From: eponine119 Date: Sat, 2 Dec 1995 22:07:08 -0800 Subject: NEW: Happiest Place on Earth...(1/1) Disclaimer: Mulder and Scully belong to Chris Carter, 10-13 and Fox. Disneyland and its rides are I'm sure all trademarks of someone but since I don't know...don't sue me. My comments: I was originally going to do a story where Mulder and Scully went to Disneyland and made the employee's lives heck. But I decided it would be better to make Mulder and Scully have a bad day instead. And guys, hopefully this will offend no one - I love Disneyland. Really. Oh, and no references to Alien Encounters (a ride) because it's in Florida. Sorry. Also no X File or romance or anything. The Happiest Place on Earth - Till Mulder and Scully Got there by eponine119 eponine@uci.edu Motel Harbor Blvd, Anaheim, CA 8:25 AM Mulder reached the lobby a few minutes before the time he'd agreed to meet Scully and looked around, frowning. There was one heck of a wind blowing outside, he noticed. He turned from the window and spotted his partner. She didn't look much like his partner, though, in a big black T shirt and tan walking shorts. Hesmiled. Scully dressed like a tourist was almost worth it. Almost. He noticed she was wearing flats, a rarity, and walked over to her. He seized her arms and held her in front of him. "Where's Scully?" he asked, looking right over her head. "Mulder." "Oh, there you are." "Yes, here I am. Very funny." she said. "Are you ready to go?" "You mean you're really going to make me do this?" "Come on." Main Gate 8:35 AM "Sure is some wind, huh folks? Enjoy your day." grinned a wholesome young man. Scully smiled graciously, in spite of the fact that every speck of dust in California seemed to be in her eyes. She pushed through the turnstile. She turned to make sure Mulder was following. "It'll be fun," she told him, "You do remember fun, don't you?" "Vaguely," he remarked, staring vacantly. His eyes snapped into focus on her face. "Scully, please, anything but Disneyland." She rolled her eyes. She was determined that this would be an enjoyable, relaxing experience. For both of them. She rubbed her eyes and turned her face away from the wind. "Have you ever been here before?" she asked. He nodded, his mouth set in a grim line. "I was fourteen." "Oh," Scully could just imagine that. She put a hand on his arm. "You'll like it this time," she promised softly. He shrugged and they started up Main Street. "Scully, why are all those people just standing there?" "The park doesn't open till 9." "You made me get up and come here before they're open? Why, Scully, why?" "So we can shop." She said and pulled him into the Emporium. "At least we're out of the wind." he said, pushing his hair back into place. Scully dragged him around the store, looking at keychains, T shirts and figurines. "This place is full of kids," he remarked as the one standing next to him burst into tears. "Now that's spooky," Scully said. Plaza, 9:01 AM "What do you want to go on?" asked Scully, trying to look at the map but the wind wasn't cooperating. "Well, all those people are heading for the new Indiana Jones Ride -" Mulder nodded at the wild horde of people, "So...Space Mountain?" "OK," Scully agreed and they veered off to the right into Tomorrowland. "Oh, wait." Mulder stopped a few feet before the entrance as though he'd remembered something. "What is it?" Scully asked, concerned, as she tried to rub a speck of dirt out of her eye. The wind was blowing stronger than ever. "look. There's a height requirment," he said and she saw the evil glimmer in his eye. "Are you sure you can go on this?" She smacked his arm. "Ow!" he said. "You deserved that." she informed him, "I thought we were done with the short jokes at the hotel." Just because she didn't wear a business suit on vacation, just because she was wearing shorts and a Tshirt and flat sneakers, it wasn't fair for Mulder to make fun of her. They passed the height sign without incident. "You're not even wearing socks," Mulder said. "So?" "Where do you think we are, Miami?" Mulder asked. Scully decided to let the matter drop as they wound their way around inside the mountain. There was no line. "Let's go again," said Mulder when the ride ended. They did. "Let's go again." "Let's go again." "Let's go -" "Mulder." Scully said in that tone that let him know she meant business. "I like Space Mountain too, but I think four times is enough for me." His face fell. "We can come back later." He grinned and she grinnned back. He was having fun in spite of himself. She followed him around the corner. "What happened to Mission to Mars?" he cried, stopping. "What happened to Mission to Mars?" he turned around and asked her. Scully opened her mouth to say she didn't know, but he'd already walked past her to question the Space Mtn. attendant. "They closed it." she offered, looking a little afraid of him. "Why?" "Well-" She looked really uncomfortable. "No one wanted to go on it." "I want to go on it." Scully placed her hand onMulder's arm. "Come on," She tried to pull him away. "You can always go on