From: Laura Starzynski Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1999 20:52:04 -0600 Subject: Fear and Rage Title: Fear and Rage Author: Laura Starzynski Archive: Anywhere, but keep my name attached Rating: R Classification: SRA Spoilers: None Keywords: Mulder/Scully romance Summary: Scully and Mulder try to build a life together following Scully's recent rape. Sequel to Yellowed Eyebrow Ring. Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't send money. No suing, por favor. Authors Note: Because of the positive response to my last story, I made the sequel. I also want to thank everyone who wrote (especially ceruleanjen). You all were kind, so I am taking the fanfic plunge for the second time. Again, any and all responses welcome at Cenhaf13@aol.com. I also want to again thank Elena whose friendship and support help give me the confidence to actually write and post these stories. Wink, wink, rock, I bet you find them all! Warning: I rated this R because there is a scene of violence. It is not too bad, and the rating is conservative, but if you are sensitive, you should not read this. However, if you watch X-Files, this will be a breeze. Mainly character analysis. ================================================= Fear and Rage Scully sprang bolt upright in bed. Her heart was pounding hard and she was struggling to get her breath under control. She fought the sobs that were rising to her throat and tried to kick off the too-confining comforter of her bed that still had the semblance of forceful hands holding her to the ground. Scully groped for the phone on her bedside table. She upset her water glass and knocked over the seldom-used bottle of sleeping pills. The clatter was comforting, it did not contain sounds often found in an abandoned alleyway, and as the sounds registered, she stopped dialing the numbers to Mulder's extention. -Cleansing breaths- she told herself. She clicked the Talk button to disconnect, only delaying the inevitable. Scully wanted to try resolving it on her own first, not running to the safety of Mulder's voice too quickly. She wanted to know that she could stand on her own two feet without having to lean on anyone. Scully forced herself to remember her dream, the flashback of three weeks before when she was brutally attacked. -Raped- she corrected herself -and brutally beaten by three men.- The memory, stirred up by the dream, played out like a video behind her eyes. Scully clutched the sheets to herself and her eyes shut tight. -Scully dropping off the rented video. Scully getting grabbed from behind, two powerful arms pinning her arms down; two more arms grabbing low, at her knees. She was too surprised to even cry out.- Tears spilled out of her eyes as the memory took on a life of its own. The dream had distorted her perception of the attack. She saw herself as utterly passive and unable to move because of her paralyzing fear. She saw a dozen openings for escape that she was too scared to take. The old fear returned with a force she could never get accustomed to. She relived it all over again. Felt the wounds again, heard the threats, smelled it, tasted it, saw everything. Trembling and with chattering teeth, she pulled up the comforter, trying to stop her tears and warm the chill that was spreading from the inside out. She cleared her throat and dialed Mulder's number again. She felt a blush come to her cheeks as she thought of Mulder. Half of it was shame. She knew that calling him at 1:15 in the morning was a sign of weakness, an acknowledgment that she couldn't take care of herself. Shame that included embarrassment that Mulder knew EVERYTHING about her last sexual experience. Scully had always tried to keep a part of herself from Mulder, but that had changed. The other half of the blush was pure affection for a man who was her heart. After Mulder responded to her desperate phone call that night three weeks ago, had taken her to the hospital, taken care of her, taken responsibility for her rape, Scully had to tell him her cherished secret: that she loved him. That love had given her the fortitude to fight back, to seek help, to live. He had kissed her then, just lightly, but in a non-friendly way. He didn't say the words, but she knew that he loved her back. A couple of niggling doubts about it popped up in her mind every now and then because he hadn't, but after every conversation, every glance that they shared since then, she would be sure of his feelings. "Scully?" came the sleepy-sounding answer to the rings. "Mulder...um." Scully didn't know what to say, how to start, how to ask for help, but just hearing Mulder's voice was calming her somewhat. "Nightmare? To what do I owe the honor of this late-night phone call?" He sounded cheerful, supportive--exactly what she needed him to