty shell, a figure of fun formed after their image. Who gave them the right to do this? How high-handed was it of them to just assume that their way to live was the right way? In his eyes, |they| were the ones who needed help. |They| were the ones who hadn`t touched the core of their souls, yet, who hadn`t discovered who they really were. They were stubbornly holding on to that childish belief that they were good and noble, even though he knew they felt the same burning inside he did every day. They knew about their dark side, but they were too cowardly to show it. Instead, they preferred to keep on denying themselves. His finger caressed the photograph before him. They would never see the beauty of it. They`d say that it was sick and perverted. But he knew better. You couldn`t picture a person more innocently, more pure than in death. It was the ultimate beauty. He`d hidden eighteen photographs here eleven years ago. Now they were nineteen. He glanced over at Shannon and Sarah, smiling. And there would be two more by the end of the day. XXX They were running out of time. He knew Silver pretty well by now, and there was no doubt in his mind that he wasn`t the kind to play around for long. He`d get down to business very soon. And he couldn`t let him. He needed to find him before the two women were hurt. He needed to be faster. That seemed to be the only thought left in his head. It was the only thing that mattered right now. "I guess that explains how Silver could bring the two women here undetected." He was almost surprised to hear Scully`s voice next to him. He had been focussing so much on finding Silver that, for a second, he had forgotten everything else around him. There had been just himself, the urgent voice inside his head and that corridor he had just found behind the stone walls of that church. "Where do you think this corridor ends?" Scully asked. "I`d say someplace where it`s not as crowded as it is here." Suddenly, Skinner took a determined step forward. "Let`s go find out," he said. Somewhere inside Mulder`s head an alarm went off, momentarily drowning out the "I-need-to-be-faster-than-him>-mantra. "Sir, I think you should stay here," he said. "Let Agent Scully and me handle this." Both Scully and Skinner looked at him incredulously. "What?" "I think you should keep away from Shannon right now - |especially| right now." The incredulous expression on Skinner`s face began to mix with anger. "Shannon needs my help, Agent Mulder," he said coolly. "You don`t seriously expect me to just stay here and twiddle my thumbs?!" "Sir, you wanted me to keep an eye on you, remember? I`m just doing what you asked me for." "And I appreciate your commitment, Agent Mulder. But this is simply ridiculous. I couldn`t hurt Shannon even if I wanted to. Hell, I don`t even have a gun!" "She never said you`d shoot her with your own gun." Suddenly, all colour drained from Skinner`s face, and Mulder knew that he had won. "We`ll find her," he said softly. "I promise." He gave Scully a short nod, then the two of them disappeared into the darkness of the corridor, leaving their superior to stare after them. XXX "What do you think he`s doing over there?" "Doing penance for his sins, I hope," Shannon said dryly. It really looked as if Silver was praying. But Shannon knew better. That man didn`t pray. He didn`t even regret. They`d said he`d had a hard childhood, but that couldn`t be an excuse. It might be an explanation, yes, but never an excuse. All those lives he had destroyed, all those families he had torn apart. He had caused so much pain, but that pain had never touched his heart. Shannon wondered if he even |had| a heart. She just couldn`t see how one could be so cold, so totally indifferent to other people`s feelings, to their fear, to their pleas... Images of visions long ago suddenly came back to her in a rush. She saw faces contorted with mortal fear, heard low, whimpering voices begging for mercy. He hadn`t even listened to them... "He`s scaring me..." Sarah`s voice was barely above a whisper. "I`m not easily scared, but it`s different with him. |He`s| different. He`s the incorporation of evil..." The words more or less mirrored her own thoughts, but Shannon wouldn`t accept them, |couldn`t| accept them. "He`s just a human being like you and me," she said, trying her best to make her voice sound firm and fearless. "We must never forget that. Because it means that he can be beaten. And he |will| be beaten." This time, Sarah didn`t leave it at that. This time, she said the word: "How?" Shannon thought desperately. But she couldn`t let her feelings show. She needed to be strong. She couldn`t let Sarah give up. She couldn`t let herself give up. If they stopped fighting now, Silver had already won. "They`re looking for us," she said. "Who?" "The FBI. They know Silver contacted me." "And they let you go to him?" "Well, let`s say I didn`t leave them much of a choice." "You ditched them?" "More or less." Sarah raised an eyebrow. "You know, somehow that doesn`t exactly strengthen my confidence in them..." "The Assistant Director in charge is a very good friend of mine. He`ll do everything in his power to find us." Suddenly, there was a twinkle in Sarah`s eyes. "A very good friend," she echoed. "I see... Does your husband know about that?" Even though Shannon knew that Sarah had just been joking she couldn`t help wincing at her words. And Sarah couldn`t help noticing her reaction. "God. I`m sorry," she said. "I didn`t mean to..." She let her voice trail off, and Shannon forced a smile on her face. "No, it`s okay. That was a long time ago." "Back when you helped catch Silver for the first time?" Shannon usually refused to even think about that chapter of her life, but Sarah`s voice was soft, and she really seemed to care. "Yes," she found herself saying to her own surprise. "I wasn`t married then." "Let me guess: But |he| was." That woman`s intuition was truly frightening... "Am I right?" Shannon cleared her throat. "I`d say you hit pretty close to the mark." Sarah smiled a very warm, sympathetic smile. "Sounds like one classic example of missed opportunities." "It was fate, I guess." "I don`t believe in fate," Sarah said matter-of-factly. "You don`t?" "No. I like to believe that I`m holding my life in my own hands. That I can make a difference, you know." "I used to believe that, too," Shannon said thoughtfully. "Then what happened?" "I had my first vision." "And that made you stop believing?" Shannon was silent for a while. Then she began slowly: "At first, I was just scared. Then I told myself: Maybe it`s a gift. Maybe you were given those visions to help, to make a difference, like you said. But that`s not the way it works." Suddenly her voice sounded bitter. "You know, I see things, but I can`t change them. I can`t do anything but watch." "But you helped to save the life of Silver`s last victim. Didn`t you say the FBI had been able to get to the scene of the crime before him?" Suddenly, there was a huge lump in Shannon`s throat. "Yes," she said in a low voice. "But they caught him too late." "What do you mean?" "I mean they couldn`t prevent him from killing the girl. She was only nineteen..." Sarah was clearly shocked. "My God..." Suddenly, Shannon had to fight back tears. Silver had left her with a lot of horrible images, but that one was the worst. She could still see him looming over the girl. Her face was showing surprise rather than fear. Everything had happened so quickly. "FBI! Hold it!" His face fell at those words. But only for a second. Then his eyes lit up with the brightest, most evil fire, and a broad smile appeared on his face. "Drop the knife!" His smile broadened even more before he cut her throat with one clean, precise movement. She didn`t even have the time to scream, but she lived long enough to realize that she was going to die. His eyes never left hers as he savored the moment of her final understanding. When the bullet hit his shoulder it was already too late. He stumbled backwards but never broke the eye contact. He didn`t want to miss one single moment. His features were soft, almost tender as he watched the life drain from her. He needed to watch extra-carefully this time, needed to memorize each and every line on her face because he knew his memory would be all he`d have of this moment. There`d be no photograph to look at to help him remember. Not this time. "Shht," he whispered, and then, finally, the light in her eyes died. He was smiling when they handcuffed him. He`d completed his mission. "I believe that our lives are all predestined," Shannon said quietly. "And that it`s impossible for us to intervene in our fates." It took Sarah a while to process Shannon`s words, but then she said: "I don`t think it`s impossible, I just think it`s incredibly hard to change the lives of other people. I mean it`s hard enough with your own life. But it can be done. You |can| make a difference. That`s my firm conviction." "But how can you know that? What makes you so sure?" "Oh, that`s easy," Sarah said, smiling. "Once you`ve stopped believing that you can make a difference, you`ve stopped living. And I just love life too much to give up on it." Shannon felt strangely, painfully touched by Sarah`s words, but she didn`t have time to think about them because, suddenly, Silver stood before them. And he was holding a gun in his hands. |Her| gun. "So how`s the mood?" he asked cheerfully. Shannon`s mouth went dry, and she couldn`t seem to take her eyes off of the gun. It was as if some higher power forced her to keep her gaze fixed upon it. Was that it? Was that the moment she had feared? Silver`s eyes were also on the weapon. He seemed deeply lost in its sight, as he was weighing it in his hands. "You know, I never actually shot someone," he said thoughtfully. "Wonder how that might feel..." And then, before Shannon`s horrified eyes, he pointed the gun at Sarah and pulled the trigger. XXX When he heard the shot it was as if the world had stopped turning for a moment. He caught his breath, and his eyes became wide. he thought numbly. Then, suddenly, his heart started beating again, and his numbness was replaced by fear and new determination. He couldn`t be too late. He just couldn`t be! The shot had sounded close and it had seemed to come from somewhere beneath him. Frantically, he started searching. There had to be a way to get to her. He was close, he knew it. And then, all of a