From: "Kimberly Swartz" Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1998 22:27:21 -0400 Subject: revision of Father and Son Father and Son By Bobby Jo Sweet The Disclaimer: insert legal jargon here. Quick quiz - which of the following doesn't belong to me? A. ugly calico cat B. ugly Geo Metro C. Mulder, Scully, et al. When in doubt, pick C! They belong to the good people at Fox, 10-13, and most especially Mr. Carter. David, Gillian, and the other magnificent actors and crew also deserve our thanks for the excellent work they do to bring the characters to life. I'm trusting you, Chris, to take these fine characters to the places they need to go. Don't wimp out on me. I'm only playing around here. It's a cheap thrill - no money involved. Please don't sue, you'll only get A and B from our quiz above. Rating: PG - Mulder's favorite Smoking Man cusses. Category - MSR (and CSMR - hubba hubba!) Summary: Mulder learns a truth about his family. Notes: Maybe I'm unusual, but Smoking Man has always had a soft spot in my heart. Maybe he's just misunderstood. Comments welcome - its my first posting here. I must say here (no brown-nosing intended) I'm amazed at the quality of writing I see posted. I love that so many people can take a couple of characters and creates such incredible stories, going in so many different directions. Anyway, feedback is great, good or bad, but don't bother flaming. I teach middle school. I've seen and heard it all. e-mail: kim@boson.com Dedicated to my greatest teachers - my students. The park was quiet. This was his favorite time of year to come to his thinking place. Once the chill of winter arrived, the park was empty of screaming children and gossiping mothers. He had the flowing lawns and duck filled ponds to himself. It was a good place to think when he needed the quiet to concentrate. Sometimes even the silence of his partner was too much company for him, and he needed desperately to be away from humanity. This little park suited him perfectly. He stretched out on his usual bench and watched the sky. He had always been fascinated by clouds. When he was a child he thought that people could live in the clouds, and spend their lives exploring the fluffy, ever changing landscape. He had wanted to go there and live with them. Sometimes he still wished so. He felt rather than heard someone approach. He sighed, but didn't open his eyes. He figured Scully had gotten worried after he left so abruptly. The buzz in his head had just gotten to be too much. He had muttered something about fresh air and escaped. He hoped she wasn't angry. Ninety-nine percent of the time her nearness comforted him, but sometimes he needed this time to be alone with his ideas. She didn't speak. He opened one eye to read the expression on her face. He knew all of her looks so well. He could read her instantly. Words were becoming much less important in their conversations. He figured that over the last five years, she had picked up a mental Mulder dictionary and could translate him, too. The face looking down on him wasn't his partner. He jumped up, glaring at his mortal enemy. The man who had destroyed so much in his life, who had taken everything from him. He thought about his weapon in his holster, or strangling him with his bare hands. "What do you want, you cancer-ridden bastard!" he stormed. The man didn't respond, but continued watching his eyes closely. Mulder snarled, "Get the hell out of my sight!" "We need to talk," the man replied evenly. He motioned to the empty half of the bench. Mulder glared. "I've come to tell you a truth," he continued. He sat down, turning to the rigid figure next to him. "How is Agent Scully?" "Better," Mulder replied sullenly. He remembered his meetings with this SOB sitting next to him, remembered the chip he had delivered. That was the only thing keeping him from doing something he might regret. "They were able to stop the cancer." "You were able to stop the cancer," the man replied. Mulder shrugged. "They don't know why it stopped, and I don't care. You sons of bitches gave it to her, and I'll see you pay for that." The man sighed, staring down at the pond infront of them. A few geese wandered by the water's edge, picking at the reeds rustling in the slight breeze. "Would you believe that I am paying for all of my sins?" He pulled a pack of Morleys from his pocket and lit up. "I've paid for a long time, and I guess I won't stop anytime soon." "Good," Mulder snapped, and stood up. "Please sit!" the man begged, letting one hand rest for a second on the agent's shoulder. Mulder twitched and pulled away. "I have something I must tell you. A truth for you." He started walking away. "Its about your family. Your father, and mother. And your sister." Mulder whirled around. "I thought you had given her back to me at the restaurant that night." "I lied," the man replied. Mulder held his eyes for a minute. They were faded blue, tired, lonely. Mulder came out of his rage long