Date: Fri, 12 Feb 99 03:48:56 UT Subject: "The Fine Line Between Dreams and Nightmares" (1/2) by Heather "The Fine Line Between Dreams and Nightmares" by Heather Hgct73@aol.com Spoilers: Dreamland (slightly). this is a different take on Dreamland. Summary: Mulder and Scully return home from an investigation but is it really Scully whom mulder returns home with? Angst, UST, x-file. Disclaimer: The characters are not mine, they belong to Chris Carter and 1013. i am just borrowing them. Archival: Gossamer please. Everywhere else, please ask for permission first. Feedback: please! Hgct73@aol.com Dedication: I would like to dedicate this to the Monday Night Ladies. And especially to Lindsey. Thanks so much linz for all your encouragement. ********************* "Fine Line Between Dreams and Nightmares" I looked at the woman sitting next to me. She seemed distracted. I could tell her mind was trying to figure out a puzzle but I just didn't know what puzzle her brilliant mind was trying to figure out. Had something happened during the five minutes we were separated while at the government testing sight. Or was she still upset at the extra attention the blond woman at the testing facility was giving me. Was she upset at me? Was she upset that it was the two of us driving once again, empty handed as always? I thought we had taken care of this though. I thought she knew how much I needed her. How it is she and only she that allows me to continue to have the strength and the will to drive down these roads. The blond. She couldn't have been upset about that could she? Yes, the woman, what's her name, see Scully I can't even remember her name! Karen, yeah that's it Karen. Karen flirted with me but I didn't do anything to encourage her. Actually I thought her vacuous, boring and .... well she simply wasn't Scully. She wasn't unattractive but she just wasn't Scully. Not only that but she reminded me of other women in my life who I would rather forget. Women who saw me as only an addition to their collection. Women who saw me as a prize, something to be won and used but never appreciated . I know I am paranoid but I got the distinct impression that Karen was following us, watching us the whole time we were looking at the facility. I pull up to Scully's apartment and wait for her to get out. She looks at me blankly. "Scully, is something wrong?" I ask. ************************* Karen had known immediately that something had happened. There was a bright light and suddenly she was looking at herself but it wasn't her. She no longer had her long legs. She knew about the tests that were being conducted but.... "Oh shi..." She was interrupted by noises around them. They would be found soon. Her first instinct was to want to be back to her form immediately but then she remembered Agent Mulder. He had ignored her advances because of the red head that was with him. The redhead that she now looked like. It also wouldn't be the worst thing to not be herself for awhile. After all there were some things that were happening that she didn't want to face the consequences of. To live life looking like another for awhile. It may not be that bad of idea. She tricked Agent Scully into coming towards her and hit her with the gun that she now had. Now an hour later she was being called Scully by the man she desired. The man that she would have. The car was stopped. He was waiting, waiting for what? They must be at Agent Scully's apartment. How could she get the man to come inside? "Fox, would you walk me to my door. I am a bit nervous about walking this late all by myself." she gave him her best smile. This would work. She saw his name on his badge when she first met the agent. Fox is right she thought. And what man could resist a woman's plea for protection. This would work. ********************* Fox, and I am scared! What was going on, Mulder wondered. Mulder looked at Scully curiously but got out of the car and walked to her side of the car opening the door for her. Immediately she took his hand and didn't let go. She even brushed up against him as they walked to the apartment. Something was wrong. "Fox, would you come in. We could have a drink or something." Mulder was even more confused but he was also curious so he followed Scully into the apartment. But before closing the door he searched the street for surveillance vehicles. Maybe Scully was playing a role with him. Why, he didn't know, but that would explain her behavior. He only saw an empty street. He closed the door and saw Scully go the direction of her bedroom. "Fox," she called. "There's some wine in the cupboard would you get it out and the glasses." Was she still acting? Wait! This couldn't be Scully. This wasn't his Scully. Something had happened back at the site. This woman wasn't his Scully. He left the bottle on the counter and rushed to the bedroom to demand to know where Scully was. He flung open the door and... froze speechless He didn't know if this was a dream or a nightmare. Scully stood before him in an emerald green satin nightgown that showed off her perfect figure. His body reacted. How could he not. He had dreamed of this moment for so long. A time when he and Scully could show their love not just in life or death situations but through the intimacy of loving another so completely that you