From eponine119@att.net Sat Aug 31 01:47:51 1996

Disclaimer: Chris Carter, 1013, Fox.  Not me.

Genre: humor.

Comments: Please!  Send to me at eponine119@att.net

Intro: This is a strange little story resulting from a discussion me n' 

Mystic were having about Mr. X, and the picture of him from last 

October's Cinefantastique magazine featuring the X Files.  I hope you 

like it.

___________________

Genie

by eponine119

eponine119@att.net

August 13, 1996

____________________



Mulder and Scully were watching 'Aladdin'.  Well, actually, Scully's 

nephews were watching Aladdin while Mulder and Scully enjoyed the peace 

and quiet.  "Cute, aren't they?" Scully whispered to Mulder of 

Christopher and Michael, who only moments before she had wanted to murder.



	

Mulder looked at her a little surprised, but let it pass without comment. 

 He looked back at the screen.  "Doesn't the Genie remind you of someone?

" he asked.

	

"Robin Williams," said Scully.

	

Mulder looked at her again, thinking that she had no imagination.  "He 

reminds me of our mysterious contact, Mr. X," Mulder said.

	

Scully laughed, but looked at the TV screen again.  Then she smiled at 

Mulder.  "Not as much as Skinner reminds me of Mr. Clean," she said, 

grinning.

	

"Mr. Clean, Mr. Clean," sang Mulder in an approximation of the commercial 

jingle.

	

Scully elbowed him.  "He does!"

	

Mulder nodded, biting his lips to hold back the laughter.  It was no use. 

 Moments later, the two of them collapsed on the couch laughing 

hysterically.

	

Christopher and Michael Scully exchanged a look that said, "Grown ups are 

weird" and returned to watching the movie.



~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Night



Mulder walked around his apartment, pacing, trying to make himself tired, 

and paused at the window a moment to look out into the dark night.  When 

he turned from the window, he jumped, startled by the sudden presence of 

another person in the apartment with him.

	

It was Mr. X.  He wore a dark blue windbreaker with sleeves that puffed 

out around his arms, and he had a gold hoop earring in one ear. Standing 

with his arms crossed over his chest, looking at Mulder, he looked a 

great deal like a genie.  It was all Mulder could do to keep from 

laughing.  "What're you doing here?" he asked.

	

"I am here, Mr. Mulder," intoned Mr. X, "To grant you three wishes."

	

Mulder did laugh.  "Who put you up to this?" he asked trying to retain 

his good humor about this.  Then he realized there was no one who could 

put Mr. X up to something like this, and he became very serious.  "What's 

going on?"

	

"I am a genie, Mr. Mulder," said X.  "You have proven yourself to be 

worthy of my attentions, and I am now offering to grant you three wishes.

"

	

Mulder could only stare at X and wonder if maybe, just maybe, Skinner was 

really Mr. Clean, too.  The two men's eyes were locked for a long moment, 

and then Mulder looked away.  "Man, I wish Scully were with me!" he cried.



	

"As you wish," said Mr. X, and he threw his head back as though he were 

about to grant Mulder's wish with an 'I Dream of Jeannie' style head nod.



	

"Wait!" cried Mulder, "I can do that myself!"  Mr. X raised an eyebrow as 

Mulder dialed his cell phone.  "Scully, you've got to get over here.  

Now!  Just get here, Scully!"

	

"Now what?" X asked as Mulder hung up.

	

Mulder shrugged.  "We wait for Scully," he said, plopping down on the 

couch and picking up the remote.  "Wanna watch the game?"  After a moment,

 X joined Mulder.



~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

A little later that evening.



"You're a what?"  screamed Scully skeptically at X.

	

"I am a genie, Ms. Scully," said X.  Mulder's partner continued to eye 

the man doubtfully.  "Think about it, how I always turn up at just the 

right moment with *exactly* the piece of information that you need to 

solve the case.  How could I do that were I not a genie?"

	

Scully pursed her lips and looked at Mulder.  "He's got us there, Scully,

" Mulder admitted, "You have to agree it's uncanny."

	

"Coincidence," she scoffed.  "Luck!"

	

"There is no luck," X informed them.  "My infinite wisdom and knowledge; 

my many amazing acts of saving Mulder's life time and time again when 

death seemed certain...this will not be enough to convince you?"

	

"Well, no," said Scully.

