************************************************************************** Trustyone's e-mail address has changed to: trustyonefanfic@hotmail.co.uk ************************************************************************** From: "Trustyone" Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1998 18:46:01 +0100 Subject: RESUBMISSION: Golden Days of the X Title: Golden Days of the X Author: Trustyone Rating: PG (for the language) Classification: SH (I hope) Spoilers: None Keywords: Alternative Universe Summary: Gillian Anderson, David Duchovny, Chris Carter and Co from 1013 cause havoc at the Golden Globes DISCLAIMER: The X Files, Mulder, Scully...oh sorry wrong story... ...Chris Carter, Gillian Anderson, David Duchovny, Tea Leoni, Blue the dog, Clyde Klotz, Frank Spotnitz, Mark Snow, the rest of the cast and crew at 1013, Jane Seymore and Dennis Franz do not belong to me. They belong to themselves. Honest!!! I am only writing a piece of fiction, it never happened, it may happen. In this story GA is not divorced and DD is married to Tea Leoni (she should realise she is a *very* lucky lady). It is set after season four. No infringment, offence, or disrespect is intended towards anyone in this piece. And, no, they really aren't this wierd!! Author's speech: I would like to thank my close friends Mark Taylor and Chel Scully (and Liv) for being one of only two X-Philes I know and who puts up with my crazy mind every time we speak. I would also like to thank my family for not committing me to a mental institute yet and for my other friends who accept my insane ways. This story would not have been possible without my computer monitor, keyboard, and dictionary. I would also like to thank anyone who, while reading this particular paragraph, doesn't think I a complete raving lunatic! P.S. This ain't a typical "X File" story. Okay? P.P.S. I really don't think this is the best thing ever written. Okay? Enjoy! Comments, flames, chocolate, constructive critisism, jokes, rumors, spoilers, flowers...um...feedback is welcome! Please, PLEASE, *PUH-LEEZE* send to Trustyone@thewebbs.demon.co.uk No flames for typos. Okay? --------------------------------------------------------------------X Golden Days of the X by Trustyone -------------------------------------------------------------------- X ----------X Golden Globe Awards Hollywood California The tall, brown haired form of David Duchovny walked through the masses of familiar faces and celebrities at the Beverly Hilton Hotel looking for 'the gang'. He had lost his date, and was quite worried where she had disappeared to, but he had been stuck with the air-headed Jane Seymore. That was probably why his 'date' had split. He was hoping to do the same thing, but gentlemanly politness and being pinned to the wall by the fairly strong woman had prevented him from doing so. So, he had had the hellish pleasure of being stuck with Jane Seymore for the last 15 minutes, and it had totally fried his intellectual brain with tales of how she managed to keep her hair looking so beautiful while looking after so many UberSeymore's. He needed to get to Gillian and Chris before his mind blew a fuse. He had to practically peel Seymore of himself as he had tried to make a hasty departure. And, he hadn't seen any of his fellow X Files co-workers, so he was a bit stuck as to what kind of dress, hairstyle, or, for that matter, what state of soberness Gillian Anderson was sporting. He hasitly looked around for his work mates as he heard the shrill voice of Jane echoing his name. The actual presentation ceremony had been over for an hour and the numerous celebrities who had attended were now 'partying', if you could call it that. Most of the cast and crew of Homicide and ER, and and few other celebrites (who will remain nameless) had kind of passed out on the floor. Only after the ER cast had tried to disect George Clooney. They had to be constantly reminded that they weren't actually qualified medical doctors. This had broken their little hearts. David looked around hastily for Gillian. He knew her hair could be seen a mile away, even in the pit of darkness. As he had suspected, his co-star's bright red hair shone out to guide him back to decent conversation. Gillian had been looking for David...and alcohol the entire evening, as he husband had decided to bail on her during the awards ceremony. But that was because he had been mistaken for her stalker. He had been escorted away before she could do anything. Gillian spotted a half empty bottle of red wine on an unatteneded table she though brightly and downed the whole bottle in one go. Then she spotted her lost co-star and sauntered (as best she could) over to him as Dennis Franz staggered over to her. "Hey, there" His breathe stank of very strong whisky. "Hello" she said politely, "been at the drink again have we?" She couldn't forget how he had thought he had been 'in with a chance' last year! She still regretted not