From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: 3 Jul 2002 04:56:52 -0000
Subject: Good Days and Bad Days by FatCat
Source: direct

Reply To: FatCat926@msn.com


Title:         Good Days and Bad Days
               Finished 6/28/02

Author:        FatCat (feedback to FatCat926@msn.com)
               
Rating:        G - But read it anyway!

Category:      V MSR, mild Scully angst, AU 

Spoilers:      Takes off into left field after Requiem

Archive:       As you wish, but please keep my name attached.

Summary:       Scully makes a new friend while Mulder's gone.

Disclaimer:    Everyone belongs to CC, Fox, and 1013 except for
               Casey.  She and Zack are all mine.
               
Author's Notes:  This is a little vignette to stretch my wings.
               A little relief from the New Angst with the Old 
               Angst seemed in order.

               Again, Thank you to Frohike for the excellent,
               honest, beta help she gives so generously.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

'Damn! This has to be one of the worst days of my life.'  I thought
as I stood staring at the files scattered on the floor.  I 
sighed and stooped to retrieve the papers, fussing at my own 
clumsiness.  As I worked I saw a pair of singularly ugly women's
shoes walk into my line of vision and stop before me.

I looked up into the eyes of the owner of the shoes as she stooped
to help pick up the scattered documents.

"It's okay.  I have the same level of clearance as you do, Agent
Scully,"  she said as she handed the gathered sheets to me.

My eyes dipped to her badge, which was hanging on a chain that 
appeared to have been taken off a basement light fixture and held 
together by what looked like a shoestring tied in a series of knots.
The name line read "K. M. Cooper, Special Agent".

"Thank you Agent Cooper,"  I said diffidently as I rose.  The act
of stooping was becoming increasingly difficult as my pregnancy 
progressed.

Agent Cooper held out her hand for a formal handshake.  "You're 
welcome.  Call me Casey.  Everyone does."  

I shifted the files from my right arm to my left and stiffly offered
my hand to shake with hers.  Our eyes fell to our clasped hands.  
It was a genuine handshake-warm, firm, and confident.  As I looked
up to her face, I was surprised at how tall the woman in front of
me actually was.

"Nice to meet you Casey.  Please call me Dana.  Are you new to DC?"

"Yep, just transferred in from Texas.  I'm really looking forward
to this change.  You know, a fresh start, new challenges, and new 
friends."  She smiled to indicate she felt she had just met one.

I drew in a sharp breath and tried to read any sarcasm or innuendo
in her words.  Few of my fellow women agents and even fewer of the 
support staffers had shown any interest in being friends with 
Mrs. Spooky, especially now that Mulder was gone.  I saw nothing in
her eyes except open friendliness.  I was suddenly ashamed of my 
suspicion.  'Not everyone has a hidden agenda or is part of the
conspiracy, Dana!'  I chided myself.

It could have been the stooping and rising or just the fact I had
not had eaten since last night, but I suddenly started to feel as
if I were going to faint.  I made a strangled noise in the back of
my throat as I began to crumple to the ground, everything turning
black.

A pair of strong arms circled my shoulders and I found myself being
propelled to the nearest cubicle and plopped in the chair like a
child's toy.

"Being a 'big gal' sometimes has its advantages," Casey said as 
she fanned my face with one of the file folders.  "How far along 
are you?  I always hated the "swooning" as my Zack called it.  
I would rather have had morning sickness."

"I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean."  I said to her coolly.

"Oh." she said, but her contemplative look held a world of meaning.

"I'm sorry.  I thought I heard you were pregnant.  It must have 
been someone else they were talking about."  She smacked her head
and said with a rueful smile, "That's what you get when you listen
to gossip-embarrassed!"

At her mention of gossip, I could feel my face crumple and the 
tears begin.  I was so tired of fighting-my fears about Mulder's 
safety, my family's anger over my unwed but pregnant state, the 
smug and knowing looks and innuendo I had had to face since 
Mulder's disappearance.  I was usually able to ignore it, but 
it was suddenly too much.  Damn these hormones.

"Hey, Dana, it's okay.  I'm sorry."  Her eyes filled with tears 
of compassion.

