From: Amy McClure Date: 10 Jun 1999 07:56:45 -0700 Subject: xfc New Fic: Forgiveness - Part I of VI From: Amy McClure Title: Forgiveness - Part I of VI Author: Amy McClure Rating: R for some language and imagery Feedback to: mulder89@hotmail.com Spoilers: None - I don't think there are anyway Summary: Mulder is confronted by another demon from his past while working on a case. Keywords: X-File, Mulder Angst Archive: Anywhere is fine as long as my name and e-mail stay attached and the complete story is posted. Please let me know where it's archived so I can visit. Disclaimer: Mulder and Scully are not mine. Chris Carter created them and they are magnificently brought to life on screen by David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson. Walter Skinner also belongs to Chris Carter. I am simply borrowing them for my own enjoyment. I'm not making any money off this story and you'll spend more money in legal fees than you'll get from me if you sue me. Part I January 14, 1974 "I'm sorry." A hand met the back of his head, making him cringe. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." The words were barely a whisper. His father reached for his belt and slowly undid the buckle. He removed the belt, folded it in half and brought the middle together to emit a loud forceful snap. He looked his son in the eyes as he continued to snap the belt. The boy's knees began to give way, and he looked in danger of falling to the floor. "Please don't, Dad. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry." The boy had every reason to be sorry. He deserved the beatings his father had suddenly started giving him. The whole thing was stupid. The whole thing was his fault. If only he had... His thoughts were interrupted as his father charged for him and pushed him up against the wall. "Take your shirt off." His son complied without a word of protest. Begging him to stop never did any good - he knew from experience that it would probably just make his father angrier and his beating more severe. "Put your hands up against the wall." Once again, the boy complied. He knew all too well the intense pain that was about to follow. His father would whip his bare back with the belt until he either grew bored of it or his conscience kicked in. The boy never knew which of these things made his father stop and walk out of the room - all he knew was he'd have to endure the whipping until, whatever it was, made his father stop. He never cried during the beatings. He had thought about this many times - why he never cried while the beatings were actually happening. He'd come up with a couple of reasons: number one, it would probably make his father even angrier. His reaction would most certainly include something about how no son of his was going to be a crybaby. 'Be a man.' 'Take it like a man.' 'Cryin's for girls. Are you a girl?' Those were the types of things his father would say to him. He'd probably also add a few more strikes than he was originally intending just to make his point. Number two: he didn't want to let his father see him cry. He was only 12, but he'd be damned if he was going to let his father see that he'd gotten the best of him. This one wasn't too bad. Ten hits with the belt - no strikes with his hands. He had gotten into the habit of counting while his dad was whipping him. It seemed to help take his mind off the pain - gave him something to concentrate on. Five to ten wasn't bad at all. He could handle that - God knows he'd handled worse. The highest he'd ever counted for a belt-whipping was forty-six. If he could live through that, he could certainly live through ten. Good old dad was always careful now not to hit him in places that were visible. God forbid anyone would know there were even more problems in their household. One problem was known to everyone - this one would be kept a secret. He'd been kept out of school once for an entire week because his father had gotten carried away. He'd given his son a black eye and a fat lip. Not only was he not allowed to go to school that week, but he was also forbidden to leave the house. A new snow had fallen the night it happened - he wanted nothing more than to go outside and sled, maybe even join in on a hockey game down at the ice rink. But no - he had to stay locked up in the house until his face healed. His mom had called his school and told them there had been a death in the family and the funeral was out of state. His mother knew what was going on, but she was too scared to do anything about it. She'd always been a little scared of her husband. Especially now - after what had happened. Telling him to stop hitting her son would only result in beatings for her as well as the boy. So she played the part of the good wife - kept her mouth shut and kept a smile on her face when she was out in public. The boy had soon learned that alcohol intensified the beatings he sustained. Scotch - that was his father's drink of choice. He'd learned to invade his parents' liquor cabinet and pour out some of the scotch each night. He would carefully replace it with water - making sure he knew the exact level the liquid had been at so he could replenish the supply. Always careful not to pour out too much - if his father tasted weak scotch, he'd know. He'd know exactly who did it and he would make him pay. His father began to loop his belt back through the loops on his pants. Without a look or a word to his son, he turned and left. He always gave the bedroom door a good slam behind him. Then he would proceed downstairs to have yet another scotch. The boy didn't even bother to put his shirt back on. He walked slowly around his bed to the corner. This was where he always went after his father had taken out his aggressions and frustrations on him. He had the headboard up against one wall and left only about 2 feet of space between the bed and the wall on its left. When he curled up in that corner, he felt safe. He was surrounded - couldn't see the door his father had just slammed shut - couldn't see any of the windows in his room. It was the lone spot in the house he could escape to. His only hope now was that his father would go downstairs and drink his scotch until he passed out watching television. If anything happened between his father's descent down the stairs and the darkness swallowing him, another beating would be sure to ensue. Every noise in the house startled him. Every creak of the floorboard, every light switch being turned off or on - no matter how small the noise, it sent terror rushing through the boy's body. Any noise could mean his father was on his way back up the stairs. Tears began to stream down his face as he curled up on the floor. He brought his knees up to his chest and buried his head in between them. It wasn't the physical pain that caused them to fall. If it were just physical pain, he could handle that. It was the words that usually either preceded or accompanied the beatings. 