smacking him then, but Chris and David had restrained her. "Hell, yes. You?" she shook her head, "Shame....I was kinda hopin' that you would wanna....red heads really do it for me ya know!" Gillian stopped in her tracks and stared at the drunken, pathetic excuse of a man. Maybe she would get a chance this year. "Excuse me! Well, for your information Mr Franz, I'm married and you are married, although, it is a wonder how the Hell you could possiably *be* married" "Never stopped me before" his glassy eyes staring somewhere below her chin. He hadn't got the message. "I'm not a red-head" she tried to restrain herself, it wasn't working. "Still never stopped me" he slurred, still not looking at her face. His hand suddenly tried to lunged out towards her petite body. His face was met with the im-measurable force of Gillian's fist in his nose. He looked up as she stormed off towards Doooooo-cok- kneee . He passed out as he crashed onto the floor. No one noticed as everyone else was unconscious. ----------X "Hey, David. Where you been? I haven't talked to you at all yet!" she said, sitting next to David. "Yeah..." he trailed off. "What's up? Date run off?" she said. "Well, Tea couldn't make it. She's filming at the moment, so I brought someone else" "Ooh, does Tea know her?" Gilian chided him. "Yes" he said. "Oh, you didn't..." she said, knowing that Tea only knew that herself, Gillian, his mom, sister and Blue were the main women in his life. "Yes, I brought Blue. Okay? But I've lost her" he moaned, a frown on his face. Gillian laughed. "You brought your dog? Now *that* is unusual" "Tell me about it. But it's not funny...now" he moaned. He heard a dog yelp somewhere in the hall. "Oh God! You'll have to find her, before the ER team cut her up" "Their doing it *again*?" "Yep!" she said, scanning an newly vacated table for alcohol. She walked over to the table and drained the bottle of wine left there. She rejoined David after he had scanned the place for his dog. "So, where did you go that made you lose the dog?" she asked. "That dog has a name!" he said angrily. "Sorry...so where?" "Huh? Oh, talking to Doctor Quinn, folicle woman" he quipped. Gillian smiled as she saw the flustered look of her co-star. "Still drooling over you is she?" He nodded. "What happened with intoxo-man?" He gestured to the sorry man laying on the floor. "I introduced him to my physical nature" "Ooh. Will I ever be introduced to your 'physical' nature?" "You never know" "Oh, I'm seeing a whole new side of you Anderson" "Is that a good thing?" "I 'like' it" he said, grinning at her. "Well that's all you can do 'cos I'm married! And so are you!" "Come on, let your guard down. Let your hair down. Let your mother down" he said, in a joking-yet-serious tone. "I'm serious" she said to him. "Me too!" he said, sarcastically. "Really! I never knew you thought of me like that Duchovny" "You never know" "And I never will" "I know!" "I should think so!" she said with a jokingly matter-of-fact tone. David looked at her with mock hurt. Gillian smiled. "Where are the others?" David asked, returning to a serious topic. "Huh? Oh...last time I saw them, Chris was trying to surf on one of the tables, Clyde was professing his undying love for me to a plant, and...that's all I can remember" "Ah-ha" he thought. "Wanna join me outside?" "Yeah go on. I'll see if Blue is there. You gonna smoke?" "Well...yes. But if you have some alcohol on you, I may change my mind!" "What is it with you and wine?" David asked puzzled. "Well, the alcohol is *free*!. What else does a girl do at things like this!?" "I dread to think" David said dryly. "So, you haven't drunk anything? You look like you need a drink...fast!" "Gee, thanks Gillian!" She shrugged at him as they walked to the back door. David shook his sadly, he hadn't had the chance to drink anything and he didn't think he would get the chance seeing as though everyone had beaten him to it. They walked outside through onto the terrace where hoards of celebs were smoking. There was a cirle of people sitting on the floor, in the lotus position, chanting Beatles music. Glen Morgan was among them, chanting Elvis tunes. The two sat down on a free seat, Gillian lit up a cigarette and took a long, deep drag. "You know, you should give that up" "Bite me" she replied. "Franz really pissed you off again, didn't he" "He came on to me again, so this year I knocked him out!" "Wish I could do that with Seymore!" "Why don't you! I would" "Really?" "Well...no. I have no reason to" "I can think of one" "Really?" She took another drag off her cigarette. "Yeah. You knock her out for harassing your co-worker" "I couldn't care less about you being harassed. But I would love to cut her hair off" "I'd love to see ya do that!" "You know, one of these years we are gonna be in deep shit" she was right... Last year, they had gotten into trouble with security after Franz, Duchovny, Clooney and a few TV drama male leads