"Sorry for what, Casey?"  A catty voice said as a group of female
agents and secretaries turned the corner and halted in front of 
the cubicle where I was sitting.

"Yeah, what have you done now, Agent Cooper?"  A second voice 
said with a snicker.  

I couldn't believe my bad luck today.  Not only was I losing it 
in public, but Darlene, the biggest gossip in the entire office, 
and her pack of groupies were now witness to the scene.  Every 
woman in this group had made a play for Mulder at one time or 
another.  They had made it perfectly clear that they were out for 
blood when it came to dealing with me now that Mulder wasn't there
to intercede.

"Oh, I just was apologizing to Dana for knocking her down as we 
rounded the corner.  Are you all right?  It must have hurt when I 
plowed into you-you have tears in your eyes."  She looked me 
directly in the eye as she lied to the other women.

I fibbed right back, surprised at how easily the lie came to my
lips.  "I...I'm fine.  I knocked my elbow into the corner there.
No harm done."

"Got to watch out for her Agent Scully, she's dangerous.  She's
already wiped out the entire supply of coffee cups in the 
lunchroom today."

"Yeah, I have to hand it to you Agent Cooper.  I haven't seen 
anything that spectacular for weeks."

The group of women all laughed as Agent Cooper blushed and 
laughed softly with them.

"Yeah, I guess I did make a mess there."  She shrugged.  "Agent 
Scully, let me make up for this mishap and take you to lunch."

The entire gang twittered as she spoke.  They knew that she hadn't
been around long enough to know that I was a social leper.  They 
felt this was another example of her gauche, unsophisticated 
behavior and even more reason to make her the brunt of their jokes.
She gave them such an easy target they had lost interest in me 
and moved on-each one trying to top the other with their version 
of the story of Agent Cooper's experience in the lunchroom. 

One of them said just loud enough to be overheard,  "I called my 
friend Natalie in Houston, and she gave me a whole bunch of 
'Casey's Capers'..."  The laughter of the women as they moved on 
down the aisle became lower and definitely more catty as other 
stories about the new agent were exchanged.

I rose to stand next to Agent Cooper.

"Thank you."  I said as I touched her on the sleeve.  

She turned to me and smiled  "No problem.  I'm glad I could help.
After all, I was the one that caused the tears to begin with."  
She looked back down the aisle at the retreating backs of the women.
There was an unmistakable look of longing on her face.

I couldn't help but think of Mulder as I watched her looking at 
them.  She had the same nobility of character that had led Mulder 
to rescue me a hundred times and the same ability to get into 
trouble and need rescuing herself that he had constantly displayed.
Only the lingering desire to belong, to fit in, was different.

"Hey, how about that lunch?"  I asked.

She turned to me with surprise in her dark gray eyes.  "Lunch?"

"Yes, I need to eat and I could use some company."

Her smile was wide and brought beauty to her face.

"Just let me grab my bag.  I'll meet you at the elevators to the
parking garage, 'kay?"

I nodded and smiled back at her.  I turned to go back down to my 
office.  When I stepped onto the elevator I realized she was still
staring at me-a look of gratitude on her face.  "Five minutes."  
I said as the door closed and she grinned.

When I reach the office to grab my purse, Agent Doggett was there.

"Hey, I was wondering where you were.  Want to go grab some 
lunch?"  He said as he rose to put his suit coat back on.

"No, thanks, Agent Doggett.  I have a lunch date with a friend."  
I said, suddenly sure that Agent Cooper-Casey-and I were going to 
be friends.

We drove away from the Hoover Building and down into a quiet 
backwater area of DC.  I had been here many times with Mulder for 
lunch.  The food was good, inexpensive, and plentiful.  The setting
was private enough that we could talk without worrying about 
someone from work overhearing our conversation.  I did not want 
anyone to hear me discuss my pregnancy with Casey and I had the 
feeling that she probably felt the same way about her personal life.

As we ordered and settled back to drink our iced tea and talk, I 
began to feel shy.  Casey was quiet.

Casey smiled sadly as she looked me directly in the eye and said, 
"I guess you didn't want to be seen with me after that little 
exhibition back there, and I don't blame you.  Not too many people 
want their names connected with mine."

I must have been staring at her as if she had grown a second head
because she quickly continued.

