From: Tom and Anne Simpson Date: Wed, 16 Jun 1999 22:26:03 -0600 Subject: Hello. I have an xf fanfic, if you wouldn't mind posting it. Hello. I would *really* love it if you posted this fic on the Gossamer Page. I would love you forever! Anyway, if you want to, here it is. Title: Going into the Operating Room Author; Pilar Jarvi Summary: Mulder is waiting while Scully goes into surgery for her cancer, and meets two very interesting people Rating: G Classification: MSR Keywords: Cancer Spoilers: Cancer eps Archive: PLEEEZE!!! Disclaimer: Okay, they don't belong to me. THEY DON"T and I mean no infringement. I just took Mulder and Scully out to play. I know they belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, Twentieth Century Fox, I KNOW!!!!! And besides, this is for their own good. (The characters, I mean.) Mulder sat outside of Scully's room. He felt very lonely without Scully there to anchor him. Or his sister? no, he wouldn't think of her now. The thought of that brief meeting earlier today was too painful. He rocked back and forth, waiting for the hospital bed to come wheeling out of her room with Scully's small comatose body lying prone on it. He knew that they would knock her out in her room, push out her bed to the operating room, and then have their way with her. The creak of the bed warned him. He almost jumped to his feet, but resisted the urge. He merely twiddled his thumbs as the huge bed creaked out of the door and down the hall. He stared at the direction it had gone for what seemed like a long time. He heard a door opening. A shivering girl emerged out of the room on the opposite side of the hall. She took up residence on one of the chairs directly opposite him. She was tiny, a bit smaller than Scully, but looked to be at least sixteen years old. She had long brown hair falling almost to her hips. Her eyes were of questionable color, since they were closed in pain. She was dressed in a wild teenager outfit, black jeans and a small multicolored tank top with loads of silver jewelry on. She sat perfectly still, her head bowed almost to her knees. He studied her for lack of anything else to do. With some surprise, he saw that she was sucking on her thumb. The childish gesture did not fit at all with the punk persona she seemed to have. His dry psychologist's mind wondered what trauma had made her regress so much. He knew that it was often brought around by great pain. But she wasn't crying, just sitting there motionlessly sucking her thumb. Without even thinking about it, he walked over and sat in the chair nearest her. She didn't even move. He cleared his throat. She jerked up so suddenly he feared she might break her neck. Her eyes turned out to be a dark brown, quite large. Her features were finely carved. Her complexion was a clear white except for two dark rings under her eyes. She would have been quite pretty except for the grief twisting her face, She just sat there, not even taking her thumb out of her mouth. She looked to be ages old, and so tired she didn't even care about where her thumb was. But she kept her head in profile to him, looking only out of the corner of her eye. "Sorry to bother you," he said softly in his bass rumble, "But I was just wondering why you are so upset." She blinked at him, then finally took out her thumb. "What did you say? I couldn't understand you." Her voice was high, with a slight quaver in it. "I said that I was wondering why you were upset." He spoke louder. She studied him out of the corner of her eye for a moment. Then, as if floodgates were opened, said "My twin sister is dying of cancer, and isn't expected to live through the night." She seemed to be trying to choke back sobs, but her composure was great. Her only sign to her grief was a slight quivering of her lower lip and voice. Mulder nodded slowly. He knew how she felt. He had already lost a sister to an unidentified enemy. Now his partner was dying of the same disease as this girl's twin was. "I'm sorry." He said softly. "I lost a sister too, and now my partner is dying of cancer as well." "I'm so sorry." The girl replied. There was a brief silence. Mulder wondered at the irony of her comforting him. "When did your sister die?" "When I was twelve years old. She was eight." He said, the painful words rolling almost effortlessly off his tongue. "How?" "I'm? not quite sure. She was taken from our house, maybe by aliens." The last part surprised him by coming out. He had never told anyone before. But