got into a pro-wrestling match. Luckily it hadn't made the papers. These functions were brilliant cover-up conspiricy type affairs. David suddenly gasped as Jane Seymore came running over. "Oh God!" he moaned. "What?" Gillian asked worried. David pointed over to Seymore. "Gillian? Do me a favor, you do owe me after all" "Depends. What?" "Sit on my lap" "What?!?" "Do it!?!? I'll...owe you...big time!" Gillian sighed as she slid onto David's lap. "Oh, David! I've been looking all over you! Oh.." Jane Seymore suddenly stopped when she saw Gillian and David. "What?" David asked in over-the-top interest. "Umm, your busy...never mind...I..uh" she stuttered. As quickly as she had arrived, she left again. "You owe me a hundred-fold!!! She will tell *everyone* that something is going on!!!" "Well if she starts rumors about us, you have a reason to cut her hair off! I can supply the scissors!" "Shut up Duchovny!" Gillian said, not budging. She wanted to finish her cigarette and there were no other seats. "David?" he heard another female voice say. "TEA!?" he screamed, jumping up and sending Gillian to the floor. "Yes...what were you two..?" "Doing? That would be getting away from Jane Seymore" Gillian explained in her Scully-like matter-of-fact tone. "It was nothing, Tea. Really" David grovelled, Tea could be the jealous type. He put an arm round her waste and she lunged onto him, giving him a passiionate kiss. "Ugh. I'm going inside. You two make me sick" Gillian sarcastically said. Neither of them acknowledged her departure. "It was nice seeing you, too" she said aloud, walking back inside. "David, who did you come with then?" Tea said after they both came back up for air. "Umm..." "Gillian?" "Err..." "Your sister again?" "Well..." "Well?" she sounded slightly irritated. "Blue" "BLUE?! The dog?!?" she shrieked in hysteria. "And I've lost her" he said, trying not to cry. "Oh, poor baby" she said soothingly. She gave him yet another passionate kiss. After three minutes, they parted again. "I'll go find her" she said, smiling at him. "Umm...okay then" he said. He followed where Gillian had gone before him and heard Tea's voice become more distant. "Blue? Here girl. Come on Blue..." ----------X Back inside the hotel, Frank Spotnitz was crawling around the floor, looking for spare change. Gillian spotted a half empty bottle of wine "Oh, drink!" she exclaimed. She drained the bottle dry before David could get any of it. Chris was 'surfing' to the tune of Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You" atop the centre table in the large hall. David was suddenly forced against the wall by a drunken, bloody Dennis Franz who spoke. "Hell-Oh Mr Hot-shot-from-the-FOX-NETWORK? Howzzzzz the lady?" Franz gestured (or maybe 'leered' is a better word) towards Gillian. "How's the nose?" "You pissing me off DOOOO-COCKEEEE!? Or is it Doh-cookie? Or Dull-off-kneee? Doooo-cuff-neee?" "DOO-KUV-NEE! And yes I am" "Well, I would hit you but I can't see properly" Franz confessed. "Well, I wouldn't hit you under normal circumstances, but you're a winner who screwed up my name, so I *will* have to hit you. Kindly take two steps back then run into my fist" he ordered dryly to the man, holding up his fist at the level of Franz's head. Gillian came over to restrain her co-worker "David...let it go" she sighed. she thought. "You wanna piece of this?" David threatened Franz. "Huh?" was all Franz could answer as David's fist flew into the spinning head of drunked Dennis. "David!" Gillian tried again. David and Dennis punched, kicked and struggled. Each time David hit him, he pronounced his name, correctly. "Duchovny!" "*Duchovny*!" , "DUCHOVNY!" "David!!!" Gillian screamed. He continued to ignore her so she went to extreme measures. She jumped onto his back and put her arms around his shoulders and neck. He tried to shake her off. "Damn it Gillian! Get off!" "For God's fucking sake, David!!! Leave it!!!" she screamed as she continued to hang on for dear life. "David?" Tea asked, reappearing with the dog under her arm. Everybody stopped what they were doing to look at the sight of Tea with Blue, who was now licking her face. "Eeww! David, get the dog off me!" she shrieked. He staggered over, Gillian still on his back, and took Blue from her. "Okay, bye honey" she said, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Where are...?" he trailed off. "Can't talk now sweety. My future movie career hangs in the balance" she said, skipping away. "Good luck" Gillian muttered under her breath. Tea had about as much chance of getting a movie career as David had chance of finding Blue, as the dog had escaped. David looked slightly confused. "Ahem" Franz said. Everyone went back to doing what they had been doing before the interuption. "DAVID!!!" Gillian screamed. "Shut up Gillian!" David screamed. "Hey Duck-off-nee" Franz tried to scream. "DUCHOVNY!!!!!!" David screamed. Chris Carter was now humming the theme tune