be. "Nightmare, yeah. Well, more like remembering while I was asleep. It..." -was awful, horrible, agonizing- she wanted to say, but she was still trying to save face, being the brave little soldier she was brought up to be. "Was awful," finished Mulder. He knew, his voice grew tighter. "I remember, too. Tell me about your dream." Scully hesitated. "Oh God, Mulder. Stay with me, here, I am trying. I... um... I keep seeing so many opportunities where if only I had done something else. Maybe if I had screamed when they grabbed me, maybe someone would have heard. If only I had hit back harder than I did, or SOMETHING, this wouldn't have happened!" Her voice rose and she started crying again. She snagged a tissue to blow her nose. "Scully, I'm hearing a lot of `if onlys' and `maybes'. Remember, I saw you afterwards, there was absolutely nothing that you could have done to escape those bastards." Mulder paused and took in a deep breath to calm his voice as anger and frustration rose in him. He did not want to give her the impression that he was mad at her for feeling like she did. But it pained him deeply to see her hurt so badly for what might have been "if only..." He expected it, but it still hurt. "Scully, I am amazed that you got away with your life! Three against one is not a fair fight. Dana..." He didn't know what to say. Lord knows that she helped him through nightmare after nightmare. -What would she say?- "Scully, do you want me to come over?" Scully laughed suddenly and with a small snort. Crying was very close to laughter in many ways and she couldn't help it. She could tell how desperately he was scrambling for the right words to say and his solution was so adorable that she could not hold in the chortle. "Why Agent Mulder!" she made her voice sound surprised. "What are you saying? Aren't you the least bit scared that I might try to take advantage of you while you're here?" "Well, um, more like hoping." Mulder replied after a slight hesitation. He was afraid that she was skirting the fear she needed to face, but he also enjoyed some lightness in their conversation. "Well come on over and we will, um, consort" said Scully. Mulder chuckled and hung up the phone. He still found it odd that Scully was calling him, leaning on him for a change. He loved that she did it, but would have given his life for their situation to have come about in a different way. He was having his own problems with her attack, her rape. Mere hours after the ordeal, Scully had admitted to him that it was his presence in her life, her love for him that had gotten her through it. She survived and sought help because she needed to see him again. He felt an enormous amount of guilt over the whole thing. He had called her over because of a nightmare of his own. She had been attacked on her way home from his apartment. This awoke him to a real-life nightmare. The rage and guilt he felt was more than anything he had ever experienced. He felt guilty for not being able to protect her physically when she needed him. But she had lessened the guilt by explaining that he had saved her mentally. Those punks had hurt her terribly, but they hadn't broken her. But the rage he felt was almost out of control. Scully saw none of this, he capped it in her presence, but sometimes he felt so hot it was an effort not to simply explode. Just the day before, he had been taking a fresh pizza up to his apartment when some woman in the elevator began lecturing him on a healthy low-carb diet and explaining, in great detail, how the latest fad diet had her already losing two pounds. Mulder came within an ace of flinging the box at her to ease the painfully hot rage that rose from his belly. In his apartment, he had gone straight to his new punching bag and began smashing the hell out of it. Mulder had bought the bag as soon as Scully was out of the hospital. He felt the urge to hit it after almost every encounter with her. It wasn't her that made him so mad, but seeing her bruises, her new meekness, seeing every subtle change in her that arose because of the rape made him want to hurt something. He imagined it was the three men; he also saw himself, but less than he expected. Guilt was fine, but he wanted to concentrate on bringing those assholes to justice. As Mulder was making the drive over to Scully's apartment, Mulder mentally prepared himself to see her again. It wasn't the injuries. By now, all of that terrible bruising had faded and the scarring was minimal. It was the changes that someone who didn't know her well would never have noticed. He loved Scully, this Scully, with his whole soul, but she was not the Scully that he fell in love with. This Scully was quieter. Her voice was softer. She had asked Skinner to keep it a secret, so she had no help from others at work. Mulder noticed that her behavior