'How could you let this happen?' 'This is all your fault!' 'YOU were in charge! YOU blew it! YOU screwed up!' 'You're WORTHLESS. Just a worthless piece of CRAP - that's all you are!!' 'She's gone because of you!!' Years later the scared boy in him would realize that those last words were, in fact, true. His father had to make a choice - the hardest choice a parent would ever have to make. The choice between his two children. Fox Mulder was still here because his father had to make that choice. June 8, 1999 - 8:05 a.m. Federal Building, Washington DC "Morning Mulder." "Morning sunshine. I was just about to call you to make sure you remembered you had to be at work today." Jesus, five minutes late and he had to give her hell about it. "Sorry. I'm going for coffee. Do you want a refill?" "Yeah sure." Scully made her way over to his desk to take his coffee mug with her. His phone began to ring as he handed her the mug. "Mulder." He held up his index finger, signaling Scully to hang on while he listened to the voice on the other end of the receiver. "Okay, we'll be right there." "Who was that?" "Our presence has been requested in Skinner's office." Great. Not even time to get her morning jolt of caffeine before facing her AD. Skinner's assistant motioned for the two agents to go in and she got up to shut the door behind them. "You wanted to see us sir?" "Yes Agent Mulder. Agent Scully. Please take a seat." The two agents waited patiently while Skinner buzzed his assistant and asked her to hold his calls. "A case came across my desk this morning and I want the two of you on it." "What sort of a case?" Scully could only imagine what sort of a wild goose chase they'd be sent on this time. "There is a 10 year old boy in Seattle, Rob Wilkins, who has been showing up at school with black eyes and bruising that is consistent with child abuse." "Doesn't that fall under the jurisdiction of the PD and Child Services in Seattle?" "Yes it does Agent Mulder. The local police have been to the house a number of times. They have been to family therapy and nothing has changed." "I'm sorry sir, but I still don't understand why the FBI is getting involved in this case." "Well, the interesting part is still to come Agent Scully. Both the father and mother claim vehemently that they've never laid a hand on the boy. The boy backs up their claims, but has refused to say who has been abusing him." "Sir, I..." "Please let me finish Agent Mulder." Mulder nodded his head slightly in apology. "The child was placed in a foster home one night and had fresh bruises the following morning. The family he had been placed with has taken in ten children over the last fifteen years, and have never had an incident. The boy was questioned once again and..." Skinner seemed more hesitant than usual to continue. "...he finally told the police who had been beating him. Rob claims his Grandfather has been hitting him all this time." Mulder leaned forward and opened his mouth to ask the obvious question, but Skinner stopped him before he could get a word out. "His Grandfather has been dead for six months Agent Mulder." "Did the beatings start after the Grandfather passed away?" "Yes. The beatings commenced the day after the Grandfather died." "So his parents are upset about the death and start abusing the child to..." "There's more to the story Agent Mulder. That evening, the child was placed back at home. A surveillance camera was set up in his bedroom, and three police officers made sure that the parents stayed in the living room. A few hours later, the officers began to hear noises coming from the child's room. When they heard the boy begin to scream, they proceeded to his bedroom. When they walked into the room, they claim they heard a slap and saw the child's head turn forcefully as if the slap had hit him on the right cheek. The noises ceased and Rob sunk down to the floor. There was no one in the room with him." "The surveillance tape?" "Upon review of the tape, it was confirmed the child was alone in the room." "Was he inflicting the injuries upon himself?" "No Scully, he was not. The tape has been reviewed countless times by countless police officers, detectives, social workers and psychiatrists, and they have all come to the same conclusion. An 'invisible force' is responsible for the attacks." To be continued in Part II... Forgiveness: Part II of VI Author: Amy McClure Disclaimer and summary can be found in part I Riverview Inn & Suites - 5:00 p.m. Seattle, Washington Nine hours after their meeting with Skinner, the two agents checked into their hotel. They made their way up to the seventh floor in silence. Scully noticed her partner had been unusually quiet during their trip. He had offered no theories or explanations, no complaints about the case being a waste of time, nothing. Scully stopped at room 726 and Mulder continued to 728. They both unlocked their doors, picked up their bags, and entered their respective rooms perfectly in synch. Scully proceeded to the door that adjoined their two rooms, unlocked and opened it. She waited for a full two minutes, and his door did not unlock or open. This was strange. They always requested adjoining rooms and when they got them, the first thing they both did was unlock and crack open each of the doors. She knocked on the door that still separated her from her partner. "Mulder?" Mulder had shut the door, dropped his bag and lay down on the bed. He was lying on his back with his hands behind his head staring at the ceiling when he heard her knock. "Shit," he mumbled under his breath as he got up and moved toward the adjoining door. I just want to be left alone, but she's not gonna let that happen until I open that door. He unlocked the door and opened it just a crack before making his way back to the bed. "Mulder? You okay?" "I'm fine Scully." He sprawled back out on the bed as he mumbled this to her. "You don't seem fine. You haven't said two words since we left Skinner's office." "I guess I'm just tired." "Not looking forward to the case?" "It's got nothing to do with the case Scully! I'm just very tired and I really don't feel like talking now!" She stepped back suddenly as if his words had delivered a physical blow. He saw the stunned and hurt look in her eyes and instantly wished he could take back what he just said. Well maybe not *what* he had said, but *how* he had said it. It sounded a lot harsher than he had meant it to. His voice took on a softer tone, "Scully I'm sorry. I didn't mean it the way it sounded. I just..." "Forget