Captain EO," the girl suggested. "Captain EO," scoffed Mulder. "Come on!" Scully pulled him away. "Don't intimidate the poor employees." He turned to her. "They closed Mission to Mars!" he cried, stricken. "I liked Mission to Mars." "It'll be OK," Scully told him, spotting a sign on the large red white and blue building they were approaching. She hoped he wouldn't notice. He did. "They closed America Sings!" he wailed. She tightened her grip on his arm. What had she gotten herself into? "Let's take the train," she suggested. She knew that wasn't closed, she'd seen it. "No, I know, let's take the Skyway." Mulder suggested. He stopped and looked up. So did Scully. She didn't see anything. Mulder stomped his foot. "What is it about this place?" "The train it is." Frontierland, 10:30AM "Which did you like better, Pirates of the Caribbean or the Haunted Mansion?" asked Mulder as Scully stopped at a drinking fountain and gulped down water, then rinsed her face. She gave him a dark look. "That's right," Mulder grinned, "You were scared in the Haunted Mansion. What was it that lady said to her kid in line? 'Only two year olds are scared'?" Scully finished drinking and pulled herself up. "I was not scared." "Yes you were." Mulder took her arm as they strolled along. "OK, maybe I don't like being reminded of our work on our one fun day of the year," Scully admitted. "Tom Sawyer Island?" "Sure." They turned and boarded the waiting raft. "You were scared." "Mulder." Scully groaned. "Between this wind drying out my skin and you driving me crazy -" she warned. He smiled peacefully. "That's better." They stepped off the raft and let the children race past them, then started down the dirt trail. Mulder couldn't resist. "Scaredy cat," he said. "Mulder!" she shoved him. "Scully!" he mocked, shoving her back. She pushed him harder. He pushed her again. A little too hard. "Mulder!" she cried, losing her footing and sliding down the steep side of the path. He grabbed at her, but he wasn't fast enough. He watched in horror as she disappeared into the plants at the edge of the island. "Scully?" he heard a splash and winced. Two employees in cut off shorts and straw hats were on the scene in seconds and pulled Scully, dripping wet, out of the water. She looked furious. Mulder took a step back. "Are you all right?" asked one of the employees. "Are you all right?" echoed Mulder. "I can't believe you pushed me into the Rivers of America!" Scully screamed at him and he prepared himself for the coming attack. But she caught herself. She was embarrassed and soaked, but there was no need to make this any worse. Dignified, she told herself, giving him a cool look. "You'll pay for this later," she told him. He had no doubt. But now that he knew she was going to murder him, he couldn't resist a little levity. "At least now you don't have dry skin," he suggested. Her eyes narrowed. "Maybe it's best if you go back to themainland." suggested one of the employees. Blue Bayou Restaurant, 11:17 AM "This is really nice," said Mulder again, trying to elicit a response. Scully continued to look absorbed in the menu. His voice softened into honesty. "Look, I'm sorry. It was an accident. And you're OK> So let's just move on?" She looked up and met his eyes over the menu. "OK," she nodded. That's when the tourist on the Pirates of the Caribbean snapped their picture. "Watch out for the waterfall," called Scully, brushing back he wet hair. The tourist gulped. The waitress brought their drinks and took their orders. "What's that?" asked Mulder, pointing to Scully's tall green drink., "Mint julep," she said, "Non-alcoholic." She took a drink from the straw. "It looks like Mr. Spock's blood." Mulder offered. Scully choked. "What, it wasn't that funny." She shook her head, making a sour face. "Try some." He did. "Interesting," he said. "Try disgusting." "I kind of like it," he said, drinking some more. "Ugh. You can have it." "Thanks." Mulder had another sip. "It tastes like...mint Ecto Cooler." Scully's eyebrows rose. "Ecto Cooler?" "You know, green Hi-c?" he explained. She gave him a look like he was crazy. Then the waitress brought them their Monte Cristo sandwiches. "I'm so stuffed," said Mulder when his plate was clean. "That was so good," Scully agreed, taking a tiny sip from her overfill water glass. Instantly the waitress was on them to refill. Again. Scully moved her glass away, but she persisted. "I don't want any more water, OK?" she cried and realized her voice was a little loud. Her face colored when she realized the people around them were staring. Mulder burst out laughing. "It isn't funny," Scully informed him. "It is," he insisted. "You're sitting there all wet and you say, 'I don't want any more water...'" She couldn't help laughing too. "Oh," she said, holding her full stomach. A different waitress brought their check. Its a Small World, 12:45 PM "Scully, no." She grabbed his hand pulled him toward the ride. "We can sit down." "We've been sitting down." "We can get out of the wind. And there's no line." She started down the