join bodies and become one. He was mesmerized by the sight. "Do you see something you like Fox" At the words he was reminded that this wasn't Scully. He walked towards her and demanded to know where Scully was. ******************* How could he know, Karen wondered? Maybe if I can distract him. She knew that the body she now possessed was a powerful one, despite it's smallness. She allowed Mulder to step towards her then she made her move. *********************** Before Mulder knew it he was on the bed and Scully was on top of him. Her lips on his. Her body on his. Her hands on his..... He gasped and instinctually responded but then remembered once again, this wasn't Scully. But she felt so good and he never thought he would be able to taste her like he was tasting her now. No! He couldn't do this. He pushed the woman off of him and onto the bed with him now on top of her. Straddling her body and holding her hands down. This is so hard he thought, as he looked at Scully's beautiful form beneath him, her eyes big and red hair mussed. I want her. I want her so bad it aches. But I want Scully. All of her not just her body. This woman may look like her but it wasn't her soul, her heart or her mind. He could never make love to just the body. "Tell me where Agent Scully is." he demanded. ******************** Testing Facility Scully woke up unsure of her surroundings. The pain in her head caused her to have to put her head back down and close her eyes once again. She heard voices coming into the room and the hard soles of shoes against the floor. "Ms. Thompson how are you feeling?" one of the men in a black suit asked. Scully heard the question but didn't know if it applied to her or not. That realization forced her eyes open. She stared at the man. He was looking at her as were all the men. "Who am I?" she asked. A deep fear gripped her heart. She had no idea who she was. Another man in a dark suit came and sat in the chair beside the bed. In a soft voice he said, "Your name is Karen Thompson and you are going to be just fine." ***************************** Two days later. Kersh's office Karen was dressed in a suit of Scully's but she must have altered the hem a bit Mulder observed as he sat beside her. The skirt was a good deal shorter than Scully would ever allow herself to wear, at least while at work. He wasn't the only person who had noticed. He knew that the woman beside him now wasn't Scully, wasn't his Scully but he couldn't help but get upset at the looks she had received as they walked through the halls that morning. She was still not answering his questions regarding Scully. He was planning on keeping her locked in his apartment until he found Scully, but he had gotten a call from Kersh that morning and he had said if they both didn't appear before his desk in one hour they would face disciplinary actions. So he had been forced to allow Karen to play her role as Scully. But he had warned her to let him do the talking. "Assistant Director Kersh will see you now" said the blond secretary. As they walked through the door Mulder noticed his hand instinctively going to Scully's back but he quickly drew it back when he remembered it wasn't Scully. She only looked like Scully and it felt like betrayal to put his hand on another woman's back. ****************************** "I think the meeting went well. Don't you agree, Fox." Karen said They had gotten back to their new smaller office. Mulder intended to get a few files and try to sneak out as soon as possible and get Karen out of FBI Headquarters. Mulder simply glared at her as she again said his name. He then turned to his filing cabinets ignoring her. Karen couldn't believe that she was being treated like this. She wasn't used to being ignored by men and it wasn't about to happen now. She knew Fox Mulder was a man of sexual urges. She had seen his video collection. All she had to do is give him something he already wanted. His back was turned to her and he was looking at files on his desk. She walked up behind him and began running her hands up and down his thighs. Mulder angrily turned around. She used this to her advantage and pushed him down onto the desk. "Fox, just let it happen." she purred. Once again Mulder was trapped in the most horrifying fantasy. The times he had fantasized about Scully and his desk. The both of them in their conservative suits which quickly ended up on the floor as they let their passion take over. Scully's hands were stroking him as she kissed and nipped at his neck. It felt so good. She felt so good. "Oh Scully," he sighed. She looked up and grinned at him. This isn't Scully, this isn't your Scully his mind quickly reminded him. He took her by the forearm and forced her off of him. "This isn't going to happen Karen. I won't let it. Now I want to know where Scully is. Quit playing games with me." Both of their heads turned as Agent Spender walked into their office. Spender noticed that the two agents were standing close together. Mulder holding Scully, tightly. Their clothes disheveled. "I'm sorry to interrupt." he said and quickly left. Mulder closed his eyes and sighed. He let go of Karen and said to her, "we're leaving. You are going to take me to Scully." ************************* Scully was sitting on the couch in her apartment At least they told