Date sent: Wed, 25 Jun 1997 07:13:00 -0700 (MST) From: Tina Emmons Subject: Grief (1/1) Grief by JadeCrow emmons@maricopa.edu Spoilers: none Rating: V Summary: Mulder finds Sam...and peace. Disclaimer: Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, and Samantha Mulder belong to Chris Carter, Ten-Thirteen Productions, and 20th Century FOX Broadcasting. No copyright infringement is intended. Comments, suggestions, and flames are always welcome. Feedback would be greatly appreciated. This is my first post anywhere, please be kind! GRIEF by JadeCrow Sam stood off to the side, watching them intently. She had no memory of the tall man, of his intensity, of his pain. His was a shadow from the past that could not break through years of mind and soul numbing abuse. He claimed to be her brother yet his words struck no resonating chord within her. His tears were not a balm. She could see pain swimming in his eyes, hear it in his voice, feel it in the bone crushing embrace he'd given her, but it was meaningless to her. He grieved for a memory of a girl that no longer existed, a girl that, to all intents and purposes, was dead. That's how she felt. Dead inside. Nothing remained of the bright spark of her life. She was an empty shell. She'd died to humanity long ago. He was crying now with wracking sobs that shook his entire body. His tiny partner held him in her arms, her own face showing anguish and regret. He didn't understand. Sam tried to pull something from inside to give to him but the notion required more than she was able to give. She wondered, for a moment, why it should matter, but the question drifted away. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. She let her gaze move on, her ears shutting out the sounds of his sobs, her eyes taking in her surroundings. It was a gray place full of dark shadows. It was all she knew. The cold cement was comforting. The heavy iron door symbolized her sanctuary. It was broken, standing open as it was, letting the nightmares back in. For an instant, she'd felt pure terror as the door swung open to reveal his lanky form. She remembered the instant his eyes met hers but nothing after that. His eyes were full of darkness, they pulled her from her protected place, and left her hanging exposed. His emotions had washed over her, fear, anger, pain, incredible happiness, followed by incredible sorrow. He'd seen something in her eyes that had crippled him, made him falter, forced him to his knees and pulled a gut wrenching howl from deep inside. She let her eyes move back to the man and found herself staring into the eyes of his partner. They were incredibly blue and memories of a summer sky drifted through her mind. It was gone in an instant but she savored it. Sam began to feel tired, her vision growing dim. She could hear a distant voice calling her. Memories intruded on her solitude all at once, running through her mind's eye. A kaleidoscope of thoughts, feelings, and actions swept her along a tidal wave of life and she screamed. Pain and fear engulfed her and she felt the darkness begin to close in. She fought the pull of the tide of emotion, strained to regain the comfort of apathy, swam through the memories of herself and recognized the truth. Light and sound receded and for an instant, for a single moment in time, she knew. Her eyes filled with tears, the pain singing through her body with a delicious agony. She remembered who she was and what had been done. Her mind had opened for a split second allowing her to give the only thing she had left. "Fox." Sam's voice was rough, she hadn't used it in years. He stood abruptly and stumbled over to her, his mouth working but no sound emerged. She forced her hand to rise, to stroke his cheek softly. "Goodbye." Sam's hand fell heavily to her side, then her body toppled over, hitting the ground with a dull thud. "No!" His anguish pierced the gray and rent it asunder. Sudden light, from an unknown source, pierced the dark room to shine on her face. It had softened in death and she radiated tranquillity and peace. Like a warm blanket, her peace smothered his agony, softened his bitterness, and brushed away his fury. His tears fell once more, washing away regret. Dana Scully moved over to where Fox Mulder knelt beside his sister's body and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. He covered her hand with one of his own. They stayed that way, together in grief, until the pain was gone and only peace remained.