ramp. "Scully, no." But it was too late. She'd already pulled him into the boat and it was underway. The tourists around him chatted happily and took flash pictures. Mulder glared at the sining dolls. "Scully, why are the boats going so slow?" She shurgged, smiling. "Maybe there's a crowd up ahead." "You know I get seasick," Mulder reminded her, looking up at the London Bridge. "This isn't the sea." She patted his hand. "It's not so bad, is it?" "No," he said as the child behind him started sobbing. "It's worse." They drifted along, very slowly. Scully began to try to identify the countries the dolls represented. The tourists behind them snapped pictures of the dolls on the Great Wall of China. "I don't see any little grey men," Mulder commented. His stomach was feeling awfully queasy. The big lunch didn't help. The boat entered the last room, full of all the dolls in white clothes. "Here you are. Grey." Scully said, though she had to admit she was getting bored. The song only had five words, after all. Mulder nodded. Their boat bumped the one in front of them and stopped. He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on taking deep breaths. All he could feel was the gentle side to side rocking of the boat, and his stomach. "Mulder?" Scully asked, seeing him close his eyes. It wasn't just the lights, she thought, his skin really was grey. He opened his eyes at the sound of his name. And threw up. Twice. He hung his head as he swallowed hard, trying to think of something funny to say. Silence rang in his ears. It seemed to him that even the dolls were staring. The boats weren't moving, so within a minute two employees dressed like sailors appeared to take him off the ride. Scully followed. "Are you OK now?" she asked eyeing him critically. He nodded. "I can't believe you got sick on Its A Small World." she said. "I can't believe those people took pictures." Mulder groaned. Circlevision, 2:00 pm "Are you feeling better?" Scully asked, looking carefully at her partner's face. "Stop asking me, I'm fine." he told her, ignoring the queasy feeling that persisted in his stomach. She gave him another long look before they proceeded into the theater. "Where are the seats?" asked Mulder. "You stand," Scully said. He groaned. "We don't have to see it if you don't want to," she said. "No, I want to." mulder assured her as the lights dimmed and the 360 degree film began. He leaned heavily against the railing as the circular motion started to affect his upset stomach. He eased himself up onto the railing behind him, sitting and letting it bear his whole weight. "Mulder," Scully hissed. "They said not to-" Her warning came too late. He felt the bars wobble beneath him and jumped up, but the lean rail fell over backwards. And struck the one behind it, knocking it down. "Dominoes," said Scully, amazed. "Run!" Mulder grabbed her hand and they bolted out the exit doors. Indiana Jones Adventure, 2:15 pm "Did we lose them?" Mulder asked, looking behind him. "I don't think they followed us," Scully panted, then gave him a stern look. "They said not to sit on the railings." "I guess I wasn't listening." Mulder shrugged and looked ahead of them. "I hate standing in line." "It said back there it's only 10 minutes." "Exactly." "Mulder, I think the line for this is a little longer usually." Scully pointed out, then sneezed three times in a row. "Are you OK?" Mulder asked. She nodded. "It's the dust from this wind," she said and sneezed again. "Look, we're almost there." "Good." Mulder said. The line advanced. "Come on." She'd stopped to read the warning sign. "Mulder, this says not to ride if you have motion sickness." "I'll be fine. I went on Space Mountain four times." "And threw up on Its' a Small World." "You're never going to let me live that down, are you?" he asked, catching a glimpse of the ride. "See, it's cars. Not boats. You don't have to worry about me." Three turblulent minutes later, their car returned to the loading zone. Mulder stepped out. "See, I told you you didn't have to worry -" he turned to his partner. "Oh My God, Scully." She frowned at him as a trio of ride employees in safari clothes rushed over to her. Mulder thrust a handkerchief in her face, under her nose. It came away bloody. "Did you hit your head, ma'am?" an earnest young man in a fedora asked. She sighed and grabbed the handkerchief. "It's a nosebleed." she said, annoyed. "It happens." she stepped out of the ride. Three tourists screamed and fled when they saw her, as though she were Godzilla. One snapped a picture. Mulder turned and frowned. The same tourists from Small World? he wondered. "Are you sure you're all right?" the employee asked again. Scully ignored him. "Sit down." Mulder suggested. "Put your head between your knees." Scully gave him a dark look, pinchin her nose with the cloth and tilting her head back. "That's for fainting, you idiot." "I told you I'd be fine," Mulder couldn't help reminding her. "I can't believe this is happening to me." People Mover, 3:00 pm "This is kind of creepy," Scully said as the small car passed the