sudden, he saw it: a trap door, set in the ground. he prayed silently as he reached out his hand. XXX "Sarah! No!" Shannon`s voice cracked. She thought she was going crazy. This couldn`t have happened. This couldn`t be. Oh God, this couldn`t be... The bullet had hit Sarah directly between the eyes. She had slumped, and her head had fallen backwards. Wide, lifeless eyes were staring at the ceiling. Something inside Shannon broke. "You bastard!" she cried. "You fucking, filthy bastard!" She was acting like a madwoman now, she knew, but she didn`t care. When she had taken the gun from her bodyguard that evening she had wondered whether she would be capable of using it at all, now she had her answer. She would have killed Silver without batting an eyelid. No mercy. No remorse. Not for him. Yes, she would have killed him. And she |wanted| to kill him. There was a burning inside her that was more powerful than anything she had ever experienced before. Like mad, she tore at her shackles. Her chest felt like it was going to burst. Too many emotions. Too much blind, raging hatred. Silver watched her with obvious amusement. "Oh come on," he said. "You can`t be that shocked. You`re a fortune teller. You must have know that was going to happen. Or not?" "You`ll pay for that," she whispered through gritted teeth. "Maybe I will. But first it`s your turn to pay." He was looking at her with cold, merciless eyes now, finally showing his true face. "You shouldn`t have messed with me, Shannon." XXX He saw the knife seconds before Shannon did, and automatically, his hand reached out for his gun. Only to find that there was no gun. Mulder hadn`t let him bring it. "Damn it!" His mind was racing. What was he supposed to do now? What |could| he do? "Why couldn`t you have just stayed out of it?" Silver`s voice was carried up to him. "Why can`t the likes of you ever just mind their own business?" Silver was closing in on Shannon now, and for a moment, Skinner could see his face. he realized, suddenly feeling sick. XXX Shannon`s eyes were really sending out sparks now. "Oh, please spare me your yammering! Let`s just get it over with, okay?" Suddenly, she wasn`t afraid anymore. Within her there were just hatred and rage and a tremendous sense of pride that made her hold her head up high. She knew that, physically, she was inferior to Silver, but psychically he wouldn`t bring her down. Not ever. He might kill her, but he would not break her. He wouldn`t get from her what he really wanted. He would lose. And he would know it. And that would be her ultimate victory. "Oh no," Silver said, shaking his head. "I won`t make it that easy for you. I want to see you bleed." "God, you`re so melodramatic it hurts." "And you`re much too arrogant considering the position you`re in. You should be careful what you`re saying." "Why? What do I have to lose? You`ll kill me anyway, won`t you? And you`ve already made it clear you want it to be a painful death. Sorry, but I`m afraid you`ve already played all your trump cards." "You`ll lose your arrogance sooner than you think." "If you`re waiting for me to plead for mercy that`s never gonna happen." Silver was shaking his head again. "Ah, ah," he said reproachfully. "Never say never," He paused, and his eyes darkened. "Shannon." And with that he closed the final distance between them. Shannon winced when she felt the cold steel of his knife on her throat, and suddenly, unexpectedly, the fear returned. But she fought it back. she kept telling herself. Defiantly, she lifted her head to meet his eyes: "Fuck you," she whispered through gritted teeth. Silver just smiled, and Shannon closed her eyes. XXX He had her. After all these years they had finally arrived at that moment he had been longing for so desperately. He could hardly believe it was really true. She was tougher than he had expected, but she would crack before long. They all did sooner or later. He would make it slow for her. He would make her regret. Oh yes, she would regret. She`d wish she`d never been born. Smiling, he closed his hand more tightly around the hilt of his knife. He was ready. "Drop it!" Silver froze. he thought. "I said drop it!" The voice sounded even sharper now. Sharper and...- familiar... Slowly, Silver began to turn his head. "Stop!" the voice behind him barked at once. "Don`t move!" Oh yes, he knew that voice... Silver kept on turning around, slowly but steadily, and then he saw him. "Assistant Director Walter Skinner," he said. "What a pleasant surprise." His eyes came to rest on the other man`s empty hands, and his eyebrow rose. "Lost our gun, have we?" XXX He felt strangely numb standing there. It had been hopeless from the beginning, but he`d had to try. He couldn`t have just stayed hidden and watch Silver kill Shannon. He`d had to try... "Let`s see... What`s wrong in this scene?" Silver mused. "Ah, I know: I`m the one with the gun. So I should be the one giving orders. Shouldn`t I?" His eyes were sparkling now. "So, Mr. Skinner, won`t you come over here and join us?" It sounded like a polite invitation, but Skinner knew it was an order. And he knew he had no choice but to obey. Reluctantly, he started moving. "Two for the price of one. This really seems to be my lucky day today." Skinner didn`t look at Silver. He didn`t want to see the dirty grin on his face. But he was also afraid to look at Shannon. What a glorious hero he made... He would have laughed out loud, hadn`t it been so damn sad, so damn pitiful. "Walter..." He felt her touch and finally managed to meet her eyes. "Are you okay?" he asked. She nodded, her eyes not willing to let him go. he found himself thinking. "Alright. That`s enough," Silver interrupted them impatiently. He pointed to Shannon`s right side. "See that nice little woman here?" he asked. "That`s Sarah. Now, I want you to kneel down and undo her shackles. She won`t need them anymore, what do you think?" He was grinning again. "Too bad you weren`t here in time to save her. I think Shannon would have appreciated it. She seemed to like her quite a bit." Suddenly, Skinner was overwhelmed by the urge to close his hands around Silver`s throat and squeeze with all his might. But he knew he would be dead long before he`d reached the bastard. Shaking with hatred, he knelt down next to Sarah. He couldn`t look at the woman`s face. It wasn`t like he hadn`t seen such a sight before. God knew he`d seen more than enough of them. It was the fact that Silver had been right with his words. He should have saved her, but he had been too late. And now she was dead, and he couldn`t fight the feeling that it was all his fault. It took him several minutes to undo the shackles. Silver had been very thorough. But finally he managed to free Sarah`s body from the ropes that had bound it. "Very good," Silver said. "Now, lie down on the ground, face down." Skinner had more or less expected that order, still it hit him like a hammer. There was no way he would be able to overwhelm Silver lying flat on his belly. he urged himself. "Don`t keep me waiting, Mr. Skinner." Slowly, Skinner lowered himself down to the ground. Seconds later, Silver was sitting atop of him, brutally forcing down his head. "You`ll never get through with this," Skinner hissed as Silver began to tie up his hands with Sarah`s ropes. "My colleagues are upstairs searching for us. They`ll be down here any minute." "Uh," Silver replied in mock fear. "In that case I just hope they`re not as heavily armed as you were." He gave the rope around Skinner`s hands one last, painful pull, then turned to take care of the feet. Two minutes later Skinner was slouching next to Shannon trying hard to fight the feeling that he had just missed his last chance - |their| last chance to get out of this alive. "Well, well, Mr. Skinner...," Silver said, an almost melancholic undertone is his voice. "Who would have thought we`d ever meet again? I can`t begin to tell you how good it is to see you. It makes this day even more perfect." Disgusted, Skinner averted his face. "Yes, it`s true," Silver continued, unimpressed. "You know, I even think it wouldn`t have worked without you. Not really, anyway. Something would have been missing." For a moment he silently scrutinized Skinner who still refused to look at him. Then, suddenly, his features changed, and his voice was cold and biting when he started to speak again. "You`ve always loathed me, haven`t you? You`ve always been so high above everything. So perfect. But you did make one mistake after all, you know. You should have killed me when you had the opportunity. That bullet of yours, back then in the park, should have gone to my head instead of to my shoulder. But it wasn`t enough for you to just shoot me, was it? You wanted me to go to trial and . That`s the problem with you perfect guys: You never know when to end the game." Suddenly, the knife was back in his hands. "|I| seize my opportunities, Mr. Skinner," he hissed, leaning in so that Skinner could feel his hot breath on his cheek. "|I| know when to end the game." XXX The fine streak of blood that ran down Skinner`s throat covered his fingers like a warm blanket, and a wave of joy flooded him. Those were the rare moments when he felt at peace, truly at peace, with everything. He hardly heard Shannon`s scream next to him. It didn`t matter. Nothing mattered except that knife in his hand, and the beautiful warm flesh beneath it. He hadn`t cut deeply. Not yet. He didn`t want it to be over too fast. He wanted to savour this moment. He wanted Skinner to make up for that night in the park when he had forced him to rush things. It hadn`t been right. Because of Skinner the death of that woman had been an act of crude killing not a celebration like he had planned it. He had loathed himself for what he had had to do. He wasn`t a killer. He had nothing in common with those filthy primitives who populated the jails of this country. He was an artist. He saw meaning in the deaths of his victims, saw beyond the mere act. Just like a painter sees beyond the colors of his paintings, like a composer sees beyond the notes of his serenade. Skinner and the likes of him couldn`t understand this. Of course not. They were too limited in their sights, too narrow-minded. How he despised them. He let the blade of his knife trail along Skinner`s throat. It was almost like a caress, but he could feel the other man`s fear. It went to his head like sweet wine. Then, seemingly