her it was her apartment. A photo album sat on her lap. She was flipping through the pages trying to recall someone, something. She was wearing jeans and a sweater, it was the most comfortable thing she could find in the closet. They had told her this was her place but why did the things in the closet seem so foreign to her. So unlike who she felt she was. She shoved the album off her lap and went to stand before the floor-length mirror that was on the door of her closet. She looked closely over her body. Her hands skimming her form. Long legs, beautiful face, shoulder length blond hair. Everything seemed so foreign so unfamiliar. A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. She left the bedroom with a sigh and answered the door. "Hi baby." The dark haired man said as he moved into the room. Before she could even respond he wrapped her in his arms and kissed her. He continued to kiss her moving the both of them backwards until they fell onto the couch. His hands touching her body with familiarity. Scully rationalized that this had to be her lover but she had no recollection of him. And she felt uncomfortable. His kisses and touches doing nothing to her but make her even more afraid over the recent loss of control over her own life. His hands moved down to the button of her jeans. She pushed him off and moved to the opposite side of the couch. "I don't remember you. I can't. I can't do this without knowing who you are and who you are to me." His look of surprise softened into a smile. "I thought you were just acting. That the whole loss of memory thing was an act to mislead them. You really don't know who you are do you?" He asked. Scully shook her head trying to put things together in her head. Trying to make sense of the newness of everything. "Baby, I'm sorry." He said as he moved closer and took her hands in his. He lightly kissed her face. "I'm Brian. We knew each other well, very well." Scully stood trying to get some distance between herself and this man. "You need to leave now." she commanded. His face was a mixture of both shock and surprise. "Karen, are you sure your memory wasn't the only thing affected. I have never known you to turn me down before." he said as he got off the couch and walked toward the door. "I'll leave but there are some business things we need to discuss. You're sure you don't want me to stay." Scully looked at the man standing before her. It hurt to not recognize anyone and to not even know what her own feelings should be. It seemed that this man was a part of her life before but now, now she didn't know. All she knew was how uncomfortable she felt with this man and that she needed to be alone. "I need some time by myself, to get things sorted out." she replied. "I'll let you go for now, but we need to discuss some things and soon Karen." She watched as he shut the door behind him. --------- The silver car pulled into the parking lot of the gas station. Mulder had taken Karen to the facility where everything had started but had found everything abandoned. Now he was frustrated and angry. And he had no choice but to depend upon the woman who sat in the seat beside him. A woman who looked like the one person he had entrusted his life and his truth too but whose soul wasn't that woman and wasn't deserving of his trust. He turned to look at that woman now. "Karen where do you live, what's your address?" "I live in Georgetown Mulder." "No Scully lives in Georgetown." He replied. Karen just shrugged and moved her hand to her face to cover a yawn. "I am tired and hungry. If you take me out to dinner then I might give you the answers you want." She told him giving him a small smile. Mulder turned to face out the front window and stared out into the darkness. With or without Karen's help he would find Scully. As miserable as he was in his current situation it was even worse that he knew Scully had to be in an even worse situation. He was worried because Scully hadn't made any attempt to contact him yet. She would have contacted him unless she was hurt and couldn't. He sighed and pulled out of the parking lot to go to the restaurant they had passed a couple miles back. ********************** Mulder was sipping the ice tea in his glass watching as the woman who looked like Scully drank her second glass of wine. Everytime he had sat across a table from Scully he had enjoyed the conversation they had and the few smiles she graced him with when he made some remark. Now he was just sitting here wondering and worried where his Scully was. He wasn't going to sit and wait anymore he decided. "Sit here and wait for me. I have to make a phone call." Mulder said as he got up from the table. The restaurant they had found was really more of a bar that served food. To escape the noise Mulder walked to the back by the bathrooms and got out his cell phone. Karen was frustrated. By her thinking Mulder should have wanted to be with her. Yet he wouldn't even kiss her knowing that who she was inside the body wasn't Scully. It wasn't the body she was used to but she had to admit Dana Scully did take care of herself. She had a great figure and Karen knew that the blue eyes she know possessed could attract a man. Glancing around the room she saw no sign of Mulder. Sighing she left her empty drink on the table and walked up to