Star Wars droids and entered a pitch black tunnel. "Scared of the dark?" Mulder joked. "Of course not," Scully turned to look behind her again. "It's just...we're the only people on this ride and anyone could be lurking in the tunnels." "Wishing you had your flashlight?" Mulder smirked. "Actually, yes." "I'll keep you safe." Mulder patted the seat next to him and Scully switched seats. "Better?" he asked. "Yeah," she agreed, feeling silly as they entered the Computerized World of Tron. "And look, we're not alone. There's someone in the car behind us." Mulder pointed out. "The guy who'se been following us." Scully replied. Mulder laughed. "When did you notice him?" "Halfway through lunch." "Really? I didn't notice him till after that Circlevision thing." Mulder admitted, surprized. "You're losing your touch." The cars emerged into the sunlight. Scully waved at the man, who squirmed and looked uncomfortable, then waved back. "I wonder what he wants," Mulder said. "Probably to make sure you don't drown anyone else in the Rivers of America." Scully suggested. He smacked her lightly in the arm. "Hey!" "Serves you right." Mulder said, but couldn't keep from smiling. "Get back to your own seat." She did, switching sides so she was facing him, with her back to the man. "You'll tell me if he decides to jump across the cars and join us?" she asked. "Of course." Mulder smiled and she didn't believe him for a second. Submarine Voyage, 3:21 pm The man behind Scully in line poked her. Again. "I am so tired of people touching me," she muttered. Mulder instantly removed his arm from around her shoulders. She looked at him. "I didn't mean you. I meant strangers. Hitting me with their bags and purses and strollers..." "You're getting tired," Mulder rubbed her shoulders. "What makes you say that?" "You're cranky." "Hey!" she cried, offended, but she thought he was probably right. Her whole body was starting to hurt. "You wanna complain to our friend back there?" suggested Mulder. "Is he back there?" "Bet on it." They climbed into the submarine and she gratefully sat down on the tiny seat. The ride started moving and she looked out her porthole at the plastic fish. The man next to her rubbed his leg against hers. Scully shifted away, but it happened again. She gave him a dirty look that went unnoticed. OK, she thought, trying to calm down, these seats are a little too small for anyone with hips, it's an accident. He did it again. "Stop touching me," Scully ordered quietly. the man gave her an innocent look and she went back to looking out the porthole. She closed her eyes. Her head really hurt. The man's leg rubbed agianst hers and this time there was no way it could be an accident. "That's it," Scully muttered, "I'm hot, I'm thirsy, I'm tired. And I don't want you touching me!" she cried. The man stared at her. As did the other people on the boat. Even as she said this, his foot reached out and deliberately brushed her ankle. Scully jumped up. "Calm down," Mulder said with quiet force. "I don't want to calm down." Scully said, angry. "This is a place where people bring their kids. I think you should keep your feet to yourself!" she told the man and reached under her loose T shirt for her gun. "She's got a gun!" yelled a tourist. "I can't believe you brought your gun to Disneyland," Mulder said, an astonished smile crossing his face. "All right lady, that's enough." the man who had been following them grabbed her and removed her gun, pocketing it. "You're out of here." Scully suddenly realized what she had done and went along quietly. Mulder followed. Parking Lot, 4:45 pm "Well that was fun," Mulder said, looking at his partner. "I can't believe they interrogated us for an hour before they called the FBI for verification." Scully sighed wearily. "I'd have loved to see Skinner's face when he got that call," Mulder grinned wickedly. Her shoulders sagged. "What have I done?" "You got us kicked out of Disneyland." Mulder said. Scully could only nod sadly. "I told you you were getting cranky." She gave him a wry smile. "All in a day's work." She stopped and thought a minute. "What a rotten day." Mulder nodded as he steered her toward the street. "What do you want to do tomorrow?" he asked. There was a long pause. "We could go to Universal Studios," She suggested. "Oh no." he groaned, imagining it. The end. Well, that wasn't so bad, was it? Was it? Hopefully it was funny and not too many of the incidents flopped. Write and tell me! Please excuse all typos as I am under the influence of Nyquil. As for accuracy, I am not sure all Mulder's favorite rides were open when he was fourteen, but I'm pretty sure. And yes, it's true, the People Mover is closed as well, but for story purposes I kept it open. As for plausibility, not all of these events are so over exaggerated. Yes, I was almost pushed into the Rivers of America by my friend. (Veronica, are you out there???) As for mysterious men lurking around the park...who knows? I hope you all enjoyed it. Even if you didn't, e mail me. Tell me what you think. eponine119 eponine@uci.edu