of its own accord, the knife came to an abrupt halt. He had found it: the perfect spot to place his next cut. It would be deeper this time. Deeper and much more painful. He felt the palm of his hand begin to sweat in anticipation. But he mustn`t let himself get overwhelmed by his emotions. He had to stay calm and controlled to do it right. Suddenly, unexpectedly, a stinging pain exploded in the back of his neck, and he whirled around. XXX She had almost forgotten about the nail file in her shoe. When Silver had placed his first cut, however, she had suddenly remembered. It hadn`t been particularly hard to get. Fortunately, her hands weren`t tied up behind her back, like Skinner`s, so she had some freedom of movement. She had wanted to stab him with full force, but her hands had shaken uncontrollably. She didn`t know why. That man deserved to die. She was doing the right thing. But still, somehow, it didn`t feel right... When his hand closed around her wrist, she cried out with pain. Tears shot into her eyes, and, in a reflex action, she let go of the nail file. Silently, it fell to the ground. "You bitch!" Silver roared. "You fucking bitch!" He was bleeding, but not enough. Not nearly enough. Why had she been so half-hearted? How could she have wasted this chance? His eyes were glowing with rage and madness as he drew back his fist to punch her face. She closed her eyes awaiting the pain to come. But the pain didn`t come. Instead, Silver suddenly went down, and Walter`s voice yelled: "Get the gun!" It took her a few precious seconds to realize what had just happened. "Shannon, get the gun!" Frantically, her eyes darted across the room, and then, finally, she saw it: There on the table! Just a few feet away! She stumbled forward, and her hands reached out for the gun. Almost there. She was almost there. Her fingertips grazed the barrel of the weapon. "Don`t you dare touch this!" XXX He was watching with horror as Silver grabbed Shannon`s arm and threw her to the ground. She had been so close! If he could have just held Silver down for a little while longer. Just a little while longer... "So you want me to finish this quickly?" Silver said through gritted teeth. "I can do you that favor." He grabbed the gun and pointed it at Skinner. He saw it with wide eyes, and his mouth went dry. "No!" Shannon cried. Then a shot exploded, and the world turned black. XXX This time the bullet went to his head. He hadn`t seen it coming, and he didn`t even have the time to really feel it. When his body touched the ground, he was already dead. XXX The silence that followed was heavy as lead, and he felt like it was going to crush him. He had stopped breathing the moment he had heard the shot, and now he stood numb, totally overwhelmed by the realization that he was still alive. His eyes were fixed upon Silver who was lying on the ground, dead. - What the hell had just happened here? It took all the strength he could muster to turn his head, and then he saw him: Mulder, standing below the trap door with his gun in his hand. Their eyes met, and Mulder gave a small nod. His eyes were wide, and he seemed to have stopped breathing, too. "Walter..." Shannon`s low voice finally broke the spell. He walked over to her and took her in his arms. She didn`t cry. She just held on to him for dear life. Once again, his look fell upon Silver`s dead body. "Game`s over," he said flatly. Then he closed his eyes and buried his face in her shoulder. XXX Finally, all evidence had been secured and all questions answered. And during the whole procedure Agent Davis hadn`t even once dared to meet Mulder`s eyes, which, Scully knew, probably gave her much more satisfaction than it did Mulder. She was standing next to their car with Shannon by her side, feeling increasingly tired and cold. Skinner had left with the ambulance quite a while ago. She had made him to even though he had insisted that the cut on his throat was "nothing" and that he felt "just fine". A few feet away, Mulder shook hands with one of the agents, then started to move toward the two women. "I think we`re done here," he said. "Let`s go home." Scully nodded at Shannon, and the three of them climbed into the car. Scully could see Mulder`s strain as she was watching him buckling up in the driver`s seat. She knew it was because of what he`d had to do tonight. He`d killed a man. An evil man, alright, but still... Being responsible for the death of someone was always a heavy burden even for those people who, like Silver, didn`t seem to be able to feel it. Instinctively, she wanted to place a comforting hand on his thigh, but then she remembered Shannon in the back seat, and her hand remained unmoved. When Mulder started the car, she turned her eyes to the window, watching the lights outside drift by and wondering why that victory over Silver felt so damn much like a defeat... XXX He was a little surprised when she turned away. He had felt her eyes upon him and could have sworn she had wanted to touch him. Somehow, he had already expected her touch, and now the spot on his thigh where she usually put her hand felt strangely cold and empty. They drove in silence because neither of them really felt like talking right now. Yes, they had won. They had stopped Silver. But they had almost been too late. They had lost that young woman, Sarah, and they had almost lost Skinner and Shannon. If he hadn`t shot Silver... - Suddenly, he felt a painful lump in this throat, and his hands closed more tightly around the steering wheel. He`d had no choice. It had been Silver or Skinner. He`d had to shoot. Just why the hell did he feel so damn guilty about it? an inner voice answered him. Normally, those words wouldn`t have comforted him much, but this time her hand found that spot on his thigh, and somehow that made it easier for him to accept their truth. They had been driving for about five minutes when his cell phone rang. He frowned and then answered the call without his eyes leaving the road. "Mulder." "Agent Mulder, it`s me, Miss Faulkner." She spoke fast and with an undertone of panic in her voice. "I`m sorry to call you this late, but I need to see you. I`m...- It`s all back. I don`t know how or why, but suddenly I remember everything. It happened in Illinois. They took me in Illinois. When I was on my way to visit my sister. There was this blinding light, and suddenly the engine of my car went dead. And then they came to take me--" "Easy," Mulder interrupted her flood of words, realizing that she was close to hyperventilating. "Just try to calm down first, okay?" "I can`t, Agent Mulder. I`m so scared. I know something is going to happen tonight." "What makes you believe that?" "I just know. I can`t explain this, but suddenly, I just know...things. I know answers to questions I wouldn`t even have known how to ask. But they`re there. They`re in my head. And I have no idea how they got there. Want to know how our universe came into being? I can tell you. Or the meaning of life? Just name the question. I can answer them all." Her voice was trembling uncontrollably now, but Mulder hardly realized it. , ... Suddenly, it was as if all pieces were finally falling into place. "I`ll be with you as soon as I can," he said. Then he broke the connection and brought the car to a halt. "Mulder, what are you doing?" Scully asked, frowning. "Who was that?" "Miss Faulkner," Mulder answered, unbuckling his seatbelt. "What? How did she get your cell phone number?" "I gave it to her." "You-?!" "Scully, I need you to look something up for me," Mulder interrupted his partner before she could finish her sentence. Her eyes were wide and unbelieving, and he knew exactly what she had wanted to say. But they didn`t have time for a discussion of that kind right now. "Mulder, you don`t seriously want to go to that woman now, do you?" "She`s scared, Scully. I can`t leave her alone right now. And I really need to hear what she`s got to say." "Mulder-" "Just do me that favor, Scully, okay? It`s really important." He looked at her urgingly, pleadingly, and finally her shoulders slumped, and he knew he had won. "Okay," she said with a sigh. "So what do you need me to look up for you?" XXX Mulder had left them to get a taxi to Miss Faulkner, and so now the two women were alone in the car. In the rear view mirror Scully who had taken the wheel caught a glimpse of Shannon`s face that looked alarmingly pale and tired. "I`m gonna drop you off at my apartment," she said. "I`m sure you can use some sleep now." "Actually, what I really could use is some company," Shannon replied to Scully`s surprise. "I don`t think I could stand to be alone right now." "Are you sure?" "I couldn`t sleep anyway." Scully frowned. "So you wanna come to the Bureau with me?" she asked. "If that`s possible? I mean, only if you don`t mind...?" Scully looked at Shannon, trying to picture what that woman must have gone through tonight, and automatically, her features softened. "I don`t mind," she said. "I think I can understand how you feel." They drove in silence for a while, and all the time Scully was desperately searching for some comforting words to say to Shannon. God, she just wasn`t good at these things... "I know you might not be able to fully appreciate that right now," she finally made a clumsy attempt. "But you survived. The three days are over, and your vision hasn`t come true." "Yeah," Shannon replied thoughtfully. "It`s the first time..." "You`re saying all those other visions you`ve had before they`ve always come true?" "Each single one of them." The words hit Scully completely unexpected, and her hands began to shake. she told herself. "Did you forsee that Silver would kill that other woman?" she asked, just to say something. "You mean Sarah?" Scully nodded. "No. You know, I don`t see the whole future. I just see fragments of it. It has always been that way." "And how does it work? I mean, can you see the future or |fragments| of it of any person?" "At least of any person I`ve been in contact with in one way or another." "So how come you could see the future of Dustin Silver?" "I met him once." Now that really came as a surprise to Scully. "You met him?" Shannon`s face was unmoved but it seemed to have lost even more color. "It was in a bar," she began to relate. "He was sitting next to me, and I was...well, I thought he was kind of attractive, so I attempted to flirt a little. But when he turned round to me, when