*************************************************************************** This author's e-mail address has changed to: myriss1013@yahoo.com *************************************************************************** From: "M. L." Date: Sat, 01 Dec 2001 07:21:10 -0600 Subject: Foxy and the Doxy by Myriss (1 of 1) Source: direct TITLE: Foxy and the Doxy AUTHOR: Myriss EMAIL ADDRESS: My email has changed. It's now myriss@mail.com DISTRIBUTION: Ephemeral: Ok. I will forward to Gossamer myself. This fic and others by me can be found at: http://www.envy.nu/myriss/index.html RATINGS WARNING: PG-13 CLASSIFICATION: PWP, Fluff...etc...*Smutless!* KEYWORDS: MSR SPOILERS: Nothing really. SUMMARY: A woman from Mulder's past emerged. THE DISCLAIMER: Any character you recognized from the t.v. series belongs to 1013 and Fox, except for Mulder and Scully who belongs to each other. I am just borrowing them. *AUTHOR NOTES - Notes at the end. Foxy and the Doxy by Myriss They were hurrying across the parking lot to the car rental place when a voice squealed out, "Foxy!" Fox Mulder froze. Scully froze. "Foxy!" A woman dressed in pink spandex with a Texas hairdo came running up to them. "Foxy Mulder?" Mulder refused to look at Scully. He didn't have to. He could see her mouthed "Foxy?" quite clearly in his mind. "Foxy Mulder?" the woman squealed. "It's me! Barbie Lee Pressley. Remember me?" Mulder groaned. Oh, God. He remembered. How can he forget? Barbie Lee Presley--the bane of his high school existence. She had followed him around...everywhere he went...two steps behind...was squealing Barbie Lee Pressley in her too tight bell bottom blue jeans and her Farrah Fawcett hairdo. She was one of the reasons that he chose to go to Oxford. Oh god, he thought. I am in hell. "Yes, I remember you," he croaked. "Barbie Pressley. " She glared at Scully. "And who's this, Foxy?" "Uhh--" he stuttered. Scully smiled. "Dana Scully," she said, holding out a hand. Barbie looked at her hand as if it was an undersized fish dredged up from the bottom of an sludge pond. She shook Scully's hand gingerly and said, "It's Barbie Lee Pressley, like in Elvis the King, except with two s's." Scully was smiling. Mulder wasn't sure that he liked that smile. No sir. He was pretty sure he didn't like it at all. "So are you an old friend of Foxy?" Scully asked sweetly. "Oh yes." Barbie fluttered her lashes up at Mulder. Mulder suddenly looked at his watch. "Look at the time! Look, Barbie Lee, it's been nice seeing you but we have to go--you know--the time." "Oh, Mulder," Scully said, smiling angelically. "We have plenty time. Why don't we go and have a cup of coffee? I am sure that you and--Barbie--has a lot to catch up on." Barbie squealed. Mulder moaned. Scully grinned evilly. ***** Breast. There were two. Breasts. With a 's' He will not stare at the Breasts. No. Nope. Nada. He tried to ignore them. He tried and tried; but pink spandex was not his friend. They were like Mt. Rushmore. They were there. And they jiggled like jello. And they held the same morbid fascination. Mulder stared as they jiggled while Barbie Lee giggled. Snapping out of his hypnotic daze, he mentally pounded his head against the table. *Thump* *Thump* * Thump* Thirty minutes with Barbie Lee Pressley would send him where no alien, mutant fluke worm, or UFO had taken him--to the funny farm... Barbie Lee Pressley was telling Scully, "...he was swinging Janice Lesley around and was going into the 'Dance Fever' pose--" Barbie Lee raised her arms to show Scully the pose, "but one of his pant legs--" Mulder winced. He still mourned for the lost of his favorite white Disco polyester suit.... "... got caught under one of Trixie Bender's high heels...He fell over and Janice Lesley fell on top of him and he broke his arm..." Did he just heard Scully cackle? No, no, no. He had not just heard her cackle. Not his Scully. No, some alien clone--some shiftshaping alien--some.... Yep. Cackle. "Witch," he muttered darkly to himself. "What did you say, Mulder?" she asked him. "I have an--uh--itch." He scratched an imaginary itch on his shoulder. He had thought about scratching his balls to get back at Scully but he was afraid what Barbie Lee would do; and Scully would killed him. "An itch--" he repeated helpfully as his voice trailed off at Scully's amused brow arch. Mulder made a face. Scully grinned. Obviously, someone was having a good time. •••••• Scully was humming happily under her breath as they walked into their hotel. Mulder thumped heavily after her. "You know, Mulder, Barbie is not too bad," she said cheerfully. "Right," he muttered. "I mean, she's pretty funny." "As funny as poison ivy." He didn't want to admit how frightening it was to see Scully swapping email addresses with Barbie Lee Pressley. "I wouldn't have ever found out you almost burn down the chemistry lab in high school," she went on. Mulder scowled. "Hey, that wasn't my fault," he protested indignantly. "It was hers. She's the one who snuck up behind me. I wouldn't have knocked down the bunson burner otherwise." "Uhm...Maybe that's when you decided to give up on science," she said airily. His scowl deepened. "No one likes a science geek, Scully." She smiled. He pouted and put his hands on his hips. "I know what this is about," he said. "What this is about?" she asked innocently. "You're just getting back at me for Jerry Whetmore," he accused. Her eyes widen. "Jerry Whetmore? What does he have to do with this--?" Mulder stuck out his lower lip and beetled his brow. She sighed and patted him on the chest. "Oh, all right," she admitted. "Maybe a little bit at first-" she admitted. "but--" She trailed off, her voice sounding so wistful that Mulder grew concern. He stopped her with a hand on the arm. "But what, Scully?" he asked. She looked down to the floor and sighed again. "I guess...I did it because I wanted to hear--" she broke off. "Go on," he encouraged her. "It just--it just that I know you as Mulder. I wanted to know you as Fox--" and to his and her utter surprise, she burst into tears. "Scully!" He was horrified that she would even feel that way. He reached out and pulled her into his arms. "Don't you ever think you don't know me!" He pressed his lips against her hair and whispered into her ear. "Don't you see..Fox is--Fox was..."He searched for the words to say what he meant. Finally he said simply, "Fox is a Mulder without his Scully." "Oh Mulder!" she whispered, her eyes shiny with tears. He cupped her face in his hands and said, punctuating his words with kisses to her face, "You make me complete. You are the best of me...Dana Katherine Scully-Mulder...Don't you ever forget that!" He kissed her lovingly one last time, before rearing back and leering suggestively at her, "C'mon, Mrs. Mulder, let me show you some of my famous dance moves." Scully hiccuped and quipped, "As long as you don't wear those white polyester pants..." "Hey," he said, unlocking the door of their hotel room. "I have you to know that I loved that suit...I looked real good in it..." "Yeah, right, Mulder," she said as they stepped through the hotel door. "It's true, Scully," he protested as the door closed behind them. "They didn't call me 'Fox Travolta' for nothing..." The End Author's Note*-- Yeah, yeah...no plot...no continuity...I don't need no stinky continuity. Several people had suggested that I write a story about a female Jerry Whetmore and I tried...I really tried...but well, for Scully to knowingly make fun of Barbie Lee would seem kind of mean-spirited...and Barbara Lee Pressley...She just wouldn't cooperate... Sooooo, I hope it was somewhat funny...If not, please don't flame me! As always, constructive feedback are welcome. Myriss myriss@mail.com The X-Cafe http://www.envy.nu/myriss/index.html