From: Adu2 Date: 5 Aug 1998 09:26:11 GMT Subject: NEW: "Gifts of Belief" 1/1 "Gifts of Belief" by Allegra 8/4/98 Category: V, S Spoilers: Brief mention of Movie events. Archive: This can be archived anywhere as long as my name sticks to it. If it's a "personal" web archive... drop me an email so I know. Keywords: M/S UST Disclaimer: The don't belong to me... don't sue! Summary: Agents go back to work after some life changing events (Movie) Comments to Adu2@aol.com. Thanks to J and L for reading this for me. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ It felt odd to her to not take the elevator down to the basement as she had for the last five years. Scully stood before the door to the new office, her one parcel under her arm. It was on the fourth floor and the door had both their names on the nameplate. She paused there for more than a moment before she dared slip the key in the lock. Walking through changed everything, she knew. Her conversation with Mulder from a few weeks ago played through her head. She had been struck by his disillusionment as he urged her to leave him. "I can't. I won't." She'd responded. "If I quit now, they win." He had looked at her not fully believing but wanting to. The steel in her voice at that moment had reinvested him, she thought. If only she could be so sure of herself now. "Time to put your money where your mouth is," Scully muttered to herself. The key entered the lock without the familiar looseness of a well worn connection. The knob turned stiffly and Scully walked through into a overwhelming brightness. The shades were open and the morning light streamed through. Immediately, she headed for the blinds in order to stem the flow of light. As she turned to face the room, she realized that there were two desks within this space. A smile crept over her face as she walked toward the closest one and slowly drew a finger along its cold government issue prefab surface. She lost herself in the memory of the tension she and Mulder shared over discussion of why she didn't have a desk in his, -- their previous habitat. Having a desk now, another symbol of being a partner, an equal and voluntary partner, made her shiver. It's so different now. So much more dangerous. "Last one in is a rotten egg?" "Mulder!" Scully gasped and jolted at the interruption from her reverie. "How long have you been standing there?" Not answering her question, Mulder breezed into the room and took stock. "Nice digs... a lot brighter." "I kind of miss the dimness..." Scully said softly. With that Mulder flipped the wall switch that controlled the recessed fluorescent light. Half of each overhead fixture went dim. "Better?" It was a question and a statement. "Better." His partner gave him one of her illusive high wattage smiles. Scully picked up the mailing tube that she'd propped against the desk. "This is for you... something I picked up the other day." "Hooo.... office warming gifts! I seemed to have forgotten my Emily Post, Scully." She just laughed and shook her head to tell him "don't worry about it." "Open it." He knew of course from the shape what it must be... and it was. "You found another one..." he said and he unrolled the familiar "I Want To Believe" poster. "I have my ways." He held it out before him considering it, and his face darkened. "I've wanted so badly to believe. To have proof that it's all real-- that it's all true. And now, after what we've experienced, I know it's all true..." he trailed off. "Mulder?" Scully moved toward him, a look of concern on her face. "What's changed?" He broke from his stare with a short rueful laugh and caught her eye. "I don't want to believe, anymore. I don't want it to be true." She cocked her head, urging him to continue. "I'm afraid to believe." Her words from a nearly five years ago came back to her. He turned and half sat, half leaned against the desk, putting aside the poster for the time being. "I used to think, Scully, that if only we could expose the truth... bring it to light, everything would be okay. Even if I couldn't find my sister..." he paused and looked into Scully's expectant eyes. "But now, after Dallas, and the bees, and Antarctica...I realize that no one will find freedom in this truth. Even if you and I could single handedly expose these men... it can't change anything. Too much is already set in motion." "It can, Mulder, we can." She moved closer. "That vaccine is proof of that. When you came and found me you put a wrench in part of the works, I'm sure of it... and if ..." He stopped her by grabbing her hands. "But at what expense? I almost lost you this time, and it's not the first time that's happened." "So you're giving up? You want to quit!" She challenged him and the edge in her voice caused him to straighten and