I saw his eyes..." She stopped, and Scully asked softly: "What happened when you saw his eyes?" "There was blood everywhere, and I felt like I couldn`t breathe anymore..." "You had a vision?" "Yes." Shannon nodded. "Only I didn`t know it then. Or rather: I didn`t |want| to know it." Scully frowned. "What do you mean?" "I was eight years old when I had my first vision," Shannon told her. "My parents were terribly scared and refused to even talk about it. So I didn`t talk about it. And one day the visions just stopped. Until that day I met Silver..." "What did you do?" Scully asked quietly. "After that vision of Silver, I mean." "I ran away." Shannon gave a small, sad smile. "I tried to tell myself that I was just imagining things, that it wasn`t a vision. It worked until I saw the pictures in the news. And even then I was too scared to tell anybody. I didn`t want to have anything to do with all that. I didn`t want to be looked at again like I had been looked at when I was a kid. I didn`t want to be the freak anymore... So I tried to pretend that it was no concern of mine, that this story was over for me. But it wasn`t. A few days later, I had another vision. And I began to realize that I couldn`t just close my eyes. Not this time." "Was that when you decided to contact the FBI?" "Yes. I told them about my visions and I described to them how they would find the next victim. Of course, no one believed me." Again, there was this small, sad smile. "But then Silver killed again, and suddenly the FBI knocked on my door. To arrest me as their prime suspect..." "No one believed your story?" "Walter did. Or rather, he didn`t think I was guilty. He listened to me. I don`t think he really believed me. Well, deep in his heart he must have believed me, but he just couldn`t bring himself to admit it. That`s just not who he is. He just can`t believe in things like that." "But still he stood by you," Scully said. "Just like you stand by Agent Mulder. Even though you don`t believe." Shannon stopped and lowered her eyes. "I`m sorry," she said. "I`m invading your privacy again." Scully was silent for a while, then she said: "I may not believe in visions or extraterrestrials, but I believe in Mulder. And Skinner believes in you. Did you know that he asked Mulder and me to keep an eye on him? To make sure he wouldn`t be able to hurt you?" Scully could see Shannon`s eyes widen in amazement. "No, I didn`t know that." "He`s a good man," Scully said. Again, Shannon lowered her eyes in order to avoid Scully`s gaze. "I know he is," she said quietly. "It`s just...- I can`t forget what I saw. At least not yet. I don`t know if you can understand that?" "I can understand that some feelings can be hard to overcome." "You know, I just need some time to sort all this out..." Shannon held Scully`s gaze in the rear view mirror for a little while longer, then she turned her face toward the window, staring into the night beyond it. Scully didn`t know anything more to say, so she remained silent and tried to concentrate on the road again. It had been a hard night. Tomorrow everything would look brighter. Shannon was alive, and that was what mattered. Surely, tomorrow they would be able to appreciate what they had achieved tonight. XXX He parked the car in its usual space and cut the engine. The silence that followed was almost overwhelming. At this late hour the FBI parking garage was empty with the exception of only a few cars. Still, strangely enough, he felt immensely relieved to be here. Since Shannon`s return the Bureau had become a kind of refuge for him, a place he could flee to when the loneliness of his apartment became too hard to bear. Yes, he had been lonely before, but he had never felt it quite as strongly as he was feeling it now. With Shannon being back. With the vision of a possible different life, a less lonely life, before his eyes. He couldn`t have gone home after he had left the hospital. Every fiber of his body had struggled against it. So, once again, he had found his way to this parking garage with the prospect of yet another night spent working. Pathetic, he knew, but at least it would keep him from thinking about Shannon. He just couldn`t think about her now. He couldn`t think about how she had been too afraid of him to let him hold her. As soon as the first shock had subsided, as soon as she had been able to think clearly again, she had stiffened in his arms and struggled to get away from him. It had hurt him more than he would ever be able to express, but he had tried not to let it show. He had acted supportive, understanding, the perfect gentleman. Like always. Sometimes he was so sick of always being so controlled, of always keeping his feelings to himself. There were times when he wanted to stand up and just scream out all of his anger and frustration and pain. But of course, he never did it. Not him. Not Assistant Director Walter Skinner. It wasn`t before he exited the car that he heard another car approaching and, turning his head, he recognized Agent Scully in the driver`s seat. And there behind her in the back seat his eyes caught a glimpse of another person: Shannon. So much for not thinking about her... The two women seemed equally surprised to see him. "Sir, what are you doing here?" Agent Scully asked in her concerned and slightly reproachful doctor-tone after having parked and exited the car. "I could ask you the same question," he replied. "Why aren`t you home sleeping? Were there any complications after I left?" "No complications," Scully said. "Or at least not with the Silver-case." "So what is it?" "Agent Mulder asked me to search some old files for parallels to a current case of his." "In the middle of the night?" "It seemed to be urgent." Her tone of voice was carefully neutral like it always was when she was pissed at Mulder but not willing to let it show in front of others. He knew she`d rather rip out her tongue than openly criticize him. Her loyalty to him was truly amazing. "I see," he said. Then, for just the fraction of a second, his eyes met Shannon`s, and suddenly he felt a burning urge to get away from this conversation. "Don`t take too long," he croaked before he turned around and fled the parking lot. Just why the hell was he acting like this? Damn it, she was married anyway. She wasn`t free. And besides, she didn`t want him. Not anymore. He`d had his chance and he`d thrown it away. For a marriage that had been lost long since. Sometimes he wondered how things would have turned out had he decided differently. Would they`ve had a chance together, he and Shannon? If he just could turn back time and try again. How different would his life look now? He watched the doors of the elevator slide closed in front of him and rested his head against the wall of the cage. It was useless to ask those questions. He couldn`t turn back time. He couldn`t try again. It was over. The sooner he got this into his head, the better. He arrived at his bureau and reached out for the doorknob. At any other time he probably would have heard the muffled sounds coming from inside. But not tonight. Not with all those thoughts running through his mind. Absentmindedly, he opened the door and stepped inside. XXX Shannon was standing in the X-Files bureau, staring at the poster in front of her. was written on it in huge white letters. she thought. Walter... He had looked so hurt, down there in the parking garage, and it had broken her heart. How could she fear a man and at the same time feel so strongly for him? She glanced sideways at Dana who was sitting at her desk, bending low over a pile of papers. Was it true what she had told her? Had Walter really asked her and Agent Mulder to keep him under surveillance so he wouldn`t be able to harm her? Could he really have taken the leap and put that much trust in her? She knew he didn`t believe in visions. So why would he do such a thing? Could it really be? How could you believe in a person but not in his or her beliefs? she answered the question for herself. Believing in a person necessarily meant to also share that person`s beliefs. No matter what she said, Dana already believed in visions and extraterrestrials or at least, she believed in the possibility that those things might exist. She just didn`t know it, yet. Because she was too afraid to admit it. Even to herself. And Walter? Hadn`t she said it herself? Or why else would he have helped her in the first place? Of course, she had noticed it. She wasn`t stupid. From the beginning, there had been this inexplicable connection between them. But he had been married, and they both had respected this. All that time she had feared that he had just helped her because of his feelings for her. She hadn`t dared to hope that he had truly believed her. But obviously he had. And he did. He truly did believe her. How amazing was that? "How the hell did he know that?" Dana mumbled beside her, and she squared her shoulders. If Walter could trust her that much, wasn`t it time she`d started to trust him back? XXX He watched her light a cigarette with trembling fingers and inhale deeply. They were sitting side by side on her designer couch which Mulder found extremely uncomfortable. He could already feel his back begin to ache. "I`m so glad you came, Agent Mulder," she said, her voice trembling in unison with her hands. "I don`t know what I would have done otherwise." "You said you believed something was going to happen tonight." Mulder spoke softly, keeping a reassuring eye-contact. "Can you tell me what exactly you`re afraid of?" "I`m afraid they`ll try to take me again. I know they will. I can feel them searching for me." Mulder nodded. Her answer didn`t surprise him. In fact, it was exactly what he had expected. "You`re not gonna let them take me, are you, Agent Mulder? I can`t go back there again." "You won`t," Mulder said. "I promise. But I`m going to need your help. I need you to tell me everything you remember. Do you think you can do that?" She looked at him with wide, shiny eyes and gave a slow nod. "I`ll try." He felt his heart rate accelerate in anticipation. It was inappropriate and selfish, he knew. Miss Faulkner was fearing for her life, and all he could think of was that he had finally found it: the truth he had been searching for for so long. He couldn`t help it. This was just too huge. All those years of chasing shadows, all those years of always being one step behind, they had finally come to an end. He had finally caught up. That was The Moment, and he could hardly believe it had truly arrived. "I can`t tell you what it means to me that you`re here, that you believe me," Miss Faulkner said, and even through his inner turmoil he noticed that her voice had changed. It was slightly lower now. And much more intense. "You`re the only one I can turn to, you know. The only one I can trust." Automatically, his eyebrows pushed together and his lips formed the initial attempt of a soundless . A second later, Miss Faulkner`s lips pressed firmly against his, and for a moment he was too stunned to even move, let alone |react|. But then, realizing what was just happening, he finally regained control over his body. Softly but determinedly, he pushed her away from him. "Miss Faulkner..." "Don`t you like being kissed?" she asked with a twinkle in her eyes that only served to disguise the embarrassment behind. "No. It`s just...