the bar. "Danny, this is Mulder. Yeah I know it's been awhile.....I'm alright thanks.....I was wondering if you could do something for me.......Could you look up an address for me. ....Karen Thomspon, she should live in the state of Maryland. Thanks Danny......I'll be waiting for your call." Mulder put his phone back in his pocket and walked into the larger room once again. He saw that his table was empty. His heart began beating faster and he quickly surveyed the room looking for Karen. He spotted red hair at the bar and walked towards her. His anger grew as he saw a man's hands resting on her hips. Scully, no not Scully, Karen, was standing close to the man and looked interested in what he was saying. He walked up to Karen and took her arm saying, "we're leaving now." "I'm not ready to go yet." she replied smiling at the man. "We're leaving now." The man that was talking to Karen stood up and said, "I don't think she wants to leave yet." Mulder sighed and rolled his eyes. Here he was getting into a fight with a 250 pound man because he was jealous of the attention his partner was being shown and she wasn't even his partner! But he wouldn't let Karen use Scully's body in this way. He pushed aside his suit coat just enough so that the man could see the gun he carried. "I'm a federal officer and this is a fugitive. Do you still want to get involved." The man immediately moved away from them both and went to take a seat at the other side of the bar. When they were back in the car Mulder turned to Karen and said, "What were you doing?" "Just looking for some conversation. You weren't too talkative tonight." "Don't do that again. Not while you are in her body." Mulder said with more ferocity than he was aware of. ****************************** Mulder hadn't wanted to stay in the same room as this woman who looked like Scully but he had no choice. He didn't want to let her out of his sight but he didn't want to be near her either. Not when she was like this. Karen was laying on one of the beds handcuffed to the headboard. He couldn't think of any other way to keep her there. He put the cuffs on as gently as possible not wanting to hurt Scully's wrists. He now lay on the other bed, the television was on in the background. He knew he needed to rest but he couldn't, his mind wouldn't let him. "I think I could come up with some good uses for these handcuffs Mulder." "Stop calling me that." "Why, that's what she called you." Karen said then realized that's exactly why. She had been using his last name to be more like the woman whose body she now possessed but she hadn't realized how big a nerve this would hit. "Mulder..." she stopped after seeing the glare he gave her, "Okay Fox, is that better." Mulder sighed, he hated the name Fox but it was better than being called Mulder, at least in this situation. His fantasies of Scully always involved her calling him Mulder and his calling her Scully. She would always be Scully to him. "Fox, what's wrong. I have seen the way you look at her, at me. I know you want Scully yet for some reason this hasn't happened. I am giving you your chance now. I am not dumb, I have watched you these past days and know that you love her but what is it that's stopping you? Are you afraid of moving from friends to lovers? Are you afraid she'll reject you?" There was still no response from the man laying on the other bed so she continued. "I am giving you the perfect opportunity Fox. To have everything you want. To make love to the woman you love but to risk nothing. I won't reject you and she never needs to know." As she said this she looked at him with such longing and passion. Things that Mulder has always hoped to see in Scully's eyes. Things that he had seen before but they had always been interrupted, or one of them would quickly change the subject. Why hadn't it happened yet. Mulder wasn't sure about this. He wanted Scully. Yes that was true but it was more than want it was need. And a need not just for her body but a need for her, all of her. A need to love her and be loved by her. A need to spend not just one night with her but every night and morning with her. Scully was the most important thing in his world and quite frankly that scared him, because he didn't want to mess anything up. Now, here in this motel room he could satisfy his want, without fear of losing everything else. He looked at the woman on the next bed. His eyes couldn't help but roam her body. The full hips, the small waist. She was beautiful. His body longed for hers. He was tempted and Karen saw this. She slid herself along the sheets, making the skirt raise higher on her thigh. Her eyes wouldn't leave his. Mulder began to shift uncomfortably where he sat on the bed. He got up from where he sat and came to the bed where Karen lay. She smiled. She thought she had won. But her smile turned into a dumbfounded stare as he passed the bed and went out the door into the cool, dark night. She lay her head back down upon the pillows and sighed. Mulder shut the door behind him and sunk down onto the grey concrete sidewalk. He breathed deeply and knew that what Karen wanted to give him would never satisfy him. She was wrong. She was only a body. Scully was much more. He longed for all of who Scully was. He didn't love her for her beauty. She was beautiful