From: "David Hearne" Date: Wed, 5 Jul 2000 16:55:19 -0400 Subject: xfc: Gone to Florida (1 of 21) -- He's Got Rhythm Source: xfc TITLE: GONE TO FLORIDA (1 of 21) AUTHOR: DAVID HEARNE CLASSIFICATION: XH RATING: R ARCHIVE: Yes. Send feedback to ottercrk@sover.net Website is located at http://members.dencity.com/hearne AUTHOR'S NOTE: For some reason, I'm hearing Whitesnake's "Here I Go Again" in my head. That's probably not a good sign. I don't know if this is a signal I'm emerging from retirement or if I'm just putting the finishing touches on it. I do intend this as the final story in the "Final" series. I'm also planning to post a sequel to "The Seventh Age" as well as musing over a post-"Requiem" story that will attempt to "tie everything up" like "Strangers and Pilgrims" tried to do. (God save my soul.) All that aside, here's "Gone to Florida." Once again, I thank Laurie Haynes for editing it. I also would like to thank Alfred Metraux whose "Voodoo in Haiti" provided me with insights. Any misrepresentations of voodoo here are strictly my own bloody fault. I would also like to acknowledge Carl Hiassen. The "epilogue" idea for the previous two stories was taken straight from his own funny books. I thought it would be appropriate to set the final story in his home turf of Florida. Okay, then... XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX TABLE OF CONTENTS 1. HE'S GOT RHYTHM 2. SUGAR, SUGAR 3. FAMILIAR FACES 4. TALE OF AN ENGLISH BASTARD 5. EVERYBODY GOES TO BUJU'S 6. ANOTHER FAMILIAR FACE 7. BLOOD ON THE FLOOR, VOICES IN THE HEAD 8. THE BLUES OF OSCAR HALL 9. LOVE IS IN THE AIR 10. BLIMEY, THAT HURTS! 11. A LITTLE WISDOM FROM YOUR ELDERS 12. BAKKKA 13. THE NEW DRUMMER 14. DO YOUR DUTY 15. FOUND ONE, LOST THREE 16. LET'S GET IT ON 17. BLIMEY, THAT HURTS AGAIN! 18. ATTACK OF THE FAIRY GODMOTHERS 19. HERE'S THE TORCH, DON'T PISS ON THE FLAMES 20. IT'S DIVINE INTERVENTION, MON 21. THE LOOSE ENDS OF LOVE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX PART ONE HE'S GOT RHYTHM XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Councilman Neil Downard was becoming quite the tourist attraction. Passers-by and residents of the Sparkle Beach Hotel were crowding onto the sidewalk and staring wide-eyed at the councilman. He looked back at them with eyes also wide but blank and unreceptive. If he could see them, though, it would have been upside down, considering that the upper-half of his body was sticking out a window with his back resting on the sill. However, considering that a large red triangle of glass was jutting through his torso, what he could have seen was a moot point. Visitors staying at the Sparkle Beach Hotel were greeted with this sight as they stepped out into the hot sun. Forgetting about the beaches and the souvenir shops, they focused on the councilman dangling from a second-story window of their hotel. They were joined by other tourists who joined them in their whispering and mutterings. Then they beheld a new sight almost as exotic to their eyes as the skewered councilman. A very large and fat man stepped up to the window; a very large and fat *Cuban*. He was dressed in a wrinkled grey jacket and pants, a white shirt with many unremovable stains, a loosened red tie and a hat that must have been sat on a few times. A cigar jutted from his mouth and you could smell its heady odor from the sidewalk. The face around the cigar belonged to a man in his fifties and he wasn't smiling. He regarded the people below him as the sun baked their puffy flesh. When he heard a camera click, he proclaimed with his cigar between his teeth, "What the hell is with you people? Don't they have dead bodies up in Hairy Ass, Michigan or Inbred, Missouri or wherever you come from?" This prompted a gasp from the onlookers and a woman standing close to the Cuban. "Detective Carranza!" the woman cried out. Tomas Carranza and his cigar turned to Frances Sheen, a member of her city's Board of Tourism. "Those people are visitors to our city!" she told him. "Show them some courtesy!" The cigar tilted up in Carranza's mouth. Then he removed it, turned back to window and said, "Welcome to fucking Miami. Now, scram, you gringo jerk-offs." The scowl on the Cuban's face had yanked many a confession out of a suspect. It was no less effective in making the crowd disperse. Mrs. Sheen trembled, ready to rip out Carranza's throat with her teeth. Detective Max Miles stepped between them. Miles was Carranza's partner and any other two men could not have had a more differing appearance. The clothes on Miles were always clean and presentable. The body in them was more than presentable. When the handsome, blonde-haired and broad-shouldered man smiled, he could warm the hearts of most women (and some men), not to mention make their underwear tingle. "Please, Mrs. Sheen," Miles said. "It's best that we don't have a crowd of tourists gawking at the crime scene. Besides, this isn't something you want to bring attention to, is it?" He smiled. Mrs. Sheen -- a woman who had been married for ten years -- felt her pelvis loosen. "I...I guess I can understand that," she stammered. "But wouldn't it be best to...uh...remove the body from sight?" "Well, that will be up to the forensics team and they can't do that until they have finished documenting the scene. They're working as fast as they can, though. Just another minute and Mr. Downard will be out of sight." Mrs. Sheen sighed with relief. "Thank you, Detective Miles." She looked over his shoulder at Carranza. "It's nice to see some members of the Miami Police Department have remembered their manners." She turned away. Carranza started to say something, but Miles lifted up a finger in his direction. Carranza shrugged and stuck the cigar back into his mouth. "As ever, I am ying to your yang, Tomas," Miles observed. "Or is that yang to your ying?" "I'm trying to care." Carranza waved a hand at Downard's body. "Look at this, won't you?" "I see it." "The first one was weird enough. But now we've got *two* of them." "Is it the same as Kidder's death?" Carranza made a circle in the air with his hand, indicating the entirety of a dining room where small tables with white tablecloths had been arranged in front of a long table. A considerable amount of damage had been done in this room starting with the smashed podium and bent microphone in the center of the long table. It led in a trail of shattered plates, broken chairs and thick drops of blood to the window. Policemen and forensic specialists were busy with their own little jobs, collecting evidence or interviewing the stricken people gathered in one corner. "The damn thing happened in front of some of Miami's finest businessmen," Carranza informed Miles. He pointed a huge finger at the group of frightened people. "The esteemed councilman was making a speech about the importance of community or some kind of mule crap when he started dancing. *Dancing*. He did the goddamned Macarena all over the room. They tried to hold him down, but he shook them off like a big old bull. It only stopped when he ran into the window here." "The Macarena, huh?" "Actually, it might have been a yanvalou." Both Miles and Carranza blinked, then turned to the voice addressing them. They both saw a tall, brown-haired man striding past the tables towards them. Just a step behind him was a petite woman with red hair. She looked a little uncomfortable as they got closer to the two detectives. "Or a banda. Or a dahomey-z-epaules." The man stopped before the detectives and the impaled corpse. "Of course, the Macarena would have been even scarier." "At the risk of sounding obvious," Carranza said. "but who the fuck are you?" Without blinking an eye, the man pulled out a badge with the letters 'FBI' printed on it. "I'm Agent Fox Mulder. This is Agent Dana Scully. We've come to offer our assistance in this case." Mulder looked at the body. "Looks like we arrived in time for the second act." As Mulder studied the body, Max Miles studied him. He took in Mulder's full sensual lips, intense hazel eyes and his slim yet muscular frame. He also took note of Mulder's prominent nose which actually served to accentuate his handsome features. Then he looked at Scully. Bright red hair, blue eyes like light through an icicle, slender and well-proportioned body, smooth skin... He liked what he saw. In both of them. Carranza missed the smile forming on his partner's face. He was concentrating on Mulder. "Look, Agent, I'm sure it's a lot of fun to just walk into a place and confuse the hell out of people, but would you mind explaining..." "We came here to look into the death of Councilwoman Jessica Kidder. When we arrived in town, we were informed that the detectives investigating that death had received word of a similar fatality." "And just what interested you about the first death?" "Witnesses described her as 'dancing' and shouting strange words as she stepped into the street and got hit by a car." "That was pretty strange, huh, Tomas?" Miles interjected. Carranza looked at Miles, his face saying "Who asked for your two goddamned pennies?" "Now, we have a second death," Mulder continued. "Just like Kidder, Downard was a member of the Miami City Council as well as the Zoning Commission. Like Kidder, Downard 'danced' his way into harm." "That doesn't explain why the F...B...I is here," Carranza said. The way he spoke "FBI" suggested he thought they stood for "Fucking Bullshit Ingestors" which -- oddly enough -- he often believed. "We have come to offer an explanation for these deaths." Carranza folded his arms over his chest. "Let's hear it." Mulder opened his mouth and said, "It sounds like a trance brought about by possession from a loa -- a spirit invoked in voodoo ceremonies." Carranza stared at the FBI agent with no expression. A puff of smoke burst from his mouth. "Voodoo?" Miles said. "During voodoo ceremonies, participants are often overcome with a need to dance. The banda and yanvalou are two examples of this kind of dancing. However..." Mulder indicated the councilman's body. "...I have never heard of one that ended up like this." Carranza turned his head to Miles. The slowness of the action and the cigar in his mouth made his head look like a tank turret. Miles also turned to his partner. Unlike Carranza, he had an amused smile on his face. (Of course, Miles was almost always smiling while Carranza just tended to frown.) Carranza shifted his head, re-aiming his cigar at Mulder. "Well," he said. "Strap a gerbil to my butt and call me Richard Gere." That's when Scully spoke up for the first time. Her voice managed to sound forced and calm at the same time. "For the moment, Agent Mulder's theory remains just that -- a theory. However, if you can suggest one that's more logical and suitable for this case, we would be more than grateful to hear it." The dumbfounded look on Carranza's face almost made Miles burst out laughing. Mulder and Scully were looking more and more interesting. Any woman who could take the air out of Tomas Carranza was worth getting to know better. As for Mulder, he was obviously a bit weird, but weird was good. Weird could mean...playful. Curious. Likes to experiment. "Well, I can't speak for my partner..." Miles said. You gonna fucking do it anyway, Carranza thought. "...but I admit these deaths are a real puzzle for me. At this point, I am willing to consider anything." "That's all we're asking," Mulder said. "I like to keep myself open to new experiences. Just as I'm sure you two do." Miles smiled. Then Mulder smiled. And Scully smiled. Carranza looked at all these smiles. He noted something familiar in Carranza's expression and rolled his eyes. "How about you, Detective Carranza?" Mulder asked. Carranza took out his cigar and waved it in his hand. "Sure, why the hell not? Let's have a party." "Yes," Miles said, looking Mulder and Scully over. "Let's." "Okay, then," Mulder said. "First of all, we have to start by ruling out any other possibilities. Agent Scully is a licensed medical examiner. She can do an autopsy on the body and check for..." The body in question lifted up his head and screamed. Every conversation and every movement in that room stopped cold. The only things that moved were a few bowels which expelled brown chunks into some unfortunate pants. The policemen, the forensic team, the businessmen in the corner, Mrs. Sheen, Miles, Carranza, Mulder and Scully stayed stuck to their positions as they listened to Councilman Downard scream. "AGWE TAROYO, KOTE U YE! AGWE TAROYO, KOTO U YE! AGWE TAROYO..." During this, he thrashed his arms and kicked out with his legs. His eyes were staring at a far corner of the room, his madness giving him the sight to see a person invisible to others. It took a few seconds for Scully to get out of shock and her physician instincts to kick in. "We need a medical team here now!" she shouted as she grabbed onto one of the trembling legs. The men beside her were stirred from their own fear, stepping forward to help her. Unfortunately, Downard's thrashings served to press his body harder against the long glass shard through him. Like a saw, the glass cut new inches of space into the flesh still intact. The weight of Downard's body outside the window helped to tear the cut even further. Guts split open. Bones were snapped. Downard let out one more cry of "AGWE..." before his body separated in two. The top half dropped from the window. A policeman who was too horrified to move served as landing pad for the plummeting half-Downard. As for the bottom half, most of it thumped to the dining room's floor. Scully held onto its leg for a second longer, then let go. The room became silent. Then Carranza looked across the room to one particularly ashen face. "Oh, Mrs. Sheen," he said. "the body is no longer hanging out the window." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Oscar Hall looked out the vast window making up one wall of his beautifully decorated office and was bored, bored, bored. The downtown area of Miami stretched out before him like toy blocks, but he felt no desire to play. He thought about what was scheduled for tonight. Oh, yes, another dinner function. Undoubtedly, it would be attended by millionaires, powerful men of government and celebrities. Undoubtedly, Oscar would be the center of attention. Undoubtedly, he would leave with many people in his favor and a beautiful woman to take to his bed. Oscar sighed and pressed his head against the window. The intercom on a desk older than some cities gave him a buzz, then the voice of his astoundingly efficient secretary (skilled in everything from stenography to coffee making to the occasional blow job) could be heard. "Mr. Hall, Mr. Rogers is here to see you." Oh, Lord, he thought. Just what I need. He waited a few seconds, then said, "Send him in." A thoroughly nondescript man entered the office. Mr. Rogers was so subdued in his manner that it was easy to overlook him -- an unwise thing to do. "Good afternoon, Mr. Hall," he said, his voice as polite as ever. "I'm afraid I have some unpleasant business to bring up." "That so?" Oscar replied as he slumped into a chair. "Yes, sir. Apparently, Ass-Kickers, Inc. have hired a zobop." Oscar sat up a little straighter in his chair. This was a little more interesting than usual. "Really? I didn't think Morgan had that kind of imagination." "Not him, sir. He has recently acquired a new partner who is a little more...imaginative, as you say." "Hm. So, what kind of damage do you think they're planning?" "They've already done it, sir. Downard and Kidder are dead." "Who?" Mr. Rogers cleared his throat ever-so-slightly. "They were our key members on the Zoning Commission, sir. With their help, we were sure to acquire the desired property." "Ah. Well, then, we just have to make sure their replacements are..." "For the love of God's own dick, son, would you get your head out of your fucking ass?" Mr. Rogers turned around and faced the old man who was now in the office. Oscar had to hand it to Rogers. Very few men could look Oscar's father in the eye and not flinch, especially when he suddenly appeared behind you. Yet Mr. Rogers regarded the old man as if he had been there all the time (which was probably true.) However, Oscar wondered if Mr. Rogers would have been able to maintain his aplomb if he knew who Oscar's father really was. Then, again, maybe Mr. Rogers did know the old man's identity. Truthfully, it wasn't all that surprising. "Don't you think that asshole Morgan hasn't thrown a few hints to the rest of the Commission? You know, watch it or you'll be doing the watusi right through a goddamn window?" "Your father is correct, sir," Mr. Rogers said. "Of course, I'm fucking correct! Now, why is it that your damn real estate broker sees the problem and all you can see is the inside of your own shit-covered rectum?" Oscar said nothing. He just looked back at his father with a flat expression. It was a bit discomforting to see them as father and son. The son wore his clothes with the slick panache of a model. Loose strands of cloth hung from the father's brown suit and pants. Oscar's face was fresh and handsome. His father's skin looked like a discarded burger wrapper and blue veins ran all over protruding bones. Oscar's voice was pleasant to listen to. His father had a voice to scare away little children. Oscar was built like a basketball player. The father leaned upon a dented cane, looking ready to fall over at the slightest nudge. Then you saw the look in the old man's eyes and realized that touching this man in any way would be a bad, horrible, godawful idea. He had an expression as cold as a polar bear's ass and mean as a Nazi pit bull. There was also the peculiar yet unmistakable feeling that after he got done hurting you, you would wish some other sperm had made it to your mother's egg. Oscar had learned how not to squirm in the face of his father. Sometimes, it was hard. With his voice still calm, Mr. Rogers said, "In any case...we should take measures against the zobop." The old man smacked the flat end of his cane once on the floor. "Son-of-an-ass-licking-bitch, Mr. Rogers, haven't