towards him was different, too. Her admission of love had made her incredibly vulnerable to him. He realized the trust she had in him as he handed over her heart. He had kissed her because he didn't know how to express his love without it sounding contrived or automatic. Physically, their relationship had not progressed much. For days afterwards, she would tense at every movement he made. She would stiffen and sometimes even jerk away from his touch. She would apologize and force herself to relax again, but it took his almost constant presence for a couple of weeks for them to re-establish their physical trust. They had spent one night together on her couch, just curled up and watching old movies on late-night TV. It had included some cuddling and some nuzzling and kissing, but that was it. Mulder allowed Scully to initiate everything. He would push at the boundaries to test at how far she wanted to go and kept aware of the body language she gave off, but he never pushed at anything that he didn't think she was unprepared to handle. He loved her and did everything short of saying the words to show her. Mulder parked his car behind a van in front of Scully's building. He was suspicious of it because it was unmarked, so he committed the license plate number to memory and checked inside the windows. He saw nothing damning, but decided to call it in anyway, but later, and not around Scully. She was having enough trouble sleeping without worrying about his paranoia as well. It was nearly two AM when he knocked on Scully's door. She opened it wearing a bathrobe over sweatpants and a tee shirt. She looked scrubbed clean, but her eyes were large and red and puffy from crying. Mulder gave her a grin and leaned down. It was a "if she wants a kiss, she can meet me half-way" lean. Scully watched the movement and must have decided against the kiss hello because she turned for the kitchen. She brought out two steaming mugs. "Hot chocolate with peppermint Shnapps," she explained as they sank down onto her sofa. "I am not going to drink caffeine when I am trying to sleep." "Ah, I see," replied Mulder with a wounded tone, "and you called me over so I can bore you to sleep. The truth comes out. I see what you really think of me." But Mulder had noticed that Scully sat down at the far end of the couch, legs tucked up knees to chin with her arms around them. It was a semi-defensive posture that contained the message "Do Not Touch". "Oh, Mulder," Scully said with a small smile, she felt bone tired and didn't feel like witty banter. She looked him straight in the eyes and said, "I invited you over because you make me feel like myself." Scully had been trying to put her feelings into words for about a week and it all came rushing out at once, like the bursting of a dam. "When I'm alone its almost all I can think about. All I see is their faces. I just don't know what to do. I never used to be so scared. Now, shadows make me jump and I don't know if I can make it through the day without screaming." Scully set down her mug, covered her face with her hands and continued. "People scare me. Men scare me. Today, Skinner reached up to scratch his ear a little to quickly and I literally jumped." She dropped her legs and faced forward on the couch. "Even you, Mulder. You scare me sometimes. I know its not your fault, and it doesn't happen hardly at all anymore, but I don't feel NORMAL. But when you are here, when I am with you, I am not so scared. I feel like the fear leaves me, I start to warm up and its then okay to laugh and relax and forget what happened." She turned to him and scooted over to the middle section of the couch. She smiled a small smile, "But I don't know if that right, either. You know? I think that I should be feeling that way on my own." "Hold on a second, Scully," Mulder interjected. "You need to give yourself time. You are going to the therapy group, right?" Scully nodded. "Good, recovery like you want doesn't come about in a matter of weeks. It could take years for your perspective to change back to what it was. I promise, Scully," Mulder lowered his voice to a throaty whisper, "you take my breath away with you inner strength and your capacity to endure what you went through every second I spend with you. And don't worry about Skinner; the guy's quick movements have scared the hell out of me a couple of times, too." Scully chuckled and leaned against Mulder. They situated themselves on the couch until they found a comfortable position with him semi-reclined and her lying along his length with her head on his chest. Once settled, she spoke, "Mulder, you are my strength." Mulder looked down at the top of her head. -Say it now? No, it wouldn't be right, she might take it the wrong way. Implying a physical relationship that she was no where near ready for.