"I thought I would be able to start again and my past would be 
left behind in Houston.  They promised me that I would have 
nothing on my record and I believed them.  What they didn't reckon
with was the power of the whispered word."

When I didn't respond to her remarks, she picked up her purse and
started to slide out of the booth.  "Maybe it's best if I just get
a cab back to work."

"Casey" I said as I put my hand on her forearm to stop her.  "What
in the world are you talking about?"

"This place.  It's so private.  I know you brought me here because 
you didn't want anyone to see us together."

"You're right, I brought you here because it is private.  I am a 
private person.  When I discuss my life-especially with a new 
friend-I don't want the gossip patrol around."  I said with a 
conspiratorial grin.

"Dana, I'm sorry.  I guess I was jumping to conclusions based on 
past experience."  She seemed relieved.

"Good, that's settled.  Why don't you tell me about your morning."

"Is that a polite way to ask what happened in the lunch room?"  
Her eyes sparkled.

My nod was met with a soft puff of air from pursed lips.

"Dana, I think I better start at the beginning."  She hesitated 
searching my face for a nameless clue before continuing.  "I want 
to be honest with you.  I was watching you this morning when you 
dropped your papers.  I was looking for an opening-a chance to 
introduce myself.  I've heard about your work on the X-Files.  I 
actually have followed it pretty closely.  As closely as an outsider
can, I guess."  She stopped to appraise my reaction.

"What is your interest in the X-Files?"  I asked warily.

She stopped talking when the waitress appeared with our food.  As 
soon as she was gone Casey began again.

"Dana, any time two agents can bag a solve/completion ratio 
in the 90th percentile, everyone should sit up and take note-at 
least everyone who wants to improve their own solve ratio."

"Okay, how about this.  Why don't we just get to know each other
for a while and let things develop naturally?"  I said, as our 
waitress appeared briefly to refill our tea.

She smiled with relief and began to wolf down her food. "That 
sounds great."

I must have given her more of a surprised look than I thought 
because she sudden stopped and put her sandwich down.

"Sorry.  I'm not used to eating my lunch with someone.  I usually 
wolf down some food and get back to work as quickly as possible."

"I understand that," I said as I cut up my salad and began eating.  
"I usually just get some kind of carryout salad for lunch and never 
get to finish it before work intrudes."

"Do you miss him?"

I paused with my fork half way to my mouth, staring at her.

"I know it's none of my business, but I've read the reports.  Your 
partner, Fox Mulder, do you miss him?"

I put my fork down and took a sip of tea, collecting my thoughts.

"Agent Cooper, Casey, I am a private person.  My life has been 
subjected to too much public speculation lately.  If we are to 
become friends, I would appreciate it if you allowed that friendship
to develop before you begin prying into my personal affairs."

A blank look claimed her face.  It suddenly changed to one of 
surprise.  I could tell the minute she realized what I meant-just 
about the same second I realized she was asking if I missed my
PARTNER.

A small giggle escaped my lips.  It was met with an answering 
snicker that escalated into a belly laugh and soon we were both
laughing so hard all the normally uncaring people in the diner
were craning their necks to see what the joke was all about.

I had maintained the facade of the Ice Queen-the Enigmatic Dr. 
Scully for so long in front of those that knew me before Mulder 
was abducted.  I couldn't believe that I spilled my guts to the 
first friend I had tried to make in years.

"Dana, I'm sorry.  I truly was asking about your "partner" being
missing.  I can see why you wanted to eat somewhere there are no
prying eyes and ears now."

Another few bites of food disappeared while each of us searched
for the way to continue.

"How long have you been with the FBI?"  I asked, thinking that 
this at least would be a safe topic.

She smiled as she recognized my ploy.

"I joined the Marines when I was 18.  It was the ultimate rebellion.
I thought I had found a home, but I soon realized I was wrong.  All
I had found was a vehicle to find my place in this world."  A sad 
smile hovered on her lips.

"I was raised in Oregon.  My parents were for lack of a better word,
hippies.  My real name is Kid Morningstar-rising Cooper.  Go ahead, 
you can laugh.  Lord knows I would if it wasn't me that was stuck 
with this moniker.  My parents couldn't agree on what to name me.  
My mother was really into the whole hippie drug/sex/love scene and 
my dad was a big western fan.  They used to tease me about finding 
me under their Volkswagen bus in Tempe, Arizona."

