From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: 19 Jun 2001 16:38:03 -0000
Subject: A Glimmer by mkai
Source: direct

Reply To: m_whiz@hotmail.com


A Glimmer

Category: Mulder's POV,  kinda babyfic
Spoilers:  immediately post-Existence
Rating: PG
Distribution: sure
Disclaimer: just sharing my thoughts
Feedback:  yes please!  m_whiz@hotmail.com
Author's Note:  at the end 
***************************************************
Black.
Red.
Ambulances
Hospitals
Sirens
Graves
Tombs
Autopsies
Corpses

All my work, and hence my life, seems to have evolved around death.  
The great unknown, the bright white lights.  Out of body 
experiences -hey, I've even been 'dead'and buried for three
 months myself.  For morethan a decade, almost every case
 invariably starts or ends with deaths.  And how many more
 times have Scully and I been nanoseconds from it?  Held 
at gunpoint, targeted, bombed, cancer, experimented on, left
 for dead. Do we embrace the value our survival more because
 we've come so close to loosing it so many times?  Do we
 treasure each other and those around us more?  Do we 
show them we care?  Or has these endlessthreats simply 
numbed us?  So that they don't really concern us anymore? 
Has each day simply become a countdown to and inevitable end, 
or is eachmoment to be experienced to the fullest?  So many times 
I've travelled that dark path of gloom, or hopelessness and despair 
at my inability to protectmy partner, or stop the alien's or the 
Syndicate's agenda.  Samantha, Melissa, Emily, my father, my
mother - hell, Spender, Fowley, Krycek....  how many
more  must be sacrificed for the cause?  Or are they the lucky 
ones, having escaped the doom surely to arrive with their 
Second Coming?  Why should I, or anybody bother if there 
is nothing that can be done? 

Yet a glimmer of light shines through, growing bigger as my 
heart once again finds the courage to fight the future, to
 forestall if not stop humanity's demise.

For in my arms I now hold Life, and he has in renewed my quest.  

***************************************************
author's note:  thanks for reading!  I've got HIGH hopes for 
Season 9!