- I`m already spoken for, you know." Had he really just said that? He wasn`t . He hadn`t been for years. But was that really so? The truth was: He |felt| . He realized it with astonishment and amazement. But not with fear. And that probably was the scariest part of the whole thing. "Oh." Miss Faulkner`s mask fell, and the embarrassment Mulder had only been able to sense before was now clearly visible. "I didn`t know that. There`s no ring on your finger, so I just assumed-" She let her voice trail off, and Mulder surprised himself once again with his own words: "I don`t need a ring to know where I belong." "I`m sorry," Miss Faulkner said. "I didn`t mean to throw myself at you..." He was trying desperately to find something to say when his cell phone rang. Breathing a sigh of relief he fished it out of his pocket and stood. With a hasty "Excuse me" he stepped into the adjoining kitchen and closed the door behind himself. His expression changed at once, and he could feel his strain vanish as he pressed the phone to his ear. "Still pissed at me?" he asked with a grin. XXX "I`m not pissed at you," she replied. "Yeah, you are." She said nothing. It was late, she was tired, and the last thing she was in the mood for now was to play games with Mulder. "So did you find anything?" he asked. So back to business, it was. That had been easy. But then, tonight`s business was Mulder`s favorite topic. "I believe so," she said, glancing down on the files in front of her. "The name of the man you were looking for is Peter Westin. He claimed to have found the after an alleged alien abduction in 1980. Later that same year he was reported missing in Ohio, as you suspected. And another hit at least sixty-one other people disappeared in that same month, also in Ohio." "Let me guess: Those other people had also claimed to be alien abductees," Mulder said, not bothering to hide his excitement. "At least some of them, yes. And their reports were astoundingly similar and precise. Much more precise than you usually find it. With others, there were no indications of any abduction history. However, a conspicuously large number of those people had been undergoing psychiatric treatment, starting about three months before their disappearance." "What about Illinois?" Mulder asked. "As much as I hate to say this, but you were right with that one, too," Scully said, shoving aside some of the papers before her in search of the right file. "Since the beginning of your an unusually large number of people has been reported missing in Illinois. And in at least eighteen cases I found indications of alleged former alien abductions earlier this year." "So those people had been taken before. Just like the people in Ohio, twenty years ago." "Well, at least that`s what they claimed." "Did you find any reports of the victims concerning their former abduction experiences?" "Yes. And they were as similar and precise as those reports back then in Ohio. So are you finally going to tell me now what this is all about?" Now Scully shoved aside all of the files and sat back in her chair, listening expectantly. "Miss Faulkner remembered to have been taken in Illinois," Mulder said. "She claims to remember everything now, and she said something about knowing answers to questions she . Like the . I thought I had heard that one before, and obviously I had. It was the same with Peter Westin. Back then in Ohio, twenty years ago, when we had those massive UFO sightings there. Very similar to the situation we`re having in Illinois right now." "So what are you suggesting? That some aliens are coming back to collect former abductees? That`s not exactly new, is it? I mean, there are a lot of people claiming to have been abducted repeatedly." "Yeah, but this is different." "How exactly?" "Ohio was one big call-back campaign, if you will. I had known about the UFO sightings, but I always believed them to be just that: sightings. I never thought to check for abductions in their context. I don`t know why I didn`t. It seems so obvious to me now. But when Miss Faulkner phoned me earlier in the car I suddenly made the connection. You`re right when you`re saying it`s not an uncommon phenomenon that people are abducted more than one time. But with those people in Ohio and Illinois something must have gone wrong." "What do you mean?" "Remember when you said that a lot of things about Miss Faulkner`s story just didn`t fit the picture? No implant. No time loss. Well, you were right. Those things don`t fit the picture because they were a mistake. Miss Faulkner should have had an implant, and she should have felt that time loss. But she didn`t. Instead, she started to remember just like the other ones who had been taken along with her. And just like those people back then in Ohio. I think that, for some reason, the usual abduction procedure hadn`t been completed when they were returned. Maybe it`s the implant or maybe some other device or injection or whatever that usually keeps the abductees from remembering. True, there are still abductees who remember. But never everything. Never the whole story. Because the whole story would endanger the aliens. Obviously, they can`t risk us to know everything they do. And they must know a lot. The meaning of life. The creation of our universe... Maybe it`s true what you found in Africa. Maybe God really is an alien. Maybe the aliens are God. The true creators of mankind." "Mulder..." "No, Scully, think about it. It makes sense. I don`t know what kind of experiments exactly the aliens are performing on their test persons, but it seems like they`re involving somehow a transfer of alien knowledge. Maybe it`s a kind of intelligence test, I don`t know. I just know that, usually, this knowledge transfer has to be reversed before the test persons are returned. Maybe it even is to protect the abductees. We know that there is only a thin line between insanity and genius. People who are extremely intelligent are often destroyed by their own genius. They tend to go mad. Maybe our brain just isn`t fit for too much knowledge." "So you`re saying the aliens were in reality trying to |save| those people in Ohio and Illinois by abducting them?" Scully couldn`t believe Mulder really wanted to sell this rubbish to her. "Yes. Maybe they were." Scully was silent for a moment. Then she said calmly: "You didn`t ask me what happened to Peter Westin and the others after their abduction." Mulder seemed surprised. "Well, what happened to them?" "Nobody knows," Scully said. "Nobody knows because they never turned up again. They`re missing till today. All of them." That information rendered Mulder speechless for a while. Obviously, that was something he |hadn`t| expected. "They were never returned?" he asked finally. "No. So do you still want to hold on to your saving theory?" Instead of an answer there was a muffled sound from Mulder followed by a loud clang. The phone had fallen to the ground, Scully realized. Her heart skipped a beat. "Mulder?" she said with a beginning feeling of panic. And then again, more loudly and pressingly: "Mulder?!" No answer. "Damn it!" She slammed down the phone and jumped to her feat. "What is it?" Shannon asked next to her, sounding alarmed. "Something happened to Mulder," Scully said, barely able to keep control of her voice. "What?!" "I gotta get to him. Can I leave you alone here?" "Of course." Scully hesitated one more second. She was supposed to take care of Shannon. But then again: Silver was dead. Shannon was save now. There was no reason to worry about her anymore. "Are you sure?" she asked nonetheless. "I`ll be fine," Shannon assured her. "Go get your partner." This time there was no more hesitation. Within two seconds Scully was out of the room and on her way to Janine Faulkner`s apartment. XXX Shannon watched her leave, hoping ardently that everything would be alright. She hadn`t seen anything. There had been no vision of anything happening to Agent Mulder. But then, as she had told Dana earlier, she couldn`t see the whole future. Only fragments of it. She had seen that baby, however. So didn`t that mean that Agent Mulder had to be okay? She wasn`t sure. She wasn`t sure of |anything| anymore. She had seen her own death, but the danger seemed to be over and she was still alive. Had she been wrong? Didn`t her visions necessarily have to come true? Was she really safe now? Suddenly, she saw Brian`s face before her. He`d said that she had changed, that the fire had left her eyes. He had been right. She really had changed. She had become more and more indifferent to life, to |living|, because nothing she did seemed to make a difference. It had almost broken her. |Her visions| had almost broken her. She had thought she didn`t really care about living anymore. But then there had been this vision of her death and suddenly, she had realized that the fire was still there. She didn`t want to die. There was still too much life left in her. Too much hunger. She just had forgotten about it. She had buried it deep inside, but it had never completely left her. What was it Sarah had said? Somewhere down the line, she thought, she must have stopped loving: life, Brian, even herself. She had felt like an empty shell, and she hadn`t even realized it. Not really, anyway. She just had been too indifferent to think about it. It didn`t seem to matter. But it |did| matter. She knew that now, and, more importantly, she could |feel| it now. For the first time in years she felt truly alive again. And