the brown-haired girl just nodded. "Yeah, that was why my sister got her cancer. She was taken, then returned. And now," she paused for a second to get her tears under control, "now she has cancer. And she's gonna die." Mulder glanced over at the girl. She was obviously struggling for composure. "Your sister was abducted?" he asked carefully. She looked at him dead on. Her eyes were glittering with tears. "Yes. And I could feel what they did to her. It was horrible, but at least she had me there with her." Mulder stared back. The girl almost glared at him, challenging him to say that wasn't what happened. "Actually, my partner has cancer by the same way. But we're treating her, and she might recover." The girl's face suddenly lit up. "What? What treatment? Could it work for my sister?" Mulder shook his head slowly, and the girl's face screwed up. She looked away. There was an uncomfortable pause. "So partner? Do you mean fiancée?" The girl looked back into his face. He realized quite suddenly that he didn't know her name. "No, not fiancée. We both work for the FBI." The girl straightened up, seeming to almost get some passion into her frail body. "Listen, my parents are with Tonya now, but they will be leaving in a moment to go get my brother at home, and bring him to the hospital. But I will be staying behind. Would you mind coming in and talking to Tonya and me about the FBI? We both wanted to be cops when we grew up. It's not the same, but it's sorta. And maybe if you talked to her about how you partner might survive, well?" For the first time in his life, Mulder felt selfish. Here his partner might live, while this girl's twin sister would certainly die. And all he could do for this Tonya would be to talk with her about his job. "I'd love to." He said softly. "What's your name?" "Natasha. My sister's is Tonya. What's yours?" "Fox Mulder." He said quietly. "Okay, Fox, thank you very much for listening." Her composure seemed better now. He didn't bother to tell her to call him Mulder. Natasha's parents walked out. "You can go and see her, Natasha." Her mother said softly. Only then did she seem to notice Mulder. "Who's your friend?" Her face was etched with sorrow, but Mulder could still see the strong resemblance. "It's Fox Mulder. He works for the FBI, and his partner has cancer now like Tonya, and it's kinda like being a cop, so?" Her father nodded wearily. He looked as if he couldn't care about anything anymore. The pair slowly and sadly walked off towards the parking lot. Natasha grabbed his hand and pulled him inside the room. He stopped for a moment just inside the doorway. The girl on the bed looked so much like Scully. The face and coloring were completely different, but the bed with a tiny form on it, surrounded by huge machines, with a look of deep resignation on a parchment- colored face?he drew in a deep breath, feeling a sense of déjà vu. Natasha didn't seem to notice. She let go of his hand and hurried to her sister's bedside, quickly taking up residence on the chair next the bed. She grasped her sister's hand. "Hey, Tonya. It's Natasha. I brought a friend for you. He's FBI, kinda like what we wanted to be, huh?" The girl on the bed smiled. Mulder blinked. It was like he was seeing double. Although Natasha's complexion was much rosier than the girl's on the bed, the resemblance was so strong as to be two clones. Mulder introduced himself. "Hi. I'm Special Agent Fox Mulder." He held out his hand, and Tonya grasped it with the strength of a flower petal. Tonya spoke. Her voice was dry and rough, but it had almost the same qualities as Natasha's. "Hello, Fox. Thank you for coming in." "You're welcome, Tonya." He didn't correct her. Somehow it felt right that she should call him Fox. Both girls smiled at him. Natasha turned back to the bed. They whispered together for a moment. He heard snatches of "Fox", "ship", sister", and "abducted". Natasha turned back to him. "She wants to know your sister's name, the one who was abducted." Mulder frowned. It was an odd request. "Samantha?" he half asked. The whispered together for a moment. Natasha seemed to be acting as interpreter. "She says that she met your sister." Mulder stopped dead. "What?what did you say?" Tonya spoke again, although the effort clearly cost her. "I met her on the ship." "Is she still alive?" He asked quietly. "I don't know. But she was about a year ago. We were being experimented on together, and for about fifteen minutes we were alone. She