- "Scully?" "Hmm?" "I would give you anything that you asked of me, you know that, right?" "Umm, hmm." She was listening to his heart beat. It was lulling and she was drifting. "Scully, tomorrow is Saturday. Wanna make a day of it? Go out and have some fun?" "Hmm. Okay." Scully was fading. Mulder felt her breath go steady and her body emanated heat. It was like sleeping next to his own personal furnace. He sure didn't mind. He had no intention of sleeping, at least of a while. He flipped on the TV and turned it way down and stroked his fingers through his partner's hair. He combed his fingers through it and just reveled in the closeness that he was sharing with another person. He almost felt it a special honor. He knew Scully kept people far away, but tenacity and their unique chemistry had them hooked on each other. With Scully, like he was now, Mulder felt a peaceful and welcome respite from the anger that he could not even escape in sleep. "You don't even realize what you do to me, do you?" he whispered into her hair. He kissed the top of her head and said softly, "Wanna stay here or move to the bed?" "Mmm...dunno. (Yawn) Whatever. (Snore)" and she was asleep again. Mulder sat up and bundled her in his arms and carried Scully to her bed. The covers were already turned down so he went about just tucking her in. As he pulled up the covers, Scully stirred and looked at him with hazy eyes. She reached up and pulled his head down to hers, nose to nose. She just looked at him for a couple of seconds, locked him in. Then she shut her eyes an lifted her head the few millimeters to press her lips to his. Their mouths crushed together, breathing in and out the same air. Mulder fought his jellied legs to stay locked upright, but lost out. He tipped over and pinned Scully to the bed with his upper body. -Oh, shit- he thought as he felt her stiffen under him. Her mouth and eyes squeezed shut. -How am I going to redeem this one?- "Sorry. Fell." He shifted his weight so that she was no longer pinned, but he didn't move from off of her. Instead he started caressing her face. Scully let out a breath that he hadn't know that she had been holding. He buried the heat and rage rising anew and gently rubbed away the tear that had squeezed past her lashes. He kept touching her face, willing the tense muscles to relax. "Scully, open your eyes. Its me. I am sorry." He could almost feel the internal struggle going on inside of her between trust and experience. Eventually, her muscles relaxed enough. She opened her eyes and he looked into them, searching for a clue to help her relieve herself from the pain of fear that she was feeling. He saw something. When she opened her eyes, Scully was mainly conveying the fear of being pinned, trapped. But for an instant, rage that matched Mulder's flashed in those eyes. However, seeing Mulder's concerned face and feeling his light touch allowed the rest of her body to relax into the bed. "Its not your fault," she said with a wry smile. Then she looked at him again, searching for and finding the love in the bond they shared. "Please stay here, at least until I fall asleep." Mulder smiled, relieved. He climbed on top of the covers to lie on his back next to her. They held hands. Soon, Scully slept without nightmares. Mulder slipped off the bed and went to the phone. He dialed a familiar office number and left a message. "Danny? This is Mulder, I would appreciate it if you ran some tags for me when you check your messages. Van with the license plate reading O-U-T-L-A-W. When you find it, give me a call on my cell phone. Thanks." Then, Mulder doffed his jeans and stretched out under an afghan on Scully's couch and eventually fell asleep. ============= The next morning, Scully awoke with a mild headache that came from crying before going to sleep. Immediately, icy fear shot through her as the faces of her rapists flashed in front of her eyes. But almost just as quickly as the fear, a new feeling surfaced: intense anger. She had first felt it last night and it was almost a relief from the meek terror she had been living with for weeks. But the anger had scared her, too. It had a power and a depth she was unprepared for, a power that could get out of control. She wanted full control over her life, but again welcomed a new emotion that helped her forget her fear. Scully slipped out of bed and down the hall to the living room where she encountered a sleeping Mulder, tangled up in her afghan. He lie on his stomach with the blanket wrapped around one of his legs. His tee shirt was riding up, revealing the beautiful muscles of his back. His recently-cut hair was spiky in some places and flat in others. Desire spread through her. It was a very old feeling, one which the old Dana might have acted upon in this situation, but Scully felt