but there was so much more. When he made love to Scully he wanted her intellect to be there. He wanted to look down upon her face and see her look up at him with trust and belief in her eyes. **************** Scully was sitting at the desk in her still unfamiliar apartment looking over the files that lay before her. She had spent the past two days at her office. Or what she was told was her office. She had called one of the men who had visited her when she woke up. He had told her to call if she needed anything. She needed to start getting her life back so she had called him and asked if she could come back to work. He had sounded surprised and had reminded her that she could have more time if she needed it but she had insisted that she needed to get back to her job, needed to start a normal life again. She had spent her first day back trying to become familiar with her surroundings, she also began to read through the files and documents that had filled her office. What she had found had horrified her. Not only was she someone who deliberately misled both the media and the public but apparently she had betrayed a friend and a coworker. And someone who might have been her lover. She was going through the files for a third time, hoping that something, anything would jog her memory and help her to deny what she hoped couldn't be true. But without her memory she had to trust the evidence before her. And the evidence told her who she was. The type of woman she was. She pushed back the files in shame. Images filled her mind. Images of a tall, dark-haired man saying "I want to trust you." Then the same man telling her, "you are the only one I trust". These images brought with them great feelings of love, respect and trust. A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. She quickly hid the files that were on the desk and brushed at her clothes and hair with her hands, attempting to make herself look more presentable. Before she could get to the door there was another loud pounding. "It's Brian, open the door. I know you are home." She didn't want to face him. Not now, not after what she had learned but maybe he was the only way for her to get answers. Before she was able to open the door more than a few inches the door flung open and she fell to the floor with Brian looming over her. His eyes were dark and furious. "I trusted you. We were in this together and you betrayed me." He didn't raise his voice, he didn't need to. Scully hurriedly got to her feet. She knew that if he attacked her she needed to be in a better position to defend herself. She backed away as he came after her. Her mind tried to come up with a way to convince him that she hadn't done this, or at the least that she had no recollection of what had happened. "I don't remember. I don't remember any of this. I don't know what you did and I don't know what I did." "It doesn't matter. Nothing you could say would make me change my mind." He said as he pulled a gun out of his coat pocket. **************************** Mulder knew he was getting close as Karen began to get more and more nervous. She was fidgeting and he felt some hope for the first time in days. Danny had called him that morning with an address for Karen Thompson. They should be there any minute. ***************************** Inside the apartment Brian pointed a gun at Scully who was trying to think of the best way to handle this situation. She didn't know how or why but this situation seemed familiar to her as did thinking in terms of defense and strategy. "We had it all planned. Why did you betray me, betray us." As he said this he began to move closer to Scully. His hand brushed past the picture of the two of them on the bookshelf. He grabbed it and threw it at her. It struck her on the side of her head above her ear. She stumbled backwards and fell once again. Blood now dripping from the cut on her head staining her cheek. He didn't seem to notice just continued to talk and move closer. "Now you are going to save me. That's right, you are going to sacrifice yourself for me. I want you to make a phone call and tell them it was you. That you falsified the records and sold the files. That it was you and you alone. I want you to tell them that you got afraid, afraid that they would find me so you decided to set me up. Then with me out of the way you would no longer be under suspicion." He grabbed her arm forcing her up. Scully kicked out at him but he was ready for the kick and shoved her to the phone. Placing the gun at her side he placed the phone at her ear and began dialing. "You will do exactly as I say." The gun was pressed tightly to her side. The phone against her ear. Her left arm was free and as she kept her balance by hanging onto the desk that she was being pushed against she felt the metal blade of the letter opener under her fingers. She knew he wouldn't let her live after making this call and this might be her only opportunity. She slowly moved her hand to clutch the blade and began to turn slightly. She plunged the blade into the arm that held the gun and he dropped the weapon to the floor. She tried to grab it but he struck her with his other fist. Off balance she could only manage to push the gun further away from them both. Scully used her legs to push Brian away from her as he tried to