said that she misses her brother Fox and her mother very much, and I told her about Natasha. Then they took us?and?" she gasped for air, clearly reliving the moment. Mulder reached over and took her other hand. Natasha was utterly absorbed with her sister, and didn't even glance over at him. "It's alright. You don't have to tell me. But thank you so much, Tonya." "It doesn't matter." Tonya whispered. Just the effort of speaking seemed to cost her. "Just tell me about what it's like to be a cop." Mulder slowly walked over and sat in the chair opposite Natasha's. Tonya craned her neck to see him. Both girls looked at him with an expression of trust, for a moment forgetting their pain. "Well," he started, "It can be the most exciting job in the world, or the most boring. I worked as a profiler for a while, but then I worked with cases called unsolvable, The X-Files." "A profiler?" Tonya said eagerly. "That was what I wanted to be. Before?" her voice trailed off. The other twin looked at the sickly form lying on the bed proudly, still holding her sister's hand. "Yes, she was going to be the brain and I the muscle. She was going to be the one who always was a genius and figured out who was the killer, and I was the one who would come in and get the bad guys." As she said the last, she turned her head to see Mulder staring in surprise at her. She ducked her head, as if surprised for a moment with her own outburst. Mulder inextricably felt his eyes fill with tears. Here was another pair of siblings that would be ripped apart by the little gray men, just as he and Samantha had been ripped apart. He looked away. When he looked back, he saw that they were whispering together again. Natasha turned around to face him, and said, "Tonya has almost no strength, and feels very tired, and so I'll do all the talking for her." Mulder nodded. She continued to ask questions for both of them, about his partner, what it was like on a stakeout, if he had ever been in a gunfight before, and so on. Nothing about Tonya's, Samantha's, or Scully's abductions was talked about. Mulder just was thankful that he wouldn't have to answer any questions about Scully or Samantha. The subject was just too painful. He greatly enjoyed telling them about the X-files, though. They were a rapt audience, utterly attuned to his every word. Tonya gradually closed her eyes as Mulder's soft bass rumbled on. Prompted by Natasha's questions, Mulder started to talk about Scully. His voice became soft as he spoke about what she meant to him. He found it surprising, but he told them about every single romantic thing that had happened between them. An perfect memory could be bad if you didn't want to spill the beans. Tonya suddenly opened her eyes. They were the exact same shade as Natasha's. She gripped his hand with a frightening intensity, startling him in mid sentence. He stopped talking. She started to talk, but Natasha shushed her. Tonya glared at her twin. Natasha clearly gave up. Tonya spoke in a quiet, gravelly voice, "I have to tell you one other thing. I'm dying. It's a fact. But either you or Scully don't have to. Remember that. And remember that it shouldn't take a death to force you into trying for something that seems unattainable. I just wish?" she coughed, almost dislodging the tubes in her nose, "that I would have had a bit more life. I just feel so unfulfilled. Just so unfulfilled." She repeated, her voice finally dying off. She seemed to almost fall asleep before their eyes. Mulder glanced worriedly at the heartbeat monitor, but the line still showed regular bumps. He glanced back at Natasha. He saw that she was crying. As soon as she realized he was watching, she turned away and swiped her face. Natasha gently extricated her hand from her twin's, and stood up. She just stood there, looking down on the bed with an expression of pain, fear, and loneliness. Suddenly she almost ran through the door. Mulder sprinted after her, leaving Tonya quietly lying comatose in the tiny room. Mulder caught up with Natasha just outside the door. She had stopped suddenly, and was looking into the small room through the observation window. He stopped dead. Then he walked over to the opposite side, where Scully's room was. And he sat down, and waited. He glanced back and forth anxiously from Natasha to the hallway where he knew Scully would be coming back. He hoped Scully would come soon. He had two special people for her to meet, and a three word phrase to say to her.