she wanted this feeling to last. She couldn`t go on like before. Much too long now her visions had been ruling her life. It was time she`d started to take over the lead again. Once more, her thoughts wandered back to Walter. She still had feelings for him. She hadn`t thought that could be possible, but this special connection between them was still there. They just seemed to be fated to always meet at times when there was no way for them to be together. . That was the catchword for their relationship. The first time they had met he had been married, and now it was her who wasn`t free. - But was that really so? Yes, she was married to Brian. But was her heart really still in this marriage? Suddenly, she saw the answer clearly before her, and, to her surprise, it didn`t even scare her. It made her a little sad, but mostly she was just feeling relieved. What she had been refusing to see for years suddenly seemed so easy to accept: There was no future for her and Brian together. Neither of them was really to blame for it. It just hadn`t worked out. She hesitated one more second, then she walked determinedly toward the door. It was time to apologize. And to talk. XXX The car left the parking garage with screeching tyres. She sat behind the wheel, her hands shaking. a small voice inside her head kept repeating. Down inside she knew that he wouldn`t have let her hold him back, but that didn`t help to make her feel less guilty. Mulder had been in danger many times before, and one should think that she should be used to it by now. But instead, it seemed as if her worry for him was becoming worse every time. She tried not to think about what might have happened to him. She needed to believe that he was okay. He |had| to be okay. Everything else was completely out of the question, completely unimaginable. She took a deep breath and tightened her grip around the steering wheel. Everything would be okay. Mulder would be fine. He would be fine... XXX The elevator doors opened, and a sudden feeling of nervousness came over her. What was she going to say? He had risked his life to save her, and she had treated him like shit. How could she have done this? How could she ever have believed he could really hurt her? It was just ridiculous. She should have known that from the beginning. But still, there was this small voice inside her head that told her not to go to him, not to open that door. her reason argued at once. She had been waiting much too long already. Walter deserved an apology, and he deserved it now. Maybe it was already too late, maybe she had already ruined everything, but she had to try at least. Maybe he would be able to forgive her. And maybe, though she hardly dared to hope for it, he would give her another chance, give |the two of them| another chance. Maybe there would be a happy ending for them, after all... XXX She found the entrance door open which only served to increase her feeling of panic. Knowing she wouldn`t be able to wait so much as one second for the elevator to arrive she immeditately turned to the stairs and began climbing. she prayed silently. Gun drawn, she finally arrived at Miss Faulkner`s apartment door. It was open, too. She closed her eyes for a moment and whispered one last prayer before bursting into the apartment. "Federal Agent!" she shouted. "Freeze!" But there was no one there to freeze. With the exception of two gold fish swimming in their tank next to the couch the room was completely deserted. Her heart was hammering so hard now she thought it would burst her chest. Gun still ready to fire she carefully made her way across the room toward yet another open door. From what she could see from her position it looked like the kitchen. "Mulder," she muttered to herself. "Where are you?" And then she saw him: lying on the kitchen floor, unmoving. Her heart skipped a beat. "Mulder!" With two long strides she was by his side, kneeling down next to him. Her fingers were trembling uncontrollably as she reached out to feel his pulse. she started to pray again. XXX For the second time in this night he was sure he was going to die. His head hurt so terribly it was almost driving him insane. Tears of pain clouded his eyes as he was slouching in his chair, barely able to stay conscious. "I know this hurts, Walter," a shadowy figure before him said in a sugar-sweet voice. "But I have no choice. You need to be punished for your disobedience, you know that, don`t you?" Another wave of pain surged through his body, and he almost slipped from his chair. "I really thought I had made myself clear enough when I told you to drop that case. But obviously I was wrong." The words seemed to come from very far away. He knew he was close to passing out, and it was only due to his raging hatred for that man hiding in the shadows that he was still awake. "I hope you learned your lesson, Director Skinner. Because I won`t teach it to you again. This was my last warning. Next time you`re a dead man." With that, Krycek turned to the door, ready to leave. And suddenly, a revolt went through Skinner`s body. Half-blind with tears he pulled open the drawer before him and grabbed the gun inside. "No, |you`re| a dead man," he croaked, pointing the gun at Krycek. Then everything happened very fast, |too| fast for his pain-clouded mind: Someone opened the door from outside. Krycek grabbed the entering figure, using her as a human shield. By the time he recognized Shannon it was already too late: The bullet had been fired, and he watched in horror as Shannon was sinking to the ground. he cried out. But the words were only echoing in his mind while he stood completely paralyzed, unable to move his lips to speak. Fot the duration of two breathless heartbeats Krycek held his gaze, grinning. Then he turned around and walked out of the room. XXX He began to stir under her touch, and she felt her knees go weak. He was alive. Everything was okay. He was alive. He opened his eyes, letting out a low moan. "Easy," Scully said soothingly, slipping a supporting hand under his head. Slowly, his eyes began to focus in on her. "Scully," he croaked. "What...?" And then, suddenly, the expression in his eyes changed as realization hit him. "Miss Faulkner!" he exclaimed. "The bounty hunter... They`re here to take her. I need to get to her." He struggled to get up, but Scully placed a gentle hand against his chest, stopping him. "It`s too late, Mulder," she said calmly. "They`ve already got her." He looked at her with wide, disbelieving eyes. "No," he said, his voice that of a stubborn child. "It can`t be." "Mulder, she`s gone." He kept staring at her for two more seconds, then, finally, his shoulders slumped and he turned away his face. "Mulder..." "She trusted me to protect her." The self accusation in his voice almost broke her heart. "There`s nothing you could have done," she said somewhat helplessly. But he shook his head violently. "I wasn`t alert enough. I was just thinking about all the things she would be able to tell me. All the answers she would be able to give me." "Mulder, don`t do this to yourself. It`s not your fault." "I didn`t even hear him entering," he went on as if she hadn`t spoken at all. "How could I not have heard him entering? I only saw him the second before he knocked me down." "Mulder, stop it," Scully said harshly. "It wouldn`t have made a difference if you had heard him entering. You couldn`t have stopped him, you know that. We`ve met this man before, and we never stood a chance against him." He said nothing, avoiding her eyes. She let out a little sigh, then switched to doctor mode. "Do you think you can get up?" she asked. He nodded and, taking her hand, carefully staggered to his feet. "You feeling dizzy?" "A little," he admitted, and she immediately began to examine his head. "I`m okay," he waved her away. "I don`t think he hurt me seriously. Let`s just go home, okay?" She let him be and looked at him for a second. Then she gave a small nod and, taking his arm, began to lead him toward the door. XXX He was crouching beside her lifeless body, clutching his gun. His first impulse had been to put it to his own head and pull the trigger. He had come dangerously close to really doing it. But then, suddenly, he had seen Krycek`s grinning face before his eyes, and that had stopped him. He needed to live to make him pay. He swore he would make him pay. He would kill that sonofabitch, if it was the last thing he did. Next time he got the chance he wouldn`t hesitate. Krycek didn`t know it, yet, but he had already ceased to exist. XXX Yeah, right... How could he have been so careless, so dielettante? He had acted like a complete amateur, and now she was gone, and it was his fault. Maybe Scully was right. Maybe he wouldn`t have been able to stop the bounty hunter from taking her, but he should at least have |tried| to fight him. He should have done something, |anything|. Rather absentmindedly he noticed that Scully was slowing her pace beside him, fumbling in her pockets and finally producing a handkerchief. "You`ve got some blood here," she said. "Did you bite your lip?" She brought her hand up to wipe his mouth, but then, abruptly, her face fell and she paused for a second before finishing her movement. He frowned and then, suddenly, he remembered. "Scully...," he started out. But she cut him off: "It`s okay, Mulder. I`m sorry. It`s none of my business." She was avoiding his eyes now, but he had seen enough. "We both know that`s not tue," he said calmly. Funny, those words, too, didn`t scare him for one second. But then, he had no reason to be scared. He knew the words were true for both of them. His feelings had told him so a long time ago, but he hadn`t dared to trust them. Then, by some miracle, he had been granted the chance to see himself through Scully`s eyes, and this had changed everything. She had never asked if he had been able to read her mind, too, and he knew she never would. She was too afraid of his answer. He had been afraid, too, at first. There were no excuses anymore now, no more telling himself that he was just being delusional thinking she might really care for him the way he cared for her. But then, slowly, he had begun to realize that he didn`t need, didn`t |want| those excuses anymore, that he was finally ready to leave his fears behind. It still wasn`t easy for him, but he tried, and there had been small successes. The kiss on New Year`s Eve, for example. Sometimes