it Mulder. I'm going across the street to get dinner. Do you want me to bring you back something?" "No thanks. I'm really not hungry." As she passed back through the adjoining doors, she closed both of them softly, not wanting to disturb her partner any more than she already had. She had an uneasy feeling as she ate her chicken salad sandwich at the diner across the street. Strange behavior was a character trait she had come to expect over the last six years, but this was stranger than usual. Nothing had been said to set him off. He seemed fine until Skinner had finished briefing them on the case. If he was angry that the case was a waste of their time, he would have told her as much. He always had before. They always talked on their plane rides together. He would squeeze her hand tight from the time the plane started moving until they reached their cruising altitude. There were two fears she knew plagued her partner - fire and flying. He'd never admitted that second fear out loud, but it was obvious the way he'd reach for her reassuring hand while his spine straightened and his body tensed. He hadn't done that today. He had simply taken his seat next to her and stared at the back of the seat in front of him. The flight attendant had to ask him twice if he wanted dinner - he had been oblivious to the fact anyone was talking to him the first time she had asked. She finished her dinner and ordered a roast beef sub to take back with her, in case he had changed his mind. When she returned to the hotel, she knocked on the door. Once again, he opened the door a crack and returned to his bed. "I know you said you weren't hungry, but I brought you something in case you changed your mind." "Thanks." "Come on Mulder. You haven't eaten a thing all day." He shrugged his shoulders, all the while still staring at the ceiling. "You sure you don't want to talk about something?" The ceiling must have held something fascinating that only he could see, because he still wouldn't take his eyes off of it. "I'm sure." "Well I'm right next door if you change your mind." With that, she closed one door between them. She left her door open with the small hope that he would take her up on her offer. Riverview Inn & Suites - 8:15 a.m. June 9, 1999 There was a knock on her door and she let Mulder in. "I'm sorry. Just give me two minutes and I'll be ready to go." "It's okay, Scully. Take your time. We're going to be early anyway." She went back into the bathroom to put the finishing touches on her makeup. Sleep had not come to her until about 3:00 that morning, and she had nearly slept right through her alarm. God she was tired. Too much worrying about Mulder again. After she was happy with her appearance, she returned to the outer room. Mulder was sitting on the chair with his feet up on the bed. "Ready?" "Yeah. Sorry." "Don't worry about it. It's fine." One look into his eyes told her that he'd gotten even less sleep than she had. If she had to guess, she would say he probably didn't sleep at all. He probably had every bump and crack in that ceiling memorized by now. "Sleep well?" "Yeah fine," he lied. The drive to Rob Wilkin's psychiatrist was done in complete silence. Scully had offered to drive, knowing full well that her partner hadn't slept, but he had insisted on driving. Gee what a surprise. Dr. Goodwin's secretary motioned for them to sit and offered them coffee while they were waiting. They had both accepted her offer - a good caffeine high might help the day become more bearable. Their appointment had been made for 9:00, but they weren't admitted into the office until 9:45. The irritation was evident to the doctor when they finally sat down across from him. "Busy morning?" "Yes Agent, uh..." "Mulder. This is my partner, Agent Scully." "I'm sorry for making you wait. I had a bit of a crisis this morning." "Rob Wilkins. What can you tell us about him?" Dr. Goodwin proceeded to tell the two agents in detail about his sessions with the Wilkins' family. Rob appeared to be a pretty well-adjusted, polite and intelligent young man. Neither him nor his family had ever had any real trouble until the day after the Grandfather had passed on. From that point on, the boy was being abused on a pretty regular basis. It wasn't until just a few days ago that Rob had finally admitted who his abuser was. "Why do you think it took him so long to come forward with that information?" "Well Miss, I believe..." "It's *Agent Scully*," her partner corrected. "I apologize. Agent Scully, I believe the boy was simply scared that no one would believe him." "Do you believe him?" "No I do not Agent Mulder." "Why?" "It's ridiculous to believe that the spirit of someone who has crossed over could come back and do physical harm to a human being." "Why is it ridiculous?" "Any scientist or doctor will tell you that the ideas of ghosts and spirits haunting the living is completely preposterous. Scientific law completely debunks the whole idea." "Well, Dr. Goodwin, I am a trained psychiatrist and Agent Scully is a trained medical doctor. I can't speak for her, but I believe that these things are possible." "Stories and myths. That's all any of this is. I believe in the afterlife. I believe that our soul ascends to heaven and that is where we all spend eternity." "So you believe that the soul is an actual entity, but you don't believe it can get caught between the world of the living and the world of the dead?" "No I do not sir." "How do you explain what has been happening to Rob Wilkins?" "I believe the child has been doing it to himself on a subconscious level. Some sort of repressed guilt that his Grandfather's death brought to light." "What about the surveillance tape? We've heard that tape shows the boy being beaten by an unseen entity. You've seen it haven't you?" "Yes Agent Mulder, I have seen the tape. However, if you had bothered to read my report to the police..." "You were our first appointment this morning, Dr. Goodwin. We have not had a chance to review your report." "As I said, if you had read my report, you would have read that I believe the child had inflicted the wounds upon himself before the actual "attack" happened." "When would he have done that? He was with police all day and the surveillance camera was turned on before his parents or police left his bedroom." "There were times that day that the child was alone." "Such as?" "Such as the bathroom, Agent Scully. The tape shows the child was alone in the bathroom for quite some time before coming back into view of the camera." "And you obviously don't think he was brushing his teeth during that time?" "No sir. I do not." "Thank you for your time Dr. Goodwin." Mulder rose from his seat and made his way to the door without another word. "I assume you'll make yourself available to us for further questioning?" "Yes Agent Scully. Whatever you need." "Thank you." To be continued in Part III... Forgiveness: Part III of VI Author: Amy McClure Disclaimer and Summary in Part I Seattle Police Department - 11:45 a.m. "Agents, we were beginning to worry. We were expecting you an hour and a half ago." "I apologize, Captain. The trip to Dr. Goodwin's took longer than expected." Captain Dobbs smiled and nodded at the lovely redhead who was speaking to him. 