"My...partner, Fox Mulder, would surely commiserate with you about
names.  He hated his first name.  I can see why you would choose
Casey."

She nodded and continued, "I don't remember much about the early 
years, but we moved constantly when I was growing up-one commune to
the next.  I don't know how, but my dad got his hands on a few 
thousand dollars and finally bought some land in Oregon.  They made
a comfortable living selling the pots my mom made and the 'pot' my 
dad grew to the tourists and the locals.  I wanted out as far back
as I could remember.  I would fantasize about having been adopted 
and my real family was searching frantically for me.  I made up this
entire family history-lifestyle, siblings, even a different name.  
It helped me survive.  I did well in school and when I joined the 
Marines I thought I was finally going to have the structure and 
discipline I needed in my life."  She rolled her eyes as the 
waitress brought back the huge piece of chocolate cake, vanilla ice
cream and whipped cream confection she had ordered for dessert.

"What happened?"  I asked, suddenly more interested in her narrative 
than I had been in anything outside the search for Mulder and my 
personal little X-File in a long time.

"I quickly realized...about week two of boot camp...that what had 
looked like structure and discipline on the outside of the base fence
was actually rigidity and fear of loss of control over every living 
and breathing soul subjected to their rules."  A small smile of 
self-deprecation flitted across her face.

"My Drill Sergeant thought he had me on the way out.  I wasn't going 
to play the game, until I realized what the real stakes were in the
game-my college education.  I wasn't going to let them mold me into 
one of their unthinking little toy soldiers, but I was going to let 
them think they had succeeded-at least for the next four years-and I 
could escape and use the GI bill to get the college education I 
wanted so desperately."

"I used everything to which I was subjected to make me strong.  I 
developed an incredibly strong body and a mental discipline that I 
still utilize.  They thought they had the perfect gyrene and I 
laughed all the way to the bank each payday."

"Why did you join the FBI?"  I asked.

"Like I said, I was incredibly strong for a woman and being tall 
and, um, shall we say, noticeable, I was picked to go the MP 
training.  I had hoped to be placed in the hospital or the motor 
pool..."  she stopped, noting the amused expression on my face.  
"Yeah, I know, not exactly similar interests."  She smiled at me.

"I tried everything I could do to get out of the MP training, but 
I was stuck.  I aced the work, graduated at the top of the class 
in both the educational and physical training.  Somewhere along 
the way, I realized I actually liked what I was doing."

"Surprised you, huh?"  I found myself smiling.

"Yeah.  After I graduated, I realized I could attribute my 
interest to one of my instructors.  He made me realize that 
the military police did more than break up riots and bar fights.
We were often a fact-finding unit for court marshal investigations
and criminal court cases involving military personnel.  I was 
hooked."  Both agents continued to eat for a moment.

"That still doesn't explain how you became FBI."  

"Well, this part is a lot harder, Dana."  Casey put down her fork 
and took a long drink of tea before continuing.

"I did well in the Marines, after I found my niche.  I probably 
would have been a lifer if I hadn't have met Zack."

A look of longing crossed her face before she continued.  
"Zackery Taylor was another marine-a lawyer assigned to a case
I was investigating.  He was positive his client was innocent.
No one believed that the lowly corporal was not guilty, 
especially when the word of a full-bird colonel was against him.
But Zack poked and prodded and pried through all the information 
and the witnesses until he cracked through to the truth and won 
his case."  Casey had a bemused expression on her face.

"He was the most magnificent man I had ever met.  His morals, his 
intelligence, his soul was light years above anyone I had known 
before.  It didn't hurt that he was physically drop-dead gorgeous.
I fell like a ton of bricks."

"Did you marry right away?"  I asked.

Casey's lips quirked into a grin.  "Marry him?  I couldn't even
breath when I was around him, let alone speak to him.  Oh, I was 
okay when we were working on the case.  I am able to put on as 
good a game face as anyone.  But the few times I saw him away 
from work, you know - the BX, the running track, the officer's 
club I was incapable of speech.  He didn't know I existed as far 
as I could tell."

