From: rah@twinparadox.org
Date: Tue, 16 Jan 2001 03:13:04 -0000
Subject: xfc: HAVOC 1: The Fifth Excuse (Sagan&Rah)
Source: xfc

Title: Havoc 1: The Fifth Excuse (first in a series of several)
Authors: Sagan & Rah
E-mail: sagan@twinparadox.org & rah@twinparadox.org 
Summary: The annual Team Builders Seminar comes around 
again...
Classification: Series; humor, UST (pre-Season 8)
Rating: PG (for now...)
Spoilers: for the purposes of this series, Requiem and 
everything after does not exist; several general allusions to other 
episodes.
Archive: Auto-archive, KTF, & Spooky's ok; others, please ask.
Feedback: Always cherished.
Disclaimer: Never were. Never will be. Shit. 
Notes: (important) at the end

X

HAVOC, Part 1: The Fifth Excuse

X

"There's another one."

Scully looked up from her book and peered out the window at the 
passing billboard. "Don't even entertain the thought, Mulder."

"It would be fun, Scully," he said, seriously, knowing she had 
already chosen to ignore him.  They drove for a few minutes in 
silence.  Another billboard loomed ahead.  "Look -- only seven 
miles."

She didn't bother to look up this time. "No."

"Seven is a lucky number, Scully."

"What -- ?? -- No."

"Come on, Scully -- we're *so* close --"

She folded the paperback over her thumb and turned to look at 
him with her most studied expression of aggravation. "We 
*can't*. We can't just blow this seminar off again this year. 
Skinner would go ballistic.  HR would probably take measures 
--"

"HR can kiss my --"

"No, Mulder. No."

Mulder huffed and scowled through the windshield as another 
billboard advertising the exit for the Disney Parkway came into 
view. He gripped the steering wheel. Only five miles away...

"I don't want to do this any more than you do," she said. She was 
gazing absently at the same page she had been turned to for the 
last fifteen minutes. She sighed and shut the book, letting it slip 
to the floor at her feet. "But we've managed to *miss* the Team 
Building Conference four times now. Four times, Mulder. It's 
started to look strange --"

"We had a legitimate excuse every time, Scully."

"Well," she smiled out the window at the late afternoon traffic, 
"despite your gallant efforts to drum up a an x-file for us along the 
way, we're *here*. No moth-men, no telekinetic preschoolers, no 
roadside wrinkles in the space-time-continuum. Not even a 
raging case of post-nasal drip, which I believe was the excuse 
last time --"

"I was *sick*, Scully."

"Whatever. We're here now, and there comes a time when you 
just gotta do what you gotta do, Mulder. You know. Cowboy up 
and bite the bullet."

"I just hate to break our perfect non-attendance record," he said, 
checking over his shoulder before he eased into the passing 
lane. 

Scully snorted and looked out the window. The turn into the 
Orlando Conference Center was coming up on the left, and 
Mulder had hit his turn signal for the exit. The largest billboard 
yet, suspended over the highway, rose up in front of the car. The 
Happiest Place on Earth! it said. Scully sighed. Happier than a 
conference center crowded with federal employees? More fun 
than building mountains out of office furniture or going days 
without using the word "but"...? 

You bet your ass. 

Scully shifted in her seat and looked over at her partner. "*Disney 
World*, Mulder?"

He looked back at her, eyes twinkling at the sound of her resolve 
crumbling. "It would be *fun*, Scully," he said again.   

They had just seconds to make a decision before they passed 
the Conference Center exit.  Mulder glanced between his partner 
and the road, his face alight with anticipation and mischief.

Scully took a deep breath, felt a grin starting at the corners of her 
mouth. "It is late," she said. "I'm sure we've probably missed 
registration for today..."

"Come on, Scully."

She shook her head, rolling her eyes at the ridiculousness of it. 
She couldn't believe she was giving in to this. "There is the wine 
and cheese reception --"

"C'mon, Scully!"

"Okay! Okay," she said, laughing. "We're already late --"

Mulder gunned the engine past the Conference Center exit with a 
whoop of excitement. They were going to Disney World.

XX

The sun was beginning to set as they made their way into the 
park along the Disney Parkway, and the twinkle lights were 
coming on in the trees when Mulder pulled up in front of the 
Grand Floridian Hotel.

"What are you doing?" Scully asked.

"I'm booking us a hotel," he said. He had already unsnapped his 
seat belt and was getting out of the car. She hurried to roll down 
her window and called to him as he bounded up the steps past 
the waiting valets and bellmen.

"Mulder! We can't stay here --!"

He paused mid-stride and looked back at her.  "Why not?"

"Because, we already *have* rooms back at the Conference 
Center Guest Suites, and because -" She swept a look around 
the elegant surroundings and lowered her voice to an 
exaggerated whisper. "This is a four-star hotel --! We don't even 
have reservations."

Mulder smiled as he walked back to the car and leaned over her 
window. "It's okay. I'll cover the hotel. That way we can get an 
early start at the parks tomorrow."

She sat back and gave him a look, eyebrow raised. "We have to 
go to the seminar tomorrow."

His face fell as he stood up again. "I thought we just agreed to 
have some fun here first," he said.