'If all the female agents are this good looking, I've got to get myself a job in Washington,' he thought to himself as he escorted the two agents into an interrogation room. "May we view the surveillance tape?" "Yes Agent Mulder. I have it right here." The three viewed the tape in silence, all of them staring intently, trying to pick up every detail. Anything that might indicate the child was faking the attack. "Looks pretty real to me. What do you think Scully?" "The child could just be a good actor Mulder." "You think this is a bunch of crap don't you?" "I think the boy needs help. Whether it's psychiatric help for the child himself, or separation from his family I do not know. But one of them will have to happen here." "Captain, what do you know about the boy's relationship with his grandfather?" "The grandfather is dead Agent Mulder." Mulder took a deep breath and suppressed his desire to say what was really on his mind. His teeth were clenched as he said, "I mean when the grandfather was still *alive.* Did they have a good relationship? Was there any history of abuse?" "The parents and the boy both insist that the boy had a good relationship with his grandfather. There is; however, one thing about this family that sheds some interesting light on this case." "What's that?" "Rob had a twin brother named Samuel. They were identical. Samuel was killed two years ago in a bizarre accident at the grandfather's home." "Bizarre accident?" "Yes sir. The two brothers had gone up to the roof of the grandfather's two-story home. The grandfather was in the kitchen when he heard yelling coming from the roof. He got outside just in time to see Samuel desperately trying to hang on to the gutter with one hand while his other hand hung limp next to his body. The boy was screaming for his brother to help him. Samuel soon fell to his death." "Okay, a traumatic experience from childhood..." "No Agent Mulder, Samuel's death was ruled an accident, but the grandfather insisted it was murder." Both agents raised their eyebrows in anticipation of the Captain's next words. "Until the day he died, the grandfather insisted that Rob had caused Samuel's fall. He claimed he saw Rob crawl down until he could reach Samuel. Then Samuel's left hand, the hand that was holding on to the gutter, flung back behind Samuel's head before he fell to his death." "His fingers slipping off the gutter wouldn't have caused his arm to fling back past his head. The grandfather thought that Rob intentionally took Samuel's hand and tore his hand from his grip on the gutter?" "That's what he said, Agent Scully." "Why was the death still ruled an accident?" "The police didn't believe the grandfather's claims. Everyone working the investigation claimed that the shock of seeing his grandson hanging precariously from his roof had clouded his judgment." "What reason would Rob have had to kill his twin?" "The psychiatrist assigned to the case claims that Rob always had some feelings of resentment toward Samuel. He seems to have felt that people liked Samuel more than they liked him." "Did he ever say anything specific to the grandfather in that respect?" "Yes Agent Mulder, he did. Rob's parents claim that he has always idolized his grandfather. He's all the boy would talk about for weeks after seeing him. He asked questions about him all the time - about his past, what he did, what he was like - and said that his dream was to be an English Professor at a university." "An English Professor? Was that his grandfather's career?" "Yes it was. Rob didn't want to be a fireman or a police officer like most boys his age. He wanted to walk in his grandfather's footsteps and become an English Professor. His mother told us that Rob felt he needed to try to make his grandfather proud so he'd like him as much as he liked Samuel." "May we take a look at the hard files on this case?" "Of course. I'll get them for you." Once the captain left the room, Scully turned to her partner. "What do you think?" "I think it's entirely possible Scully. I've read many accounts of spiritual entities coming back for revenge on someone who wronged them or someone they cared about in life." "Reliable accounts?" "You know what Scully? I don't want to get into this right now. I lied to you before when I said I had slept well - I didn't sleep at all. I'm really not in the mood to fight my beliefs with you right now, okay?" Normally she would have been irritated by words like that, but his tone of voice led her to believe that he was not trying to be difficult. Something was clearly bothering him and he wasn't ready to tell her what it was yet. The captain returned with mounds of paperwork for the two agents to sift through. Mulder took the top half and Scully took the bottom half. They read the different accounts, opinions, police statements and behavior profiles, speaking only when something important to the case caught one of their eyes. Riverview Inn & Suites - 10:00 p.m. The day had been much longer than either of them had anticipated. The files took forever to go through, and they had gone to take statements from Rob's parents after that. The accounts from the boy's mother and father meshed with what they had learned at the police station. Rob had definitely been jealous of his twin brother and had idolized his grandfather. The man's death had virtually destroyed him. "Goodnight Scully." "Goodnight. I hope you're able to sleep tonight." "Yeah, you and me too." The door closed behind him as Scully made her way into her room. She reached over and cranked the air conditioning - it had to be at least 90 degrees in her room. The sweat had seeped through the white shirt she had been wearing. Some effort was required to remove the tight silky shirt from her body. The cold water felt like heaven on her hot sweaty skin. Mulder stripped down to his boxers and lay down on the familiar spot on his bed. He shut his eyes, but the visions became too much and he had to open them again. Visions of his father with that look of hate in his eyes. His father taking off his belt. Snapping it together. He could still hear that sound like he was back in his bedroom again. 'Take your shirt off. Turn around.' 'I'm sorry dad. I'm sorry.' 