From: Isahunter@aol.com
Date: Sun, 20 Dec 1998 12:46:56 EST
Subject: Fwd: Funky Mushrooms(1/1)by Mr Alien

Title:  Funky Mushrooms (1/1)

Author:  Mr Alien

Rating:  G, maybe PG

Category:  V, H,

Disclaimer:  Mulder and Scully are not mine: they belong to CC 
10:13 and Fox.  Please do not sue me: I have no money.

Archive:  Gossamer yes, all others please ask.

Spoilers: Very minor Anasazi: go on, see if you can find it!

Notes:  I don't do this normally: I am proving a point!

Feedback:  Yeah, why not.  I'm not writing any more, though!  Just 
hit reply, or write to  aliens@cwcom.net


Funky Mushrooms (1/1)

Mulder was in the middle of a large field eating a boiled egg when 
she found him. 

He had no idea how he got there. All he remembered was leaving 
his apartment in the hope of finding a nice restaraunt to eat at. 
Somthing like a McDonalds. After all he was depressed as the X 
Files had been closed down. The next thing he knew he was at the 
side of a country road wearing nothing but his underpants and a 
large Mexican hat and with nothing near him but a camping stove 
and half a dozen eggs. 

After wandering around for a while he decided that to avoid almost 
being flattened by a mad farmer on a tractor and being charged by 
a bull he would sit in the middle of a large field where nothing could 
possibly go wrong. 

It was shortly after this he got hungry and burned off his eyebrows 
in the minor gas explosion that followed his trying to light the stove. 

It was lucky that he found that stream so he could fill the hat with 
water and use it as a pan. It hadn't been set on fire by the gas 
explosion earlier so he assumed it was safe to do so.

So after the hat had burned away he sat down and ate the soft 
boiled egg, which he ate without a spoon, and started wondering if 
they had started putting LSD in his water supply again.

It was at this point that Scully found him. She had ended up in a 
similar situation a short distance away. However she, as well as 
her undewear had Mulder's overcoat and she didn't have the 
advantage of a Mexican hat or some eggs.

However Scully had been able to piece together some of the details 
of the previous night, so she started to fill him in.

"Do you remember about what happened last night?"

"No. The last thing I remember was leaving my appartment."

"From what I remember we met at McDonalds and you invited me 
for a drink. Unfortunatly I agreed. After a couple of drinks you were 
getting a little drunk and I decided that tipsy Mulder was not a 
Mulder I wanted to know so I tried to leave but you insisted on 
walking me home."

"I think somethings coming back. Did we call a cab?"

"Sort of..."

"How do you mean."

"Will you let me finish." She was looking angry so he shut up.

"So we called a cab. Thats when things start getting hazy. I 
remember he lit a ciggarette."

"Yeah. I remember that. The car filled with smoke and then for 
some reason I decided I wanted to go to the country." He paused 
for a second "Why didn't you stop me?"

"Because that smoke made me think I was a girrafe."

"Oh."

She then explained how the driver offered them some food which 
she recalled was like mushrooms and extremely funky. "Then we 
thought maybe we should get out because my neck was too long 
and the driver was mumbling that the trees were moving."

"Where did the hat come from?"

"What hat?"She was looking at Mulder like he had rabies.

"Never mind. What happened next?" Then he remembered that just 
that previous evening she had claimed to be a girrafe so he added 
"And don't look at me like that girrafe woman."

He immediatly knew it had been a big mistake. She wouldn't talk to 
him for weeks. Quickly he appologised which seemed to please 
her enough to carry on.

"So then we were suddenly in the Amazon which I presume was 
that forest over there. And we started feeling very hot." She looked 
at his expresion and immediately corrected herself "I mean we had 
to take our clothes off." She then decided to cut her losses looked 
at his underpants and said "Lucky you didn't get any hotter really. 
Then you got scared by a walrus and ran off. That's just about all I 
remember."

After Mulder had eaten they went back to the road and managed to 
get a lift back with a farmer who seemed to like Scully a lot. 

It was a week later and Skinner was still not happy with the 
explanation of how Mulder and Scully arrived at the Bureaux on the 
back of a tractor with Mulder in his underwear and Scully 
apparantly flashing at the President. She assured him that it had 
been an accident.

He didn't know what to do. In the end he decided to do the one 
thing he always did when they broke the law and went against FBI 
regulations and re-open the X Files.

End

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