From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: 9 Dec 2003 06:07:46 -0000
Subject: Have Yourselves a Merry Little Christmas by Jenna
Source: direct

Reply To: jennasxffic@lycos.com


TITLE:       Have Yourselves a Merry Little Christmas
AUTHOR:      Jenna (jennasxffic@lycos.com)
FEEDBACK:    Worshipped, adored and cuddled!
SPOILERS:    How the Ghosts Stole Christmas, NIHT
CATEGORY:    Mulder POV, Angst, Vignette that
             includes Scully and William.
RATING:      G
DISCLAIMER:  No infringement intended.
ARCHIVE:     Gossamer and Ephemeral.  Please ask
             first before archiving elsewhere.
SUMMARY:     Christmas through Mulder's eyes.
NOTES:       My gift to all readers this Christmas.
WEBSITE:     http://jennasxffic.tripod.com/

-----------------------------------------------------

It's Christmas Eve night and the glistening snow 
descends on the outside windowsill of my dark 
apartment.  Christmas has never been one of my 
favorite holidays.  As a matter of fact, I consider 
it to be the worst holiday of the year, especially 
considering the current Christmas carol being sung on 
my television.  

Every time I hear "Have Yourself a Merry Little 
Christmas," I remember a happy time when Scully and I 
sat in this very living room and opened gifts to one 
another.  However, that time has passed and so much 
has happened to us since then, some things for better 
and some for worse.  I've been forced to go on the 
run to protect the woman I love and the son who will 
only know me from pictures until it is safe to come 
back home to them.  I can't be with there so I 
compromise and send one recent picture of myself 
taken from an old Polaroid camera.  

For Scully's gift, I always send her a new keychain 
to remind her of our times together on the X-Files.  
She probably has more than she knows what to do with, 
but I know she appreciates the sentiment behind the 
gift.  She knows it's my small way of telling her I 
love her.  Will is much easier to buy for as he is 
still young.  I know Scully spoils him rotten for the 
both of us.  I always send her enough money to make 
sure that happens, particularly since I can't use the 
money my father left me for my own benefit.  It would 
draw too much attention to me and put Scully and Will 
in danger.

I would say I'm content with the pictures she sends 
of herself and Will, but I'd only be lying to myself.  
I long to hold them both in my arms and close to my 
heart.  I can picture their Christmas ritual each 
year, almost as if I were there.  She, Will and her 
mother have traveled to Bill's home for the Christmas 
holidays.  Charlie and Sarah and their brood are 
there.  Children are running everywhere.  Happiness 
surrounds the entire Scully household with laughter 
in all the rooms.  

However, I can imagine one lone figure staring out a 
window at the same glistening snow that falls on 
another windowsill and wonders about my safety and 
when I will be coming home to her and our son.  
Sending my thoughts from a distant far away place, I 
silently tell her and our son to "Have Yourselves a 
Merry Little Christmas," and smile in spite of the 
solitary tear that slides down my face.

-The End-