'Shut up boy! Don't look at me! Don't you dare look at me! Look at the wall!' Then the hitting would begin. Sometimes with his hands, sometimes with the belt. Sometimes it was a little of both. He'd hit with his hands until his hands started to hurt, then he'd turn to the belt for a while. Tears found their way to his eyes and began to drip down past his ears. He couldn't get the cold, unfeeling face of his father's out of his head. Just before the beatings, his eyes always grew so cold, so distant. Mulder could almost feel jolts of lightning through his body when his father looked at him with those eyes. The tears started to stream down his face at a quicker pace. He turned over on his side, brought his knees up to his chest and buried his head between them as he wept. He wept for never coming to terms with his father when he was alive. He wept for his sister whose disappearance had been the catalyst for the beatings. He wept for the childhood he had lost - years he could never re-live - years he lived in absolute terror of what was in store for him when his father came home. Riverview Inn & Suites - 4:30 a.m. Sleep had not yet come to Scully. She was worried about him. What was it about this case that was getting to him so badly? He'd been fine that morning before Skinner gave it to them - he had seemed fine anyway. They joked and flirted like usual while the elevator lifted them from their basement dwelling to Skinner's top-floor office. There was no joking on the way down - and none since then. It was then that she heard it. It was barely audible at first, but it gradually became louder. He was whimpering and crying. 'No, no, please no. Not again,' over and over again. Each time growing just a little louder than the time before. She made her way over to the adjoining door and leaned her head against it, straining to hear what was going on. 'No, no. Please. No. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.' The turn of a knob and a slight push gave her a glimpse of what was happening to him. He was having a nightmare. His whimpers and cries were still getting progressively louder as she slowly made her way over to him. Just before she reached him, he began to thrash around in the bed. The sheets were quickly wrapped around him as he continued to thrash wildly with his hands and roll back and forth. 'No! No! Dad please! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! Dad no!' She quickly closed the four-foot gap that still separated them and tried to grab for his hands. "Mulder! Mulder wake up! Mulder!" Suddenly his eyes snapped open and he quickly looked around the room. His breathing was heavy and sweat had drenched his brow. He had yet to realize that Scully was in the room with him. "Mulder? Mulder it's me. It's okay. It was just a dream." His body relaxed slightly as he finally made eye contact with his partner and realized that he was safe. "Scully?" "Mulder I'm here. Everything is okay." She sat down on the bed next to him and put a pillow in her lap. She coaxed Mulder over close to her and laid his head down in her lap. Her fingers gently stroked his hair as she whispered reassurances to him. His face and eyes reminded her of how a frightened little boy might look. She knew his childhood had been traumatic, but what had brought this on was a complete mystery to her. They sat like that for nearly an hour. Mulder's head was buried in Scully's lap - tears fell from his eyes every now and then. Scully stroked his hair, then his brow, then his shoulders, whispering to him that it would be okay. She was here with him. He was safe. After the hour had almost passed, Scully decided he had calmed down enough so that she could try to get some answers from him. "Mulder talk to me, please. What's upsetting you so much about this case?" "Scully, I really don't..." "Mulder, whatever it is, it is clouding your judgment. Your work is going to get sloppy and you could put both of us in danger." She silently thought of some of the comments Mulder had made to Rob's father. Accusing comments. 'How could you hurt a defenseless boy' type comments. His professionalism and detachment were being affected, and it would end up costing him dearly if he didn't stop. Mr. Wilkins had been infuriated by a few of his comments and had threatened to throw him out of their home more than once. "While you were dreaming, you were screaming 'no,' 'please,' 'don't,' and 'I'm sorry.' You mentioned your father a few times. Any of that ringing a bell Mulder?" "It was a long time ago Scully." "What was a long time ago?" Her voice had taken on a very motherly, protective tone. "The...well after Samantha...my father..." She could feel his body beginning to tremble as he tried to find the right words. "It's okay Mulder. Take your time." "The...I was dreaming about the...the...beatings." "Beatings?!" The shock in her voice was apparent as she said the word. "My father...he used to...he would...hit me...whip me. He told me it was my fault that Samantha was taken. I was in charge. I wasn't watching her like I should have been. I wasn't protecting her like they had trusted me to." His voice was cracking as he said the last few sentences. He had barely been able to finish before sobs racked his body and he again buried his head in the pillow on Scully's lap. "Oh God Mulder. I'm so sorry. I had no idea." She leaned her head down and kissed the back of his head. She did the best she could to nuzzle up cheek-to-cheek with him. Her fingers rubbed up and down his back as he sobbed. Once he had calmed down somewhat, she tried to reassure him again. "It was not your fault. You did nothing wrong. Samantha would have been taken no matter what. You know that and I know that. What happened to your family was horrible, but that didn't give your father the right to abuse you. Physically or mentally, for that matter." Yet another reason he's always so protective of children he feels are in danger, Scully thought. Not only did he watch his sister be taken from their home when she was eight, but he also suffered emotional and physical abuse from his father because of that. "Mulder your judgment is being clouded in this case. It's completely understandable. I was never abused as a child, and this case bothers me - I can't imagine how much it bothers you - someone who suffered through abuse when he was younger. I really think we should catch the first plane back to DC and let someone else..." "No Scully. I want to solve this case. I *need* to solve this case. I have to help that boy. He's a helpless ten-year old boy - and no one believes his story. No one but me. He needs me Scully - I was him once. No one believed me either. He needs my help, and I'm going to stay here and give it to him." To