From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org Date: Tue, 24 Aug 1999 02:44:50 -0500 Subject: Flashlights by Kesselli Source: direct Reply To: Kesselli@yahoo.com Title: Flashlights Author: Kesselli E-mail: Kesselli@yahoo.com Rating: PG-13 Keywords: Scully P.O.V. , implied MSR, PWP Spoilers: Pusher, Kitsunegari, XF: FtF, Dreamland Spoilettes: Eve, The Field Where I Died Archiving: I went to pre-school, I know how to share. Just send me a little note so I can come visit Disclaimer: Until the paperwork goes through, Scully & Mulder belong to Fox, 1013 Productions and Chris Carter. Or maybe some combination. Summary: Scully helps a teenager with a dilemma Notes: It's late, this is my very first one, so be gentle. I have an idea for a bigger and better story, but I wanted to test the waters first. Dedicated to: Piper, she gave me the courage to do this after she posted her first. Corinne, for turning me into a Phile and a 'Shipper. Sagar, for watching over me every day and night. And to Vickie Mosely, Amanda Finch, Kris Abel, Brekke, Ten, and a million other authors that I love and can't think of right now. Flashlights By Kesselli I suppose that I should be angry at her. She opened my eyes after keeping them shut for so many years. And the annoying part is that I'm not sure if I can blame her and keep a clear conscience. Although I can find fault with her method of bringing the matter to my attention. I said that she opened my eyes. What I neglected to mention is that when she opened my eyes, she shined a god-dammed flashlight in them. -x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x- It wasn't much of a case really. A few too many deaths by exposure in to short a time in a small town in mid July. A little suspicious, but nothing that I'd call an X-File. But I guess that's why Mulder picks them, and not me. But I think the real reason that Mulder picked this one is that it just happens to take place in the UFO capital of the North-Eastern United States. So while he's off interrogating a few people that he thinks might have useful information, I'm sitting here keeping a fourteen year old girl company. It's not like I'm slacking on Mulder here. This teenager happens to be friends, or at least acquaintances, with all of the deceased. And she was "home alone" during every single one of the deaths. So Mulder asked me to stay with her while he went off and investigates, hoping that she might say something either incriminating or helpful. I asked him how she could say anything incriminating about deaths by exposure. He just gave me a look and told me to keep my ears open. I still think that he's wrong, but he's not going to listen to that. So I find myself in this girl's room, just watching her play Breath of Fire III on her PlayStation, and thinking of nothing. It's not often that I get the opportunity to just let my mind blank, especially while on a case. But apparently Eve has other plans for me. Eve. That name just makes me shudder sometimes. Thankfully, this girl sitting before me with short brown hair, lounging in a long-sleeved blue shirt with black and silver pinstriped pants, is virtually nothing to those duplicates. "Can I ask you a question Scully?" she asked me, turning her head towards me to look at me with her gray eyes. "Sure" I reply to her, and see her sigh a little gratefully. "Promise not to tell anyone?" she asks. And I smile a little. I remember what it was like to be fourteen and full of secrets. I nod to her, encouraging her to go on. She surprises me a little with he next words. "I guess you can tell Mulder if you want to. I know that I tell my best friend everything. But odds are he won't really care about this one." Hmmm. "Thanks for giving me permission to tell," I reply to her wryly. "You're welcome," she tells me, noting my sarcasm and not missing a beat. And then she hits me. "Do you think that I should ask my best friend out?" Whooboy. That's quite a question. And one that I need a little more detail to answer properly. So that's what I tell her. She nods at me, and blushes a little. Not surprising, she's in the stage where privacy is a necessity and I just asked her to tell me, a near-total stranger, all the details about a crush she has. On her best friend no less. Ouch. This could become extremely difficult. But I suppose that she sees the need for me to know a few more pieces of this puzzle, since she just asks "What would you like to know?" I smile internally. She's wants my help, and is willing to tell me secrets, but she wants them dragged out of her, and she's not about to tell me more then I need to know. I was kind of like her at that age. So I decide to start small. "What's his name?" She looks down and blushes. "Adam." I have to raise my eyebrow at that. "Adam and Eve?" Eve looks up at me, meets me in the eye. "Yeah. I know. Adam and Eve," she whispers while blushing a little more. "How long have you known him?" "Three years this September." Long time. Well, a long time for someone that's only fourteen. "How long have you liked him?" I figure it's important to know. If she's only had a crush on him for a few days, then it might be better to wait a while longer. Make sure she's sure before she makes a decision that might mess up one of the best things going for her. She pauses for a moment, looks me in the eyes. "Three years this October." Oh my. I think that she's sure. "Does he know that you like him?" This isn't really getting any easier for me. Now I realize that this guy might not be the love of her life. Hell, he's probably not. But at this age, she's very vulnerable. She looks down and hesitates. "Umm. . .He used to," Eve says quietly, looking into my eyes as she speaks, and the back to her lap before she speaks again. Used to? I suppose that my raised eyebrow tells her that I'm a little confused. "I told him about two and a half years ago that I liked him." Uh-oh. "And Christmas Eve of eighth grade I told him I was in love with him." This startles me to the point where I don't thing, I just speak. "You did? Why?" She looks back at me and gives me a slow smile. "How could I not? When you're in love, you want to shout it from the rooftops. The least I could do was tell him." Wow. I stand corrected. She's not much like I was as a girl. As a matter of fact, she's not like I am now. I'm never that open with my feelings. Her