enough to see the pleading within them, the loneliness calling out to him. He paused. "Five minutes," he said. "And don't give me any more of your damned lies. I don't believe anything anymore." "I hope that isn't true," the smoking man answered. "I always admired the strength of your beliefs. Even when they challenged me and mine, I respected them. You are a formidable man, Agent Mulder." "Yeah, even when you kill me, I don't stay down for long," he replied wanly. He sat down again. "And you've done it more than once." "No!" the man exclaimed harshly. He dashed out his cigarette on the edge of the bench and leaned forward. "I have never hurt you, please believe me. I thought you were gone from the railroad car in New Mexico. I never would have ordered it burned if we hadn't searched it and not found you. I've protected you the best I can. You keep digging in closer, and I can't risk exposing us by shielding you anymore obviously!" Mulder looked at the man, seeing the honesty of his words. He had often wondered why he had never simply disappeared. Once he started getting close to the truth, and he knew he was extremely close, why didn't the Consortium make a tidy little arrangement to have his car suddenly lose brakes, or his apartment burn, or plane crash, or even an unscheduled departure to Planet Whatever? As much as Scully had suffered on his behalf, she was 'returned to him'. He knew deep down someone had to be watching out for him, but he didn't know who. He watched the distraught man at his side. "Why are you protecting me?" Mulder asked. Suspicions had surfaced time and again about this man's connection to his life. Vague memories sometimes arose, causing more confusion than they solved. The man was quiet. Now was the time he had hoped for. He prayed in the best way he knew how that this opportunity would happen. Now he had to tell the truth, and damn the consequences. "I think you know I knew you as a child. I've known your parents since before you were born," he started, and paused. "Do you remember me?" he asked awkwardly. Mulder nodded slightly. "I worked with Bill at the State Department. We were partners with another man I think you know. That was before Bill was married. Tina was in college. She worked as a waitress to put herself through school, at a local diner. The three of us used to eat dinner there when we were working late. All of us did our best to catch her attention, but Bill won. They dated for a year then were married. I was sent to... a change of duties, so I couldn't go to the wedding. We kept in touch the best we could. Later I transferred back to our team. We started a new project, spending all of our time together. Bill got the place on the Vineyard, and we would spend weekends there, playing all day and working all night." He smiled faintly. "Sometimes we would bring dates, but mostly it was the four of us. Tina was great. She didn't know anything about our work, but she would take good care of us. Made sure we didn't overdo it. We would take the sailboat out sometimes, go swimming, water-skiing." He felt for the Morleys package in his jacket pocket, and observed the young man's face. He was listening intently, fusing these facts with what he already knew. Time to continue. "One day, Bill was out somewhere with our partner, it was just me and Tina. She was so beautiful," he half sighed. Mulder's lips tightened. "I had feelings for her, ever since we met. Before she was married we dated a few times. She told me I was too serious, too dedicated to my work. I thought I had gotten over it, that we could be together as friends and that would be acceptable. It wasn't easy. We were sitting on the back balcony, overlooking the water. She wore a blue dress, with little ribbons on it that matched the ones in her hair. We didn't talk, just looked out at the water and the sun shining down. To the left, there was a little copse of woods separating us from the next house. Well, you know, that hasn't changed over the years. Back then, the woods were wilder. We used to have deer coming into the yard every morning. But that day, Tina nudged me, and pointed to a little red spot in the woods. 'look, there's a fox,' she said, and laughed. She jumped up to chase it. I watched her leap from the porch and race into the woods. The poor creature didn't know what to do at first, but turned tail and ran. She followed it and disappeared. I followed her. She followed the fox, and I followed her. We ran through the woods, her laughing, me calling out to her to slow down. I finally caught up to her in a little clearing. She pointed down into a small cave, showing me where the creature had escaped. 'Foxes keep the same home for years' she told me. 