be continued in Part IV... Forgiveness: Part IV of VI Author: Amy McClure Disclaimer and Summary in Part I Riverview Inn & Suites - 6:30 a.m. June 10, 1999 Scully was still seated on Mulder's bed - his head on the pillow in her lap. Neither of them had really slept. Scully didn't get a wink and Mulder only had about fifteen minutes of nightmares before she woke him. They had spent the rest of the early morning hours talking and trying to get him calmed down and get his head clear. "Mulder it's 6:30. We'd better start getting ready to go." "What time are we supposed to meet Rob?" "8:30." "You go ahead, Scully. I'm going to take some aspirin and try to relax a little longer. After all, I don't take as long getting ready as you do." Ah, there's the hint of sarcasm and teasing again. She had missed that. "Okay. I'll check in on you at about, what, 7:15? Make sure you're awake?" "Sounds good." "Okay." He watched her give him a warm smile before turning to go back into her room. "Hey Scully?" "Yes Mulder." "Thank you. I don't know if I would have made it through the night without you." "I'm always here when you need me. Remember that." "Yeah, I will. Same goes for you, you know." "Yes, Mulder. I do." Seattle County Courthouse - 8:30 a.m. Office of Child and Family Services "Agents Mulder and Scully. We're here to speak with Rob Wilkins." "Have a seat please." "Thank you." After fifteen minutes had passed, the two agents were once again becoming irritated. "I don't know about you Scully, but I'm getting pretty damned sick of showing up for appointments on time and then being told to wait and wait and wait some more." "I know how you feel." "If I'd known we were going to have to wait again, I would have let you primp for a few extra minutes." "Are you saying I needed a few more minutes?" A sly smile crossed her lips as she looked at him. "No. I'm only kidding. You look beautiful - you always look beautiful." Scully blushed a little and looked down at the floor. Had he ever said that to her before? Not that she could recall. There were a few minutes of awkward silence after that comment. He kept stealing glances over at her while she was looking the other way. God he loved her. At times he found he would forget just how much he cared for her, and then an event like last night would happen. The way she had held him, comforted him, stroked his hair, stroked his back, kissed him lightly on the top of his head - he had felt completely safe in her arms last night. Nothing could touch him as long as she was by his side. No one but her could make him feel that way... His thoughts were interrupted as the receptionist called their names and told them to follow her. They entered a small room with a rectangular wooden table and four wooden chairs - two on each side. A distinguished looking man with gray hair and a gray mustache greeted them as they came in. "Agent Mulder, Agent Scully - it's a pleasure to meet you both. My name is Larry Young." "Where is Rob Wilkins?" "He is waiting in another room." "Waiting for what?" Mulder couldn't hide the exasperation in his voice. They'd waited twenty minutes to see the boy and now this guy - whoever he was - was calling the shots. "I wanted to talk to the two of you before he came in." "What about? We've made it perfectly clear why we are here and what this interview will entail." "Yes Agent Scully. I am well aware of that. However, being his attorney, I felt..." "His *attorney*?" "Well yes." "Why does a boy in his situation need a lawyer?" "His family is well aware of the fact that his Grandfather always viewed Rob's brother's death as a murder. You are aware of this story, I assume?" Mulder nodded his head sharply. "His parents and Dr. Goodwin both felt that Rob should have an attorney present during FBI questioning - in case the question of his brother's death arose." "We spoke with his parents and Dr. Goodwin yesterday. Neither of them mentioned anything about a lawyer." "Does it really bother you that much that I'm here, Agent Scully? Do you have to change your tactics now that you know the boy has legal counsel?" "No Mr. Young. I guess I'm just surprised. We're here to find out who has been beating this young boy. The circumstances of his brother's death has no bearing on this case. Or do they?" "I'm warning the two of you right now - if any questions are asked about the circumstances of Samuel's death, I will stop the line of questioning and remove Rob from the room. You may never again be allowed to question him if it comes to that." "It sounds like you're the one who's scared by our presence, not the other way around." "I am not *scared* of the FBI, Agent Mulder. I am simply trying to protect the rights of a boy who is too young to understand the laws of our country." "May we speak with him now?" "Yes I will get him. I will warn you one time and one time only if your questions get out of line. This interrogation will also be taped." "It's not an *interrogation.* It is an *interview.*" Mr. Young shot Mulder a disgusted glance as he left the room. "This is getting more and more interesting by the minute, huh Scully?" "There's way more going on here than anyone is letting us in on. There's no reason this kid should have a lawyer. It sounds like he's had one for a while too, doesn't it?" "Yeah. I don't think his parents went out and found him last night after we talked to them." The two agents stood as Mr. Young came back in with Rob Wilkins. To be continued in Part V... Forgiveness: Part V of VI Author: Amy McClure Disclaimer and Summary in Part I The boy was obviously nervous. He was scared enough talking to police officers and social workers, but these were FBI Agents. He never imagined he'd be questioned for the FBI by anything - especially not when he was only ten years old. Mulder knelt down slightly as he greeted the young boy. "Rob, my name is Fox Mulder. This is my partner, Dana Scully. I don't want you to be nervous - we just want to ask you some questions. We're here to help you. We want to figure out how to stop the beatings you've been put through. Okay?" "Okay." The boy's voice was quivering and barely audible. Larry Young led the scared boy over to a chair by the table. The two agents sat opposite Rob and his lawyer. "Rob, how long have these beatings been going on?" "Since the day after my papa died." "Papa? You mean your Grandfather?" "Yeah, that's what I call...used to call him." "Okay. Who is beating you?" "My Grandfather." "Rob, I don't want you to assume that we think you're lying when I ask this next question. I have to ask it, okay?" "I know what you're going to ask." "You do?" "Yeah. You're going to say that my Grandfather is dead. And since he's dead, he can't possibly be beating me. Then