move on top of her. She half crawled, half jumped after the weapon that lay on the floor just a few feet away. Brian lunged for the weapon at the same time. They both paused momentarily to look at the door as it flew open and crashed against the wall. A tall man with brown hair and a determined look in his eyes glared at them both, he had a gun raised and pointed directly at them. *************************** When Mulder had reached Karen's apartment he heard loud noises coming from within. He didn't hesitate to kick in the door. What he found upon entering caused the nervousness in his stomach to clench into rage. "Stand up, get your hands in the air" he yelled. . Scully didn't know if he was talking to her or the man that she was struggling with so she slowly got up as well putting her hands in the air. She noticed that the man with the gun had a look of confusion on his face as he noticed her actions. Mulder saw Scully putting her hands in the air and became even more confused. Didn't she know who it was him. He took a step towards the man and angrily threw him against the wall. Pulling his hands behind his back and placing his handcuffs around his wrists. He then walked over to Scully. He was concerned with all the blood he saw and with the bruises he saw on her cheek. Not her cheek but Karen's cheek He put his hand to her face and asked, "Scully are you ok?" She looked at him blankly and said, "Scully?" Mulder swallowed tightly and closed his eyes briefly in both relief and concern he wasn't sure which one was greatest. He was relieved that there was a reason why Scully hadn't tried to contact him but he was also concerned that her not knowing who she was would cause even more problems. "You don't know who I am?" Mulder asked gently. Scully just shook her head. Scully wasn't sure what to think of anything anymore. Not only did she wake up not knowing who she was but a man had just tried to kill her, she discovered she had betrayed that same person, now a man came flying into her apartment and was calling her Scully. "My name is Mulder. Scully, you have blood all over you. Are you ok. I need to know." "I'm fine." she said hesitantly, still trying to make sense of everything. She thought she noted a small smile on the man's face as she said that. "Just a little bruised. He's bleeding though. We need to get him to a hospital." Mulder pulled away from her and went to the doorway. Scully looked after him confused. He entered the room a moment later with a red-haired woman. She looked familiar to Scully but she wasn't able to figure out the reason for this. When Karen saw Brian bleeding on the floor she wasn't sure how to feel. She had betrayed him but to see him bleeding in front of her. Before any of them could think of what to do next the apartment was swarming with men in gray suits and dark ties. Mulder tried to escape from the set of arms that went around him and his anger grew at seeing a man grab Scully and treat her similar to himself. "Agent Mulder, stop. We only want to put things back to normal." Mulder tried to lash out but felt a prick of a needle enter the back of his neck. The last thing he saw was Scully falling unconscious into the arms of the man who was holding her. ***************************** When Mulder began to wake he knew immediately that something was wrong. He wasn't on his couch and that realization made his eyes fly open. He last remembered being in Karen's apartment. Scully was there, but she looked like Karen. Now here he was in what was looking to be a hotel room and lying next to him on the bed was Scully. Or a woman who looked like Scully. They were both fully dressed and lying on top of the covers. Mulder couldn't wait for the woman to wake before he knew who she was. He shook her gently by the arm and tentatively said her name. Scully rolled toward him and sighed. Slowly her eyes opened and when she saw Mulder's face and recognized that she was laying on a bed with Mulder she looked at him with a face of confusion. "Scully?" "Mulder, what is happening here?" "Scully, it's really you?" "Of course it's me Mulder. Who else would I be?" Scully continued to look at Mulder questioningly as she watched the grin on his face grow even wider. Mulder stayed where he was, his hand on Scully's arm, grinning at her. "Mulder" Scully said her eyebrow arching. "Now can you tell me what we're doing here, in this bed together." "I was drugged." he responded with a shrug of his shoulders. Scully opened her mouth as if to say something then thought better of it. She slid herself away from Mulder and went to the bathroom. Before she reached the door Mulder called out to her. "It's good to have you back Scully." She turned back to him and asked, "Mulder what kind of drugs did they give you?" "So Scully are you going to change into something more comfortable now that we're both awake enough to enjoy this bed." "In your dreams Mulder." Scully said as she entered the bathroom and shut the door. Mulder laid his head back down on the pillows and said quietly, "If you only knew Scully." On the other side of the bathroom door Scully leaned heavily against the blue wallpapered wall and sighed, "and in mine." THE END Visit Heather's Fan Fic Archive! http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Crater/3303/hettie.html