	

"All right," X said, looking a little miffed.  "We'll have to do this the 

hard way."  With a flourish, he flung open Mulder's window, the one that 

usually had masking tape applied to it.  Then he turned and swept the rug 

up from the floor in a cloud of dust.

	

"What's he doing?" demanded Scully.

	

Mulder had no words; he could only watch as X tossed his good rag rug out 

of the window.  a moment later, the trio saw the rug hover into view of 

the window.  Mulder turned to Scully.

	

"Don't say it," she warned him, "I do not want to hear about how UFOs are 

really flying carpets and all aliens really want to do is grant us three 

wishes."

	

"Ladies first," said Mr. X graciously, a moment before he tossed Scully 

through the window.  She landed on the hovering carpet with a scream.  

Mulder jumped through with glee, and X took the helm at the head of the 

rug.

	

"Bit crowded, isn't it?" complained Scully.

	

"Hey, it's a small apartment," Mulder protested in his rug's defense.  

Then he looked out into the night around them.  "This is kind of neat," 

he said, breathless.

	

Scully followed Mulder's lead and looked.  A moment later, she clutched 

him, her terror evident.  "I don't like this!" she said in a voice that 

tried to be strong.

	

"Afraid of heights?" Mulder asked her, sort of amazed to see his partner 

this way.  She seemed so...vulnerable.  And she looked so pretty in the 

moonlight as they whizzed around the top of the Washington Monument.  

Mulder noticed some tourists pointing up at them and waved.

	

How could he have known the tourist's picture would take the cover of the 

Midnight Examiner?

	

"Scully...Dana, you'll be all right," Mulder murmured, stroking his 

partner's hair.

	

X turned around and winked at him, a big obvious wink.  Mulder looked 

confused.  Then he remembered having made the wish that Scully was with 

him.  Could X have thought...could this be his wish...did Scully..?  He 

looked down at her, huddled in his arms.  Still, this was kind of nice.

	

X, who could read thoughts [of course], was amazed by Mulder's musings.  

Scully's actions weren't to satisfy his wish, it was to satisfy the 

wishes of a large group of largely unimpressed people who called 

themselves 'Relationshippers'.

	

"Believe me now?" X asked, once they returned to Mulder's apartment.  

	

"Well..." said Mulder, and looked at Scully, who was still clinging to 

him even though they were on the solid floor of his apartment.  "OK," he 

said, "This works for me."

	

"What are your wishes?" he asked them.

	

"I get some too?" asked Scully hopefully.

	

"No," said X, whose eyes widened when Scully looked pissed.  It was 

possible to harm a genie, after all, and X knew that Scully was just the 

woman to try.  "You can split them," he offered hastily.  "One each."  He 

smirked to himself at his cleverness because Mulder didn't realize he'd 

lost a wish in the deal.

	

Mulder nodded, and after a moment, so did Scully.  "You want to...?" 

asked Mulder, who found it increasingly difficult to stop touching his 

lovely partner.

	

"I'll wait," Scully said, "You go."

	

"I think -"  Mulder broke off to contemplate his choices.  "There's only 

one thing to wish that will improve our lives.  I think you know what 

that is," he said.

	

Scully met his eyes and nodded silently.

	

Mulder held her eyes a moment and then turned to X.  "I wish that the 

Cigarette Smoking Man would get what he deserves."

	

"It is done," said X, and for good measure threw in a theatrical head-

jerk.

	

"How do we know?" asked Scully.

	

"What?" asked X, shocked.

	

"How do we know?  what did you do to him?"

	

"I - I - I -" stammered X.

	

"I want to see how he's suffering," insisted Scully.

	

"That will require a personal consultation.  I'll do it later," X assured 

her.

	

"Now," she insisted.

	

"Don't you want to take your remaining wish?" he asked.

	

"Not until I see what happens."

	

"Ok, Ok," X agreed, "Back in a flash." He promised and disappeared.

	

Mulder and Scully looked at each other, and then at the spot where X had 

so recently stood.  Then they lay down together on the couch to kill some 

time until he returned.



~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Half a Flash later



"I get what?" asked the Cigarette Smoking Man, choking on his cigarette 

smoke.

	

"Three wishes," X said, looking sort of embarrassed.

	

"Did Mulder put you up to his?" he demanded.

	

"Well..." said X.