She took another drink of tea and continued.  "But you know, we 
kept running into each other.  I was assigned to a couple cases 
of his and I thought it was just the luck of the draw.  I would 
see him three, maybe four time a week at first, then we developed 
this sort of buddy relationship and I was bumping into him two, 
three times a day.  I don't think I ever would have caught on if it 
had been up to me."

I quirked my eyebrow and stared at her, questioning why she stopped.

She was grinning sheepishly now.  "I've never told anyone else 
this story, Dana.  I don't know why I'm spilling my guts to you 
like this."

"I think everyone needs someone to confide in occasionally, Casey.
Nothing you tell me will go beyond this table."

"Oh, I know that Dana, or I wouldn't have opened my mouth about 
my personal life.  I'm, it's, okay, here it is.  I was at the 
fitness center late one night, and decided to take a swim after 
lifting.  When I got to my locker I remembered that my suit was 
in my laundry bag back in my room.  All I had to wear was a bikini 
that someone had anonymously given to me as a joke.  Something 
about not knowing that they made them that big was on the note.  
I really wanted that swim, so I suited up and walked to the pool."

She blushed as she said, "I had never worn a bikini before.  I have 
always been so self-conscious of being big that I tried to hide as 
much of my body as possible.  I got to the pool and dropped the 
towel I had wrapped around me.  I heard a choking sound and 
whipped around.  There stood Zack.  He had on a green Speedo and 
looked good enough to eat.  I was mortified.  I turned to run, but 
before I could take a step, he was there behind me.  He put his 
hands on my shoulders and turned me around."

She sighed.  "We were face to face.  He didn't say anything.  He 
just stood there looking into my eyes, holding me by my shoulders.
I couldn't speak, I was so humiliated I thought I was going to die.
At the same time, I was so turned on by his body, I thought I 
wasn't going to die fast enough.  Do you know what I mean?"

I just nodded my head with a small smile, but it was enough to 
encourage her to go on. 

"He didn't say a word.  I couldn't say a word.  We stood there 
with our eyes locked until I couldn't stand it anymore and looked 
down.  I, uh, couldn't believe my eyes.  He was standing there 
with the biggest erection I'd ever seen tenting his Speedo.  I 
whipped my eyes back up to his and all he could do was shrug and 
grin."  Casey was grinning now.  "Here he was, this magnificent 
man, one of the most articulate lawyers I had ever had the pleasure
of watching in court and he was as tongue-tied as I was."  Casey
began to chuckle at the memory.

I smiled and asked, "Were you two able to talk to each other then?"

Casey tilted her head and flashed a sideways look at me.  I sucked
in my breath.  She reminded me of Mulder when she did that.

"We didn't say more then a few words to each other for the next 
three days.  I don't think we opened the door on our hotel room 
for more than room service and clean linen for a week.  We were 
able to communicate just fine, but we never did have that talk 
until just before we got married."

"Oh, you are married?"  She had surprised me.

"I was."  An intense look of sadness washed over her.  "We were 
happy for three years.  It was difficult being married and in the 
service, but we worked things out.  We didn't get to work together
anymore, but at least we were together at night."

I placed my hand gently on Casey's forearm and squeezed.  "What 
happened?"

"No one knows.  He was transferred to San Diego-that's where he 
was from originally.  I put in for my transfer, but for some reason,
it was held up.  He and the kids left for San Diego without me.  
His mom still lived there and she was going to watch the kids until
I got my papers.  He called from the motel one night and then I 
never heard from them again."

"You had children?"

"Yeah, Irish twins.  I was pregnant before we ever walked out of 
the motel room the first time with Mark and ten months later,
I had Mary."

"And your children disappeared too?"  A shiver of fear slid down 
my back.

"Oh, Dana, I guess I wasn't clear.  They didn't disappear.  I know
what happened-I just don't know who did it to them.  They found the
car wreck along the road in New Mexico.  The kids and Zack were 
dead.  Even though there were plenty clues and tire marks, there 
was no sign of the other driver.  They know it was a semi, but 
without a witness or a confession, they never found the individual
responsible.  I wanted answers and no one could or would give them 
to me.  I guess I stepped on enough toes that I was given an 
honorable discharge when I requested it.  I thought if I finished 
college and joined the FBI I could find some answers about their 
deaths."