he still couldn`t believe he`d really done it. He`d kissed Scully. And this time she hadn`t even slapped him. His eyes lit up with the memory of that night on the Queen Anne, and he suppressed a smile. She had been so tough, so completely Scully-like, although she hadn`t been |his| Scully. But for a moment, and he remembered it clearly, for a moment, she had kissed him back. Even then. Even without her knowing him. Yes, that lipstick on his lips |was| her business, and that was exactly the way he wanted it to be. He could tell that she was affected by his words, and for a second he even thought she was going to reply. But the second passed, and the words remained unspoken once again. Instead, he felt her hand on his arm, warm and dearly familiar. "Let`s go, Mulder," she said softly. XXX She got the news half an hour later. It was a plain message on her answering machine. She had to listen to it half a dozen times before her mind could grasp what had happened. Shannon was dead. Shot by Skinner. It had been a tragic accident. Shannon was dead... She sank into her couch, barely able to breathe. Everything felt completely unreal, like in some kind of nightmare. How could this have happened? She had been so sure that, with Silver being dead, the danger had been over. She had been so sure Shannon would be save when she had left her. She had left her... "My God," she whispered, covering her face with her hands. "I never could bear to see you cry." She winced at the unexpected voice and her heart began to race. "Daddy?" she whispered, her voice slightly trembling. Lifting her head she saw her father sitting in the armchair facing her. It was an almost familiar sight by now, a sight she even had expected tonight, but still it scared her. "People die, Starbuck," he said. "That`s the course of life." She shook her head, refusing to look at him. "I shouldn`t have left her alone," she muttered as if to herself. "It was |her| life," her father said. "And |her| decisions that led to what happened. Not your`s. Everyone is responsible for their own lives, Starbuck. Everyone`s got the |privilege| to be responsible for their own lives. She did what she thought was right. You need to accept that." She still didn`t look at him. "Please, Dana. You need to let me go," her father`s voice said. Only it wasn`t her father`s voice anymore. William Scully was gone, and his chair was now occupied by another familiar figure. Scully gasped. "Remember our talk about those ghosts of our past?" Shannon said. "Please don`t let me become one of them." Scully`s heart beat wildly in her chest. This was just too much. This couldn`t be. She had to be hallucinating. "Dana, look at me." Shannon`s voice was soft but forceful, and Scully found herself unable to resist it. Slowly, tentatively, she lifted her head and locked eyes with Shannon. And from that second on, for some reason, her heartbeat began to slow down to normal, and she became still. "It`s not your fault," Shannon said. But Scully shook her head. "I failed you..." "No, you didn`t. You couldn`t have held me back. It was my decision to go to him." "It wouldn`t have had to happen. If I had been there, if I had stayed with you-" "Dana, there`s nothing you could have done, believe me." "I refuse to believe that!" Scully`s voice had risen, and her cheeks were flushed. "I refuse to believe that there`s nothing we can do to change the course of our lives. We`re the creators of our lives, not merely spectators. It can`t be that it`s all just a predetermined game. There`s always a way for us to intervene. There`s |got| to be a way for us to intervene." "You`re right," Shannon said softly, and a little smile began to light up the corners of her mouth. "There |is| a way. But we need to be willing to go it. You can`t save a man that doesn`t want to be saved." "But you didn`t want to die," Scully said, and suddenly a frown appeared on her forehead. "Or did you?" "No," Shannon said quietly. "I didn`t. But I refused to see the warnings. Deep within I knew I shouldn`t go to him, but I went anyway." "Why?" "Because I - because |my head| - had decided that it was time. I wanted to apologize." Scully closed her eyes. "You know, what we call is nothing more than the consequence of the way we live our lives. And we can always change the way we live our lives. The crucial question we need to ask ourselves in the end is not about fate. It`s about whether we`re able to say that we`ve taken our chances, that we`ve done the best we could to be happy and to make other people happy. You`re right. We`re not merely spectators. We |can| intervene. Only most of the time we don`t bother to do it. Or we don`t know |how| to do it. Yet, it`s so simple. Usually, the answers we need are already there, we`re just not aware of them. Because we`ve unlearned to become still and listen to what`s inside us. We put too much trust in our reason and too little in our feelings. That`s our problem. That was |my| problem. Don`t make the same mistakes that I made, Dana. Promise me to listen to that little voice inside you. Promise me to never forget what you want. And to have the courage to go and get it." "I don`t know if I can," Scully said. "You seem to put more confidence in me than I deserve. You were wrong with that other thing, too, you know. I mean, just look at me: I have no idea how to chase away the ghosts of my past..." "Oh yes, you have. You just haven`t realized it, yet." "And how do I do it?" Shannon smiled meaningfully. "Just listen." In that very second the telephone began to ring, and Scully turned her head. When she looked back at the armchair Shannon was gone. XXX He had to wait five rings before she picked up the phone. "Scully," she said. Her voice sounded shaky, he realized. "I guess you already heard it?" There was a small pause at the other end of the line, and then finally, very quietly, came her answer: "Yes." Suddenly, he wondered why he had called. He had no idea what to say. There were just no words to express what he was feeling. Hell, he didn`t even really |know| what he was feeling! He still couldn`t believe it. Maybe he had just wanted her to tell him that all this was nothing but a bad dream. But it wasn`t, of course. He knew that, didn`t he? "Listen, Scully...," he began tentatively. "Mulder? Can you come over here? Please?" Her words caught him completely off guard. "Yeah," he said, frowning. "Sure... - Scully, is everything okay?" "Yeah. I just need...to talk." He nodded, his frown growing even deeper. "I`m on my way." XXX She`d asked Mulder to come over. She hadn`t reflected, she`d just done it. And now she was already wondering whether it had been such a good idea. After all it was late, and what was she going to say to him, anyway? What had she been thinking? When he knocked on her door fifteen minutes later, she opened him with a strange sense of nervousness. "Hi," she said shyly. "Thanks for coming." She let him step inside and closed the door behind him. "Sorry to make you come here this late..." "I wouldn`t have been able to sleep anyway," he said. She nodded, her nervousness growing by the second. For a moment neither of them spoke. "Um, why don`t you have a seat?" Scully finally said. "I`m gonna get us something to drink." He nodded and went to sit down on the couch while she headed for the kitchen. Why the hell was her heart pounding like mad? This was Mulder. She could tell him anything. He would understand her, wouldn`t he? When she returned to the living room a minute later he was toying with a pillow he had placed in his lap. Somehow he seemed nervous, too, she noticed. "Here you go," she said, holding out a glass of iced tea to him. He took it, letting go off the pillow. She sat down next to him, careful not to look at the armchair opposite her. "I can`t believe it," he said quietly, and a wave of gratefullness for him speaking first surged through her. "Me neither," she answered, just as quietly. "Have you spoken to Skinner, yet?" "No. Have you?" He shook his head. "I wonder if he`ll ever be able to get over this..." For a moment she thought she could see a memory flare up in his eyes. Her and him in a warehouse. He had pointed his gun at her, ready to shoot, unaware of the woman behind him that was whispering into his ear. She blinked, and the moment was gone. she thought. Her thoughts wandered back to Skinner. "Do you think she knew that he loved her?" she asked, glancing at Mulder. "I want to believe that she did," he anwered her pensively. She was silent for a while, then she said quietly: "You know what |I| want to believe?" He tilted his head and looked at her expectantly. "I want to believe that the dead are not lost to us. That they speak to us as part of something greater than us. And I want to believe that if we listen to what`s speaking, it can give us the power to save ourselves." She had said those words staring straight ahead, not daring to look him in the eye, too afraid of what she might read there. She sounded crazy even in her own ears... She felt his gaze upon her and finally managed to turn her head. He didn`t look taken aback, like she had feared, but there was a definite note of surprise in his eyes. "Scully, is there something you haven`t told me?" he asked. She took a deep breath and steeled herself for what was to come. There was no turning back now. "I saw her," she said. Mulder frowned. "Who?" "Shannon. I saw her tonight, shortly before you called. She was sitting right there in my armchair." "You saw Shannon?" Mulder`s face was one big frown now. "But-" "- she`s dead. I know," Scully said. "I know. But I saw her. And she`s not the only one." "You saw another dead person?" Again, she could see something flare up in his eyes: fear. "Scully, are you trying to tell me...? You`re okay, aren`t you?" He looked virtually in panic now, and it took her a second to understand why. When she did, it hit her completely unprepared. "Yes," she hurried to assure him. "Yes, I`m fine. This is different than it was with Harold Spuller." "Are you sure?" he asked, not yet daring to trust her words. "Yes, I`m sure." She gave him a reassuring smile. "The other person I saw was my father," she then told him. "And it wasn`t for the first time. I`ve seen him since the night he died. Not too often, but always today, always on the anniversary of his death." "Why didn`t you tell me?" Mulder asked calmly. She shook her head. "I don`t know," she