you're going to say that I'm lying. That I'm doing this to myself or I'm covering up for my parents, or..." The boy's voice was rising and getting more and more tense and defensive with every word. "Agent Mulder, this is your one and only warning. If you upset my client like this again..." Mulder shot the lawyer a look that said he'd shut up if he knew what was good for him. "Rob, I'm sorry if I'm upsetting you. I'm not saying that I don't believe you, but see, we're investigators. We have to investigate all possibilities and get all sides of the story before we can come to a conclusion that will help you. Do you understand that?" "Yeah I guess so." "I know you've had to answer questions like these over and over again, and I'm sure you're getting tired of it. I know I would be if I were you, but I promise I'll only ask you a few more questions. If I ask one you don't want to answer, just say so, and I'll move on to the next one, okay?" "Yeah." "Okay. Do you know what happened to your Grandfather?" "He died." "Do you know what that means Rob?" "It means that his body stopped working and his soul went to heaven." "So this Grandfather that died - whose body stopped working - this is the same Grandfather who has been hurting you?" "Yes." "Have either of your parents ever hit you?" "My dad has spanked me a few times, but that's all." "Do you have a good relationship with your parents?" "Yeah I guess so." "Do you ever fight with them?" "Sometimes they get mad at me - if I don't do my chores like I'm supposed to or if I don't go to bed on time. But they never hurt me for stuff like that." "Have they ever hurt you for stuff like that?" "No. A couple of spankings - no more than that." "Okay. Have you ever tried to hurt yourself?" "Huh?" "Have you ever slapped yourself in the face? Punched any part of your body? Slammed your head against a wall?" "No. Why would I want to?" "Just a question I have to ask. You've never done any of those things?" "No." "Did you love your Grandfather, Rob?" "Yes I did." "Do you miss him?" "Yes." "Do you think he loved you?" "Yeah I think so." "More than Samuel?" Mr. Young spoke up immediately. "Don't answer that question Rob. Agent Mulder, I warned you - absolutely no questions about Samuel." "I'm not asking about Samuel's...accident. I'm simply asking..." "I don't care what you're asking. Consider this interrogation over. I gave you a verbal warning earlier, and I said you only get one. Come on Rob. Let's go." The door slammed behind them as the lawyer ushered Rob out of the room. "Fucking lawyers." Mulder threw his pen down on the table in disgust. "So now what Mulder?" "God I don't know. Maybe we should watch the surveillance tape again." "Why? What would we be looking for?" "Maybe there's something on that tape that we overlooked yesterday." "Mulder..." Oh why bother arguing? He was going to go watch the tape again whether she went with him or not. She'd rather not leave him alone on a case that was affecting him as much as this one was. "Coming?" "Yes. Right behind you." Riverview Inn & Suites - 6:30 p.m. "Sorry Mulder." "I didn't really think we'd find anything on the tape anyway Scully. I just had to know for sure." "I understand." "You hungry?" "Yeah a little." "You want to grab something to eat?" "I really need a shower first, but afterwards, yeah. That sounds good." "Yeah I need to shower too. This humidity is killing me. Knock on my door when you're ready." "Okay. I'll see you in a bit." Hmmm...this was a little out of the ordinary too. Usually they did dinner separately - room service or Chinese take-out were her specialties. She was actually a little bit nervous as she began getting ready. This is the same man that she spent all day every day with and she was suddenly nervous to go get dinner with him? "Get a grip Dana." Maybe it was more the vulnerability he was feeling on this particular case that was making her feel this way. This poor kid's ordeal was taking him right back to his own terror as a child. He didn't want to be alone tonight. Alone with the memory. That must be it - he needed a distraction, and she was glad she could be there for him. To be continued in Part VI Forgiveness: Part VI of VI Author: Amy McClure Disclaimer and Summary in Part I Riverview Inn & Suites - 4:45 a.m. June 11, 1999 Mulder didn't even try to fall asleep that night. He had been sitting in the chair by his bed flipping aimlessly through the tv channels. He had finally given up about a half an hour earlier and ordered a movie-on-demand. He had looked through the categories quickly. Comedies? No. Dramas? Definitely not. Action/Adventure? Well maybe. Adult? Hello. There it was. "Ah, the joys of modern technology. Fifteen porno movies just waiting to be watched. And all paid for by my expense account. You forget how good you have it sometimes, Mulder." Christ, I'm talking to myself - out loud. I need sleep and I need it bad. He had lost himself in a scene - two girls arguing about who has the better body had just been challenged by some guy to take it all off and prove once and for all whose was better. Of course, one thing led to another and now there was an orgy in progress. "Yep. Happens to me all the time." The ring of the phone made him jump slightly. The clock told him it was 4:55 a.m. Who the hell is calling me at this time of the morning? "Mulder." "Agent Mulder, this is Captain Dobbs. I'm sorry to wake you, but I have some news I know you'll want to hear." "What is it? Is the boy okay?" "Actually no. We found his body at about 3:15." "Rob Wilkins is dead?!" "Yes I'm afraid he is." "How?" "That won't be answered for sure until the autopsy is performed tomorrow, but at this point it looks like he was beaten and then bled to death." "Where was he found?" "We had him at the Child and Family Services' safehouse - it's out on the east side of town. He was in a room that was locked from the outside. The room has two windows that were both locked from the inside. There are no signs of forced entry." "Was anyone in the room with him? Did anyone see anything?" "I'm afraid not. The doors on each room are locked by a specialized security system. In order to go in or out of a room, an employee has to swipe an identification card over a scanner. The system keeps detailed records of when someone entered or left the room and who that person was." "Did you check those records?" "Yes. They show that a nurse entered his room at 11:30 p.m. and exited at 11:40 p.m. That is the last record of anyone besides Rob being in that room before he was found." "Is there any way around that security system? A way someone could have slipped in without triggering it?" "No. We've been assured by the staff here that the system is impassable. Security guards