	

"I don't want them.  Take them back," the Cigarette Smoking Man dismissed 

him with a wave of the hand.

	

"I'm afraid it's not like a sweater at Christmastime, sir.  It's non-

returnable."

	

"Well then I wish for more wishes."

	

"That invalidates the contract," X informed him.

	

"That's what I figured," the Cigarette Smoking Man said, "You may go."  X 

started for the door.  "And this doesn't change anything, you know," the 

Smoking Man added.  "I still expect you to report to work at eight sharp.

"

	

"Yes, sir," said X before he slunk out the door.



~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Three Quarters of a Flash later



Walter Skinner was alone in the apartment for the evening.  Sharon, his 

wife, was visiting her mother.  She'd informed him quite clearly that he 

was a slob and that she was not going to return until the apartment was 

spic and span.

	

Or should she have said Clean? Skinner thought with a smirk, polishing 

his glasses and setting them back on his nose as he opened the door to 

the grimy kitchen.  He loved it when the kitchen was filthy.  It was the 

best thing in the world to have a dirty and disgusting kitchen and clean 

it until the floors sparkled white.

	

Of course, it was a little different for him than it was for your average 

consumer.  A cross of his arms, a look, the wiggle of his nose and 

>POOF!< the floor was clean.

	

Skinner grinned to himself as he pulled the door closed behind him, the 

memory of the glittering sparkles still in his mind.  "Mr. Clean, Mr. 

Clean," he sang softly to himself.



~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

In A Flash



"That was it?" Scully asked, a little disappointed, sitting up on 

Mulder's couch and trying to pull her blouse closed around her discreetly.



	

"Didn't give you much time, I'm sorry," said X snickering evilly.  That 

Relationshipper wish had certainly worked.  "He wished for more wishes.  

That invalidated the wish agreement, paragraph 39 section H, and so he 

received zero wishes.  And he will spend his days regretting that act, 

becoming more and more miserable."

	

"Apt," agreed Scully.

	

"That brings us to your wish, Dana," Mulder said, softly brushing her 

hair back from her cheek.

	

Yee-ha, thought X, he was really racking up the Relationshipper points.

	

"Wait," said Scully, thinking.

	

Uh oh, thought X, thinking is bad.  He had a feeling he was in trouble 

now.

	

"What do you get out of all this wish granting?  What's in it for you?" 

asked Scully.

	

"Well.." X hedged.

	

"Spill it," Mulder said threateningly.

	

"I get your first born child," he admitted.

	

"To do what with?" demanded Scully.

	

"My parents!  Samantha!  It *was* supposed to be me!" Mulder cried.

	

"Yes, Fox," said X.  "I collect these children and induct them into the 

Genie corps.  Genies can't reproduce, you see, so we must acquire new 

genies in a different manner."

	

"I thought genies didn't die," said Scully.

	

"You'd be surprised what goes on out there today, Ms. Scully," X admitted.



	

"So is there an out clause?  Where we would get to keep our first born 

child?" asked Scully.

	

"You could just not have a child," suggested X, thinking of the 

antithesis of the Relationshippers, the AntiRelationshippers.  They, too, 

had some wishes coming.

	

Scully shook her head.  "I want an out clause," she insisted.

	

"Is that your wish?"

	

"No, that's fair play," she said.

	

"OK, you can have your kid back if you guess my name," said X, "Got it?"  

Scully nodded.  "Your wish?" he asked.

	

A long, long moment of anticipation and waiting passed before she wet her 

lips and spoke.  "I think it would be for the best if...I wish that when 

we awaken tomorrow, none of us have any memory of this night," she said.

	

"It is so," said X, tossed his head, and started to leave.

	

"Hey, wait, aren't you going to grant my wish?" called Scully, getting up 

from the couch, ready to go after him.

	

"I did, Ms. Scully.  But don't you want to finish the night before you 

forget it?  Have something to regret before that regret is removed?" X 

suggested wisely.

	

"Listen to him, Scully!" cried Mulder, pulling her back down on the couch 

next to him.  Scully was too busy to speak, but she agreed.

	

X smirked to himself out in the hall on the other side of the closed, 

locked door.  That took care of it, he thought, satisfied with himself.

	

At least for now.



The End.



Strange, wasn't it?  Please take a moment and drop me a note saying you 

read it and what you thought of it.  It can make such a difference.



eponine119 

eponine119@att.net