look her directly in the eyes. "No, but I'm not fearless anymore...I'm not sure it's worth it if I could lose you or if ... you could lose me..." He paused waiting for her reaction. "I know, I have the same fears, Mulder, but I can't give into them. I can only believe that I was brought to this moment, with you, for this purpose. We have each other... to watch each other's backs." "But what if in spite of everything we do, the inevitable happens... that we are truly powerless to stop that which is planned." He rose and stood to face her. "Scully, over the last few weeks, the idea-- the fantasy of us, that the two of us," he explained as if she would need clarification, "might be better off waiting for the end of the world on a deserted island." She smiled and tried to break the tension, "A fantasy? Tell me more." She leaned into him, angling her head so that she was looking up at him." "Ah Scully..." he sighed and bowed his head so that their foreheads touched. "I'm serious," he pleaded. "I know you are..." "I just..." Mulder found his partner's hands instinctively and closed the distance between them, not touching except for their heads and their hands. He interlaced his fingers with hers, not grasping them, just lightly grazing her delicate fingers as if their digits were dancing. He looked into her eyes, wishing that he could telegraph his thoughts to her, and then closed them. "I just don't want any regrets." "Oh Mulder... " she whispered, her breath teasing his mouth, "I don't have any..." They swayed in silence, their energy passing between them for a bit. Then Mulder opened his eyes and gave her a piercing look. "But *I* do." Each word was emphasized for effect. Suddenly, their fingers stopped dancing and he grasped her hands to pull her closer and softly met her parted and ready lips with his. It was a gentle, tentative kiss that grew, not aborted this time by cataclysm and it did not end quickly... When they parted, she leaned against his chest and drew her arms around his waist as he enfolded her in his arms. He could feel her smile against his suit and she could feel the relief radiate from him in the tightness of his embrace. +++++ The next morning brought the reverse. Mulder was early and had already ensconced himself in the office with his feet propped up on the desk and a file in his lap, seemingly intently reading. However, when Scully entered, briefcase and a cardboard box in tow he eagerly jumped up to help her. "Morning." He smiled slyly at her. "Morning, Mulder." She returned the smile and then surveyed the situation. Her gift was up on the wall behind his desk. "I see you've made yourself at home... who said you could have the desk by the window?" she queried playfully. After yesterday's events, they hadn't been quite able to get to the mundane tasks of setting up a workspace. "Losers, weepers, Scully. Deal with it." She shook her head, happy to see him in better spirits. As she moved around to pull out the chair of her desk she found a familiar cylindrical shape laying on the seat of her chair. She picked it up and looked at Mulder silently asking a question. "Just something I had laying around my house." "What? His and her UFO posters, Mulder? Does it have my initials on it?" "Open it." She did and upon unfurling it she had to laugh. The sight of a full-on belly laugh from Scully was something unusual to Mulder and turned him on to say the least. They both looked at the artwork she'd laid out on the bare table top. It was a colorful photograph of a pristine, idyllic beach perhaps in Maui, or Kauai, perhaps the Bahamas. The sun drenched beach was part of a cove, which was caressed by teal blue water and bordered by stereotypical lush, green palm trees that were drooping slightly under the pressure of a fruitful coconut crop. "It's missing something though, Mulder..." He looked at her quizzically. She pushed past him and dove into his desk drawer where she new she'd find what she needed. Pulling out a thick black permanent marker and push pins she went to work. He could only smile at her handy work as she hung it up next to his poster a few minutes later. The image was just as he'd presented to her, except for one key element. Above the beach in the cloudless blue tropic sky, were the words: "I Want To Believe." "Thank you, Mulder, for the gift." "Anytime." "I love it, I really do... but," she could not look at him, "you need to do one thing for me." "What?" "Close the door, Mulder." He moved at her command. "And lock it...." *The End* So? Thoughts? What did you think? Feedback is most appreciated at Adu2@aol.com... xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Fight the Future: Not the LOVE! Visit the Season Five UST-O-METER: http://members.aol.com/InUSTTrust/ustmeter.html