are also posted here. One was posted outside of Rob's room all night - considering the circumstances surrounding his case, they felt it was necessary." "And the guard didn't hear anything?" "He says he heard some thrashing around in the room at 3:10. He immediately called for a nurse who opened the door at exactly 3:12 a.m. When they entered the room, they found him lying on his bed - he was hysterical. He was swinging his arms at something that wasn't there. The nurse and the security guard both saw..." "Saw what?" "They both claim that a cut began to appear across Rob's neck. There was no logical explanation for a cut appearing there. Rob's hands were both up away from his body and there was no one else in the room with him. It was as if...as if..." "As if the cut appeared from thin air?" "Yeah. Paramedics were called immediately, but they were unable to revive him. I'm very sorry Agent Mulder." "Yeah I am too. Thank you for letting me know so fast. I guess Agent Scully and I will be by in the morning." "What for?" "I'd like Scully to perform the autopsy if you don't mind." "Our offices notified your superior officer of the death already...uh...Skinner I believe?" "Yes. What did he say?" "From what I understand, the two of you are to be on the first plane back to DC in the morning. The case is closed Agent Mulder." "How can you say it's closed?! A ten-year old boy is dead from a wound that came out of nowhere!! You call that a solved case?!" Scully's phone had rang right about the same time Mulder's had. It was kind of a relief - she had been unable to sleep and was getting a little tired of listening to the moaning and screaming coming from the porno movie Mulder was obviously watching. Sometimes she thought it was kind of scary just how thin these hotel room walls were. You could hear *everything.* Skinner had been on the other end of the line. He said he'd just tried Mulder's room, but got a busy signal. Scully heard the same story from Skinner as Mulder was hearing from the Captain in the next room. Rob was dead. A ten year old abused boy was dead and no one knew just how. "I'll perform the autopsy in the morning." "You'll be on a plane tomorrow morning, Agent Scully." "Excuse me sir?" "The case is closed Scully. My assistant will be booking the two of you on the first flight out of Seattle in the morning. She'll call one of you to let you know when you need to be at the airport." "But sir..." "No Scully. The case is closed. You two have other cases to work on - this case is a dead end. Is that understood?" "Yes sir." She hung up the phone and opened the door to the adjoining room just a crack. Mulder was just hanging up the phone. "Mulder?" "Scully. I just got some bad news." "I know. Rob's dead." "How do you know that?" "Skinner just called me." "Jesus. Talk about faster than a speeding bullet..." "His assistant is booking the first flight out for us tomorrow." "Yeah I heard. This doesn't make sense Scully. A cut appears out of thin air on a boy's neck that causes him to bleed to death, and you and I are the only ones who seem to think there's still a case here." "I know Mulder." "Scully, I can't just walk away from this. I need to know why Rob died. I need to know why. I can't..." She put her hands on her partner's shoulders and looked into his eyes. "Mulder you have to. We all take our orders from a higher power. Rob's suffering is over. He's in a good place now. A place where he won't ever be hurt again. This will stay an X-File, Mulder. Maybe someday we'll have something that warrants re-opening it." "Yeah maybe. I guess I just felt like I owed it to Rob to solve this. Make his problems and his pain go away." Scully stood up on her tiptoes and pulled Mulder's head down towards her. She kissed his forehead gently. "I know Mulder. I really am sorry." Fox Mulder's Apartment - 7:00 p.m. June 12, 1999 Mulder pushed the power button on his computer and brought up his case file for Rob Wilkins. There were some notes he felt needed making before filing this in the yet-to-be-explained file: Case # X55912 Rob Wilkins The death of Rob Wilkins remains unexplained. But even if we had discovered the killer, would it actually be explained? How can you explain beating and terrorizing a ten-year old boy? A defenseless boy who is just starting his life. Had Rob not died when he did, what kind of a life would he have ultimately had? If the spirit of his Grandfather was the one responsible - all evidence gathered in this case points to that - the terror never would have ended, would it? The Grandfather felt that Rob was responsible for his twin brother Samuel's death. The Grandfather liked Samuel better - at least in Rob's eyes - and Rob couldn't live with that. Rob wanted to be number one for once. He was tired of living in the shadows of his brother. Were those shadows really there covering him, or was it completely in Rob's head? Feelings of inadequacy. Feeling that he's not as good as his twin. Feeling that his twin needed to be destroyed in order to gain some attention for himself? We'll never know if Rob pushed his brother off that roof or not. We'll never know if it was in fact Rob's Grandfather who was inflicting the abuse on this child. If it was him, was there a reason? Retribution for killing his twin brother? I could ask questions about this case forever, and I wouldn't get any further understanding of the events than I have now. There is one thing I have come to understand during the course of this case. It does not pertain specifically to this case or the characters involved. It has to do with an agent working on this case facing up to his past. My father abused me when I was a child. I suffered mental and physical abuse because he was forced to make a choice. Was he inflicting pain on me as retribution for Samantha? Yes I believe he was. It was the price I had to pay for being the one who was allowed to stay with the family. My sister's disappearance has profoundly affected every aspect of my life. My mother lost part of her soul when she lost Samantha - a part that she will never regain. My father lost respect for himself - felt he didn't deserve to be happy because of the decision he'd made. And me? I lost my little sister - I missed out on her growing up. I missed being able to help her and protect her as I had planned on doing so early in life. I'm missing a piece of myself, but I have faith that piece will be put back someday. The most important thing I've come to terms with on this case is forgiveness for my father. He didn't want to hurt me. He didn't enjoy hurting me. He hurt me because he felt it was what he had to do, and that is something I now realize I can forgive him for. XXX Feedback always welcome: mulder89@hotmail.com