From: Nacillia26@aol.com
Date: Thu, 19 Aug 1999 20:28:51 EDT
Subject: Heart Beat By heartbeat
Source: direct

Heartbeat by Heartbeat
                  *
     Nacie Carson

Email: Nacillia262aol.com
Rating: G
Archive: Anywhere
Spoilers: Up through Season Four
Category: V, Character Death, and A
Author's Note: A small vignette written under the impression that 
Scully's cancer was not cured.
Summary: Mulder recalls life, heartbeat by heartbeat...

Heartbeat by Heartbeat
By Nacie Carson


We live our lives 
Day to day
Year to year
Lifetime by lifetime

I have lived my life
Second to second
Minute to minute
Heartbeat to heartbeat

I have watched mothers bury their children
Friends pass on
Lovers kiss their last kiss
And those in limbo of lover and friend say good-byes
With one-thousand regrets and pains

I have felt the sun hard on my back
The rain cold on my skin
The earth firm beneath me
And the prickle of death's whisper 
In my ear

But I lived
And lived
And kept living after she ceased to
And I never forgave myself

And I can recall every one of 
My one thousand regrets
That always stopped us
That kept the barriers firm; the walls strong

And as I look wantingly into death's face
I can see her smiling
Free of that which took her from me
Free of the cruel mutated cells that lurked under her beautiful fa=E7ade

I now hear - beautiful and simply mundane
Heartbeat followed by heartbeat
Breath followed by breath
Smile widening and laughing

Framed forever by fire red hair
Taking my hand 
And I can feel mercy and forgiveness
Flow through my now silent veins

Regrets littering my road to heaven

~ Finis ~