"*Tonight*, Mulder. I thought we were talking about spending the 
evening here -- grab some dinner, a quick walk through the park. 
Maybe some rides..."

Mulder looked at his watch. "It's already five o'clock. If we're
going 
to shell out forty-bucks a pop for park-passes, I'd kind of like to 
get my money's worth."

She had no response to that. She was beginning to regret giving 
in to him. But there was no going back now -- even if she tried to 
renege, tried to put up a resistance, he would still win in the end. 
He always did. 

He reached into the car and tousled her hair. "A night in a 
four-star hotel might be *just* what you need," he said, and 
turned to walk into the hotel. He looked at her over his shoulder. 
"It'll be fun, Scully," he said. "I promise."

Scully watched him go with another small sigh, fixing the hair 
that he had mussed. Five, she thought, with a smile. Five years 
in a row he had managed to put off this seminar. She chuckled 
softly to herself as a valet approached and opened her car-door. 

In a way, it was kind of impressive.

XXX

The interior of the Grand Floridian Hotel lived up to every bit of
its superlative name. Scully combed her fingers through her hair 
and stared in wonder at the lobby, which was enormous, and 
beautiful. Losing track of Mulder for a moment, she gazed 
around her at the vaulted ceilings and columns and gigantic 
potted palms. The last rays of the day's sunlight slanted in 
dramatic diagonals from the skylights above. Soft music from a 
piano tinkled its way through the huge open space, and there 
were several guests lounging in the overstuffed couches and 
chairs. Everything gleamed with serene high-class luxury. She 
could feel her qualms about staying here melting away.

"May I take your bags, ma'am?"

A uniformed bellman had appeared at her elbow, hand 
outstretched to take the small bag from her shoulder. He gave 
her a bright smile. Scully smiled back and handed her bag to 
him.  "Thank you," she said.

"Your room, ma'am?" he asked. Scully blinked at him.

"What?"

The bellman smiled at her confusion. "What room are you 
staying in, ma'am?"

"Oh. I don't --"

"Five-twelve."

Mulder was standing beside her, folding his wallet back into his 
pocket. He gave her a wink and handed her a skinny folder with 
brochures and tickets enclosed. The bellman looked suitably 
impressed by the mentioned room.

"Honeymoon suite," he said, nodding appreciatively. "Shall I take 
your bags up, sir?"

Scully's head came up at the bellman's first word.  "What --?"

"Sure -- here." Mulder handed his garment bag and one of the 
key-cards to the bellman before he turned to her. Ignoring the 
look of utter perplexity on her face, he asked, "Do you want to 
stop up to the rooms first, or go straight to dinner?"

Scully shook her head to clear it. It was like sensory overload. 
"Mulder --"

He turned quickly back to the bellman. "We're gonna grab 
something to eat first... George," he said, reading the bellman's 
nametag with a smile. He pressed a tip into George's hand. 
"Thanks."

"Thank you, sir. Your bags will be upstairs when you get back."

Scully stared. "Mulder?"

"I'm starving, Scully," he said, draping an arm around her 
shoulders and steering her back toward the entrance.  "What do 
you want to eat?"

"Mulder --!"

"What?"

She forced him to a halt just outside the doors.  "What was that?" 
she asked. "Back there. What was that?"

Mulder gave her a little smile and started walking again, arm still 
hanging across her shoulders. "*That*, Scully, was the lobby of 
the flagship Disney resort. Pretty impressive, huh?"

"You know what I'm talking about," she said, looking up at him. 
She could tell from the glint in his eye, and the way he had his 
lips pursed to keep from smiling that he was having enormous 
fun. She stopped them again. "Did you tell them we were 
married? Did you tell them we were newlyweds?"

"No! Of course not --"

"Then why did the bellman call our rooms the 'honeymoon 
suite'?"

"You don't have to be on your honeymoon to stay in the 
'honeymoon' suite, Scully. It was the only way I could get us 
connected rooms," he told her. He glanced down at her with a 
wink. "*And* a Jacuzzi."

"A Jacuzzi?" she asked. "Really?"

"Indeed," he said, waggling his eyebrows at her, Groucho 
Marx-style. "And there's room enough for two, if you catch my drift 
--"

"Keep drifting, buddy," she said, giving him a push. His arm 
slipped from her shoulders and they walked, side by side, 
toward the monorail station.

"You know," he said, glancing through one of the brochures he 
had been given at the hotel. "I haven't been here since I was a 
kid. At the time, I couldn't think of a better place. It was like 
heaven."

Scully nodded her appreciation. "So tell me," she glanced up at 
him as they waited for the train. "What's the going rate per night 
for heaven these days?" 

Mulder chuckled as the train slid noiselessly into the station. "I'm 
not telling," he said. "You don't want to know."

TO BE CONTINUED

X
Look for HAVOC, Part 2: Meeska Mooska (PG) to be posted to on 
Tuesday, January 16, 2001.

NOTES: This Wednesday is the anniversary of this story, which 
appeared in its first incarnation as "M&S Wreak Havoc on Disney 
Wd" at the X-Files Official Site Fan Forum on January 17, 2000. 
For more information about this series, how it came to be, and 
who was involved, go to www.twinparadox.org.

LIZ24601, if you're out there -- this one is for you.