From: Sheryl Martin Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 21:28:05 -0500 Subject: NEW-Green Tea (1/1) Please Archive... grin... All Characters copyright of TenThirteen Productions and Chris Carter. No infringement intended on any part... go ahead, take me to court... I'm using the insanity defense... heh, heh, heh... Comments, complaints and just plain talk to sheryl_martin@goodmedia.com Summary: A few lost thoughts from Scully... Spoilers: Sixth Season; Amor Fati (like, you didn't guess?) Rating: G, vignette Green Tea (1/1) I look inside the spout of the old iron kettle; watching the water begin to sputter and jump out at me. Hot. But not boiling. Not yet. Turning the heat off I lift the antique carefully and fill the small teapot; dousing the green tea leaves in a torrent of liquid. Green tea is best made with hot water - not boiling. Boiling water makes it bitter and undrinkable. But knowing when to pull the kettle off the heat is the hard part. Aside from actually drinking the tea. Carrying the teapot and my favorite mug to the living room I sit them down on the table; my mind spinning at an incredible rate. My knees are still sore. I bite back the joke that Mulder would surely make and stare at the tea; willing it to steep faster. My lips are still tingling. Just from his forehead. My God, what has happened to me? The small jar of honey is back on the counter, making me get up and repeat the trip. Dipping the spoon into the sweetness I add a generous amount to the empty mug; tucking the spoon into my mouth to capture the last of the nectar. Just from his forehead. I have prayed before. When I was six I prayed for my father to return safe and sound from the sea; kneeling down at the side of my bed as I had been taught by my mother, hands clasped and eyes tightly shut. He came home. When I was sixteen I prayed for my freckles to disappear. They didn't. When I was twenty I prayed for a patient in the E.R. where I was putting in some hours. The man had been caught by a blast of steam from a burst water pipe and was scalded over ninety percent of his body. He died. I stopped praying not long after that. Put my faith in science and what I could see; feel; hear. But there was Kevin. And the girls after that. Suddenly my science mocked me; taunted me with the unseen strength of that which I could not prove nor disprove. And all I had to do was believe. I sat there with Father McKuen in a hospital room not long after that; tubes and machines monitoring my deteriorating condition and prayed for my life. I lived. But to be kneeling here in my apartment with Albert Holsteen; mere feet from where Melissa died as a result of our eagerness; our hunger for the truth... The tea pours easily into the thick ceramic mug; swirling around and devouring the honey eagerly as it becomes a hybrid of the two. My knees still hurt, a week later. I don't remember falling asleep. I don't remember lying down on the floor and somehow ignoring the man who mysteriously appeared in my apartment disappearing just as mysteriously. I don't remember having any doubts as to the strength of my belief or wondering if I was wasting my time. I do remember when I woke up; the disorientation of seeing my apartment from a child's level. A child's eye view of the world and where I was in it. And then I saw the envelope. The tea is hot; almost too hot to drink. But green tea is supposed to be good for cancer patients and I still rank myself among them. The scientists and doctors don't know exactly why or how it works, but it helps. Good enough for me. I prayed for Mulder. I prayed to find him alive and well. I prayed for someone to help me to help him. My prayers were answered. At a high price. I add another spoonful of honey to the tea; ignoring the inner voice warning of the calories and pop the spoon again into my mouth. The cooling liquid seeps into my bones and I am drowsy within the hour and ready for sleep. The tea is part of my nighttime routine now; one cup every night before I go to bed. Then I kneel down by the side of my bed, hands clasped in front of me and my eyes shut. And I pray. Because I believe now. ************* been there, done that... wrote the fanfic... ************************* People live with cancer. They carry on, and so will I. You know I've got things to finish, to prove to myself, to my family ... but for my own reasons. Scully - Momento Mori ************************* "Heart of a warrior, mind of a fool... soul of a romantic..." - Jackie St. George ************************* Dragon's Lair - www.geocities.com/area51/chamber/7976