to Hawaii 5-0 and Clyde Klotz was hugging the trunk of a potted palm tree while whispering sweet nothings to it. Frank Spotnitz was still searching the floor. So far he had found three dollars worth of change. "Oh Jesus" the security guard moaned, "Not *again*!" "Just get 'em" the other burly man said. The X Files stars looked a sight as security walked in to see flamed-haired Gillian Anderson being given a 'piggy-back' roller- coaster ride by a very angry David Duchovny, who was smacking a semi-concious Dennis Franz. The burly security guards restrained Duchovny, resusitated Franz, and peeled an hysterical Anderson off the back of her work mate. they thought dispairingly They carried off the three actors to the back offices, pulled Chris Carter off the table and got the others too. -----X In the back offices, Gillian nursed the bloody lip of David. "Hey, you know you have the healing touch!" David quipped. "Well after years of playing a doctor, I should think so!" She sat down after the blood had stopped flowing and smoothed the creases out of her dark purple gown. Dennis Franz lay on the floor, out cold. Carter was, again, 'surfing' on a desk, Klotz was now singing "I Will Always Love You" to a coat stand and Spotnitz was shrieking. "A nickle! I found *a nickle*!!!" The director of the ceremony walked in....and then out again. "What are you doing? Aren't you gonna have a word with them?" asked a slightly pissed off security guard. "Why the Hell should I waste my breath!" "Because...they were...I mean they are...okay, I know they did this last year, but...oh fuck it! Never mind!" "Exactly! Take them back to the party" The guards obeyed. ----------X Three hours later David was now totally out of his head...and still standing. Franz staggered over to him. "Hey David, ol' buddy!" "What do you want!?" David said angrily. "Just wanna see how David Doo...Doo-cuff...Doh-cook...David is doing!" "No, what do ya really want!?! And it's DU-CHOV-NY!!!" "Well the reason why I came over is 'cos me and my mates over there" he gestured over to were his equally drunk collegues were standing (well, sitting and falling over, and laying down), "and we were wondering if you and the lady...Gillian...had ever...you know..." "No we ain't...and you ain't gonna either! Her husband is here ya know! And so is my wife" "She ain't" Franz said. "Yes she...isn't she?" asked a bemused David Duchovny. "Nope. Gone to take a dog home or something" it was Franz's turn to look confused. "SHE FOUND HER!?" Mulder screamed. "Umm...yeah...anyway, back to the red-head" Franz directed the conversation back to the original 'topic'. "Umm...what was it...oh yeah...no!" "But her husband wouldn't like me! He's scary ya know. And God, you havent' heard anything about Tea. She is a *maniac* if she gets angry. One time she had one strand of hair outta place and she burned every photograph there was!" he said, trying to impress Franz. "Well he wouldn't notice ya know!" Franz pointed out. They both looked at Clyde Klotz. Franz was right unfortunately. Clyde Klotz was begging forgiveness to 'Gillian-the-pot-plant'. It seemed that Clyde had been having an affair with the potted palm tree, who was called Bamboo, but..."Not Bambi, never Bambi!!!" he moaned, on his knees. "I'm sorrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeee, Gillian. I didn't mean it. It wasn't my fault! I couldn't...I'd never hurt yooooouuuuuu!" he slurred, wiping his tears on the leaves. "Oh, Gillian, you're sooooo understanding..." David sighed. Franz spoke up again. "What about you and me have a bet?" "Huh?" "What say, the winner gives the loser ten dollars? Fair?" "Don't ya mean the loser gives the winner ten dollars?" "Umm...yeah" "Hey, depends on the challenge!" "Okay, it's just to see who can get to kiss the gorgeous Mz. Anderson" "Huh? No way! I'm married! She's married! That's gross!!! She's my best friend!!! Are you *mad!?!" "No, just intoxicated!!! Never mind!!" he said. Franz walked away giggling. "Hey, Mister Paris, Franz! I'll do it!!!" "Huh?" Now it was Dennis's turn to be confused. "Okay" "Fine. You can go first!" "Okay, get your cheque book out Duchovny!" "It's alright, I think I have the cash" ----------X Gillian was on top of a table, lying down on her back laughing hysterically as the ceiling fan blades slowly went round, and round, and round, and round... "One...two..three...four...eight...eleven...seventeen... five...twenty-three..." Suddenly a dispairing David screamed "Gillian!!! I've had a brain wave!!! It's genius!!!" he repeated over and over as he ran around the hall like a headless chicken. Gillian jumped up. "They went round 24 thousand point two five times!!!" she screamed pointing to the air conditioning fans on the ceiling. She stood on the round table, jumping up and down in her purple chiffon dress, that had a wine stain down the front. David lept his six-foot-one-inch frame into the air and onto the table to join