like a tease when she started something that she was unprepared to finish. She tip toed into the kitchen to make some coffee. Mulder shuffled in within minutes, jeans back on, Scully noticed with disappointment. "Morning, sunshine, want some coffee?" she asked. "Mm-hmm," he mumbled, plopping down at the table. She joined him with mugs of fresh coffee and they discussed plans for the day. First, they would go out and window shop for a couple of hours. Maybe later catch dinner and a movie. Just then, Mulder's cell phone trilled. He apologized and went into the living room to answer it. "Danny?" "Yeah, Mulder. Got a name for the tags." "Okay," Mulder readied with a pencil and paper. "The van belongs to a Jon Crooked. A separate search showed him as an enlisted man in the army, 23 years old. Only minor offenses on his record. Possession, public intoxication, stuff like that. Oh, and one assault, but it appears as though the charges were dropped." "Is that it?" "Yep." "Okay, thanks. I owe you." "Whatever." Mulder slapped his phone shut and turned to see Scully giving him a questioning look. "Go get dressed and I will explain on the way to my place." She came out of her bedroom 10 minutes later in black jeans that were a little loose, but still flattering, and a black silk short-sleeved, no collar blouse. Her make-up was subtle, but she looked ready for everything that they day had to throw at her. "You're so pretty," Mulder said and smiled, ushering her out of the door before she could protest the compliment. In the car, Mulder pointed out the van and told her that Danny had run the plates for him. Scully said nothing and looked out the window. She was glad that Mulder was looking out for her. But the thought of the attackers so close both chilled her and made her hot with anger. "Well, today is about forgetting that," she announced. "Please, lets just not talk about it." Scully turned and smiled at Mulder. "This is almost a date, I just realized. Do you know how long its been?" "Too damn long, that's for sure. We should have done this a long time ago. We'll make today special," Mulder said, beaming back at Scully. Mulder changed and they went to the outdoor mall with mainly arts and crafts and specialty shops. Mulder disappeared into one of the shops as Scully was looking at some hand-made jewelry. He suddenly appeared at her side, presenting her with a long, small box. The two made their way to a bench to sit. "Aww, and I didn't get you anything," Scully cooed while opening the box. "Your presence is gift enough, my dear," Mulder said extravagantly. "Wha..?" asked Scully as she pulled out a kind of switch blade. "Mulder, these things aren't exactly legal. Where..?" "Don't worry, I won't tell if you won't. Just don't wave it around. Its for protection. I saw one on the movie Face/Off and just thought of you. I saw it in the store and I couldn't resist." It was the kind of knife that flips out and had a wavy blade. It looked dangerous. Scully loved it. Holding it made her feel so in control. Her gun never left her side either, but the knife was more personal, it had more style. Scully grinned and tucked the knife into her pocket, where it wasn't so noticeable. Then she faced Mulder, grabbed his face and planted a huge kiss on his lips. Mulder looked stunned, "Whoa, what will you do if I get you a bazooka?" Scully laughed the first real laugh she had had in weeks and kissed his lips again, more tenderly. The kiss deepened and their tongues dueled for a minute before they finally broke the kiss. Scully settled into his arms as he looked around to see if anyone was ogling their very public display of affection. There were a few, but they all quickly looked away. Mulder and Scully walked from the mall to the restaurant and theater area two blocks away. Neither of them could help staring suspiciously at every passerby. Mulder protectively put his arm around Scully's shoulders. Scully felt safer and she relaxed. She would spend most of the rest of the evening growing less tense. Over dinner, their easy conversation and comfortable silences served to increase the bond she felt growing that had nothing to do with partnership or work. This was entirely personal; she was beginning to fall in love with Mulder all over again for his companionship and attentions to her. The movie they saw was long and it was dark and lonely after they walked out of the theater, hand-in-hand. They began their stroll back to Mulder's car. Mulder simply watched Scully. He tried to see the world through her eyes, but it began to terrify him. He saw potential attackers in every man who passed. He also discovered that their lives were so intermeshed that they would share the same perspectives on many things. So he just looked at her, took in her beauty, her re-emerging vibrancy; just