'Its children will someday raise their families here.' She was laughing and trying to catch her breath and her dress was torn from her racing through the underbrush. I couldn't resist her anymore. I told her I loved her. She said she loved me too. She always had, but she was afraid of my work, of my dedication to my ideas. She kissed me, right there in the clearing with the sun beaming down on us and the little fox den at our feet." He smiled faintly, and stared infront of him. "Nine months later I held my son in my arms. She never told anyone how she picked his unusual name. But we knew and treasured the memory." He stopped, afraid to turn to the man sitting next to him. Finally he snuck a glance. His son was crying. Tears streamed down his face unchecked. He moved to touch his hand, but Mulder pulled away. "My father... Bill never knew?" he choked out. His true father shook his head. "Not until later. I loved her, Fox. I begged her to marry me a hundred times. She said she was already married. She honored that vow. We never... carried on an affair physically. She let me spend time with you growing up. I treasured that time. When you chose the FBI I wanted to use my power to help you. I only wish you had chosen a different path for your energies." "My sister?" Mulder muttered. He wiped his eyes with a quick and angry motion. "Bill's daughter. I am sorry I lied to you, but I had to protect you. I felt that if you believed I had some family connection, I could convince you to trust me. I wanted you on my side. Your mother and I have suffered watching you fight me on every turn. What I do, I believe in my heart is for the best. I have since the beginning. Once you have seen what I have, you will be believe me." Mulder looked at him, "Once I have seen?" His father nodded. "I will not hold the truth from you anymore. I will share with you what I can. I must trust you to do the right thing with the information I give. I want you fighting on my side, Fox. I don't want you against me anymore." Mulder asked, "Does Mom know you're telling me this?" The other man nodded. "I told her I would. I've seen her often since her stroke. She still is beautiful," he smiled. "I would like to be a family." "It's a little late for that," Mulder answered bitterly. His father looked strickened. "Can we try?" he whispered. A minute passed. Memories floated again through the agent's mind, new ones he hadn't recalled before. Birthdays and Christmases. Skinned knees healed with loving care and kind words. His sister crying out to him for help. Scully's pale face half-hidden by a respirator. Mulder gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head. His tears had slowed. He turned to the man, his eyes hard and glassy. "You are not family. I don't care where my DNA may have come from, you are not my goddamned dad." He rose from his seat, his back rigid in anger. "Stay away from me, and stay away from my partner." "Fox," the man half-rose too, his voice rising in a plea. "Please listen!" He turned to the walking path behind the bench. His eye caught a spot of red in the distance. It was his partner, searching for him. His father followed his line of sight, and recognized the woman in view. "Can I offer a piece of advice?" he asked quietly. He didn't wait for a reply. "Don't make my mistakes. I am a man who has made so many. If you can learn from me, maybe they would be meaningful. I lost the woman I loved because I looked the wrong way for meaning. Our truths may be different, but they may cost us the same. Don't be alone when salvation is close. I didn't risk everything to bring her back only for you to push her away." Mulder stared at him, surprise overcoming his anger. What was he saying? "Do you love her?" his father asked. Mulder bit his lower lip. My God, what other demons would he face today? He thought of his partner, smiling at him in her particular way. She was his world now, the only piece of his pathetic life that mattered. Samantha had been the reason he started his quest, but Scully was the reason he continued blindly fighting his way. He loved her in more ways than he could count, more ways than this man could ever know. Did she know that? The man could read his expression to find his answer. "Go to her," he said. "I will continue to protect you both the best I can. I hope one day you can understand and forgive me, as well as your mother." Mulder didn't respond, but slipped away to the path. He ran over to Scully, calling her name. She glanced at the man still waiting on his bench, then to her racing partner. She joined him on the path, anxiously observing his expression. The man observed Mulder hold her close, stroking her hair. He could faintly catch phrases from their conversation - she worried, he reassuring. They were a good couple, he thought. He had chosen well. He glanced at his watch. Time to leave for the Vinyard. Tina had agreed to dinner that evening. If careful, he may be able to mend the bridges in his life; atone for the sins of his youth. Maybe one day he will have his family, like he dreamed while alone in his cold bed at night; maybe his work will be successful, and happily ever after will happen for him. He hoped. Until then, his duties continued.