Gillian. "Hey Sc...Gillian?" "Huh?" "You know...um...whats-his-name...Mulder! And Scully?" he shrieked in alcohol induced excitment. Gillian nodded her head in total confusion. "Got a drink?" she asked. David shook his head, she began to sulk "Need drink. Need *alcohol*! Need DRINK!!!" she screamed, practically strangling David as she grasped his shirt collar in a death-grip. "Anyway, Gillian....what would happen if you know, Mulder and Scully 'got it together?'" he said, then began to giggle like a girl. "What? You mean '*how* would they get together' or '*if* they would get together'?" she said slowly, trying to focus on his face. But, her eyes were drawn to the ER cast as they acted out a scene where Dr. Ross was stabbed by Dr. Carter and all the women were screaming. "Huh? Um...how...yeah, definatley how!" "Um....I don't kno...what was the question again? Gotta drink?" "Um...Gill? You know we're best mates and all!?!" he decided to go for a different approach. Gillian nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, David, we'll be friends forever and ever and ever and ever and..." she gave him a big hug. "Well, don't tell anyone but" he crouched down to her level as he prepared to tell her a secret, "You know Paris Franz? He made me make a bet...to see if I would kiss you before him!" "Ee-ww! That's gross, we're best buds! And I'm a taken woman. And you're a taken man" she said in a slurring voice. "Yeah. What about Franz?" "Ee-ww, he's gross too!" "Yep!" he said triumphantly, "Wanna help me get ten dollars? I'll halve it with ya!" Gillian nodded in agreement and they began to plot... ----------X Ten minutes later Gillian walked over (well, more like staggered over) to Dennis Franz who had just finished another bottle of red wine. He had lost count of how many he'd had, but he didn't seem to care. "Dennis?" "Oh, red-head! Hi!" "I know you want me!" she said in a low, seductive, yet drunken voice. "Uh-huh!" "I know you want me, bad. Don't ya!" she said in a low sexy tone. "Uh-huh!" Dennis's tongue was hanging out and he was drooling over her. "Did you know you have beautiful brown eyes?" he said even though he wasn't looking at her eyes. Mind you he wasn't looking at her face for that matter. "Well Dennis...I know you wanna kiss me!" "Uh-huh!" "Well... I would...not because I know you want to win money, you bastard!!!!" she shrieked in his ear. "No, I...red...I...it was Dohcuffly!" "No, it was you! And it's DU-CHOV-NY!!!!" she yelled as she slapped him across the left side of his face and stormed off. Franz fell to the floor from the force, he was too out of it to register with the pain. ----------X One minute later Gillian skipped back, falling over every three steps as her dress, again, was too long for her petite figure. David jumped down from the table, where he had been entertaining the drunken crowd with Elvis impressions (at the request of Glen Morgan), and hugged Gillian. She giggled a girly laugh as he lifted her on to the table. "Hey Scu...Gillian...wanna kiss me in victory?" "Hey Mu...David...no! That's gross, we're best buds!" "Yeah, but we kiss when one of us wins an award!" "Yeah, but that's for 'well done'!" "Ain't that the same as a 'victory'!?" "Well...no....err...gotta drink?!" "Don't you want five dollars?" "Yeah, but it's still gross!" "Okay..." David agreed. "Okay..." Gillian echoed. "Wanna drink?" "Oh, go on then!" ----------X Twenty-five minutes later The X files cast and crew (who were at the ceremony) were all sat on a large round table in a circle. Chris was now acting crazyily, humming the theme tune of Sesame Street. "Lets play 'truth or dare'!" screamed Klotz. "No!" replied a glum David who was now pissed off that he had lost his chance to get five dollars, his dog, and his wife. "OKAY!" replied Gillian, who was holding on to her twenty- somethingth bottle of wine. "Chris, you go first! Truth or Dare!" Klotz asked. "Truth! But remember...the truth is out *there*!" he said mysteriously. "Ooh!" Gillian gasped in awe. "Yeah, what's with *that* plot line?" David asked, trying to figure out it's finer points and meanings. After five years of working on the show, he hadn't the faintest idea of where his character was headed, where the show was headed, or where the location for shooting was headed "If I told you, it wouldn't be a secret any more!" Chris snapped. "Hey! Back to the game, people?" Gillian interupted, finishing off her bottle of wine. "Okay...Oh, goody! Truth...umm...how did you get the idea for The X Files?" Spotnitz asked. "You know that!" Chris scoffed. "No I don't" said Glen Morgan. "OKAY! OKAY! Stop with the third degree already!!! The janitor of the surf magazine I worked for gave it to me!!! ALRIGHT!!!" Chris screamed in terror. The alcohol had definately affected him. "Okay. My turn!" he said, suddenly cheerful. "David...how do you and Gillian get that sexual chemistry on the screen?" "Huh...oh...um...dunno!" "Can't be an answer! 