looked at her. That is why he failed to see the white van until it was too late. Mulder and Scully jumped as the roar of the engine neared. They were walking on the sidewalk so close to the road, they didn't have much of a chance to flee. Both were suddenly grabbed by two strong men who each had the element of surprise as they pushed the partners into the open door of the waiting van. -An ambush. They must have been following us all day- Mulder considered briefly. The van sped into a nearby alleyway and screeched to a halt. The two agents, who were at first too stunned to react with the needed intensity began to fight their attackers in earnest. The man who had tackled Scully was the man who terrified her the most. He still had his eyebrow ring and he pinned her to the floor of the van as the driver helped his friend subdue Mulder, who was being dragged out into the alley. Mulder felt the rage again; it was murderous. He would kill all three with his bare hands if he could. -How dare they do this to Scully again! How dare they take away all that she strove to overcome in the last few weeks! What if they killed her this time?- He summoned all of his strength to wrestle off the two men who were doing their best to drag him to exposed piping of an abandoned building. He got a first-hand glimpse of what Scully must have gone through; he knew the fear. Mulder landed a few great punches that left one man stunned, but the other tackled Mulder and with an inane low giggle of delight (-he sounds like Butthead- Mulder thought), managed to snap hand cuffs on his right wrist and the other cuff around the pipe. Meanwhile, inside the van, Scully was fighting off the man scrambling to stay on top of her. She decided, then and there, if he was going to get at her again, it would have to be the hardest thing that he would ever do. She was also surprised at herself. Last time, she remembered nothing but the deep, cold fear that possessed her. She felt none of that this time. Scully only felt anger so extreme that it nearly made her weak. She focused it all into her actions. She spasmed her entire body with such a force and strength gathered from her rage that she bucked the man with the eyebrow ring off of her. He was surprised, but as Scully struggled to rise to her feet, in a more offensive posture, he elbowed her in the right temple with a hard smack. Scully felt dazed and her motor functions went into slow motion. Taking advantage, the man stood and went to the door of the van and yelled out: "Jon, gimme the handcuffs!" "We need `em, Mike. He's stronger than we thought!" "Hey Brian," Mike called out, "did you bring the rope?" "Under the seat, man. Hurry up! This is a lot hairier than last time!" Mike quickly dived for the rope as Scully collected herself and got her bearings. He then jumped on Scully and sat on her chest and positioned her arms above her head and looped the rope around her wrists and tied it to one of the seats. Scully gathered her senses and screamed. It helped blood blow and she struggled anew with violent fervor. She bucked and kicked and struggled against her bonds. When Mike got off of her, she pulled herself into a sitting position. He returned with the familiar 2X4. She could see her old blood stains still on it. That reminder of the loss of everything that bastard had taken filled her with the heat again. She had no idea that anger this profound could exist in a single person. He approached her swinging. He landed a blow to one of her elbows that was protecting her face but was unable to throw another one because Scully kicked out and caught his knee with the heel of her boot. He buckled and she used her other leg to kick away the board. It landed somewhere in the front of the van. After a growl of pain, Mike screamed, "Bitch, you are going to get it now!" Outside, Mulder was doing his best to fight off two men one-handed. Scully's screams from inside the van broke his heart as he couldn't help but imagine what she was going through. Brian and Jon both outweighed Mulder and were in excellent shape. Neither had their weapons, but they managed to take Murder's and toss it way out of reach down the alley. They landed punch after punch. Then, to add the insult, began to describe what they had done and what they planned to do with his "girlfriend". Mulder was beginning to weaken. Back inside the van, Mike tried to pummel Scully with his fists, but she had grown animalistic in her attack against him. She kicked and thrashed with a fury. So, instead of beating her, he decided to just take her. He managed to grab her ankles and pull her into a prostate position. He worked the buttons of her jeans as he strained to keep her still. He finally yanked them off and threw them at her head. She shook them off as her memory kicked in: the knife. As