eyes appear a little glassy, like she's remembering something pleasant. "And every time that I hung up the phone with him, I told him that I loved him." Wait wait wait. "You've been telling him that you love him for over a year, and you're just now wondering if you should ask him out or not? Isn't that a *little* out of the normal order?" She thinks and slowly nods her head. "I guess you're right," and then Eve smiles at me. A slow, wistful smile. "But then again, me and Adam haven't had a normal relationship thus far. So I'm not so sure why I want one all of a sudden." Ahh. Finally something that I can relate to. "Normal isn't all it's cracked up to be," I tell her quietly. She gives me a quizzical look. "Odd doesn't necessarily mean bad. Take the relationship that I have with Mulder for instance. That's about as far from normal as you can get. But I wouldn't trade a moment of it. Except maybe for the flukeman. I could have lived a perfectly wonderful life without that." As I end that statement, a slight smile crosses my lips. I've said that last line before. I glance up at Eve. Oops. I'm straying. I can tell that by the confused yet interested look on her face that she hasn't half an idea as to what I'm talking about. "Sorry." I apologize. "Kind of an inside joke. But what I was trying to get at was that non-standard can be just as rewarding as standard." She thinks about that for a minute. "But you have to admit that you do have a normal relationship with Mulder." She pauses again. "Can you honestly tell me that having a completely platonic relationship with him is fulfilling?" I skirt the second part of her statement and hope that she didn't notice. "It's a normal relationship up to an extent, but Mulder has a tendency to. . .well, go above and beyond the call of duty. Normal FBI agents save their partners from a maniac killer. Mulder saves me from a mind controller. Twice. Normal agents pick their partners up from the office. Mulder picks me up from Antarctica with a head wound." Eve's eyes narrow, and I know that she's caught my evasion. But they widen again when I tell her just a few of the things that Mulder's done for me. "Why?" And I answer her without thinking. "Because he has to. He took an oath to protect me and every other American." She gives me a look. "Once more. This time with feeling." "You don't believe me?" I ask her. "Not a damn bit. You've found a nice technicality that makes your theory plausible. But plausible doesn't mean right." Crap. "You'd have to ask him about his reasons for his actions." There, that sounds safe. And when did this become an attack on my relationship with Mulder? I thought this was about Adam. She looks at me for a moment longer, studying my face, my expression. "I doubt that I'd have to. I'd do the same for Adam. In a heartbeat. Maybe less." She can't be implying that. . . .Oh my god, she is. "Mulder is *not* in love with me." And somehow I managed to get that out without shaking. Just barely. "Maybe. Maybe not." You can hear it in her voice that there is no way in hell that she believes there is any "maybe" about it. And after she scrutinizes me for another minute, she chuckles. "So do you think that I should ask Adam out?" Thank God. She's giving me a reprieve. "If you love him, why not?" "I was wondering if I should wait or not." "Why wait if it's true love?" I know I've heard someone say that before. She laughs again. "What's so funny about that?" I ask. "Mulder said basically all the same things when I asked him about this." My jaw drops a little. "You asked Mulder?" She nods, a smug smile on her face because she caught me off-guard again. "Yep. I wanted a guy's perspective." I swallow. "And what did he say?" She smiles at me. A big smile like my mother used to give me on Christmas just before she handed me the present that I'd been hoping for since Halloween. "All the same things that you did just about. About how normal doesn't necessarily mean good. How I shouldn't wait if it's true love. And that if you have to go to the ends of the earth to find the person you love, remember to pack what you need, because it can be one hell of a long trip." Wow. Who would have thought it? Me and Mulder giving identical advise. On a relationship no less. I ought to go check and see if they're expecting flurries in Hell. Eve's words break me out of my reverie. "Thanks Scully. Believe it or not, talking to you helped. Now I've got to go make a phone call before I lose my nerve." She leans over and hugs me before she heads for the door. "Tell Mulder thank you for me too, will you? And that I love him. And you too by the way. Thanks." With that, she goes to the door, and when she has her hand on the handle, she turns around. "Scully?" "Yes?" "Mulder said something that I didn't quite understand. Maybe you would. He said that quote, "he wanted to get out of the damn car". Have any ideas what that means?" With that, she closed the door behind her. I pull out my cell-phone out of my pocket and dial Mulder's number with fingers that only shake slightly. I tell him that I talked to Eve. I also relay her messages. And I add that she's not the only one that loves him -x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x- Beeeeeep. "Hi, You've reached 555-0122 and I can't come to the phone right now. But if you leave you're name and number, I'll get back to you as soon as possible." "Hey Scully. It's Eve. Sorry I missed you. Just R.S.V.P.ing. Oh, and if it's not to much trouble, we've decided that I'm going to be ring bearer and Adam's going to be flower boy. Normal doesn't necessarily mean good does it?" -x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x But sometimes flashlights are good. Yep. That was the end. Bet you're praising your chosen deity that it's over. But I do want to know what you think. And I want an honest opinion. But remember that this is the first that I've written. So write me: Kesselli@yahoo.com Or you can Instant Message me using the screen names: Chibi Kyo, Kesselli, or Chinga 450 (I use that the most often). Or icq me, #42808208. Don't worry if it says I'm not online, I usually use the privacy option. And it would mean so much to me if you would visit my homepage and sign the dreambook. "I want to believe but I need a place to start" -x- Alex Krycek The X-Files: Sleepless http://www.angelfire.com/ny3/450AutumnTerrace