'Dunno' ain't an option! I would have thought a person who was one step away from a Ph.D. in English Literature would give a better word than 'dunno'!" "Hey! You didn't ask me if I wanted 'truth or dare'!" David angrily pointed out. "Maybe I want 'dare'!" "Okay, David...Truth or dare?" Chris sighed. This man was *stubborn*. "Truth" Chris sighed again, "Okay, how do you and Gil..." "Okay, you don't have to repeat yourself, surfy dude!!! I dunno, it's just there, I didn't go out and buy it or anything!" Chris looked really hurt at being called 'surfy dude' "Hey, I ain't no beach bum, I'm a serious screen-play writer!" He stormed off "Why don't you go back to school and write bloody poems!" he replied. "Okay, Gillian...what's it like to give birth?" Morgan asked. "What kinda hell question is that?" screamed Mark Snow who had just woken up from his alcohol-induced coma. "Oh, it's so painful, but really wonderful in the long run" answered Klotz. "Hey, it's my question, not yours!!!" Gillian screamed at her husband. "Sorry Gillian, I didn't mean to...I just...couldn't help myself!!!" Klotz cried out. "Okay, forgiven!" she sighed. Klotz shut up. Gillian continued, "It's real painful. You feel like your insides are being pulled inside out. Your stomach bulges and moves and you feel this thing slide and wriggle and move around in your body. The pain is unbearable, I mean your vagi..." she looked up to all the men going green with ill feelings. "Mind you, I didn't *actally* give birth to Piper. I had a C-section. But, I'll be glad to tell you about the morning sickness and diper changing!" she said brightly. Clyde ran to the nearest pot plant and began to throw his guts up, while he gasped "No more. Please, don't let me live through all that Hell again" Then he suddenly went back to thinking that the pot-plabnt was indeed Gillian "I'm sooo sorreeee Gill! I didn't...let me clean you up" he cried, running off to find a towel. He returned with his suit jacket and tried to dress the plant with it. "Gill..why do you suddenly have eight arms?..You're not really an octopus are you..?" Gillian stared at the ceiling fans as they continued to spin. "One...nine...twleve...three..." "Okay, David...truth or dare?" Spotnitz spoke. "Dare" "Okay, I dare you...to french kiss...Gillian!" he screamed, then fell about in hilarious laughter. "What the fu.." David asked alarmed, "Are you mad!?" "Ee-ww!" groaned Gillian, suddenly brought back from the world of spinning blades. "Nope" replied Spotnitz, gaining some self control. "Pass" David said. "Can't do that!" Spotnitz snapped back. "He can...and he has!" Gillian backed up David. "Well...Okay. Gillian...truth or dare?" Spotnitz continued. "Dare" Gillian whispered. "Okay, I dare you to french kiss...David!" "No fair!" Gillian and David said in unison. Spotnitz laughed as Gillian and David looked uneasyliy at one another. "Hey, I'm married. I can't!" Gillian pointed out, to David's relief. "Ditto" said David. "Hey, I don't mind. You're drunk, I'm drunk, we're all drunk. We won't remember it in the morning!" Klotz said to the plant pot. "See? You have your husband's approval!" Spotnitz delared. "He won't be my husband for long if he DOESN'T BACK ME UP!" she screamed at him. Klotz backed away and hid in the plant he had once thought was his wife. Gillian, furious at her husband, ran over to David even though they were sat on the same table and whispered in his ear... "What are we gonna do? Clyde doesn't mind...but I don't wanna do it!" she moaned. "Me either! And Tea will kill me" David moaned. "THIS ISN'T JUST ABOUT YOU, YA KNOW!" she screamed. "Well..." "But, we are drunk so it we wouldn't remember, that is, only if we see don't see a way of getting out of this" "Yeah, but I ain't gonna stop at nothing to provent this" David said. "Me too" Gilian agreed "But, if we can't, it would be wierd for us!" David pondered. "I know...." Gilian said uneasily. Suddenly there was a whispered chanting that got louder and louder as not only the X Files cast and crew started to repeat over and over "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" but, other celebs who were still concious were joining in. "Looks like we ain't getting out of it alive" Gillian whispered glumly. David nodded in agreement. ----------X Three seconds later Gillian followed David onto the table and hid behind him as the crazy, drunk crowd continued their chanting. They encircled the table and Spotnitz jumped up onto the table and forced Gillian and David to face one another. Gillian looked into David's drunked gaze. David looked into Gillian's glazed blue eyes. They (not under any kind of self control) moved, slowly closer and closer to one another. David placed his hands on her waist as she put hers on his shoulders. Their faces were inches away. Centimetres away. Millimetres away.... "DAVID!" Tea screamed, jumping onto the table. "Uhh, Tea!" "Hey Tee!" Gilian said brightly, holding