From: Kayla Ariev Date: Mon, 17 Feb 2003 15:38:51 -0800 (PST) Subject: For Myself by Kayla Ariev Source: direct Title: For Myself Author: Kayla Ariev Rating: R Spoilers: Requiem Summary: It's just a normal Saturday afternoon, when he dropped by the apartment to dredge up things of the past. Category: S, R Keywords: MSR, alt-universe Disclaimer: The X-Files, Mulder, Scully, and all the rest belong to 1013, FOX and Chris Carter. I'm only borrowing them for a nice little excursion. Feedback to kaylaariev@yahoo.com * * * Scully was busy reading over the medical journals she had brought home with her from work. Having resigned herself to deskwork -- finding her family suddenly more important than fieldwork -- Scully was often bored and restless. So she found ways to entertain herself by taking advantage of the FBI's resources. And she was, technically, still the supervising agent for the X-Files, the one Agents Doggett and Reyes reported to, so she did get to read their field reports, whenever they managed to write one up. And in the meantime, she scoured the dusty library and resource shelves, discovering forgotten, intriguing medical notes, field diaries, even ancient case files and field reports from back in the Bureau's infantile days. The reading was interesting and it kept her fresher where her work was concerned. She had offered, also, many times to share these things with Mulder. But he always refused, finding himself more than content with reading essays and grading tests for the high school seniors he taught five days a week. She appreciated his work hours. He only taught one class -- from 8 a.m. until 9 a.m. -- and then he would come home, by which time she was dressed and ready and would leave for her job at the FBI. His brief work time meant that William was never left with a babysitter or her mother. Occasionally there were days when this was necessary; sometimes Scully had to be in early and sometimes Mulder had to substitute or go to a faculty meeting. They had agreed that when William started school, Mulder would teach more classes. So that Saturday morning, as Scully excitedly read over the latest medical journals she had unearthed, Mulder slept in soundly. It was the weekend -- which meant he didn't have to get up early and that Scully was there to help take care of Will. Sloppy snores drifted down the hall from the bedroom, and when Scully heard them, she chuckled to herself. It was almost noon and she knew of no better way to rouse her husband than to bake something. She smiled knowingly as she pulled down the red and white-checkered cookbook from her shelf and headed towards the pantry. * * * After coffee cake and a long shower, Mulder took over the child rearing so Scully could run some errands -- things like grocery shopping and purchasing lady products at the drug store. Things Mulder had no problem missing out on. He didn't mind so much. In the afternoons, William would watch a cartoon video, suck on half a bottle of warm apple juice, and he'd be out like a light, leaving Mulder in peace to enjoy the Knicks' game. At least, until the hesitant knock came at the door. Mulder was surprised, left silent even, when he opened the door and found himself facing his old boss from the FBI -- A.D. Skinner. "Hey, uh, come on in." Ever since Mulder had left the FBI, since Will had been born, since he and Scully had gone public with their relationship and gotten married, well Skinner had stopped by the house several times. He was a friend, after all. But the thing was, he didn't usually stop by so unexpectedly. He'd call ahead, or they would arrange it beforehand. This was different, and so was his reasoning for showing up. "What did you want?" asked Mulder casually. The two of them headed into the family room, the game on TV now muted. They sat, at chairs on opposite sides of the television set. Skinner was quiet for a long moment, staring briefly at the silent game, tracing invisible patterns on the carpet, on the wall, on his hand. Finally, he looked up at Mulder. "There's something I need to ask you. Something I need to know. I just . . . I just need to know. For myself." "Okay," nodded Mulder, still not sure what his old boss wanted to know. "I know it was going on when it shouldn't have -- when you were working together. And there were always rumors, but they were mostly just rumors. But I need to know, Mulder -- how long was it going on?" "Sir?" "You and Scully. When did it start?" Mulder opened his mouth to say something and then shut it again, thinking better of it. He pursed his lips, his eyes wandering around the room until they came back to Skinner. Mulder leaned back in his chair, rubbing his hand over his mouth. "Why do you need to know so much? I mean, before Will was born, even, you came asking me about the father of Scully's baby. But at that point, it was not my position to tell you. Scully knew how I felt about it -- our relationship, I mean, and our baby -- but I put the choice to announce these things in her hands. I waited a long time to be with her, Sir, and I was willing to wait even longer to announce it just so that she would be comfortable with it. But I just still don't understand why you feel such a burning need to know when it all started." "I'm just curious." He paused, then decided to reveal more. "I supervised your work for a long time, Mulder, yours and Scully's and I saw things change and develop in the way you two acted together. I know that there was always innuendo and I know very early on there was a lot of touching -- innocent touching, but meaningful nonetheless. And I know there were a few kisses before it really became a relationship. Mulder, when did it happen?" Mulder sighed and chuckled lightly. "Who knows, sir? I was ready a long time before she was. She was still too hurt by certain losses, but I was also patient enough to wait. It sounds hard to do -- and it was -- but it was worth it for Scully. I would have done anything for her; I still would." "Were you two still working together when it really happened?" Mulder shrugged. "Well, yeah. The first time we actually slept together was right after I got back from England. But things had been developing shakily before that. She was still hesitant and, despite my convictions, so was I. We had such a perfect friendship that I didn't want to ruin it. But when she asked me to father her child -- when she thought she had a chance of a successful invetro -- that was when I knew for sure that I wanted this. It's part of the reason I said yes." "What was the other reason?" "I loved her, sir. That was when we really knew we could do it, especially after the letdown when it didn't work. But we still had each other and, for the time anyway, that was enough." Skinner nodded, solemnly. "Okay." He stood. "Okay? That's it?" He nodded again, this time more pleasantly. "I just wanted to know." Mulder squared his eyes at Skinner. "What aren't you telling me?" His old boss shrugged. "I'll, uh, I'll tell Scully you stopped by." Mulder knew Skinner was keeping something from him and although he was not sure what it was, he was certain he did not really want to know the answer. Skinner was just relieved that he was off the hook. And he had really wanted to know, just for himself. He just also wanted to know because now he could afford the vacation house he had always dreamed of owning. Maybe he should buy Mulder and Scully a nice, expensive gift, too. After all, the bet was about them. * * * The End * * * feedback to kaylaariev@yahoo.com