said. "I guess I was afraid. Talking about it to another person would have meant to face it. And I just couldn`t face it..." "And now you can?" She gave him a lopsided smile. "I guess I have no choice. - You know, I always tried to talk myself into thinking that I was arranging those dinners every year for my mother. So she wouldn`t have to be alone. But in reality it was me who couldn`t stand to be alone on that day. Mom didn`t need those dinners. |I| did. I needed them desperately..." "You still miss him, don`t you?" Mulder said softly. "Yes." Suddenly, there were tears shimmering in her eyes. "But I can`t keep holding on to him all my life. I need to let him go. I need to find a way to keep him in my heart but go on with my life. I just have yet to figure out how to do it..." "But you`re already doing it," Mulder said. And Scully looked at him, surprised. "You`re talking to me, aren`t you? Well, that's the first step. Actually, it`s already the second step. You took the first one when you stopped denying what`s happening to you." She took a moment to take in his words, then she said quietly: "I`m glad you`re here." Instead of an answer he took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. She closed her eyes and leaned back in the cushions, wondering how it could be that she could draw so much strength from his mere presence. With him by her side it seemed to her that she could face anything. Next to him she felt strong and safe. Next to him she felt...home. "I should go now," he said softly. She felt a sting in her heart but nodded, rising from the couch along with him. "Do you think you can sleep now?" Again, she gave a small nod. "Yes." "Okay." He smiled softly. "See you tomorrow then." She watched him heading for the door, and suddenly Shannon`s voice echoed in her mind: "Don`t go," she said. The words were out before she even knew what she was doing. He stopped and slowly turned around to her. His eyes were filled with surprise. "I...," she started out, suddenly afraid of her own courage. "Could you stay with me? Just...for tonight?" The expression of surprise vanished, and his features became soft. "Of course," he said. XXX He`d slept on this couch many more times than he could count. But somehow tonight felt different. |They| felt different. "You got everything?" she asked. And he nodded, shaking up his blanket. "Yeah. I`m fine." "Okay." He could feel her nervousness nearly as strongly as he could feel his own. "Thanks again for staying here." He smiled. "No problem." She seemed to hesitate for a moment, then she took a deep breath and smiled back at him. "Goodnight, Mulder." "Goodnight, Scully." He stared after her until she had reached the door to her bedroom. He needed to tell her. He couldn`t let her walk through that door without her knowing the truth. "Scully?" he said. And just like him before she stopped and turned around, looking at him expectantly. "I didn`t kiss her back." She hadn`t expected that, he could tell. She stood unmoving for a second, then she said shyly: "Mulder, I already told you it`s none of my business..." "And |I| already told you we both know that`s not true." She held his gaze but didn`t reply, and he was surprised at the softness in his voice as he said: "I just wanted you to know, okay?" Still there was no reply from her. Instead she walked back up to him and to his great surprise placed a gentle kiss at the corner of his mouth. It was an innocent, amicable peck, and yet, it was so much more than that. He couldn`t tell how or why, but the moment her lips touched his cheek something happened to them. Suddenly, the air seemed charged with electricity, and the next thing he knew was that his arms went around her body, bringing it close to his. She responded by doing the same. He could feel her heart beating wildly against his chest and wondered for a moment whether his heart was equally out of control. It had to be. He was barely able to breathe... He was looking at her now, and his heart seemed to swell with a mixture of joy and fear. How many times had he wanted to do this? And how many times had he chickened out? Suddenly, it didn`t seem to matter. Not anymore. He wouldn`t chicken out this time. He |couldn`t|, even if he`d wanted to. Slowly, he brought his lips down toward hers. his eyes were telling her. She replied by bringing her hand to his neck and pulling him closer, until, finally, their lips met. It wasn`t at all like the kiss they had shared on New Year`s Eve. It wasn`t like |any| kiss he had ever shared with any woman. He`d never known he could become so completely carried away by his emotions. He`d never known he could feel so strongly. It was as if awakening from a long coma. He held her tightly, wondering how he could have existed all those years without her in his arms. When they finally parted to take a breath he was still not willing to let her go completely. He didn`t think he ever would. "I love you, Scully," he said, the words leaving his mouth with no difficulty. There was a silvery shimmer in her eyes as she lifted herself up on tiptoe and kissed him again. Very softly and very tenderly. "I love you, too," she whispered. She glanced sideways for a second and then back up to him. "Are you insisting on sleeping on the couch tonight?" she asked. And he felt his throat go dry. "Not at all," he croaked. "You know, I never told you, but I never particularly liked couches." She chuckled softly, and he felt a smile spread across his face. He`d never seen her so happy, so radiant. And it was due to |him|. How amazing was that? He let her take his hand and lead him toward the door. But he stopped her before she could open it. He hated this, but he had to ask: "Are you sure you wanna do this? You know this will probably...complicate things..." She looked at him then with an expression in her eyes he had never seen before. "That`s what my head is telling me, too," she said. "But, you know, I`ve decided to put a little more trust in my feelings." He raised an eyebrow in astonishment, but she was obviously not willing to give him any further explaination. He would ask her tomorrow, he decided. Right now he had more important things on his mind. XXX He gave a low whistle and then switched off the screen. He wasn`t a peeping Tom, after all. But this was an interesting development. Yes, definitely. He`d already stopped believing it would ever happen. Although, thinking about it, it had been inevitable in the end. Some things were just meant to be. They had been fated to come together sooner or later. Just like he was fated to meet them face to face one day. He had no doubt in his mind that this day would come. And he could hardly wait to look them in the eyes and tell them the story of their lives. Smiling, he turned around and walked out of the room, away from the beeping sounds of the remaining monitors. EPILOGUE Nine months later. "You wanna kill me, Alex, kill me," Mulder said. "Like you killed my father. Just don`t insult me trying to make me understand." He seemed incomprehensibly calm considering the fact that he had a gun pointed at him. But Skinner knew better. He knew it was all just a faade. He knew Mulder was thinking about Scully and their baby and how he would have to leave them alone. Again. And for good, this time. But he wouldn't let it happen. He wouldn't let that man destroy yet another life, another love. It was time to keep a promise he had made a long time ago, in another life, it seemed. He pulled the trigger and watched Krycek break down, crying out in pain as the bullet hit his arm. A look of surprise filled his eyes when he turned his head and saw Skinner standing a few yards away from him. Skinner thought loathingly. He watched calmly as Krycek reached down to pick up the gun he had dropped. Then he fired again. Another cry of pain escaped Krycek`s mouth as he fell to his knees, his right arm now dangling uselessly at his side. Again, he reached out for his weapon but this time with his prosthetic left hand. Skinner`s eyes followed his every movement as Krycek weakly pushed the gun toward him. "It`s going to take more bullets you can...ever fire to win this game," Krycek said, his voice raw with pain. "But one bullet...and I can give you a thousand lives." Skinner didn`t blink. "Shoot Mulder." And those words finally made him throw overboard his last remaining doubts and scruples. Shoot Mulder? He`d already made him shoot a friend. Did he really think he`d do it again? And on purpose? How sick was that man? He turned his head to look at Mulder who stared back at him, unblinkingly. It was |her| face he saw when he pulled the trigger one last time, |her| voice that was ringing in his ears. He hoped that she would be able to forgive him for this... Krycek gasped, his face showing an expression of utter astonishment. Then he fell to the ground, a fine streak of blood oozing from a bullet hole between his eyes. He was dead. He felt Mulder`s eyes upon him but wasn`t able to turn his gaze away from Krycek`s dead body. he thought. She`d be still alive... He clutched his gun more tightly, numb with pain. "I`m going to the airport," he heard Mulder`s faraway voice. "I need that location from Agent Doggett." He wanted to move his lips, but couldn`t find the strength. "Skinner, are you with me?" Now, finally, he regained control over his body. "You just go," he said, surprised at how calm his voice sounded. "I`ll get him." From the corner of his eyes he watched Mulder enter his car and drive away. He knew he understood why he had done it, why he`d had no choice. Mulder would have done the same for Scully. Scully... He prayed that Mulder would be able to get to her in time, that she and the baby would be safe. There had been too many bad endings already. He took one last look at the man he had come to hate more than anything else in the world, then turned and walked away. _____________________________ AUTHOR`S NOTES: Scully`s reaction to Mulder`s words at the end of "The Truth" has always seemed a little strange to me. I mean, Mulder is talking about dead people speaking to him and showing him the way even a non-skeptical Scully should have her problems with a statement like this. Instead, she`s saying "Then we believe the same thing." Hello?! Why the hell would she, would |anyone|, believe such a strange thing??? Well, that was my way of explaining this conversation. Hope you liked it? Or not? Let me know!