onto David's shoulders before she tumbled off the table. "THat's TeA! I'm not a beverage you know!" she snapped at Gillian. "Sorr-eee" Gilian snapped back in a very sarcastic tone. "Well then, Entertainment Tonight *was* right. You are having an affair you bastard!" Tea shrieked. David's eardrums burst. "You, you...I hate...God, why?..Wasn't I good enough...was it my hair? Did it get too flat? What?...My mother was right..." she said, her voice raising an octave higher with every word, before her voice couldn't be heard by the human ear. Suddenly Blue bounded into the room, answering Tea's cries. "Tea, only the dog can understand you" David pointed out. Tea shut up, looking at the forlorn dog sat on the ground. "Hey, Tea, your mascara is running" Gillian said, trying not to hide the grin that was forming on her face. This made Tea cry even harder. "I'll talk to you later" she snapped at her husband, getting off the table and taking the dog with her. "At least Blue cares!" she cried, departing from the Beverly Hilton, to go to her own hotel. Gillian burst into a silent laughter, as did David, but they were laughing at different things. Gillian was laughing at Tea being...Tea, and David was laughing at the fact that they were standing on the table and people were staring at them. Gillian hadn't noticed. "Gillian?" "Hmm..." "Can you hear something?" his ear-drums were still pounding from his wife's screaming. "Umm...maybe" Unrealised to both of them, the entire room was still chanting "Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss" Gillian and David finally regained their sense of hearing at frowned again. But, the alcohol took over...again. Their lips: inches away, millimetres away... Their lips touched in a friendly kiss which lasted for a brief couple of seconds, but it lasted long enough for many reporters to burst through the doors and snap photographs. Franz had tipped off the press that Gillian Anderson and David Ducuffly were announcing their engagment!!! Cameras flashed and clicked as they recorded the clinch that Gillian and David were in, but the X File stars didn't seem to take in the fact that the cameras belonged to the press. They just stood there. Their arms around each other in a friendly embrace, trying to keep their balance as they laughed hysterically at nothing and all the drunken celebs around them cheering. But, as usual, the reporters were reading a whole lot more than there actually was. "ALIENS HAVE LANDED!!!!!" Carter screamed, as he saw the flashing lights. Everyone screamed and ran for the doors, stampeding the reporters as they went. Gillian and David fell down onto the table. "Hey, where did everyone go?" David asked, while trying to roll off thetable without hurting himself. "I don't know....maybe they were abducted by aliens" Gillian said, again staring at the spinning fans. "Hey..that means...Mulder *was* right!" David's muffled voice came from underneath the table now. "Who?" Gillian asked "Hey, no people here, more drink for us! Cool!" she said, getting upa nd running to the nearest bottle of wine. David crawled through the chairs and Gillian drank all the wine. There was no one else there. "I found *another* nickle!!!!!" screamed Spotnitz from another table. ----------X The next morning. Gillian Anderson walked out onto the terrace of her large hotel room. Her head was thumping with pain. She swore that she would never drink again, like she said every time she got a hangover. The sun shone onto the terrace. It was about ten in the morning. She had been awaken by Piper who was now down at the large swimming pool with the nanny. Clyde was snoring like a fog horn. She watched for a while as her daughter splashed about in the shallow end of the pool. Gillian felt ill as she watched Piper move with so much energy, she just wanted to go back to sleep but she had to pack everything as she was back at work tomorrow. She walked back into the room, as there was a light knock on the door. Room service. There was a hot english breakfast and the morning paper. She sat down to read the paper. She couldn't face food. She flicked through the pages to where an article was about the Globes the night before. She gasped in shock as she saw a huge, full page photo of her and David, seemingly kissing, on a table and nearly everyone who was there around them. she thought as she began to feel sick. She couldn't remember a lot about the night before and wondered how the Hell that had happened. Clyde would not be pleased. She wondered if David had seen it. The phone rang once, twice. She realised what the ringing was and dashed over to the phone. "Gillian?" a tentative voice said. He'd seen it. "Oh...David" "You saw it too?" "Yep" "Do you remember anything? I don't" "I think there was an awards ceremony. I *know* there was alcohol. Does Chris know?" "Don't think so. Does Clyde know?" "Not yet" "Okay. Bye" "See ya later" They both hung up the phone and she went to get changed. ----------X David's room "David!" "Yes" "What is *this*!?" she screamed, holding up the large colour photograph entitled 'The SE-X Files!'