Mike stepped back and worked on his own pants, Scully strained at her pants, searching for the pocket. Her hands were deft and agile despite her bondage and she found it as she heard the zipper of Mike's fly open. Scully brought herself into a sitting position again as the folds of the jeans hid what she held in her hand. She opened it and the blade was ready. Mike again went for her ankles and had less trouble with grabbing them than before, and this gave him confidence. Scully held tightly to the knife as she was jerked down underneath the rapist. She was shouting and crying, but didn't realize it. She turned the blade and sawed the rope confining her wrists. Mike was tugging at her panties and trying to wedge himself between her legs as Scully's hands were freed. He cried out in surprise when her left hand came up and tore out his eyebrow ring. Her right hand, which held the knife, soon followed and slit open his bicep. He screamed, "Jon, GET IN HERE!" Scully stabbed him again in the stomach and again in the chest. He ceased moving. Scully's hands were covered in his blood. She wiped them on her shirt and crouched down, waiting for Jon. He barely knew what hit him. Suddenly, he had his arm pinned behind him and a very sharp blade pressed against his neck. Mulder was down, but not out by any means. His mind was hazy and he saw a blurred image of Scully half-naked. Her shouts echoed and made no sense. He tried to tell her that he was sorry, but the words didn't sound right. Scully looked at Brian and told him to back away from Mulder. Brian looked at Jon, whose neck was bleeding with superficial scratches, then at Scully, the barely clothed woman splotched with blood. He stepped away. Scully then went over to Mulder, never taking her eyes off of Brian, never removing the knife from Jon's neck. Scully was sobbing, but didn't realize it until she had to quiet herself to make out what Mulder was slurring. "Dana, I love you. Dana, I'm sorry, I love you." He repeated it several times. "THE KEY!" she screamed at Brian. "UNLOCK HIM!" her voice was erratic and high, like she had lost it. She was upset and hot, but calm. Things were going slowly and she felt she had ample time for decisions and how best to resolve this situation. She had the power and ever move she made, she made to keep herself in that power. Mulder had grown silent and he was shaking his bruised head. Brian, terrified of this woman, trembled as he uncuffed Mulder. Mulder was seeing more clearly and he focused on the man freeing him. Hatred cleared his mind and blood roared in his ears. With his hands free, he stood to his full height, inches above Brian and loomed there for a couple of seconds. Then he started to beat the shit out of him for what he had done to Scully, what he had planned to do to Scully. Brian, who had never faced anything by himself before, stood no chance. Mulder beat him into unconsciousness within minutes and kept hitting until his rage played out and he sank into tears. Scully saw that Jon was distracted and suddenly turned and pushed him headfirst into the wall of the building. Jon was out. Then, Scully switched the knife into her other hand and walked over to Mulder. She placed her hand, still oily with blood, on Mulder's shoulder. "I killed him, I killed Mike," she choked out. "Good," was all Mulder said and he reached up and clutched her to him. They silently cried for a while, in a tight embrace. They held each other, both understanding what the other had gone through completely. Both grew colder as the rage in them subsided. Both warmed as their love and understanding resurfaced. There was closure. This was the beginning of the end of the pain of the unknowing they had shared. This, they could build on. Fear and rage could be conquered as accepting it, by facing it. No more demons to haunt their dreams, they would survive together. THE END End Note: Sorry, I would go on, but my vacation is almost over and this topic has gotten a little old for me to keep writing on it. This story got much longer than I intended. Just to wrap things up for those of y'all like me who wondered how in the hell they got out of Antarctica, the duo handcuff the unconscious men together, attached to the pipe. Mulder gets his gun back. Scully isn't charged with anything-- self defense. Jon and Brian go to prison for a long time and both die in a riot. Mulder and Scully go through lots of counseling and have a long rocky road to travel before they finally attain a healthy "normal" relationship. They eventually put all of this behind them and stay together and in love. Sorry, no more sequels. No more Scully as the victim for right now. She's too strong. But I have other ideas in the mix. Delirium with Sarah McLachlan was an inspiration for the hot rage theme. Credit where due. LS