"But you haven't?"  I asked.

"No, I've run into one dead end after another.  The 'Casey's Capers'
the rumor herd referred to is what my career has laughingly been 
dubbed.  Now, anything I do that is the least bit beyond normal, 
anything gauche or weird or foolish, is just another joke about
Casey."

I shook my head.  "Don't do this to yourself, Casey.  I heard 
that you were an excellent investigator and that's why you've 
been transferred to DC."

Casey was intrigued by my statement.  "Oh, yeah?  Who did you 
hear that from?"  

"AD Skinner.  He told me he was receiving a transferred Agent 
and asked that I consider you for my replacement when I go on 
maternity leave."

"Wow, no kidding?"  They were silent for a few moments.

"So when will this maternity leave start, Dana?"  Casey gently 
pried.

I smiled.  "I don't know.  I want to stay active as long as 
possible.  I need to find Mulder.  I don't trust anyone else
to look for him."

"I, uh, I heard that he disappeared while on a case.  Is that true?"

I sighed.  "Yes.  He disappeared in Bellefluer, Oregon while 
investigating a possible crash site of a UFO."  I looked directly 
into Casey's eyes and realized that they had turned color.  Her 
eyes were hazel like Mulders only more grey than green.

Casey knew she was being tested somehow, but could only give her
honest response.  "Was he abducted?  Were there witnesses?"

"Yes, he was abducted, and Assistant Director Skinner was with him 
when he disappeared.  They were searching for the downed craft in 
the woods when Mulder vanished.  Skinner was looking for him when 
he saw the UFO appear and take off.  He assumes, as do I, that 
Mulder was on the UFO."

Casey was quiet for a few moments, idly stirring her tea.  "How 
does one find someone that's no longer on this planet, Dana?"

"Well, since this one wasn't covered in the manual, I've been 
winging it."  I gave her a small smile.  "I've been following 
every John Doe lead reported to the Bureau, but I have a new 
partner and I am expected to continue with my regular job.  They 
are watching me.  They are looking for a way to get rid of me just
like they did Mulder.  They want to close the X-Files permanently."

Casey's look of surprise forced me to continue.  "Oh, I know how
paranoid that sounds.  But believe me, it's true."

"But why do you think they will return Mulder?"  Casey was 
intrigued. 
 
"There has been a lot of reported UFO activity in the west during 
the last few months.  Many of the abductees have been found 
hundreds of miles from the original site of their abduction."  I 
sipped my tea and continued.  "I have friends outside the Bureau
who are pursuing many non-traditional leads."  I sighed.

"I don't know that Mulder will be returned.  I can only pray that 
it will happen.  I... I feel he's alive, and as long as this 
feeling persists, I will continue to look for him."

We were both quiet as we finished our lunch.

"Dana, I don't know if I can do anything to help you find Mulder, 
but if I turn anything up, I will certainly let you know.  I've 
accepted another transfer to New York to work with a new Domestic
Terrorism unit.  I did a little work for them in Houston and I am
excited about being in on the ground floor of a new team.  I wish
we had talked before and I could have requested the X-Files."

I was sorry to hear that I had made a new friend just to lose her 
again so quickly.

"Casey, I'm sorry to hear that.  I haven't had another women to 
talk to since my sister died."

"Well, nothing says you can't pick up the phone and give me a 
call!  I don't sleep much, so anytime, day or night will be fine 
with me."

Once again I was reminded of Mulder.  I think he will like Casey 
when they meet.

"So, Dana.  I've spilled my life story to you.  Interested in 
having lunch tomorrow and you can tell me all your embarrassing, 
gory details?"  Casey wiggled her eyebrows at me and I had to 
laugh.  She reminded me so much of Mulder when she did that.

Suddenly, it hit me like a ton of bricks.  "I can't tomorrow, 
but how about Saturday?  We could go out to lunch and I could 
introduce you to the friends that are helping me look for Mulder."

If my suspicions were correct, Mulder would have two surprises 
when he came back.

This had turned out to be one of the best days I'd had since
Mulder's disappearance.