you learned the rules yet? If it was possible for me to intervene, don't you think I would have pulled Morgan's brains out his fucking ears?" "That's not what I meant, sir." "Well, what the fuck did you mean?" "I was referring to an initiative on my own part." "Then that what's you should have said, goddammit!" Mr. Rogers resisted clearing his throat. "Yes, sir." "Whatever that needs to be done, do it and do it as soon as fucking possible! Now get your faggot ass out of here!" With one last "yes, sir," Mr. Rogers left the office. "Voodoo! Mother-father-brother-sister-fucking voodoo! I can't believe it!" "I'm sure Mr. Rogers will take care of everything," Oscar said in a casual voice. The old man narrowed his eyes at his son, reclining with such a lazy air in his chair. "You're just shitting concern for this situation, aren't you?" "I am concerned. But I don't see any point in getting all worked up..." Oscar's father lifted up his cane, reached over the desk and prodded Oscar in the chest. "You...don't...see...any... fucking...point?" he growled, poking Oscar on each word. The younger man just sat there and took it, giving his father the blankest expression he could. The cane rose up to press under Oscar's chin. "We are looking at the culmination of centuries and centuries of work," the old man continued. "This is what I've been waiting for, goddammit. This is the fulfillment of prophecy. And now...now it's all getting fucked up by some shit-eating nigger magic. You expect me to stay calm while..." The intercom buzzed. "Excuse me," the secretary said. "but I have a call..." "Don't interrupt our father-son bonding!" the old man screeched at the intercom. Unflappable, the secretary said, "It's a call for your father, Mr. Hall. From Miss Hutchinson. She's waiting with her lawyer." The cane's point slipped down to the floor. The rage that threatened to explode the old man's head simmered down into weariness. In that moment, he looked like nothing more than an old man. "Ah, hell, Oscar," he said, "why couldn't I have picked some other hole on that woman to stick myself into?" XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX TITLE: GONE TO FLORIDA (2 of 21) AUTHOR: DAVID HEARNE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX PART TWO SUGAR, SUGAR XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Who in their right fucking mind would eat a honey-glazed ham? Audrey Bjorg wondered. She considered this mystery as she watched the other diners at the table eat their lunch. As they carved up their separate cuts of ham and chewed on them, Audrey tried not to think about the appalling taste of sweetened meat and that slick gunk which sticks to your lips after every bite. "Are you sure you're not hungry?" an old mulatto in a patched shirt asked. Audrey put on her best smile and said, "No, thank you. I'm fine with just a glass of water." "Oh, sweetie pie!" one of the other diners called out to a passing waiter. It was an endearment made enticing by the fact that the diner was a beautiful woman. The waiter was stopped like a mouse caught by a cat. "Would you please get us a refill?" the woman said, holding up an empty pitcher. The hand holding the pitcher was decorated with many rings. Rubies and diamonds glittered on her fingers just like the pearls around her neck, the golden earrings hanging from her ears and the bracelets around her ankles. The cost of those items along with her silk dress probably exceeded the gross national product of Ireland. On another woman, such a display would have looked wasteful but disgust turned to devotion when her green eyes sparkled in your direction. "Of...of course, ma'am," the waiter said, trembling as he took the cup. He found nothing odd in that this bunch had gone through two pitchers of soda already. Nor did he pay attention to the white residue at the bottom of the empty pitcher or the empty sugar packets on the table. The woman gave the waiter a sly wink. The waiter rushed to the kitchen, trying to cover up his erection with the pitcher. The woman turned back to her plate. "So," she commented as she speared another piece of ham with her fork. "So, so, so...I hear you are having a little trouble with a loa." Audrey held back an angry reply. Instead, she said, "Yes. We are. That's what I already told you." "Apparently, it's Oscar Hall who is having the real trouble," the old mulatto observed. "But it's my group that's still caught in the middle. Originally, we had been hoping that Hall Enterprises and Ass-Kickers, Inc. would cancel each other out. However, if one of them gets an edge..." "Are you sure you don't want a bite?" the woman said, sticking out a fork with a piece of glossy, slimy meat on it. "Uh, I'm sure. Either way, my side loses the bay. And we are not eager to have Constantine Morgan set up shop there." "But it would be even more dangerous for Hall to set up there, wouldn't it?" the old man said. "Yes. It would. But even if Morgan won, Hall and his father would still find a way to..." "Are you sure you don't want a taste?" the woman asked. "I said...I'm sure." Audrey paused. "What was I saying?" "You were saying that Hall might find a way to do something," the old mulatto reminded her. "Yes. The main thing is that Jeremiah Bay would be lost, whether Morgan or Hall gets it. So, I've come here to ask you..." "It's really quite tasty. Why don't you have one quick..." "I don't want to taste the damn thing!" Audrey shouted, banging her fists on the table. It became silent as everybody else looked at Audrey, including the fourth person at the table. His apparent age was in his mid-thirties. Like the woman and the old man, he was a light-skinned mulatto. He wore a white naval officer's uniform and white gloves separated his skin from his utensils. His sea-green eyes stared at Audrey until she looked down at the table. During this silence, the waiter arrived with a pitcher full of soda and ice. The woman gave him a perfunctory wink. It was enough to send him into the employees bathroom to whack off like a monkey in heat. In a gentle voice, the old mulatto said, "You are asking us to directly intervene. To stop this loa." Audrey lifted her head up. "Yes. That's actually what I'm asking." "I'm afraid we cannot do that." "And...why not?" "Because it works differently on this side. We come when we are summoned." "Well, hell, we have something like that on our side, too. It's called prayer." "Yes, but you also have the option of intervention if it's deemed absolutely necessary. We have no such option." Audrey looked over the three other faces. "I see. So, I came here for nothing." "Now, don't you go..." Audrey's chair screeched as it was pushed back. She stood up and marched towards the restaurant's exit. As she walked there, she passed by a piano player who was plunking out a Celine Dion tune. She gave the piano a look and its player was shocked to hear five of his piano strings snap at once. "...off mad." The old mulatto looked at his two dining companions. "Perhaps, we deserved that." "Maybe," the woman said. "But we are bound by the rules." For the first time, the man in the naval uniform spoke. "Are we sure of that?" The old mulatto and the woman blinked in surprise. "Well...yes," the old man said. "Aren't we?" "Let's make sure. Because...as they say here in America...we all have to duck when the shit hits the fan." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX "That," Carranza said, jabbing one of his meaty fingers onto a map. "is the fucking point of contention." "Jeremiah Bay," Mulder read aloud. He was looking at the map spread out on Carranza's desk at Miami Police Headquarters. Miles was with them. Carranza's partner was standing close to Mulder, every once and while looking at his full lips. "It is probably the last bit of property in Florida that doesn't have a hotel, a stadium, a condo or a goddamned amusement park built on it," Carranza said in disgust. "In fact, it's pretty weird that none of those cock-sucking developers have noticed it until now." "So who has noticed it?" "At first, it was Hall Enterprises," Miles said. Oh, Lord, to feel those lips around my long john, he thought. "Oscar Hall?" Mulder said. "You know about him?" "Just that he is one of the fastest rising businessmen in America, if not the world. He's involved in a wide portfolio of interests from real estate to entertainment to the farming industry." "Shit, you're pretty knowledgeable, aren't you, Mulder?" Carranza said. "Well..." "You must have a helluva lot of free time." Mulder cleared his throat. Miles imagined that throat swallowing another white serving from Max Miles' Sausage of Wonder. It was apparent Mulder did have a lot of free time and it was more likely spent with his hand than with another warm body. It would make him all the more frisky when the time came. So to speak. "Yeah, Oscar Hall wants Jeremiah Bay," Carranza said. "The funny thing is that no one is quite sure why he wants it. He's only given a lot of vague crap about 'development.' But if Oscar Hall wants something, he's got the moolah and the brass ones to get it." "But someone is in his way." "Two someones, actually. The first is Constantine Morgan, some bastard out of England. We know what he wants to do with it." "And that is...?" "The Dome of Blood." "Huh?" "It's some big arena for extreme combat tournaments. You know, that sport where a lot of big schmucks go around knocking the shit out of each other in a big cage?" "I've heard of it. I thought that went out with the mid- nineties." "Well, I guess this Morgan asshole is staging a comeback for it. Of course, you can't go up against the likes of Oscar Hall alone. That's why he's in cahoots with November Sun, one of our local gangsters." "November Sun? What is he, a Native American?" "Nope. He's pure uncut honky." Carranza took a cigar out of his desk and lit it up despite the "NO SMOKING" sign seen by all. "If you meet this guy, don't underestimate him. He comes across as a flake but he's as deadly as an alligator whacked on jalapeno peppers." "So, these are the two someones in Hall's way." Miles spoke up. He wasn't going to let Carranza dominate the conversation with Mulder. "Actually, the other someones are the Seniors." "Okay. I'll bite..." So do I, Miles thought. "Who are the Seniors?" Miles moved until he was an few inches within Mulder. If Mulder didn't notice how close Miles was, Carranza did and he shook his head in amazement. "The Seniors are a group of old people who have been using Jeremiah Bay for years." "Oh, so they're the owners." "No. Not in a legal sense. They feel that they have a moral right to it." "A moral right?" Miles shrugged. "They've been using it for years without complaints from anybody. They say that makes it theirs." "The fucking geezers in Florida think they own the state," Carranza grumbled. "Ah, come on, Tomas," Miles said. "Wouldn't it be better if they owned instead of Morgan? And you know all Hall is going to just build another damn condo." "That doesn't give people the fucking right to just..." "Uh, let's stay on track here," Mulder interjected. Oh, he likes to take charge, does he? Miles thought. "Of course. In any case, we have three groups competing for the same chunk of land." "And now it's shifting towards...?" "Ass-Kickers, Inc. Downard and Kidder were the front guard for Hall Enterprises on the Zoning Commission. Now with them gone..." "I see." Mulder rubbed his lower lip (that thick, sensual, very kissable lower lip). "So you're thinking that Morgan had something to do with these deaths?" Carranza said. "'Cause from where I'm sitting..." "You can't get up," Miles said. As Carranza scowled at his partner, Mulder said, "Actually, I was wondering about November Sun. When you said he was a flake, what did you mean?" "Meaning he's into all that mystic shit. You know, healing yourself by sticking a crystal up your ass or something." "Does his interests include voodoo?" Miles and Carranza looked at each other, then back at Mulder. "We don't know," Miles said. "Well, we should look into that. And we should look into the Seniors, too." "Oh, those people are harmless." "There's no such thing as a harmless old person," Carranza growled. "And I'm fifty." "Well, I just want to cover our bases." Miles directed another one of his wonderful smiles at Mulder. "I've been covering the bases all my life." Carranza coughed on a mouthful of cigar smoke. Mulder wondered if he had missed some inside reference, but he said, "Okay, then. You know, I'm glad we're cooperating on this. Too often when the FBI and the local police meet, the whole thing turns into a pissing match." "I, for one, will keep my zipper up." Miles paused. "For now, anyway." Carranza coughed again. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX "What happened?" "Are they going to help?" "What did they say?" "Tell us, tell us..." "Have you seen my watch?" These questions and these voices assaulted Audrey the moment she stepped into the front hall of the Golden Gate Apartment Building. The voices belonged to a dozen elderly men and women. It wasn't until she shouted "PIPE DOWN, WILL YOU?" that they became quiet. "Yes, I did talk with them," she said. "Their answer was -- no." "No?!" "The nerve of them!" "We oughtta take 'em to court!" "This country just ain't what it used to be." "I saw my watch right there yesterday..." "People, people!" Audrey called out. "Let's just settle down, okay?" "Well, what can we do, Audrey?" said an old man wearing long dark socks with sneakers. "I'm not sure, Theon. But...here's a possibility we should be considering. Why not let Morgan take Jeremiah Bay?" She lifted a finger to silence any protest. "Must I remind you of the alternative?" "But what Morgan wants to build there..." Dova said, trembling in her pink rose dress. "It's just...well, it's just sinful!" "And we wouldn't get to use the beach anymore!" Ledagam declared as he shook his fist in the air. "It'll be full of young hoodlums and riffraff!" "Well, you wouldn't have this problem if you had legally owned Jeremiah Bay in the first place," Audrey shot back. "It was given to us by Divine Proclamation, goddammit!" "Yes, but we're in Florida. Not Heaven. And in Florida, property law is the First Commandment. Haven't you figured that out by now?" The old people shuffled on their feet and looked away except for the old man who sat in a corner with his hands pressed together under his chin. "So what do you recommend now?" Ru asked in a solemn voice. "I recommend that we prioritize. And I think our first priority should be keeping Oscar Hall from getting Jeremiah Bay. If necessary, we may have to throw our lot in with Morgan." This suggestion caused silence for a few moments, then Ru said, "They're evil men -- that Morgan and his partner." "I know. But Oscar Hall represents something even worse." "Maybe if we...maybe if we told Morgan who Oscar Hall is," Theon said. "And who we are." "You know that's against the rules," Audrey sighed. "You guys decided to settle here. You have to play the same game as everybody else." "All right," Ru said. "You do what you feel is best. However...it's quite possible that Morgan could be co-opted by Hall. It wouldn't take much to appeal to his greed." "Then I'll have to appeal to something stronger." "And that is?" "I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking like it's the end of the world." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX TITLE: GONE TO FLORIDA (3 of 21) AUTHOR: DAVID HEARNE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX PART THREE FAMILIAR FACES XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Agent Scully was contemplating the two halves of Councilman Downnard when Detective Miles walked into the police department morgue. She turned and nodded to the detective as she finished speaking her report into a tiny tape recorder. "...in conclusion, the cause of the victim's fit remains unknown." She turned off the recorder. "Zatso?" Miles said. Scully nodded. "Yes. Zat is so." "Hmmm," Miles said as he looked her over from head to toe. He found himself wondering just how strong she was. She had a small, petite body but she moved with an easy grace. She also had concentration in her pretty blue eyes. There was also the possible factor of when the last time was she had a good fuck. If it had been suitably long ago, then she would be a bomb of sexual energy ready to be dropped into his lap. "I did not find anything to indicate a toxin which could induce the kind of violent fit Downard experienced..." "Uh-huh," Miles commented as he moved within a foot of Scully. "...nor could I find any evidence of a neurological disease that might have induced such behavior." "Yeah." That sweet red hair, Miles thought. I want to run my hands through it or feel it brush against my crotch. "This correlates with the autopsy done on Councilwoman Kidder. Which leaves back on square one." "Guess so." Scully noticed just how close Miles to her and the little smile on her face. She pushed aside a suspicion and asked where Agent Mulder was. "He's gone with my partner to go talk with a possible suspect. He suggested that we do the same with another one. Then he wants to meet up here." He held out a note with a name and an address written on it. Scully stepped closer to him so she could read it. "Who is this?" she asked. Oh, to feel those breasts rub against me as my cock makes its way into her wet, warm, succulent pussy... "Mulder says he's some local expert on voodoo." "I see." "You sound less than enthused, Agent Scully." Scully smiled, just a little bit. However, on that usually solemn face, it was like a firework against a dark sky. I could make you grin ear-to-ear, Miles thought. I betcha. "I am not inclined to believe in these things as readily as Mulder," Scully said. "Especially not without some quantifiable evidence." "Well, we have no evidence of any kind indicating anything." "Which...is why it's probably best to follow Mulder's lead on this matter. In any case, I'll tell the morgue to put the remains away and then we'll..." "You know what, Agent Scully?" "What?" "You're the first person I've met who can make an autopsy outfit look fashionable." Through the goggles perched on her nose, Scully looked down at her white button coat and then back up at Miles. "Uh...thank you." "Must be one of the perks of Agent Mulder's job to be around you so much." The smile on Scully's face widened. And why shouldn't she have smiled? This was a good-looking man paying her a compliment. "Thank you again, Detective Miles." "As it must be one of the perks for you to be around him so much." With the subtext missing her by a mile, Scully said, "Oh, I wouldn't go that far." They both laughed. (For the record, this was not the first time Miles had made sexual innuendo in a morgue. In fact, he had once consummated a whole relationship in one. Those cold slabs can be warmed up surprisingly quick.) "It's nice to see we've gotten off on the right foot here," Miles observed. "Sometimes, it's hard for local police and the FBI to cooperate." "Well, I'm sure my partner and your partner are also cooperating to the fullest extent," Scully replied. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX "You're a fucking space-case, you know that, Mulder?" Mulder was willing to debate whether he or Tomas Carranza was the actual space-case. However, he didn't want to anger the detective any more than necessary. Carranza had the steering wheel of a departmental car in his humongous hands and he liked to spin it as if he was playing roulette. He charged the automobile into traffic as if he was going into battle. It seemed to be a personal offense against him to actually have other cars on the road. He whipped around them, jumping from one lane to next, making sudden turns and engaging in heated conversations through the dialect of horn blasts. Mulder clutched his seat as tightly as he kept his mouth clamped shut. "I mean, sure, this case is as weird as a shit salad, but where do you get off saying that the whole thing -- HEY, ASSHOLE, QUIT USING YOUR HAND TO JERK OFF AND PUT IT ON THE WHEEL!! -- how can you just come in and say 'voodoo?' Huh? I mean, what kind of evidence do you -- THE LIGHT IS GREEN, BITCH! QUIT LOOKING AT YOUR FUCKING HAIR AND MOVE! -- what kind of evidence do you have to really support your hypothesis? Tell me that." "Agwe." "What?" "Agwe," Mulder repeated through grinding teeth. "The loa who commands the sea." "What the fuck is a loa?" "It means 'spirit' or 'god.' The voodoo religion is based on the worship of a wide pantheon of loas. When Downard was...in his little fix, he was screaming out the first line of a prayer used by sailors in time of danger. 'Maitre Agwe, where are you?'" "Downard was a damn Councilman, not a sailor." "Nor was he Haitian. And I doubt he practiced voodoo. However, I think that," Carranza made a sharp turn which made Mulder queasy in the stomach, "in his situation, he knew the cause of his situation. And on some instinctual level, he called out to a powerful loa." "His situation was that he was fucking dead. At least, he was dead when we got there." "What we heard was the cry of his soul. It hadn't left the body yet." Carranza paused for a moment, then turned to Mulder. "That has to be just about the most ass-backwards kind of reasoning I've ever..." "Look out!" Mulder warned in a voice much higher pitched than he preferred. Carranza slammed on the brake just to keep his bumper from becoming unnaturally entwined with a car driven by a shocked elderly couple. "GODDAMN GEEZERS! I OUGHTTA RIP UP YOUR LICENSE, YOU OLD SHITS!" Never had Mulder wanted so much a car trip to end. He didn't care if they were going to see the devil himself. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX The Highest Circle awaited for his entrance. He could feel it beckoning him, promising wisdom and the completion of his inner soul. This world was nothing but a veil to pulled aside; a blindfold between him and spiritual Nirvana. He had but to reach out and... "Boss, there's someone to see you." "Davey, what have I told you about coming in here while I'm meditating?" Davey Whistler gulped and said, "You said...uh..." "What did I say?" "You said...'don't.'" "It disrupts my inner consciousness. And you know what happens when that is disrupted, don't you?" Davey gulped again. "You...you hurt people, boss." "Only if you consider slicing off a man's nose and sewing it to his forehead to be hurting a person. I prefer to think of it as purging myself of negative energy." "Sure, boss. Of course." "Now...since you have interrupted my meditation...I assume that it must be extremely important." "Um...there's, uh, a couple of cops here to see you." "Hmmm. I see." November Sun stood up from the rug and blew out the candles around his shrine to the Highest Circle. Then he turned to Davey and said, "Let us greet them." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Okay, he had flirted with her. That was not unexpected. A few men over the years had actually gone so far as to suggest she was an attractive woman. There was no reason to start squawking about professional behavior and boundaries. If Detective Miles attempted to go beyond mere flirting, she would politely yet unambiguously decline to... Wait. Did she want to do that? As Miles drove the two of them to their destination, she kept looking at him. The detective had the wholesome, blond- haired looks of a poster boy for army recruitment. Then he would smile like a lion liking his chops. Even then, though, there was nothing nasty in his face. It was more like "Hello, little schoolgirl, can I come home with you?" And surely Agent Dana Scully who had been long abstaining from certain kinds of pork like a Muslim was entitled to imagine what playtime would be like with the handsome detective from Miami. Still, first things first and numero uno was business at hand. (Speaking of which, Miles sure had nice ones -- strong, lengthy and connected to muscular arms...) Scully and Miles were going to look into the Seniors -- the old folks who were claiming Jeremiah Bay as their own. That meant talking to their lawyer and official representative. The office of Audrey Borg was located in one of the cheapest buildings of Miami. She shared the same floor with Wet 'n Hot Video Productions and Matarozzi Loans ("Quick, easy and discreet.") Just before Miles knocked on the door, a voice screamed from behind it. "You tell the councilman that if he doesn't return my calls, then I'm arranging a press conference so I can tell the world he thinks old people ought to sleep in their own shit and fight with the dogs over scraps of meat!" Miles and Scully looked at each other. He gave her another great smile --one that invited her to enjoy a joke. She smiled back. Dammit, she did. Then Miles knocked. "Come in!" the voice barked. Audrey Borg was digging through one of the jagged piles of documents on her desk, searching in vain for some necessary paper. I ought to be yelling at my secretary, she thought. Unfortunately, that's me. The whole cramped office displayed her haphazard sense of order. All around her were files waiting for their proper places, books of law without shelves, discarded wrappings for sandwiches. A voice said, "Hello. I'm Detective Miles." She looked up, ready for the latest round of crap to be fired at her. She wasn't ready for this, though. The handsome, blonde-haired man turned to the pretty, red- haired woman next to him. "And this is..." Agent Dana Scully, she thought. "...Agent Dana Scully." Audrey hesitated for just a moment, then said, "Take a seat." Miles removed a hunk of papers from a chair and sat down. Scully remained standing. She looked at Audrey curiously. "Excuse me, but...have we met before?" "Can't say we have," Audrey said as she thought, Fuck, fuck, fuck... XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX A tall man came walking down a spiraling staircase. He wore a black turtleneck sweater and jeans. Sandals were hooked onto his feet. A crystal dangled from his neck. His movements and lazy face suggested a man heavily under sedation but was contradicted by the knowing look in his eyes. He held his hands behind him as if he never bothered using them. "Good health and good living to you both," he said to his visitors who were waiting in a room full of wicker furniture and chimes. It was one of many rooms in his mansion. Through an open window, the repeating sound of waves flowing onto a beach could be heard. "What might I...Agent Mulder?" Mulder blinked to hear himself addressed. "Uh, yes." November Sun smiled in a genial way. "I am familiar with your work." The fat old Cuban with him snorted. "Big fucking surprise." November Sun turned to the Cuban and said, "I do not know who you are. Nor why you are filled with so much negative energy." "My name is Detective Tomas Carranza and the only goddamned thing filling me up is barbeque." "I see. Well, won't you have a seat?" They all took seats on the furniture. November Sun crossed his legs under him, folded his hands in his lap and said, "What brings you to my home?" "I take it you have an interest in paranormal phenomena," Mulder said. Again, that genial smile. "I prefer to think of it as the Science of Life, but, yes, I do have an interest in the 'paranormal.' That's how I came to know of your work in the FBI." "Then maybe you also know about the deaths of council members Jessica Kidder and Neil Downard." "Ah, I'm afraid not. My lack of interest in politics has always been one of my failures. Or one of my virtues. Whichever you pick." Carranza's nose wrinkled as if somebody had just waved a dog turd at him. "I would imagine that you would know Kidder and Downward. They were both on the Zoning Commission. Currently, the inner politics of that organization is of particular interest to one of your associates." "I'm afraid I have many 'associates.' Which one are you referring to?" "They're bloody well referrin' to me." Mulder and Carranza turned to see a man with a piece of his head missing. The man said, "And if you two wankers got anythin' to say to me, say it to my fuckin' face." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX The man stood in the water with the legs of his white pants pulled up. He looked out over the sea as it spread out sunlight into twinkling golden lines. The water rubbed against his ankles like a friendly cat. Looking to the left and right, he saw white sand and tall grass on the shoreline where an occasional pelican might ramble. Lovely, he thought as he stood there, looking like he owned all of it. Then he felt...something. Something unpleasant. He turned and looked behind him. A man was standing on the spot where the road met the beach. The man was a thousand feet away but he felt as threatening as if he would have been standing in front of you with a chainsaw. He waited for the man to make the first move. The man waved. Awkwardly yet friendly. He waved back. "Stay right there!" he called out. Then he stepped out of the water, picked up his black shoes from the sand and walked towards his visitor. "It's quite attractive," Oscar said when the man in the white naval uniform reached him. "Yes, it is. Would you like to take a swim?" Oscar smiled in a sad way. "You know I can't do that." "Hm. No, you can't. Isn't that strange? A man of your power and you can't step onto a beach." "It's my father who has the power, not me." "You sound...very discouraged." Oscar shrugged. "I guess I just don't see the point of my father's plan. I don't think I ever did." "Then perhaps it's time to find your own way." "I wish I could. But there are rules, as you know." "I know that very well. But who made the rules?" Oscar looked straight into his companion's sea-green eyes. "The better question is -- what will happen if they are broken?" "What do you think?" "I don't dare think of it," Oscar answered, shaking his head. "Do you?" The man in the naval uniform made no reply. When a long period of silence went by, Oscar said, "Well...I better leave. My father..." "Yes, of course. Good day to you, Mister Hall." "Bye," Oscar said before vanishing. The man in the naval uniform took a good long look at Jeremiah Bay. "Pito muri pase m'kuri," he said in a low voice. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX TITLE: GONE TO FLORIDA (4 of 21) AUTHOR: DAVID HEARNE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX PART FOUR TALE OF AN ENGLISH BASTARD XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Every time Constantine Morgan saw some televised debate about violence in the American media, he wanted to throw up or kick the television or both. It wasn't because that he specialized in particularly violent entertainment. It was because he was sick of Americans worrying about how violent they were. These fuckin' American wankers, he would say. They don't know a bloody thing about violence. They think they're so fuckin' dangerous 'cause they got nuclear missiles and the Marines and drive-by shootings and street gangs and Clint Eastwood. None of that matters. You know why? They got no balls. None whatso-fuckin'-ever. I've got proof. I went to a football game once -- a Yank football game. You know, the kind with a bunch of fat darkies in shoulder pads throwin' around something that looked it fell out of an elephant's bum. Real fuckin' stupid version of the game. I would like to see any one of those ponces take off their precious helmets and play a little rugby. But what was really disgustin' was the audience. Ev'rybody had seats. And ev'rybody stayed seated. Oh, they got up ev'ry now and then to cheer for some wanker who had just scored a touchdown. But, mostly, they just sat and ate hot dogs. Nobody threw anything. No fights broke out. And it stayed like that for over three hours. After it was done, they all stood up and took their kids home. What kind of fuckin' football game is that? Now, if I had a few of my boys from Shepherd's Bush there, we coulda livened things up a bit. We woulda gone onto the field and make those big-arsed darkies take off their fairy head gear and play like real men. Any wight who tried to sell us hot dogs would get them shoved up his bum, then ordered to bring us fish 'n chips, not to mention some real beer instead of that frozen piss Americans like to drink. We woulda throw bottles at those fuckin' marchin' bands until they played "O Brittania." Afterwards, we would go up to the cheerleading squad, kick the men with their fairy jump suits into the ground and take the women away just so they would know what a real man feels like. Now, that's a football game. Oh, sure, ev'ry once and awhile, a few cars might get turned over here in America. But that's only in the cities where the team wins. Back in England...fuck, we would start the riot before the game even finished. And it would be a real fuckin' riot with hundreds of drunken Englishmen running through the streets. Furth'rmore, we don't just break out the windows in London. Whenev'r our team is playin' in another country, we follow after them. Spain, Italy, Brazil...it don't matter. We'll follow and we give those foreign wankers a sweet taste of hell, just like we used to in the old days. Before the country got soft, that is. Before king and Parliament lost a whole bleedin' empire. I guess that's why I've come to America and started this little enterprise. It's time to let Americans know that some of us Englishmen haven't forgotten when we had the world by the balls; that some of us still remember when we had millions of wogs and chinks kissin' our arse; that England ain't "Downstairs, Upstairs" or Jane Austen. I am the face of England. Look at me, America. See that big fuckin' dent on the right side of my forehead? I lost a fist-sized chunk of my fuckin' head in Italy when some wop copper fired a gas canister at me. You think any American would still be walkin' after a chunk of their skull fell out? You think that any Yank could still run a business with a piece of their head missin'? Look at me, America, and tell me just how bloody tough you are. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Constantine Morgan was five-foot-six, but there was a thickly built body under his bright green dress suit. The never-ending belligerent look in his eyes and the gigantic dent in his head served to intimidate others. It didn't do much to Detective Carranza. He hauled himself up to his feet and said, "Yeah, I've got something to say to you. Maybe I'll do it between kicking your ass and breaking your neck." "Am I supposed to be scared by some fat darkie cop?" "First of all, the word here in America is 'nigger,' not 'darkie.' Second, I'm a spic, not a nigger. Third, using any three of those names here in Miami is a good way of getting your limey heart ripped out." "There is too much negative energy in this room," November Sun sighed. "I'm inclined to agree," Mulder said as he stepped between the detective and the Englishman. "We just came here to ask a few questions." Morgan and Carranza spent a few more seconds staring at each other, then Morgan walked over to November Sun's side. He shoved his hands into his pockets and said, "Wot about?" "The deaths of Kidder and Downard. Unlike...uh...Mr. Sun here, you can hardly say that you don't know who they are." "They were a couple of wankers on the Zoning Commission. Heard they went funny and killed themselves." "That's sort of what happened. Certain facts have to be acknowledged, though. For instance, their deaths give you the advantage in the purchasing of Jeremiah Bay." Morgan smirked. "O, lucky man. Well, I'm still not sure where you goin' with this, mate, but let me tell you that I can hardly be blamed if some stupid cunt decides to jump in front of a car or through a window." Mulder looked straight into Morgan's smug face (while trying to keep his eyes off the dent) and asked, "Do you know what a zobop is?" The smirk vanished. Morgan's eyes shifted towards November Sun. Unlike the Englishman, however, November Sun looked as calm and placid as a sleeping baby. "Do you, Mr. Morgan?" Mulder asked. "No, I...I..." Morgan shook off his nervousness and snarled, "I don't know what a fuckin' zobop is. What is it, some new kind of darkie dance?" Mulder watched Morgan in silence -- just long enough to make Morgan nervous again. "I think you know more about zobops than you give yourself credit for, Mr. Morgan." The FBI agent paused, then said, "Thank you for your time. We'll be leaving now." Carranza gave Mulder a bewildered look. Mulder motioned with his head and walked out the room. Giving one last scowl at Morgan, Carranza followed. "Bloody hell!" Morgan said. "How did that fuckin' copper know about our zobop?" "He was an FBI agent, not a cop," November Sun said, his voice still quiet. "Furthermore, Agent Mulder is an experienced investigator into unusual phenomena. He seems to be on the trail to Estime." "Oh, that's just a boot up the arse," Morgan groaned. A tiny smile rose on November Sun's face. "But what if he does learn about Estime? The beauty of this crime is that it's very hard to prove in court." "Well, that's the bloody reason why I agreed to it. I mean, I don't care about all this darkie magic..." "You've already made that clear." "Jus' as long as it gets the job done, I say. But, still, this could be trouble." "In that case...then I suspect Estime will protect his turf, as they say. And if he fails to do that...well...we have our own resources at our disposal, correct?" A huge, nasty smile formed on Morgan's face to match the smile on his partner's. "Yeah," he said. "A lot of fuckin' resources." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX "Well, that was a goddamn waste of time," Carranza observed as he and Mulder walked to the car parked in front of November Sun's mansion. "Not really. Did you see the look in Morgan's eyes? He got very nervous when I brought up zobops." "I'm sure I would be really impressed if I knew what a zobop was." "A member of a secret society of voodoo sorcerers. In lore, they are blamed for creating mischief of all kinds, including death." Carranza stopped in his tracks, making Mulder stop as well. "Is that what you're thinking?" Carranza asked. "That Morgan and November Sun hired a magician to kill those council members?" "It was probably November Sun who set the whole thing up. I doubt Morgan has that kind of imagination." Before Carranza could favor the FBI agent with his obscenity- enriched wisdom, Mulder said, "I'm still waiting for your better theory, Detective." Carranza looked at Mulder, making the latter think he was about to receive a punch. Then Carranza threw his hands up in the air and said, "Whatever, then. So just how the hell do we investigate an angle like this?" "Most likely, the zobop lives right here in Miami." "Most likely, huh?" "Yes. That's why we're going to meet Andy Antoine. My sources tell me he's the best source on voodoo in this city." "Your sources, huh?" Mulder cleared his throat. "Scully and Miles ought to be finished with their interview soon. Let's go see Antoine and meet him at his shop." Carranza pulled out a cigar and lighter. "All right. You're gonna have to give me directions. I don't know where..." "Actually, I was hoping I could drive." Carranza locked his eyes with Mulder's. "And...just why is that?" Mulder decided that this was his "do-or-die" moment. "Because you drive like an asylum patient with a fucking cocaine addiction." Still keeping his eyes on Mulder, Carranza bit off the end of his cigar, spat it out of the side of his mouth, shoved the cigar between his lips, lit it up and blew out a thick mist of smoke. Mulder didn't blink the whole time. Then Carranza reached in his pocket and pulled out his keys. He threw to Mulder who caught them even though they were slick with the detective's sweat. Carranza turned and walked towards the car, hiding the smile on his face. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX "Pardon me for saying so, Miss Borg," Miles said. "but the legal position of the Seniors is pretty damn dubious." Audrey gave Miles a weak smile. "I'm aware of that every second of the day." "Not to say that I don't agree with it in principle..." "Well, bless your handsome face." "Thank you." Scully felt a brief moment of possessive jealousy. Then she went back to her mild bewilderment. She just couldn't shake the feeling that she had met this woman before. Furthermore, it hadn't been the first time she had a feeling like this. About a month ago, she had woken up with a strange sense of dislocation; a suspicion that she should have been somewhere else. Later that day, Skinner had called her, Mulder and...what was her name? Agent Sally something?... into his office. He asked if there was any need for a meeting now. With no small amount of confusion, they had to say no. With that, Skinner dismissed them in his usual, curt manner. Now, she was having the strange sense of dislocation again in Miss Borg's office. And she couldn't help but suspect that the lawyer felt the same way. "Essentially, our position is that the Zoning Commission should recognize the moral ownership of the Seniors for Jeremiah Bay. They have been using it as a recreation spot for several years now. Why should that usage discontinue now?" "Unfortunately," Miles said. "the whole idea of moral ownership could turn all of Florida back to the Seminoles." "They're not asking for all of Florida. All they're asking for is this one scrap of land. And why not leave it undeveloped? Why should we build another condo? Or another stadium? Why do we need an arena for extreme fighting?" "As I said, I agree with you in principle. But the Zoning Commission is going to give Jeremiah Bay to whoever has the most power and money." "That would be Oscar Hall." "Well, you would think. But now that Kidder and Downard are dead..." "Yes. Of course, Hall still has the money." Audrey placed her elbows on the desk and leaned forward. "Detective Miles...Agent Scully...you wouldn't be here if you didn't think there was something funny about their deaths." "Do you think there was?" Miles asked. "I do know that the surviving members of the Zoning Commission are scared out of more shit than a herd of pigs could make. Besides...rumor says Morgan has Chairman Burns under his control." "Really? I didn't know that." "Oh, yes. Morgan holds the whip hand. Quite literally." "Huh?" "Never mind. The fact is -- I was originally hoping that Hall Enterprises and Ass-Kickers, Inc. would cancel each other. Now...well, I'm back to step one. And I wouldn't count Oscar Hall out yet." "So...if you had any substantial proof of wrongdoing..." "You would be the first to know." "Well..." Miles put out a business card and laid it on the desk. "...if you have any information, you can call me here. In the meantime, I appreciate...oh, hell!" "What?" Miles turned to Scully. "I'm sorry, Scully. You were being so quiet that I forgot you were there. Do you have any questions for Miss Borg?" The two women looked at each other. "Not unless she has something just dying to come out," Scully said. "Nope," Audrey replied. "I don't." Scully stood up. "Then we thank you for your time." After her visitors had left, Audrey Borg sat motionless in her chair for a long time. Then she leaned forward until her head was touching the desk. She thought about Agent Scully and Mulder and a backwater town in Mississippi and an ancient book and a resurrected god. She also thought about a handsome, strong man who had made a year of loneliness seem as insubstantial as air. She tried not to cry. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX In the private office of Mr. Rogers, a discussion was being held. "You understand what you have to do?" "'Course ah do." "You also understand that you have to be extremely careful?" "Ah know, ah know." "Please, Sara. You're dealing with a sorcerer here." "Ain't no matter to me. Magical or not...he's just another sumbitch who can bleed." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX TITLE: GONE TO FLORIDA (5 of 21) AUTHOR: DAVID HEARNE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX AUTHOR'S NOTES: Just for your information, "Gone to Florida" is not available on my fanfic website yet. That's handled by Jintian Li and I think she's out of town right now. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX PART FIVE EVERYBODY GOES TO BUJU'S XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX The father of Oscar Hall lifted a finger and said, "I will hurt you. I will infect your every cell with cancer. Sores will open up all over your body and spew green pus. I will cut a long wound in your head and pour salt into it. Lightning will strike your balls. Maggots will infest your heart. There will be no end to your pain, not even in your dreams or at the far ends of the universe." Phil Shelby smiled. "You may do that. But you will still have to answer to Florida property laws." The old man lowered his finger and sank down another inch into his chair. He was seated in an oak-paneled room in front of a long table. On the other side of the table were two people -- Shelby who was dressed in a dark suit that looked as smooth as the day it was bought and Debra Hutchinson who wore a coat of real mink and a face of fake stretched skin. "Next order of business," Shelby said, holding up another paper document. "The yacht that is currently docked in Singapore..." "How much longer is this ever-loving shit going to last?" the old man complained. "I've got important business to tend to." "The more you cooperate, the faster it will go." "You mean, cooperate with the slicing of my balls." "What an appropriate metaphor," Debra said in a sweet voice. "Considering why we're here in the first place." "We're here because that worm-ridden fruit of our loins became a bloated, lazy fuck. That's why we're here." "No, dear. We're here because you decided to grow a fruit in somebody else's loins." The old man closed his eyes and pressed his fingers against his wrinkled, spotted forehead. "Just what is it you want? Tell me so I can get out of here." "Well," Shelby said, his thick eyebrows elevating above his tinted glasses. "if you're going to be like that...there is a little property you have. One that's located far south, so to speak." The old man's eyelids bounced up. For the first time, he looked frightened. In fact, it was the first time he had looked scared in many, many years. "You...you wouldn't..." he whispered. "I'm sure I could do wonders with the place," Debra cooed. "Spruce it up. Make it more festive." The old man struck the table with both fists. "Do you really understand who I am?" he said in a low voice. "Do you really understand who you're looking at?" "I'm looking at a man who committed adultery so that puts him on the sharp end of the stick," Shelby responded. "I'm looking at a man who -- despite his unique position of authority -- has admitted that he is bound by the rules and regulations of this state's family law. Correct?" The old man's chin fell onto his chest. He was silent for a few moments, then muttered, "What was it we were talking about before?" "Yes, what was it? Oh, that's right. The yacht..." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX The time was five o'clock and Andy Antoine was just locking up The Café-Mystere when he heard his name called out. He turned his round, heavy face to two men approaching him. "Andy Antoine?" one of them asked. In an instant, Andy knew they were cops. Shit, busted, he thought. The only question was for what. Computer hacking? Possession of drugs? Spying on one of his female neighbors with a high- powered camera? His fear increased when the slimmer, brown-haired man showed a federal ID. "I'm Agent Mulder from the FBI. This is Detective Carranza from the Miami Police." Carranza grunted at Andy, spewing smoke through his lips. "Wh-what is this about?" the shop owner asked. "It's about voodoo," Mulder said. "We have a case here that might be voodoo-related." The eyes of Andy Antoine blinked behind the thick lenses in his black-rimmed glasses. "Really?" "It involves the deaths of council members Jessica Kidder and Neil Downard. Have you heard about that?" "Uh, no. Not really. What does..." Laughter was heard. These was something odd about the sound which made Mulder turn. The sound was odd because it was coming from Scully. In the many years he had been working with her, he had met more ghosts and mutants than the number of times he had heard her laughter. Yet, she was strolling down the street of shops where The Café-Mystere was located and laughing out loud. Judging from the smile on his face as he walked next to her, Detective Miles had just amused her with a joke. Mulder raised his eyebrows, then leaned over to Carranza and whispered, "Somebody's getting chummy." Carranza almost told Mulder the whole truth, but decided...ah, let the asshole figure it out for himself. Scully saw Mulder and the familiar old look of professional detachment went up. He gave her a brief knowing smile, then said, "Mister Antoine, this is Detective Miles and Agent Scully. They're also helping on this case." "Um, hi," Antoine said as he scratched his Doctor Who t- shirt. "Look, do we have to talk about this here?" "Why, is there a problem?" "Well, it's just that around this time, I'm off to Buju's for dinner and..." "Buju's?" Miles said. "Uh-huh." "Hell, Tomas and I love that place. Don't we, Tomas?" Carranza nodded. "We eat there every fucking chance we get." Antoine's face brightened. "Hey! Then maybe we can go together." "I hate to be the spoilsport," Mulder said. "But this is a police investigation, not a family dinner." "Oh, come on, Mulder," Miles said and then he put an arm around Mulder's shoulders. Carranza looked the other way. "Surely that tight-ass of yours can loosen up a little bit?" Miles asked. "I'm...I'm not a tight-ass." "Show me," Miles said as he looked into Mulder's rich hazel eyes. Mulder looked back at the handsome face mere inches away from his lips. Then he turned to Scully. "Come on, Mulder," she said. "What could it hurt?" He shrugged. "Okay. No one can ever say that I'm not open to new experiences." "That's what I'm counting on, Agent Mulder," Miles said with a grin. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Damn dust bunnies, Jean Estime thought. They were the worst part of cleaning. He hated moving his furniture around so he could get at the grey little buggers which gathered on the rug like some inhospitable army. He also hated getting phone calls when he had chores to do. "What is it?" he snapped after he answered the ringing phone. "It's me, Estime," a languid yet oddly threatening voice said. "Ah. What do you want, November Sun?" Estime was told about Agent Mulder. "I see. Do you think he might be showing up here soon?" "It's highly probable. You might want to take certain protective measures." "Yes. I might do just that. Thank you for telling me this." After he hung up the phone, Estime thought about his future actions. He planned to take 'protective measures' but first he had to clean his apartment to his satisfaction. That was a shame. If he had chosen to put off his cleaning, then he might have been alive the next day. And Agent Scully wouldn't have disappeared. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX You could hear and smell Buju's before you saw it. The sound of outdoor speakers echoed from one end of the neighborhood block to the other. A wind brushed across the restaurant's front and delivered a scent of barbeque to the nose of Fox Mulder. "Hey!" Mulder said. "What smells good?" "What smells good is what tastes good," Andy said. "Come on." The overweight twenty-eight-year-old Haitian walked ahead of the rest, leading them down East 5th Avenue. They walked past gawking tourists, a man juggling knives, games of three-card monty, drunk frat boys, street-corner painters and a whole lot of dreadlocks. Along with Buju's on the street, there were shops selling birds or old Bibles or vegetables you won't find in any supermarket. There was also a strip joint full of neon lights and a dance club with a solid black front. And there was Buju's. Obviously, the painting of this building had been done by random strangers. Across the once- blank walls were drawings done by whoever brought a can of paint. Some were crude, some were finely rendered. Some were of flowers or geographic maps of the Carribean or a goat. Also drawn were portraits of Martin Luther King, Bob Marley or Frederick Douglas. One person had chosen to draw a big-breasted woman wearing chain-mail. "I did that one," Andy said with pride. "Why am I not surprised?" Carranza grumbled. Stepping inside, their feet encountered a floor as bright red as lipstick. The same aesthetic to the outside applied to the inside with walls covered with the personal drawings of customers. Speaking of which, there were quite a few of them in Buju's that night. It was a little tough finding a table for five people but Miles' diplomatic grin and Carranza's scowl assured them of getting one. After they sat down, three questions were asked by Mulder and Scully. "Where are the napkins?" Scully asked. "You're looking at them," Andy said, indicating the paper towels laid out before each chair. "Where is the waiter?" Mulder asked. "Buju will be around in a little bit with your dinner," Miles said. "But...what if I don't like it?" "You will." Mulder and Scully looked at each other. She shrugged. Then he turned to Andy and said, "About Kidder and Downard..." "Right. Well, what about them?" "Both of them died in a way suggesting possession by a loa." Andy's eyes widened, making them look as big as saucers behind his thick glasses. He couldn't help but smile. "You say you're with the FBI?" "Pretty fucking unbelievable, ain't it?" Carranza said. "I also believe this was deliberate," Mulder continued, ignoring Carranza. "I suspect their deaths were the results of actions taken by a zobop." The smile vanished off Andy's face, but his eyes stayed wide. "What's a zobop?" Miles asked before Scully did. "It's an evil voodoo sorcerer," Carranza answered, waving his cigar around. "Don't you know anything, Max?" "Uh...this is not...it's not exactly a laughing matter," Andy stammered. "If a