. "Original title isn't it" he noted, hoping to switch the subject. He couldn't remember a thing, but he had many bruises for some reason. What was he going to say to his hysterical wife? "Well?!?!?!" she shrieked again. David tried not to cringe at the high pitch noise. His head was thumping and his ears were pounding. He had to get Tea to fucus on something else...but what? "Tea, you hair is a mess" he said. He knew *that* would distract his wife. "WHAT!?" she screamed, running into the bathroom, and locking the door. he thought, slumping on the bed, hoping his hea would came down and let him get through the nest few hours in peaceful. ----------X Three hours later Gillian was down in the lobby, waiting for the car who would take herself and her family to the airport. Piper clung onto her leg and constantly complained that she was bored. Clyde was sat down, nursing his bad head. David was stood at the other end of the reception area, explaining to Carter that the picture and article were *not* going to jeapordise his show. His memory was starting to return, but somethings were still blurry or missing all together, like his wife. For once, Blue was the one that was around. He began to ponder where Tea could be as Dennis Franz approached him. "Hey Duchovny!" "Wow, you got my name right" "Yeah well, once you get it beaten into you, you kinda try to remember it" "Well, what d'ya want?" "Oh, to give you that. You did win! After all a bet is a bet" "Huh?!" "Remember? We..." Franz dragged David away from Chris, "We made a bet to see who could kiss Gillian first. You won, as everyone in LA and California knows!" "Oh, yeah right" David accepted the 10 dollars. He was relieved. He started to remember *that* bit. Thank God. "Oh, yeah. I...um...was a bit pissed off that you won, I mean, you work for the Fox network, so I told the press you were announcing your engagement" David felt like hitting him, but, amazingly, kept his cool. he thought, an evil grin crossing his face. David walked over to Gillian and told her (and Clyde) what he had been told. Gillian was very angry, very very angry. "He WHAT!?!?" she screamed. "He was the one who told the press" David said, pleased at her reaction. "I'll kill him!!!!" Gillian said through gritted teeth. David smiled at this comment. "Gillian, that ain't wise!" David said, trying to conceal his joy at the thought of Franz being beaten up again. He also said it as an attempt to help Clyde, who was trying to restrain his wife, but failing in his attempt. "Huh? Shut up Duchovny! You got us into this mess. I mean, you always have to win in an arguement or bet, or what ever!!!" "I do not always have to win!!" he argued back. "See! Now get out of my way!" "Okay, I'm gonna go look for my wife" David said, as Gillian stormed up to Franz. Gillian stormed over to Franz and politely tapped him on the shoulder. He turned to see a smiling, calm Gillian Anderson. Then he saw her fist. He felt her fist. Then he felt the cold floor and blood on his lip. A car horn blew outside. Gillian picked up her hand-all bag and calmly walked out. Clyde looked at her open-mouthed. "You coming or what?" Gillian snapped. The two scared men vigoriously nodded their heads, fumbled with the luggage and ran into the car. "Red-heads are so scary" David whispered, helping Clyde with his luggage. "Yeah, well, Gillian can be scary anytime" Clyde said to David as they loaded their cases into the car. "I heard that!" Gillian snapped as she helped Piper into the vehicle. The men shut up. Clyde nervously got into the car and didn't breathe a word for the rest of the journey. "Oh, and David? Next year, *I* make the bets!" Gillian shouted to him from the car window. David nodded reluctantly. The car drove off. David stood at the entrance to the lobby of the hotel, looking lost and forlorn. He looked down at Blue who looked equally confused, for a dog. She looked at her master and just wagged her tail. But David had a feeling that something was still amiss. He realised for the third time that morning that Tea was still missing....where could she be? he realised, running back into the hotel. --------------------------------------------------------------------X ----------X THE END ----------X --------------------------------------------------------------------X What did you think? All comments to Trustyone@thewebbs.demon.co.uk Well what do ya think?!? P.S.S.S. If anyone mentioned in this story read this......sorry! Hey, it's only make believe, for God's sake!!!!!!!!!!! Don't sue.....PUR-LEEZE!!!!!! (down on hands and knees). P.S.S.S.S. Not intended to hurt, mock, or insult anyone appearing in this story. Okay? P.S.S.S.S.S. I am faintly sure that these people aren't that wierd and this story came from the murky depths of my own twisted mind.