From: raenright@aol.com (RaEnright) Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: Fridges--SHORT short Date: 12 Aug 1995 14:13:08 -0400 So I'm sitting here, drinking my 100% Apple Juice From Concentrate No Sweeteners Or Preservatives Added and I think up a story. This is the result of standing in front of a refridgerator for too long. I'm not a beer connesseur, have never had beer, but I know that during the X-Files the Fox afiliate(Around here) is frequently the 'Coors Light' channel(Cause coffee's nasty after volleyball!). I picked some of the many brands that my impressionable mind sees on TV and used them. All characters copyright 1995 CC, FBS, and 1013, the beers belong to their respective companies and the story belongs to me. If you can find any way to make money off of it you have a criminal mind and should be congratulated. Please send half to me. I was *s'posed* to post Ecstatic today instead of this, but after I sent it to Sam and he wrote me back(Sam...he keep-a me humble!) I realized it needs rewriting like NOW, so I'm posting this instead. A Tale Of Two Fridges (That's the sound of the fridge openeing) "Jeez, Scully." "What?" "No soda...no ice tea...no nothing. How can one person cram so much...*health food*...into one refridgerator?" "I think there's a beer or two in the back from the last time Melissa came over." "Yeah, here they are." (Fridge closing) "Ugh...Molson. Well, It's better than nothing. Here." "Thanks." "Cheers." "So remind me again why we're here?" "Because I didn't want to listen to you whine about the heat for the rest of the day and your air conditioning is broken." "Riiiight. But at least I have *real* food at my place." A few minute's silence while our heros refresh themselves. "Mulder? The case?" "Mmhm?""The case. The file is identical, two victims, both displayed according to ritual...Scully, what are you doing?" "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm getting another beer." "Sure you can handle it?" "And just what are you implying?" "Nothing, nothing. You're just much shorter than me and have a much smaller body mass. Your bloodstream naturally wouldn't be able to absorb as much alcohol as mine would." "Care to make that a bet?" "Feeling a little competitve, Dana? The case, agent Scully, the case." "Maybe some other time." "Yeah right." "What?" "Nothing..." _____________________________ The next day... "Told you you shouldn't have had that third beer." "It's just a mild headache. It's probably from having to deal with you all evening." "And nothing to do with tha fact that when I left you were giggling hysterically at nothing in particular." "Get to work, Mulder." "Yes, ma'am." Two hours pass. "Hey Scully, I got my air conditioning fixed this morning." "So?" "What say we blow out of here and finish at my place?" "That cave?" "It's not a cave! I *like* my apartment dark. I'll even let you feed my fish." "Such an honor, o great one." "Well, if you'd rather work by yourself..." "Give me a few minutes to finish up, okay?" ______________________________ "Welcome to my hummble home." "Humble is right--" "Hey, I clean." "Annually." "I clean my apartment once a month whether it needs it or not." "It needs it, Mulder, trust me on this." "You want a cold drink? I have Coke, Lipton, Coors...oh, forget I said that. You have to drive home." "I'll take a tea." "Good choice.""So what are we doing?" "Paperwork, mostly. Did you know the accounts department wanted to investigate us based on the premise that we rent two motel rooms?" "Umm...run that by me again?" "You haven't heard most of the office rumors, have you." "Oh." "And accounts is...going on a hunch?" "That's a pretty extreme hunch." "Haven't we had this conversation before?" "I think so. I'm hungry." "Help yourself. Sunflower seeds are in the left hand drawer. Other than that it's pretty much anything goes." "Mulder, for a man with an IQ higher than his monthly car payment, you'd think you'd be a little more organized." "Genius is messy." "You must be the next Einstein--phew! What is that smell?" "You opened my fridge, didn't you?" "Ugh, Mulder, this is gross." "You opened it, not me." "What *is* that?" "Anything green is most likely pizza--anything in cartons is chinese food--anything else is anybody's guess. I think there's a casserole your mom cooked for me after I got back from Alaska still in there--might be fairly fresh." "Potato chips? You have potato chips in you fridge." "Must have put them in there when I wasn't looking." "I'm not hungry anymore." "You sure?" "Remind me never to trade lunches with you, Mulder." "Your loss." ___________________ End Augh...couldn't figure out how to end it. That's my Monty, making me write stories without endings all the time. Damn thee, Monty, grey devil, thou shalt send me complete stories or none at all!!!!! Anyone seen this Reticulan? Answers to 'Monty', has a real attitude problem? /\ {_\ _ : | { / \/ Anyway, anyone wanna see a sequel? I'd just love to see them trying to out-drink each other...god only knows who would win. Oh well. It would be fun.