zobop is involved..." Five dishes of sweet potato appeared on the table. "Evenin', everybody," a black man said as he gave each person a dish. He was dressed in a tie-dyed shirt, blue jeans held up a snakeskin belt and a Miami Dolphins cap. "How's every little ting, Detectives?" he asked. "Fine as fucking frog hair," Carranza replied with something close to a smile. "And who might be dese two with you?" Miles was sitting between Mulder and Scully. He reached out and put an arm over the shoulders of each agents. "These...are Agents Mulder and Scully," he declared. "They're from the FBI helping us with a case." Miles grinned at the black man who gave the briefest looks to Carranza. An equally brief look from the Cuban detective confirmed his suspicions. "I'm Buju," the black man said, holding out his hand. Both Mulder and Scully shook it, discovering its considerable strength. "Hello," Scully said. "Tell me, were you in the Navy?" Buju lifted his eyebrows. "No. Merchant Marines. But dat's pretty close." "My father was in the Navy. Your hands are like his -- a sailor's hands." "Aaah," Buju said with a smile. "Well, yes, I've been a travelin' man for most of my life. Finally settled down here in Miami. I'm sure you'll have as much fun in it as I have." "We're just here for business," Mulder said. Buju glanced at Miles. "Don't be so sure. Anyway, I'll be back with your main course." The black man left, maneuvering with ease through the crowded restaurant. "What did he mean by 'don't be sure?'" Mulder asked. "Oh, nothing," Miles said. "Anyway, where we left off, Andy was about to shit in his pants here." "This is not a laughing matter," Andy said in a grim voice. "A zobop is no one to fool around with." "Yeah, yeah, I know," Carranza mumbled. "He can sic an evil loa after you." "No. Not a loa. A baka. A malicious spirit that works for sorcerers." "Whatever." "Mock all you want, detective, but this stuff is very real." Andy turned to Mulder. "And you say that this thing killed two council members?" Mulder explained the exact circumstances. Afterwards, Andy shook his head and said, "Sweet fucking Jesus. This is the first I've heard of someone using a baka for those purposes." "You have any idea of who might?" Mulder asked. Andy's lips pressed together into a thin line. "Look," Mulder said as he absent-mindedly scooped up a chunk of sweet potato with a spoon. "I understand that you're scared. We've already figured out that the zobop is local and that he's working for one of the city's gangsters." "Tattling on a zobop is never a good idea under any circumstance," Andy said. "Yes, but..." Mulder bit into the potato. He blinked as the jerk concentrate added to the potato jumped all over his tongue. He tasted garlic, thyme, pimiento seed, Scotch bonnets and a bunch of spices he couldn't even recognize. They all joined hands and danced in a circle. "Wow," Mulder said. "That *is* good." "Told you," Miles said. "Trust me, Mulder. I know just how to satisfy a man's tongue." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX They walked hand-in-hand down the streets. It made for an odd sight not because they looked lost or afraid. In fact, they appeared to know exactly where they were going. Despite the presence of people much taller than they were and the darkness over several streets they walked through, they continued on their way without hesitation and always looking ahead. They were headed to The Café-Mystere. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Andy had a name. Mulder knew it; knew that the young shop owner had info on the local voodoo community; knew Andy was aware of a zobop who had connections to organized crime; also knew that Andy was too frightened to give the name up. Throughout dinner, Mulder tried to pry the name out of Andy. He pleaded, cajoled, appealed to his sense of justice. He almost threatened him with an arrest, but both he and Andy knew the courts would shoot that down quicker than a Scud missile. "Because he wouldn't give you the name of a what?" Mulder imagined the judge saying. "What are you, fucking high?" Mulder's attempts at getting information were strictly a solo act. Scully, Miles and Carranza watched his interrogation in silence with trepidation, amusement and annoyance respectively. Instead of speaking, they ate the meals Buju brought them. Taking occasional bites of curried goat or tomatoes between questions was the only pleasure Mulder was getting at that moment. Buju was a cook of almost unholy talent. During this dinner/interrogation, they had a visitor. "You ass-kissing, fascist-fucking sellout of a fag!" Naturally, that got people's attention. The deliverer of the insult was a woman with arms like a lumberjack and a body as round as a sequoia. She wore a stud-covered jacket and heavy boots, both black. Her shaven head was decorated with a fair number of scabs. Her insult was directed towards Miles with a voice as cold and angry as her eyes. With eyes equally cold, Miles said, "Watch who you're talking to, you butt-ugly, worthless piece of shit dyke." Oh, lovely, Mulder thought as the detective and the biker strode up to each other until their noses were almost touching. He looked at Carranza. Miles' partner was watching this confrontation as if it was a game of tennis. Everybody else in the restaurant was ignoring it except for Mulder and Scully. "You need to get fucked by a man so badly," Miles snarled in her face. "That's what your dad thought, but I kicked him and his worm of a dick out of my bed. Your momma just couldn't wait for me." "She told me about that. She said your pussy tasted like cigarette butts." "And hers tasted like a rat's asshole. Figures when you consider what came out of it." "No, they delivered me by C-section. I was so well-hung that I couldn't get out the normal way." Miles and the woman stared at each other for a few moments. Then a tiny smile bent the woman's mouth. "You're gonna prove that to me one of these days?" "Anytime you're ready to come over to the dark side," Miles replied with a grin. They both laughed and hugged each other. Mulder covered his eyes. "Shit," he groaned. Scully sighed. Miles and the biker woman walked over to the table, arms over each other's shoulders. "Mulder, Scully...this is Gloria Kalahan." "Uh, hi," Mulder said. Kalahan gave the two FBI agents a good long look, especially Scully. Then she said, "More representatives of the corrupt patriarchal fascist legal system, I see." Mulder tried to come up with a suitable reply like "I resemble that remark" or "Sez you!" Before he could, Kalahan turned to Miles and said, "I was going to take a piss. Want to join me?" "Sure. Be back in a little bit, guys!" Miles and Kalahan headed off. Mulder noticed that they were both going to the men's bathroom. "Hey, they're..." "Forget about it. Goddamned funny pair, huh?" "You and Miles don't exactly match up, either," Scully observed. Carranza shrugged. "He's smart, he's not on the take and I trust him to watch my back. Ain't nothing more I could ask from a partner." "I think he might be wanting a little more than that from you, Scully," Mulder observed with a smile. Scully looked down, starting to blush. "Come on, Scully. Admit that you're flattered." "Are you?" Carranza asked. "Huh?" "Are you flattered?" "Over what?" "Oh, for Christ's sake!" Andy said. "Do you have cataracts or something? Even I saw it from the word go." "Saw what?" Scully said. "What are you talking about?" Carranza pulled out his smoking stub of a cigar and said, "He's been making moves on both of you." Mulder and Scully stared at Carranza, then they blinked. "Hey," Mulder said. "He has been." "Yeah and it's pretty hilarious. You can see fucking evil voodoo sorcerers, but you don't notice if a guy is making a pass at you? Jesus..." "Why do I suspect this isn't just a game with him?" Scully said with a frown. "Oh, it is a game for him. It's just the goal is getting you both in bed, preferably at the same time." Scully folded her arms over her chest. "Well, I think he's going to get neither of us in bed now." Mulder looked at her. "I mean...if you were gay, Mulder, he wouldn't...oh, you know what I mean!" "Doesn't matter," Carranza said. "He's got you in his sights. And I haven't seen anybody -- male or female, gay or allegedly straight -- escape his clutches. Just remember one thing, Mulder..." "Does your next comment revolve around anal intercourse and the necessary lubricants?" Carranza stuck the diminished cigar back into his mouth and raised an eyebrow. "Guess no one has to teach you anything, huh, Agent?" XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX TITLE: GONE TO FLORIDA (6 of 21) AUTHOR: DAVID HEARNE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX PART SIX ANOTHER FAMILIAR FACE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX A college football player from the University of Miami -- a big, thick, tanned piece of young manhood -- was using one of the three urinals in the men's bathroom when Kalahan and Miles entered. "So those two are gonna be your latest conquests?" he heard Kalahan say. His head spun to see the burly woman enter. He was too shocked and too drunk to protest. "Absolutely," Miles said. "That is unless you've got plans for Scully..." Kalahan snorted. "That little thing?" She went up to the urinal next to the football player's and unzipped her pants. "I clean my teeth out with chicks like her," she commented as she pulled out a long plastic tube. The tube -- in case you're interested -- was attached to a flat funnel tied to her groin. The football player stared in bewilderment as a yellow liquid spewed from the tube and onto the porcelain. Kalahan noticed his attention. "What are you looking at, blue-nuts?" she inquired. With a large stain spreading on his jeans, the football player bolted for the door. As Miles took his own piss, he said, "Of course, if you change your mind, I'm willing to fight you over her." Kalahan frowned. "I don't think so. Our first fight was enough for me." "Oh, that wasn't really a fight. I just caught you by surprise, that's all." "Yeah, I was so surprised that I got my nose broken." Miles smiled and shrugged. He had met Kalahan when he and Carranza had been investigating the murder of a Hell's Angel. Their investigation had led them to The Iron Pussy, a dyke biker bar. When they tried to ask questions of Kalahan, she had narrowed her eyes and said to Miles, "I know you. They did a profile of you in the Herald." "Yep, they did," Miles said. The profile had been about "Gays in the Workplace," a piece that Miles had agreed to participate in because the reporter had been cute. (The actual fucking had been a bit of a let-down.) "You have a lot of nerve calling yourself 'gay,'" Kalahan had snarled. "Excuse me?" Miles said as he stopped smiling. "First of all, you're not gay. You're one of those bisexuals...those goddamn fence-sitters." "I...prefer to think of it as keeping my options open." "I bet. Is that why you're a pig too?" "As I said before...excuse me?" "A pig. A walking-talking asshole with a badge and a gun. Another tool of a repressive system. That you're gay...or whatever...that only makes you more pathetic." The other dykes nodded and grunted their assent to Kalahan's position. Carranza -- not a man who could intimidate easily -- found his hands inching towards his holster. "You're a fucking sell-out," Kalahan continued. "A cowardly assimilationist." "Well, better to be an assimilationist than a fat ugly bitch," Miles replied, his smile returning. Kalahan got off her stool, ready to beat down this faggot detective. Then she encountered a shockingly quick right and she fell back on her stool, clutching her nose. The other dykes moved in on Miles and his partner. Carranza touched his gun. "Wait, wait!" Kalahan said. She lowered her hand and looked at Miles. He looked straight back at her. As blood leaked over her lips, she smiled and said, "Okay." Miles replied, "Okay." Thus was a friendship born. "Besides," Kalahan said as she dispensed her last drops of urine. "I ain't gonna change my mind. What would I want with some red-haired midget? I could break her in two with my tongue." "I think she's a lot more durable than you think." Kalahan looked over at Miles' urinal and smiled. "I hope so, Simba." Miles grinned and let out a trumpeting noise. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX In another part of town, someone else needed to take a piss. Jean Estime had finally gotten done with his cleaning and now was ready to summon up the baka. He lit the candles, knelt before the altar and began his chant while shaking a gourd. Halfway through his chant, a pressure began to form in his bowels. He tried to ignore it. This particular baka had a hot temper and did not like being held up. (There were a lot of things odd about this baka. Estime wasn't even sure if it was a baka. Still, it could get the job done.) However, not even a zobop could ignore nature's bellowing call. To hell with it, he thought and got up. As he headed for the bathroom, he sensed the baka's impatience. "Keep your shirt on," he muttered. "I'll be back in a little bit." He closed the bathroom door. His sigh of relief could be heard. What couldn't be heard was the person who slid a window open from the outside and entered his apartment as silently as smoke. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX "No, no, no..." "Oh, come on, Andy. Please?" This is pathetic, Scully thought. Mulder is actually begging. She shook her head and finished off her last bite of goat. Lord, that had been good. "I'm sorry, Agent Mulder, but I just can't give you that information," Andy insisted. "But if you need any help, here's my card..." Mulder rolled his eyes and picked up his bottle of beer. "Yes, that will be most damn useful." "I think you will," Andy said as he took out a pen and began to write on the back of the card. "I'm going to write my home phone number if you need that." "Oh, thanks." "No, I mean my home phone number." "Yeah, sure." "No, I mean...my *home* phone number." Mulder blinked and looked at the card. Instead of a number, he saw a name and an address. "Actually," Mulder said, "you keep it. I've got it committed to memory now." Andy nodded and put the card back into his pocket. Miles and Kalahan returned from the bathroom. "I think we've taken up enough of Mr. Antoine's time," Mulder announced. "We better get going." "Ah," Miles said. "Well, I'll catch you later, Gloria." "I think you're going to catch something before me, Max. Oh, by the way, straight lady..." Scully stopped in the middle of getting up. "Your hetero ass can rest assured that I don't find you the least bit attractive." Scully hesitated, then smiled and said, "Who said that I was straight?" She headed for the cash register with Mulder, Miles, Carranza and Andy all staring at her. Kalahan saw the looks on their faces and discerned the dirty little thoughts behind them. "Boys? A word of advice?" They turned to her. "Whether we be lipstick lesbians or bald-headed dykes...you men are just too ugly for us to deal with." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX The old mulatto walked down the sidewalk, leaning on his cane and taking every step at a sluggish pace while he sucked on a candy cane. He looked like an easy fellow to mug if you want thought there was something worth stealing from inside those ratty clothes. He certainly didn't act like a threat. Then he stopped. His sleepy eyes turned bright and wary. He watched them as they came his way. They halted in front of them. "Well..." he said. "Hello," one of them said. "We're glad to meet you," the other added. "Very much so," the first one concluded. "Tell me...do you have anything to do with that whole Jeremiah Bay deal?" "Oh, yes." "We've come to deliver a warning." "I see," the old man said, then stepped aside. "Well, don't let me hold you up." "Thank you, sir!" they chimed, then continued on their way, hand-in-hand. "A lot of different ingredients in this stew," the old man mused as he scratched his chin. "What will it taste like when it's done?" XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX The woman who drove a knife straight up into the chin of Jean Estime could have told the old man what it would taste like. She had eaten just about everything. Everything. And most of it just tasted like chicken. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX "You two wait here," Mulder said to Carranza and Miles. They had just reached Gem Beach Apartments, a sleek and expensive-looking building where Jean Estime lived (or used to live.) "What the fuck are you talking about?" Carranza said. "He's talking about not needing four people to talk to this man," Scully explained. "And we need a couple of people outside in case he tries to escape." "Hell, I understand that. But shouldn't Max or I go up there? I mean, just so you clowns remember, it *is* our fucking..." "It's okay, Tomas," Miles said. "We can cool our heels out here, can't we?" Carranza looked at Miles, his mouth tightening around his almost-dead cigar. "Then it's settled," Mulder said. "We'll tell you everything after we're done." The two agents went inside the building. "You better, you cock-sucker," Carranza muttered, then spat out his cigar and pulled out a fresh one. "They know, don't they?" Miles said. "About my...plans for them?" "Yeah," Carranza snorted. "I had to spell it out for them in big fucking letters. Told them that you'll probably end up slipping them the jammy anyway." Max smiled and leaned against his car. "Every relationship has its little bumps." "Or, in your case, its little humps." "Nothing little about it, Tomas." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX "Damn, I can't believe we didn't see it," Mulder said as he and Scully rode up in the elevator. "It was so obvious." "Hmmm." "I mean...it's not like I mind that he was hitting on me..." "No?" "I am secure enough in my masculine identity not to be threatened..." "Right, right." "No, I mean, really..." "I believe you, Mulder." "It's just that he was hitting on us *both*. I mean, that's just the height of temerity." "Or maybe he's that good." Mulder looked at Scully. She kept her eyes fixed on the doors. Then he looked at the doors and said, "Let's just go talk with the zobop." "Yes. Let's." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Aw, fuckin' shit, the baka thought. That asshole has gotten himself killed. Didn't I try to warn him? Didn't I try to send a goddamned signal to stay in the bathroom? But, noooo, he just thought that I was being impatient. Well, look at your nigger self now, you son-of-a-bitch. Look at what that crazy woman is doing to you. I would be enjoying this if it weren't for the fact that your death lives me stuck in this fucking limbo with no way to... Wait. Who's that coming? XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX They both felt it as they got out of the elevator. The closer they got, the stronger the feeling became. It was like hearing a knife getting sharpened right behind you. Their unease grew with each step. Finally, they stopped with just a few feet between them and the door to Apartment 52. They looked at each other. Then they pulled out their guns. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX They can sense me, he thought. Hot damn. They must be...what the fuck are they called...latent sensitives. (Don't know what that means. Sounds like a closet faggot to me.) Anyway, this gives me a chance to get out of here because I sure as hell ain't using that crazy bitch as a ride. God...what is she...Lord, that's disgusting... XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX There was something odd about the woman Mulder and Scully saw after Mulder kicked down the door and it wasn't just that she was yanking out somebody's heart. Or the fact that every stitch of clothing on her was made of hand-sewn animal skins. Or the fierce gleam in her eyes. It was the fact that Mulder and Scully had met her before, but they couldn't say when or where. Judging from the surprise on the woman's face, she had the same feeling. Of course, that was kind of a secondary issue at the moment. They all stayed frozen for a moment -- Scully and Mulder with their hands around guns and the woman with her hand around the heart of Jean Estime which stretched long red tendrils from a gaping hole in his chest where ribs jutted out like knives. Then Mulder decided to speak up. "Uh...you're under arrest?" XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Let's see, the baka thought. Which one? Go with the red head. Yeah, I'd like to get inside her. Damn right. Get inside and make the cunt play with herself. That'll be some fun... XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX The woman growled. It was the kind of sound not expected from human vocal chords -- low and mindless and bloodthirsty. The blood dripping off her lips looked all too appropriate. Mulder cleared his throat and said, "I mean it. I don't know who you are, lady, but I doubt you're faster than a speeding bullet." Or is she? he thought. The answer seemed to be 'no.' The woman reached up and wiped off the blood from her mouth with the back of her hand. She looked between the two guns pointing at her head, her eyes becoming more cautious if no less hungry. Mulder was about to reach for his handcuffs when Scully fainted. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Open wide, bitch... XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Scully fell to the side, bumping right into Mulder and distracting him for a second. One second was all the woman needed. She bolted through the air like an arrow and struck both agents with her forearms. Mulder felt a force that could have taken out an entire football defense line, much less a pair of federal employees. He and Scully were catapulted into the hallway with her tumbling to the floor and him being tossed against the other wall. Through the pain inflicted on his back, he heard the door of Apartment 52 slamming shut. Out of instinct, he fired. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Carranza and Miles pulled out their own guns when they heard the shots. "You take the stairs!" Carranza ordered as they rushed into the building. "I'll stand by the elevator!" It was a sound way of blocking off a retreating bad guy...but not with this particular bad gal. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Scully regained conscious but she could only pull herself up to a kneeling position. "Mulder..." she whispered. "Stay down," he said in a firm voice. He didn't know what was wrong with Scully, but he damn well wasn't putting her in danger while she was in this condition. He was on his feet to the right of a door with two smoking holes in it. All right, he thought. Carranza and Miles must have heard that shot so they'll be on their way. And I'm not going to face with that crazy woman without some fucking back-up. As long as she was trapped in that apartment... Was she trapped? Well, sure, how is she going to get out? Climb down the outside of... Wait. How did she get into the apartment at all? "Shit," Mulder hissed. He kicked the door in again. Jean Estime was still laid on the floor, still looking very surprised, still cuts and sliced in several spots with his heart dangling from his chest like a booger from a nose. Mulder saw the open window, rushed over, saw the woman on the second floor and going further down. He fired. The woman bounced off the wall and fell through twenty feet of air. Did he hit her? Nope. She landed on her legs like a cat. A surrounding circle of palm trees gave her shadows to vanish into. "Shit and shit some more," Mulder said. He heard a voice call out "Agent Scully!" He went back to the hallway, stepping over the puddles of blood spreading from Estime's body. Miles was running down the hallway towards Scully who was still trying to get herself erect. Neighbors were slowly sticking their heads out. A baby could be heard crying. "I'm...I'm fine," Scully said as Miles reached her side. "What hap..." Miles started before Mulder said, "We've got a killer on the loose. She just climbed down the side of the building..." "Excuse me?" "That's what she did, okay? Get on the radio and put out a bulletin for a woman in her late twenties. She's dressed in animal skins. She doesn't seem to have a gun, but she is still incredibly dangerous." "Animal skins? Are you shitting me?" Mulder stepped aside and pointed at the body inside Apartment 52. "No shit this time." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Andy went back to his shop and his apartment above it, feeling anxious. He had tried to give the name of Jean Estime to Mulder in the most nondescript way he could. He had made enough protestations to be heard by the whole restaurant, so Estime wouldn't blame him for the cops at his door, right? And he couldn't just stand by and let some zobop kill members of his city government, right? I hate these fucking moral dilemmas, Andy thought. I need to unwind. A couple of microwave burritos and a little bit of masturbation to Jeri Ryan's photos should do the trick. When The Cafe-Mystere came into sight, he wasn't sure that he was seeing correctly. The closer he got, however, he realized that his myopic eyes weren't lying. He ran the remaining thirty feet, huffing and puffing all the way. He was out of breath when he stopped in front of the two girls standing before The Cafe-Mystere. Gasping, he said, "H-h-hi..." "Hello," the girls said in unison. One was black, the other was white. However, they had the same eyes, same lips, same height, same clothes. "I'm Sue," the white one said. "I'm Etta," the black one said. "I'm...I'm..." Andy panted. "We know who you are, Mr. Antoine," Etta said. "Do you know who we are?" Sue asked. "I...I think I do." Andy straightened himself and let out a long breath. "Why are you here?" "We've come to tell you many things," Sue explained. "The first thing is..." Etta said. "...Agent Scully is in danger..." "Call up Agent Mulder now." "Uh...I don't have his number." The girls knew it. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX TITLE: GONE TO FLORIDA (7 of 21) AUTHOR: DAVID HEARNE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX PART SEVEN BLOOD ON THE FLOOR, VOICES IN THE HEAD XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX "She...fainted?" "Yes. She did." Carranza rolled his eyes. "Jesus Christ..." "Lay off her," Miles snapped. "I mean, look at that guy..." He pointed at the corpse before them. Lab technicians were setting up in Apartment 52 and they didn't like looking at the body themselves. Miles said, "If I had seen that and what Mulder has described..." "You're a fucking experienced law enforcement official, Miles," Carranza replied. "I assumed Agent Scully was, too." "She is," Mulder said quietly. "She's seen things as bad as this before." "Then why the hell did she faint?" "I'm not sure." Mulder looked around the well-furnished, well-scrubbed apartment. It could have been photographed and displayed in a decorator's magazine except for the body. And the altar full of lit candles. Mulder examined the altar with its tiny statues, medallions and bowls arranged in a pattern meaningful only to the dead man. A drum and a gourd waited to be used. It looked like photos of other voodoo altars. Even the open can of Budweiser in the center was not completely atypical. Alcohol and other drinks were often laid out as offerings to the spirits, though usually they were sugary in taste. A common trait among the loa was having an active sweet-tooth. "What do you think?" Miles asked in a grim voice. "I think...we have just found the man who killed Downard and Kidder. This altar was where Estime summoned the baka sent to perform the job. Judging from the decor, Estime had been a professional assassin for some time." "Then why was he killed?" "Possibly November Sun and Morgan wanted to keep him quiet. Or Hall Enterprises found out about him and decided to take care of him." Miles thought about that briefly, then his eyes widened. "Oh, Jesus! Arnold Sands!" "Who?" "Arnold Sands -- another Miami gangster. Small-time, really, but he thought he was tough enough to run a protection racket on a real-estate broker named...geez, what was his name... something Rogers." "Oh, yeah," Carranza said. "I remember that piece of shit. Turns out he picked on the wrong guy. One day, they found eighty percent of Sands hanging from a palm tree. No one was ever able to trace the crime back to Mr. Rogers, but the message was as clear as fucking cellophane. Since then, nobody has picked on him." Mulder looked down at Estime and took note of the zobop's missing nose and fingers. "You think Estime and Sands had the same killer?" "I'm definitely inclined to think it," Miles said. "Since it's Mr. Rogers who is handling the Jeremiah Bay negotiations for Hall Enterprises. Apparently, Oscar Hall hired him on the basis of his...ingenuity." Mulder took a long breath. "Well, that explains that." Carranza took a long breath himself, but one clouded by his cigar. "Let's say this zobop shit is for real." "Why, Detective Carranza, how generous of you," Mulder said with a smile. "Stuff it. What am I saying is...if it's true, what's so fucking important about Jeremiah Bay? I mean, I think I understand what that asshole Morgan is thinking. He's just some English prick who hates it when something ain't his. But Hall Enterprises is a big, big company. What use is Jeremiah Bay to them? Why the hell are they're willing to have a war over it?" Before Mulder could attempt an answer to that, he heard a small voice say, "Mulder?" He turned to the door. Scully was standing there and looking like a grade school student being sent to the principal's office. "Excuse me," Mulder said to the detectives. He stepped out into the hallway and took Scully aside. "How are you feeling? And please don't say 'fine.'" Scully sighed. "I'm confused. I don't know what happened. What that woman was doing...it was horrible, but..." "Don't worry about that." "Mulder, because of me, a killer got away. Of course, I'm going to worry about it." "All I'm saying is that we should find out what happened before you start blaming yourself." "Then how do you explain it?" "I don't know yet, but...I had a strange feeling when I saw that bitch-from-hell, pardon the expression." Scully smiled a little. "It's an appropriate one. And...uh...I had a strange feeling, too." "Like you had seen her before?" "As a matter of fact...yes. That would be the second time today. When I saw Audrey Borg, she..." Scully shook her head. "This is meaningless." "No, it's not. We need to find out..." Scully gave Mulder the kind of look that cut him straight to the heart. "You need a partner you can depend on," she said. "I depend on you. I always will." She remained silent for a moment, then said, "I'm going downstairs. I'll be waiting for you outside." Mulder watched her enter the elevator and the doors close. Then he watched the doors for a little bit before he went back to Apartment 52. Even Carranza kept from asking about Scully when he saw the moody expression on Mulder's face. "Uh, Mulder?" Miles said. "Yeah?" "You were going to say something?" "Hm. Well...I was going to say that there's a third group to consider in all this. The Seniors?" "What, you think they're involved?" Miles said in surprise. "I think that Jeremiah Bay has some special meaning to them. And perhaps it's the same reason why Oscar Hall wants it." He shook his head. "Lots of ingredients here, but I don't know what the recipe is for. One thing we ought to do is have Andy Antoine come down here and look..." The cellular phone chirped in Mulder's pocket. Mulder answered it. "Mulder..." He blinked. "Mister Antoine? We were just..." Mulder glanced at the body. "Yeah, he's dead. How did..." He listened some more. As he did, fear rose on his face like a moon in a dark sky. "I'll call you back," he said, disconnected the phone and sped out of the apartment, still clutching the phone in his hand. Carranza and Miles gave each other the briefest of looks, then chased after him. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Settling under a palm tree, Scully found a quiet spot away from the police cars in front of Gem Beach Apartments. She sat down on a bench with her back turned to the twirling red-and-blue lights. In her mind, she replayed the moment when she and Mulder burst into Estime's apartment. Again, her lapse into unconsciousness frightened her even more than the horror they had witnessed. What had happened? Why? (I'll give you three guesses, bitch...) She spun around. The nearest person behind her was a police officer thirty feet away. This voice had seemed to come from right behind her. (Closer than that. Way closer than that.) The chuckling voice was like some fly in her ear she couldn't swat away. She shook her head, but it kept talking. (Can't do nothin' about it. You're stuck with me so why don't you just relax and learn to enjoy it?) A numbness settled over her body. She looked down at her hands and they appeared to be a hundred miles away from her. Then she saw her knees spread apart. (Oh, yeah. Let's take a feel at that sweet little cunt of yours. When I get done, your panties will feel like they've been glued to your pussy.) Her hand was moving towards her lap. She made tiny mewling sounds in her throat. (Hey! What did I tell you? If you know what's good for you...) Fuck you, shit-for-brains, she thought. It's my body. If you don't back off... (Or what? Just what the hell will you do, bitch?) Inside her mind, Scully imagining herself pushing at the force inside of her. The hand stopped moving, but trembled like an animal caught in a trap. (You stinking little whore. You're only going to make this worse on yourself. You can't hold out forever.) Scully realized that the voice was right. She needed to do something. She needed to grab a hold of her body and keep control. She needed to keep moving. She needed to run. That's exactly what she did. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX "Are you going to tell me that not one of you goddamned idiots saw a woman walk out those doors and what direction she..." "Whoa, whoa, Mulder," Miles said, seeing the annoyed faces of the police officers who were present outside Gem Beach Apartments. "Take it easy. We'll find her." Miles turned to the officers. "Spread out and search. She can't have gotten far." "Well, what the hell is wrong with her anyway?" one of the officers demanded to know. Miles looked to Mulder who said, "She...she may have been subjected to some kind of intoxicant. Just find her, okay?" After the police officers dispersed, Carranza said, "All right. Now can you tell us what the fuck really happened?" "That's what I plan to find out," Mulder muttered as he pulled out his cell phone. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Andy was waiting by the phone in his shop. He sat on a stool with his knees bouncing. Occasionally, he would throw glances at the two girls. They looked back at him with unblinking eyes. The phone rang. He grabbed the receiver. Before he could say "Hello," Mulder's voice said, "She's gone. What is wrong with her?" "Um, I'm not sure exactly..." Andy glanced at the two girls. "Look, Andy, I need to know..." "Ask him if the candles were still lit on the altar," Sue said. "Huh?" Andy replied. "Andy?" Mulder said. "Ask him if the candles were lit," Etta urged. "Andy, who are you talking to?" The shop-owner said, "Did Estime have candles lit on his altar? Were they still lit when you found him?" A pause, then Mulder said, "Yes to both questions." Andy did some quick thinking and said, "Tell me...have you two ever had encounter with psychic phenomena before?" There was a short, humorless laugh heard on the other end. "Yeah, you might say that." "Well, that means you two are latent sensitives. You can pick up the existence of certain spirits if they're strong enough to...aw, fuck." "What?" "Agent Mulder...I think Scully has just been possessed by a baka." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Witnesses would later say that the woman looked like she was being chased by Satan himself with Adolf Hitler and Jack the Ripper bringing up the rear. In actuality, she was playing a game of chicken with herself... (Whoooaaaa...) ...and the thing inside her head. (Slow the fuck down! You're gonna run into something and fucking kill us!) So, are you going to get out of my head? Well, are you? (Fucking forget...LOOK OUT!) Two cars honked, squealed and braked to a halt as she ran across an intersection. She could feel the warmth of their engines as she passed by them and heard the curses of the drivers. She continued on, faces and lights flickering across her vision. Her coat was shrugged off. The pain grew in her feet as they slammed again and again into the ground. Her soles began to bleed. (Oh, hell...oh, man...I'm gonna...) With a sound like a trombone's bad note, her bowels opened up. Turds deposited themselves into her underwear, stretching it out. Urine soaked her front and streaked down her to leave tiny spots in her wake. Add the sweat all over her body and you have a smell like the inside of an elephant cage. Still, she kept running, long after she had forgotten the point of it. She only knew that if she stopped moving, Something Bad Would Happen. Unfortunately, fear can only conquer the weakness of the flesh for so long. Every spasm in her legs, every hot breath in her lungs, every heartbeat that threatened to shatter her ribs was telling her to rest. Eventually, her body made the decision for her. As if she had been tripped up, she dropped to the ground. Asphalt hit across her hands, face and knees, then rubbed black dirt into her wounds. (Oh, you fucking bitch...oh, I'm gonna make you pay...) She no longer cared anymore. The only thing she was concerned about was where she was. There were no lights and no buildings from where she could see. Only darkness. Funny. Then she heard a sound like waves breaking on a beach. She recognized it as the air rushing over a moving vehicle. Summoning her last bit of strength, she turned her head in that direction. A pair of headlights was growing brighter and brighter. They looked like two missiles fired at her. Oh, she thought. (Oh, shit!) I'm lying on the highway. Gee, I didn't know I had ran that far. (No, no, no, no....) She made more details around the headlights -- a mosquito- covered grill, black tires, a driver with wide eyes and a wide mouth. Scully wondered if she should move, but her body was too exhausted and her mind was too clouded with someone else's thoughts. (OH, GOD, OH, SWEET JESUS, NO...) Then Scully saw a van whip over to the other side of the world and pass within an inch of her hair. It sounded like the brakes scrapped a mile of rubber off the tires before the van stopped. A door opened and footsteps rushed towards her. The feet actually sounded angry. It was the next-to-last thing Scully heard before blacking out. The last thing was a man with a Southern accent yelling, "Goddammit, woman, what are you doing in the middle of the mammy-fucking road?!" XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX TITLE: GONE TO FLORIDA (8 of 21) AUTHOR: DAVID HEARNE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX PART EIGHT THE BLUES OF OSCAR HALL XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Whap. "Oh, yes..." Whap. "Punish me, my master..." Whap. "Hurt me and bleed me, you great English lord..." Whap. Ring. "'Scuse me a minute, love." "No, don't stop now." Ring. "Have to, love. The phone is ringin'. I need to..." "DON'T STOP!" Whap. "Oh, yes, I am such a bad girl! So VERY bad!" Ring. Constantine Morgan looked between the bleeding back of Zoning Commission Chairman Gwendolyn Burns and the phone. The chairman had stopped by his beachside house at eleven- forty-five p.m., a perfectly fucked-up time to be calling on anybody. However, that was the price he had to pay for his influence over Burns. A couple of months back, a clandestine investigation by Morgan revealed an interesting fetish of Chairman Burns. When confronted with this information, Burns said, "Are...are you going to blackmail me?" Morgan grinned, cracked his knuckles and said, "No need to do that, you silly little bird." Burns looked at those big knuckles. "What do you want to do then?" she whispered. "Anythin' you want, Chairman. Anythin' at all." It seemed like a good idea to gain dominance over the Chairman, so to speak. However, Morgan was regretting the idea. The woman exhausted him. She was like a fuckin' Timex watch -- takes a lickin' and keeps on moanin'. Whips, wax dripping off a hot candle, even the occasional electric shock...nothing was enough. She just kept asking for more. What did he have to do to satisfy her? Drop a safe on her head? Ring. "Punish me! Punish me!" Burns demanded. She squirmed in the straps hanging from a hook. With one hand administering the whip to her exposed back, Morgan stretched a hand to the phone resting on a table. Whap. "Harder!" Ring. Trying to keep himself balanced on his two feet, Morgan tried to extend his arm as far it could go. Bloody hard to do when you're trying to whip someone without looking. "Harder!" Ring. His fingers finally touched the receiver. He try to pull it into his grasp, but it only slipped to the floor. "I said, HURT ME!" "Hello?" the phone said. "Anybody there?" Morgan sighed and gave a nice sharp lash to the chairman's back. "Oooooh...." "Hello? Constantine?" Morgan scooped up the receiver off the floor. "Yeah, what the hell is it?" he grumbled as he snapped the black leather again across the bleeding skin. "Oh, my master," Burns croaked. "Constantine, this is November Sun. Am I interrupting anything?" "Nah, it's just me and Lady fuckin' Chatterley here. Now what is it?" "Estime is dead," November Sun said, his voice as calm as ever. Morgan lowered his whip hand and the black leather touched the floor. "How?" he demanded to know. "He was killed. Looks like Mr. Rogers arranged it from the sound of the gory details." "Fuckin' hell!" "Constantine, you stopped," Burns whimpered. "I have no doubt that Oscar Hall is making somewhat subtle assurances to the Zoning Commission that they can vote against us without fear of reprisal." "Well, go out there and get another one of those darkie wizards, you idjit!" "Constantine, I have to be punished," Burns insisted. "Shut yer gob, will ya?" Morgan told her. "Finding a new zobop will not be easy," November Sun informed the Englishman. "They are difficult to locate, much less hire for an assassination. We were lucky to find Estime. By the time we can arrange one..." "...we'll be fucked up the bum. Look, couldn't you handle this yerself?" "I HAVE TO BE PUNISHED!" "I SAID, BE QUIET, YOU BLOODY WHORE!" "Me?" November Sun said. "Summon up a baka?" "Sure, why not? You know enough about that voodoo shit, don't you?" "Well...I've done the reading...but that's not really my preferred area of spirituality..." "Listen, mate, you're my fuckin' business partner. I don't think it's askin' much for you to just try." There was a brief pause, then November Sun said, "All right. But now with Estime dead, it's up to you to make sure Mulder doesn't become more of a problem." Morgan tightened his grip on his whip. "Oh, trust me. I've got ways of dealing with that fucker. No way am I going to let some federal ponce give me grief." With that, Morgan hung up the phone and stood there, feeling the whip in his hand. Fuckin' Estime dying on us, he thought. Fuckin' Mulder, fuckin' Oscar Hall, fuckin' Mr. Rogers, fuckin' shit everywhere I step... He spun towards Burns and cracked the whip harder than ever before. "OOOOH! OH, MY! YES! YES!" One nice thing about the arrangement between him and the chairman -- it provided a nice outlet for rage. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX She was drowning in her own mind. Thoughts and emotions had melted into a thick sludge which was piling upon her. Attempts to free herself were useless. She could do nothing except lie back and suffocate. The terror at this idea was muted as if she was losing concern about herself. She wasn't even too worried by the knowledge of another presence which would take over her carcass at her final moments. The presence had been shocked into inaction itself but it would soon recover. Its theft of her body did not scare her in anyway tangible. Still, there was a tiny portion of her soul which wanted to resist. Since it knew that any actions on its part were futile, it called out for help. Oh, God, it said. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Mother Mary. Please help me. Please rescue me. Then, a hand grabbed the invading presence by the neck and tossed it away into a dark abyss. ("Shiiiiiit" was its moan as it faded away.) She felt the hand grab her and pull her free from the sludge. Her rescuer was a beautiful mulatto woman covered with jewelry. Standing ten feet behind her was an old mulatto man wearing patchwork clothes. "Hello, gal," the woman said, smiling ear-to-ear. "I ain't Jesus and I sure ain't the Virgin Mary, but will I do?" XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX "Good God almighty, this woman stinks like the armpit of a mammy-fucking gorilla." "Think we ought to take her to the hospital?" "Boy, what kind of stupid goddamn question is that? Of course, we ought to take her to the mammy-fucking hospital!" "I don't know. I don't think she's really sick..." "No, she's probably just been snorting crack. Anyway, let the damn doctors figure it out." "Hmmmm." "What are you 'hmmmm'-ing about, Meyer?" "Something about her...I think I've seen her be..." She opened her eyes and saw the inside of a van. Watching over her were two men -- one in his forties and the other not yet twenty. The older man was shorter and more compact than the tall youth. He was also frowning while the younger man had an alert, kindly expression. They both saw her eyes open. "Ma'am?" the younger man said. "Are you all right?" She turned her head left and right. She also managed to tilt it up a little before it fell back to the floor. Doing so gave her more details -- packed guitars and speakers, a drum kit, a couple of mattresses, a stack of books, a driver who kept looking back with a scowling expression. "Ma'am, are you all right?" "Boy, you can repeat the mammy-fucking question all you want and I'll bet you my dick that the answer is still going to be 'no.'" She made a choked sound in her throat -- a slurred attempt at words. "What's your name, Miss?" the younger man asked. She cleared her throat. "I'm...I'm..." Then, to the great surprise of both men, the woman's face brightened with a grin. Her blue eyes shined with a lecherous promise as she ran a hand up each of their chests. "I'm anyone you want me to be, lover." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX The following morning... XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Mulder woke up with a wallet in his hand and a little Hispanic boy picking his nose in front of him. "Hi," Mulder said because it only seemed polite. Reciprocating the politeness, the boy withdrew his finger, stuck a shiny green booger towards Mulder and said, "Want it?" A fat, gray-haired white woman appeared behind the boy. "Alejandro! If you don't stop bothering that man, I'll knock your eyeballs out!" The boy returned the finger back to his nostril, then wobbled away from Mulder. He headed for a doorway. The woman reached down and slapped his butt to make sure he went through. Mulder noticed that he was lying on a couch arranged in a living room. The woman smiled and said, "Morning, Agent Mulder. We have breakfast ready for you anytime you want to eat." "Um...I'm not entirely sure where I am right now..." "Doesn't surprise me. You were kind of frazzled last night." Mulder rubbed the stubble on his chin. "I was, wasn't I?" He looked at the woman and said, "You're Mrs. Carranza, right?" "You can call me Linda. Tomas thought you should be watched over and he brought you here." "That...that was very kind of him." "It was either here or Max's apartment. I don't think you're ready for that yet." "Uhhh, no." Mulder hauled himself up to a sitting position. He opened the wallet and saw the face of Dana Scully on a driver's license. "They found it lying on the sidewalk," Linda said quietly. 'Yes. I remember." "Tomas has just left for work. He said that he and Max will stop by later to update you on everything." Mulder nodded, still looking at the wallet. Then he folded it, stood up and said, "I think I'll have some breakfast now." Pancakes, bacon and orange juice were being served at a table in the kitchen. Alejandro was sitting at the table and eating. (He was no longer picking his nose. Mulder didn't want to think about where the booger went.) Also present at the table was a man in his mid-twenties. Judging from his short haircut, strong handshake and lean body, Mulder guessed the man to be in the military. He was right. The man was revealed to be Corporal Felix Carranza, son of Tomas and Linda as well as the father of the booger-picker. He was on leave from the Army and was visiting his parents with Alejandro while his wife was out of town. Mulder settled with the rest of the family into a quiet, leisurely breakfast. Five minutes later, Tomas and Miles showed up. "HIIIII-YA!" Felix leapt from his chair and threw a punch at Miles the minute he walked into the kitchen. Miles blocked it as well as the next one Felix threw. "You two take that outside or I'll grind your balls into dust," Linda warned. The two men left the room and he sound of battle-cries and thrown punches echoed from the front yard. Tomas saw the look on Mulder's face and said, "Felix does that every damn time he sees Max. He keeps trying to beat him in a fight even he keeps getting fucked up for his efforts." "Shouldn't you...try to stop them?" Mulder asked, glancing at Alejandro who was eating his pancakes with no change in his expression. "Let the dummy learn his lesson. He's just gonna have to accept that the faggot knows his karate better than he does." Tomas plopped his wide butt down onto a chair. Linda poured him a glass of orange juice as he said, "On to more important matters. Unfortunately, we still have had no luck in finding your partner." "What about the woman we saw in the apartment?" "No luck there, either." Mulder let out a breath. "All right. There are three things I want to do. "Number one -- I want to talk with Andy Antoine and find out just how he knew something was going to happen to Scully. "Number two -- I want to see Mr. Rogers and find out what we can squeeze out of him. "Number three -- I want to talk with Audrey Borg." "Her? What for?" "Because of something Scully said to me last night. Don't ask me what. But I want to make sure all my bases are covered." Carranza nodded, then observed the dark circles under Mulder's eyes. "You look like shit, Mulder." "So do you." "Yeah, but that's normal. Right, Linda?" "You are the shittiest-looking man I've ever met," Linda assured him. There was a crack from outside, then a thump. Miles walked back in with a sheepish look on his face. "I just knocked your son unconscious," he informed Carranza. "Aw, shit, not again, Max," Carranza said. "This time, *you* tell his wife." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX As he had expected, Oscar Hall had charmed everybody at the dinner function, made powerful new friends, got laid. Or, to be exact, the woman he took into his bed got laid. *He* certainly didn't feel laid. Oscar could satisfy a woman as easily as blowing his nose except that blowing his nose was more satisfying to him. (At least, he imagined that it would be. He had never had to do such a thing nor had he ever been sick.) Looking down at the woman in his bed, Oscar wondered why he ever brought her home. Because that was what he was supposed to do. He was supposed to seduce women and take them to the height of ecstasy. The same motivation applied to acquiring power. It was the thing he had been raised to do. His father expected him to become the most powerful man in the world. But what did Oscar Hall expect out of Oscar Hall? He didn't know. There were no ambitions in his head except what his father had implanted in there. As he looked at himself in the mirror and put on his clothes, he saw a mannequin -- handsome, empty, easy to manipulate. Even if he had the courage to defy his father's wishes, what would he do? As if he was answering his question, his father appeared behind him. "Get a fucking move on, Oscar. We've got work to do." Oscar sighed and buttoned up his shirt. "You should be careful about where you make an appearance," he said, indicating the sleeping woman. "Fuck her." Oscar's father smirked. "No, wait. You did that already, didn't you?" "Yes. I did." "Well, kick her ass out of here. There is important shit for you to get done. By the way, Mr. Rogers took care of that damn zobop. Or, rather, Sara Lee did." "So our problem is settled." "It's not settled until I say it's fucking settled. And I won't say it until your signature is on the lease for Jeremiah Bay." "I see. How did things go with Debra and Shelby?" The old man narrowed his eyes. "Is that supposed to be funny?" "I was just curious." Lowering his head, the old man grumbled at the floor. "Those two...the only one who gets my balls twisted up more is that waddling pack of blubber I created with my own black sperm and Debra's putrid ova. I was going to make him king of the damn world, but noooooo. He had to waste himself on his fucking appetites. Can't you imagine what would have happened if I had tried to get the world to obey that fat piece of shit? Motherfucker can barely form sentences, his brain is so tired from all the drugs he's snorted. Completely fucked up my plans, let me tell you." At least he had some fun, Oscar thought. He had seen the son created by Debra Hutchinson and his father. The look on John Hutchinson's face was continual hazy bliss. He wished that he could feel like that for just one moment. "I did the right thing with your mother," Oscar's father declared. "The moment you were born..." He snapped his fingers. "...right down the toilet." Oscar supposed that he should have felt angry. Yet he had long passed the point of feeling anger towards his father. The old man could never be anything other than who he was. In a way, he was trapped like his son. "Enough damn reminiscing. You gotta get to work. And you gotta make sure we get Jeremiah Bay." "Father...is Jeremiah Bay really that important?" The old man lifted his head and widened his eyes. "Are you kidding? Haven't you read the fucking prophecy?" "Of course I have, but obtaining Jeremiah Bay would only be the first step in a long series of necessary actions if...you know..." "Well, I know that, dammit! But it's still the first step. And I will take it just as I will take the next and the next and the next. I don't care if I have to walk across a billion corpses. I will complete the prophecy so I can stand before *him*..." The old man lifted a thin yet intimidating hand. "...and squeeze his balls until they burst. And that, my son, will be some fucking entertainment." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX TITLE: GONE TO FLORIDA (9 of 21) AUTHOR: DAVID HEARNE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX PART NINE LOVE IS IN THE AIR XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Audrey Borg stared at the phone on her desk. She stared at it for a long time. She didn't want to make this call. She had been up all last night, considering other options. No other options could be found. Nor could any be found right now. She sighed and reached for the phone. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Temp agencies had a hard time finding workers for Ass- Kickers, Inc. They tended to quit on the first day, if not within the first hour. One of the two problems in this area was the loud, rude, dented-head boss. The other problem was the huge men working there. *Huge* men. There was a minimum of 225 pounds for each of them. Some of them had more well-defined muscles but everyone of them had impressive mass. They also had blank faces with intent gazes as if they were looking at an exact point on your forehead. They didn't speak much but every once and while a voice would be raised, usually in anger. "Which one of you assholes forgot to put toner in the copier?" "Who the fuck filed this phone bill in the advertising folder?" "A full pot of coffee! That's all I fucking ask for! When I go into the break room, I want to be able to pour myself a goddamned cup of coffee!" This would usually be the prelude to two or three or four men charging at each other, tussling, bouncing off the walls, slugging, head-butting. At this point, the temp would be running out the door without getting his time-card signed. November Sun once asked Morgan why didn't he just hire your standard group of middle-aged women as office workers. "Hell," Morgan said. "I got to give the stupid sods some kind of employment before I can get them beatin' the shit out of each other for money." Most of the time, Morgan would overlook the fighting that broke out in the offices of Ass-Kickers, Inc. Not the day after Estime got killed, though. When he entered the front foyer, he found Dan 'The Cobra' Langfield spread out on the magazine table with Jason 'Devastator' Sears on top of him. "Don't you ever use my liquid paper without asking first!" 'The Cobra' yelled as he beat 'Devastor' in the face. "Ever!" Morgan gave 'The Cobra' a kick in the ribs, forcing him off 'Devastator.' 'The Cobra' hollered as he clutched his side. "Ow, boss! Why did you..." "I don't want to deal with any fuckin' shit today! You two spread the word that Constantine Morgan wants every cunt in these offices to do their work and nothin' else! That clear?" Both 'The Cobra' and 'Devastator' were larger than their boss. However, the Englishman had fire in his eyes and the dent in his head was pulsing in a scary way. "Yes, sir," they both said. After slamming the door to his office, Morgan dropped into a chair behind his desk and fumed some more. Whipping Chairman Burns had not exorcised his rage. That fuckin' space-cadet November Sun better find a way of making this voodoo shit work, he thought. Or I'll take one of those crystals hanging around his neck and shove it... His phone rang. "What?" he yelled after he picked up the receiver. "Uh...Mr. Morgan?" "That's who you're talkin' to, bitch, and you better have a good reason for takin' up his time." The caller cleared her throat and said, "My name is Audrey Borg. You probably remember me from one of the public meetings of the Zoning Commission." "Oh, yeah," Morgan said, remembering the bird who was advocating for those silly old buggers that wanted to keep Jeremiah Bay. Good-looking woman for a darkie. "So, whatcha want?" "From what I understand...you are now the front-runner for obtaining Jeremiah Bay." "Uh...yeah," Morgan said, curious as to this woman's game. "Yeah, I am." "In the past, I have found Hall Enterprises unwilling to reach some kind of compromise in regards to my group. I was hoping that you would be agreeable." "Look, lady..." "Audrey." "Look, Audrey, you do know what I want to build here, right? It's an arena for extreme fightin', not some bloody rest home." "Perhaps if we have a meeting, you'll be able to see another alternative." "Now, wait..." "I think you'll find that I am willing to negotiate on just about...anything." Morgan could almost feel the warmth of Audrey's breath on that last word. "Anythin'?" he said. "Any...thing." "Hmmm. Well, come on over in about an hour. That'll be okay?" "It'll be fine." After Morgan hung up the phone, he started to smile. Nothing like the promise of a fuck to brighten your day. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX "They're up in my apartment," Andy said. "Who?" "The marassa." Mulder ransacked his knowledge of voodoo and came up with the meaning of 'marassa.' Divine twins. He took another look at Andy who stood behind the counter of The Café-Mystere. Andy kept fidgeting and rubbing his hands. Mulder walked through the shop, passing by the voodoo charms, potions and books arranged on the shelves. He knew enough about voodoo to recognize a few fakes. Apparently, Andy wasn't above gypping the tourists. He found the stairs leading up to Andy's apartment. The door at the top wasn't locked. The inside of Andy's apartment matched Mulder's predictions -- unmade bed, piles of clothes in the corner, opened bags of chips, posters of Lucy Lawless and Renee O'Connor, an incredibly powerful computer sitting in the corner. They were sitting together on a bean-bag, watching cartoons on a television with videos like "The Matrix" and "Aeon Flux" stacked on it. They turned their heads to him and said, "Hello." Mulder paused, then said, "Hi," and closed the door. He sat on the floor next to them. "So...where do you come from?" "Mississippi," the black girl said. "Long walk," Mulder observed. "Do you have any parents who know you're here?" "They knew we were leaving," the white girl said. "They knew we would be safe," the black girl assured Mulder. "Well...good, then." On the screen, Daffy Duck got his bill re-arranged by a shotgun blast. "So, how did you know Scully was in trouble?" Mulder asked. "We hear things," the white girl said. "True things," the black girl explained. "And what do you hear now?" The twins looked at each other. They touched their foreheads together and closed their eyes, keeping still for a minute. When they pulled back and opened their eyes, the white girl said, "The Book of Asabel." "Ask the Seniors to tell you about the Book of Asabel," the black girl concluded. "Okay. Anything else I should know?" "A lot more." "But we can't tell you yet." "Figures," Mulder said. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Whenever Mulder and Scully went out of D.C. on assignment, Skinner expected something fucked-up to happen and something fucked-up usually did. This time, Scully had disappeared. Again. Mulder had called him up at mid-goddamned-night and told him about this. He also explained that he suspected voodoo was involved. Again. With no little weariness, Skinner scheduled a quick flight to Miami. It was another one of the moments in his life when his job seemed more trouble than it was worth. He found himself considering paths not taken before. Where would he be if not here? What would he be doing? Who would he have met? Could he have met someone who would be there with him, giving him strength to counter his weakness? Had he lost someone special and didn't even know it? Oh, enough of this bullshit, he thought. Scully was missing. Time to start breaking heads. He got some sleep on the late-night plane ride to Miami. As the engine hummed outside in the darkness, a dream came to him. In the dream, he saw an angel ; a honest-to- goodness angel with wings and a bright glow and all that crap. Its back was turned to him. He called out. It started to turn around. Of course, he woke up. The smiling stewardess had touched him on the shoulder. "Welcome to Miami, sir," she said as sunlight blazed through the window. "I love this city. No snow." So fucking what? Skinner thought. They didn't have any snow in Vietnam either and it didn't strike him as being a particularly grand place to stay in. He went to a public phone in the airport and made a call to Mulder. "Mulder." "It's me, Skinner. I'm in Miami. Anything new?" "I'm afraid not. There's..." A weird rubber sound came from Mulder's end. Skinner recognized it as the sound of a cartoon person getting struck by a mallet. "Mulder, where are you now?" "I'm...talking with a source." Before Skinner could ask questions, Mulder said, "Sir, could you do a favor for me?" Skinner sighed. "Just what might that be?" "The dead zobop Scully and I found...we believe he was working for a man named Constantine Morgan. I imagine right now he's a bit on-edge. I need you to go down there and see if you can shake him up a bit more." "Why me?" "Because he's something of a tough guy." "That so?" Skinner smiled a little. "Well...tough guys are always fun." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX While Mulder was talking with Sue and Etta, Miles and Carranza went to talk with Mr. Rogers. It turned out to be a very one-sided chat. To every question they asked, Mr. Rogers would respond, "I cannot say to have any knowledge on that subject." He just sat in the chair of his simple, blandly furnished office and look back at the two detectives with a simple, bland expression. Finally, Carranza could take no more. He slammed his fist on Mr. Rogers' desk and said, "Quit shitting us already, will you? Jean Estime was killed in the same ugly way as Sands was. And he was killed for the same reason. Because he was threatening your interests." "Really? And just how he was doing that?" "He was..." Carranza stopped. He looked back at Miles. His partner raised an eyebrow. Carranza turned back to Mr. Rogers. "Look, consider this, okay? They struck you, you struck back. Do you know what happens next, fuckface?" "I really can't say." "It's your turn to get hit. Are you ready for that?" Mr. Rogers sat without talking for a few moments, pressing his hands together over his stomach. Then he said, "Do you have any more questions?" Carranza stuffed a cigar into his mouth, lit it and said, "Nope. Fresh out. See you later, Mr. Rogers...maybe." After he and Miles left the offices of Rogers Real Estate, Carranza said, "We oughtta keep an eye on him." "Feeling protective?" "Fuck, no. But I'm tired of these assholes waging a war in my town. And if we can catch somebody in the attempt of nailing Mr. Rogers' ass, then maybe it can lead us to Hall Enterprises." "Agreed." Miles paused, then said, "You know, you came very close to saying..." "Shut up, Max." Back in his office, Mr. Rogers was still sitting in his chair with a blank face. He didn't look at the closet which opened up or at the woman in animal skins who stepped out. "He was right, ya know. Those sumbitches Morgan and Sun are gonna figger out a way to kill ya." "Absolutely." "I better stay close to..." "No. Not with the police watching me. I was having a hard time keeping calm with you in the closet there." Sara Lee grinned her black teeth. She climbed onto the desk and stretched her lean body towards Mr. Rogers until their faces were close to touching. "Ah doubt it. Yer the coolest man ah ever met. You could look into the face of the devil hisself and not break a sweat." "Thank you. Still we can't risk it. You should stay low for awhile. And we should stay apart." Sara Lee ran one of her sunburnt hands over the lower lip of Mr. Rogers. "Ah don't like it when we're apart," she whispered. A smile came and went on Mr Rogers' face. "Neither do I," he said, touching her on the hand. "However, it's for the best. Besides, I'll be able to take care of myself." Sara Lee's face darkened. "Ah hope so. If anythin' happens to ya, ah will rip off the cocks of Sun and Morgan, then sew 'em back on the wrong person." "I don't doubt you would." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Meyer Burnside played his guitar and wondered about the red-head taking a shower next door. He had seen a few odd things on this tour with his uncle A.C. and even odder things back in his hometown of Final, Mississippi. This woman, though... When they checked into the hotel, he was worried about that the woman might be perceived as a groupie. (There had been a fair amount of opportunities for poontang on this tour, but Meyer didn't hold with any of that shit. Besides, A.C. or his dad would have kicked his ass for indulging in any of it.) After the woman flirted with the desk clerk, the baggage carriers and everybody else in the lobby, Meyer got the feeling that he and A.C. were *her* groupies. He was grateful that they were able to find an extra hotel room for the woman. Neither him, A.C. or their drummer wanted to spend a night with her. "Oh, come on, little boys," she cooed. "You're not going to leave me alone in the dark?" That's precisely what they were going to do and lock their own damn doors as well. There were certain moral considerations to be taken into account here. You just don't take advantage of a woman who can't remember her name or what she had been doing for the past twenty-four hours, no matter how wide her legs were spread. Besides... "That woman is crazy like a mammy-fucker," A.C. observed. "And I bet you she's got more crabs in her pussy than the bays off Nantucket." Still, Meyer thought as he strummed his guitar. She's a looker, no doubt about it. I bet I wasn't the only one doing some rollin' and tumblin' in my sheets last night. The shower turned off next door. That's when Meyer heard another sound. As he picked a note on his guitar, he heard the same note from the other hotel room. The woman was humming it; duplicating it with perfect pitch. He looked to the walls separating them and played another note. Again, she hummed the note. He followed this up with a simple melody. She did the same feat again, only she stretched out the final note to a sound like the fading chord of a wind chime. "Well, I'll be fucked like a duck out on his luck," Meyer said. Someone knocked on his door -- pounded, really. That had to be A.C. It was. His uncle marched in and tossed a pair of jeans, a "We Love Miami" t-shirt and a couple of sandals onto the bed. "This is for her," he said. "Well, she's right next door. Why don't you just give them to her? Or are you afraid?" "Don't be a smart-ass mammy-fucker, Meyer." Meyer shrugged. "So, what do we do next?" "Do? We do what we should have fucking done last night, goddammit. Turn that woman over to the police. Or the hospital. Or the mammy-fucking looney bin." "She didn't want to go anywhere except with us." Meyer lifted an eyebrow. "Think she likes you?" "Nephew, that girl likes everything that moves on legs. I don't wanna deal with her shit! We're trying to run a professional musician's tour here!" "So we're still going ahead with tonight's performance." "Shit, yes. I ain't passing through Florida without stopping at that restaurant. Man, the food there was so good..." Knock, knock. A.C. went to the door, looked through the peephole and his eyes widened. He yanked open the door, then yanked in the red-haired woman. She was wet and only wearing a towel. "Woman, who you think you are, only wearing a mammy-fucking towel in the middle of..." The red-head laughed, holding up the towel with one hand. Her laughter was so carefree that it drove A.C. into silence. (No easy task.) She saw the clothes on the bed. She scooped up the T-shirt with one finger and raised an eyebrow at A.C. "Oh, come on. I think I deserve better than this..." "Look, woman..." A.C. started to say. "...especially since I'm going to be your new singer." There was a silence in the room so deep that it was like the aural reverse of an atomic blast. It was only broken when A.C. said in a low, low voice, "What?" "Well, you are a blues band, right?" "Uh, yes," Meyer said. "Yes, we are." "Then you better get some nicer clothes for me." "Now...wait...just...a...mammy-fucking...minute," A.C. said. "We've been pretty damn nice to you, woman. And we've overlooked the fact that you must be nuttier than a drunk mule. But if you think you can just walk in and become our new singer, then..." "Actually, she can sing," Meyer said. "I heard her." A.C. glared at Meyer, ready to rip him a million new holes. The red-head prevented this from happening by saying "Besides..." and spreading the towel off her body. "...don't you think that this deserves better?" A.C. and Meyer forgot every single word of the English language. The red-head let them watch for a few second before she re-wrapped the towel. "Now you go out and get me something nice," she told A.C. as she patted him on the cheek. Then she walked out the door, singing "Ain't nobody's business if I do..." A.C. looked at Meyer. His nephew had a kind, understanding face, but was inclined to be solemn. At that moment, however, he had the biggest grin A.C. had ever seen. "She's neat," Meyer said. "Can we keep her?" XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX