From: Bryndela@aol.com Date: Thu, 2 Dec 1999 21:25:52 EST Subject: The Fork in the Road Source: xff Title: The Fork in the Road Author: Michelle Ferguson E-mail: Bryndela@AOL.com Archive: I'd be honored, just tell me it's going. Spoiler Warning: Millennium Rating: PG. Content Warning: This is not for weak-stomached Noromos. You have been warned. Classification: MSR, S--though some could call it a V. Summary: Post-episode fic for Millennium. Just thought I'd jump on the bandwagon here. Disclaimer: Mulder and Scully belong to CC, 1013, and Fox. I mean them no disrespect by using them to satisfy my 'shipper needs. "Happy New Year, Scully," Mulder says calmly. I am speechless. Less than a minute ago we were kissing. Kissing. Mulder and I. The implications alone are enough to knock the world off its axis for me, and dammit, Mulder is back to his usual self in no time. Well, maybe not his old self exactly. There is a gleam in his eyes I have never seen before. It isn't easily programmed, referenced, or categorized, but the traces of desire are unmistakable. I feel a blush creeping up my body. "Happy New Year, Mulder," I manage to choke out, in a voice worthy of a lovestruck teenage girl. My whole body is tingling. I can still feel his lips brushing mine. I want nothing more than to pull his head down and show him exactly what that earthshattering, albeit chaste, kiss has done to me. Where's my cold realism when I need it? Mulder's eyes search mine, a grin illuminating his face. Wordlessly he drapes his good arm around my shoulders and I lean into him. This is...comfortable. Strange, considering that we have never been in this position before. We walk out to my car in silence. I keep waiting for the inevitable. An explosion, a tragedy, anything to destroy the magic of this moment. A crisis doesn't erupt, and I don't quite know what to feel. Relief? Panic? Mulder eyes never leave me as I unlock both our doors and get in the car. I put the key in the ignition and make no move to turn it on. After what seems like an eternity of an awkward silence, I finally force myself to look at my partner. "Mulder?" "Scully--are you okay? I mean...with this?" I don't know how to answer. If I say no, it's over for good. I don't think we'll ever have another chance. If I say yes...if I say yes things change forever. We can never go back. There is so much riding on this. This is one hell of a fork in the road. "Scully?" I realize that I've waited to long to give him an answer. Mulder is in what I've come to know as full panic mode, even though his face is deceptively neutral. I can since the fear in his voice. He is getting ready to begin the painstakingly short process of berating himself into oblivion. I don't want to break Mulder's heart. I want him to know that he is loved. I want him to never doubt himself again. I want him to be happy. I want...him. The realization hits me like a ton of bricks. I admitted to myself that I love Mulder some time ago. I've admitted that I can never leave him or lose him. I've even admitted to needing him. But never this. Wanting is selfish. I've reached out for Mulder in necessity, but never just because he's there. Tonight there is no emergency, there is no threat. There is only us, the night, and the millions of celebrations around us. There is no turning back. "I'm fine Mulder," I answer finally, but my voice is unsteady, it falters. He doesn't look convinced. In fact, he lowers his head. He doesn't let me see his heart breaking. There's no need to do that because I can hear it. I can't control my words any longer. "Mulder believe me. I am okay with this. I think I am--no I know I am. It's not as if this was a simple attraction that magically festered into something deeper overnight. If it were, this would certainly be easier," I laugh awkwardly, and my hole cannot possibly get any deeper. "Mulder, this is nothing simple. I've been in love with you for quite sometime." His eyes bug out of his head in a cartoonish way. And that's when I become acutely aware of the the caliber of what I've just said. I haven't slept or ate in over forty-eight hours. I can only pray I'm delirious with exhaustion, because somewhere in my incoherent babbling, I've confessed the biggest secret, not to mention weakness, of my life. I don't babble. I spew out scientific data like a second language but, I, Dana Katherine Scully, do not babble. It must be exhaustion--that's the only feasible explanation. Surely Mulder will understand. Mulder is taking deep breaths. I can tell he's dreading his next question, but must ask anyway. "Uh, Scully are you alright? Because if you're not quite yourself right now, um...we can forget this whole night ever happened." He's giving me a way out. He always has and usually I take it and run, without so much as a thank-you. No more. I swallow hard and grasp his hand in mine. I'm vaguely aware that his palms are sweating. "Muder, do you want to forget?" A small nervous smile plays at the corner of his mouth. "No fair. I asked you first." I don't hesitate. "No. I don't want to forget. Not now, or ever, for that matter." As if I could. I swear I can hear all the oxygen leave his lungs in one breath. "Thank God," he mumbles, his face bathed in relief. And then, out of the blue, "I bet you I've been in love with you longer than you have with me." Now it's my turn to be shocked, but that is quickly replaced by acceptance. It's so easy, this exchange between us. Frankly I don't know why we waited this long. Fear? Self-dout? They are strong demons to overcome, but pale in the face of this newfound happiness. "Try me," I challenge. I am answered with a kiss. And the promise of many more to come. I think I'll rather enjoy the new Millennium. The end.